#tana mongeau astrology

[starzalign]

I knew Tana Mongeau’s controversial ass was Ardra 😭

They’re never chill at alllll and always have a string of lies and deceit following them, now I gotta know the rest of her chart

[vivianbernadetteaurora]

Part two

Moon signs and your mum

Cancer moon 🌑🥀💫🦀♋️😇

I’ve noticed with cancer moons, they fall into one of two categories. They fall into the one where they can be quite abusive with their mother, or they are attached to their mother dearly. They will defend their mother to her deathbed mother is everything think their moonshine is cancer. That is the home of the moon, the mother everything where you came from and have this moon placement is really significant specially for the likes of someone like Drew Barrymore, mother was a stage mother and not very good to do. She let her go out partying and taking drugs when she was like 13 maybe younger, and of course she’s a Pisces, and that’s like that goes through the territory and a Gemini rising, if they have that right It’s very sad I feel like cancer so good at picking up the energy of a room and knowing how to deal with it. You also get the stone cold ones who are like don’t care and we’ll just do it as they don’t care about the social graces and they don’t care about trying to fit in which to me is actually a lovely trait. You know where you are with someone like that rather than someone crawling all over like eczema , they like to either be the counsellor or council others. I had a cancer moon boyfriend. In fact I have had two cancer boyfriends and they had two sides of them. Definitely one of them was an Aries and one of them was a Pisces, the Pisces, one was very deep and sentimental already, but he was also could be an eternal victim whereas the other one was had this weird relationship with his father. The mother was everything he loved his mother and he put a lot of emphasis on his mother and the time they spent together, but his father never wanted him so he always had that energy so my astrology now he’s teaching me teaches me that the fourth house can also be father , it’s a put if a cancer is going to have to choose between a parent every time it is going to be mum, even if they have a very close relationship with the father it’s always going to be my mother . you may have had a mum who is very emotional, very heritage and learning about her lineage, she may have had a very stressful start herself emotionally she in the dark and she could’ve had issues getting pregnant. You may have been adopted she could’ve been Baron on the lighter and she could’ve got pregnant really easily and had a lot of children definitely an emphasis on children and emotions. Your mother may also have been mentally ill and you may have felt like a bit responsible for your mother’s feelings. She could’ve been very emotional about your father or her partners and you have protected for all that cancer and moon, who she loved ever so much .

People say that Gemini or Libra placements can be bisexual or lesbian, but I’ve tend to disagree. I feel like people have got strong cancer placements will either be queer, bisexual, pansexual, bisexual, pansexual and the rest, but some of them may pull against that and be closeted case in point Taylor Swift, a lot of her fans believe that she’s secretly gay and has gay relationships instead of the relationships that her PR team put out and if you listen to a lot of her songs which I haven’t, but I know by listening to her fans they’re very pro woman, and I love that maybe because of my Some of them will be quite stone cold like Kurt Cobain, one of my favourites and Courtney Love they could be a quite wild. Can’t is a crazy fuck at the moonchild. Don’t be too hard on these people because they they have the moon cycle like every two days, and it’s gonna fuck with them specially if they’re a cancer rising, and they’re gonna fill that intensity and ability Mariah Carey Aretha Franklin they’re both Aries and they both fucking speak their truth and they ain’t gonna lie about it they don’t know her.

Some celebrity examples of having a cancer moon would be Courtney Love, Tana, Mongeau, Drew, Barrymore , Mariah Carey, Taylor, Swift, Shakira, Kurt Cobain, because that’s face of his feminine , Drake,  Vanessa Paradis, Gwen Stefani,  Kris, Jenner, Queen, Camilla  Janis Joplin and  Sophie Vergara . 

Leo Moon 🛍️💘✨😎♌️🦁🌝

The Leo moon and the relationship with their mother Leo actually rules the father so to start off with. We’re not rolling a mother like planet. These guys might have quite masculine energy and may have needed a father figure in their life, even though they didn’t get that, so the mother becomes complicated and almost a third wheel on this relationship, I get this as I’ve got a Leo moon sister, and I feel like she really needed a father. Her father had horrible. Things said about him in the family that he was a child abuser, and I’ve never really ever spoken to my sister about this, but my sister exerts such a masculine energy and I get it because I’m Leo son but it feels like a lot of it locked away. She has very sarcastic sense of humour. She’s an Aries son, the mother almost becomes an irritant so the mother on the end may be narcissistic. Maybe all about her a bit of a victim. This is just how the child sees it. It may not be completely true, but the child is true. The mother may also be a bit emotionally distant from the child, and not so attached to the child on the lighter end of the spectrum, the mother could’ve had quite an easy-going approach but could’ve also been strict in earlier childhood and the early years and then when it came to adult which this child peaked to a younger age they didn’t get as much attention as they maybe should from like their brothers and sisters as their brothers and sisters dead they can feel like a bit lost so they could constantly trying to be striving for that male energy in their life, which can be very exhausting like I feel a lot of Leo placements are looking for that father approval daddies daddy saying like it’s okay so on the lighter and your mother could be very kind, very gentle very humbling she could be entertaining. She could be a caring mother a hands-on mother. She could also be shy at times and sensitive and a lot of the times people don’t get this about Leo energy. This may rub off to you. You can be very quiet but you could also have a very sensitive deep side and if people say something to you that well you up you may it may hurt you for a very long time you may all see partners that are quite a bit older than you as that emphasis like I said on the father other than the moon sign previous to you which is cancer which is doing the opposite of what you’re doing. They’re doing it to their mother, not their father so is a Leo moon always know that you are loved whether your father was there or not you are worth to be loved and you deserve that respect. You deserve the love and know that you are worthy of any kind of love and if anybody hurts you, it says more about them and it says about you I know that you’re sensitive Leo I love you as a Leo son kiss kiss examples of Leo moons

Celebs

Lana Del Rey, Megan Fox Monica Bellucci, Julia Roberts, Queen Elizabeth the second, Paris Hilton, Megan Thee Stallion, Renée Zellweger, Jane Fonda, Dakota Fanning

I’ve definitely noticed there’s an emphasis on the father like I said with Leanne and them trying to find that relationship with men that’s definitely examples of the mother also though with people like Megan Thee Stallion who is orphan from young adult from her mum and her dad. Her mum was the one who inspired her to be a rapper, but died just before she became famous Very sad. Lana Del Rey seems to be influenced a lot by men and men culture and sexual culture, but that could be like I say high school rising coming into the mix as well which is also about men because it’s ruled by Mars and then her mum is in cancer. So yeah there’s just a lot going on there I feel like Leo moons are very reserved and back and like I said they’re more sensitive than they let on so if theycome across this shitty or arrogant to you just know that this isn’t who they really are they’re just it’s just a bravado with Leo sometimes

Virgo 🌑 moon 🌚🧐♍️🌪️🍏

If you’re a Virgo man, you probably go out with a mother that was maybe very cautious. She might’ve been cautious about your health. She might have been quite dynamic and flexible. She also might have turned her nose up at other people she might have felt like her actions were always the right actions, and she was always right with that earth, sign energy and your relationship with her may have felt very Verbal all about verbality, she could’ve been a massive talker. She could’ve been very sociable. She might’ve made you be quite neat and tidy and make sure that you had that as an ability to be clean and sensible, she might have also taught you all different types of lives out there and not to get caught up in anything. She wanted to pass you on the front of knowledge with Mercury ruling that sign as well as Gemini means he might have had a very social house I have found sometimes with Virgo means to be quite abusive and like I said with dark side and like it’s end of the signs that not every sign is going to have those attributes, but you need to be aware that you come off is quite abusive, emotionally, passive, aggressive, and almost jealous of other peoples happiness or if this is not the case this is the case with your mother, it can be a very psychic placement.You were taught to be very adaptable for a young age your needs emotionally. You need someone who you can intellectually understand you so when you can have a really good chat with Someone you can bond with on that level, but you say might have a tendency to be an introvert and need your own time you’re not the biggest socialiser ever which is some misconception with Virgos. Virgos can actually suffer with anxiety quite a bit but they might have verbal diarrhoea, if they were brought up in a hectic household they were to self soothe maybe from a young ,age. having this placement, you may have also appreciate where in a conversation and use with as a way to get free things but also you may have a really good sense of humour due to this when it came to hell maybe your mother was over cautious with your health. Maybe you had a lot of health problems or stuff suffered with stomach problems upset stomach or diarrhoea and that comes with the anxiety which rules Virgo and also the stomach. You may find things that are really good for this, such as yoga any kind of exercise, walking or reading, also may have a very good singing voice and may be inclined to the arts of music or playing an instrument. You definitely have the attention span to do so, you may have felt like your mother didn’t encourage you enough at sometimes so you had to do it yourself. Virgo grows up from a very young age and I have noticed this placement moves out of home, very young or to another relatives house and that’s not, Virgo means that’s placements. 

Celebrity placements Sharon Tate,Madonna,Nicki Minaj ,Selma haiak,Blake lively , Jodie foster , Jada pinkett smith ,cab

[elxctrics]

"i was born to run, i don't belong to anyone, oh no. i don't need to be loved by you. fire in my lungs, can't bite the devil on my tongue, oh no."

(—) ★ spotted!! LEYLA PASHA on the cover of this week’s most recent tabloid! many say that the 23 year old looks like ASENA KESKINCI, but i don’t really see it. while the SINGER is known for being CONFIDENT my inside sources say that they have a tendency to be OBNOXIOUS i swear, every time i think of them, i hear the song MIDNIGHT SKY by MILEY CYRUS {she + her / cis female}

𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓬𝓼

name: leyla pasha

age: twenty three

nicknames: ley-ley, pash

date of birth: august 22nd, 2001

astrological sign: leo

place of birth: istanbul, turkey

occupation: singer

label: the pop sensation

positive traits: confident, talkative, spontaneous, energetic

negative traits: obnoxious, scandalous, no-filter, shameless

characters/celebrities he’s like: dua lipa, tana mongeau, renee rapp, aubrey plaza

𝓫𝓲𝓸𝓰𝓻𝓪𝓹𝓱𝔂

she was just supposed to be a normal girl, or at least that's what her parents tried to make her.

with her father being one of the most popular actors in turkey and her mother being a supermodel turned luxury clothing designer of her very own line, although they tried their best to shield their only child from the opulence and the glitz and the glamour, leyla was drawn to it like a moth to a flame.

she was loud and dramatic and often times considered 'too much' and her parents figured boarding school would whip her into shape come high school, but it did just the opposite.

after being shipped off to london, leyla started a youtube channel documenting her freshman year, vlogging all of the debaucheries things her and her friends got into.

she was a notorious party girl and wasn't shy about drinking and doing drugs on camera, despite the fact that it was causing wild headlines back home in turkey and causing her to get in lots of trouble at school - but trouble was nothing that mommy and daddy's money couldn't buy her out of.

in between the vlogs of her throwing ragers in her dorm room, every once in a while, she'd post covers of her favorite songs, and those videos became her most popular. garnishing over millions and millions of views.

when she was only seventeen years old, warner brothers reached out to her and offered her a recording contract, which she happily took.

they were lacking a giant, female pop sensation and planned on turning leyla into just that.

a day after she threw her hat in the air at her boarding school graduation, she was on a plane to l.a straight from her graduation party and finally, the life she always wanted was about to begin.

after two long years of working on her first album, three years ago, her self titled album, leyla pasha, was released. this album secured her the win for best new artist in 2020 at the grammy's.

since then, leyla has been touring this album while also releasing a plethora of singles and collaborations - from title tracks for movies, to collabs with the hottest artists in the industry, she's truly becoming the newly cemented princess of pop.

however, she remains in her messy roots, not one to change for the cameras or become more uppity. she still keeps up with her youtube vlogs and still, unashamedly, acts exactly like the wild party girl she used to be back in london.

she truly said fuck you to media training and is known for saying the most out of pocket things in interviews, calling people out and starting shit online, just because she can.

[straycat777]

I saw this “God’s Favorite” bag on a Tana Mongeau video and went on a search. Found a good Vogue article on the label Praying and went through their site. These items were my favorite. I can relate to “Feral.” And I find the statement “God’s Favorite” super funny. Astrologically, I have Venus in the 9th house so the mixture of spiritually and fashion resonates with me. This placement also makes me more of a spiritual person than a religious person. This statement makes me think of superiority that accompanies many religions and just how ridiculous it is. I also really love the philosophical written word and mind playing double entendres colliding with clothes. Even though some of the messages were not of my own slippery rock religion.

Apparently the label is established and connected enough to have a Vogue article written about them, as well as a sellebrity following. Super interesting brand and apparently a side project for the founders. It’s small and limited. And it has this feel of an inside joke between two people. So not all the pieces hit with me - but this is it’s individualistic appeal. And probably why they claim to have a very diverse clientele. It’s independent. It’s organic. It’s feral!

And I love to find fashion now that returns itself directly to the original artist, as opposed to these one eye corporations of fashion industry following an algorithm. Unique talent -one of those small 3D brands. Even though many of these 3D brands have veins that lead back to this industry beast.

https://www.vogue.com/article/praying-label-skylar-newman-alex-haddad

[cosmic-crybaby7]

Cancer sun, cancer moon ♋️🌙

[curlyhairedintrovertsworld]

i just watched tana mongeau's last video upload and her life went to shit in october and ME TOO except i haven't fully recovered and it's a physical problem and i'm so sad about my problem but at least i wasn't the only one the moon or stars or whatever fucked over

[justins-foley]

I saw someone on YouTube saying that Jaclyn Hill is the Tana Mongeau of the beauty community and it couldn’t be more true.

They are both a Sun AND Moon in Cancer, and they clearly have a lot to learn about handling their emotions. Except that Jaclyn is supposedly a Leo Ascendant (with both her Sun and Moon in the 12th house); which means that she loves the spotlight and she loves being seen, but she is very confused when it comes to her own identity. Tana is supposed to be a Taurus Ascendant with her Sun and Moon in the 2nd house, which makes it easier for her

[shelbytaylorexists]

cuz shes a fuckup and she’s so fucked up

[niksdesignzone]

Someone please buy a digital download 🥰 I would very much appreciate your support on starting my small art business 🎨 thank you in advance 💕

https://www.etsy.com/ca/listing/1164452296/gemini-ski-babe-wall-art-digital?ref=shop_home_active_1

[leo-confessions-blog]

Why do you dislike cancers? I'm a Leo so I'm just interested cause I have met many or became close wit them

*SIGH* WELL, I’ll be the first to admit I for sure have a personal bias with the sign based on my experiences with Cancers. So, maybe I just haven’t met the right ones, but isn’t that what astrology is? Just interpreting people though personal experience with the sign and other people’s experience? ANYWAY. The more I started to really research and look at the sign the more I really started to have a problem with it. Cancers are marketed as the moms who prioritize everyone else over themselves and just emotionally helpless little beings. HOWEVER, honestly cancers are very emotionally perceptive of what people need (which is true of the mother aspect) but they use it to advance themselves and completely MANIPULATE others to SOCIAL CLIMB or get what they want. To say that they just want to take care of you is a lie. In my opinion, they are one of the most selfish signs out there and I’m not about the false hype!!! Sure they’re great about taking care of you if you serve their own interests, but believe me, unless you’re blood related they will drop you. They are also MASTER LIARS. Don’t believe me about any of this? Watch nearly any cancer sun or cancer dominant celebrities like TANA MONGEAU (huge example of this) or Shane Dawson (huge example of this). There are so many more I’m sure. Anyways, I don’t hate them. I just think we should all (especially trusting Leos) need to watch our back around Cancers xx

[berkcwitz]

❛ ✶ (   madison beer, cisfemale, she/her   )   spotted   !   jalissa   berkowitz   was   spotted   singing   along   to   find   my   way   by   dababy   in   hilton   grove  .   you’ve   heard   of   them   right   ?   they   are   a   twenty   two   year   old   pornographic   actress   /   internet   personality   who   has   already   amassed   a   net   worth   of   550m  .   you   should   really   follow   them   on   insta   @callmejalissa  ,   they’re   about   to   hit   89m   followers  .   the   tabloids   have   been   calling   them   the   vixen   because   they   are   known   for   being   whimsical   but   also   a   bit   abrasive  .   though   most   people   recognize   them   by   a   drunken   gaze   staring   into   the   mirror   as   she   holds   finger   guns   to   her   head   ,   a   laugh   too   contagious   ,   leaving   notes   in   lipstick   on   bathroom   mirrors   &   echoing   of   her   mothers   longtime   disapproval   .    —   ooc info   (   mia.   twenty.   est.   she/her.   )

GUYYYSSSS ?! this group ? a masterpiece , wow . im hella excited to get to roleplay with you all . im mia by the way , im twenty ( i’ll be 21 in june what a vibe ) & i live in the est ( a clam chowder eating , dunkin donuts chugging , no Rs havin , boston sports loving new englander ). also i go by she/her pronouns ! i am going to be so honest with you guys . this intro is dummy long . like , i promise i will not judge you if you hmu asking for a quick synopsis of my girl because this shit below this cut ? is a novella & a half , sis . if im very honest i really just needed to flesh her out completely because she’s a new baby of mine ? and i wanted to make sure i really knew her before i put her out on the dash . im so anal about this , i know . anyways , before this little note section gets as long as the intro without further a do ? adu ? idfk ... here’s jalissa , she’s ... a piece of work . also if you'd prefer to plot on discord hmu @ 𝖒𝖌𝖐'𝖘 𝖜𝖍𝖔𝖗𝖊#9789 .

𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐈𝐍 𝐃𝐄𝐏𝐓𝐇

full name: jalissa  billie-jean  berkowitz nickname: lissa , jals , jb , berks , jalissa cadden ( porn name ) birthday: october 13th birthplace: fort lauderdale , florida hometown: hilton grove residence: hilton grove nationality: american ( est. 1997 through birth ) , british ( est. 1997 automatically a citizen due to mother’s citizenship , passport was claimed est. 2012 ) ethnicity: askenazi jewish ( maternal & paternal , 100% ) religion: judaism orientation: pansexual , panromantic ( she never really came out per say , people just kind of know she’s attracted to all genders . her family is very religious and she’s very involved with her synagogue so she’s made the choice not the necessarily put a label on her sexuality but is open about loving people no matter gender ) languages spoken: english ( fluent , first language ) , yiddish ( fluent , second language ) , spanish ( fluent , third language ) , german ( conversational , fourth language ) . father: henry  christian  berkowitz  ( 50 years old )  was born & raised in fort lauderdale , florida by a politician / banking heir & talk show host / philanthropist . henry himself went on to follow in his father’s footsteps and serve as a us senator for two terms & currently is the ceo of berkowitz capital . ( relationship:  it’s never been perfect but the love is clear in the relationship & he’s been much better at being supportive of her in recent years . certainly a daddy’s little girl even when you do wrong you can’t do much wrong type of situation ) mother : austen  sylvia  rachelson-berkowitz  ( 48 years old ) was born & raised in westminster ,  england up until her teens when she & her mother moved to washington dc after her mother had become the incumbent uk ambassador to the united states . austen was crowned miss usa at the age of 20 & later went on to follow in her families long time involvement in politics ( holding former offices as a us representative as well as governor for two terms ) . today she spends much of her time putting her law degree to work on criminal cases . ( relationship: they’ve never been close & have never quite seen eye to eye . since jalissa was nineteen she & her mom haven’t said more than ten words to one another & if they have it’s never necessarily positive ) brother: kenneth  patrick  berkowitz  ( 24 years old ) was born in fort lauderdale , florida & raised in hilton grove . he shares the same parents as jalissa and is the couples first born & only son . kenneth is following in the berkowitz footsteps & is heading the uk sector for berkowitz capital since graduating from columbia university a couple years back . ( relationship: the two siblings have always been close. they had a similar friend group growing up & alot of the same interests . they’re still rather close to this day despite being countries away from one another ) sister: sariah  rachel  berkowitz ( 19 years old )  was born in fort lauderdale , florida & raised in hilton grove . she shares the same parents as jalissa and is the couples last born . sariah currently attends stanford university where she’s on a pre med track . ( relationship: the two were often at each other’s necks growing up . mostly because how similar they are to one another . as of recently the two have grown close , though , with sariah fessing up to looking up to her older sister ) social class: upper education: highschool diploma ( hilton grove highschool g. 2015 ) career: youtuber ( from 2014-present ) , pornographic actress ( from 2016-present ) , podcaster (from 2018-present ) notoriety: being apart of the prominent berkowitz family , having one of the top 10 most watched pornographic movies , her podcast with her best friend tickets to our downfall  & her youtube channel callmejalissa . weight: 122lbs  height: 5′4″ hair color: brown ( with blonde highlights ) eye color: hazel ( wears blue contacts sometimes ) positive traits: whimsical , astute , extroverted , affectionate , quick , intelligent , friendly , ambitious , passionate , humorous , loyal , compassionate , effervescent negative traits: opportunistic , recalcitrant , hypocritical , vain , critical , stubborn , distant , sneaky , abrasive , sarcastic , obsessive , vengeful , reckless , arrogant likes: black coffee , birthday parties , lying , sunshine , baby pink , glossy lips , gossiping , stand up comedy , sunkissed skin , dogs , peanut butter , popping champagne bottles , driving with the windows down , swimming , mimosas , oversized sweaters , taco bell , cranberry juice , makeup , football , cosmetic work , arguing , online shopping , exotic foods , jewelry the price of a car , fresh berries , roller skating dislikes: liars , driving in the snow , her mother , jelly , basketball , bad drivers , when people lie about their cosmetic work , sushi , hateful people , disloyalty , overly emotional people , romance , being alone ,  astrology enthusiasts , hospitals , silence , cheap perfume , criticism , traffic , being late , red wine , short hair , anything banana or grape flavored  hobbies: reading magazines , dancing to her newly curated playlist in the mirror , gossiping with her grandparents , video editing , meddling , going for brunch , goat yoga , drinking alcohol while snuggled up in bed , painting alternate universe cartoons , attending big soirees , making impulsive decisions , smoking weed , sleepovers with her closest friends , suntanning on yacht decks , late night instagram lives , marilyn monroe movie marathons  chara inspo: kourtney kardashian , emily nelson ( a simple favor ) , tan france ( queer eye ) , evie zamora ( thirteen ) , rebekah mikaelson ( the vampire diaries ) , jennifer check ( jennifer’s body ) , gabrielle solis ( desperate housewives ) , regina george ( mean girls ) , lucifer morningstar ( lucifer ) , kathryn merteuli ( cruel intentions ) , veronica lodge ( riverdale ) , chanel oberlin ( scream queens ) , samantha jones ( sex and the city ) , andie anderson ( how to lose a guy in 10 days ) , blair waldorf ( gossip girl ) , naomi lapaglia ( wolf of wall street ) , maddy perez ( euphoria ) , kat hernandez ( euphoria ) fashion inspo: fran drescher , bella hadid , alex chung , madison beer , romee strijd , kendall jenner , selena gomez  career inspo: tana mongeau , jordan lipscombe , sofia franklyn , alexdandra cooper , lana rhodes , abella danger headcanons: she has one hundred percent smashed the windows in an exes car , she drives a black range rover , vandalized an exes home before , says “ harely quinn is my spirit animal “ once a day , is not the type of ask if you’re okay with her vlogging , has slept with rock stars and couldn’t care less that they’re basically the age of dirt at this point , is actually very sad when she’s not putting on the vivacious front in front of people , dances on tables whens she’s drunk , its not a party unless someone has offered her a line  

𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐉𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐀

the   berkowitz   family name has long been one that holds prestige & power . among the 1% for over a century . they are a prominent banking family that has had their hands in the pots of nearly every big banking company across the nation . coming into the united states after word broke of the california gold rush back in 1849 , the berkowitz brother’s were of the lucky few to acquire pounds of gold by the thousands . later founding what would become a leading investment bank known as berkowitz capital . the generations to follow would capitalize on the head start given to them by the two brothers . expanding the family company as well as the knowledge of the family name through heavy involvement in politics alongside the kennedy’s . since as early as 1953 there has always been a berkowitz family member actively appointed to a political role ( governor , senator , representative , us ambassador , etc ) . although the families roots within the states are documented in the capital of california , as generations went on they made their way over to the east coast , with most of the family members now residing in southern florida . 

the   rachelson   family is a prominent political family . synonymous with power & eloquence . with their rise initially taking place in the british parliament . many escaped to england from germany between 1933-1935 . they hadn’t settled into the states until jocelyn rachelson ( jalissa’s maternal grandmother ) was appointed the united kingdoms ambassador to the united states in 1987 . the rachelson’s have since had heavy involvement in the us government , both behind the scenes and at the forefront . much of the rachelson family have stayed within the european union ( germany & poland ) as well as england . although the few that followed jocelyn to the states now reside in washington dc and the tri-state area .

henry & austen had met through their mutual friends . it didn’t take long before the two became a rather public couple , a supercouple if you would ( similar to that of a brangelina of the 1% ) . although they’d met in new york the two decided that when it was time to start a family they wanted to move to hilton grove , an island austen had eyed for years . instead they found themselves moving down to fort lauderdale where henry had grown up . before they knew it , they were three kids deep in settling down in fort lauderdale . austen’s anger from never wanting to build a life in florida started to tumble into the relationship & the daily life of the family & so in an effort to recover the marriage henry agreed to moving the family up to hilton grove , where they have resided ever since .

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐉𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐀 𝐄𝐑𝐀

jalissa was born the second of three children and oh boy does she suffer from middle child syndrome , riddled with a envy and a need to be in the mix . the berkowitz household , although , from the outside looking in looked like a fabulous family life was anything but . jalissa , like her siblings , was born on a pedestal & what came attached with that was even higher expectations from her parents . her parents found a way to be extremely authoritarian & uninvolved all at the same time . they were very dismissive if you disappointed them & everything jalissa did seemingly did just that .

for a long time she was obsessed with getting her parents approval , she’d turned life into a silent competition between herself & her siblings . she befriended only the people her parents approved of , did all the events they asked her to do , did everything she could to excel academically & only dated people who were of benefit to her parents ( people who’s parents where also in high places ) . 

during highschool she joined the model un , debate team , and soccer team . if it were up to jalissa & not her parents she’d probably had joined the cheerleading team but her mother would never let that fly . it was too “ self indulgent “ to fit the family brand ( if only she’d known what would be coming years later lol ) .

it wasn’t until she was seventeen that she started to deviate from her parents wishes . of course , the catalyst to this was a boy , one her parents hadn’t really approved of but jalissa was completely head over heels for him . he really helped her boost her confidence to be her own person ? and not allow her parents to treat her like a puppet . with his encouragement she started her youtube channel , something she’d wanted to do for years but her mother had shot down the idea anytime jalissa brought it up . it was once again too “ self indulgent ” . the channel known as callmejalissa was an outlet for her , talking to a camera was the most heard she’d felt in seventeen years of her life . and god she knew that was hella sad . she really grew to view her subscribers as family & by the time her channel was brought to her parents attention ( more like her mothers , her dad had found her channel just four months after she’d made it and promised not to tell her mother so long as she was smart about what she posted ) she was about to turn eighteen and there wasn’t much they could do to stop her from doing it .

at eighteen she’d graduated highschool salutatorian with offers from university of pennsylvania & brown university . in all honesty she didn’t wnat to go to college , she saw it as a complete waste of her time . it wasn’t like she was going to do anything with the degree anyways . it would simply be a point of bragging for her parents at events & at this point she really could care less about them being able to brag to their friends . she knew she had to play along though , because this was the same year she was going to receive her first half of her trust fund ( a whoopin 500m , yes her trust fund in total will be 1b her parents are grossly wealthy guys ) so she bamboozled ? her parents , promising she’d committed to attending penn just so they’d allow for the money to be released to her account . she moved out of the house , literally moving into a house of her own a couple blocks from her parents house & claimed she was living in pennsylvania for college . we stan a sneaky binch .

two months later her parents were at her front door , though , ready to give her an ear full . her mother basically disowned her at this point . telling her how every year jalissa found a new way to be a bigger disappointment . her dad kind of played good cop , like he normally would because her mother often dug into her pretty deeply . to the point where any insecurity ( even though with the way she carries herself you’d never think she has any ) she has stems from something her mother has said / called her in the past . if henry berkowitz had a soft spot , it was certainly jalissa , it that had only grown clearly with the harsher austen became on the girl .

a few months before her nineteenth birthday a sex tape was released of jalissa cheating on her boyfriend at the time . it was a drunken mistake she’d made around the time of her mother basically disowning her , but that explanation did suffice for her boyfriend who inevitably broke things off with her . although this was a horrific time she’d received an abundance of offers to film more tapes . it was enticing to say the least . she was someone who loved intercourse but also had this deeply rooted desire to get back at her mother ? and what better way to do so then to something so far left from what her mother was about . this was next level disappointment in the eyes of austen berkowitz . the only thing that made sense ( in her mind ) was to dive head first into the porn industry .

like you’d expect her parents had a fit when they found out about her new career choice . although her internet fame had soared to new heights and her youtube & instagram followers were loving every second of this move . her mom was currently serving as governor and has since not been able to get elected in the political world since jalissa became one of the top porn stars around . they basically blacklisted her & jalissa feels no remorse , she’s gone so far as telling her mother “ sucks to be shunned , huh? ” .

although it took her dad a while to come around , he cares far too much to shut her out . 

not to long after jalissa & her best friend started their podcast tickets to our downfall , it’s a mix of call her daddy & the basement yard , basically two besties talking on a level that most people wouldn’t want to leave the privacy of their own space , giving advice , hoe tricks , and telling funny stories of their past . it a total hit & one of jalissa’s favorite things to do .

she live sin the same house she has since she was eighteen . she lives on her own with three dogs and a cat . she absolutely hates being alone and so maggie ( a tan corgi puppy ) , louis ( a  yellow lab puppy ) , humphrey ( a chocolate lab ) , and cedric ( a orange scottish fold ) are her babies that keep her sane in her big ole home . 

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 

as you can tell jalissa is chaotic , impulsive , reactive , and overall just searching for attention . she doesn’t care if the attention she receives is for the wrong reason or not , as long as she’s getting it . despite this she’s a good person ? i promise . she’s very friendly , loves a good joke & having a good time . very fun loving . she’s the type of person to try and bring up everyone else’s mood even when she isn’t feeling 100% herself . she’s loyal to those she deems are loyal to her . sometimes she’s bad a seeing who is actually loyal to her though & will be disloyal to someone who actually has her back ? oops . she’s definitely not the type to sugar coat anything for you , she tells it like it is & refuses to apologize if that hurts your feelings . if you cross her ? i’ll be praying for you . she’s the type to fuck your s/o , tell your boss some wild story about you & dump alcohol over your head at an event all in the matter of a week . don’t get her going , she’s absolutely relentless . with that said she’d very affectionate ... ? you can catch her hugging up on whoever is next to her at all times . touch is her love language , because lord knows she’s no sweetheart . she hates the stereotype of porn stars / internet personalities being ditzy , although she didn’t attend university she was accepted into two ivy leagues based off her academic abilities alone . the girl is intelligent & enjoys having a clever conversation from time to time .

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

a girl squad or just a squad in general really , give my baby her lil group of people please

her ex boyfriend from when she was seventeen ( he’s mentioned above ) but basically he’s the one who encouraged her to not let her parents make her their puppet , they didn’t approve of him , jalissa fell head over heels for him . they would’ve dated for nearly two years because the sex tape of her cheating on him came out .

the person she cheated on her ex with ? maybe they’re the one who leaked the sex tape ? maybe they never even told jalissa they were recording ? 

her best friend that she does the tickets to our downfall podcast with ? these two are literally like twins , just two peas in a pod ( pun intended )

fans of her work ? and im not taking about her youtube channel or podcast 

ex hook ups that think she’s crazy ? she probably gave them reason to think so lbr

frenemies give me blair & serena circa season one type of shit

just plain old enemies , they were probably friends at one point or maybe just have always disliked one another ? 

smoking buddies were they literally just hot box cars together and munch on taco bell talking about why sound vibrates & shit 

someone who isn’t afraid to confess their love for jalissa but her damaged ass refuses to confess her feelings for them ? so it’s just this constant cycle of them having a good time , them being sweet & her just gets weirdly quite & starring at them before she complaining about them going and ruining the vibes

she’s a bad influence on them ? they’re a good influence on her ? ride or dies ? partners in crime ? only friends when there is a substance involved ? sugar baby vibes ? unlikely friends ? flings ? crush ? friends with benefits ? everytime they are around one another its a fight ? someone she lets crash at her place sometimes ? someone she’s backstabbed & maybe they don’t even know she has & they still think she’s a ride or die for them ?

[starfoxrry]

hellooooo, hope you had a good night's sleep! It's okay i hope you did amazing in your test! i didn't get any cake bc... i dont know jkvjn my parents weren't home most of the day and it didn't occur to me to get one myself idk, I turned 20! ooh i've never watched those channels i'll check them out. More hints mmmmh i'll tell you that you mentioned me on your latest blog rec ask thingy fsdhks you're watching endgame today???? omg i'm so jelly i cant wait to watch it 🍓🍓

i absolutely fucked the test up sdfnksdnf it was for this geology course im taking and i had no idea how to spell cumulonimbus NSFJKFS thank god the girl in front and to the left of me were legends enough to show me how to spell. see i might be dumb but at least im not tana mongeau dumb. u should get that cake soon my dude !! if ur birthday was awhile ago does that mean youre an aries or a taurus ? it means absolutely nothing to me bc i dont understand astrology but i guess its gay culture by now to pretend like you care abt someone’s sign am i right. and i mentioned u in my blog rec huuuuuhh mhmm means i already adore you !!! i am i am watching endgame in five hours or so and im sHAKIN in my BOOTS

[weedinduceddepression]

how is tana mongeau not a gemini .... like HOW ... astrology is cancelled !!!

[nj-stone]

April for AstroLada - Weekly Astrology Forecast for July 19-26, 2019 & Celebrity Coffee Talk! | Tana Mongeau / Jake Paul... https://youtu.be/QBSj8sWldoY via @YouTube

[alexaplaydespacit0]

ALEXA KRISTEN SANTAMARIA {GENERAL//MAIN VERSE}

and i find it kinda funny, i find it kinda sad the dreams in which i'm dying are the best i've ever had i find it hard to tell you, i find it hard to take when people run in circles it's a very very mad world mad world

GENERAL INFORMATION

Name: Alexa Kristen Santamaria

Other Names: Lex, 

Gender: Female

Titles: Ms

Birth Date: September 3

Birth Place: Toronto, Canada

Dominant Hand: right

Astrological Sign: Virgo

APPEARANCE

Height: 5′2

Weight: 119 lbs.

Species: Human

Skin Color: tan

Birthmarks: none

Hair Color: dark brown

Hair Length: mid-long 

Hair Type: straight  

Hair Style: down or pulled into a pony tail/bun

Eye Color: dark brown

SOCIAL

Mother: Victoria Santamaria

Father: Christopher Santamaria

ROMANCE

First Love: Alexa’s first ‘love’ was one of her mom’s friends little boys who was like a year older than her.

Love Interests: n/a

Marital Status: Dating Tanner

Orientation: bisexual

Significant Other: Tanner

Flirtiness: Alexa knows she’s hot, so she doesn’t need to flirt- the flirting comes to her.

Turnons: sense of humor, pretty eyes, nice bod, 

Turnoffs: rudeness, too forwardness

Virginity: tanner swiped her Vcard (just like archie and veronica swiped each others imena what???) 

TOP THREE PLAYED SONGS:

Victorious - Panic! at the Disco

what makes you beautiful - one direction

Hefner - Tana Mongeau

[niksdesignzone]

New addition GEMINI SKI BABE 🔮😋✨❄️🕹🍭

Digitally download this piece today:

https://t.co/IOUBOTkUZA

Much appreciated 💜