#tales of arcadia incorrect quotes

[honeyxmonkey]

Toby on the phone with Jim: Yeah... he's in the kitchen again

Draal, reading a recipe: "Beat three eggs." In what? Hand to hand combat?

Jim: GET. HIM. OUT.

[jeena-says-hi]

How they should have found out Strickler is a changeling

Toby : Don't worry, I got a plan.

Jim: Alright.

Toby: ChangelingSayWhat?

Strickler: What?

Jim:

Toby:

Strickler: No wait-

[tigereyes45]

Merlin: I don't play favorites. I have disdain for all Hisirdoux and non-Hisirdouxes equally.

[seekerofblades]

Merlin:"Hisirdoux, you had ONE JOB!To prevent the Arcane Order from getting the Genesis Seals, and to keep the world safe!" >:O

Douxie: "But that's two things!" D:>

[honeyxmonkey]

Jim: We're here today to mourn the passing of Hisirdoux Casperan. He died of lack of sleep, food, and sunlight. Rest in peace 😔🙏🏻

Douxie from his room: QUIT TELLING EVERYONE IM DEAD YOU JACKASS

Jim: Sometimes I can still hear his voice

[jeena-says-hi]

Barbara, driving Jim and Toby back from school: So how was your day?

Toby: We almost got surprise adopted!

Barbara: What?

Jim: We almost got kidnapped.

Barbara: Oh, okay.

Barbara: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!

[classyglitterstarfish]

Jim: truth or dare?

Douxie: truth

Jim: how many hours of sleep have you gotten in the last week

Douxie: dare

Jim: go to sleep

Douxie: play by yourself

[quotes-of-various-fandoms]

NotEnrique: I think it’s time I get my life in order.

Claire, narrating: But he did not get his life in order. In fact, he got drunk last night and fought a raccoon.

[honeyxmonkey]

Douxie: I love when my boyfriend is confused because his head tilts to the side like a confuddled puppy. Does it make more sense at a 45 degree angle, Sunshine? Does tilting your head make it make sense? I love him, he's so silly

Jim: I... don't know whether to find that cute or be extremely concerned for you. Like, mentally.

[arcadian-socks]

Someone: I can't help but notice that Douxie is still 19. Care to explain?

Toby: He spawned like that.

Jim: It's a family recipe.

Claire: He just has a really good skincare routine.

Eli: He is a vampire.

Mary: Editorial keeps retconning him.

Strickler: He "fell" into the Fountain of Youth.

Aja: This is his sixth life.

Krel: There's a bug in his code.

Darci: Every time he turns 20 he reverts like a jellyfish.

Steve: He said he doesn't feel like it and I don't blame him.

Zoe: He's 19 again?! Douxie, I told you to stop doing that!

[sofiafantasies]

Day 1, Incorrect Quotes Douxie: In my defense, I was left unsupervised. Claire: Wasn’t Jim with you? Jim: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

[many-gay-magpies]

[lifblogs]

Douxie in 3Below: Want to hear about my side quest?

Aja: Not really!

[classyglitterstarfish]

Douxie:

yeah im doomed by the narrative but i have a little time to be absolutely gay

putting my inevitable death on pause to be homosexual for a second

[asco-bisco]

TOA Incorrect Quotes: Stabbed Responses?

Toby: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife? Krel: Rude. Eli: That’s fair. Jim: Not again. Steve: Are you going to want this back?

[generalallxsanjishipper]

Some incorrect\extremely correct quotes for my EXTREMELY FAR AWAY IN THE FUTURE ADP FIC (and in part in TIALAMYDK LMAO)

***

Alice *after entering Douxie's mind for several minutes, on the floor*: Oh, wow. Your brain is a disaster

Douxie *also on the floor*: Yeah, I know

Alice : Ever thought about doing drugs?

——

Zoe: Casperan. 

Douxie: Ashildr.  

Zoe: Clumsy dumbass. 

Douxie: Angry Chiwawa. 

Claire: *confused* What are they doing? 

Archie: Insulting contest. 

Claire: Ah. 

Zoe: Old Man. 

Douxie: Dwarf. 

Zoe: Flat ass.

Douxie:  Useless Half Lesbian

Zoe: Knucklehead

Douxie: Mosquito

Zoe: Peter Pan

Douxie: *Suddenly grinning* Pinky pie. 

Zoe: EXCUSE ME?

Douxie: HA! *Claps hands with a smug face* I WON! 

Zoe: HOW DID YOU JUST CALL ME?! I'M GONNA FUCKING END YOU! 

Alice: Now, now… 

——

Douxie: Hello, my name is Failure, and you're watching my life crumble into pieces.

Douxie: *waves his fingers and sings like he is in a Disney Channel intro*

——

Simon: Why are you on fire?

Douxie: This is just how my day is going.

——

Douxie: Everybody shut up, please! I'm thinking.

Zoe, patting him on the back: Well, don’t think too hard. I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself.

Douxie: Oh, for the bloody sake, Ashildr!

——

Jim: I’m here for the cult stuff.

Alice: How did you find us?

Jim: I saw your ad on craigslist.

——

Alice: To be honest, I'm kinda pissed that I'm not asleep in bed next to the love of my life in a cottage with no obligations other than watering my vegetable garden.

——

Archie, looking at Douxie, Alice, Simon and Zoe: Okay, so I need to become a therapist faster.

——

Simon, on the phone: Oh, hey man… Sorry for accusing you of murder last week.

——

Alice: Someone take me to art museums and make out with me.

Zoe: But they said not to touch the masterpieces.

Alice: Well somebody's got to pin the artwork to the wall.

Douxie, on a mic that he brought by himself: This is Douxie, those idiots are fucking around in the East wing again.

Douxie:*drops the mic on the floor and leaves, muttering about being a third wheel*

——

Zoe: Mom liked to say ‘you can be part of the problem or part of the solution,’ but I happen to believe you can be both.

——

Jim: Who's in charge here?

Zoe, shrugging: Usually whoever yells the loudest. So, me.

——

Barbara, seeing both Douxie and Alice on wheelchairs: I hope you have an explanation for this.

Alice: We have three, actually! :D

Douxie: Pick your favorite.

——

Alice: *venting endlessly to Simon about her week*

Simon, every once in a while: *in a monotone* Wow, that is so wild.

——

Alice: Yeah, well I've never died so how do I know that Gods or... God are real.

Nari:*appears*

Alice: WHAT THE FLIP

Athena:*appears too*

Alice:*looses her flipping mind*

——

Zoe, to Claire: Well, one of us has to be wrong and it’s not going to be me.

Claire:

Claire: Yes, it's you, actually.

——

Alice, *talking about Zoe*: She's the girl of my dreams!

Douxie: You say to most of the girls that they are the girl of your dreams.

Alice: I have a lot of dreams.

——

Douxie: The next time I open up to someone, it'll be my autopsy.

——

Simon: Sorry I can’t be emotionally vulnerable with you, it'd ruin the mystery.

——

Zoe, *talking about one of her first meeting with Douxie*: And then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife several times.

Jim: You mean you stabbed him?

Zoe: He ran into my knife.

Douxie: She ran into my knife, too.

——

Zoe: I don’t even have time to tell you how wrong you are.

Jim: Okay?

Zoe: …

Zoe: …

Zoe: Actually it’s gonna bug me if I don’t, so...

——

*Zoe and Alice are texting*

Zoe: Your ass is like…

Zoe: Spacious

Alice: WHAT

Zoe: Sorry, I didn’t want to say fat because it might trigger your ED

——

Bastard number 1:*sarcastically, while leaving* I hope you all make it to adulthood.

Jim: That’s... a great prayer.

Simon: A needed one.

Douxie: A needed one indeed.

——

Simon: I will send my army to attack!

Simon: *makes roaring noises*

Simon: *releases a dumpster of raccoons*

Jim, next to his Vespa: WHOA

Jim: THEY WERE YOURS????

——

Zoe, singing to the tune of I Kissed a Girl: I killed a guy, and I liked it-

Douxie, whispering: Should we call the exorcist?

Alice, also singing: The taste of his cherry chapstick.

Simon, appalled, but looking apathetic: Call the exorcist.

——

Zoe: Alice and I are no longer dating.

Alice: Zoe, that’s a horrible way of telling people we’re married.

——

Zoe: Hey, quick question. How petty am I allowed to be?

——

Alice: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?

Alice: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies.

Toby: Socks are Feetie Heaties.

Jim: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties.

Douxie: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies.

Claire: Stamps are Lickie Stickies.

Zoe: I hate you guys so much.

——

Alice, looking through their clothes: Has anyone seen my top?

Simon, grabbing his mint gums without looking at her: Zoe's in the kitchen.