#tbf my last 2 special interests also do not really go with the way i actually am. i shouldn't be surprised

[daz4i]

how did i manage to get this deep into the reasons to live series when I'm this suicidal. i blame the clown

[violeswaifu]

🌸YUKIMURA CHARACTER/ROUTE/EVENTS SPAM!!🌸:

Lately I’ve done a lot of spams that I hope people have liked. I’ve done a spam on a lot of shadow routes but also 2/3 of the top rated Slbp rated characters.

(Saizo✅ and Masamune✅)

(I combined Saizo’s with his little brother, both different summaries ofc)

So I guess it’s time to include Yukimura in a spam? Here’s my collection of photos of him and lengthy opinions as always. Like a lot of words ahead

Our lovely Donut lover. I actually like donuts a lot and this is something we have in common so like +500 for you

The Sanada brothers are so amazing and adorable haha. Nobuyuki was actually in an event recently, idk what to think yet but he’s hilarious in the routes/events. Yukimura has a really fun and unproblematic family so it’s always refreshing 😂 (totally not hinting at Saizo and mainly Masamune)

Our so called shy boy seems to know what he’s doing hey?

☝🏼these screenshots were right next to a picture of my husbands (like my real life one) sleeping face and idek why but it was hilarious.

Did you read the claim me at last epilogue or remember it? If you want more screenshots of it let me know 😂it’s a will do

I always like including these type of pictures, considering giving a girl a hairpin or Kanzashi, often were signs of marital status, class, etc. But right here samurai give their women hairpins as in a marriage proposal, correct me if I’m wrong though

So before we begin: I tried my best with this review, for some reason writing this review had me on like 100 with being hyper. I also asked a friend to assist me since it’s been awhile since I’ve done Yukimura’s

Route summary as always kinda spoilers:

Remember how I said Masamune’s route gave me my virginity back? Yeah Yukimura’s is full on cavity sugar filled rom-com with the dark military drama

He’s kinda like a “I SHALL GIVE MY LIFE FOR MY CLAN AND MILORD SHINGEN! 😈” but mixed with a “😳🥺”

Sanada Yukimura , The Sword of Japan. One of the Sanada Ten Braves and second son of the Sanada clan

favorite food consist of donuts🍩

His weakness: women

So basically as most light routes go:

you get sent off as a poison tester in place of your younger brother Yahiko. Disguised as Yahiko you arrive to Shingen’s castle with a big pat on the back.

No really Yukimura was quick to welcome you into the ranks of men. Gotta be with the bros right? He’s so cheery about it too, like he’s so pumped up about MC being there that his retainer even had a: “I didn’t know you were doing that kind of recruiting” statement

I’d also like to add, Yukimura and Masamune visit each other’s routes quite often 😂

(tbf the only reason Masamune found out MC was a girl was because he pulled out his sword on Masamune and it cut her. SO THANKS YUKI!)

This was from a recent event story 👇🏼

Anyways, as Yuki starts to experience confusing attractions to MC (his whole experience with this is fucking hilarious)

But bam all of a sudden Yukimura finds out the MC is actually a woman because silly MC ups and slips off the roof one lovely evening and by accident he touches her chest while grabbing her. He puts two and two together then realizes, “oh shit” she was a girl.

He’s so horrified from having done this to her that he later swears to protect her and help keep her identity a secret. (He’s so cute isn’t he 😂)

Long story short, this fails because Saizo figures it all out (ofc he did lmfao) tells Shingen

she almost died

Spoiler: After Saizo and Shingen engage in a conversation about this, they concluded that MC might be a spy for the Oda. So they ordered her to be beheaded (ouch)

and then Yukimura is like

“WAIT SHES MY WIFE!”

then next thing you know they’re on their way to meet the Sanada fam.

So although there is the cute, happy parts, you’ve gotta expect the sadness ahead.

So one thing, as always the parents in this game aren’t always angelic..or alive.. haha sorry

Yuki’s dad well his dad’s expectations for Yuki is to die in battle basically. So that’s pretty interesting to look for in this route. Especially because MC’s father died giving his life up to war.

MC is pretty badass in this one too, she’s got her risky battles and their hard challenges.

MC is awesome because yk she’s not gonna just let this guy go and kill himself.

So she does something special

Spoiler:

She gave her dads hairpin to him before battle so as a promised he’ll live to return it for her.

To conclude:

MC: 9.5/10

Funny and cheesy vigin 101: 10/10

Sadness and angst: 7.8/10

Hot and bothered: just wait for the claim me at last event

Anyways Yuki is really fun and events don’t do him justice with his goofiness. I’d say it’s definitely worth it. Saizo and Yuki are definitely a good pair to do

Hell finish off the family and do Nobuyuki and Shingen next if you haven’t done it 😂

If you haven’t done Shingen’s yet: Beware, his is literally so smutt filled 🌝

Any questions or want recommendations just comment below.

Want me to do another character that I haven’t done?

(Someone actually asked about the top three the other day @gay-noodle-clan thanks for the idea 🥰)

-Raaven

-(Thanks Phebe for the help with this!)

Oh yeah I wrote this at 1:20am exactly for no specific reason.. it’s currently 9:20am and I’ve edited this so if you saw this before the edit..I’m sorry you had to see the hyper

Shadow routes I’ve reviewed:

Naraukami Kyoichiro

Kirigakure Hotaru

Mitsuba Kaede/Sogo

Routes I’m currently doing: Fujibayashi Genya

Routes I’m doing next: Fujibayashi Sakuya

My Favorite routes:

Hotaru and Kyoichiro (they are the best pair to do in the shadow routes)

[petersasteria]

Rumor Has It - Tom Holland (High School AU)

Pairing:  Jock!Tom x Musical!Reader, BFF!Haz x Reader

This is my entry for @t-holland2080‘s writing challenge, but since I took a writing break from here, I didn't write it. The prompt was an Adele related quote and tbf, I've had this idea for about a month. So, I thought of mixing them up together. I've been re-watching Glee. Hence, the high school au and the Glee inspired stuff throughout this one shot.

Prompt: "You're so dramatic." "That's rich coming from the person who acts like everything is an Adele song."

Add yourself to my taglist if you’re cool x

5.3k words omg lmao hope y’all enjoy I guess

Part 2

* * * *

Rumors. No one liked them, but every day there seemed to be a rumor made up by someone. Rumors tear other people down in a lot of ways. The idea of lies spreading everywhere wasn't ideal for everyone, yet people seem to really believe them. No one knows who starts a new rumor and no one knows how they come up with it. Rumors are basically the outcome of a person's creativity put into terrible, terrible use.

Last week, someone spread a rumor about you getting your lips fixed even though you didn't. Whoever said it was clearly false, because you wouldn't want to put your talent at risk even though it wouldn't really affect your voice.

The rumors had different themes every week. Last week, it was all about someone getting any part of their body changed. This week, however, was all about break ups. Of course, your relationship with Tom wasn't spared by that rumor.

You were dating a popular guy. Of course they'll be rumors about you two breaking up. Only this time, it felt real.

Everyday you felt like Tom was slipping away from you and you didn't want that. You didn't want your favorite person out of your life yet. You've only been dating for a year and a half and you actually planned to have a future with him. You were sure.

You already had everything planned out. You were moving to New York to pursue your Broadway dreams and Tom would move with you. Both of you were applying for colleges there and you were so excited.

You were settling with him. The only question you asked yourself every night was: 'Is Tom settling for me too?' You weren't stupid, though. You knew you were losing him to the captain of the cheer leading squad. How cliché, right? He would always talk about her, he would talk to her, walk her to class and go as far as comparing her to you. It hurt. What hurt most was that he didn't even notice he was doing all of those things.

"So what'll you do with the whole Tom and what's-her-name thing?" Harrison asked you when you both entered the glee club's classroom. "I know this week's rumor is all about break ups and shit. I don't even know why rumors have themes but it is what it is, I guess. But anyway, I heard from Lauren who heard from Samantha who heard from Dylan who heard from Adam that Tom was leaving you for her."

You sighed and shook your head, "Let's not talk about it, okay? But I'm expecting that he'll break up with me soon. I mean, I won't be surprised because the rumors of our break up are beginning to come true."

"Just know that no matter what happens, I'm here for you." Harrison smiled as both of you took your seat. You looked at him and smiled as you took his hand in yours and squeezed it. It was your way of saying thank you.

This week's glee club assignment was to sing an Adele song and you loved it. You loved Adele. Her songs held so much angst and you live for it. Sometimes, you thought that Adele was taking over your life because some of her songs matched every situation in your life.

Out of all of Adele's songs, you didn't know what to sing. Thankfully, Tom helped you out by breaking up with you the next day over the phone.

"Tom, we had plans for New York!" You pleaded.

Tom rolled his eyes and huffed, "Those are YOUR plans! If you want to move to New York so much, then move there with your loser best friend, Harvey!"

"His name is Harrison-"

"I don't fucking care. Move there with him if you want to move there so much. I want to move to L.A. I don't fit in at New York, Y/N." Tom sighed. "We both want different things and with her, it's different in a good way. We both want the same things and I can see myself having a great future with her."

"What about me?" You asked softly.

"What about you?" Tom furrowed his eyebrows. He just wanted to end the conversation already because he was preparing to get ready for a date.

"A-At some point, " You started. "Did you ever see yourself having a great future with me?"

Tom paused for a second and thought about it. Did he? Sure, he loved you at some point and he cared about you. He didn't know when he stopped. But he knew that he still cared about you. You were his first real girlfriend.

"I, uh, honestly? Of course I did. We've been together for a year and a half and I loved you and cared about you. Please don't doubt that." Tom answered.

"Well, what does she have that I don't?" You questioned even though you wished he wouldn't answer it because it would hurt you.

"She's all the things you're not, Y/N." Tom said. "She's not too focused on her career. She's not too competitive and she doesn't sing show tunes all the fucking time."

You stayed quiet as tears streamed down your face. 'So that's what he thinks of me.' You thought to yourself.

"Look, Y/N. I'm really really sorry." Tom said through the phone as you cried your eyes out. "I loved you. I really did, but I don't love you anymore. There's someone-"

"There's someone else. I know. It's the cheer leading captain." You cried. "I get it, though. She has everything that I don't have and it makes sense how you'd go after a girl like her because both of you are perfect for each other. But just remember that there's one thing I can do that she can't."

"What's that?"

"She can't love you like I can. But you're willing to throw that away so goodbye, Thomas." You sniffed and wiped your tears away with your free hand.

"Bye, Y/N. Don't be a stra-"

You quickly hung up and cried. You hastily called Harrison and he went to your house as soon as he could with post-break up items. When he arrived, he ran straight to your room and you pulled him in for a hug.

"He's an asshole, I swear!" Harrison said as he pulled away and put the stuff he brought on your bed. You wiped your tears and looked at it, "What the hell is that?"

"It's a post-break up kit that I made." Harrison proudly said. "I know it's a little big than a usual kit but I don't know what else to call it. Inside, there's a bottle of wine, some popcorn, chips and a ton of flyers from different pizza places all stapled together for when you want to buy some pizza."

"That's so thoughtful of you." You chuckled. "What made you do this?"

"Well, my sister had her first ever heartbreak a few months back and as her older brother, it's my job to make sure she gets treated the way men should treat her. Then my cousin got heartbroken and I gave her a post-break up kit too. She told me it works." Harrison smiled. "You're my third customer, y'know. I refuse to let my favorite girl get heartbroken over some guy."

"Hey, he's not just some guy." You argued as you peeked inside the post-break up kit.

"Fine. He's not." Harrison said as he got the stapled flyers from the kit. "He may not be just some guy for you, but you're just some girl for him. I don't want my best friend to be just some girl. In fact, I don't want the girls in my life; my mum, my sister, my cousin, my niece when she grows up or who else, become just 'some girl' to some guy who can't appreciate what they have. All of you are special and you all deserve to feel special because all of you are amazing." He looked at you as you sat down on your bed. He sat next to you.

"I'm sorry if it sounded harsh, but you deserve the truth and the truth always hurts. I'm just keeping it real with you." He added.

You sighed, "I just- I miss being his, y'know? I miss being his girl, his everything and all that."

Harrison scoffed and shook his head, "In case you didn't know, you haven't been his girl ever since he started looking at what's-her-name's way. You haven't been his girl ever since he didn't walk you home. You haven't been his girl when he didn't pick you up after glee club meetings and you haven't been his girl when when started comparing her to you."

"You deserve better than that, Y/N. I know it's not my place to say anything at all, but you should've left him when he started slipping away because that's when it usually starts." Harrison said and suddenly the wall started to look interesting to him. "They start slipping away but you stay because you believe that they'll come to their senses and come back. But they don't. Then you blame yourself for not being good enough when they leave you. It's always like that. So, if you ever feel like someone's slipping away from you, just leave and make your life easier."

"I don't know what to say except you're right." You nodded. "Also, you're so dramatic." You chuckled as you looked at each other.

Harrison playfully rolled his eyes and smiled, "That's rich coming from the person who acts like everything is an Adele song."

"Speaking of Adele, I know what to sing for the glee club assignment." You said as you took out the bottle of wine from the kit Harrison gave you.

"And what song would that be?" Harrison asked.

"Someone Like You." You said as you stood up and walked out of your room to get two glasses for your wine.

When you left, Harrison said to himself, "Huh. Queen shit right there. I love that fucking song. Now, I don't know what to fucking sing for the assignment."

You came back in the room and Harrison said, "I'll order us pizza."

"Okay. Thanks." You smiled.

When Monday came, it was hard to look at Tom because he was with that girl he left you for. Lucky for you, Harrison was there and never left your side. When the time for glee club came, you told your teacher that you were ready to sing your song.

"I heard that you settled down, that you found a girl and you're married now." You sang beautifully and everyone was in awe. Especially Harrison. It was at that moment that he knew he liked you and that he'll do anything for you.

"Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead." You ended the song and smiled as everyone clapped. You went back to your seat next to Harrison and he smiled at you.

"You were great." Harrison grinned. "I think you'll do just fine without Tom."

You smiled at him and didn't say anything. Eventually, he was right. You were able to move on from Tom after two weeks of moping around for him. You realized you didn't want to waste your time in moping around for some guy who left you for someone else. Great stars became great stars when they were single.

Rumors. Rumors spread everywhere and they spread all the time. This week's theme of rumors were about new couples. Of course, Tom and that other girl were being talked about. They were the new 'it couple'. Rumors about you and Harrison dating were being surfaced. Of course, you didn't confirm nor deny them. No one should really care whether you two were together or not.

The truth was, you only went out on a couple of dates which you both enjoyed. You and Harrison weren't official yet, though. You were taking it slow.

On the flip side, Tom was bothered that you seemed to have forgotten all about him. He thought you would beg for him and he was kind of hurt that you didn't beg for him. It hurt his ego.

So when you were alone one day, Tom approached you when he saw you putting your things in your locker. "Hey Y/N." Tom smiled at you.

You looked at him and raised an eyebrow at him. It was weird that he spoke to you at all after the break up. He was the one who broke up with you over the phone and it confused you that he was talking to you. "Um, what do you want?" You asked.

"Ouch. Is that how you talk to the love of your life?" Tom put a hand on his chest, pretending to be hurt.

You rolled your eyes and closed your locker as you clutched your book tighter, "You haven't been the love of my life for, like, two weeks now. Get over yourself, Holland. If you're to ask help in studying, I won't help you. That's what your girlfriend is for. You told me that she's all the things I'm not. So, I assume that she's smarter than me."

Tom was about to talk when Harrison interrupted and looked between you and Tom, "What's going on here?"

You've never been more relieved in your life. You smiled at Harrison and shook your head, "Nothing important."

Harrison nodded and turned to you, "C'mon! I promised I'd take you out for lunch today."

You grinned, "Oh, right!"

"You'd love the place, I swear!" He offered his hand to you and you happily grabbed it.

"Bye, Thomas." You smiled politely before Harrison dragged you out of school. You laughed causing Harrison to laugh too.

Tom watched both of you leave the school premises and frowned. You've never rejected him before. He kind of always expected you to choose him all the time above all circumstances and he was surprised that you didn't. What did Harrison have that he didn't? He knew it was kind of silly to react this way, but he wasn't used to it. Right now, he hated Harrison for changing you. He never really had a problem with Harrison before, but right now Harrison was his enemy because he stole you away from him.

Tom had been acting weird around you lately and you wanted to file a restraining order, but Harrison said it was too much. At this point, you've been going out on dates with Harrison two months now. Both of you wanted to make it official, but both of you didn't know that.

"I'm sorry I can't attend glee club today and walk you home." Harrison said guiltily. You shook your head and said, "Haz, it's alright. Your family is important and tell Charlotte I said good luck."

Harrison smiled, "I will. Don't enjoy glee club too much without me."

"Trust me when I tell you that I won't enjoy it all without you. You make my glee club experience easier and more fun." You looked at him and tucked your hair behind your ear.

Harrison laughed and shook his head, "Oh, I could just kiss you right now!"

Your jaw dropped and his eyes widened in realization. You looked at each other and he spoke up, "Uh, forget I said anything."

"Did you mean it?" You asked. Harrison sighed and nodded. You smiled and said, "Kiss me, then."

"But I thought we were taking it slow? I don't want to force you in any-"

"Shut up and kiss me, Haz! We've been going on dates for two months now. I think it's time we make it official." You chuckled. "So if you want to kiss me so bad, go ahead, Osterfield. I dare you."

“Will you be my girlfriend?”

“Fuck yeah!”

He smirked and leaned in to place a sweet kiss on your lips. You kissed back and smiled through the kiss. Both of you pulled away and blushed.

"Okay, Charlotte will kill me if I'm late to watch her performance. I'll text you, okay?" Harrison held your hand and placed a kiss on it. "See you tomorrow!"

"Okay. Tell me all about it." You grinned as you watched him leave the school. You turned around to walk to the glee club's room and bumped into Tom.

"Where's your best friend? I don't see him around." Tom said as he put his hands in his pockets.

"My BOYFRIEND just left. He had to leave to watch his sister's performance at school." You told him and went around him to leave. Tom grabbed your wrist and you sighed, "What now, Thomas? Isn't Madison going to be jealous or something? I really don't have time for drama in my life."

"Leave Harrison. I want to be with you again." Tom blurted out and you laughed, "Sure, you do. Bye now." He let go of your wrist and you walked away and went to glee club.

It's been three days since that encounter with Tom and Harrison wasn't pleased with what happened. You assured him that you wouldn't leave him for Tom no matter what happens. You and Harrison have been rehearsing non-stop for sectionals with the rest of your glee club and today's the day that you'll perform.

All of you were backstage getting ready and Tom made his way to you. He huffed and he saw you kissing Harrison so he cleared his throat causing both of you to pull away. Harrison glared at Tom, but he didn't want to start a fight. He was better than that.

Harrison pecked your lips and said, "I'll check with Mike, okay?"

You smiled and nodded. He left and you looked at Tom with your arms crossed, "What're you doing here?"

"I'm here to see you perform. It's a big crowd out there." Tom chuckled as he handed you a bouquet of flowers. "These are for you."

You took them and set it on the vanity, "Thanks. You never came to any of my performances so why are you really here?"

"I came to watch you perform. I realized that I haven't really been supportive of you when we were dating and I wanted that to change. And if you liked New York so much, I'm willing to do long distance and I could visit you whenever I can." Tom explained.

"It's too late for that, don't you think?" You laughed. "Besides, we don't match. L.A. screams your name and New York screams mine. New York also screams Harrison's name and we already agreed that we'd move there together. You have Madison now and you're the one who broke up with me, Tom. Not the other way around."

"I know, but I'm leaving her for you. I'm planning to." Tom said.

"What the hell is your goal here? You came all this way to tell me this?" You asked. You were annoyed and kind of pissed. You just wanted to perform now, but the fifteen minute intermission was taking too long to end.

He shrugged, "Well, yeah. I know that once you leave him for me, you'll be all over me and we could be happy again. Then maybe I could convince you to move to L.A. instead of New York. Broadway is dead, anyway. You could audition for tv or movie roles and-"

"No, Tom!" You hissed. "Broadway is my calling. I've been preparing my whole life for Broadway and you can't take that away from me. If you want to move to L.A., that's on you. Don't drag me into it and I won't leave him for you. If leaving your partner for someone else is your cup of tea, then leave me out of it. I can't do that to Harrison. He's amazing and we're moving to New York together and that’s final."

"Show time, everyone!" a voice called out. You looked at Tom and said, "You're welcome to stay and watch, but don't bother me and Haz anymore. You don't get to do that after you've made up your mind on leaving me for Madison."

You walked to your glee club members and put on a smile. You refuse to let Tom's presence distract you. After all, you were performing with Harrison and you were finally getting the solo you deserved. It was your time to shine indeed. Nothing can ruin it for you.

Tom left and went back to his seat. As soon as he sat down, a familiar tune started to play and your clear and beautiful voice was heard in the whole venue. Tom was glad that his seat was on the third row from the stage and he was able to watch you properly. This was his first time seeing you perform and he wanted to make the most of it.

"Times have changed and we've often rewound the clock. Since the Puritans got a shock when they landed on Plymouth Rock." You sang as you stood on the center of the stage with your other glee club members still standing on the side of the stage, waiting for their cue to enter.

"If today," Your eyes met Tom and he gave you a smile and a small thumbs up. You stayed in character, though and paid no mind to him which he didn't take personally. The rest of the club marched on stage and went to their positions.

"Any shock they should try to stem 'stead of landing on Plymouth Rock, Plymouth Rock would land on them." You pointed at the audience with a smile.

You glanced at Harrison and you both shared a small smile before you looked back at the audience for all of you to sing, "In olden days, a glimpse of stocking was looked on as something shocking, but now, God knows... Anything goes!"

"Good authors, too, who once knew better words, now only use four letter words writing prose... Anything goes!" You sang and dance with Harrison as your partner, of course. As part of the choreography, you slightly pushed Harrison away and pointed at him, "Anything you can be, I can be greater. Sooner or later, I'm greater than you."

You stood at the side as everyone sang the "no, you're not" part while you sang the "yes, I am" part of the song. All of you danced beautifully when the instrumental part of the song came and everyone clapped and cheered. You were preparing yourself for the high note as everyone sang the ensemble part.

"I can hold any note longer than you." You sang as you walked to the center of the stage while everyone still danced behind you.

"No, you can't."

"Yes, I can. Yes, I..." You sang and held the note. You've been practicing it for weeks and you were glad that you pulled it off really well. Your voice was loud, clear, and powerful and it overpowered your fellow glee club members' voices.

You took a deep breath for the climax of the song, "Yes, I can!"

Tom was the first one to stand up and cheer as soon as the song ended. The rest of the audience followed. All of them sat down when all the girls left the stage for the boys to do their performance. You sneakily kissed Harrison on the cheek for good luck and Tom saw it and he was admittedly jealous. He couldn't believe that he thought leaving you for Madison was a good idea.

He wanted to leave then and there, but he wanted to see what you saw in Harrison that made you choose him. The music began and Tom sat comfortably on his seat.

"Boy, boy, crazy boy, Get cool, boy! Got a rocket in your pocket. Keep coolly cool, boy!" Harrison sang as he moved around on stage with the rest of the boys just standing behind him like they rehearsed.

"Don't get hot, 'Cause man, you got some high times ahead. Take it slow and Daddy-O," Harrison looked at Tom and continued, "You can live it up and die in bed!"

Tom glared at him as Harrison continued to sing and dance with the rest of the boys. "That bastard, I swear." Tom mumbled under his breath.

Harrison finished the song with a cool pose. Everyone clapped as Tom rolled his eyes. All the boys ran off the to the side of the stage.

"Good luck." Harrison whispered in your ear before you went out there. All of you girls went on stage to sing 'It's All Over' from Dream Girls. You didn't have the main solo for this one, but you still had a solo. You were singing Beyonce's lines and you were excited. Besides, this was your time to put your acting skills into use.

Mercedes, your main soloist for this song, was doing so well and you were really glad that she got the solo she deserved.

"She ain't better than anybody. She ain't nothing but common!" She sang. You got into character and walked towards her, "Now, who you callin' common you self-indulgent, self-absorbed and unprofessional?"

"You! I'm calling you, I'm calling you, the common piece is knocking off!" Mercedes sang with a raised eyebrow and walked past you. You turned around and walked after her, "Now you listen to me, Miss Blame-It-On-The-World; see I put up with you for much too long."

"I have put up with your bitchin'." You pushed her.

"I've put up with your naggin'." You pushed her again. "And all your screamin' too!"

After a few more lines, it was your solo again, "She had nothing to do with this change. It was you! It was you always thinking of you. Always thinking of you!"

When the song ended, the boys joined the rest of you as all of you formed one straight line on stage with you and Harrison in the middle which annoyed Tom so much, but he didn't react.

You and Harrison looked at each other before looking at the audience. Both of you started the song without music, "Do you hear the people sing lost in the valley of the night? It is the music of the people who are climbing to the light. For the wretched of the earth, there is a flame that never dies. Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise."

The music started and the rest joined in for the next lines. When all of you harmonized together, you could've sworn you saw someone crying on the first row.

"Tomorrow comes!" You all sang and it gave the audience goosebumps.

When your group was announced as the champion, you were really happy. Tom cheered too. He now understood why you loved glee club. He saw your passion for performing and you were right; New York was screaming your name. Broadway really was for you. He could picture you in two different places, on stage and in his arms. It was cheesy and probably corny, but it was true.

-

Today was the day you and Harrison were moving to New York and you were excited. Both of you got accepted into NYADA and you already bought an apartment together using both of your savings and with some additional help from both of your parents.

Tom knew you were leaving today that’s why he rushed to the airport to catch up with you. He looked around and saw you hugging your parents goodbye with Harrison next to you. He smiled to himself when he was able to get to you on time.

“Y/N!” Tom called out as he ran towards you.

You pulled away from your mom and furrowed your eyebrows when you saw Tom. Harrison wasn’t pleased to see him at all and you were tired of seeing Tom after he tried to get you back multiple times since sectionals.

“Tom, what’re you doing here? I’m leaving.” You frowned at him.

Harrison looked at your parents and his parents and said, “Um, let’s leave them to talk.” He gave you a small smile before walking away with your families. You sighed and crossed your arms as you stared at Tom.

“I know you’re leaving that’s why I’m here.” Tom said. “I wanted to tell you that I won’t stop until I get you back.”

“Tom, I’m with Harrison and I love him too much to leave him. We’ve already planned our future together and you’ll have that too, Tom. Just not with me.” You told him.

“Then I’ll move to New York too and- and I’ll look for jobs there and I’ll study there too. I just- I really, really want to be with you again.” Tom begged. “What do you want me to do?”

“Why are you doing this, anyway? You’ve been like this ever since Harrison and I started going out. What’s your deal?!” You said angrily. “Okay so, what if we got back together again and the same thing happens? I don’t want to go through that, Thomas.”

“It won’t happen again, I swear!”

“How do I know that? Because you said so?! Geez, how fucking assuring!” You scoffed.

“I thought I was the only one you loved. How come you love Harrison all of a sudden?” Tom said sadly.

You rubbed your face and sighed, “You’ll always have a special place in my heart, Tom Holland. Trust me. Maybe someday, we can be friends but not now; not when you’re fucking insane. You’re my first love, yes. First loves never really go away, but we do move on from them. I’d really want us to be friends, I really do. I want you and Haz to be friends too, but you’re making it difficult.”

Suddenly, it was announced that your flight was already boarding. You looked at Tom and held both of you hands, “On behalf of me and Harrison, I forgive you for all the times you tried to sabotage our relationship. If only you used all that energy in trying to be friends with me and Haz, then none of this wouldn’t happen and maybe I’d visit you in L.A.”

You pulled him in for a hug and Tom immediately hugged back tighter, “I’ll miss you, Y/N. I really will. I especially missed you when you weren’t with me.”

You lightly chuckled and pulled away, “No matter how much you claim to miss me, you can’t keep coming back to me whenever it’s convenient for you. Goodbye, Tom.”

Harrison walked towards both of you and he nodded at Tom, acknowledging his presence. You waved to your family before leaving with Harrison. Tom looked around and called out, “Hey Y/N!”

You looked at him and waited for him to say something.

“Don’t be a stranger!” Tom shouted and waved goodbye. You smiled at him and waved back. “I won’t!” You shouted back before you and Harrison boarded the plane.

“So, what did he say?” Harrison asked.

“We just said goodbye.” You responded. Harrison pursed his lips and nodded.

“Hey,” You grabbed Harrison’s hand and he looked at you. “I love you.”

He smiled, “I love you too. New York, here we come!”

You giggled as you went to your respective seats. You couldn’t wait to spend your time in New York with Harrison. Your dreams were finally coming true... with the right guy this time.

* * * *

𝐓𝐎𝐌 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @abrielleholland​​​​​​ @poguesholland​​​​​ @superheroesaremytea​​  @marshxx​​​ @ella-whyte @buckys-little-hoe @harryismysunflower

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @marvelousell​​​​​ @justasmisunderstoodasloki​​​ @rubberducky-jrr​​​ @petersholland​​​ @osterfieldnholland​​​ @miraclesoflove​​​ @god-knows-what-am-i-doing

+ @greenorangevioletgrass bc musicals x

[the-acid-pear]

Tumblr is ready to kick me in the nuts, so to avoid that, regulatory second post of this dumb liveblog! Let's go-

Chapter 211

Oh that's an insane coincidence

I'm gonna lose my fucking shit

Yujiro's fucked up anatomy is so fucking funny

He's just built different y'all let him be :/

I like how he's talking alone

Chapter 212

Erect 😳 (sorry I'm 5)

It's been so long since i saw someone open a bottle normally lol

Hehe hairy. Reminds me of Garland in a way, i miss him.

God i would fucking die out of embarrassment if i was on Retsu's place 😐

4001 🥺

Utterly obsessed with mfs being able to recognize the real ppl in this manga lmao

Chapter 213

I don't know if that's a real proverb but if Retsu says it I'll buy it

GOD I LOVE THIS MAN AUGH

Get his ass Retsu 😍

Chapter 214

What is a "rule"? 🤨

I keep forgetting he's missing a leg, están todos mochos estos protagonistas

Retsu be looking like a wet puppy all of the sudden mf went 🥺

Haha i wish i could squish an arm like that ☺️

This is so damn boxing like YESSS this is how every boxing movie goes so true!!! 😍

Which makes the dramatism funny bc we know Retsu can kill

OYDIRAITWOUROYE

Someone in the comments mentioned how if feels like reading with friends and honestly that's so true 🥰

Chapter 215

I love how he has some fans already

RIGHT THESE MFS FIGHT FOR NO ONE AND FOR NOTHING JUST FOR HONOR

Yeah no if a guy like that appeared irl i too would cheer for him

Retsu is having a crisis did he really not know this was all a farse? Like dude, c'mon.

Retsu got up in this ring ready to kill lmao

IYSITITSTSIIT nahhh i trust Retsu ~

"so hairy... but so elegant."

I just realized i got the song inexplicable stuck in my head bc that was the name of the chapter lol

Chapter 216

God i love Retsu so much i have so much hope placed on him

I think Retsu has one of the best character developments in this entire franchise (at least judging by so far)

YESSSSSS KINGGG 😍😍😍

Chapter 217

God i was looking like 👁️👁️ until i realized that was a mouthguard

I just came from the hospital and I'm a bit out of the loop lol

King shit i think I'm super out of it but that was badass i think

Jgzuggdlityfoh the drivers face 😭

I wonder what he will do with 2 million dollars tho

Chapter 218

Bruh his hair got cut by thin air

Did his hair get longer?

Baki really became a "well done, son!" guy

This conversation feels so fucking weird

Oh no one understands shit in the comments either, fair

Chapter 219

Yujiro legitimately surprised by kindness 😧

HE'S SO LEGITIMATELY SURPRISED, i mean considering how Baki had been since he's 13 it makes sense

I'm losing my fucking mind, yujiro i love you but i hate you

I like how most think this Yujiro is fake, i think he isn't <3

Someone called Yujiro autistic and i can't tell if they mean it literally or as an insult, like he IS a very picky guy who always wears the same clothes and has a mad low empathy... Murder is his special interest 🥰 /j

Chapter 220

I honestly feel happy for Baki, he's so euphoric over his dad hanging out with him lmao

I miss Kureha's bangs :/

Tokugawa please stop killing urself

Obsessed this man will literally die, unironically wondering why Itagaki would do that

Mfs speaking shit of Retsu's boxer arc... Stfu it's so fun :/

Chapter 221

Isn't 36 a big number for a boxer?

I really wonder what Retsu wants the money for, dude doesn't live a wild life, he doesn't often drink, he doesn't fuck, he doesn't do drugs...

KWHWKDHSUS THE FIRST TIME SOMEONE ACKNOWLEDGES THESE MEN'S GAY ASSES

ALI SR!?

Kinda sweet how he's doing this for Baki i guess

There is a guy defending Retsu with teeth and nail n like all true bestie <3

Chapter 222

Tf is that foot? Who owns it?

OOOOH SHIBA!!! MY BELOVED 🥺

Shiba against Baki?! Iit surely can't be, he must just be taking him to Hanayama, right?

TF SHIBA? YOU KNOW NOT EVEN YOUR BOSS CAN WIN AGAINST HIM!

GET HIS ASS RETSU PLEASE

Chapter 223

We are all wondering the same, Baki <:/

Yeah it is kinda badass

Shiba please, at least Baki won't kill him so it's ok but STILL BRO PLS-

Rip Retsu 😔💔

Chapter 224

Slender?! Bro this mf mad buff

I'm so obsessed with this like Shiba didn't show up in how many chapters then randomly decides to fight Baki. Also, Hanayama is gonna die of cirrhosis :/

WITH OPEN HAND TO THE CHIN...

Chapter 225

I wonder how this will affect Shiba

Crying and shaking Retsu get up 😭

Retsu i love your monologue and analysis but you are sort of in a fight?

Holy fuck Retsu is tripping balls

Chapter 226

Shiba please

>:<

OHDIRSISTDOYHD BAKI JUST WANTS TO CHILL PLEASEEE

FUCKING BITCH SLAPPED

A gentler devil... I like that

IYDOYDITSUSITURSDUT

On god is this how Yujiro feels? Thought tbf Yujiro used to make ppl hate him on purpose ;/

Chapter 227

"i will teach you something" *breaks your jaw*

Obsessed with who i assume is young Kaku btw

SPIN?

Chapter 228

Dude the shoes :/

Aw he's so nice ☺️

"that last panel looking like he bout to drop some beats but knowing the situation he's going to ve dropping a body"

Chapter 229

Poor coach lmao

He DID move lol

OBSESSED HE'S SPINNING ON HIS PEG LEG 😭

Retsu don't lose 😢

Chapter 230

"what did he get???" OUFOOYDOTSUEAIRW 😭😭😭

Shiba... Baby, you will die.

I love how nicely he's taking it lmao

This is LITERALLY Katsumi vs Doyle

SOMEONE ELSE MENTIONED IT LMAO

Anyways good luck on Shiba and wanting to taste defeat

Reality is my phone reset on its own and i lost the last 4 chapters but that's fine, i need to take a nap anyway

[tfw-no-tennis]

huntoxhunto

we watched 2 whole more eps but we’re abt to vacay so i better recap this biz now before i forget

ok so we finished the zoldyck arc and uhhhh gotta say we werent expecting like any of that to happen lol 

ok ill back up so we start w/killuas mom (i dont think we ever heard her name) confronting gon & co....and canary (i lov her) is not dead which i assumed but thank goodness. 

zoldyck mom was totally using nen. also she is off her rocker gotta say. tho that visor is super cool, albeit confusing - is it connected to a bunch of security cameras or something? how does she see all that shit? 

granpa is wild. his tunic thing that says ‘one kill a day’ or w/e is kinda hilarious, it reminds me of the ‘apple a day keeps the dr away’ saying...a murder a day keeps the....idk away????

i love that killua makes it abundantly clear that he couldve like escaped at any time lol. also tho why didnt he just escape....baby boy just leave 

killua getting all serious and threatening milluki if he messes with gon....my boys got it BAD 

this family has so many communication issues hvbjadkfbjaskdfj nobody is on the same page at all 

the butler guy continued to remind me of kuro one piece this whole time...i was waiting for him to bust out the ridiculous cat claws

oh my GOD wait the flashbacks of EVEN BABIER KILLUA were so precious ;_; he was soooo tiny and cute oh my god. so precious. and canary was also so tiny and cute 

baby killua really just wanted a friend :(((( and canary wanted to be friends w/him but knew that mom zoldyck would kill her if she overstepped like that :( thats so tragic mannnn

also canary is so cool man. her beating up all those guys was epic

ok that whole scene with killua and his dad was like, such a rollercoaster lmao

like....it was all over the place for me...first of all the ambiance was wack, the room lighting was weird and im p sure killuas seat was an electric chair??? and the dad was in a coffin thing..???? like....interesting aesthetic choices all over the place here 

also i see now where killua got his hair and also his catboy tendencies. the zoldyck catboy genes seem to trace back to zoldyck dad, who has kinda scary cat eyes 

also im guessing that the dad is the blood zoldyck and the mom is the one who married in. they sure seem to put a lot of emphasis on like, family legacy or w/e, but the two parents certainty go abt it in different ways 

the whole convo b/w killua and his dad was wild, it totally didnt go where i was expecting it to. his dad was weirdly chill while also being super intense? 

killua happily telling stories abt gon was so sweet....baby boy baby 

and his dad telling him ‘never betray your friends’ was rlly interesting...i wonder what his reasons were for saying that 

cause then he tells killua he can leave, and killua does, but then dad zoldyck tells mom zoldyck (i rlly need to find out their names) that he thinks killua will come back on his own time....inch resting 

i wonder if dad zoldyck made killua promise that bc he was trying to set killua up for failure - as in, he tells killua to never betray his friends, thinking that killua inevitably will & be distraught abt it, and then turn back to the zoldyck family when this happens. idk

also its interesting to me that zoldyck dad wants killua to lead the family someday. like, illumi is right there, hes the oldest and clearly dedicated to being an evil assassin, and he seems p good at it...i wonder why killua is the favorite....the grandpa (i think) did say that killua is Special(tm) which...yes he is a special baby boy i love him. i wanna see more zoldyck family flashbacks/interactions so we can see what led them to this point 

oh lord that reminds me of illumi briefly appearing in the killua flashback and hes just like, suddenly there, wearing some gay ass sweater....like ok dude did you just come back from the Evil Assassin Library or st?????

that reminds me too, ruth tells me that apparently in the manga illumi and hisoka got married or something???? to which i say, thats fucking wild, but also it makes sense, those two are both horrible and disgusting and they absolutely deserve each other hbvajvhsdfjbak peak evil nasty gay rep, i love it. i cant wait to see whatever the fuck the context to that is bc, thats fucking wild

ok back to the plot so like its so wild to me how smoothly everything went hvubsjduhfbjsh like....killuas dad was rlly like ok u can leave and killua just went to the butler house and then canary woke up and was like ok gon & crew lets go to the butler house to see killua, fuck the rules, (and she didnt even get killed for ‘disobedience’ or w/e, or more likely - in most big shounen, she wouldve been attacked by the other evil butlers and gon wouldve had to fight them)

killua Rlly was like fuck this place im leaving my boyfriend and his parents are here to pick me up [puts on gayest outfit he owns and skateboards away] hvbhsjdfbjdkf

i love killuas weird gay preteen fashion so far and i cant wait to see more 

killua telling the butler guy to let him know as SOON as gon gets there cause he wants to see him AS SOON AS HE CAN ;_; bro they r....in love 

of course the butler is trickey tho lmao, any other shounen this wouldve turned into an 8 ep long fight scene sequence where gon has to fight the butlers in order to see killua 

and the of course gon is the same way, gon is like i need to see killua RIGHT NOW take me to him!!! ohhh my god babies

the whole coin game was wild, it was funny when the other butlers got involved too lmao 

when gon was like ‘hey leorio can i see your knife’ i was like OH NO I DONT LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING. and i was right bc OWWWWW baby boy oh my god!!!! but that seems to have solved it even tho thats NOT how swelling works at ALL- 

anyways gon is a cute smart good boy and i also find it funny how killua eventually gets impatient and just busts in on this whole dramatic situation (and the tension immediately deescalates as a result lmao) 

tangent but god its so funny seeing all these butler guys deferring to killua, an actual 12 yr old....i wanna see the hilarious and hijink-filled results of killua being raised as a rich spoiled assassin prince. thats a lethal combo thats gotta result in some wildly skewed perceptions on how things work, especially paired with gon ‘probably eats dirt for fun and sleeps in trees’ freecess 

godddd gon and killuas lil reunion is SOOO cute they were so happy to see each other ;_; bro they are SO cuteeeee augh. two tiny babies

killua being like oh hi also uh kurapika andddd [looks at smudged writing on hand] lorpo 

hvhhbajfbs dont do my man leorio like that killua hes a hardworking father 

the fact that they just like. LEAVE...thats so wild. i cant believe how little fighting this arc had. this all wrapped up SO much faster than i could have ever anticipated lmao 

where the heck was alluka!? i assumed she’d show up here but uhhhh guess not......in the silhouette shot of all the zoldycks she and killua were holding hands ;_; my fucking uwus bro 

we also didnt see the grandma or great grandpa so im guessing theyll appear later 

gon being like fuck it im not using my hunters license til i punch hisoka in the fucking face hvbhahsfbjsk thats hilarious 

also a convenient way to let him have his hunters license but not utilize it til later in the story...its so early for him to have achieved that big chunk of his goal, which just shows that hxh is Not your typical shounen and isnt gonna just be centered around gons quest to become a hunter 

so we finally found out what hisoka said to kurapika....just as i thought, it was st to do w/the phantom troupe. so theres a handy setup for the yorknew city arc later. bam 

hisoka just being like ‘hey meet me in this (presumably) very large city on this date. no i will not tell you where in the city to meet me. bye seeya there’ 

tbf hisoka is very hard to miss 

god when they arrive and kurapika is just like ok well we got killua so im out lol bye everyone....bro hvbjkhgbfjhdksfhjk that felt so abrupt 

and then leorio was like oh yeah same i gotta go study time to take the fantasy MCAT or w/e

AND THEY BOTH LEFT....now gon and killua r chilling but im like oh my god no leorio kurapika come back, we need some (questionable) adult supervision over here 

and like immediately killua is like ok gon do you have money. and of Course gon doesnt have money. so killua is like well you need money and you need to train so you can deck hisoka, so lets go to a fantasy version of an underground fighting ring! this is why kurapika and leorio needed to stay 

tho they probably wouldve just gone along with it 

they did all promise to meet in yorknew city, but thats apparently like 6 months away. are gon and killua rlly gonna spend 6 months at heavens arena

the part where killua draws the diagram demonstrating how much of a n00b gon is....hvbajdkhfbhajskf

AND THEN when he drew himself into the diagram and was like :3c wow im so modest HBJHSKHDFHBJS that was so funny

it was like that post thats like ‘you can tell when a cats pupils change and they just shift into Silly Mode’ thats what killua looked like...catboy

so thats basically it i think, gon and killua are heading to heavens arena to join fight club or whatever. tournament arc time! 

PREDICTION CORNER: 

i doubt this is the last weve seen of the zoldyck family. i mean we havent even met 3 of them, and we barely saw the ones we did meet...idk when theyll come back but i suspect theyll be making some big money moves later on and fucking shit up somehow 

i think maybe illumi or someone will like, spy on killua sometimes to keep track of him. or theyll track him by other means

ill use the prediction corner to reflect on incorrect predictions so heres a few. i rlly thot killua was gonna be more edgy than he is but hes rlly just a good boy huh. like hes a gay baby assassin catboy but hes so cute and good too. he just wants to live his life and hang out with his tiny bf like... omg :’) 

also i thot hisoka held a totally different narrative role lbvahkfjhjjaksfl i thot he was like main villain guy....hes more like an annoying creepy clown dude who (probably) shows up a lot to bother the main cast. we’ll see, but thats what i think of him now

like i thought hisoka would be like p1 dio, where hed be/quickly become a powerful antagonist who would amass a bunch of followers/minions (when actually the only person he seems to hang out w/is illumi, and theyre more like equals than an evil guy/minion dynamic)...or like i thought hisoka would be very well known as a scary evil guy but nope he was just another participant in the hunter exam, albeit a weird freaky one whose rancid vibes everyone seemed to pick up on 

anyways actual predictions, i think hisoka is gonna be at heavens arena, which would be super funny. gon is like im gonna train to beat hisoka and he shows up to do that and hisokas just there like >;) hey

i think if i had to guess, the zoldycks will show up again (in a plot important way) at the end of the yorknew arc/before the greed island arc. i know basically nothing abt any of the arcs but i do know the order they go in so theres that

i do think illumi will show up earlier than the other zoldycks tho, since he seems to be out doing his own thing more than the rest. also we still really havent resolved the whole mind control thing that im still convinced of 

i think nen will finally be introduced/alluded to heavily in this arc...or like, characters will use nen and gon will be like whoa whats that 

i think killua knows what nen is...maybe? it would make sense since im sure all the zoldycks can use it (at least, we saw mom zoldyck use it, probably)

can killua use nen already? that would be pretty funny. i dont think so tho. maybe u learn nen at a certain age. i have no idea what nen is 

also isnt gons nen power the power to like, turn into a really buff version of himself or something. how the fuck does that work 

ok enough nonsense its bedtime zzzzz

[nerdhorde]

🌻 questions tag 🌻

I was tagged by the lovely @fsstudies to answer all of these questions. Thank you very much! I shall attempt to make myself look interesting, haha. 

I tag @affinityscience @hayley-studies @my-little-studyblr @georgestudies @raven-studies. I don’t talk to very many people on here so you have been chosen at random (mostly). If you don’t wanna do it, then ofc that’s chill. I also tag anyone who sees this n kind of fancies doing it. Go wild, kiddo. 

LAST:

1. Drink: water, and before that, tea. 

2. Phone call: probably my best friend

3. Text message: well, the last time I messaged someone was on facebook (my friend from uni), but the last time I properly texted someone it was probably my best friend, again.

4. Song you listened to: la devotee - p!atd

5. Time you cried: watching a film. I can’t for the life of me remember what it was. I cry a lot, tbf. 

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: no 

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: I don’t think I regret any of them, no. Well, I’ve kissed someone and regretted it months later if that counts. 

8. Been cheated on: nope

9. Lost someone special: yes

10. Been depressed: yes, I suppose so. 

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: yes. All of the time. My stomach is very bad at handling alcohol, so tactical chunders are usually the way to go. I’ve never been absolutely plastered though, and vomiting not by choice; I’ve usually always chosen when I’m going to throw up (usually to make myself feel better/avoid a hangover). 

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. Black

13. Blue

14. Grey

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: yes, I started university last September so I made a fair few. 

16. Fallen out of love: not in the romantic sense, no. 

17. Laughed until you cried: yes, a week ago, actually. 

18. Found out someone was talking about you: oh lord, yes, haha. It’s been the cause of all my problems, this past month or so. 

19. Met someone who changed you: no.

20. Found out who your friends are: most bloody definitely!

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: yes, I think I did. I regret it now, haha. 

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: The vast majority of them I’d say. Most of them are people I went to school with, and if I didn’t go to school with them, they’re people I’ve met drunk on a night out. There’s only a handful on there who I’ve not met. 

23. Do you have any pets: yes, we have a black labrador, called Breeze. 

24. Do you want to change your name: I’ve never really been fond of my name, it was very popular the year I was born so I always find a lot of people my age called Sophie. If I were to change my name I’d change my last name. I’d make up something completely new so I wasn’t associated with either side of my family. 

25. What did you do for your last birthday: I went to see Morrissey live in Manchester with my best friend, that was a brilliant weekend, one of the best experiences of my life. And with my family I think we went out for a meal? It was so long ago now I can’t even remember properly, haha. 

26. What time did you wake up: today it was 6am, because I’ve got to travel 180 miles North to move some of my stuff in to my new uni house. Usually I’m very bad at getting out of bed before midday, but if I’ve got stuff to do I can wake up any time.

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Probably watching old Whose Line Is It Anyway  episodes. The UK ones, of course. 

28. Name something you can’t wait for: going back to university in September, though I’m going to miss my best friend desperately. 

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: I saw her 8 hours ago, I think? Just before she went to bed. 

30. What is the one thing you wish you could change in your life: my anxiety (lol, #deep). Deep down I know I’m supposed to be a very extroverted person, but it prevents me from being that. 

31. What are you listening to right now: other than the noisy sodding birds outside my window? Nothing, lmao. 

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yes? I knew two guys called Tom in middle school. 

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: probably one of my ex-friends (that sounds dramatic af). She’s been very irritating recently and I wish she’d just stop being such a child and leave me the hell alone. 

34. Most visited websites: twitter, facebook, tumblr, youtube. The usual suspects, haha. 

35. Mole/s: yes. Lots. According to my mum they’re a sign of strength. That might well be bollocks, but who knows. 

36. Mark/s: I’ve got a scar on my right eyebrow from when I ran into the corner of a wooden table as a child. I used to get called “Sophie Potter”, Lords knows why cos it ain’t bloody lightning shaped. 

37. Childhood dream: when I was 5, probably just owning a tractor would be enough for me (a Ford one, because they’re blue); when I got a bit older I wanted to be an author, or an illustrator, or an author who illustrated her own books. 

38. Hair color: brown

39. Long or short hair: long. I only had it cut for the first time in 2 years a few months ago. It was ridiculously long then. 

40. Do you have a crush on someone: no, not a crush. That’s the wrong word.

41. What do you like about yourself: I actually quite like my appearance nowadays. I’m very proud of my intelligence, my knowledge of useless facts, my sarcasm, how funny I can be, and my art.

42. Piercings: ear lobes and my nose. I’d love to get more done. 

43. Blood type: I have absolutely no idea, not even my own mother knows. 

44. Nickname: I don’t have one. Some people have attempted to call me “Soph” in the past and I’ve quickly shot them down, only my dad gets to call me that and even then I don’t like it, haha. Occasionally I’ve been called by my last name, and some jokes have been made out of my last name but nothing’s ever really stuck. 

45. Relationship status: single… as a pringle..?

46. Zodiac: I don’t know much about this. I know I’m a Leo… 

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favorite TV show: Doctor Who, TLOG, anything Reece Shearsmith & Steve Pemberton write, Green Wing (recently), House, Lie To Me… There’s loads more but I can’t list them all, I’d be here all day. 

49. Tattoos: I have a tattoo of some planets and stars over a mountain on my inside left wrist. I got it about a year ago. I want lots more!

50. Right or left hand: Right. Though weirdly I started out life left-handed and then switched of my own accord when I was about 5. Unfortunately that doesn’t make me ambidextrous though, dammit. 

51. Surgery: twice. Had my tonsils removed as a kid, and then I used to be tongue-tied so I had to have that sorted a few years after. 

52. Hair dyed in different colour: not yet. I’m planning on it soon though, my hair’s a little drab at the moment. 

53. Sport: I used to love football (soccer) as a kid and I was fairly good at it, mostly because I was vicious, and at school I was on various sports teams but nowadays I rarely do any. 

54. blackpink in your area???? I’ve no idea what this means, so I’m gonna skim past it. 

55. Vacation: as a family we’ve been to Greece together (Kos, specifically) and it was wonderful, and we’ve been caravanning on the coast a few times. We haven’t been on holiday in years, but we’re all going to Jersey next month, unfortunately for some not good reasons. 

56. Pair of trainers: two pairs of grey converse, one very new, one very tatty. And a pair of grey generic trainers for the gym (I like grey, apparently)

MORE GENERAL

57. Eating: mashed potato, gravy, pie, cheesy chips, my mum’s roast dinners, my grandma’s baking. 

58. Drinking: tea, always. I bloody love tea, not that I’m upholding a national stereotype there, but oh well. Wine is lovely, but vodka is my absolute favourite when it comes to alcohol. Or gin, though I can’t handle it very well. Tequila shots, yes, jaeger bombs, always. 

59. I’m about to: get dressed and go to my grandma’s for an hour before we drive up North to my new house

60. (there is no 60, this is odd)

61. Waiting for: my exam to be over (it’s on Tuesday, send help). 

62. Want: to be at the pub with my friends, and a night out at Welly (the best club ever, pop punk and indie trash on a loop).

63. Get married: I doubt it. I’m not interested in marriage really. 

64. Career: my dream career would be artist. Quite possibly a portrait artist. But I know that’s not exactly a safe bet, so I’ll save that until I’m financially stable. I’m doing a chemistry degree at the moment, so I suppose I’ll get a job using that. In research, maybe. 

65. Hugs or kisses: depends on the person. Hugs from everyone. Kisses are also wonderful too, though. 

66. Lips or eyes: eyes. 

67. Shorter or taller: neither. I’m tall compared to most of my friends, but not too tall that I can’t get away with wearing heels, so I’ll stick to where I’m at, cheers. 

68. Older or younger: younger I think. I miss being so carefree. 

(dammit why is there no 69 ffs)

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: on me? Stomach probably. But both I think. My arms are odd, I’d like to edit them a little. 

71. Sensitive or loud: both. Loud, naturally, I think. Sensitive not entirely out of choice. 

72. Hook up or relationship: hook up. I think I have commitment issues, I couldn’t be in a relationship with someone. 

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: depends. Mostly troublemaker. If I’m hesitant it’s only usually for a few seconds before I go “fuck it” and do it anyway. 

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: yes. Many a time. 

75. Drank hard liquor: yes. It’s lovely. 

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses:  nope, never, thank god. Let’s hope this continues. 

77. Turned someone down: yes, very gently. 

78. Sex on the first date:  I don’t think you could call it a date, but I’ve had sex with someone the first night I’ve met them? If that counts?

79. Broken someone’s heart: I don’t think so, no. Not that I’m aware of anyway.

80. Had your heart broken: no.

81. Been arrested: never. 

82. Cried when someone died: yes, of course. 

83. Fallen for a friend: no. Not really. I had a brief crush on a friend, but it didn’t last. 

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: sometimes yes, sometimes no. I can be very arrogant depending on my mood, so in those moments I do, yes. In the more anxious ones, definitely not. 

85. Miracles: no way

86. Love at first sight: no, I think it’s unrealistic. Lust at first sight, certainly, but not love. 

87. Santa Claus: hahah wait why is this even up for debate?? Duh. 

88. Kiss on the first date:  yeah, sure, why not, if I liked the person enough I certainly wouldn’t be averse to it. 

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: Amy

91. Eye color: brown

91. Favorite movie: reservoir dogs, pulp fiction, anything tarantino, leon: the professional, so many of them

[comicteaparty]

January 24th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on January 24th, 2019, from 5PM - 7PM PST.  The chat focused on Pike’s Reach by Mabs.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB START!

Good evening, everyone~! This week’s Thursday Book Club is officially beginning! Today we are discussing Pike’s Reach by Mabs~! (https://tapas.io/series/pikesreach)

Remember that Thursday discussions are completely freeform! However, every 30 minutes I will drop in OPTIONAL discussion questions in case you’d like a bit of a prompt. If you miss out on one of these prompts, you can find them pinned for the chat’s duration. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is fun and respectfully appreciating the comic. All that said, let’s begin!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

Superjustinbros

Hello!!

RebelVampire

hey super~!

my favorite scene is probably the fight with ezo and nefayn. largely because of https://tapas.io/episode/1179545 this page. i really just like the first few panels illustration wise cause even though theyre simplistic, i kind of feel like they convey this ominous sense of defeaning silence that is appropriate for conveying tension right after something climatic happens

Superjustinbros

https://tapas.io/episode/1234181

RebelVampire

yes there is also that scene. XD which was some good comic relief considering the comic was being very dramatic at the time.

also a good lesson about making sure someone gives permission

instead of just knocking and opening the door

Superjustinbros

yes

Because naked people

RebelVampire

another comical scene i enjoyed was the where they were showing off their drawings of pella's uncle. https://tapas.io/episode/962506 because man are those some not great drawings. especially that left one scares me

Superjustinbros

Oh my god

RebelVampire

another moment i liked, which isnt a scene but more a scene transition you could say, is when the comic switches from adelaide goofing around and then suddenly the warning bell rings.

https://tapas.io/episode/604008

in particular that page

i really love the shots and especially the ominous overtone the first panel has

cause it really helps visually convey the serious has come

Superjustinbros

I love the art style and general color scheme, lots of pinks and purples

mathtans

Made it, though I may not be mentally all here, today's been crazy.

Superjustinbros

hey Math

mathtans

One of my faves was actually to start Chapter 3, when we looked at the "villains" and the main guy was talking about how he didn't want them dead, more turned to his side. I liked the humanizing aspect of the antagonists.

Superjustinbros

Same

mathtans

Too often we just see things kind of one sided. This didn't go that way.

Superjustinbros

Villains that do more than just want the main character(s) dead are always good

mathtans

As far as comedy goes, I liked the brief scene where Adelaide "winked"... maybe... because she could have been blinking and her hair was in the way.

Though I also liked the "cold feet" bit where Nefayn was laughing and Nassar didn't know. In particular it was sort of called back later when he was thrilled that she liked his jokes.

RebelVampire

yeah i really enjoyed that moment with the antagonists. also partially cause i like it being explained why they dont just crush the army cause adelaide is already being silly meeting them on an open field and not using the fort's defenses as was intended

mathtans

Little one's fussing.(edited)

Superjustinbros

Rebel gets it

RebelVampire

but yeah i liked this humanizing affect too of course. because conflicts of territory are rarely straight forward evil guy wants to rule over all the things

Superjustinbros

^

RebelVampire

that and selfishly i really wanted to like pella and that scene proved to me that it was okay to like him cause hes just a goofy sparkly dude just trying to unite the lands.

Superjustinbros

heehee~

Mabs

Hi there! I'm Mabs and the creator of Pike's Reach! I can't stay for too long because sudden school stuff came up, but I wanted to say THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH for reading PR! Your comments are making me really happy ;w;

Superjustinbros

Hi!!!

RebelVampire

QUESTION 2. Unfortunately for Nefayn, she is cursed twice over both in body and magic. Who do you think cursed her with the first seal and for what reason? Could the culprit be Ezo considering she and Pella seemed to know Nefayn? Why was said culprit pursuing her? In other words, what are their long-term goals in using her? How powerful do you think Nefayn was before the first seal came to be? Now that Nefayn is sealed twice over to be all but human, how will this affect her helpfulness in a battle? Do you believe that Nefayn will be able to undo the seals eventually and return herself to her original form and power? If so, how might this affect her growing relationship with Adelaide?

glad you could stop by, mabs~!

im torn on the culprit issue. on the one hand ezo seems likely cause from her characterization that seems like something shed do. but on the other hand their army is kind of near the end of their campaign since pike's reach is the last one standing and they dont want to murder hobo them. so idk why theyd need nefayn. i kind of like to think theres something bigger gonna show up and pella and adelaide are gonna join forces to defeat it. and that whatever the it is is what's after nefayn. but that could be wishful thinking cause i always cheer for antagonist protagonist team ups when both are basically good dudes with different goals

mathtans

(I swear, my life after 8pm is running back and forth to my little daughter's room.)

RebelVampire

as for goals, maybe using her as a magic conduit. cause thats the only thing i can think of.

mathtans

I get what you were saying about the climactic magic fight scene earlier btw. Just I've never been huge on drama, you know me. ^.^

Superjustinbros

perhaps

also lol math

mathtans

Oh, hi Mabs! I ship everyone!

Superjustinbros

lol

Mabs

Hi there! Yes good, please ship all the characters.

Superjustinbros

Will do~

especially this page https://tapas.io/episode/1221349

mathtans

I wonder if Nefayn was originally that uncle that the General was talking about. Except that would destroy the best ship, so I'm not sure I like that possiblity.

RebelVampire

if were shipping all the ships i now accept https://tapas.io/episode/1077847 this page as canon

mathtans

Yeah, I don't know that it's Ezo. There was also that scene where Nefayn said she thought the big Pike's room seemed familiar, so I feel like she was a citizen of the place somehow.

A teamup would be pretty cool between the two groups. Maybe the West has been getting more organized than they realize, there was some mention of the latest attack being more of a ruse.

Hah. That was a funny one.

Part of me actually ships Ezo and Nefayn, in that sort of 'mortal enemies become friends' kind of deal. So I guess Adelaide ends up with the General's second in command? This was probably heresy to propose.

RebelVampire

idk. shooting someone in the chest seems like a romance deal breaker there XD

Superjustinbros

all ships set sail here

mathtans

It was an arrow of love and respect. Deep down. After all, it didn't kill her.

RebelVampire

but yeah the west could certainly become a threat. or even just one person in the west. like maybe one nation got themselves some guns and are bringing their guns to all the sword fights

mathtans

("It was worse than death, I was made human.")

RebelVampire

LOL

mathtans

As long as they don't bring the gunpowder, it's fine.

RebelVampire

Ezo wanted to make Nefayn human cause she too supports the adelaide/nefayn ship

it was the plan all along

mathtans

Actually, it's not a bad plan. Good way to make the enemy commander very distracted.

RebelVampire

and tbf it does probably take nefayn out of the battle a bit. cause being human has its mortal perils.

mathtans

Here's a possibly related question, who keeps sending the evil things to attack Adelaide? Which makes her sleep with a sword? I don't think it's the general, he seems honourable enough to keep his distance after losing, at least for a while. Maybe it's the same person who did the thing to Nefayn.

Flying is more of a problem for humans.

RebelVampire

i just assumed the magic things showed up of their own accord.

although

pella and ezo dont seem to be plagued by birds

so maybe someone is sending them

or adelaide is special and theyre super attracted to her

mathtans

Right.

Everyone's super attracted to the heroine.

RebelVampire

XD

this is an interesting line of thought

cause i definitey doubt it's pella

cause the impression i got is that this has plagued adelaide for much longer than pike's reach has been under siege

since the sword thing is usually the sign of a long term habit

mathtans

I wonder if maybe the charm that was mentioned as something to keep her safe is actually attracting all the problems. Though it'd need to be something fairies can't pick up on.

Superjustinbros

@mathtans must be one really sexy heroine

RebelVampire

these are some good catches math. i really didnt pay much mind to any of these mentions. that could be though. and tbf nefayn's powers were already partly sealed from the get go so i wouldnt be surprised if shes missing out on some magic things

mathtans

Thanks. ^^ I guess it just struck me as interesting that she's got the sleep issues, and no one else seemed to.

I was wondering if one of Nefayn's powers was to grow big.

RebelVampire

maybe. although i keep thinking its gonna wind up shes a goddess or something O_O

not a fairy sized goddess mind you cause she does mention that fairy form is not her original size

although to the stuff b4 that brings up an interesting point about how much can the magic world interact with the non-magic. cause obviously adelaide being able to see magic and stuff makes her able to interact with it. but how aware does a non magic person have to be before magic stuff can affect them

mathtans

Goddess of sparkles.

RebelVampire

like obviously the others cant see nefayn

but can nefayn like punch them

and theyll be like "oww what a random pain"

mathtans

Well, since magic mines could influence people, I imagine if you make the effect large enough, it'd register.

What if Nefayn caresses?

(I mean, kinda moot now, but still.)

RebelVampire

yeah the magic mines worked. cause if the magic can affect the non magic regardless of their ability to see it, it adds evidence to the idea those birds are super out to get adelaide specifically

QUESTION 3. Magic seems to be at the center of several other mysteries that are presented in the comic. What is Pike’s Reach’s past with magic regarding the mention of a catastrophe involving it? Is Pella onto something about everyone being Adelaide’s age? What might this have to do with the previous lord of Pike’s Reach and Adelaide becoming its lord? How might any of this relate to the fact that Nefayn appears to recall being at Pike’s Reach for a brief moment? There is also the issue of Pella’s missing uncle. What do you think happened to his uncle? How might Pella’s uncle be related to past or present events that occurred in Pike’s Reach? Lastly, will Pella ever discover the truth about his uncle?(edited)

Superjustinbros

That's a cool skill imo

mathtans

Oh yeah, my memory had kind of glossed over that whole catastrophe thing. And the age thing too. Hm, really good points. Maybe they don't physically age in Pike's? Like, they're actually 60, but have the bodies of people much younger?

Again, suspected the uncle might be Nefayn, but that sinks the ship.

Superjustinbros

lol

RebelVampire

if the uncle isnt adelaide's father i will be so surprised

mathtans

Oh! Maybe the uncle is the one who cursed Nefayn.

I wondered about that. If the seeing magic lineage was a direct ancestry. But it might make sense for the uncle to be the one attacking Adelaide too.

RebelVampire

https://tapas.io/episode/970094

like legit look at that family resemblence

https://tapas.io/episode/822837 and pella and adelaide have the same eye color too

and theres no reason it cant be both

adelaide's father and the real antagonist

mathtans

Valid arguments. Maybe it's a red herring though. (Or a red pike! Hah!)

RebelVampire

id even peg him for the causer of this supposed catastrophe. not on purpose. but he vanished and hes after nefayn to try and fix his mistakes.

mathtans

Or maybe he's dead, and he left behind the ultimate weapon to use in case of dire magic circumstances, down in the catacombs.

Or maybe he's undead. He's a necromancer.

Superjustinbros

Could be that now that you mention it

mathtans

As Nassar would say, a very grave matter.

RebelVampire

the charm is the key and thats why the birds are after adelaide. they want that ultimate weapon

birds love ultimate weapons

alternatively he couldve been the one to stop the catastrophe from becoming worse too

mathtans

Adelaide's love is the ultimate weapon.

RebelVampire

cause the fact the catastrophe only took out the elderly or so is implied makes that a very targetted attack. and him being the savior makes sense for why everyone made adelaide the lord.

mathtans

Ah, right, I guess I was still on the "elderly look young" track not the "elderly died" track.

Maybe they were all turned into fairies instead.

Maybe the uncle was turned into a pike.

RebelVampire

or everyone was

theyre all pikes

in the nearby lake

the place was previously called nefayn's love nest, but they renamed it to pike's reach cause theyre always trying to reach those pike

mathtans

spit-take

Lovely vacation spot it is either way.

Mabs

You all are absolutely hilarious and I have really been enjoying reading this. Thank you so much for reading so thoroughly gosh. I have to go to a school thing but I'll be sure to check back later and read the logs! Thanks again

RebelVampire

np and good luck with school~!

Superjustinbros

Cya, Mabs!

And good luck from me as well~

mathtans

Thank you for the creation! Hope school goes well.

Mabs

Thanks again! Bye all~ Good luck with the rest of your discussion

Superjustinbros

Bye!

RebelVampire

ya know, since nefayn doesnt quite remember pike's reach outside of haziness, i wonder if theres some magical third seal that was meant to hide her own memories. a third seal set up by certain uncles.

mathtans

Speaking of school, if there's no older adults, who runs public institutions?

Maybe she set the third seal herself. Nefayn was the cause of the magical catastrophe, doesn't want to remember it.

Everyone fighting about the love nest.

RebelVampire

idk. hard to say without an exact timeline. also without exact knowledge of their system of governance. like for example, education could just be an at home by parents thing. so no actual public institution for it. but i also dont know the cut off date. and maybe no all the old ppl are dead. more its just heavily skewed to one age group

mathtans

"We're in favour of same sex marriage." "Oh, well, we're leaving then." "You realize the founder of this place was gay?" "We're definitely leaving."

I liked Nassar's story, incidentally.

Some good zingers too. "Reel", heh.

RebelVampire

i really hope we get to see more of adelaide's group. cause i feel there isnt enough nassar yet. we need more puns

mathtans

Yis. Looked like we were getting some focus on Berlin towards the end.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 4. Despite the romance and good feels in Pike’s Reach, they are the last fortress standing against the Eastern hordes. Do you believe Pella is genuine about his desire to unite the east to make the country a better place? Why do you think Pike’s Reach is so ardent about not uniting with the rest of the eastern lands? As time drags on, do you think Pella will give into his advisors and stop going so soft on Pike’s Reach? Will Ezo being injured drive them to it potentially? Alternatively, do you think Pike’s Reach and the Eastern hordes might join forces and put their differences aside for some reason? All in all, who do you think will emerge victorious?

mathtans

Ezo's injury could do that (escalate things), since Pella seems to have that thing for her. Honestly, I don't quite see why he's so keen on the uniting to this extent... is it all ego? I mean, why not just be glad you've got 95% of the continent?

It might be interesting if they join forces though.

I hope love emerges victorious.

RebelVampire

i do think ezo's injury is gonna make pella made. at least enough to challenge adelaide to another duel. but then he might also be mad at ezo and be like wtf ezo we were retreating

i dont think its all ego

just more its kind of awkward to not have pike's reach not united with the rest

cause according to that map pike's reach is basically surrounded on all sides

by pella's united country

mathtans

They'll have to redraw all the maps if Pike's given in though.

What the PUC?

Superjustinbros

D:

mathtans

I feel like Ezo needs a friend even more than Adelaide. One who won't keep patting her on the head.

Maybe the injury will mellow her out, but I doubt it.

RebelVampire

i feel like ezo first needs to take a chill pill and stop going all life or death on everything

https://tapas.io/episode/850159 by this map id also assume pike's reach is a strategic advantage cause its closer to the west so if the west tries something its a good outpost to use to stave off an attack traveling in further eastward toward the capital

but all in all i think pella is genuine and really does want to make the country a better place.

mathtans

I can see that. It's a cool map too.

Superjustinbros

Yeah

Feels a lot like Europe/Russia/Asia merged into one

mathtans

"I will bring you love even if I have to smack you around."

RebelVampire

i actually dont know why pike's reach wouldnt want to unite with them to be honest. XD cause trade would be a nightmare at this point cause youd always have to try to skirt and sneak through the eastern horde lands. if the eastern hordes go to war with someone, land troops would be moved through pike's reach anyway. and to me it just seems pike's reach is more holding out for pride

but i guess tbf we dont know much about pella's country. maybe they eat babies and pike's reach has a strict no baby eating policy

mathtans

That's a fair point. Maybe there's something to the whole magic catastrophe, like they used to be a united continent and it went badly for them.

Jelly babies.

Incidentally, they seem to have all the major seasons, so don't live near an equator.

RebelVampire

i mean i guess it could just be an issue they dont want to be governed except by their own ppl or something. idk. i do feel the magic catastrophe has left some scares and suspicions. and ezo is proof pella isnt opposed to magic.

mathtans

Maybe, heritage and traditions or something. Ooh, maybe aliens will come and attack. That would unite everyone.

RebelVampire

this might be the wrong genre for that

maybe nefayn gets kidnapped

and they unite to save nefayn

cause love is the only thing that matters

mathtans

Could be. Oh, that's a thought, since she's vulnerable now and Adelaine owes her one or two.

Oh, and one nice bit I wanted to mention, the gag about her height.

RebelVampire

youll have to be more specific cause my mind is blanking on which specific gag youre referring to XD

although speaking of gags i liked the one where adelaide and nefayn were having the eating contest. except no one could see nefayn. XD

Superjustinbros

Alright, I'm gonna take my leave for now, thanks for the CTP and best of luck to Mabs on the story~

mathtans

(Sorry, little one again.)

The gag with Nefryn still being short... but being at an okay height. (Like, who isn't thinking that... )

That was amusing too. I wonder if you can get away with stuff when you see magic. "Uh, I wasn't talking to myself, no. Sure."

Have a good one, SJB!

RebelVampire

ah okay i know which gag you mean. that one was funny. XD

mathtans

Final closing thought, slow burn romance can be fun for when things come to a peak. Or a pike. ^.^

RebelVampire

i feel in general theres been a lot more jokes like that since nefayn became human

mathtans

It's been good for alleviating some of the tension.

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB END!

Sadly, this wraps up this week’s Thursday Book Club chat for now. Thank you so much to everyone for reading and joining us! We want to give a special thank you to Mabs, as well, for making Pike’s Reach. If you liked the comic, make sure to support Mabs’ efforts however you’re able to~!

Read and Comment: https://tapas.io/series/pikesreach

Mabs’ Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/mabsart

Mabs’ Twitter: https://twitter.com/mabs_art

[parthzlife]

@gloomybluebella  Okay, here’s the deal.  

First of all, just a disclaimer: I’m not doing this to be a desperate attention seeker and fully expect this to make up for me annoying you and Sammy so much earlier. If she doesn’t feel like talking to me, it’s fine. Just try to keep in mind the gist of what I’m about to say as best as possible, that’s all. 

So why did I suddenly drop everything and vamoose out of the Internet land for a minute there? Well, I don’t really have a straightforward answer to that question, but for the sake of being concise, I’m gonna try and condense this down as much as possible, so, here we go. 

My short answer to that is that I was REALLY unhappy. And by that, I mean something much more profound that the normal melancholy that we all get from time to time. 

So going right off the bat, this whole thing started around late May/early June of 2017. I came across some plush videos on YouTube starring Peach Daisy and Rosalina, and decided I’d have a look at them. And things seemed fine, at first, but then things changed when I saw that they hadn’t uploaded in almost a year, and that, in the comments, some people were begging them for more videos and calling them “the best videos ever”. Which concerned me, to say the least.

A short time after that, I realized there were a lot more people on YouTube uploading the same sort of things, and so I decided to watch those, hoping that it would solve the problem and that there’d be nothing else to it. But, lo and behold, it did not work. Over the next month or so, I started having similar issues with other people on YouTube, G+, and DeviantArt, and I began to feel a nagging feeling that something just wasn’t right. This feeling slowly, but surely, persisted over the next 4-5 months, and, needless to say, I didn’t want to admit that there was even a problem. 

Around Halloween of 2017 is when it all came to a hit for me. I was constantly dealing with trolls and angry rants on a regular basis, a lot of people (particularly Princess Peach RPers) were manipulating me for attention, and a lot of the comments I was seeing on G+ were just filled with cringey Princess Peach fanboys who acted like people had no life outside of RPing. Not to mention, I was also struggling with my classes at school, which disrupted my ability to function normally during that time, and well into the holiday season. That was the last straw for me. After that, I felt like I had no foundation, and I just felt....completely lost. At this point, one could reasonably categorize what I was experiencing as depression. I had trouble concentrating on things, my hobbies and interests were no longer fun for me, and my body was constantly pumping out adrenaline and cortisol from being in a constant state of stress. It was a pretty devastating and awful place to be at in my life, and it did not stop. 

I took a break in December, and made it a point that I would try and use any means necessary to distract my self, as much as possible, to avoid it altogether; and manage my responsibilities in a way that was well-suited for me. And it worked, for about the first 6-7 months of 2018. But around July or August last year, something else came up. I was feeling overwhelmed from juggling multiple responsibilities, and having trouble maintaining a consistent schedule. And because of that, some of the same issues I was having earlier began to resurface as a result of me being unmotivated (e.g. people spamming lewds and constantly complaining about stuff). Eventually, I noticed that Sammy was uploading content, and, partly because I hadn’t seen her upload anything since the first few months of 2018, I was missing a lot of the sights and content I was visiting earlier. So I decided that, maybe, browsing her content and occasionally commenting once a week (maybe even less than that depending on if and what she was posting) would help take my mind off of things. And true, she has depression and her interests and mine aren’t exactly the same. However, I didn’t necessarily want to dismiss it completely, because, I like to think I’m open to all possibilities, and tbf, at the time, I was really ready to just be done with the whole thing. So there’s that.

Around late February/early March this year, things finally did start improving (for real, this time). However, there was still sorta one problem which I hadn’t addressed yet. And after a lot of self-reflection, I can honestly say this is most likely what started this vicious cycle in the first place. So like I was saying, people were manipulating me and their followers for attention, and when that happened, a lot of their “fans” would almost automatically jump on this bandwagon of getting negative and assuming things without having an original opinion or understanding what’s going on (e.g. “Don’t leave! We still care about you!”, “Ignore the haters!”, “Where are you? Please come back! It’s been too long!”, *cries*, 😭, “For the last time, Waluigi doesn’t deserve to be playable in Smash! How many times do I have to keep repeating myself?”, etc.). Basically, I ended up falling into that mob mentality, and I think that’s really why I got so carried away with wanting to make sure Sammy was okay, but not really stopping to consider if I was going about things the right way or not. 

As soon as I finally took that to heart, I knew that a decision had to be made, and that I could no longer dodge it. My parents pulled me aside and asked me what was up. I hadn’t really talked about it with anyone, because it wasn’t really something that could be resolved just by getting advice from a friend or loved one, and I was just too uncomfortable to talk about it with anyone. But I reluctantly agreed, and I told them exactly what was going on. They basically said something along the lines of, “Hey, it’s okay, everyone goes through a rough patch from time to time, you always have options, and you don’t have to let these things cause you distress.”. 

So after that, I started forcing myself to talk to friends I’d known for years. I began having casual small talk with them and had some discussions about how things were going with them, and that was really special to me, too. But the first 2 weeks were ROUGH, to say the least. It was incredibly difficult to take my mind off of the stressful situation I was dealing with, or even focus on the things I enjoyed at the time. I didn’t want to look at my YouTube notifications anymore. I didn’t even want to look at Tumblr or Instagram, or even anything Mario-related anymore. But I sort of knew that was coming, and so I just braced myself for 2 weeks. I knew I wasn’t gonna instantly find relief, and that it was gonna take time, so I just sort of dealt with it, and that was that. 

But after 2 weeks of talking with people about how I was feeling, contemplating my options, and later actually finding value in my life again, I just started to feel better. By the third week, I no longer felt completely stressed all the time, and I was able to relax and actually laugh, and enjoy time with my family and friends, and I didn’t feel depressed anymore. 

Which brings us to now. After some more discussion with my family about how I was feeling, and realizing that I could be happy just by avoiding certain things that I knew were emotionally stressful for me, I finally started having urges to be creative and pursue my normal interests again. And that’s where I’m at, now. 

I wanna also mention that, deep down, I’m actually a really open-minded person at heart. Yes, there have been times when I’ve felt sad because people disagree with me or people whose content I enjoy don’t upload for a long time. However, despite what my past actions might suggest, it’s not all that I think about 24/7, and it still doesn’t rule my entire life. If you prefer to focus on school/work, or if you wanna show love for Waluigi, post silly yet inaccurate memes, or express your LGBT pride, then, more power to you, go for it. What bugs me is when people just constantly spread negativity to the point of overkill, and in turn, cause other people distress and anxiety. Especially when it shows that they can’t think for themselves. So that’s that. 

And that’s pretty much it. I’m active again, and I’m happy to feel creative again. Sorry that this was too long, I just really wanted to get this out and explain how I was feeling. And, if nothing else, I hope this at least cleared things up a little bit. So with that, I’m gonna end this post. Again, I just hope this was a bit helpful.