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teddy06writes · 3 years

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Take Me Back To The Night We Met

Dallas Winston x Johnny Cade x Reader

trigger warnings: character death, swearing, yelling, ANGST

premise: based on the song The Night We Met by Lord Huron. The rumbles been finished, the socs officially driven out, but Johnny's still dying, and Dally might not be able to handle that. Oh god, why can't you just go back to the night you met

Italics- memories

{not me making the first proper poly outsiders story really angsty. Sorry not sorry but I heard the song and- this happened}

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"We did it! The socs are gone!" The loud cheers of the greasers filled your ears.

You grinned, laughing along with the others until you found Dallas tugging at your arm, when you turned to see his expression your face fell, "What's wrong?"

"Johnny- gettin worse-"

As soon as your partner choked out the words you began to panic, "Is he okay?"

"I don't know for how much longer... We gotta go see him-"

You nodded, "Lets- lets go then- we gotta-"

"He- Ponyboy-" He was quickly running off, dragging the boy off the ground and explaining as you ran up to the street, where you could see Buck's beat up t-bird parked.

"Hurry up! Hurry up!" You could hear Dally urging him along.

"I'm going!" Ponyboy hissed, quickly skirting around you and jumping into the back.

You quickly got in, and as soon as Dallas got the car started you were shooting off down the road.

The tension in the car was thick, anxiety rolling off all three of you in waves.

It was a few months ago and You'd just gotten out of work, and normally Johnny and Dallas would be on the corner waiting for you, but they hadn't been there. Somehow, you knew something was wrong.

By the time you'd made it to the lot, most of the gang was there. Steve met you up by the road, '(y/n) don't go down there- you- you aren't gonna like it'

That was what had gotten you in a panic, 'steve whats going on?'

'it's- it's- Johnny-'

Immediately you were pushing past him, running down into the lot, even as both Steve and Soda tried to stop you.

When you'd finally pushed through them, you'd found Johnny, beaten and bloody, face buried in Dally's jacket, still sobbing.

'oh- god Johnny...'

With Dally's speeding it was only a matter of time before a cop was pulling the car over, and you glanced back at Ponyboy, "Look sick- I will too- Dal say your taking us to the hospital, it's true enough."

He nodded, and the cop knocked on the window, leaning over as Dallas lowered it, "Good evening Officer-"

"Alright Bud, where's the fire?"

"The uh- the kid-" Dally gestured back to where Ponyboy was slumped in the back, "Fell over on 'is motorcycle- nearly took out the babe, I'm takin 'em to the hospital."

The man frowned, "Are they real bad? Could you use an escort?"

"Do I look like a doc to you?" He snapped, "Yeah we could use an escort."

The officer seemed to hear the panic in his voice as he nodded, heading back to his car. Dallas continued to tap his fingers on the wheel anxiously, "Come on, come on."

You bit your lip, "God Dal why'd we end up in this mess- Johnny's-"

"I knew I was wrong. I knew I was fucking wrong," He muttered, pulling out behind the cop, "I was just trying to protect you guys- you know? Figured there's only room for one person hard like me in a relationship- you know? That way you two would at least be okay and look what fucking came from it!"

You took a shaky breath as he slapped the wheel, "Dal..."

"You know if I hadn't tried to keep you and him from ending up like me he wouldn't be in this mess! If he'd been smart like me he wouldn'ta ran into that church and you wouldn't have followed him! That's what you get for helping people- isn't it? A couple editorials in the paper and a whole lotta hurt!"

He stopped, glancing back at Ponyboy, "You better wise up kid- you get tough like me and you don't get hurt! You get tough and no one can touch you!"

Ponyboy only groaned in response.

Dallas sighed, turning to look at you, "God (y/n) I don't know- what are we gonna do if we-"

"He's going to be fine Dal!" You snapped.

"You don't know that!"

You shook your head, "He's gonna be fine because I don't want to think about what will happen if he isn't!"

It was only a month or so after Dallas, Dallas of all people, put what the three of you were thinking into words.

You'd decided to take a trip down to Texas, there was no real reason, but still, the three of you had piled into Buck Merril's t-bird, racing down back roads and pulling off into fields at night.

Johnny had fallen asleep in the back just after sunset, and you could still feel the cool glass behind your head, 'god dal, aren't you tired yet? maybe we should pull off now...'

'I was thinking we get a motel somewhere.' he yawned.

'where are we gonna find a motel at? I'm about ready to fall asleep as it is...'

He chuckled, 'don't worry about it Doll... hell climb back with Johnny, I'll wake you up when we get to town.'

Soon you were pulling up outside the hospital, hurrying to get Pony out of the car as Dallas thanked the cop. As soon as the man was gone Dally was grabbed your hand and pulling you to hurry through the building, "Come on, come on!"

It seemed to take only the blink of an eye to get to Johnny's room, and you only half seemed to register the doctors words, "I'm sorry- he's dying."

"We gotta see 'im," Dallas glared at the man, "We've got to see him!"

"Please-" You half choked on the room, trying to look around him into the room.

With a sigh, he stepped to the side, "Go on-"

In an instant you were rushing to Johnny's side, "Johnny..."

You could feel Dallas behind you, "Johnnycake?"

"Heya (y/n)- Dal..." Johnny tried to pull a weak smile as he looked up at you.

"We won-" Dallas reached out, grabbing his hand, "We beat the socs- chased 'em right out of your territory."

"Fighting's no good.... useless...." Johnny half sighed.

You took a shaky breath, "There still writing those editorials- talkin about you, calling you a hero-- I'm proud of you baby-- we both are."

Dallas nodded, and Johnny's head half tipped back in a grin, "You'll be okay... I love you..."

"Johnny--" Dallas half choked.

Ponyboy elbowed past both of you, "He's my best friend--"

Your eyes were half clouded with tears as you stepped back, little moments filling your memory.

It was the state fair, and you were with them.

'come on Dal- your not scared of the ferris wheel are you?' Johnny half taunted.

you grinned, 'you've gotta go on- for us'

'i hate both of you'

Johnny mumbled something to Ponyboy, and then suddenly the room wasn't the same anymore. Almost as if someone had left. You didn't need to look back at the bed to know.

It was a late night, months ago

'(y/n)... (y/n).... (y/n)....'

'what dal?'

'johnnycakes is complaing about wanting cuddles'

Johnny scoffed, 'uh, excuse me, but that is entirely you, Dal.'

you chuckled 'i'll be there in a second'

He was gone.

You could hear Ponyboy's breath hitch, and, with shaky hands you reached forward, pushing hair out of Johnny's face, "Never could keep that hair of yours back could you baby?"

Dallas let out a noise that felt too close to a sob, "that's what you get for trying to help people Jonnycakes- that's what you get."

The lump in your throat couldn’t be pushed back anymore and you choked on a sob, tears falling from your eyes as you turned to Dallas only to see he wasn’t there.

He'd already whirled away from Johnny's bed, banging a fist against the wall, "Damn it Johnny! Oh god Johnny no..."

Dallas was gone down the hall before you could blink.

In a haze, you found yourself following Ponyboy through the hospital, being handed a jacket it took you a beat to long to remember was Johnny's.

Slowly you slid it on, almost instantly dragged back in memory again.

It was been late.

You hadn't planned on going out, but when you saw the light out in the lot you had to check it out. You'd found Johnny and Dally, sitting around a small fire they'd made.

'what are you doing out here?' you asked, sitting down.

Johnny shrugged, 'better than home.'

'beats rotting there.' Dallas nodded.

You had sat in silence for a few minutes before you sighed, rubbing at your arms, "awfully cold out here.'

'here' Johnny shrugged off his jacket, dropping it around your shoulders.

You were grateful for the jacket, but it didn't feel right. God all you wanted to do was go back, back to before all of this.

Somehow Ponyboy led you out of the hospital, and by some miracle you made it back to the Curtis house.

Soda opened the door, frowning, "What's wrong? Where have you two been?"

Ponyboy took a shaky breath, "Johnny's dead... Dallas- he left- (y/n)... I don't think they..."

Soda was already pulling you inside, and pushing you to sit down as Pony explained to everyone else.

"What do you mean Dallas is gone?" Darrel asked.

"He ran out," Your own voice surprised you, "Before it was the three of us it was just him and Johnny- he doesn't know how to live without him-"

"So even Dally has a breaking point." Two-Bit muttered.

Distantly, you heard a phone ring.

It has been a date night- ‘god (y/n) why you takin so long?'

'don't rush 'em Johnnycakes, gotta fix that pretty face of theirs'

'Johnny's being pushy? that's something I wouldn't think I'd see.' you chuckled, coming out of the bathroom.

'well the movies gonna start!'

Darry was talking to the group, "That was Dally- the cops are after him, we gotta meet 'im at the lot-"

Before the words were out of his mouth you were up and running, you couldn't get back to Johnny but you could still get back to Dallas.

It was midday, and you were wandering down the Tulsa streets

'Dal slow down! We don't walk as fast as you!' Johnny called.

He laughed, 'i bet if you tried you could keep up shortstack'

'i'm not short!' you protested.

'well then keep up!'

Down the street, toward the lot, faster, faster faster, you urged yourself. You can't loose him too.

it was early, you were sitting out on the porch with Johnny, watching the rain. Dallas had come out of somewhere, running and breathing hard, 'you got room for one more?'

You could almost see the lot, it was just out of view, you had to hurry, had to hurry to get back-

It was lunch time and you were at the diner with the gang, wedged into a seat between Johnny and Dallas, laughing.

The glow of the street light filled your vison now.

It was dark and you and Dallas hurried through the street, calling out for Johnny.

'i'm here! I'm here!' he called.

You threw your arms around him, 'you scared me!'

Dallas chuckled, 'both of us.'

Dallas was sprinting down the street glancing back every now and again, distantly you could see flashing lights behind him.

It was Autumn and you were back at the fair in the chilly night. Lights were flashing, people were laughing and you were with your boys.

Dallas was reaching back, into his waistband, grabbing something as police cars came to a halt.

It was spring, and day trips were frequent, but this was the first with just you, Dallas and Johnny. You'd found a lake, and now the three of you were spending a day by it's side.

Dallas was raising the gun, but so were the police officers, distantly you wondered if one of them was the same that had given you the escort.

It was years ago, and you had met Sodapop in class.

Shots were being fired, and you could distantly hear yourself yelling, he was falling, falling falling.

It was years ago and Sodapop was inviting you to meet his friends. It was years ago and a boy with big brown eyes was smiling at you from across the lunch table, turning to the sharp nosed blond next to him, who leaned across the table to tell a joke.

Dallas was on the ground, and as the gang who at some point caught up to you were screaming at the officers who'd put him there.

You crumpled to the ground. No, not him. Not Johnny. Not the both of them.

"Oh god take me back!" You were yelling, sobbing, as they were trying to take him away, "Take me back to when we first met! Maybe we won't fuck it up this time!"

But Soda was pulling you back, even as you promised, "I wouldn't let you fuck it up this time- just take me back!"

#the outsiders #the outsiders x reader #dallas winston #dallas winston x reader #dally winston x readre #dally x reader #johnny x reader #johnny cade x reader #johnny cade #teddy06 #teddy 06 #teddy 06 writes #teddy06 writes

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reidgraygubler · 4 years

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a different type of high (spencer reid/reader) pt 3

Title: A Different Type of High (part three)

Request: no

Couple: spencer reid/gender-neutral!reader

Category: mostly fluff, but there is some angst

Content Warning: swearing, mentions of withdrawal and symptoms of withdrawal, talks of depression and suicide (but not for a sentence), mentions of overdose, (if i missed anything that needs to be tagged, please let me know!)

Word Count: 6,148

Summary: Spencer keeps his promise and takes Reader to get coffee before NA. While at the coffee shop, Reader meets one of Spencer’s co-workers and finds out who he actually works for.

A/N: i don’t have much to say other than… i don’t know if it actually snows in quantico virginia or dc. everywhere i’ve looked told me yes and told me no.. so i just made it snow. so if im wrong about that sorry o.o and, this one mentions the episode ‘elephant’s memory’ season 3 episode 16 (i think) anyways, thank you all for the love and support! check out my masterlist! and here’s a series moodboard i made on pintrest!

previous part series masterlist next part

{***}{***}{***}

Three firm knocks came from the front door of my apartment. I looked towards the door as I struggled to tie my shoes. I could hear my heart pounding in my ears as I stood up. My sweater was on the hook by the front door, so I can’t even excuse myself for running behind. It was just my anxiety causing me to be a little slow.

So with that, I walked up to the front door to answer it. I’m not sure why I was expecting anyone other than Spencer, but for some reason, my body was telling me it was someone else. But when I opened the door, a smile spread across my face when I saw Spencer.

Small snowflakes were sitting, and melting, in his hair as he stood in the hallway outside my own world. His nose and cheeks were a light rosy pink color because of the coldness outside. A dark plaid scarf was wrapped around his neck and hung over his unbuttoned jacket. And his eyes had a certain sparkle that I couldn’t seem to look away from.

“Hey,” Spencer smiled at me as he ruffled his hair, getting the snowflakes out. I stayed silent for a moment too long and kept my eyes on him.

“Hey,” I blinked and shook my head, “I’m almost done… I, uh, was just… Do you want to come… Come in,” I kept my voice low as I asked. I stepped back and pulled the door open.

“Thanks,” he smiled before stepping into my apartment. I looked around my home, realizing that it was a little on the messier side.

“Sorry… Sorry for the mess. I usually don’t… I don’t really have visitors here. And, I guess I sort of forgot that you were coming over,” I bit my lips together.

“Oh, don’t… Don’t worry about it, really. My apartment is pretty messy too,” he brushed my messiness off like it was nothing. I looked around my home one last time before grabbing my sweater off the hook. “It’s starting to snow a little hard out there, we should get going,” Spencer cringed as he looked towards the window, which was covered by the cheap dollar store curtains.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m all ready,” I looked at him and smiled. He looked back at me before raising an eyebrow.

“You don’t have a coat?” He asked, watching as I grabbed my apartment keys. I shoved them in my pocket as I looked at him.

“No, this is enough,” I smiled at him. Spencer nodded before following me out. “So, where was your trip to?” I looked up at Spencer as we stepped onto the sidewalk. He was wrapping a scarf around his neck before tucking it away into his coat.

“Someplace in Texas,” he nodded as he buttoned the last button. He smiled at me before putting an arm around me. I just assumed he did it because I didn’t have an actual coat and just a sweater. “Work stuff… Kinda scary…”

“How does a work trip get scary?” I furrowed my eyebrows as I looked at the ground. A very fine layer of snow was dusting the sidewalk, letting our footprints leave tracks as we walked. The snow was coming down like little cotton balls, so our footprints didn’t last very long. I always forget how cold it gets in the Winter.

“Well, uh,” Spencer kept his voice low as he spoke. I raised an eyebrow before looking back up at him. “It’s a long story,” he added in an even lower voice.

“I have time for a long story,” I mumbled with a shrug.

“It’s a really long story,” he looked down at me. I looked up at him and furrowed my eyebrows. It’d take a lot to get this story from him. I’m not even sure if it would be worth the fight...

The chilliness of the air nipped at the back of my neck and arms through my sweater, causing me to shiver. Spencer looked down at me with concern in his eyes. “We need to get you a proper jacket. It’s too cold out for you to be walking in just a sweater and jeans,” he spoke, his tone coming up an octave. I refrained from rolling my eyes because of him changing the subject. I’ll of course bring it up later. He’s clearly not telling me anything about what happened.

“I’m okay, really. With just this,” I tugged on my sweater. Spencer looked down at me and raised an eyebrow. “Really, Spencer. It’s fine. I don’t think I have money for a coat anyways,” I shrugged it off as nothing. Spencer looked away from me, thinking about something to say. Then he suddenly pulled his scarf off and wrapped it around my neck. “I’m fine!” I exclaimed as I stepped away from him. “Spencer, if being cold is the only thing that gives me feeling, then let me be cold,” I looked up at him, “I’m going through enough withdrawal to be depressed and shit. Just let me be cold,” I pulled the scarf off and handed it back over to him. The scarf stayed draped in my hand, swaying in the wind, between Spencer and me.

Spencer stared at the scarf in my hand before looking up at my face. I couldn’t exactly read the expression he wore, but he was definitely upset about my sudden mood change. He slowly shook his head as he pushed the scarf to me.

“Keep it. If you don’t want a jacket and you won’t let me buy you one, I want you to keep my scarf,” he looked up at my face before taking the scarf from my hand. He carefully wrapped it around my neck and placed his hands on my shoulders. I rolled my eyes before smiling at him. “Please, I have another one at home,”

“Are you too stubborn to take no for an answer?” I asked as I started walking again. Spencer laughed as he caught up to my pace. I smiled as he returned his arm around my shoulders. I leaned more into his embrace.

“That would be correct,” he looked down at me and smiled. I rolled my eyes again and shook my head.

We stayed silent on the remainder of the walk, it wasn’t a far walk from my apartment to the coffee shop. Occasionally, Spencer would crack a joke or two, causing me to laugh. Which was good. I missed a good laugh or two.

“So, do any of your work friends know… about this?” I looked up at Spencer as we walked side-by-side into a coffee shop. It was probably a good bet to say that he probably frequents more often than not. “This being you and going to NA, you and you’re… and you and me,” I stopped myself from saying any more, mostly because I knew he hated when we talked about our issues outside of NA or the community center. I understood why he hated it, but it didn’t leave much left to talk about.

“No, no they don’t,” he mumbled as we stepped in line. There were three or four other people in front of us. Just a short wait, that’s it. I’m okay with waiting, in all honesty. The longer we’re here, the longer we are away from the community center. And God knows we both hate that place... “And I’d prefer if it stayed that way,” he spoke, mostly to himself, like he was reminding himself that no one knew of this secret life he has.

“I see,” I whispered and stepped closer to him. Spencer looked down at me before wrapping an arm around my shoulder. I looked down and smiled as he held me closer. “I’ve never been here before,” I looked around the cafe, taking in the atmosphere of the place. It was comfy and cozy. As opposed to the outside, which was cold and snowy.

“Pretty good. Although, it’s kinda hard for me to say no to coffee,” he laughed as he stepped forward in line. I returned the laughter and nodded.

“What do you get? Normal black coffee? Or a fun drink?” I looked up at him. Spencer looked back down at me and thought.

“Usually just plain coffee with cream and some sugar,” he nodded as he looked towards the front at the menu. I followed his gaze and looked over the menu myself. “What about you?”

“Uh,” I shifted on my feet and looked back at his face, “I just... I don’t really drink coffee or anything,” I crossed my arms over my chest. Spencer hummed as he looked down at me. “I guess hot chocolate is okay,” I whispered and looked back up at Spencer.

“Hot chocolate, pretty good,” he spoke as he shoved his other hand in his pocket to pull out his wallet. We both silently stepped up to the counter.

“Hey there, what can I get you guys?” The barista had a certain chipper-ness to her tone. It was probably from all the caffeine she consumes on a daily basis. Or it was the fact that she’s been awake for a million hours and is just tired. Probably the former...

“Large coffee, plain… Room for sugar and cream,” Spencer smiled at the barista. I shoved my hands in my pocket, hoping to find a spare bill or two. But when I pulled my hand out and it was empty, I frowned. Of course, I don’t have extra money. I’m a 22-year-old drug addict (Recovering… Recovering drug addict), who buys street drugs and can barely pay rent on time. Why would I have extra money shoved into my pocket?

“I don’t need anything,” I looked up at Spencer and forced a fake smile on my lips. He frowned and looked at the barista, who was watching the two of us with a friendly smile.

“No, no, my treat. Don’t worry about it,” He gestured to the counter. He removed his arm from my shoulder and pulled money from his wallet. I looked at him with wide eyes before looking back at the barista.

“Uh, small hot chocolate… Thanks,” I kept my voice low, mostly because my anxiety was going crazy. No one’s ever gotten me a drink before, much less anything.

The barista smiled at Spencer and I before taking the money from him. I glanced at him, watching him place the change into the tip jar. He looked down at me with a small smile before guiding me over to where a sign that said “Pick Up Here” sat.

“You didn’t have to buy me a drink, Spencer,” I whispered as we stayed close to one another. He shrugged as he shoved both hands into his pocket. “No, seriously, it’s okay,”

“It isn’t okay, because it’s cold outside and having a nice hot drink is always nice.” Spencer looked down at me and shrugged, “Just accept the kind gesture,” he lifted a hand and placed it on my shoulder.

“I’ve never had someone just buy me something before. I mean,” I stopped myself from talking because the end of that statement had to do with drugs. “Ya know?” I glanced at him, hoping he’d just know what I meant.

“Well, that’ll have to change, won’t it,” he whispered and smiled softly. I stared at him and shrugged. I shifted my gaze from his face and to the ground between us.

“Here’s that hot chocolate and coffee for you two.” A different barista smiled at Spencer and I as he placed two paper cups on the counter. Spencer grabbed both cups and handed one over to me. We both turned to leave.

“Listen, Spencer, hot chocolate is one thing. But a coat? That’s a whole other thing,” I spoke before taking a sip of my hot chocolate. I hummed as the warmth spread through my body. He smiled at me before grasping my hand.

“C’mon,” Spencer started as he pulled me towards the door of the cafe. I could feel a smile tug on my lips as we walked past a new rush of people.

“Reid?” a woman’s voice spoke, stopping Spencer and I in our tracks. He looked away from me and towards the owner of the voice. I followed his gaze and saw a thin brunette. I didn’t like the way he pulled his hand away from mine like he didn’t want to be caught with someone.

“H-Hi, Emily,” Spencer stared at her with wide eyes. The tone and shakiness in his voice definitely told the person and I that he was anxious that this was happening. Which was valid, considering we were just talking about his friends and co-workers and it’d be bad if they found out about NA.

“Emily… Prentiss. I work with Spencer,” She smiled as she looked at me and stuck out a hand. Spencer still has to tell me what his occupation is. Whenever I asked him where he works, he always said he didn’t like talking about it or that it’d worry me. So, this’ll be a fantastic conversation topic on the way to the community center.

I copied the same stare that Spencer held in his eyes. My eyes were glued to her hand. And, no doubt was my anxiety higher than his. “And you are,” she asked after a moment of my staring and silence. Her smile was still kind, but it was a little worrisome. And, her stare scared me, almost like she was reading me or something.

“Right, right, sorry,” I muttered as I placed my hand in hers. I muttered my name and looked at her. She raised her eyebrow before her eyes shifted to look at Spencer.

“How do you know Spencer,” Emily asked, pulling her hand away from mine. I glanced at Spencer, silently pleading for him to take the lead on this question. I really didn’t want to answer this question because I didn’t know how to answer it.

“Friend from the library,” Spencer spoke up with a certain… fakeness to his tone. It was obvious he was lying. It looked like Emily picked up on that too. With the way she pointedly stared at Spencer.

“How do you think I met him?” I looked up at her and shrugged. I looked at the clock that was hanging on the wall and sighed. “If we’re walking, we’re gonna be late,” I looked back at Spencer and spoke firmly. Spencer looked down at me and nodded.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Emily,” Spencer looked back at his friend and smiled. Emily looked between the two of us before allowing us to leave.

“It was nice meeting you,” she smiled at me as we finally left. I flashed her a nervous smile just as the door closed.

Once we were finally outside, Spencer wrapped his arm back around me. I could feel my body get frigid, I played it off as the temperature of the outside even though it was the return of Spencer’s affection. I really enjoyed the affection, but what I didn’t like was his sudden lack of affection the second we see someone he knows. I understand why he did it, but I hated it. I’m a secret.

“Who’s Emily?” I asked, my tone low. I tried not to sound jealous. Spencer’s my best friend, and that’s it. I don’t like anyone like that, and I probably never will. “I mean, I know she’s someone you work with… But you never tell me anything about what you do for work, Spencer,”

“She’s, uh,” he looked down at me. I kept my eyes away from him and stayed silent as I waited for my answer. “Yeah, she’s one of my co-workers.” He nodded. I looked back up at him and furrowed my eyebrows.

“Where is it you guys work? Because it’s clearly not a Starbucks,” I asked, pressing him again about his occupation. “I mean, because if it is Starbucks, can you get me a job?” I smiled at him. Spencer laughed and shook his head. “Okay, okay, you don’t have to tell me where you work… But can you describe where you work?”

“No it’s not Starbucks,” he looked down at me and smiled softly. And with that, our conversation about his occupation ended. I tried not sounding or acting upset. But that’s okay. I’ll get over it.

“Thanks for the hot chocolate,” I looked up at him and smiled. He returned the smile before taking a sip of his coffee.

{***}{***}{***}

“I just don’t understand… Why can’t you tell me?” I looked at Spencer as we walked towards the chairs. He glanced down at me before gesturing towards two chairs. I sat down before him, then watched as he sat down beside me. “Do you work someplace super duper embarrassing? Oh my god, are you a stripper?” I turned to look up at him. Spencer glared at me, a teeny-tiny smile growing on his lips. “Oh my god, you are,” I whispered as I moved closer to him. My butt was on the very edge of my chair so I could be as close as I could to him. “Can you show me somethi-”

“What, no! I’m not a stripper,” Spencer furrowed his eyebrows before laughing. I returned the laughter and looked up at him. He looked over his shoulders to see if anyone was nearby, or close enough to hear our conversation. “Why don’t we talk about this when we’re done here… No one here needs to hear our conversation,” Spencer whispered as he looked back at me. I looked at him before reaching out to hold his hand. He flinched slightly when I touched his hand. I looked up at him before blinking. As I went to pull my hand away from him, his grip tightened around my hand. “Does that sound good? I’ll be honest and answer any questions you have,” he looked down at our hands and nodded. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, whether that be saliva or nerves he was swallowing back. A light shade of pink grew on his face, coming up from his neck.

“Yeah, yeah that works,” I looked down at my lap. The scarf was draped over my legs, keeping me warm a little bit. Jacob stood up in the middle of the circle to introduce everyone, and I already wanted the night to be over. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Spencer looking over at me as I silently prayed for death to take me now. “My place or yours?” I smiled softly before looking back at him.

“Yours since we’re already walking back there,” he dropped his head to his shoulder before looking at me. I smiled and turned to face Jacob.

{***}{***}{***}

“Uh, I don’t have much in the means of food. I might have a can of spaghetti-o’s… If you’re hungry,” I spoke as I pulled the scarf off my neck and placed it on the hook, along with my sweater.

“Oh, I’ll just have a glass of water,” Spencer spoke as he pulled his coat off. He placed his coat right on the hook beside my sweater. I nodded before walking over to the small kitchenette area.

“You can have a seat anywhere, couch, armchair, floor... “ I grabbed two glasses before filling them with water. I walked back to the living room, my eyes down on the ground.

“So,” I whispered as I set the glasses on the coffee table. Spencer, who was sitting on the couch, leaned over and picked one up. I sat on the opposite end of the couch before curling up into the corner. “Emily seems very nice,” I looked at him, watching as he sipped his water.

“She is… Everyone I work with is like family to me,” Spencer looked at me before placing his glass back on the coffee table. “It’s frustrating because...” he started, but he didn’t finish his thought. I furrowed my eyebrows and stared at him.

“What’s frustrating?” I asked, watching as he furrowed his eyebrows. He looked back at me for a moment before exhaling.

“It’s frustrating… Because I constantly ask for help and no one helps.” Spencer looked down at his lap. I raised my eyebrow as I turned to face him more.

“How are you asking for help? And… I thought you said no one knows,” I whispered as I laid my head on the back of the couch. Spencer glanced at me before looking back down at his hands. He was pulling at fingers, his joints quietly popping. “Spencer, if no one knows what’s going on, then they can’t help you,” I kept my voice low because I didn’t want to say the wrong thing. I’m sure with Spencer I couldn’t ever say the wrong thing. I mean, he couldn’t say the wrong thing to me…

“No, no… I think they know… And that scares me,” he whispered as he looked back at his hands. “I’ve been with them for so long, and they know me enough to know when something’s wrong,” he shrugged before shifting in his seat.

“What is it you do for work? You still haven’t told me,” I looked back at him as I asked. His gaze shifted between the couch and my face. The way his eyes shifted across my face and his silence told me he was trying to find the words to say but was having a hard time formulating them.

“I work for the FBI,” he whispered, dropping his gaze away from my face.

I could feel my heart drop to my stomach and a certain sickness rise up my esophagus. It took everything in me not to be sick at the moment. My hand balled up into a tight fist, and I could feel my nails digging into my palms so hard, I’m sure if they weren’t nubs I would have bled. The FBI… The police… People who arrest people who buy and sell drugs illegally. People like me...

“The… The FBI?” I asked in a whisper. My voice was shaky as I spoke. Spencer looked back at me and nodded lightly. I shifted in my seat, my body wanting to leave. “You’re not… You’re not an undercover agent, are you?” I swallowed roughly as I stared at him.

“What? No,” Spencer scowled as he looked at me. I looked away from him, mouthing the word ‘Sorry,’ but not even meaning the apology. “I’m not an undercover agent, and I’m not going to arrest you. No, I’m like you. I’m trying too get better.” He whispered as he looked back down on the couch. “Last week, when I was on the work trip… I was saving a kid… Some teenager… He was… He was bullied growing up and in high school. And, he was…”

“Victim turned bad guy?” I asked, interrupting him. He glanced over at me and nodded lightly.

“Yeah, yeah that’s basically what had happened. They were going to shoot him,” he whispered. I glanced at him and noted that tears were rolling down his cheeks.

“They? They being the other members of your team?” I wrinkled my nose as I asked. He glanced at me again and nodded. I moved to stand up, but Spencer reached out and grabbed my wrist to stop me from standing. I looked at him with wide eyes and terror on my face. His features softened as he looked at me, realizing that this was getting too real for me too fast.

“And, I… I couldn’t let this kid die. So I stood between this kid, this kid that I only knew so much about, and nine police officers and federal agents and their guns,” he whispered, his voice breaking as he went on. My eyes grew wet as he spoke.

“That’s really stupid of you, Spencer,” I whispered as I shift back to be sitting on the couch. Spencer laughed lightly and nodded. “Don’t… Don’t do that again,” I rubbed the underside of my nose and shook my head.

“Yeah, it was stupid of me, wasn’t it… But, this kid is alive,” he whispered. I looked over at him and watched as he moved closer to me. “You can trust me. I’m trying every bit as you are to get better,” he spoke as he readjusted his grip from my wrist to my hand. I swallowed roughly and looked down at our hands.

“You… I know we don’t know we don’t know each other too well… But you can’t die, Spencer. I don’t care if it’s because of work, because of a bad guy, or because of someone at work, or if it’s because of drugs… But, you can’t die,” I whispered as I looked back at him. I could really feel the tears racing down my cheeks. “I’ve never been clean as long as I have been. I don’t think I can do this without you,” I roughly rubbed my cheeks and shook my head. “I’m… I’m sorry, that’s stupid,” I scoffed and shook my head.

“That’s not stupid. Nothing about it all is stupid.” Spencer looked at me as he spoke. He lifted a hand to wipe my cheeks with a thumb. I looked at him before looking at the ground. “I’m having a rough time… With, uh, with, well, you know. I’ve stopped, uh, it. And last week’s case was the first case without it. I just didn’t care what happened, even if that meant dying.” He whispered as his grip on my hand tightened. “If you can do it… I can do it,”

“Accountability buddies,” I smiled as I reminded him of our promise to each other. Spencer looked back at me and smiled.

“Yes, accountability buddies,” he sighed as he pulled me close for a hug. I took a deep breath, breathing in his smell. “You alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m alright,” I wiped my cheeks again, “Mister FBI Agent,” I looked up at him and smiled, “Can you stay the night?” I asked, looking away from his face and at the messy coffee table.

“Are you sure?” He looked down at me as he rested his hands on my shoulders. I looked up at him and nodded.

“I think it’d make me feel better… Knowing that you’re… That you’re here,” I glanced at him. I wasn’t sure if I was embarrassed or not. But, I definitely felt weird asking him to stay here. Just something about him being near for the night made me feel safe. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I understand if it’s weird or what-”

“Yeah, I think I can make that work,” he nodded and looked at me. I smiled before throwing my arms back around him. “Just don't be surprised if I’m not here when you wake up,” he laughed lightly as rested his hands on my back, “I just… I know I’ll have to be at the office early,” he further explained.

“That’s okay,” I nodded and looked up at him, “I promise I won’t make it a habit… Of asking you to stay the night, that is,” I looked away from him and shrugged. Spencer laughed and shook his head.

“I wouldn’t care if you did,” he muttered. I probably wasn’t supposed to hear him say that, but I did. And it kinda made me feel happy, like unusually happy. “Is it alright if I use the bathroom?” He asked as he stood up.

“Oh, yeah, yep,” I copied his action and stood up. I looked to the ground as I lead him towards the bathroom, “Here you go,” I gestured into the open room. Spencer smiled at me before entering, pressing the door behind him. I stared at the surface of the door before stepping away. My fingers were tapping together as I walked back to the living room. My anxiety was a little high, and I wasn’t sure why, and the tapping was helping me calm down a bit. I had no secrets in the bathroom, nothing embarrassing or dangerous for him to see.

I silently went back to sit on the couch, pulling my throw blanket over my shoulders. My apartment wasn’t necessarily cold. But there was enough of a chill to be noticeable. Well, to me at least. I’m not so sure about Spencer. I know I could just turn the heat up, but heating bills are expensive.

I instinctively stood up when the bathroom door clicked open. Spencer stepped out, drying his hands on his shirt. I internally cringed at my lack of paper towels or hand towels in the bathroom.

“Sorry,” I looked up at him and cringed. He looked back at me and shook his head.

“It’s okay,” he smiled as he shoved his hands into his pockets. I stared at him for a moment before walking away from the couches. “I really don’t have an issue sleeping on the couch,” he took a larger step to walk beside me. I glanced at me and shrugged.

“It’s cold,” I pointed out as we walked closer to my room. Spencer looked at me and smiled. “Besides, my bed can hold two people,” I smiled, mostly to myself. My bed wasn’t big, to begin with, two people probably shouldn’t be sharing. But, here we are… Because I didn’t want to be alone tonight.

“Okay, okay,” Spencer laughed lightly as we entered the room. I looked up at himand smiled more as he looked at my bed. “If you say so,”

{***}{***}{***}

Okay, I was right, yet wrong at the same time. My bed can hold two people. But, it shouldn’t. Even though I’m smaller than Spencer, we were both on the very edge of the mattress. We had been in bed for an hour, and it’d been about 45 minutes since I shut the light off, leaving us in total darkness. I wouldn’t say I was uncomfortable, but it was difficult to be comfortable.

I rolled over onto my side, my back facing Spencer. Spencer was stiff on top of the blanket, making it impossible to get comfortable under it. He laid perfectly still on his back with his hands folded on his stomach.

“You know you can get under the blanket,” I spoke out loud as I looked up at him. He looked over at me, and it was clear that he hadn’t fallen asleep yet either. “Or, I can go get the blanket from the living room and you can use that,” I added in a whisper.

“It’s fine,” he nodded before shifting to move the blanket.

Once Spencer was actually under the blanket, he rolled on his side, so my back was pressed against his chest. My body stiffened once he relaxed. After a few minutes, I finally let my body relax and melt into the bed… That was until Spencer draped his arm over my body.

“It’s okay,” I spoke before he even got the chance to move away from me, “It’s fine, you’re… You can stay there,” I shivered because I was cold and not because of my sudden anxiety. I knew he could sense my nerves. “It’s fine, really, Spencer,” I placed a hand on top of his to keep him from moving away from me. “Are you asleep?” I whispered, already knowing the answer. I knew we both wouldn’t be asleep anytime soon. The cuddling happening between us is obviously something we’ve never experienced before. I mean, I don’t know about Spencer, but I’ve never cuddled another human being other than my own mother (but even then she hadn’t cuddled me in more than 10 years).

“Yes, I’m still awake,” he spoke, his voice low. His grip around me got a little tighter, pulling me closer to his chest. The way he held on to me was comparable to a child holding their stuffed animal, and I was honestly okay with it. “I’m assuming you’re still awake, considering you just asked me a question,”

“I don’t usually fall asleep for a while after I go to bed,” I mumbled, pulling the blanket closer to me, “I spend most of my nights in bed, awake till 4 am,” I sighed. I silently hoped that tonight would be different though.

“I’m sorry about that,” Spencer whispered. I shrugged as I shifted closer to him and further to the middle of the bed. “Maybe you should try to sleep earlier tonight,” “Yeah… Maybe,”

{***}{***}{***}

I woke up before him. Our legs were tangled together, and he was holding me close against his chest. For the first time in a long time, I actually slept well. I wasn’t sure if it was because of the enormous space heater beside me, or because another person was actually in bed with me, but I was getting very hot.

I looked up at Spencer’s face, wanting to stay like this for a while. Although, I knew we couldn’t stay like this. He’d have to leave soon to go to work. He just looked so peaceful asleep. And, I was so comfortable lying here…

I widened my eyes as I stared at him. My heart started beating faster, and I wasn’t sure if I could get it to slow. Part of me was worried that it’d wake him up, and another part of me was okay with it all. But, why was I worried as much as I was? And, why was it only when I was with Spencer I felt this way? What was going on? Crap...

I quickly closed my eyes and nuzzled my body closer to him when I saw that he started stirring. I threw my arms over his body and pressed my face to his chest. His heart beating and breath was somewhat soothing for me.

Spencer carefully shifted in his space before pulling my arms off him. I refrained from pouting. The bed shifted as Spencer sat up in the bed, partly bringing the blanket with him. He tossed the blanket back to me, lightly covering me again.

“Do you have to go to work,” I whined as I looked at Spencer as he slid out of my bed. He looked down at me with wide eyes.

“I thought you were asleep,” he half muttered. I sat up before rubbing my eyes. Sleep? Pfft, I never sleep. He should know that! We just talked about it last night. “And, yes, I have to go to work,” he stood up and turned to look at me. I looked up at him and frowned.

“Nah, I never sleep, we talked about that last night,” I shook my head. Spencer sat at the foot of the bed to put his shoes back on. “I just have a bed to lay in and wallow in self-pity when I’m not at the community center,” I rubbed my nose. I pushed the blanket off me and crawled over to sit beside him. “And when I’m not with you,” I looked up at him.

“You don’t do anything during the week?” He looked over at me with a raised eyebrow. I shrugged and shook my head. “Really?”

“I mean, Wednesdays are really the only days I have stuff. I guess I could do chores and stuff,” I looked towards the door, remembering the mess in my living room, “I know what you’re thinking, I should get a job. But that’s so hard. I don’t have any job experience,”

“I never said I was thinking that,” Spencer turned to face me. I dropped my shoulders and looked up at him. “How do you-”

“I’m friends with the owner of the building and he knows I live on hard times. And, mom had some money left behind,” I dropped my head so I wasn’t looking at him.

“I’m not judging you,” he spoke, his tone very insistent. I sighed and nodded.

“You should go, before you’re late,” I looked back up at him, “I don’t want to be the reason why you’re late. Emily already knows about me. We don’t need the others asking about me. Some random girl you slept with,” I smiled. Spencer looked over at me, trying to hold back his smile.

“You’re not going to stay in bed all day, are you?” He asked, standing up. I looked up at him and shook my head.

“I told you, I can do chores and stuff,” I shrugged and looked around my room, this time at the laundry room. “Will I see you again before next Wednesday?” I asked as I moved closer to the edge of the bed.

“That’ll entirely depend on work,”

“Oh, yeah, that’s right. Agent Spencer,” I smiled at him before standing up. Spencer glared at me for a moment before laughing, “Are you like 007?” I asked leading him back out of my room.

“No, I’m not like James Bond,”

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sorio99 · 3 years

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Deltarune Chapter 2: Live Thoughts

So, since the new chapter of Deltarune came out, I've played it all the way through, so, here are my thoughts as I had them. Basically a live-blog, but, not live anymore, I wrote these in my notes app before.

NOTE: Obviously there are going to be ALL THE SPOILERS for Deltarune Chapter 2 in this, as well as Chapter 1. Reader discretion is advised.

Wow, okay, so I was wrong about it being immediately explained.

Various descriptions have changed, and I’m not sure if it’s because of the change to a new game, or the one to a new chapter.

I feel like Berdly is definitely a m’lady guy.

Okay, so, we’re not skipping class this time.

I really wish we could call Toriel and tell her we’re gonna be late again, but I couldn’t see an option for that. Maybe Kris told her on the ride to school.

Okay, so, Noelle is definitely adorable, and a huge lesbian.

Susie seems lovestruck too, kinda.

SHE HAD CHALK, AND SHE DIDN’T TELL ALPHYS BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT SHE AND SUSIE COULD GO GET IT TOGETHER OH MY GOD

Okay, honestly wasn’t expecting the closet to work again.

Fricking LOVE the new transition.

Okay, so, Ralsei knows about, the real world? How, why, and what?

Oh, that, makes, a little sense? But also, if we hadn’t brought the toys over to the closet then, would they all be, dead?

AND WHAT IS RALSEI IN THIS CONTEXT?!?!

Okay, but I love the new town.

Holy shit, save points have storage, AND a spare list? Hell yeah.

So, we’re all level 2 now. I guess they moved from EXP based (or, execution point based?) to Milestone.

Love the basement for bad guys, with K. Round standing guard.

Bitch said “Child abusers live in Hamster Cage”.

Wait, he uses the hamster wheel?

I don’t know if I believe the king about his “bluff” or not. I think not, but, I don’t know.

I can see the “Susie moves to Ralsei’s castle to escape her abusive home” fic already.

RALSEI GAVE KRIS A TRASHCAN, AND SAID IT WAS FOR THE MANUAL IF HE GIVES US ANOTHER ONE OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY MY SWEET FLUFFY BOY

And of course, the moss call-back.

Oh god, Susie just said “My own room, huh.” and my heart is ready to shatter.

This girl has one actual food item in her fridge, and it’s just salsa

Oh, scratch that, there’s ice, crumbs, and jawbreakers in there too?

Oh, okay, Ralsei did give her actual food.

Entering Lancer’s room gives the cartoon Splat sound effect from Chapter 1, and his bedroom is identical to Chapter 1.

Perfect.

And the sound effect, plays in reverse when leaving? Okay.

So, explore until we’re ready to leave, huh? Seems, suspicious.

Oh my god, I just realized, the LightCandy is literally the chalk Noelle gave Susie. What the fuck.

So, for giving the Top back his cake, we get regenerating SpinCake that heals everyone for 140. Nice.

Battle challenges, huh? This should be interesting.

So, we can get a ClubsSandwich, $100, or…Jigsaw Joe’s entire life savings. Okay.

Aw, Clover has separate heads in their dialogue box!

Just realized this “dojo” also has their bed. Odd.

Alright, let’s take these challenges!

Oh, so if we act with Kris, than spare with Ralsei or Susie…got it!

He has a mercy meter. There’s a mercy meter now. I love this.

Oh, of course his life savings is exactly one dollar.

I can already tell the Graze challenges are gonna be the biggest bitches.

Okay, so, being able to rematch bosses, with different gimmicks and attacks, but based on the same logic? Always amazing.

I love the little cut-ins from the other characters with certain lines, like Susie and Lancer revealing “for a price” means zero dollars.

“Cookie and Wife”?

The Blacksmith runs a bakery where he can fuse items…okay.

Imma get a Silver Card.

What the fuck, Mr. Society?

Okay, so, we’re “leaving” through the way we came in, so “surely” we’re going back “home” to the “real world” and our “family”. Sure.

LANCER was added to your key items.

Oh was he now?

And so was Rouxls, “even though no one wanted that.”

Oh, we, actually went back to the light world. Huh. Actually wasn’t expecting that.

Jack of Spades, and the Rules Card. Makes sense.

Still LV 1 here, thankfully. No murder yet.

Okay, thankfully I can call Toriel now.

…Undyne, what the fuck?

Also? This, car horn music, I guess? Is, um…interesting.

Oh, the, computer lab. Where Toby was in Chapter 1. Okay. Makes sense.

“Guess this means we can’t start our project.” I’d say the biggest obstacle is more that we have no clue what the hell this project is supposed to be.

Hmm, we could use the computer at my house, or we could have a fun Toby Fox adventure…

My house!

I knew Susie wouldn’t allow it, also, you always wanna jump in big pits? That’s, worrying.

Computer lab time!

So, computer themed, maybe?

Rouxls jumped out, apparently. According to Lancer.

Okay, this build up is creepy, where’s the fluffy boy?!

Who is SHE?!

Was

Was that Noelle’s chatter sound?

Asking for help?

OH MY GOD

ITS THE REINDEER LESBIAN

SHES BEEN TAKEN

NOOOO

And, I suppose, this must be, our queen.

Q5U4EX7YY2E9N. Sure. I’ll stick with Queen, yeah.

Oh, she’s a computer! That…that’s probably not, great?

Oh, those plugs are bad, brainwashers. Okay.

Okay, they’re both tired…but Ralsei isn’t here. Fuck.

Aiming at moving targets is hard.

2 Werewires spared, only 4 to go, I guess!

RALSEI IS BACK, YAY!

Fun Gang, back together, working to save Susie’s soon-to-be-girlfriend!

Rhythm game to start a new bumping song. Nice.

Might live blog less from here, since, you know, the game is starting proper.

God, I love Deltarune’s look and sound, it’s so clean? And expressive, and AAAGH, I just love it!

I love angry Ralsei.

First lose control laughing moment: Kris and Susie squishing Ralsei like a toothpaste tube, to play an arcade game.

Did, did I just play Punch-Out inside an Undertale?

Curing computer viruses with Syringes…sure.

Sweet is the rhythm guy! Nice to meet you, Sweet! You and Toby are great at this music thing.

Hey, Susie can act now! Awesome!

Ralsei too, because of bullying! Yay!

Now the whole gang’s dancing!

(This is where I took my first real break, to process stuff and relax, and also to sleep)

In between thought: it’s kinda interesting that, in Chapter 1, Susie basically had to be forced to care about Kris, Ralsei, and Susie, but as soon as Noelle is in the slightest bit of danger, she’s immediately like, “We have to save her or die trying”, huh?

“Reverse diss-tracks, where the vocalist puts themselves down and praises Queen…or noise music.” That’s some, interesting taste in music.

“All our songs are only 4 seconds long!” Damn, so you’re, like, Vine musicians?

So, the Knight is opening alternate fountains, that create dark worlds out of, more mundane places? Interesting…

So, someone new is leading the rebels. This, can’t go well.

Smorgasbord 2.

Oooh, a TP raising Item! Nice!

Oh, the guy who was already working for Queen is a Werewire now. Okay.

66 up arrows. Hmmm, I wonder if I can retry at some point…

Oh boy. Here’s the queens…wait what?

Oh my god.

Go kart time.

Noelle, you traitor! How could you!

Oh, okay. Berdly I believe more.

Also, “beloved”.

I love how Queen apparently didn’t even ask him.

“Light Nerds” Good one, Queen.

That’s one weird Check for Berdly.

Berdly, for God’s sakes, Noelle is a lesbian, you idiot.

You know, given this villain rant, I think I hate Berdly more than I do King. And I’ve dealt with both bullies AND abusive dads.

Oh god, Roller Coaster Tycoon murder (also Berdly is dead)

Garbage! Saved by it again.

Oh, this place looks glitchy.

Also, Susie, you’re not the king of the trash pile. You’re QUEEN of the trash pile.

Oh god, please don’t tell me she’s dying.

Okay, good, she just needed fluffy boy hug.

Fork in the path, advantageous to split up, huh? But there’s three of us, and, two paths probably.

Okay, I can either go with the Fluffy boy who might secretly be evil, or the mean girl who might get lesbian scenes…hmmm…

I’m flipping a coin.

Okay, Ralsei it is!

Oh, Susie is upset at me getting to pick.

Oh, they’re going together.

Oh, this can’t be good.

If I had a nickel for every indie game with a cat themed metropolis on my pc, I’d have two nickels. You can finish the meme.

I swear I just saw Noelle on the right. Something big in the streets, hmmmm…

Okay, definitely saw Noelle that time. Shame the Poppups, popped up.

…I get it, Toby, but I’m still mad.

Blocked 10 ads…okay, I still love this game.

God, I’m already missing my party members.

Okay, so I still have Lancer, but, I’m really hoping Noelle listens to reason, because Lancer is, not.

Oh god no, don’t fight me now Queen. And please don’t join me.

Alright, nobody likes Berdly. Figured.

God they’re so dumb.

“G-got any room for another truce?” Noelle, I would do a No Mercy run for you, of course I’m going to help you.

I can’t believe “No Triple Trucies” is even an option.

Yay! Noelle in party!

“LV1 Snowcaster. Might be able to use some cool moves.” She’s got Heal Prayer, a more powerful (but more expensive) Pacify, and a damaging Ice move for only 16% TP.

I love her.

I don’t know what a sugarplum is myself, actually.

Noelle, you have a one track mind, and I like it.

Lancer, she’s not a cream, and we’re not making her a bad guy.

Oh, and she’s scared of mice, I love it!

Ah, she’s never been in battle before, let’s see how this goes.

See? That wasn’t so bad, Noelle.

Oh, she’s a natural!

“Needles aren’t scary…” Tell that to anyone under 20, Noelle.

Also, “subtle” pro-Vax message?

Oh my god, I just love her animations.

So, the virus and the syringe are fighting…hm…

Okay, so, first, Noelle’s defend animation, also perfect.

Second, so Ambyu-lance’s bullets block and destroy Virovirokun’s…hmm…

Have I mentioned how much I love Noelle? This funky little Christmas Lesbian can do no wrong.

Oh my god, she can’t even confidently say we’re friends, and hearing Kris say it makes her happy, I love her so much.

Okay, so, Queen drinks Battery Acid. Makes sense for a computer.

Kris is so done with this shit, I can tell.

I am both scared of and loving Queen.

Oh Jesus Christ Berdly what the fuck is that.

That is not greatness that is…I don’t know. I’m pretty sure even tumblr isn’t horny for you, Berdly.

Christ, he’s gonna break Queen by being an idiot and then he’ll be the Chapter boss.

Her eyes say lying. Of course.

“I Did Not Know You Had… Nipples” that’s, a good point.

…Berdly, you disturb me.

Second lost control laughing moment: Noelle’s cardboard robot face, and Queen just saying “Wow Cool Face”

Lancer, what is the “illusory nipple technique”?

Oh, of course the music bots built the statue. Berdly would never do manual labor.

Oh, and, they built the next “big” thing…hmmmm…

Why are we, flavors of tea???

Okay, that should be all the werewires for now.

The, clothing store, sold me, a useless mannequin, for $300. Of course.

I am going to touch the cheese.

Maus!

Cheese maze, purposely ruined to spare more Mices.

Hmm, Berdly talks about Noelle’s crush. $20 says he actually thinks it’s him, or maybe Kris at a stretch.

Noelle is now immune to mice! Yay!

Oh, CD Bagel, Seedy Bagel, just got that.

Okay, sacrifice pacifist run to kill Berdly…I’m tempted.

Uh, Berdly, Noelle just one shot both your allies. I’m not alone, you are.

Jokes on you, buddy, I’ve been dodging A+ for years!

“(He hit me in the face with a tornado…)” Yes, Noelle, and I have papercuts on my eyelids. He do be an asshole.

Oh good, they both made Battery Acid Pies. Now we’re in a car together. Perfect. This is exactly how I wanted things to go.

Potassium

Who is this trash man?

Spamton, huh. Oh boy.

Oh god, this song has lyrics.

Oh joy, a mini boss on my own. Just what I wanted.

Oh, new game over screen! Nice.

Anyways, I hate this guy.

Okay, just one more deal, I think. I wonder what’s next.

I’m not giving you my credit card info, dude.

Oh damnit, 1% more.

Okay, I’m very scared now.

Oh, I lost $51. That’s, fair.

Okay, back in the car.

Oh my god, Queen loves Noelle too. Perfect.

Lancer took the mixtape! Nice!

Oh, he ate it…nice!

DECEMB…

Oh god she’s a little kid.

December.

I’m so sorry, Noelle. I really hope you’re going to be okay. We’ll figure out what to do.

Queen, why does everything you have explode?

Now the prize is on my head.

Susie and Ralsei! You’re back!

She can slightly heal me now…cool!

And she taught him Sarcasm. I love them all so much.

Uh, Susie! You can have it!

Okay, so, now Susie is both gay for Noelle, and suspicious of her. Amazing.

And Noelle is turned on by the threat of being killed. Have I mentioned I love these dorks?

The gang’s all here!

Uh, just got past fireworks, and, where’s Noelle?

Oh, okay. She was just watching Fireworks.

Oooo, catching mice minigame!

Oooo, more elaborate but simpler to control mice minigame!

Oooo, bucket hole!

Also, nice gay Noelle moment noted.

Oh no, please don’t take the perfect girl away from us!

Okay, so, I don’t like Berdly, but, Acid river? Bit much…

Oh, okay. He was never in danger. I hate both of you. GIVE US BACK NOELLE

GOD DAMNIT NOT THE CAGE AGAIN.

Oh, great, now we’re captured too. Except possibly Ralsei.

She only plays mobile games. Burn her.

For once Berdly is correct.

Queen, you are dumb.

Is that the super Mario world fade?

I don’t, next question.

No looking at my Search history!

Oh, hey, we can chat in here.

LANCER TIME!

YES I MISSED YOU YOU DOPE

Lancer, never say Pants hole again, and never say you were inside it either.

Lancer, do you still not know our name?!

So this is how they lampshade the tutorial-Toriel thing, huh?

Oh no, Lancer, please don’t die in here.

Um, are there rooms for all the kids at school?

Asriel…

Puzzle time!

Plot twist: Susie is not Susan.

Berdly is dumb.

Admittedly, I did brute force that second one a bit…

Okay, now Susie has outsmarted both me AND Berdly. This is sad.

Oh god, he’s gonna cry now.

Oh, my god, that’s what December meant. That’s why Berdly cares about Noelle. That’s why…oh god.

Oh wow, Susie’s a gamer. This is incredible Lore.

Oh wow, first Lancer’s face returns, now Berdly is Anime. I love this game.

Oh my god, Ralsei in a tux. I love him.

Alright, so, Lancer needs to go back to Castle Town, and we need to get the heck to Noelle. I hope Berdly’s plan actually works…

Aw, I wanted him to stay tuxedo…

Color Cafe, huh?

Oh god, Rouxls came here. I am terrified.

I love this hype manor song!

Toby Fox, why is there so much 3D Shenanigans in this 2D Top Down RPG???

Note: from here, I end up going to the secret of this chapter. Do not read if you don’t want to be spoiled on that plotline. Skip to where I say Pancake Batter.

Okay, I’m going back, and I’m gonna find this third blue check mark.

Okay, found it, now to get back to the guy…

Yay, fireworks, again!

East treasure’s hallway leading to Basement on 1F…

Oh dear.

So there’s a secret here after all…where is…

Found it!

Okay, how to open this lock, now…hm.

Well, one thing was in the field, so, maybe in the city?

Oh Jesus it’s Spamton.

$28, not a penny more.

KeyGen, huh…

If this is as hard as Jevil, I’m gonna be pissed.

Oh, great, just Kris going in. Again. Fantastic.

Oh what the fuck.

Oh Jesus Christ I hate this build up.

Oh, and I died on the elevator. That’s fun.

Okay, so I hate this elevator. A lot.

Okay! Took like six tries, but I made it past the elevator! Now, let’s see what’s waiting for me…

EmptyDisk…hmmmmmmmm…

Maybe take that back to Scamton or whoever?

…Ralsei, Susie, what are you two doing?

Okay, trash man, you better like this.

Oh Jesus Christ.

Okay, this is not what I expected to follow Jevil’s lead. But, let’s see what happens when I turn this disk in.

Oh, nothing happened. Sure it did. Just gonna walk away then…

Oh, wouldn’t you know it, something happened!

Okay, so big puppet robot man. This is terrifying.

THANK YOU SUSIE!

Roller coaster boss! Again! Oh good!

YELLOW SOUL!

Can’t write notes, gotta kill.

Spamton, oh my god. And it’s Neo’s outfit. How the fuck did I not realize before?

Im terrified, let’s GOOOOOO!

Holy shit is that the Undertale Game Over message??????

Many tries later

Okay, I think it’s actually Ralsei and Susie talking…

Quitting the game so they can get their healing items out of storage and buy some good ones extra later

Okay, third turn, and I’ve only been hit once! Granted, it did almost 50 damage to Susie, but, still, doing better this time!

Even more death later

Did he just, attack himself?

Is he surrendering?

I…I did it! I did it in one sitting! Minus quitting so I could grab healing items that did more than 40 HP!

Oh, he killed him by freeing him…….okay.

Dealmaker, huh? Let’s see what this bad boy is…

+4 defense, +5 magic (even on Kris?), and $+30%…”and…?”

Okay, Ralsei, you get that, Susie get’s Jevilstail, and I get many questions.

Alright, now back to the actual plot!

Oh…Kris has goosebumps, and Susie’s asking if they’re okay…no. I’m saying no.

I love these two so much. Now let’s save the adorable lesbian.

Pancake Batter. Alright, we’re good.

Sorry, Noelle, got distracted.

Mouse wheel!

Tasque manager helped!

Man, this room is big and empty, with an odd exit door and screens on the north wall. Hmmmm…

Toby!

Thank you annoying dog!

Okay, I still love this music. Just wanted to say that. Anyways, PROGRESS!

We’re tea covered now. Except Susie. She’s tea filled.

Oh god, I don’t trust Berdly with Susie.

God, Knight teased.

Duck ride with Fluffy Boy.

Okay, so, puzzle time, methonk.

High Five!

More duck ride!

Ralsei, do you wanna do the kissy?

Oh boy.

Oh jeez.

Oh damn.

Rouxls.

Ralsei, you read my mind.

Oh Jesus it’s the tank from the first game.

Okay, so, we, take houses? Okay.

I can’t believe some people thought this dork was Gaster.

Wow, I beat him in like 3 and a half turns because I blocked him in.

Another God Dammit because SOMEONE didn’t pay attention to what happened to Lancer.

His head is still blue…

Hey, Camera! Peace signs and hugs!

Mostly hugs.

Yay, more Susie and Noelle time!

Oh my god, my heart is breaking.

Okay, I love these adorable girls.

Oh boy, this is, weird.

“Point and hearts come out” or “Eat moss”. The choice of a generation.

Fair point, Susie.

She likes scary things, huh.

Kinky

Have I mentioned how much I love these two? Because I do.

Susie and Noelle are best girls ever, no objections.

Oh good, Berdly, don’t ruin this completely, okay?

I fucking knew it.

Noelle, you’re going to kill him, and that’s okay with me.

Susie, stop squishing him like toothpaste!

Oh boy, I get big “final boss” energy right now…

Werewerewire?!

Okay, so I just stole from Noelle’s room.

Okay, boss time.

Shit, I should’ve healed up.

Okay, so, I died, but, I can fix that!

So, this boss is calling back to how the town’s internet has gone out, a fact I didn’t even learn until watching other content last night when I should have been sleeping, because I forgot to talk to Alphys during the brief chance I had.

Also, now both she and Ralsei have made reference to the real world outside…hmmmm…

So I guess the plot is about Google search being evil…yeah that checks out.

Bitch, did you just funny runny way?

Hmm, I’d say 50/50 odds of him being a drama Queen vs. him trying to trick Susie into caring about him.

Yep, he’s trying to score a kiss. Berdly…get a job.

Alright, let’s save Noelle, and possibly the whole town.

The “Roaring” Knight?

Oh god, the determination…who is this Knight, what is going on, and how involved are we?

Wait wait wait wait wait wait WAIT

When she described the Knight making more darkness, she said they took their blade, and showed an image of a knife. Was…was this…

HOLY SHIT IS KRIS’S NIGHT SELF THE KNIGHT?!?!

Oh. It was a giant robot. Not a statue.

Susie’s dancing!

Oh yeah, he can fly.

Resistance! Yay!

Okay, so, we sentai up in this bitch.

I wonder how the hell this story would go if we didn’t go pacifist then? Because in Chapter 1, all that really changed was how the boss was defeated in the cutscene, and like a couple details later. This is, a lot more than that.

Okay, so, three rounds of HP, punch out for her turns, just keep attacking. Got it.

Two rounds down, one to go!

Yes, eat your own Baseball, bitch!

Oh, suicide attack. Well it was just a robot.

Oh. She still has us.

Oh fuck the robot is Noelle’s mom. Fuck.

Okay, so, Queen is dead.

Oh fuck, don’t take over the world with darkness all of you, please.

The Roaring?

Oh fuck, new legend lore.

Titans, Fountains, enveloping the land in devastation. Oh jeez.

Lost eternally in an endless night…that’s not paradise. That’s hell.

QUEEN IS ALIVE?!?! AND DIDN’T KNOW ANY OF THAT?!?!

Thank you, Susie!

Okay, that’s a good ending for a second chapter, it’s dark fountain time!

Susie, please don’t turn evil.

…

And, we’re in the computer lab!

Wait, Ms. Boom? Does, does Gerson have a daughter, or wife?

Lost control laughing #3: this

I love this game so much. Time to explore town again.

Okay, Alphys does crush on Undyne still, at least.

Oops, I just let all the prisoner dogs out.

Awww, Undyne likes Alphys too!

Napstablook, I love you.

Oh shit, Asgore used to be a pig?

Oh god, this Rudy storyline is gonna be depressing all the way through, huh?

Susie, can we steal the tower of the gods?

Hey, we can actually go back to Ralsei’s dark world?!

Okay, this is gonna be interesting.

Oh thank god, we can save in the epilogue now, cool.

Oh cool, King and Queen together.

Oh my god he calls her Queenie Beanie. I love this.

So, a card and a computer fucked to make Lancer, who is a card. Okay.

Okay, so Lancer DOES know Kris’s name! Just not Ralsei’s!

New battle challenges! Yes!

Might save “Ch. 2 All-stars” for another time, though…

Perfection is the mannequin reaction.

Oh my god there’s a dedicated room for listening to music I love this

Alright, time to skedaddle back to the real world.

Okay, so Alvin is Gerson’s son, and he’s depressed. Fun.

Oh, MK and Snowy are by the creepy bunker. That’s…fun.

Okay, so, Susie scared them off after they insulted Kris, because Kris said something about the bunker…hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…

Hey, Nice Cream Guy is one of the Ice-E’s employees! Nice!

Ah, PizzaPants. Never change.

Oh hey, it’s the little guy, who’s clone is a Gaster follower. And the bird guy’s still in the library, and the donut guy is still in his car…

Hey, Catty and Bratty are becoming friends again! Cool!

Omg, Sans’s store is open. Do I…go in?

Hell yes I do!

Okay, so, Grillby’s music still, but, different interior. Interesting…

Sans, a day and 2 years in this game are not equivalent. It’s a day and 3 years.

The trousle grows further away.

Oh jeez Susie’s been drinking the milk. Oh god.

Cool, Susie’s seeing Onion too!

Oh, never mind.

A song is coming from deep under the water…either Shyren is involved, or this is gonna take a turn.

See you, Su-

Oh! Hey mom! Meet Susie!

Pie for all!

Oh my god, Susie, my heart is breaking.

Okay, so Alphys and Toriel know about the chalk. That, kinda makes Susie thinking she’d get expelled for it, really depressing.

Okay, so, Toriel and Susie are gonna make Pie together, that’s cool. Still, pretty worried about, Kris.

Uh, I just ran the sink, and, uh…

WHAT THE FUCK

OKAY SO MY SOUL IS UNDER THE SINK, KRIS WHAT ARE YOU DOING WHY IS IT BLACK OUT THE WINDOW WHERE ARE YOU GOING

WHAT THE FUCK

…so we get a cute scene with Susie and Toriel, then Susie asks where Kris is and…they do this sometimes?

I’m very concerned.

Okay, Toriel is concerned too, enough to say “hell”. Even Susie is shocked.

Okay, so, they’re coming back, uh, okay, this isn’t good, right?

Stopped the faucet, opened the drawer, and…we’re back?!

Kris what the fuck are you doing

And why couldn’t we find Asgore in the town?

Okay, so, we’re all sleeping in the living room. I, guess tomorrow’s the weekend, probably? I don’t know?

Susie, doesn’t have caring parents, I guess?

Oh god, Susie wants them to come to our world, but, Lancer is a playing card, he can’t…I don’t know. I’ll say it’s “far-fetched”.

There’s a festival, apparently. This seems…suspicious.

I’d take Ralsei, so you could take Noelle.

She’s asleep.

That, might not be good, in this context.

Okay, so, we’re asleep too, I think?

Oh god, Toriel’s tires are slashed, that can not be good, in any way.

Okay, night time, Toriel and Susie are asleep…now what are you doing, Kris?

That, knife…

Okay, so, yep, they’re the Knight, and they just opened Darkness in their living room. This is, not, good. And, the tv’s on, and the door’s unlocked…

What the fuck is happening?

Ending credits song sounds, techno? Is this more of Don’t Forget? Or a remix? I hear the lyrics at least.

“To be continued in Chapter 3” OH IT BETTER BE, TOBY

So, yeah, that's Deltarune Chapter 2. In conclusion: this explains nothing, raises 120% more questions, and overall is still an incredible, wonderful game. I also like how each Chapter so far has been almost as long as a full play through of Undertale, and yet we're still somehow only 2 sevenths of the way through. Oh yeah, did I not mention? After completing it, it brought me to a chapter select with SEVEN DIFFERENT CHAPTERS, only two of which were available. So, you know. THAT'S FUN!

In actual conclusion, please play this game, it's free, it's amazing, and also buy the soundtrack on Bandcamp so Toby can make some kinda living.

#deltarune #deltarune spoilers #deltarune chapter 2 #deltarune chapter two #deltarune chapter two spoilers #deltarune liveblog #shut up sorio #I have so many more thoughts #just give them a while to coalesce into something coherent

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oneirataxxiaa · 4 years

Text

Give Us A Little Love

Request from Anon : Oof i pressed ask before i could end it. Here we go again:"Do you trust me?" "Always" "Look,a shooting star! Make a wish." "Take my hand." "Are you...blushing?" with YJ Kaldur.

Im so sorry for the wait Anon, I had some things I had to deal with. Made it long for you to make up for it! I’ve been listening to the song ‘ Give Us A Little Love ‘ by Fallulah so I kinda based the Y/N off that? used this as bit of a vent piece, Idk. Missed a prompt cause i couldn’t fit it in. Enjoy! *opens writing angst playlist*

warnings: serious angst. mentions of suicide, swearing, neglect, trust issues?

“Give us a little love, give us a little love . We never had enough, we never had enough”

***

Trouble seemed to follow her everywhere she went.

Never able to settle down, each time she felt as though she had found herself a forever home, Y/n L/n experienced something that would send her foster parents running to send her away. The daughter of an unnamed member of the League of Assassins and a civilian, the child who dealt with horrors no one should have to witness at an age such as that, Y/n learned early on to trust no one, do what's best for herself to stay alive another day.

Y/n was raised by her mother's guild until she was old enough to fight, being subjected to the terrors dealt by the League of Assassins, her childhood was disrupted. She developed little social skills beyond basic polite greetings and formal conversations. She understood the human body, not for science exams, but to know what the fastest way to kill a person was. She could fight her way out of any battle, but place her in a social situation and she would shut down. Unable to think for herself.

Y/n was fourteen when she was put into foster care, after Talia Al Gaul became pregnant with a son and there was a new heir to the league. Tossed away like a bag of trash, her mother didn't stand up for her, and her father wouldn't care for her. Pushed into the system and forgotten.

"What happened now?" Mrs Davis asked her husband. She looked tired, resting her head on her hand, her eyes half closed. Her husband of ten years shook his head.

"She punched someone, one of the upperclassmen bumped into her and she reacted by sending them across the hallway" the man was in his early forties, tired from work and stressed from the current situation.

"God, what are we going to do with her Luke? We can't home-school her, and she refuses to see a therapist! we've tried punishing her, rewarding good behaviour, doing nothing! I don't know what to do anymore" the woman sounded desperate. Her and her husband thought a good idea would be to take in a seventeen year old trouble child through fostering. Over the three months they had her, nothing quelled her radical behaviour.

Luke Davies sighed. Exhaling and rubbing a hand over his eyes with frustration. "There's nothing we can do" he paused, hating the idea that crossed his mind. "we'll have to put her back into the system. Our health and life is important as well, so, we have to take care of that" his wife nodded, looking down at her hands, tears of guilt pricking in the corners of her brown eyes, becoming heavy.

"I'll call Ruth in the morning then".

Beyond the kitchen, Y/n sat with her back against the wall, a scowl on her face as tears threatened to spill. 'emotions betray us, control them' her mothers voice rang in her ears, a memory of toddlers and nightmares and staying awake hoping and praying the monsters from the green pool wouldn't come for her. Y/n sniffed, her tears drying as she willed them to do. The teen hiked her bag further up her shoulder and took a breath, walking past the entrance to the kitchen and out the front door, ignoring the yells of her foster parents, Y/n started into a run, disappearing into the streets as dusk set in.

She didn't know when she ended up a the waters edge, but it was plenty after dark. The sun long gone and her foster parents left far behind. Y/n walked along the boardwalk, feet kicking at pebbles on the ground, sending them skipping across the concrete. Giving herself an idea, she picked up the pebbles as she walked, placing each small stone into the pocket of her jacket until she had quite the collection growing there. Further down the coast she could see a peir, stretching out over the water. That was her destination.

Voices were heard to her left, making the girl turn to see a couple whispering to each other, on dragging the other - who was laughing - towards the closed fairground further down. Y/n frowned at the freedom the two seemed to think they had, too distracted by each other to care about consequences of their actions. That was dangerous, a thrill that many couples took the chance on as far as she knew. As far as she knew, having no experience in that department anyway. The couple vanished from sight and their laughter faded into the night like a memory.

The concrete ground turned to wood, and the crunching of stones turned to occasional creaks and groans from the old wooden plants supporting the jetty. Y/n walked the length of it, reaching the end and standing still. The girl enjoyed the smell of sea salt, the crashing ambience of the waves and calls of birds gliding over the water. The moonlight seemed only to amplify the wild beauty of the ocean, making her want to stay there forever. Y/n picked a stone from her pocket, flicking it out with her wrist, it didn't even skip. Simply crashing into the water with a dissatisfying plop. The teen tried again, angling it further down and still failing to achieve the skip she wanted.

"you should bend your whole body, it helps get the right angle" Y/n jumped back, pulling a pocket knife from her jeans and flicking the blade out. Her eyes were narrowed at the person who snuck up on her out of nowhere. "its alright, I'm not planning on hurting you" raising his hands in a calming motion. Y/n didn't move. "if I was planning to, I would have done it when you didn't know I was here don't you think?" he reasoned, motioning for her to put down the weapon. A minute passed of the boy eyeing the weapon, then looking her up and down. Any movement either made sent the other into a split second panic. Seconds ticked by, and slowly, Y/n lowered the knife, tucking it back into her pocket. The boy let out a breath and walked a little closer. Now that he was out of the shadow of the buildings on the shore, Y/n could see his features clearly. A strange suit with two handles strapped on his back. Dark skin, glossy from the salt water, blonde hair in a close shaved buzz-cut, and pale turquoise eyes that looked darker in the night air.

"can i ask what you're doing out here on your own, throwing rocks into the water?" he walks closer, eventually standing beside her.

"you may not ask" she replies, taking another rock in her hand, pausing and considering the boys first words to her. Y/n bent sideways at the waist, bending her knees and swinging her arm, being sure to flick her wrist. With the added momentum and angle, the rock bounced three times of the surface of the water before sinking on the forth landing and vanishing under the waves. Content with the one victory, Y/n dug out the rest of the rocks in her pocket, holding out her full hand and dropping them into the water with a series of splashes. She watched the fall.

"A waste of rocks if you ask me" The boy said, now leaning against one of the support poles.

"I didn't"

"didn't what?"

"ask you, I didn't ask you" Y/n clarified, sitting down on the wood, watching the waves like a mesmerising swirl of hypnotising spirals, pulling her deeper in. It felt dark in her mind, dark and scary. She felt her own emotions smothering her, suffocating her and clawing to get out.

A tear fell.

Almost instantly, the boy was by her side, sitting on the wood beside her, legs hanging over the edge in the cold water. He didn't say anything, but every action he made clarified the idea that he would listen.

Y/n opened her mouth, throwing words into the wind, venting frustration, anger and confusion, her words a spiral of fear and unfamiliarity. She felt afraid, afraid she would get a proper family. It was her fault, her behaviour and actions drove these kind people away. But she could help it, couldn't stop herself from doing things that made foster parents scared to have her around them. She couldn’t control herself some times, lashing out in fear and anger to those around her. People were scared of her, avoiding her in the hallways, refusing to work with her for projects. It hurt, to be isolated, but she knew it was her fault. She closed her mouth, halting her words and looking down at the water, tears falling freely now, though there were few. She didn’t know why she was speaking to him, telling him everything that had happened. She didn’t want to

“you’re allowed to react how you have been, nobody should expect you to stay quiet through everything that happened” The boy said, crossing his legs underneath himself. Y/n stayed silent, looking out at the water. “do you feel better? letting everything out?”

She nodded, raising to her feet, Y/n kicked her foot against the ground, frowning.

“Uh- thank you-”

“Kaldur” he said.

“Thank you Kaldur” she nodded, sticking her hands in her pockets and turning on her heel to head back towards the Davis’ house. Leaving the strange boy behind her.

***

It shouldn’t have surprised her that her foster parents had called to return her. She found herself sitting in the police station, being picked up by a cop car when the Davis’ reported her as a runaway. Sitting with her head rolled back on the chair, her legs kicked out in front of her and her hands behind her head, Her mind was slow, running over scenarios in her head of what would happen to her. Would she be thrown back into the system? Would they put her out on her own? She would be eighteen in a month. Would they just throw her out on her own, to deal with what lay ahead with nowhere to turn?

Y/n looked conflicted, alone and confused. Which is what interested one of the training detectives. He was young, around eighteen or nineteen, but his connections helped jump start his dream career.

“What are you in for?” He asked. Y/n looked up. This one had dark hair and blue eyes with a spark in them that made her wonder what was going on in his head. He looked like he was planning something, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to find out exactly what it was going on in his head.

“Running away apparently” she shrugged, sitting up and crossing one leg over the other in a more comfortable position. Dick frowned, sitting himself in the chair across from her and leaning his arms on his knees. He didn’t wear a uniform like most of the officers in the station, having on a blue shirt, black cotton jacket and jeans. He looked almost casual, at home in the station among officers much older them himself. But something told Y/n he was smarter then he looked.

“Why’d you run away?”

“Why should I tell you?” Suspicion rose on her voice. Dick sighed and shrugged his shoulders.

“I’ve done the same stuff, when I first moved in with my adopted dad I ran away three times in the first week” that made Y/n laugh a little, shaking her head with amusement.

“In one week?”

“yep, was probably my best achievement at that point in my life” he grinned, “I was thirteen as well”

“Good on you” the girl nodded, picking at the corner of her shirt, pulling a thread out and watching the fabric bunch up.

“Yeah, then I settled into the house, and well, thats that I guess”. He trailed off, making Y/n frown and look down.

“Its not that easy”

“Its not, not when you don’t try” He looked like he was trying to help, but he was just pushing her further out of her comfort zone.

“I did try!” Y/n exclaimed. “I tried so hard to be a good kid, I can’t help it . . .” her outburst faded quickly and Dick got to his feet.

“I’m going to make a quick call, i’ll be back, I promise” his smile was infectious, and Y/n returned it, looking at the floor again as she ran a hand over her face and then rested her arms on her knees, an uncomfortable position, but she didn’t seem to care about it in the moment. Time passed, and Y/n seemed to be ignored by officers who walked past. The occasional person would send a smile her way but ultimately, she felt like she was on an island, in the middle of the sea of people who were judging her for being there.

“Alright, you’re all set!” Dick appeared out of nowhere, phone and keys in hand. His sudden appearance made Y/n start in surprise, looking at him with wide eyes for a second before calming down and settling again.

“What?” Y/n asked, confused, getting to her feet and following the boy as he gestured for her to follow him. They walked from the office, out into the hallway and towards the lobby room, filled with various civilians and criminals being brought in for holding.

“I, being myself, made a call to my dad, we’ve got this big house in Gotham City, and there’s heaps of room for someone to stay, even with Tim living there and Barbara dropping in from time to time” Y/n didn’t recognise any of the names he dropped, but things were starting to click in her mind. “I’m Dick Grayson by the way” and that was when it all came together in her mind.

“You’re Bruce Wayne's son!” The girl stopped walking, eyes wide in surprise. She wasn’t sure how she didn’t see it before, the man looked just like the pictures of Bruce and his kids that she had seen on the news online. He was usually pictured with Bruce, and a shorter boy with dark hair. Seeing her reaction to it, Dick took a breath and rolled his eyes. As if he had to deal with such reactions on the daily - which was probably the actual case.

“Yep, now come on, or do you want to stay here moping all day?” the boy grinned and walked out of the building. Y/n looked back at the officers, milling around the station, nothing interesting catching her eyes. Taking a breath and holding it for a moment, Y/n followed him out the door as she let said breath out.

The car park was fairly empty, considering how early in the morning it was, and that most people had just walked there to avoid traffic considering the station was central in the city of Bludhaven. Dick lead her towards a car parked on the far side. Y/n wasn’t an expert on cars, but she could tell that this was expensive - far more then she could afford - and certainly in the price range of a billionaires son.

“Can I ask where we are going?” Y/n questioned when he opened the door for her. He nodded, closing the door behind her and walking around to the drivers side of the vehicle. Closing his own door and pushing the keys into the ignition, he replied.

“I called Bruce, as I said, he’s finalising some paperwork to foster you - so we are heading to the manor in Gotham! Not too long of a drive”. Y/n stared at the dashboard in front of her with wide eyes, processing what was happening. A few hours before, she was sobbing and venting everything to some random boy on the pier, and now she was moving in with a billionaire. It was a startling change, the suddenness of it started crashing down on her. “Do you have anything you want to pick up from your old place?” Dick asked, turning the wheel to get them out onto the road, following the signs towards Gotham City.

“No” was her simple reply, tucking up her legs, Y/n positioned herself to look out the window, watching the city flash by, a swirl of bright lights and dark corners and alleys.

***

“Are you sure you’re ready to work with everyone?” Dick asked, tapping on the zeta panel, his stance was casual enough, but his eyes kept glancing towards Y/n checking up on her to make sure she was alright. Something he’d been doing since she’d moved into Wayne manor all those months ago. Y/n herself however felt nervousness curling in the base of her stomach, clutching at her chest and making her feel a little sick. Not like she was going to throw up, but it certainly wasn’t helping to steady her nerves. The girl looked towards him when he spoke, shaking her head.

“I’ll be fine Dick, I already know most of the Team anyways, i’ve known Kaldur longer then i’ve known you” Dick shook his head with a small laugh leaving his lips. A beep emitted from the panel, and their location was locked in.

“Alright, first official team mission here we come then!”

“what are you going on about, you’ve been on missions before”

“that’s not what I- you know what, no, i’m not letting you have this win” he grinned, securing his mask and walking up to the platform, Y/n following him.

“sore loser?” she asked, matching his grin and standing beside her adopted brother.

“says you” was his quick reply before they were swallowed by the bright yellow light of the zeta tube. It was always strange to travel this way, stretched across a far distance only to be snapped back into place where they had set their destination. This mixed with the feeling of unease that already settled within her system made her clutch her stomach as they reappeared in the zeta entrance to the cave the mission room sprawling out in front of them, various heroes spread out, chatting amongst themselves as if there wasn’t a serious mission about to occur. Heads raised when her and her brothers names were announced by the computer, most turned back to their conversations, but one stayed up, looking towards them, and eventually walking in their direction. Y/n heard him before she saw him.

“Nightwing said you’d be joining us” Kaldur smiled as a greeting, “Are you alright? you look like you’re going to be sick” the smile turned to a neutral expression of concern, something that seemed to appear a lot when Y/n was around. He always had an eye out on her, to make sure she was alright, make sure she was feeling her best. Y/n smiled softly.

“I’m fine, just a lot of people that I haven’t met” she replied. When Y/n first encountered the Team, she had just started vigilante work with Nightwing, and was only introduced to Artemis, Wally and Zatanna, and reintroduced to Kaldur. It was awkward for a few weeks before the two fell into a comfortable friendship. Still confiding in each other with troubles and fears, but their relationship with each other was more stable then the random meetups on the pier. They became close, usually found together when they both had free time. Y/n could confidently say that he was one of her closest friends, alongside Nightwing and Zatanna.

His expression changed, from concern to understanding, the smile returning.

“you’ll be alright, its not a big mission, just some surveillance” his words helped her a little, the nerves calming down. He rested a hand on her shoulder as perhaps some kind of reassuring act, but it sent a strange feeling through her mind.

“yeah, alright” she swallowed, looking forwards, and hoping beyond hope that the burning feeling rising to her cheeks and ears was covered by her domino mask. Unfortunately, luck didn’t seem to be on her side at that moment.

“Y/n, are you . . . blushing?” Kaldur asked, drawing her attention back to him, instead of hyper fixating on making the blush fade.

“No” she replied, glad that her training with Nightwing and Batman left her with a good control over her voice and expressions - the blush was something she had little to no control over unfortunately. She continued however, the question throwing her into a defensive reply. “Its not your business anyways”. That made her cringe at her own words and guilt crawled in her. Kaldur seemed to let out a breath, dropping his hand from her shoulders and stepping back a little.Y/n frowned at the movement. Had she offended him? Was what she said - lying - wrong? Y/n looked at the ground, fiddling now with the corner of her suits belt, her hands moving with nervous energy. Nightwing announced the mission details, explaining what each squad would be doing. He would be keeping an eye on everything from the cave, but Y/n herself was on a lookout team with Kaldur and Zatanna. Once the group split up into the teams and started heading out, Zatanna approached Y/n, smiling.

“Where’s Kaldur? I assumed he’d be with you” she looked confused, around as if Kaldur would be hiding.

“I’m not sure, he left a little while ago” Y/n turned, and Kaldur was indeed gone from where he had been standing. Zatanna lit up when she spotted him by the Zeta Tube.

“There he is, come on Y/h/n” Zatanna walked towards him, the other female following quickly behind. They were silent when travelling to their location. Even Zatanna seemed to see there was some sort of strange tension between the two heroes, though not sure where it had sprouted from. As far as Zatanna understood, the two were close friends. After arriving at the location, Kaldur spoke to Zatanna quietly for a moment, the girl nodded and Kaldur walked towards Y/n, holding his hand out.

“take my hand, please?” he asked, making Y/n frown as she couldn’t decern the tone of voice he was using. So, she took his hand and he pulled her off to the side, out of the earshot of Zatanna, who took over the job of keeping an eye out for what they were looking for.

“Do you trust me?” He asked, sitting her down on the ground and sitting across from her.

“Always” Y/n replied, quicker then she would have liked. Kaldur nodded.

“Then why don’t you tell me whats wrong? You’ve been cold lately, colder then usual, and I want to make sure you are alright, and if there is anything that I can do to help you” Y/n looked down, scratching her arm nervously. She mustn’t have been as subtle as she would have liked then. Kaldur sat up a little straighter. “I don’t mind you taking your time, but I would like to know if I can help you in any way”

“I like you” she replied. Cringing at her bluntness. He was definitely sitting up straighter now. “And I don’t know how to deal with it - and i’m sorry if I've been rude to you, or anything like that” she paused. “I’m just not sure what to do, and I don’t think i’m ready for anything serious, but i’d like to see where it goes and-” Y/n paused to take a breath. Thats when Kaldur interjected.

“Y/n, slow down a little bit please, you don’t need to explain anything to me” he smiled.

“I’m sorry”

“don’t be, you don’t need to apologise for experiencing hardships, you take your time and take steps at your own pace, and i’ll be right there beside you when you need me” He got to his feet, offering his hand to help her up.

“Sorry- uh, thank you Kaldur” she smiled, and he returned the expression.

“If you guys are done? We’ve got some movement down there” Zatanna called to them from where she was set, watching over the empty cortyard.

“We should probably get back to work” Y/n laughed nervously.

“Probably” Kaldur replied, the two walking towards Zatanna.

Some relationships aren’t sudden. They require communication between both parties, settling on what best fits them. And Y/n? She just needed time. So Kaldur would wait until she was ready.

***

THIS TOOK 10000 YEARS . HERE YOU GO

onto DCACB chapter 3

requests are open! tag list : @silverdecepticon93 @izzieg3987 @starr60

#young justice #young justice oneshot #young justice x reader #young justice headcanons #Kaldur'ahm #kaldur x reader #kaldur #aqualad x reader #aqualad #batsis #the team #oneshot #nightwing #zatanna

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dropsofletters · 4 years

Text

split-ends and break-ups

title: split-ends and break-ups pairing: park chanyeol/reader genre: band!au/ex-boyfriend!au/enemies to lovers!au summary: when participating in a battle of the bands to earn a position in some discography, she realizes that one of the contestants is none other than her ex. musically and physically blessed, as well as extremely sweet chanyeol is there to compete, though it falls upon his shoulders to let his competitive blood destroy his past love’s chance at success…or he could simply remember all that happened before their fall out. type: fluff/angst/romance word count: 9,688

No plethora of convincing quotes, astonishing inspirational speeches and phrases along the lines of ‘it will be alright’ could make her believe in hope. Such a harsh mindset is the necklace that hangs around her neck, digging into her skin uncomfortably, glowing in the dark when she sees the flickering lights of her apartment casting its power down on to the living room. Somewhere, her bandmate must be sleeping, specifically the guitarist, but instead of seeking for her flat pillow and her rusty bedsheets, she opts to stay up late once again, pen moving against her old notebook, writing down lyrics while her bass peacefully rests on her lap.

Not that it is any closer to sounding in its heavy tune, considering that her brain is completely dried from inspiration, wondering why musicians must suffer in order to be big. The best bands did it—she has tried to convince herself for the past two years in which they are played small gigs in local bars—, but they are truly getting nowhere. Once her apartment was only shared with herself and now, looking to save some more money to record a few songs, she had to share it with her deep sleeper of a guitarist. Somewhere in between reaching her dreams, she has lost herself. Refrigerator void of food. Soul void of happiness. Mind void of ideas.

It’s a cycle as of now.

Everything burns. The ache of her legs, seated atop a couch that can only pain her so much, cheap to its core. Her heart, it burns, simply because she doesn’t know what to do anymore—if being a secretary is even an option now that a bassist didn’t work, if people were right when they said that she should have simply stuck to something simpler. Her fingers push her bass down, trying to find a rhyme that isn’t ‘love’, for she is tired to writing songs about loving for one night and forgetting in the other. Tired is what she is, of everything and anything, of wishing for stardom but not even being able to look up at the stars in her own goddamned apartment, too tiny and closed to even have proper, wide windows.

Brand new is not her bass when she comes up with a brief hook, one that does not make her happy, the corners of her mouth turning down when anger finally lifts her off the couch. Her legs creak under her weight, putting her bass down and placing her hands on each side of her temples, fingers caressing over the skin around her parietal bones. Everything seems to be falling down for her, flashing back to the times in which people had told her that she was good—but not outstanding enough to be a musician, a well-known at that.

It’s too hard to forget when all she has ever dreamed of is to be on a stage and play the bass.

Three in the morning and the moonlight is testing her when she turns off the lights and can’t even reach for her keys, wanting nothing more to get out and look for some snacks to have in that twenty-four-hour convenience store a few blocks away. Scared, she is not, as if the world and all the bad in it paralyzed because of her disdain. Her steps are quickened, bag tossed over her shoulder and crossing her waist, a t-shirt falling halfway on her thighs, her leggings with a few holes here and there—clear notification that she was probably wearing her pajamas. Trying is not in her vocabulary anymore.

Not when the moon looks just as hopeless as she is, the wind barely blowing in such a damned place. The butts of cigarettes rest on the streets, the music is far too distant to even be pleasurable, broken glass shatters under the weight of anyone’s shoes, the drinking habits of the city toxic in its vast meaning. A deep sigh is enough to make her feel like this city doesn’t even hold oxygen anymore, simply living off monoxide. Some people are sleeping on the streets, highlight of the poverty that no one does anything to fight for, and she closes her eyes while quickening her steps.

Musicians are never fully happy, someone once told her, or maybe she read it in a magazine. What a curse that comes with the most beautiful of unions—through tunes and melodies, comes saddening memories of never reaching the dream she wished for.

On behalf of destiny, something stops her, a rock on the way that almost has her tripping over her own feet. Flip-flops are definitely not a good idea to go out in, but it is enough of a distraction to have her rolling her eyes. Leaning her hand against the brick wall by her side, she takes the rock out of her shoes, looking to the side simply to catch a glimpse of the harsh surface, covered by something that she can’t quite describe. A pamphlet, she realizes soon after, folding it in between her hands to bring it closer to her face.

A few guitars, the typical, half-assed job graphic designers do in most occasions when describing music. What catches her attention is the price of this competition, a battle of the bands with the chance of signing with a discography and some money with a few zeroes added to it. It’s enticing, glorious, enough of a push and put in such a place for her to save the pamphlet inside her pocket.

In the future, this will only be a flashback for her memoir, when everything was difficult before that battle of the bands turns her and her band into stars.

Or she sure hopes her future reads out that way.

🥁

“Maybe, we should get a band tattoo in commemoration of this moment.”

Slipping the yellow straw in between her lips to take a sip of her smoothie, she lifts her eyebrows at one of her bandmates, the vocalist to be exact. “I don’t believe your choices in tattoos, Hee Young.” She adds, looking at Hee Young as she picks from the variety of noodles in the gas station little convenience store. Maybe, this is part of the rock lifestyle, simply living off whatever snack is easier to pop in some boiling water or in the microwave. Not caring is the new black, some may say if you ask them. “Someone with a butterfly tattoo with the name of her ex on her left ass-cheek is definitely not a person to be trusted.”

Hee Young lifts her gaze, puffy and frizzy hair short and resting under her earlobes, pierced from top to bottom. Her voice is sweet compared to how tough she looks, tall and long, unapproachable at its finest. “Says the bassist with the bright yellow pants. Learn how to dress and then we can talk aesthetics.”

The only male in the group, and the drummer, pops his head from behind a rack of sunglasses, sporting ones with hearts on them. Andrew’s softened heart is too big to even be in a group with three of the most complicated, least understanding women in the world. The youngest simply wants to have fun, he says, loving the process of learning more than the success lifestyle. “Don’t cause a fuss.” He says, embarrassment coating his words. “You two are always fighting.”

“She’s the Paul to my John, let us be.” She argues, taking another sip of her smoothie before nodding her head towards the bathrooms outside the shop. “Should I go check up on Seong Im? She hasn’t gotten out in a while.”

“That’s why our diet should not only consist of noodles and salty, greasy snacks.” The youngest and yet wisest Andrew indicates, pulling the pink sunglasses down his slim nose. “It causes diarrhea.”

“Gross.” Hee Young whispers, putting the noodle packs back down on their spots. “What would you buy for a normal dinner? I think we deserve it after getting accepted in the battle of the bands.”

Andrew bites down on his bottom lip, quirking the corner of them up soon after. “…Salad sounds healthy.”

“I doubt we’re going to find vegetables in some gas station, Drew.” She argues, only to earn a shrug from Andrew.

“It may be about time for us to stop buying stuff in the gas station, then.”

“We have one hour of being a casted band in some contest and we’re already speaking as we can afford that.” Her voice is uneven when a smile appears on her face, patting her hand against Andrew’s shoulder. “But if it makes you happy, buy whatever. I’ll go look for Seong Im and wait in the car.”

What she hears in the background is the sound of Hee Young trying to convince Andrew of getting some snacks, to what he can simply deny her offers. The air fills her lungs when she opens the door, looking around the half-empty gas station at this hour of the night, some of the workers having dinner by the pavement. Her movements are slow when her fingers look in the pockets of the yellow pants that Hee Young always curses, reaching for the keys and twirling it in between her skilled bassist fingers.

Yellow is a color of happiness. The sun. Her first guitar and maybe, even the color of the dress she wore when she had her first kiss. When things were easier, definitely so, when musicians seemed cool instead of troublesome and filled with worries. The straw brings her happiness, too, her greens inserted in a drink that has her sighing at the precious coldness, the color seeping from her body now that her band got accepted after their audition. They are going to be able to compete for a contract with a discography, something that any musician is fighting and thriving for, to be treated like royalty in a world of warriors.

Her knuckles knock against the bathroom door, hearing a loud: “What?!” coming from the inside. That voice, definitely a bit obstinate, belongs to her guitarist perfectly.

“Are you okay in there?”

“Yep. Having the time of my life!”

“What happened? Indigestion?”

“…Don’t wanna talk about it.”

With a smile playing on her features, she nods her head. “I’ll be in the car when you get out.”

Near the shared car between her guitarist and herself, however, there is another car parked, a man standing beside it to fuel it. His back is turned to the workers, his profile clear to her and oh lord, does she know those features. A tall man with a nice profile, plush lips matching his slightly wide nose, big eyes innocent when he is doing most tasks, determined when playing the drums and a haze when he used to look at her. Those big hands, one resting on the windows of the car, had wrapped around her waist, rested on her thighs and explored all of her once or a hundred times of her life, in that damned car of his, with the music blasting just like it does right now, the people inside it the bandmates that she had once shared spots with.

A bassist for another band—Park Chanyeol’s band—she had once been. At the time, she was dating him, like the poor, oblivious woman that had fallen in love with him simply to break it off thanks to musical differences. Chanyeol wanted to experiment, while she wanted to continue to grow in the punk and rock spectrum of music, leaving them more separated than they had ever been. Three years later and she is in a new group, while he continues to shine in his beauty, unaware of her existence and yet, so close to her.

Something tells her that this is not the last time she is going to see him, much more when she gets closer and tries to get inside her car from the back doors, not wanting to be noticed by him, only to see a name-tag just like the one resting on top of her white tank top, reading his name and the title of the battle of the bangs competition.

No way.

No fucking way.

She was going against the band that had created her as an artist.

When Chanyeol lifts his gaze, she plops her body down in the backseat, looking up at the ceiling in hopes of not being caught by him. What she needs right now is to figure out the reason of her nervousness, why competitiveness settles inside her body in pure revenge for having him break-up with her thanks to the constant arguments about music. What he was once said was ‘great music’ could never compare to hers, she tries to argue with herself, though her mind tells her that Chanyeol’s group is fully capable of winning, too—

But no.

They are not.

Not when this is her chance of finally showing that ex-boyfriend of hers that her vision was right. Pride, oh such a damned thing, and the reason why she sits up to look at Chanyeol’s old car drive by. Pride has become her best friend just now.

🥁

When on stage, she feels like a different woman.

People are told what to do eighty percent of their lives; some understandable, some mere stigmas, some simply because of the individuals they surround themselves with. In her opinion, though, her bass gives her rules that adjust to her. She is not broke and misunderstood when on top of the stage, rehearsing in that same place in which they are going to perform just a month from them. She is not the girl-next-door turned into a nightmare when the bass pumps from her veins and her arteries to the crowd, musicians that equally appreciate and envy, all rats seeking to thrive from the same source of food. Some are behind the stage, others are resting on some of the seats, other seated in the floor but when she turns around and shares a smile with Andrew, she feels like she belongs.

Women are expected to be a million things, straight-up perfect. They are expected to be or not to be, never in between, never able to show that they are weak or if they are, they should cry for everything and anything, unable to help themselves in the eyes of the world. In her silence, people would think her troublesome personality comes from a space of clear trust issues, but that is not the case. She found other people just like her, who lifted her up when they needed to fight together. The joyful Andrew, too sweet to even be true, kicked out of his high school for bad grades back in the day and still fighting for a happy ending. The comedic Seong Im, definitely gorgeous enough to be a model and still, releasing some of the best guitar solos she has ever heard. Hee Young, the one that put them together, her middle school enemy and now, her best friend. People who had given their life out to craft music and now were fighting for a chance to be alive.

To be a band.

Her foot rests on the side of Andrew’s drum-set, smiling to him when she moves her fingers on her bass with tranquility, not missing a single tempo, the two in charge of making a song much more understood. Much to her disappointment, however, there is a point when she can’t even listen to her bass, the amplifier releasing an elongated, high, shrilling noise before her bass comes to a halt, though her movements don’t. her eyes widen, turning around and trying to turn the device on with her foot, only to see the lack of a flickering light that either shined green or red. Her eyes look for her guitarist, Seong Im losing her tempo thanks to the lack of the bass, the song falling flat when all they can hear are Seong Im’s late chords and Hee Young’s booming voice.

The crowd suddenly starts laughing, because life is a fucking sitcom and everyone needs to play along to their roles. People like them are meant to follow the stigma that is expected from them—to fail. Her fingers hook around her bass, settling it down as she rushes down the set of stairs that led down to the crowd’s spots. Thus she rushes around them, walking towards the backstage area, watching a lot of people get ready, either look-wise or in the music spectrum, though at the depths of musicians, mostly guitarists, she gets to see the big amount of cables that connected to the amplifiers and microphones, pushing a few people out of the way with her rushing, the pink beret on her head almost falling off it from the commotion.

By the cables and amplifiers, there are two men seated. One of them shorter than the other, bulkier, a cigarette falling from between his lips, the slit on his eyebrow and the rounded cheeks clearly making out the figure of the vocalist of Chanyeol’s band. Sam, the precious Sam that had been the one to put the two together, the first person to put a cigarette in between her lips, the friend that would accompany her to their first gigs, the songwriter of their group before Chanyeol and herself took the lead. Sam has always bled music, just like the past lovers do, yet he seems to be so passive about it, peaceful even.

Chanyeol and her could never do that.

By Sam’s side, however, much more obstinate and ambitious comes the magician that always captures her heart when he stares up at her, reminder of the days in which he made her feel like a goddess by pressing his lips to the spaces in her knuckles only to profess a passionate love for her, deep and profound. He would always look at her with wide eyes then, and to see him exchange that glance with her once again is nostalgia at its finest. It brings the food she had eaten earlier up her throat, the ache of her chest suddenly making her realize just how much she had changed from when she had started her path to music stardom.

Her closed-off shoes kick his knee, making him hiss when he holds it close to his chest. “So is this how we’re playing now? Are you sabotaging me?” The Chanyeol from the past would never be able to do such thing, too filled with softness inside the broadness of him to ever sabotage her. His legs lift him up from the floor simply to shake his head.

“I would never do that! I did not even know you were competing until I saw you up the stage!” Chanyeol argues, his voice a bit lifted in tone thanks to the ache in his knee, eyebrows moving with every word that escape his plush lips. A part of her, deep inside her brain, is telling her that she has got it twisted. Chanyeol is not one of those crazy men in the industry, and yet, she is here doubting him.

“You’re the only person here, though.” She argues, watching as people surround them in needs of hearing something more. “It would not surprise me. It was always about competition in between us two—”

Chanyeol releases a soft breath, reaching over to where she is simply to place a hand over her babbling mouth. “It was never like that. You were the one that saw it like that.”

Her tongue sticks out to get him off, though it works fairly soon, having his big palm running across his dark tee to get the saliva off. “Okay, so who did it? My amplifier is clearly disconnected and it was not like that before!”

Apart from being her ex-boyfriend, Chanyeol had once been her best friend. It’s shrilling to see such a tight bond of when they were younger, sharing anecdotes over bass solos and drum-kits, turn to dust now that they are older. Maybe, that is what love does—it destroys people, leaving them like a shell of what they used to be, or simply turning good memories into bitter ones. There are hundreds of songs she can’t sing anymore in fear of remembering him, the only man she has ever truly loved, the one person who has slowed down her world and turned it into beauty before they decided to shoot it down.

The sound of sweet laughter has her turning around, the warmth of Chanyeol’s body seeping through her skin when her back is turned to him. “We were just playing around with the cables. Chill.” One of the member of the duos competing adds, shrugging her tanned shoulders and crossing her arms over her chest.

“…So you were the one to do it?”

“We were trying to connect our amplifier and fucked it up. There are too many wires there, honey. I’m a bassist, not an engineer.”

Something about the woman with the orange hair, definitely bleached to utter lifelessness, speaks about the world as it is today. When people suddenly became swords instead of the battlers, wanting nothing more than to hurt those who got close to them or entered their territory. People cannot age, they cannot be better, they have to remain mediocre just like them. The world is all about surviving, but how can one survive when its entire population wants to slaughter each other? “I’m not playing games with you. You can’t do that type of shit. It’s not a game to me. My entire band looked bad because of you.”

“With a name like that, I doubt I did much work.” The woman says, her lips parting to retort to her comment, though the tall man behind her speaks before she could.

“Hey, calm down. You don’t have to talk to her like that.”

“It’s a competition. It’s what people do.”

Her fists bawl together, nails clinging to her skin when she pushes her body forward, ready to launch a punch on this woman’s face, a side of her that she had never seen suddenly growing inside her. They are fighting for a spot in a discography, only to be manufactured versions of who they really are, their friendships highlighted for the crowd to eat up like candy. That is as good as it gets, she imagines, stress taking the best of her when she nears the other bassist, only to be stopped by a pair of long and skinny arms wrapped around her, familiar to her skin when his booming voice can only whisper to her to lay off.

Not in those words, exactly, Chanyeol is intelligent enough to tell her that everything is going to be okay.

All force leaves her body, this demon that overtakes her when realizing that her dream is only a few fingers away and yet, she can’t grasp it. The sabotaging woman is angry, as it seems, placing one hand over her chest and cursing her out. Her name rolls off her tongue easily, like she knows her, the only thing this bassist is capable of seeing is her mistakes. Instead, she gives a glimpse of her back, turning round to see the long column of Chanyeol’s neck, his Adam’s apple prominent, the neck in which she used to hide her face in her toughest times and now, she feels like if she tried, she wouldn’t recognize the man in front of her.

“Hey, just ignore her. You’ll get disqualified if you fight. You’re not like this.” He tells her, as if repeating what she already knows.

She’s not like this.

But she has to for the dream.

“I will. I just—I—” Her voice is cut off when she finally catches a glimpse of her bandmates, all waiting for her. There are moments in life in which she feels lost, suddenly wondering what happened to the sweeter side of life. One of those memories come from them; those three people that see her every day, Sam and Chanyeol…all definitely a reminder of the golden woman she used to be, now desperate, clawing to the bits of dreaming that are left for her. “I’m sorry I blamed you.”

“Hey—”

Without much due, she goes over to her bandmates, welcomed in arms that wrap around her and make her feel safe. She doesn’t know the person she used to be in the past or the one that hopes in the future, but she wants to better this version of her. Of now. And she wants to do it as peacefully as possible.

On the stage, she is not her split-ends or her cheap clothing, she is not the roughness of her fingertips or the troubled financial status she is going through. On stage, she is an artist. On stage, she feels like she can breathe.

And no one can get through her path to the spotlight, that is for damn sure.

🥁

Her feet barely touch the ground, preparations for the big night of performance taking the best of her, sleep ridden body resting against a comfortable seat, trying to ease the ache on her limbs. Her fingers carefully play the bass, a little bit softer than normally, coming up with whatever is going on through her brain as she wonders if she should go back home, wrap herself in the blankets on her bed and lay her back on a grainy mattress. That, or she could stay here, being one with the empty practice room, getting used to the lights on her, finding inspiration on the beautiful notebooks they were gifted thanks to the competition and practicing a bit more with this equipment she can’t get enough of.

Over anything, she is a music freak. The type of person that sat down during her recess at school simply to read the old music books in the library, the one that had fallen in love with another musician when she really felt like dating. The type of person who would only stop her crying if she listened to music when she was younger, or the type of person that does not bleed disappointment in her lyrics or tunes, but instead focuses on showcasing the million parts of her heart that connect with a note. Be it D or E or even B, whatever she feels is painted in hues of colors.

Sometimes, the words in the paper do more than talk to her. Sometimes, they get to be alive, as well.

But she is not a singer. Damn her and her voice, she has always thought she is a bit too rough, for she doesn’t have that angelic nature that comes with a singer, that charisma that connects a person and brings them to tears. Perhaps, the sound of her bass would never be the tranquility to a person’s hearts, but the lyrics behind her own band are her own. Someone out there would learn to breathe with happiness again with her own hopefulness, coming from the depths of her still innocent soul that asks for a happy ending.

Or a happy development. A happy beginning never happened, either way.

But it will happen, it sure will.

The sound of a person’s voice in the otherwise empty practice room captured her attention, making her halter her movements as she turns her face to the side, almost poetically. The music is what bounds people for life; a dedicated song, a handwritten piece, anything can be a reminder of the most atrocious or beautiful moments of life. In this case, a deep voice fills the air with the sound of words she had written years ago—stupid, lovesick, the type of song that would have made her giggle and now has her rolling her eyes while some kind of feeling settles in her gut.

Besides all memories that she shares with Chanyeol, songwriting is one of them. It is as if they are one and the same, like someone copied and pasted their artistic soul into the same person. Though, they are not quite like soulmates, breaking up with Park Chanyeol felt like the worst moment of her life, being ripped apart in half with what they had become. Second chances never came, too bitter because of the one thing that connected them. What had once been the reason behind their ‘hey, you like that song too?!’ became the end of their relationship.

Funny, considering Chanyeol was the first one to tell her nothing would happen to the band they dated…and he kept his promise, until she decided to leave for something ‘more of her own’. His own heartbreak heightened then, telling her if their friendship and the future of their group was meaningless to her. At the time, it was, and now that she is older she wonders just how much things could have changed if only they stopped competing against each other. Or, for the matter, trying to push their own beliefs on the other when they just wanted to change.

People grow…they can’t ever stay the same, and to expect that from someone is deadly for any type of relationship. Platonic or romantic.

That song he is singing is the first song they ever composed together. The tune? A mess. The lyrics? Too full of love. The memory? Enchanting.

She swears she can see the Chanyeol in their old apartment, shared with two other people, when she enters the practice room and immediately realizes her existence. An entire week has passed and yet, she cannot keep herself by his side for more than a second. She doesn’t want him to ask how she is doing, or ponder why she is obstinate and short-tempered now. It only comes to show that she is the same person that had left the group three years ago. However, his eyes soften, half-covered by the bucket hat on his head when his lips pout out to speak to her.

“It’s midnight. What are you doing here so late?”

She plays another note in her bass, throwing her head back and looking up at the sky. “Answer that same question first.”

“I was…uh…” He clears his throat after trailing his voice. “The equipment here is good and I wanted to try out some of the instruments without getting weird looks from anyone.”

Oh, right, how not to expect such a thing from the ever-talented Park Chanyeol, guitar player, bass player and singer, also leaving some trail of him in pianos and whatever he touches. Her life, included. She looks at him, then, pondering if she should comment about the song he was just singing. “I was here practicing.” She whispers, watching as he nods his head and trots over to the stage, pushing his backpack down on the floor before reaching over for the guitar. “Why don’t you take the microphone first?”

Chanyeol’s cheeks lift up in a smile at that, that infamous dimple appearing out of nowhere. “Why? Do you want me to?”

“You’re a singer hidden behind a drum-kit.” She tells him, stopping her motions on her bass before giving him a smile of her own. “I always told you, you should have been a back-up vocalist.”

His long fingers wrap around the microphone, as if pondering, and this is the way he is. He listens to people, to criticism, curiosity is just one of his traits. “…Ah, no, I’m not fitted for that position.” He tells her, looking ahead as if a crowd was in there, only to break his gaze and turn back to her. “I was meaning to tell you earlier this week that your music is sounding a whole lot better. Your technique has improved.”

“…I have had time to practice.” She confesses, aware of how her life has only revolved around music lately. For better or for worse. “I maintain my ground by saying I will only be fully pleased when I see you as a vocalist.”

“Oh, come on, you’ve heard me sing. I’m not that special.”

Like the hug of a person that smells just like them, not like perfume, not like body-wash, not like sweat or anything of the like. They smell like skin, soft and warm, like the place you belong in. That is how Chanyeol singing feels like. He never noticed it then, how all the anxiety she could have felt for the future was healed with just the sound of his voice, singing or not. “You are special.” She admits, standing up from her spot and cracking her knuckles. The common ache of a bassist. “I mean, you’re my ex, but I’m not stupid. I know talent when I know it. I sing like a dying rat, and you were the one to help me out with songs when we composed together.”

“You remember?”

“Of course I do!” She answers, pushing her hands in the depths of her pocket. “Sometimes I think of a rhyme and I am like: “Shit, this is so good” and then I realize I used it for our songs.”

Chanyeol chuckles at that, shaking his head and his whole body, like he does when he is extremely happy. “I do that, too.”

“Do you remember our first song?”

“…It’s cringe, though.”

“I know,” She answers, aware of how she would have expected him to simply press his mouth to the microphone and sing the words out. She sits by the edge of the stage by then, jumping down before shrugging. “I just wanted to remind you.”

“Where are you going?”

“Home.”

“Alone?”

Reaching for her bag in one of the seats, she nods. “I have my pepper spray, my taxi number and a few punches if someone tries to try me.” Chanyeol’s lips quirk up at that, as if he is always amused by her, or perhaps he knows her enough to acknowledge that she is, indeed, one of the strongest yet softest people he knows. “Go home safe, Chanyeol.”

“You, too.” He says in the microphone, earning a laugh from her that she tries to muffle, pushing the entrance doors open before being welcomed by the elongated hallway.

The best part is when she hears Chanyeol humming to himself, the tune of their first song together clear, solid, like he has never quite forgotten it.

She is not Chanyeol’s first love, she believes, but she is surely one of his most astonishing ones.

🥁

The commotion of the city is loud in the background, but she can’t bring herself to care when the entire world rotates around the fact that there is a Rolling Stone magazine editor in the room, a journalist, the best of the best, looking for a band to interview before the grand event. Seong Im had insisted on wearing a dress for that party near the beach, the big flowers on the fabric contrasting with her dark skin, but she was against prepping herself too much for the party. Maybe, she should’ve. It could have caused more of an impression on the dress-cladded journalist that was inspecting the talents around the party, their appearances and how they seem to act in such a spot after their brief performances.

For a moment, she pretends to concentrate on the scenery outside of the wide windows, though her eyes catch a glimpse of the journalist every once in a while. The sand is almost crystal clear, the waves moving with one another, glistening under the rounded and full moon. The sky is almost black, she realizes, the same shade of her ripped jeans, something just to keep in mind. However, when she looks towards the journalist’s table, she realizes Chanyeol is nearing her, looking far more put together than she does, with a black button down that shines—perhaps, glitter is the new fashion for him—and a tight pair of pants, perfect on his legs and his calves.

Her feet pick up their speed, as fast as she tries to live through life, moving to his side before wrapping her hands around his arm. Well, it was meant to be his arm, the one with the house and the rose tattooed on it, she recalls, remembering the time she held his hand when he got them done. Nonetheless, that is what she is holding—his hand, warm, soft, delicate, like he is used to wrapping his fingertips around hers, barely slotted together and yet, imminently there. Chanyeol brings back all the memories in a simple touch, like she forgot how safe she felt when they walked together, hand in hand, instead of walking alone in separate ways. The tattoos on his knuckles match well with her skin, with the bracelet around her wrist that he may have given her in the past and when she looks at him, she can only babble an apology.

“I—I’m sorry.”

“Why are we holding hands?” Chanyeol asks, quirking his eyebrow up at their slotted hands, but the brief smile on his face speaks otherwise.

“I need you not to talk to the Rolling Stone journalist.” She tells him, placing her hands behind her back and she may as well tie them behind her back because there is no way in hell that by rushing to Chanyeol, she had held his hand. Some fish just don’t swim too far from the ocean. “…I have rehearsed my interview with her for the past week and I am about to approach her. I need to get that article. Please, just don’t.”

Chanyeol crosses his arms over his chest then, like he is trapping all his feelings in his chest. “I also want to be interviewed, silly.” He tells her, soon after rolling up the sleeves of his shirt. Don’t look at his forearms, she tells herself, but she partially wonders if their couple tattoo is still written in his skin. An emptied, outlined heart in half, the one that unites with her left arm, while his is on his right arm. It’s still there, like it is too hard to forget the mess they had made. “It’s the Rolling Stone magazine. Anyone wants to be there in an article.”

“…You already have a bit of fame around the city. I don’t.”

“What’s a little bit more of fame?”

Pushing her lips upwards, she tries to cover the half of her tattooed heart on her arm. Had he noticed? “You start to sound like me.” She tells him, aware of how star-struck and thirsty for fame she can be. “You never did it for the fame.”

“I could’ve changed.” He prompts.

“I hope you didn’t.”

“Why?” Chanyeol questions and she tries not to think about the amount of times she held on to him, and suddenly wrapping her arms around him and talk about their lives sounds like the best idea. She hasn’t realized that not a single person has ever made her feel like Chanyeol, not pre-him, not past-him. Everything would have been better for them if only music had not gotten in the way and now, music is what unites them again.

It’s easier to lie, but there she is, being truthful because Chanyeol’s eyes are enough to capture her. Brown, lord, so brown that she feels lost in the forest that is him. His skin glistens, his youth radiates even through aging, like he will always be Chanyeol, but not hers. “Because you are what the music industry needs.” She reassures. “Hookers, alcohol and drugs are overrated, they are an aesthetic. Music shouldn’t be about the visual; it should be a lifestyle.”

“That’s the type of visual you liked, though.” He tells her, pointy in his words like he is trying to prove that she was half of the reason why they broke up. The rest is his fault, as well. “You wanted the rock lifestyle. Why can’t I have it now?”

“Is this your way of telling me you like hookers?” She tries not to get him too close, changing the subject while staring at him and Chanyeol’s smile quirks up, embarrassed in the way his cheeks tint.

“Why? Do you care?”

“I do.”

But he doesn’t let go. “Why?”

“Because you aren’t like what you’re trying to make yourself to be,” She tells him. “You are one of the few hopes I have in society, actually.”

Chanyeol smiles at that, half hiding into himself but he is unable to. Too tall, too elongated, misguided body-wise, like he holds this skeleton simply to protect his softened heart. Maybe, making a mistake with her had made him a better man. She likes to believe so. “All props to hookers, don’t get me wrong, but I got out of a romantic situation not too long ago and I realized I’m more of that type of person. I’m tired of casual dating and hook-ups.”

So, he had dated. It’s expected; handsome and charming. She shouldn’t be mad, but she would be lying if she said there isn’t a ghost of jealousy inside her. “I see,”

“What about you?”

“I have never been with a hooker, if that’s what you’re asking.” She answers, bringing a laugh out of him.

“I’m asking if you have dated after…” His words trail after that, trying to find his place to ask that question. Their mistake, as she likes to call it. “After us.”

Say you did. Say you did. Lie to him and say you did. “I went out on dates, but…nothing serious.”

“I imagined you would have gotten someone by now.”

“I don’t need anyone, let’s start there.”

“Oh, I know.” Chanyeol tells her, looking down at his hands before chuckling. “Rather, I think people would need you.”

She scoffs at that. “I’m a mess,” She admits, because this is Chanyeol she is talking to. His hands could never hurt her heart, at least not intentionally. “I doubt I’d be any help for someone.”

“You helped me.”

“With what?” She asks, aware that Chanyeol had helped her grow more than he realized, before and after their relationship.

“Finding my place in music. You leaving the group had me devastated, but it gave me direction.” And that is the beauty of Chanyeol, how he stands up and dusts himself off as he travels endlessly. Maybe, that is why he helped her so much, just like she helped him. He showed her that one bad song isn’t a bad album; a painful memory isn’t a lifetime worth of sadness. Some people have to move on, for their sake, for their happiness, to find the light and the will in the world.

“Chanyeol—”

The man looks to the side, as if ashamed, pointing at the direction of the journalist as he sighs. “Someone took our spot already.”

Another band is seated with the journalist, as if they belong there, as if they are the new legendary small group. Somehow, she doesn’t care. “I don’t care.” She says. “Fame isn’t for me anyways.”

“You think so?”

“It drained away my light in my hunt for it. I can only imagine what it will do if I reach it.” She answers, licking the inside of her cheek before humming. “Have you eaten?”

“I was thinking of ordering something just now,” He replies. “Want to join me?”

“Sure, we can catch up.”

His eyes, brown and deep, a forest that starts to clear, light up at that. “I would love that.”

🥁

With a lollipop placed inside her mouth, Seong Im is seated on the hood of their old car, in front of the venue in which they are going to play in. The night is packed, only a small group of people—friends and relatives alike—gathering to see the stars. Well, as rock-star as it can get to battle for a position in a discography. Instead, her band is much too occupied in talking about the other individuals in the competition. “I don’t know. He’s nice and all, but Chanyeol looks like the type of dude who fucks in front of a mirror just because he thinks he’s hot. He probably flexes, too.”

She presses her lips together, looking inside her box of guitar picks before sighing. “He isn’t.”

And she should have shut her mouth entirely and sincerely, simply because there is a moment of dull silence before she realizes that she has just confirmed that she has a way of knowing. She doesn’t look up, however, pretending to be torn in deciding between two picks before Seong Im kicks her side softly. “Hey, how would you know that?”

Hee Young is the next one to speak, braiding her hair and interrupting her voice warm-ups to reiterate. “She definitely knows. They dated for like two years.”

Two years and eight months, to be exact. Not that long now that she thinks about it, it could have gone for longer if only they had put themselves first, even before music. The reminder is definitely not soothing and now that she gets to hear Seong Im gasp with one arm wrapped around Andrew’s uninterested persona, she speaks up. “Why didn’t you tell us that? We thought you hated him!”

“I don’t,” She announces, shrugging her shoulders soon after at the memory of the nights in which pressing her forehead to his was the only moment in which her headaches would stop. That being poor with him was what had pushed her to want to be rich and successful. That diamond rings only seemed to shine bright if he was there. “I could never hate him.” She has tried to, and for a while when they were dating she thought she hated him, but the fire from his soul would always be eased by the rain of her. There would never be anything more comforting than knowing she really tried with him.

“…So…that’s the band you were in before.” Seong Im finishes, blinking rapidly before resting her palm against her forehead. “Why did you leave?”

“We didn’t break up in good terms, I guess.”

“And why don’t you hate him? You should, if you ended up badly.” Her roommate continues, making her roll her eyes and close the lid of her woodened box.

“Because I was different back then. I let everything take the best of me, we fought too much…” She replies, wondering if things would have been different had she not being so closed up in her taste of music and had Chanyeol been more connected to his roots, not as experimental as he wanted to be. One too risky, the other too safe. “But it happened because it had to happen. I am here with you guys because of it.”

Hee Young chuckles. “You were heartbroken for a few months; dare I say a year.”

“Well, music put me back on track.”

“And music made you lost the love of your life.” Hee Young retorts, earning a sigh from her.

“I’d lose that and much more to music. I’m sure he thinks the same.”

Seong Im pushes her weight off the car, taking her by the arm and looking around the street before pushing her towards the car nearby, coated in layers of water and soap, all indicator of someone washing it. The car is not as old as hers, but she has definitely seen it before—and has been in it, as well—, and just when she looks in front of her after watching the smile on Seong Im’s face, she realizes who is washing this car.

It is a good look, too.

His sweater is wrapped around his waist, leaving him in a tank top even through the cold night. He must be freezing, too, with his hands rubbing furiously at the window. Chanyeol seems to be having a hard time, a pool of water by his feet settling him down. His eyes turn back at the sound of heavy steps and a squeal, both coming from her, and when he notices her, his frown seems to erase slightly. He calls out her name in such a way that seems like a song, enough to take the oxygen away from her lungs and she realizes then that music has really taken her life away. This man could have easily been by her side, she could be wrapped in his arms in this cold night, but they are too far away from each other, exes at their finest.

He is still kneeling, trying to get that spot in the window when she speaks up. “Did a bird poop on your car?”

“You’re saying it as if it didn’t happen,” Chanyeol comments, bringing laughter up in her when she kneels by his side, taking the other cloth bathed in soap to help him clean whatever content is on the window. “I had to go get some water inside and clean it. Just how embarrassing would it be if the journalists here saw my car with some bird shit on it.”

“It’s iconic.”

“It isn’t.” Chanyeol argues, his body shivering, the goosebumps over his arms noticeable. It is then that she realizes she is staring at his profile, his recently dyed red hair a reminder of that conversation they had after practice one of these days, in which he asked her for tips on how he could dye his hair on his own. It looked good, actually. She pushes her body closer to his, in a position in which their arms are placed together, earning a gasp from him. “…You…”

She looks down at their arms, realizing that the heart had formed, making her hiss softly. “Yeah…”

“You didn’t get it covered.”

“I couldn’t.”

“Why?”

“Do you really want to know?” She questions, watching as Chanyeol places one hand on the side of his face, his elbow resting against his strong knee, staring at her as if he can’t believe it and with amusement he chuckles. He really can’t, as it seems.

“I didn’t cover it because I love you too much. You were my best friend before we dated, I can’t simply erase you like that.” He whispers, like he doesn’t even want the wind to know. The rivers inside her become troublesome, reminder of how she had always tried to push him out of her body, saying that they would have never worked out and that he was the one at fault for never understanding her. The toxicity of them came when they decided to work together…or when they became obsessed with growing. “Truth is that I didn’t expect you to keep it on.”

So, this is why she fell in love with him, because he is sentimental above anything else. Chanyeol had once told her he loved her, a thousand times at that, but the first one is special. Seated by a window, looking out at the snow, he said the warmest thing there could ever exist. He spoke about his demons, the insecurities that ate at him, how he tried to move on too fast…to be faster than life itself, and how that kept biting at him. What dresses him in toughness is unable to keep him from her, show the real colors of the man she has loved. Continues to love in the depths of her heart, too. “…It’s part of me by now.” She tells him. “If I covered it, I was afraid I would lose me.”

“You wouldn’t,” He tells her. “Because you’re not my half. You are more than that.”

“…I know.” She replies. “I wish I had known that sooner.”

Her knees are about to give in, just in time for Chanyeol to stand up and take a dry cloth, rubbing at the windows with ease. “I guess it happens to the best of us.”

“Being friends, dating, breaking up and one of them leaving the group because they couldn’t even stand the other?” She asks, making a smile appear on his face. “That’s not very common.”

“But it’s our story.”

“So?”

“That makes it better.”

The sound of her band name being called makes her turn around, albeit hesitantly, because she doesn’t want this moment to end. She is being called to get ready, earning a sigh from her when she stares back at Chanyeol, only to see him stare at her like he wants to learn her. Study her. He needs to keep her in his memories for when he is old and he is bound to forget. “I have to go now.” She says, walking backwards just in time to see him lift a thumb up.

“Good luck in there.”

But the toughest of lucks was losing a man like him.

🥁

The skies above mock her, shining with city lights and clouds and stars, all too bright for her, a reminder that success is not knocking at her door. The thick yellow jacket on top of her white hoodie is supposed to make her feel more at ease, even remotely happy, but giving her best on stage only to come up on third place was definitely a low blow for them. Andrew took it the best, celebrating getting such a spot, but the women in the group were devastated. The victory goes to Chanyeol’s band, she tries to process, happy yet a bit puzzled.

What would her group do now?

Sam had taught her how to smoke and she doesn’t do it at all, but right now it sounds like a great idea, going for a drive and stopping at the usual gas station simply to pick up some snacks. Much to her delight, however, the same man that she has been watching for the past month, talking and reconnecting like they will earn something from it, is fueling his car just at that moment. Just like her, he is wrapped in cozy clothing, the tips of his ears red, bringing a smile to her face when she pushes the box of cigarettes to the depth of her coat. Now, she doesn’t need them.

“What’s up winner?” She asks him, making him widen his eyes and press a hand to his chest. Chanyeol turns around to look at her, smiling at the sight of her, though a bit nostalgic.

“Doing great.”

“I’m glad.”

“What are you doing here?” He is the first to ask, leaning his body against his car. His arms are crossed over his chest and she still feels giddy at the reminder that under those clothing, a tattoo keeps them connected.

“I’m going to grab some snacks, you know.” She tells him, clicking her tongue soon after and nodding, as if nothing is wrong. Actually, she is healthy and she got some recognition from her hard work. Her band may not be fine, but the future may be brighter, with less debt and more fame.

“Good,” He says. “Actually, I was planning on asking you something.”

She nears him, copying his position against his car. “What would that be?”

His lips part majestically, though a bit confused in their approach. “Sam and I were talking, along with our groupmates, and we figured we could have two bassists. You could join us before we sign our contract with the new discography.”

Chanyeol may be her past and god, he was one hell of a good past, the ignition of her dream of music…but her friends were there for her when they had broken up, she created a new world and discovered that her story with Chanyeol was mistaken when they added another lover to their sheets and their hearts. Music. “I’m going to say no.” She denies. “I am happy with my guys. Nothing against you…or your band, but I am not betraying my own.”

“I expected you to say that.” The wind blows near them, moving the strands of his red hair, his cheeks getting touched by the gentlest of pink touches. Chanyeol rarely blushes but the wind serves to caress his tan skin. “You were always too loyal.”

“That’s a good thing. We dated, after all.”

“We did.” Chanyeol comments, hearing the sound of his car getting completely fueled before paying attention to the task at hand. “I wanted to ask you something else—”

“What would that be?” She quirks one eyebrow, aware of how Chanyeol’s deep voice is doing its best to look for her joints and her bones, drag her back into the beauty of him.

“Since we won’t be able to see each other almost every day from now on, I thought I could take you out on a date.” For old time’s sakes, and to mend what was once broken. Like split-ends, their split will never end, for they will always come back together. “…Not that you have to say yes.”

On the tip of her toes, she reaches forward to shorten the distance between the two, her lips touching his in one of those brief ‘good morning’ kisses she gave him when they just woke up. At the time, Chanyeol was not much of a morning person, but he must have lit up this entire night with the taste of coffee-brewed kisses. She smiles, showing a big part of her teeth when she says: “Did you really think I was going to say no?”

Caught red handed, Chanyeol wraps his arms around her waist, leaving his mouth slightly ajar to kiss her softly, like he wants to serve every night they spent alone in just one try, bring warmth to every corner of their souls. He wants the ‘us’ they crafted back, the one before music could get in between them. “No.” He whispers. “I missed you so much.”

For the first time in over three years, she can wrap her arms around his shoulders, rest her cold nose against his neck and breathe in his scent when she promises herself they can get through this, they can love each other again, not like they ever did, with one heart palpitating to connect them, creating music that they could only share with each other.

“Not more than how much I missed you.”

#chanyeol scenarios #chanyeol #exo scenarios #exo #kpop scenarios #writing #exo au #exo fluff #exo angst #chanyeol au #chanyeol fluff #chanyeol angst #drummer!chanyeol #tell me what you guys think please!

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mysteryofren · 4 years

Text

The Most Of It

part 20 of So Happy Together

19: https://mysteryofren.tumblr.com/post/617393400455512064/the-best-date-ever

note: wow part 20! sorry it took a while to get out i had to edit it a bit before putting it up.

It felt like you were living in a movie. Everything was so perfect. You stayed in the street for a bit after he left you. Smiling like an idiot. Walking down the road swaying around like a sucker in love. He was perfect. He was sweet, caring, funny, and he was communicative. As good as you felt there was still an ache in your heart. Over the man you really loved. The man who you tried to convince yourself at the moment didn't exist. You didn't even want to think of his name. You pushed thoughts of him out of your mind, and focused on Cal. you looked on your phone and saw a notification. He had posted something. You opened your phone to see what it was. He tagged you.

‘All that art, but she was the only thing I was staring at.’ was the caption.

You looked through, and they were all photos of you and him. The first one was the one you guys took in front of the gallery. You were smiling and he had his arm wrapped around you while he made a goofy face. The next one was you looking at a painting. He took it from behind you, and it actually looked pretty good. The last one you took. You smiled at the camera while he was kissing your cheek. You decided you liked that one best. You liked the post, and commented under it.

‘Best day ever!’ it wasn't much, but you didn't know what else to say. You shared the post on your story knowing a certain someone might see it. A breeze went by, and you decided to head to the hotel.

Once you made your way to the room you were excited to tell your grandfather all about your day. You walked in, and went to his room to talk to him. You opened the door, and saw him lying in bed. Glasses on, book in hand. There was always tomorrow. Quietly you walked to his bed, and took his glasses off. The book in his hands was one he had read many times. ‘Gone With The Wind’ by Margret Mitchell. It was one both of you loved a lot. Slowly you slipped it out of his hand, and placed it on the bedside table. When he slept he looked normal. Not so put together like he always is. He had one leg sticking out of the blanket and over the edge of the bed. He slept in a slant, letting his whole body take up the bed. His hair was a mess, and he had some strands in his face. It was way different from his usual prim, and proper aesthetic.

You kissed his forehead, and gently pulled the covers over his body a little bit more. You turned off the lamp on the bed side table, and walked out quietly. He really was tired. You couldn't blame him though. After all he's lived a pretty exciting life. He raised kids, and you. At least he got to have the love of his life around for most of it. You opened the small door to your room, and threw yourself out of the bed. You wish Gideon was here. You liked telling him about your day before bed. It was comforting. You messaged Cal, and you both talked. Without even realizing it. You had fallen asleep just the way you were.

Morning came, and you were awoken by your grandfather coming into your room.

“I thought you would have never come home.” he said while sitting on the bed next to you.

“I got in pretty late. I wanted to tell you about the day, but you were already asleep.” you said sitting up, and yawning.

“Well i'm here now, but I think i'd like to hear about it over breakfast, what do you say?”

“Sounds good to me. Where do you wanna go?”

“Well I figured we are on vacation. So I ordered room service. We can have breakfast in bed, and you can tell me all about the boy.”

Soon the food came. You changed out of last night's outfit, and went to your grandfather's room. You sat at the foot of the bed, and he sat opposite of you. He placed the different plates in front of you, and you both just started picking at them.

“So about this boy. Tell me about him.” he said after he drank some coffee.

“Ok so,” you started. “I really like him. He’s super smart, and he's just so goofy, and carefree.”

“Where is he from?”

“Bracca. Father has some business there, so Cal knew who he was.”

“And Cal is the boy?”

“Yes. he's in college to be an engineer, you know.”

“An engineer. He must be smart then, that's quite a hard job.”

“I really would like you to meet him. Maybe we can do something today?”

“That would be quite nice. I could get to know him myself.” he said before eating a piece of pancake.

“Yeah. You'll love him. He reminds me of Hux a bit. Just not as uptight.”

“Do you think you will end up with Cal?”

“I dont know. I mean I like him, but Bracca is pretty far.”

“Do you want my advice, dear?”

“Yes. always.”

“Are you sure you like him, or are you just distracting yourself from the person you really like?”

You stayed quiet for a moment. Unsure of what to say.

“I haven't thought about him since we left. I won't start now. I think I really do like Cal. I mean he's respectful, funny, caring. What's not to like about him?”

“I am just saying. Seeing you be so upset over him made me upset. I had not seen you that sad since Satine died.”

Satine. Mama. you haven't heard her name in so long. It felt like a forbidden word almost. Like it was wrong to hear it be said.

‘I know. Im sorry. This time I know nothing can happen. So i'm not getting my hopes up.”

“He likes you.”

“Who does?”

“Ben. He told me he did.”

“He's got a funny way of showing it.”

“He's just confused. I am in no way justifying his actions, but he is. Quite frankly, he is also a bit of an idiot.”

You laughed at that. “Yeah. he is isn't he?”

He smiled at you. You both continued eating. When you were done you cleared the bed of plates, and he got dressed. You messaged Cal to see if he wanted to come hang out with you, and your grandfather. He agreed, and you both talked about meeting in the lobby again. Today you dressed for comfort. You quickly did some makeup, and styled your hair again. Once your grandfather changed you talked to him about what you wanted to do. He decided he wanted to see the statue. Luckily he was okay with you inviting Cal along so you messaged him about what you guys were going to do. Once you felt cute enough to see him you walked out of your room. Your grandfather was in his usual button down shirt, and khakis. He had his book in his hand. Probably to read while you guys were resting. You grabbed his hand, and you both went downstairs.

Once you see Cal he smiles at you, and you can't help, but smile back. You get your grandfather's attention, and look towards Cal. he looks with you, and you make your way over to him. You hug him once you see him. It had only been hours, but it felt like you haven't seen him in years. Once you let go of him you introduce him to your grandfather.

“Hello sir, im Cal. sorry to steal her yesterday.”

Your grandfather gave him a smile. “It's no issue. Especially with how happy she was this morning.”

“Well I hope you don't mind if I steal her tonight for dinner?”

“Well I don't see the harm in it. Is that alright with you?” your grandfather asked.

“Yeah that's fine with me.” you said with a smile. You tried to keep yourself from looking like a complete fool. You all talked for a moment before the cab your grandfather called was outside. Once you reach the gallery with the statue. You all spent the day walking around and taking pictures. Your grandfather somehow found himself joined in a tour group that was going over the history of a statue. You could tell your grandfather wasn't completely sold on Cal, but he was getting to know him. That meant something at least.

You all spent the day following the tour group around. Once you saw the statue of David your grandfather started telling you and Cal a story about how he had brought your grandmother to see the statue too. You could tell the thing he liked most about Cal was he was a listener. Your grandfather loved telling stories, and Cal loved hearing about them. From there all they did was talk. Cal said he wanted to hear his most exciting stories, and your grandfather delivered. He talked about his time in college, and all the trouble him and his friends would get into. Cal told a few stories about him, Cere, and Greeze. Apparently they’re not allowed in a few places.

They talked about college stories through lunch. You sat there listening to them prattle on. Part of you felt bad. You didn't have many stories to contribute. You went to school with sheltered rich kids. You were a sheltered rich kid. You didn't do much to get in trouble.

“You've been really quiet. You got any stories Y/N?” Cal asked.

“I'm not really the mischief type.”

“I'm sure you have one. If I have some, surely you must have one.” your grandfather added.

“I mean. I almost got into a fight with some girl over her boyfriend. My friend kept it from escalating.”��

“Alright! Look at you Kenobi!” Cal cheered.

“Why would you not tell me about that? When was this?” your grandfather said with a laugh.

“Remember when me and my friends went skating a few months ago? It happened that night.”

Your grandfather looked like he was thinking.

“Was it over Ben?” Why did he have to bring him up again?

“Uhh yeah, but Rey was the one who started it!”

“Who's Ben?” Cal asked. You weren't sure how to respond. You didn't even want to talk about him. Luckily your grandfather knew you well, and spoke for you.

“He's nobody really. Just some guy.” Cal just looked at you. You stayed quiet not wanting to talk about it anymore. Your grandfather quickly changed the subject to Cals family. You joined in, and were able to move on from talking about Him.

Soon your grandfather got tired, and decided he wanted to head back to the hotel. He called a cab for all of you. You continued your conversation in the car. You were glad your grandfather at least tried to get to know him. Now you can see that he likes him. When the car dropped you off in front of the hotel your grandfather took the time to say goodbye to Cal. He went upstairs to give you a chance to talk to him.

“So you still down for our date tonight?” Cal asked

“Oh so it is a date.”

“Yeah. So was yesterday, but I wasn't sure if I was too subtle, so I figured why not be outright, and say it is.” SO YESTERDAY WAS A DATE.

“Well, I enjoyed our date yesterday, and I look forward to our second one tonight.” you said with a smile.

“Good,” he gave you a quick wink, and a smile. “Meet me down here in 3 hours. Bring a jacket cause we're eating outside.”

“I'll be here.”

He kissed you on the cheek. “Can't wait.”

You watched him walk away. You felt like your heart was about to explode. You haven't felt this happy in so long. You made your way to your room. Daydreams of staying here forever with Cal took over your mind. Part of you wishes you had the nerve to just stay. You loved Italy. It was filled with endless beauty. Something you didn't think of when you think of home. You could have a fresh start. A clean slate. No Rey. No school. No parents. Best of all he wouldn't be there. It's best not to think of that kind of stuff. You have good things at home. You walk into the hotel room,and see your grandfather on the small couch looking out the window across from it. You walk over, and sit down next to him. While laying your head on his shoulder you looked out the window with him.

Neither of you spoke. Both of you just sat, and looked out at the sun beaming over the buildings. You paid attention to what was in front of you. Trying to memorize it all.

“I like him you know,” your grandfather said. “I just think there's someone else I like for you better.”

“I know pop pop.” you whispered. He kissed your head, and wrapped an arm around you. He gave you a squeeze before getting up.

“I'll be in my bed reading. When you leave for your date let me know.” he turned to walk to his room when you just called out to him.

“I love you.”

“I know my dear. I love you too.” he said before turning back and walking into his room.

Soon you were getting ready. You curled your hair, making it look a little nicer than usual. You also took the time to make sure your makeup was perfect. When you didn't know it was a date it was easier. Now you had anxiety. You had the pressure of trying to impress someone on your mind. It was killing you, because now none of your outfits looked good enough. You decided on a casual dress. You put some sheer tights on incase it got cold, and grabbed a jacket.once you felt confident enough you headed out.

You sat in the lobby nervously bouncing your leg when you spotted him getting off the elevator. When he saw you he smiled, and made his way over to you.

“Hey, ready to go?” he asked

“Yeah, definitely.”

You two walked out of the hotel, and he led you to a nearby restaurant. Once you arrive they take you up the stairs, and out to a balcony area. There were vines wrapped around the railing, along with some christmas lights. You sat at a table close to the edge of the balcony, and was taken back by the view. You were able to look over the buildings, and out to the cathedral. It was perfect.

“I had to fight to get us this table. I figured the view was good enough we would have something to talk about if things got awkward.” he said with a smile.

“It's perfect. I dont think I’ve ever seen something so beautiful in my life.”

“I have.” he said as he stared at you. You turned away so he wasn't able to see the red creeping over your face.

“So,” he started. “Today was fun. I like your grandpa. He's cool.”

“Yeah, he is pretty cool. He liked you a lot.” you were exaggerating, but who cares.

“I don't think he did. I mean he liked me, but I don't think he liked me too much.”

“He just wants what's best for me, can you blame him?”

“Does it have anything to do with that Ben guy?”

You looked out at the cathedral. You should have known he was going to bring it up. Better act dumb.

“So that uh, view is really nice.”

“Hey.” he said, reaching across the table, putting his hand on yours.

“I don't care who he is. I know much cant happen between us. I mean I live hundreds of miles away from you.”

“I know. Im sorry.” you hold his hand, and run your thumb across it. A waiter came by, and took your drink orders. Once he left to retrieve them Cal continued.

“Don't be. I have you now. I want to make the most of it. We might never see eachother again, and I wanna make sure the memories we do have are unforgettable.”

“They already are.” you replied looking in his eyes.

“Good. I want them to be as important to you as they are to me.”

“Today, and yesterday have been the best days of my life. That means the world to me Cal. I wanna make the most of our time together too.”

The waiter came, and put your drinks down. Cal grabbed his, and lifted it towards you.

“Here's to making the most of it.” he said

You lifted your drink to his. Hearing a soft clink as they touched. With a smile you replied.

“To making the most of it.”

Tags: @wumboho @pylopenpolo @duty-isnt-always-honour @wondering-wishing-well

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bbygrvr · 4 years

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⌠ DEV PATEL, 32, MALE, HE/HIM ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, BOBBY GROVER! originally hailing from BLACKTHORNE, this alum specializes in DRIVER’S ED. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (a selfie with a no loitering sign, days old take-out, the crash of shattered glass). it’s the (aries)’s birthday on 06/04/1998, and when they were still in school their most requested dish was RIBEYE STEAK from the school’s chefs. hopefully their presence can help ease the minds of gallagher students. ⌿ tasha, 22, she/her, best ⍀ <- just realized i put best instead of est i swear that wasn’t intentional pls don’t think im up my own ass dfhjg

guess who did a complete 180 n was like .. haha .. what if .. i bring an alum .. a character that i’ve used before in a gang rp dfjhg who was a .. Getaway Driver . and the non-commitment of it was v appealing to me at 4am ! all the good stuff under the read more .. n just the tiniest of plugs .. during my 4am journey i also finally got around to writing luce’s bio . 4 everyone who wanted a powerpoint of all her exes , this ones for u its a doozy xo lov a gorl who is defined by men :))) tw: drug addiction, car crash, murder (FOR BOBBY DFJH) + HIS PINTEREST bc it’s probably my favourite one

BACKSTORY

i am obsessed with the trope that danger breeds from boredom in suburbia but to make it even spicier , why not combine it with someone who might be a literal sociopath ? born in grosse pointe shores , one of the most affluent suburbs in detroit .

was born robert, but that’s a boring name for a boring man, something he is anything but . he’s a third generation american, and grew up in the typical white picket fence neighbourhood , though his family is extremely wealthy from investing in fossil fuels . however , they live modestly which has always been a major gripe with bobby .

he’s been a problem child for as long as he can remember , sneaking into r-rated movies before he was a teen , and he could’ve been a hipster artist with the amount of weed he smoked and bullshit he spewed . however , he excelled in school , his parents unworried as he placed at the top of his class , and only comment from teachers was that he talked too much .

at sixteen he gets his driver license , and soon enough pavements are tracked with tire marks and he’s running reds and hiding the ticket notices from his parents . street racing’s his jam , there’s white powder on the tip of his nose . he’s also the unofficial bookie for an underground fight club ... spending most of his time in the city which is only a twenty minute drive .

his parents start to pay attention , he thinks , finally those dumb fucks . they send him to therapy . therapists are obsessed with roots of trauma and thinking processes . but he’s not angry and he’s never faced any tragedy . what a waste of time , he thinks , but they prescribe him some pretty dope pills .

he wreaks havoc on his parents while rousing suspicion of blackthorne recruiters . under the guise of school recruiters they tell his parents of a private boarding school for gifted young students . they enrol him immediately . he’s planning to escape the first chance he gets , but falls in love before he can . not with anyone , but the school . this place is fucking epic . he keeps using but he’s extremely high functioning .

he’s never killed anyone before , and no one’s wronged him to the point of deserving death , so he goes big ‘cos he sure as hell isn’t going home and kills the ceo of chevron , a multibillion dollar oil company , because nothing has wronged him like climate change has . it’s easy enough , under the right tutelage , but he still pukes after .

his spy career lasts for seven blissful years , but his addiction comes to a boil when he crashes at 120 mph into a brick wall after believing that his car could go through it . to this day , he still believes that the coke he had snorted previously was laced with something . a fellow spy in the passenger seat dies .

blackthorne pulls him out and locks him up , very trainspotting scene except he’s locked up for a year , it’s possibly the worst experience of his life , and still shudders at the memories of withdrawing . they tell him that if they ever find out he’s using again they’ll kill him , no questions asked . then , they allow him to go to a proper rehab facility .

he’s now been sober for three years , and has the chip to prove it .

PERSONALITY

extremely outspoken to the point of rudeness , crass too . always makes every conversation an attempt to provoke for the shits and giggles of it .

pretty hyperaware of everything that’s going on even if it doesn’t seem like it . he’ll like , swat a fly out of nowhere mid-conversation then hold up his palm to whoever’s talking to him to show the fly gut’s on his hand .

self-indulgent , doesn’t have much of a moral compass , goes where the fun is .

super pumped about being an alum to the students , he has made lesson plans .

TRIVIA

would have gone to school for film , even though he could have been able to apply for anything and get in . obsessed with body horror ( cronenberg’s his hero ) and german expressionism .

his last name comes from the original surname of guruvara/gorovare which is a sanskrit word for teacher/mentor so maybe he was destined for this ... king shit .

hasn’t talked to his parents since he was sixteen despite them reaching out multiple times , he hates them for some , inexplicable reason .

from like eighteen to when he got sober .. how do i say this .. his dick .. was not performing as if should have DHJG ?? that just gives u the impression as to how many drugs he was taking at the time .

CONNECTIONS

calling all driver’s eds kids ! just hit me up , because he probably has a detailed plan on how to mentor you .

any other kids who have no experience with driving , but want to learn !

his death count’s low , but any sort of connection to the person he who died in his car when he was off his ass .

alternatively , any blackthorne kids who’ve heard the rumours that he killed the ceo of the oil company , stroke his ego !

he was truly working overtime those seven years he was a spy so any other alum , maybe they worked a job together !

#gallagher:intro #my student chara who i've been thinking on for a month watching this clownery happen instead : 👁️👄👁️

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2k18leo · 5 years

Text

TMNT 2007 talk

Okie dokie since we’ve been on hiatus for a long long time, but I still want to talk turtles, I figured I’d talk about the TMNT 2007 film again. If you’ve been with my account for a while you may know what a huge fan I am of this particular movie (of course I love the other films and may talk about them at a later date, but this one just hits differently for me mainly because it’s what got me into the Ninja Turtles in the first place)

So, I have already briefly covered my take on the 2007 film as a whole. Aaaand, @my-sai-and-i _and_i wrote a post that goes in depth about the emotional scarring that the fight had on Leo and Raph. It’s a wonderful post and you should def check it out 👌🏼

I am currently watching the 2007 film (yet again (HA what is my count up to now? Can’t keep track. Lol moving on—)) and once again I am breathless at the climactic fight BATTLE that Leo and Raph have. Every single time I watch it, my love for the franchise grows even more. I think this may be because I’m actually such a fan of the TMNT trope that is the constant butting heads of the two oldest brothers (oof sorry not sorry 🤭). I’m also going to talk mainly about this fight scene because it’s literally the EXACT scene that I started watching when I was first introduced to tmnt. That is already talked about in another post, however 😂

Okaaay, let’s get into this thing. First off, the score for this chase scene is already making you very anxious for some sort of confrontation between the two boys. It gives you chills right off the back. Whenever Nightwatcher accidentally cornered himself I got to thinking what it would have been like if we had seen Leo and his trip out into the city instead of the diner scene with the 12th monster. Like, was he just out looking for Raph and heard police scanners saying there was an issue with the diner? Then he headed over to possibly help, but ran into the vigilante Nightwatcher. I can only assume he was already looking for Raph since Splinter right beforehand advised Leo that he needed to get off his high horse and work things out with Raph. Since April and Casey were in the lair, I’m sure Leo didn’t expect Raph to go back to their apartment. He probably went around to their old hangout places in the city (before Leo was sent to South America) but since he had been gone so long, maybe he figured his brothers didn’t hang out anymore since it wasn’t all four of them. Sure, Casey’s a great friend, but never a replacement for one of the turtles. Leo could have also gone back to the construction site that they had partly demolished with that first monster a couple nights prior. Raph did make a point in saying that they needed to find out who was responsible for the sudden burst of creatures in New York. Don’t get me wrong, learning where the 12th monster was when Raph fought it was important I guess? I mean, it made the stone generals stationed in the area, but still not THAT close to where Raph and Leo ended up (they ran quite a ways. A mile at least.)

Okay, back to the rooftop scene. The setting was beautiful and I just— *chef’s kiss* love it. The rain. The red glow of the Red Eye Club sign. Which, I’m just now thinking about this but if an English teacher was asking you what the red sign symbolized I do believe that that could be some sort of symbol/foreshadow that Raph will be the one who comes out victorious in the upcoming brawl. In case I’m not completely giving that a whole-ass stretch, I looked up the Red Eye Club to see if it was a real place but all I got were a bunch of pictures of marijuana so I’m gonna assume NOPE. It could be a minor detail or it could just be a coincidence 🤷🏽‍♀️ I mean the neon sign did not have to be red specifically. Lol don’t @ me 😂

Anyway, I love the way the rain falls on the metal of Raph’s armor. I can only imagine how much of a BITCH that rain was to animate.

Leo starting off with the good cop persona is very in touch with his character and I like. He’s still the “talk first, shoot later” wise character we LOVE, while Raph is so much the opposite (which we LOVE JUST AS MUCH (ugh sorry im gushing again)). I like how Raph stayed silent. He didn’t give his identity up. He didn’t try to stop Leo from starting a fight. He WANTED to fight Leo. And this was the perfect opportunity without Leo holding back by being aware of his own brother under the suit. It’s sort of like a Red Hood/Batman type scene. And, it’s hardly audible but, Leo then continues to try and calm down the vigilante by saying “The road you’re on is a dead-end. Believe me, I’ve tried it.” He has no idea who is behind the mask. For all he knows, he’s talking to a complete stranger, yet he is still trying to be the voice of reason. The Nightwatcher could be a deranged murderer for all he knows. He is only aware of what the News has been recently saying. You can tell he doesn’t know everything about this vigilante (which, side note but, this all seems a bit hypocritical if I’m honest. Up until Donnie and Mikey got jobs, all the turtles/Casey/possibly April did was vigilantism. I mean, does Leo think that the Nightwatcher is correlated with the monster sightings? Is that his main reason for being a vigilante to stop a vigilante??) ALSO when Leo said “…believe me, I’ve tried it” is that referencing his time in South America? I know he “got caught up in his own world” and “forgot about everyone else” but does that necessarily correlate with what he’s talking about? Did something really bad happen in South America that we didn’t see? Did he become like Hawkeye (cough* Ronin) in Endgame?

This also makes me wonder what would have happened if Donnie and Mikey had gone out to help Leo search for Raph. It could have been like a Teen Titans scene where Robin was posing as Red X and the rest of the titans unknowingly fought their ally because he was seemingly just another villain. If things played out that way, I’m not even sure that Raph would have put up much of a fight. He didn’t have any major beef with his younger brothers. The scene would have probably been way less emotional as well. Plus, Leo probs wouldn’t have been captured.

Whenever Raph first wields his weapons, signifying he’s ready to fight, Leo gives a very small smirk. He wants to fight as much as Raph does. But for different reasons. Raph knows his opponent and is angry with him— furious even. Leo… I think deep down he loves to fight. He knows he’s good at it. He knows he’s going to win. But it’s probably been a long time since he’s actually felt that great adrenaline rush of a fight (yes, I’m aware he was in the fight with the first monster but that’s not a one-on-one duel) Which is why when he says “Trust me when I tell you. You don’t want to do this” he says it in a way that he’s still trying to be the voice of reason… BUT it’s also very much a threat. He’s been wanting a proper fight for a while. There’s a certain thrill I’m sure he gets when he’s faced with someone who is probably an even match for him. Even with the threat he gives, he’s fully aware that his opponent will strike.

COCKY LEO.

I’m not going to even try to get into the subject as to why on earth Leo cannot recognize his own brother under the suit because @my-sai-and-i already explained that WAY better.

I mean, Leo is chuckling as the Nightwatcher does his second swing. It’s funny to him because he still knows he’s going to win this fight. There is no doubt in his mind that he will defeat this amateur clown in a costume. But this is the way, I’m absolutely positive, Leo acted as a teenager to common criminals on the streets. He’s always known how good he was at fighting, so I can bet money he was cocky growing up. And yeah, it’s way different than how he was fighting the raiders in the beginning of the film. Back in South America he acted all dark and silent, more than likely trying to keep up the persona of the Ghost of the Jungle. If he acted all cocky and obnoxious to the raiders, I’m sure word would get out, which might frighten the villagers even more. Being his sneaky stealthy self, he was less likely to scare the villagers, and probably able to keep up the thought that he was just a peaceful legend (kind of like Katara as the Painted Lady in Avatar (I’m referencing soooo many other things, but it makes sense to me 😂)) So, now that Leo’s back in the place where he grew up, of course, his old cocky tendencies would come back. It’s almost nostalgic for him.

Another thing. Leo is completely defensive for the majority of this fight. He hardly ever throws an actual blow. He jumps back out of the way when the Nightwatcher swings his chain at him again. Which is a completely smart move. Another reason to note that he KNOWS WHAT HE’S DOING. He’s fought for about 20 years (we don’t actually know their ages in this movie (or do we ?) but I would guess around 18-20 ??) so he’s fully aware of the fact that one of the best fighting techniques is letting your opponent tire themselves out so you can then finish them off and become victorious. But Raph’s temper has always led him to go guns blazing. Shoot first, questions later.

Leo continues to mock the Nightwatcher because he knows he’s going to get a rouse out of him. He spent a good enough time sparring with Raph to figure out how to egg on that temper. A temper that would then make Raph angry and thoughtless, thus becoming rash with his fighting technique. Ultimately becoming careless and in total defeat. Again, don’t get me started on how Leo has NOT recognized his brother yet. Even after Leo has eluded yet another strike from the chains and the Nightwatcher turns around, Leo still gives a CHUCKLE to his face. He’s begging for that temper to be released. He’s ready for a real fight. And Raph’s more than ready to finally kick his big brother’s ass.

Raph absolutely takes on the offense with a full charge to Leo as he does three heavy swings. Leo eludes all three until coming back with a counter-attack on the third. Leo does a fair job of holding his defense until Raph throws a huge right hook to the side of Leo’s head. I mean, it’s enough to knock him back a few paces and shake it off. This is when his face really goes completely serious. He’s just been caught off guard. There’s something in him that’s telling him to quit the wise-guy act. I mean, it was a simple punch, something I’m sure he is mentally beating himself up for misreading. Yet, he doesn’t charge back. He stands his ground while Raph is still the offender.

Then Leo tries to continue to coach this dude by telling him how anger is destructive. This is probably something Splinter did as they were growing up. Also, Leo never once unsheathes his weapons on the Nightwatcher (yes, he ultimately does with Raph, but that’s later on. Hold tight, my dude). Even when the Nightwatcher drew out his chains, Leo didn’t react by drawing his own blades. I feel like being able to hold your own during hand-to-hand shows power/strength, while fighting with weapons shows skill. Which is another reason why I think Leo teased him at the beginning of the fight; he didn’t really expect this vigilante to have had any actual training with these weapons. He’s probably just some punk who thinks it’s cool. Another Casey Jones or Purple Dragon that could probably be knocked on his ass in 3 hits max.

Leo’s uppercut is powerful as hell. He shot Raph like 6 feet in the air. And that can’t be easy. I can’t imagine how much these boys weigh. They’ve got the mass of a typical bodybuilder + the weight of their shell + the weight of their weapons PLUS Raph’s entire armor. That’s heavy as hell.

Okay. The “Goodnight, Dark Prince” line. I don’t like it. It doesn’t seem to fit. When has this character ever been referred to as the Dark Prince? The only other thing Leo has referred to this vigilante is Nightwatchmen. Though, I get that it would be kinda redundant to say “Goodnight, Nightwatcher.”

That’s another thing. Leo never meant to kill this dude. Just knock him out to drop him off at the police station later. Leo doesn’t kill. I mean, the very beginning of the film where he had his one-on-one with the raider leader almost implied that he killed him. Because the shot changed as soon as Leo made contact with the guy and all you hear is a loud scream making a flock of birds fly away in fright. If he was dark enough to kill these types of men (because IF he killed him, that probably wasn’t the first guy he had killed) in South America, that’s most likely the “dark path” / “dead-end” that he was referring to earlier. But I guess being back in the city does make him revert back to his old tendencies (but it shouldn’t completely disregard whatever messed up shit he had done in South America. That stuff should still be carried with him). Not even Raph is low enough to kill criminals. In his first scene in the film all Raph does is knock out some burglars and chain them up for the cops to find later on. It makes me wonder what would it have been like if Raph had gone to South America instead of Leo, while Leo stayed in the city. Would Leo have taken on his role of his own Nightwatcher? In the 2012 series, we see him become some sort of vigilante but he’s got Karai and Shinigami with him. It doesn’t seem very in character for Leo to go solo like Raph did. Of course, Leo would still miss the fight, but I’m sure he’d wise up and get a job just like his younger brothers.

Okay, here we go. Here’s that brother angst we’ve been waiting for. When Leo first realizes who’s actually behind the mask, he’s not angry. He’s not mad. Not even disappointed. He’s really just shocked out of his mind. Complete disbelief. He just walks closer to Raph in hopes to talk to him. Perhaps apologize for fighting him just moments before, that he truly had no idea. But Raph doesn’t even turn to face his brother before doing a powerful back kick to Leo’s chest. Which, of course, takes Leo by surprise. Sure they had had a couple arguments since he’s been back but honestly that’s how Leo remembered things being with Raph. He remembered small quarrels. Nothing serious. They had always butted heads. Even though Splinter warned Leo that Raph had taken Leo’s absence pretty hard, he didn’t really know what that meant until now. He didn’t understand why his brother had so much pent up rage toward him.

And Raph is throwing all these words at Leo. Calling him out by saying that he believes the world revolves around him. That they couldn’t possibly survive without him. I’m sure these words sting a bit to Leo but that’s not what he’s focused on. He’s starting to register everything. THIS is why Raph has always had an issue with him. THIS is the reason for his younger brother’s constant attitude. And when Raph says that they got along just fine without Leo, for a split second, you can totally see the pain that causes Leo. Like, that shit hurted. But he raises his voice and retaliates by calling him out on his bullshit. He’s telling Raph how immature it is that he’s taken up this new persona (*cough* still a tad hypocritical since he did basically the same thing as Ghost of the Jungle) because it’s causing danger to their family. I mean, at least the villagers were never truly afraid of Ghost, but the citizens of New York are terrified at what the Nightwatcher is and his motives. It’s all they’re talking about on the News lately. Raph has been causing a panic without even realizing it because he’s been too blinded by his own good intentions.

But Raph doesn’t want to hear it. Leo hasn’t been around. He left. He wasn’t there when the turtles were just sitting by without a leader while criminals still ran amok. I mean, Raph has been angry at the thought “why does Leo get to go?” “What are we supposed to do now?” And with Donnie and Mikey being too passive to stop Raph, there really isn’t anyone around to keep Raph from straying from this road. How can Leo honestly expect things to go back to normal?? How can this big shot waltz back into our lives after he’s missed the last year and a half? And how the hell does he think he’s still the boss of me?

And now Leo is trying to explain to him that the reason for being gone so long was to better himself for Raph and the boys. It wasn’t up to him to go to South America and be gone for so long. He didn’t ask for it. Just like Raph never asked to be second best. He didn’t want someone to lead him. This is just how things turned out. Neither of them can help what they went through in the past. It’s just a recipe for disaster when one party is trying to be the best they can be for the other party and positively beats themselves up if they let the second party down. Aaand when the second party is completely resentful of the first party because they were chosen for the role the second party wanted. Leo can’t get over the fact that no matter what he does to better himself for Raph, Raph will still disregard it. And Raph can’t get over the thought of the living embodiment of perfection that is his older brother, so he’s angry with himself for not being as perfect and takes it out on Leo.

And Raph has become his own leader. He’s become a lone-wolf that doesn’t need a leader anymore. He has good intentions (even though they are not being followed through quite right) and Leo is just coming back and messing everything up. Things have changed and Leo needs to realize this. But Raph also needs to take into consideration that Leo is trying to realize this. He’s been trying to reconnect with his brother. But Raph has put up such a strong wall around everyone that he thinks talking isn’t going to help.

Leo telling Raph that he isn’t ready to become his own leader is a tiny bit selfish in my opinion? I mean, I agree, but still. Like Leo sees that Raph never went on a hardcore training period off in some jungle halfway across the world. So, he thinks, how CAN Raph be ready if he hasn’t done that? But that’s the thing. Leo and Raph have their own way of doing things. Leo, in multiple iterations, tries so hard to have his brothers be exactly like him. If he achieves something a certain way, he expects his brothers to reach their achievements by doing it the exact same way. But Raph is fully capable of reaching his achievements his own way (same with Donnie and Mikey). That’s something that Leo has had a difficult time wrapping his head around.

I also don’t feel like Leo outwardly staying that he’s better than Raph is true to his character. There’s no doubt in my mind that Leo believes that and has thought it on SEVERAL occasions. But with his “gotta be the bigger man” personality, it’s hard to believe he would stoop so low as to actually say it to Raph’s face.

Now Raph laughs at this. And I feel like most of it is a fake laugh, but there’s still a part of it that’s real because he’s finally ready to show Leo that he’s better than him. This is the real fight that RAPH has been waiting for. The perfect match. The leader and the lone wolf. The Ghost of the Jungle and the Nightwatcher. Leo and Raph.

Leo still tries to have him call off this fight. He’s confident in himself that he will win. Both parties are, in fact. They’ve both developed such different fighting styles since the time they’ve sparred together, that they’re basically strangers to each other now. They both know this isn’t going to end well. That things will be different after the dust (rain?) settles. Leo has a negative outlook on it. He doesn’t think that Raph will ever be happy towards him again. If anything, Raph will probably shun him. This defeat could push Raph over the edge. This could make Raph leave for real. He doesn’t want that. It pains him that he has to fight his little brother. But Raph? Raph has a positive outlook. He believes that after he defeats Leo, Leo will then see Raph’s true potential. He’ll be recognized as the best, no longer second-best. He finally gets to prove to Leo that things are different.

Leo visibly sighs and shakes his head knowing there’s no getting out of this fight. His stubborn little brother won’t back down. It wouldn’t be honorable for Leo to stand down and admit defeat. It also wouldn’t be honorable to disgrace Raph by completely disregarding that he’s his brother and just going for the kill. He’s at a complete crossroads here. So, ultimately, he draws his swords.

The shot of the two boys staring at each other from across the roof — I want that as a poster !! It’s so gorgeous. I’m just noticing this now but it’s split JUST down the middle in terms of color. It gives a very yin and yang type picture. Leo is on the side where the red neon sign is glowing bright, thus making him glow a faint red color. Raph, on the opposite end, is on the side where the shine of the moon is hitting down, making his armor almost glow a pale blue. Ugh so much symbolism I may cry. Right off the bat you can tell the differences in the two boys. Raph has been in his ready-stance for a while. He’s been waiting for this. Leo stands tall with blades in hand but not in an attack stance. There’s still that sliver of hope that Raph will back down. It’s still early enough to put this behind them, but that window is fading fast. As the rain beats down around them, Leo realizes that the window is closed. Nothing will stop this fight. It’s happening. There is no going back.

Per the theme this rainy evening, Raph is the first one to charge. He runs like the brute he has become, fists clenched around his sai so he’s ready to stab or punch. Leo charges in a very graceful samurai run. Also the music. The thundering drums that beat so deep and so fast. It’s such a powerful scene.

The shot of the tip of Leo’s blade grazing the water on the roof is STUNNING. Honestly, who thinks of these details because I hope they got a RAISE back in 2007 😂 it’s beautiful

I also love how they both jumped toward each other as their first move. This shows that they are now both on the offense. Something snapped inside Leo to make him change up his tactics a bit. Almost to throw off Raph, who has never been the best at a defensive position. His strong suit is in the offense.

Still the differences between their fighting styles after the jump. Leo did a beautiful forward shoulder roll, which is a proper technique of coming out of a forward jump. It keeps your momentum going into your next attack. Raph landed on his feet which, may not be ideal, but gave him a split-second advantage to be on the offense for the next attack. Leo then had to block with his sword. This fight goes FAST. I’m watching it so carefully and I’m sure there are things that I’m missing. I love how Leo does a roll over Raph’s shell, and up until now I figured he had made contact with his shell, but he actually didn’t because just as Leo started his roll, Raph ducked forward out of the way. Then Raph does a couple kicks towards Leo’s head, which cause water to sprinkle EVERYWHERE and it’s gorgeous. Raph is just going ham and not letting up on Leo as he’s still going for those strikes. (Lol I took a stage combat course over the summer so I know a little bit of the lingo (but good god I am no expert so please call me out if you know I’m using improper terms)) Watching this scene makes me want to do a move chart with a list of moves they are doing and in the order they’re doing it haha. Finally, Leo is able to squeeze in two strikes towards Raph, both of which he ducks and then blocks.

The camera angles are wonderful. Have I talked about that yet? I mean the shot of the two of them squaring off. The little shot of the two of them fighting between the E and the D in the neon sign. And even the upcoming shot from below when they’ve got their weapons locked together. So beautiful.

This scene also really shows the details of the Nightwatcher suit.

And when Leo is able to do an X cross block with his swords at the downward blow Raph is throwing with his sai, and the camera angles are just moving with the characters. UGH. Here you can see that Leo really is mad. The fury of the fight is showing through his eyes as he watches his brother with a predator-like stare. *frantically looks up synonyms for furious* and boy oh boy, Raph is just seething as he twirls his blades. This small segment of them circling each other (sort of like a Spaghetti western style) is a fighting trope that I really dig. Sais are actually a lot larger than I gave them credit for. Those sharp boys are HUGE.

The way they have their teeth bared as they circle each other reminds me so much of two very dominate male animals fighting. Like two lions fighting for the pride. When Leo finally comes to a stop his eyebrows furrow just a tad bit more, almost impatiently waiting for Raph to make another offending move. Or possibly giving thought as if the fight was coming to its end. And Raph’s pupils are crazy dilated as he charges yet again. It’s like a sickness that has infested his mind, this constant need to one-up his older brother. It’s making him crazy. And the heaviness of that armor is making Raph charge like a rhino or something. And the shot of Leo tightening his grip on his blade gives the implication that there may have been a split second where he believed Raph was ready to be done with the fight.

Their eye contact hardly ever breaks during this scene. Raph is wanting to see that split second of worry in his brother’s eyes. He’s wanting to see that hesitation.

Now Leo charges and he has taken full offense. He strikes at Raph many times, closing him into the wall under one of the two signs. He throws seven blows before doing a jumping spin kick to Raph’s abdomen. You can tell that blow sent Raph back a ways, maybe even farther if that wall wasn’t there to stop him. He probably has some form of whiplash. And even as he’s starting to lock eyes with his opponent again, Leo’s sword comes RIGHT BY HIS NECK. Leo literally got so close to making a fatal would for Raph. And no, Leo had no intention of killing Raph. He was probably aiming to give Raph a nasty slash on his cheek. Just a warning. Something that would remind Raph to stay in his place.

Now here it is. The locking of their weapons. The climax of the fight. Raph is enraged and is gritting his teeth so hard that he’s shaking. In the shot from below, you can see the absolute force that they are using to one-up the strength of the other as their muscles are just quivering. And Raph tries to make himself become larger to push Leo back. Leo gives a quick glance down to his weapon in fear that the thin blade will give out. Swords aren’t meant to withstand this kind of pressure.

And when they do break. b o i. The shock and pain that sweeps through Leo is heartbreaking. He just lost. Even before Raph throws the final blow. Leo’s swords are finished, just as he is. His swords. The weapons he’s most likely had since he became leader all those years ago. A literal extension of his body. Taken away from him in an unforgivable instant. And right as Leo is taking a glance back up to Raph, Raph is already coming up to powerfully kick him straight through the jaw. Through his kick, Raph is still in his jump twirling around to deliver the fatal blow to his brother’s head. The spear of his sai is centimeters away from Leo’s head as he falls back and hits the concrete behind him. As soon as his eyes open after being knocked back, he registers how close that blade was to piercing his skull. He’s been around long enough to recognize a deadly shot. You can tell his mind is racing in that fraction of a second as he sees the blade and looks back up to Raph to question why on earth he would throw such a potentially devastating blow. And just like that, Raph standing above with Leo pinned to the ground, he has won. He has defeated Leo. Even still, you can see their expressions change numerous times as they process what has just happened. Raph still bares his teeth in anger/triumph. He’s finally showing Leo what he thinks of his “place”. Finally showing him that he is a worthy opponent to Leo.

Again, Leo is in shock. All he’s thinking is “why” and “what” and many other synonyms for said terms. You can see his eyes flit between Raph’s own as he continuously tries to read what his brother is thinking. Then his brows furrow once more as it finally sinks in. Raph hated Leo for so long. Up until the point where he came close enough to kill him. It didn’t matter how much Leo trained to be better for Raph. Raph still hated him. Every fiber of his being. He’s confused and frightened still as to why. Just because they fought doesn’t mean there was any resolution. Leo is still left in the dark as to WHY his brother actually despises him.

Raph, still seething, is beginning to shake all the way up to his face. Then it hits him. What he’s done. His pupils widen as his eyebrows slowly shift up. That’s Leo. That’s his older brother. That’s his family. That’s who he’s got pinned down. Who he nearly sent a sharp blade through the skull. Who he nearly murdered. Leo is still staring up at him, I’m sure wondering how someone could be filled with so much hate. Maybe for a split second, if the Ghost of the Jungle actually did kill those raiders in South America, Leo saw himself in Raph. Perhaps that scared him. This could have been the path Leo was headed down if it wasn’t for April coming and pleading for Leo to return home. No one was able to help Raph. No one tried to stop him from going too far down this path. Was it because he had been absent? Was this all because he left? This is what Raph really thinks of Leo, huh?

I love how no words are spoken here, yet again. It’s brilliant what can be said without any actual words. There’s so much emotion between the boys after what just happened.

And here’s Raph again. Still processing. He tries to shake it away as if it’s just a bad thought or a nightmare. He’s in disbelief of his own actions. He then starts to shy away from Leo as if in apology but honestly what’s to be said after that that will make everything better? He also looks a little to the right of Leo, but we don’t get to see what he’s looking at. Up until this point, I’ve always just figured he was just looking away in thought, not on anything in particular. But now, I feel like he could possibly be looking at the rain falling on the concrete roof as if to help him figure out that this is reality. That he’s actually here in this moment. And so is Leo. OR, he could be looking at Leo’s broken swords, which is also bringing him back to reality. He destroyed a part of his brother. He could have done so much more destruction. He gets up ever so gently as if Leo is a paper doll that will break under his weight or a sudden shift of movement.

Leo still clutching onto his sword handles is probably subconscious instinct, like when something suddenly scares you and your muscles clench up and you hold tighter onto whatever. And here you can see that he’s actually showing that he’s in pain. His adrenaline is wearing off so the blows from just moments before are actually beginning to enflame his body. I’m sure there’s a part of him that’s scared of Raph now. Like there’s no more teasing or mocking. If he were to try it again, I’m sure he believes things could spiral out of control again. Something neither of them wanted anytime soon. His face is a little hard to read when he stands up, but mostly because he’s in pain and is showing that in his gestures and expression. Knowing Leo, he’s probably mentally asking so many questions. I’m sure he wants to talk. I’m sure he wants Raph to talk. But what on earth are either of them to say?

They’re exhausted from the fight. Leo is visibly heaving his body. Raph is still stunned as ever as his eyes are fixed on his brother who is SOMEHOW ALIVE ?? He shakes his head slightly as the thought creeps through his mind again. As the more devastating idea enters. He doesn’t even want to consider what the aftermath would have been like. What if it actually happened. What if Leo wasn’t standing right in front of him? What if he was still on the concrete ground, covered in rain pellets, immovable. Just… still. With a single sai protruding from his head. No. He messed up. How could things ever be the same again? How could he move on from this? How could he go home and face his family? His brothers? Splinter? He feels like such a little kid. A scared child who’s worried about the consequences of his actions. He would be disowned. He would be shunned. He would be hated. What was he to do? He glances down at his weapons, still in hand, and gives a tiny gasp. These were almost murder weapons. Of his own brother’s death. So, he runs. Any specific destination, probably not. He just needed to be away from Leo. He has no idea if he’ll ever see him again. Or his family. He just messed up way too horribly. How would anyone be able to forgive him? How could Leo even be facing him?

As he turns away to disappear into the night, Leo inaudibly tries to call him back. Even after all that, Leo’s still trying to reach out to him. He doesn’t want Raph to leave. This is something they NEED to discuss. He’s not mad or angry at his brother. He’s confused. He could see it in Raph’s eyes that Raph was guilty about what he almost did. I’m sure he doesn’t audibly call out to Raph because he’s partially too exhausted to do so. Plus, I’m sure there’s still a bit of fear right on the surface.

As Raph runs, he is most definitely ugly crying. But we can’t see that because of the pouring rain :’D so. And then Leo gets captured and yadayada. Wow. I think I may be FINALLY done talking about this 😂 I’m exhausted. If you read this much I’m honestly super proud of you and I appreciate you haha you’re amazing. If you have anything you want to talk about concerning the ninja turtles (preferably the 2007 film because it’s fresh on my mind, but I’m also down to talk about the other movies or the tv shows) don’t even hesitate to ask. I love talking about the turtles. We can debate certain topics, gush about OTPs, talk about issues we had with certain things. I love all that.

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luobingmeis · 4 years

Note

For the fluff/angst prompt thing, 85 and/or 40 for fargo? 🥺🥺

A/N: anon thank you for my life these prompts are a gift and i would lay down my life for you……………… i’m still playing around with ship dynamics and grad characterization but this was a lot of fun!!!! and also this feels a lot more pre-fargo still in that “what are we” stage

post-writing note: i ended up not being able to fit #40 in, but i still hope you enjoy!!! ....... might try to find another fic to work that prompt into

(also just thought i’d say to the general public that, while im doing a lot of taz grad shipping w/ fitzroy/rainer and fitzroy/argo, i am not looking to force anyone to ship anything nor am i looking to start any “””ship wars””” omg, this is all just for fun!!!!)

(so anyways!!!!)

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85) “Don’t lie to me.”

——————————–

Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt, Knight in whatever-the-fuck in the Realm of It-Doesn’t-Fucking-Matter-Right-Now was an idiot. A fucking idiot. Only he would get himself stabbed on a mission miles away from the school. Only he would run into the fray of chaos to stop it.

Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt was an idiot and a bad villain.

But Argo wasn’t panicking. Not panicking at all.

He was just near dragging Fitzroy down a dark, damp alley as blood seeped through his robes and into Argo’s own tunic. Which would be a bitch to get out. Blood always was. But it was okay. Fine, even! Because Bud had been able to heal Fitzroy… kind of. Not much, because spell slots were an issue, but, hey! It was probably enough to keep Fitzroy from bleeding out within the hour!

And, yeah, they were supposed to be trying to work out a deal with two rivaling guilds and not getting ambushed by a group of bandits larger than the party they came with, but it was all good! And, sure, Rolandus, Rainer, and Bud might have had to run distraction while Leon and Buckminster try to get in contact with the school’s emergency hotline, and Argo might just be getting more and more lost as he pulled Fitzroy’s semi-conscious body through streets that he already didn’t know, but it was fine!

Completely, and totally, and absolutely, and… and…

Fuck, why did he have to get hurt?

“Argo,” Fitzroy, voice strained, managed out. He was barely walking already but, even so, his feet stumbled over each other and Argo had to secure him tighter. “Wait… hold on…”

Argo wanted to deny him, wanted to say that they needed to keep moving, needed to get somewhere they knew, but he looked down at Fitzroy’s grimace and the sweat on his brow, and found that he couldn’t.

“Okay, okay,” Argo said quickly, his eyes darting around for anything that could support Fitzroy, though the sentiment was short-lived as Fitzroy began to become dead-weight in his arms. “Okay, wait, wait, wait-” And, as carefully as he could (and trying to still his shaking hands), he helped lower Fitzroy down onto the cobblestones and watched him wince as he leaned back against the wall “-I, uh, are you- where does it hurt?”

Fitzroy, as Argo kneeled down in front of him, shot him a tired, pained grin. “What d’ya mean? I’m doing just fine.”

“Don’t lie to me,” Argo hissed, flashing his eyes from Fitzroy’s face to the ever-growing dark patch on his shirt. He ghosted his hand over it, wanting to see the damage but too scared to face it. “Not-” He cleared his throat, shaking his head “-not here.”

Fitzroy watched his face and, after a moment, let his head fall back against the brick wall as his eyes slipped shut. “Everywhere.” He swallowed thickly. “But maybe I’m just dramatic.”

“We already know that,” Argo murmured, hands moving to the buttons at Fitzroy’s collar and then freezing. It was silly, almost: Fitzroy was wounded and bleeding before him, yet Argo froze to unbutton his shirt, but-

“It won’t be a pretty sight,” Fitzroy said.

“Is this okay?” Argo asked, quietly.

Fitzroy nodded.

Argo was careful. He had to be; tact was integral in his line of work before the school, both in stealing and in patching up his own wounds, but now he found himself praying that his hands were defter, gentler.

Leave it to fucking Fitzroy Maplecourt to turn him gentle.

He had been right, though: it wasn’t a pretty sight.

The biggest problem was the actual stab wound in the left side of his stomach. Not particularly large and, wracking his brain, Argo couldn’t think of any organs that the wound would’ve hit (plus, Bud’s healing probably helped in that aspect), but, nonetheless, the wound was still bleeding much more than probably wanted. The rest of his stomach and chest, though, was marked with slash wounds, all varied in length and depth, and even some bruising already beginning to purple along his side.

“Shit,” Argo whispered.

Fitzroy was caught somewhere between a smirk and a grimace. “So, what’s the verdict, doc?”

“That you’re an idiot,” Argo said, though he was already tearing off parts of his own tunic for make-shift bandages. “Fucking villain rushing in to de-escalate a situation. That’ll show up in your report card, don’t you think?”

“Good to know that you care, Argo.” Fitzroy hissed as Argo pressed a bandage to the deepest wound, and Argo tried to not think about it too much.

Of course I do, Argo said, except it came out as, “Well, first time for everything.”

His relationship with Fitzroy was complicated, as most things involving Fitzroy were. The two cared for each other more than either would admit, not necessarily out of pride, but out of the rocky road it took to get them there. Working through their rivalry and stubborness had taken time, taken work, but, before long, Argo found himself willing to do what it takes to help Fitzroy, and, well…

Fitzroy threw himself into the bandits after one barely missed Argo with a throwing knife.

It was a devotion that the school almost expected of them: kicks and henches throwing themselves forward in defense, heroes and villains throwing them into the midst of it all for some big showdown. And, in practice, it was fun. The three of them laughed when Bud used his imposing form to simply block the two of them when Rattles rushed them with a dulled rapier. Argo found joy in sneaking around corners to catch Rainer and Fitzroy off guard in practice scrimmages, only for them both to laugh as Fitzroy charged him and missed at the last moment.

Practice was always fun.

It was when it was real, when there were no do-overs, that Argo realized it wasn’t always such. Maybe Fitzroy did, too. Maybe they realized, too, that the two of them—three of them—were stronger fighting together instead of letting one take the brunt of the damage.

Hell, Argo didn’t want Fitzroy to get hurt while rushing in for some final showdown.

Maybe Fitzroy didn’t want Argo sacrificing himself to take the damage, either.

As Argo’s hands finished tying a secure knot in the make-shift bandage, Fitzroy watched his movements. Even though blood still seeped through, he hoped that it was enough to slow it. All he could do was hope.

“It’s a knight thing,” Fitzroy said, tired, and Argo eyed him, confused. "Rushing into battle. I’m trained to protect people, so... that’s what I did.”

“That’s some pretty sidekick thinking for a villain.”

Fitzroy laughed slightly before quickly, painfully, catching himself. “Well, maybe those stupid human shield games stuck.”

Argo, barely managing a smile, shook his head. “You… you didn’t have to do that. You’re hurt now and… you’re gonna be fine, we’ll find the others, but… you’re hurt.”

“I know,” Fitzroy said. “But…” He released a breath and let his head fall back again. “I just couldn’t hold myself back. They attacked first, attacked you first, and I just…”

Argo wanted to say that he could handle himself, but he knew that wasn’t the point Fitzroy was making.

“Well, thanks,” Argo said. “But next time you’re about to go rushing in, at least give us a warning? A codeword, perhaps?”

“Come up with a cool pirate one and we’ll be golden.”

Argo nodded and, worrying his bottom lip, studied Fitzroy quickly. He was still looking a little pale, and his eyes were scrunched up tight, but his breathing was decently okay, and-

“I can feel you staring,” Fitzroy murmured. “My half-elf senses are tingling.”

“That makes no sense,” Argo mumbled, but didn’t deny it.

Fitzroy cracked an eye open. “Thank you, though, Argo,” he said. “For… helping me.”

Complicated or not, whatever their relationship was, first and foremost, Fitzroy was one of his two closest friends at Wiggenstaff’s, and the last thing he wanted was for his friends to be hurt.

Argo flashed a smirk. “Is that a proper honoring from Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt?”

“Think of it as me, Fitzroy, your roommate, your-” Their eyes, for just a second, caught each other “-friend, appreciating what you’ve done for me.”

Seeing Fitzroy pained like this, vulnerable like this, made Argo realize that he wanted two things: something more, and to never see Fitzroy hurt again.

Argo felt his face heat up, and was almost thankful of the darkness for hiding his flushed face before remembering that Fitzroy had darkvision.

“Well, of course, Fitzroy,” Argo said. “I would never leave you.” He swallowed, his eyes quickly darting around the alley. “Not to bleed out, that is. Or be stabbed by a bunch of sneaky bandits.”

Fitzroy cracked a smile and opened his mouth to say something before he was interrupted by a voice calling out, “Argo! Fitzroy!” which was followed by another saying, quieter, “Where the fuck could they have gone?”

Argo, nearly unable to measure how relieved he was, called back to Buck and Rolandus, “We’re over here!”

“Oh thank god,” Fitzroy breathed out and, at the thought of being able to return to the school, he seemed to sag further against the wall, almost as if he had been trying to hold himself together up until this point.

“You’re hurting, aren’t you?” Argo asked, quietly.

“Terribly so,” Fitzroy whispered. Footsteps, not too far away, could be heard hitting the pavement.

“We should probably get you up, though,” Argo said, feeling ready to hoist Fitzroy over his shoulder and walk back to campus if it was needed. “We… we have to get moving.”

Fitzroy sighed but, upon Argo standing, accepted his outstretched hand, and let himself be helped.

#taz graduation #sir fitzroy maplecourt #argo keene #fargo #fitzroy/argo #sorry to anyone looking into the fargo show tag i just... dont know if / show up in tagging systems omg #answered #stuff i write

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queerdraws · 5 years

Text

Ineffable Husbands playlist

For anyone looking for an ungodly long playlist that is probably going to be under construction forever: Here You Go

I also want to plug this playlist while im at it because I absorbed a lot of songs from it & it’s very good. much more concise FULL CURRENT TRACKLIST, 41 songs (as of 7.6.19) UNDER THE CUT Including: tally hall (an absurd amount), hozier (of course), frank sinatra, the mountain goats, sufjan stevens, queen, elbow, velvet underground, mitski...etc.

Frank Sinatra - The Best is Yet to Come

Out of the tree of life I just picked me a plum You came along and everything started in to hum Still it's a real good bet The best is yet to come

Best is yet to come and babe won't that be fine You think you've seen the sun But you ain't seen it shine

A wait til the warm up's under way Wait til our lips have met And wait til you see that sunshine day You ain't seen nothing yet ... Wait til your charms are right for these arms, to surround You think you've flown before But baby you ain't left the ground

Hozier - From Eden (obligatory)

Babe, there's something wretched about this Something so precious about this Oh what a sin

To the strand a picnic plan for you and me A rope in hand for your other man to hang from a tree Honey you're familiar like my mirror years ago

Idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on it's sword Innocents died screaming, honey ask me I should know I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door

Tally Hall - You & Me

Off again we go Another seed to sow Another part to keep in proper order

What have I begun? Get away undone I have seen the signs and I ignored them

Now it's you And me Divine A circular design (do do-do do-doo) Time, and place, and mind Points along the line (do do-do do-doo)

Sitting in the park Carefully remark Everything is better when you're learning

You were in the dark And I was in the dark Everything is made to keep on turning

Barenaked Ladies - It’s All Been Done

I met you before the fall of Rome And I begged you to let me take you home You were wrong, I was right You said goodbye, I said goodnight

It's all been done It's all been done It's all been done before

I knew you before the west was won And I heard you say the past Was much more fun You go your way, I go mine But I'll see you next time

It's all been done It's all been done It's all been done before

The Strokes - Under Cover of Darkness (the times between meetings)

We got the right to live, fight to use it Got everything but you can just choose it I won't just be a puppet on a string

Don't go that way I'll wait for you

And I'm tired of all your friends Listening at your door I want what's better for you

So long, my friend and adversary But I'll wait for you

Conor Oberst - To All the Lights in the Windows (Crowley POV, Aziraphale not quite meeting him half way wrt The Arrangement. Talks about various biblical events throughout time, like they’re meeting up there)

Jesus off in the water, standing on His feet Yeah, that's the thing about charisma it makes everyone believe But there is nothing impossible When I'm with you and when you're with me I got a sad sinking feeling that, that can never be

But I'm going to do what I can for you, I will make a plea To all the lights in the windows, the puddles in the streets And all the lovers that you've been teasing from your balcony May they carry you far from my memory

Light a Roman Candle with Me (Crowley POV)

Light a roman candle with me Just a roman candle, you can wear your sandals And I'll pour you just one cup of tea. Then you can go and rest You haven't seen my best, so

Just spend an evening with me Just a lazy evening, then you could be leaving Or we could stay and talk until three. I will think it's magic and I'll hope you'll agree, so

Light a roman candle with me. Just a roman candle. Just a perfect apple.

If we were honest and both wrote a sonnet together A sandwich with everything on it, At least we would know that the sparks didn't glow But we owe it to ourselves to try, So we aim and ignite! So often I call and I plead with you: "Give me a chance!" It's not often that I understand The ins and the outs of what's wrong and what's right So don't think of tomorrow tonight.

Oh, I know, it goes on, it gets old But for now we're young, we smell good, we're alone

You look for a legend, I'm looking for common ground. Your heart isn't breaking, And mine isn't making a sound.

Oh I know, it goes on, it gets old Oh I know, it goes on, it gets old

Light a roman candle with me. Just a roman candle. Just a perfect apple.

Tears for Fears - Head Over Heels (mmm pining)

You keep your distance with a system of touch And gentle persuasion I'm lost in admiration, could I need you this much? Oh, you're wasting my time You're just, just, just wasting time

Something happens and I'm head over heels I never find out till I'm head over heels Something happens and I'm head over heels Ah, don't take my heart, don't break my heart Don't, don't, don't throw it away

Throw it away Throw it away

Mother Mother - Problems

You and me, we're not the same I am a sinner, you are a saint When we get to the pearly gates You'll get the green light I'll get the old door in the face

Doo, doo, doo I'm a loser, a disgrace, yeah

I've found love in the strangest place Tied up and branded, locked in a cage I say I'm gonna stage a great escape Let loose and love all But baby we're out of place

Doo, doo, doo I'm a loser, a disgrace You're a beauty A luminary, in my face

I got it all, and not a lot, I got a lot less than a lot I've got problems, not just the ones that are little It's those people problems, it's something to consider When you come for dinner at my place

The Mountain Goats - New Zion (sort of a flashback to the garden, i don’t like to put really mellow songs at the very beginning of playlists so this was the best place i could fit this one in)

There were signs up in the sky When we gathered by the garden wall Everybody on his best behavior Listening for the altar call

High priest of Salem in his robes Ranting of the coming of the day Ravens at the gates Frightening all the visitors away

I lay down by the water Dreamed a dream of where I come from Old things made new Waiting for you

There were wooden wind chimes rustling In the trees above the anthills on the dunes On the high winds, we could hear them Old familiar tunes

The little bit of faith we had once Like the memory of a movie They got burned up in the great fire Reassembling itself slowly by surely

I lay down by the water Dreamed a dream of where I come from Old things made new Waiting for you

Tally Hall - Who You Are (Aziraphale POV)

Maybe there's something to being the one who you are Holding the thoughts in as you pull away in your car I get to thinking a little too often & All that I want is a little aloft & Maybe it's all too much thinking and not enough heart

How is it all of the people can know who you are? Off in the distance emitting a glow in the dark All of it subtle and all of it very bizarre How is it all of the people can know who you are? I see you Not too far

Armed to the teeth You will sit at the fireside We are the ones who have chosen the other side It was easy to see You were ready to be And it all falls down

You rose up and rode away underground Alone us finding our way to found

Catfish and the Bottlemen - Longshot

Go, ahead and tell me you got all you want Fiver says you're wrong And I suppose you've come down to help me Move things along ... Listen, the distance between us, could've took a while Once we closed that difference, you turned up like a friend of mine Every once in a while, the little things make me smile As if one of our longshots paid off One of our longshots paid off

So yeah, go, ahead and tell me something real Come on, how'd you feel? And I suppose you've come down to help me Answer to the riddle To the riddle

Why we laughed it off and we're wise enough, who knows?

Queen - You’re My Best Friend (obligatory)

Oh, you're the best friend that I ever had I've been with you such a long time You're my sunshine and I want you to know That my feelings are true I really love you Oh, you're my best friend

Ooh, you make me live

Ooh, I've been wandering 'round But I still come back to you In rain or shine

Apples in Stereo - Baroque

In the moonlight I see my memories In a new light, they seem so real to me I remember You know I remember And the starlight tripping in the sky Come on, we can still go there tonight I remember You know I remember We haven't changed We just feel a little strange We haven't changed We're just a little bit deranged

Umphrey’s McGee - Made to Measure (Crowley POV, “’you go too fast for me???’ what’s that supposed to mean??”)

Please excuse this I know it's rude But I was just trying to satisfy someone who requested mine You're hard to please And no one knows just what you need If you won't ever ask for help then how am I to tell? Uncomfortable You wear it well The sooner that you come around, the offer's waited to be found Anytime you need it I am already there and waiting What's yours is mine but you’re inclined to hesitate to try Don't get me wrong here I just want to make my intentions clear There's no room for reading into deep, if things aren't written down As soon as I've been told That you will not be sold Then we could all move forward here, and find our endings well You need a break It's hard to take the time When things will just move faster and we're never ever slowing down Anytime you need it I'm already there and waiting What's yours is mine but you’re inclined to hesitate to try And after all the bullshit shuffled, piles up inside There's only room for you and me And what we've left to try

Hayley Kiyoko - What I Need (”I’m going to alpha centauri and I won’t even THINK about you!”)

All the back and forth getting complicated Running me around got me frustrated No, that's why I been laying low If you wanna make it work, baby, gotta say it Need a little more than participation Oh, I could go be on my own ... What I need, what I need, what I need Is for you to be sure

The Mountain Goats - San Bernardino (Az POV, unsure of timeline placement on this one but it’s very tender)

We got in your car and we hit the highway Eastern sun was rising over the mountains Yellow and blood-red bits Like a kaleidoscope

And flaming swords may guard the garden of Eden But we consulted maps from earlier days Dead languages on our tongues Holding onto our last hope

And the day was bright and fine And the highway sign Said "San Bernardino Welcomes you!"

I checked us into our motel and filled the bathtub And you got in the warm, warm water I pulled petals from my pocket I loved you so much just then

Sufjan Stevens - To Be Alone with You (another tender, possibly Az POV song)

I'd swim across Lake Michigan I'd sell my shoes I'd give my body to be back again In the rest of the room

To be alone with you To be alone with you To be alone with you To be alone with you

You gave your body to the lonely They took your clothes You gave up a wife and a family You gave your goals

To be alone with me To be alone with me To be alone with me You went up on a tree

To be alone with me you went up on the tree

I've never known a man who loved me

Elbow - Starlings (Crowley POV)

How dare the premier ignore my invitations? He'll have to go So too the bunch he luncheons with It's second on my list of things to do

At the top I'm stopping by Your place of work and acting like I haven't dreamed of you and I And marriage in an orange grove

You are the only thing In any room you're ever in I'm stubborn, selfish and too old

I sat you down and told you how The truest love that's ever found is for oneself You pulled apart my theory With a weary and disinterested sigh

So yes, I guess I'm asking you To back a horse that's good for glue and nothing else But find a man that's truer than Find a man that needs you more than I

Sit with me a while And let me listen to you talk about Your dreams and your obsessions I'll be quiet and confessional

The violets explode inside me When I meet your eyes Then I'm spinning and I'm diving Like a cloud of starlings Darling, is this love?

The Cure - Why Can’t I Be You?

You're so gorgeous I'll do anything I'll kiss you from your feet to where your head begins You're so perfect you're so right as rain You make me Make me, make me, make me hungry again

Everything you do is irresistible Everything you do is simply kissable Why can't I be you? ... Everything you do is simply delicate Everything you do is quite angelicate Why can't I be you? Why can't I be you?

Hozier - It Will Come Back (Crowley POV, don’t be kind to me i’ll get attached oh shit oh shit it already happened aughh)

I know who I am when I'm alone Something else when I see you You don't understand, you should never know How easy you are to need

Don't let me in with with no intention to keep me Jesus Christ, don't be kind to me Honey don't feed me I will come back

Can't be unlearned I've known the warmth of your doorways Through the cold, I'll find my way back to you Oh please, give me mercy no more That's a kindness you can't avoid! I want you baby tonight, as sure as you're born

You'll hear me howling outside your door Don't you hear me howling babe?

The Mountain Goats - So Desperate (Az POV)

We were parked in your car In our neutral meeting place, the Episcopalian churchyard I had things I'd been meaning to say But in the dazzling winter sun that late, I could feel them melt away

And through the warm radio static I couldn't hear my stage directions And the fog on the windshield Obscured our sad reflections

I felt so desperate In your arms I felt so desperate In your arms

We were parked near some trees And the moonlight soaked the branches in ever deepening degrees Had my hand in your hair Trying to keep my cool until it became too much to bear

When we cracked the windows open Well, the air was just so sweet We could hear the cars ten feet away Out there in the street

I felt so desperate In your arms I felt so desperate In your arms

Velvet Underground - I’ll Be Your Mirror

When you think the night has seen your mind That inside you're twisted and unkind Let me stand to show that you are blind Please put down your hands 'Cause I see you

Mitski - Strawberry Blonde (pining)

I love everybody Because I love you I don't need the city, and I Don't need proof All I need, darling Is a life in your shape I picture it, soft And I ache

Ok Go - Last Leaf (Crowley POV, i will go as slow as you need me to)

If you should be the last Autumn leaf hanging from the tree I'll still be here waiting on the breeze to bring you down to me

And if it takes forever Forever it'll be And if it takes forever Forever it'll be

And if you should be the last seed in Spring to venture forth a leaf I'll still be here waiting on the rain to warm your heart for me

And if it takes forever Forever it'll be And if it takes forever Forever it'll be

Coldplay - Til Kingdom Come

Hold my head inside your hands I need someone who understands I need someone, someone who hears For you, I've waited all these years

For you I'd wait 'til kingdom come Until my day, my day is done And say you'll come and set me free Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me

In your tears and in your blood In your fire and in your flood I hear you laugh, I heard you sing I wouldn't change a single thing

And the wheels just keep on turning The drummers begin to drum I don't know which way I'm going I don't know what I'll become

White Lies - A Place to Hide (mixed POV, apocalypse starts)

I've been searching through my books to try and find some truth Perhaps disguised as a mysterious way And if I made a promise Could I stay by your side? Would you guarantee my safety And say that I'd be all right?

But if Judgment Day started tonight at least I'd know I was right And I'd be laughing at the end of the world Take my hand tonight I'll think we'll be alright, girl

And I can see it on the TV, there's an air attack People of the mountains screaming I'll be back And I'm banging on your door so come on and let me in Need a place to hide, I need a place to hide before the storm begins

If I told you all the times when I'd done wrong Could you bathe my soul and wash it all away? I can't forgive the things that I can still remember So I think my friendly sins are here to stay

New Pornographers - Adventures in Solitude (Somebody killed my best friend)

Balancing on one wounded wing Circling the edge of the never ending The best of the vanished marvels Have gathered inside your door

More than begin but less than forget But spirits born from the not happened yet Gathering there to pay off a debt Brought back from the wars

We thought, we lost you We thought, we lost you We thought, we lost you Welcome back ... I know you want to run far away From one more and that it's comin' at a bad time Some cold place heartless ways for all we know

I know you need to breathe through Come back, come too but it's comin' at a bad time Tangled day, for all we know

I know you want to run far away from one more And that's comin' at a bad time Some cold race heartless ways for all we know

I know you want to breathe through Come back, come too but it's comin' at a bad time Old scarred face survivor's guilt, for all we know

Snow Patrol - The Lightning Strike (What if This Storm Ends?) (Crowley POV, you’re back! oh god i could’ve lost you forever.)

What if this storm ends? And I don't see you As you are now Ever again

The perfect halo Of gold hair and lightning Sets you off against The planet's last dance

Just for a minute The silver forked sky Lit you up like a star That I will follow

Now it's found us Like I have found you I don't want to run Just overwhelm me

What if this storm ends? And leaves us nothing Except a memory A distant echo

I want pinned down I want unsettled Rattle cage after cage Until my blood boils

I want to see you As you are now Every single day That I am living

Painted in flames All peeling thunder Be the lightning in me That strikes relentless

Grandaddy - A.M. 180 (the apocalypse is over. please still hang out with me? we can do anything, no need for serious plans. whatever together.)

Don't change your name Keep it the same For fear I may lose you again I know you won't It's just that I am unorganized And I want to find you when Something good happens

If you come down We'll go to town I haven't been there for years But I'd be fine Wasting our time Not doing anything here Just doing nothing

We'll sit for days And talk about things Important to us like whatever We'll defuse bombs Walk marathons And take home whatever together

Whatever together

My Chemical Romance - The Only Hope for Me is You (okay maybe we have a little trauma abt the apocalypse, anyway i love you?)

Where were you when All of the embers fell I still remember there Covered in ash Covered in glass Covered in all my friends I still Think of the bombs they built

If that's the best that I could be? Than I'd be another memory Can I be the only hope for you? Because you're the only hope for me And if we can't find where we belong, We'll have to make it on our own Face all the pain and take it on Because the only hope for me is you alone

How it should you be Many years after the disasters that we've seen What we have learned Other than people burn in purifying flame

I say it's okay I know you can tell And though you can see me smile I still Think of the guns they sell

Delta Spirit - Yamaha (Az POV, I’m sorry about the wait, I love you too)

I've been alone too many nights Too proud to tell you when you're right A little patience would have helped me then A lot like the break has been the common standard All the angels above the earth I prayed Said this message right into her head There's certain things in life I cannot take And I will wait

I hope you know I care I hope you know I care

So cold, I know you can't believe it Sometimes you gotta face the feelin' You don't care if you don't get up again There's a thousand things I will not understand (I hope you know I care) Now you're dealin' with the hell I put you through If I had my way I would be right there next to you There's certain things in life you cannot change There's certain things

I hope you know I care

Tally Hall - The Whole World and You (Crowley POV?)

There's lots of pretty people here Sharing soltries and passing letters and

There's lots of questions answered and Metaphysical astronomical songs

Words printed all on papers That seemed too mystical It's so magical

People that dance and compute that No one's better then you ... I hope you're happy now I've revealed the truth I've even written this whole song about you And not about me And not about me

Please don't just laugh and clap right now This is serious I'm not delirious

I've waited very patiently Just to let you know Who should run the show

Cause we all know these are the facts Nothing to retract Nothing too abstract

Concluding in the song I'll say No one's better than you

Ashley Eriksson - Island Song (South Downs cottage)

Come along with me To a town beside the sea We can wander through the forest And do so as we please Come along with me To a cliff under a tree Where we'll gaze upon the water As an everlasting dream All of my affections I give them all to you Maybe by next summer We won't have changed our tune I still want to be In this town beside the sea Making up new numbers And living so merrily All of my affections I give them all to you I'll be here for you always And always be for you Come along with me To a town beside the sea We can wander through the forest And do so as we please Living so merrily

The Mountain Goats - Genesis 30:3

I remember seeing you, my tongue struck dumb When you first came here from wherever it was you came from The power in your voice, your rough touch You keeping care of me, keeping watch ... For several hours we lay there, last ones of our kind Harder days coming, maybe I don't mind Sounds kind of dumb when I say it, but it's true I would do anything for you

Open up the promise of the day Drive the dark things away I will do what you ask me to do Because of how I feel about you

The Civil Wars - C’est La Mort (stay with me forever?)

Swan dive down eleven stories high Hold your breath until you see the light You can sink to the bottom of the sea Just don't go without me

Go get lost where no one can be found Drink so long and deep until you drown Say your goodbyes but darling if you please Don't go without me

C'est la vie C'est la mort You and me Forevermore

Let's walk down the road that has no end Steal away where only angels tread Heaven or hell or somewhere in between Cross your heart to take me when you leave Don't go, please don't go Don't go without me

The Magnetic Fields - When my Boy Walks Down the Street

Grand pianos crash together when my boy walks down the street There are whole new kinds of weather when he walks with his new beat Everyone sings hallelujah when my boy walks down the street Life just kind of dances through ya from your smile down to your feet

Amazing he's a whole new form of life Blue eyes blazing and he's going to be my wife

Sufjan Stevens - With My Whole Heart

And you're all I want (I fell in love, I fell in love the moment that I met you) And you're all I need (I give my life, I give my love, promise I will protect you) And you're all I've got (I will not rest until I know the best is always with you) And I still believe (I confess the world's a mess but I will always love you)

Tally Hall (edu) - Nowhere Else

There’s nowhere else I’d rather be Than in this moment you and me No place else I’d rather go No one else I’d rather know ... When the daylight turns to dusk Our energy a cosmic dust Trust with that in which you feel Love til the end ... love the lost and love the loved live below and love above love the earth and love the trees love those who give their lives for peace love all you call your family love you found a place to be love the ones with whom you fight love the ones who spend the night love the rich and love the poor love for want and want for more love the smile and simple things like those who want to live to sing love the ghost of what has passed love the trying till the last love the sick and love the strong love all who'll learn to get along

Frank Sinatra - I’ve Got a Crush on You

I'm your big and brave and handsome Romeo How I won you I shall never never know It's not that you're attractive But, oh, my heart grew active When you came into view I've got a crush on you, sweetie pie All the day and night-time hear me sigh I never had the least notion that I could fall with so much emotion

Could you coo, could you care For a cunning cottage we could share The world will pardon my mush 'Cause I have got a crush on you

Miracle Musical - Dream Sweet in Sea Major

Children born of one emotion Our devotion's deepest ocean No division reasoned we'll be Free

To know We are beyond a bow And lo, the hues arrange to show It's perfectly clear

You look quite divine tonight Here among these vibrant lights Pure delights surround us as we sail Signed, yours truly, the whale

Joy mirage's kingdom come No one left at stake Now that existence is on the wake Let's see what we can make

Apart is wholly ending A line in any final song So long so far

We will be atoning At last eternal through the past Above a blinding star

#playlist #ineffable husbands #good omens #aziraphale #crowley #i listen to it while drawing and reading fic so the goal is for it to be as long as possible #ive already added more songs to this as of 7.17.2019 #don't expect this to be a stable playlist lol

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qhostqizmo · 4 years

Text

Only You

it’s been a thousand years.png

im too tired to edit this

- - - - - - - - - - -

The sour churning of her stomach and sickly bitter taste left in her mouth made Essätha feel disgusted with herself. It’s not as though she had not went a life without envy; but this was not mere infatuation for luxuries she did not have. This was resentment, and a guarded insecurity for something that was not her own. She had no claims to Lord Amon, it was not her place to be jealous.

Maybe if she had more courage to open her mouth-

Then again, maybe not. Her stomach felt like it hit middle-earth at the terrifying thought. The rejection would sting; shattering fragile glass fairytale figurines playing in her mind. They would forever be cracked, even if she tried placing them together. And she adored him so; how in the world would they be able to look at each other or communicate for the remainder of this journey if she screwed this up?

She chewed on her lower lip in scowling defeat. The jiggle and bounce of her foot beneath the tap jostled it from time to time.

After what felt like hours, the nobleman approached the table with a grin on her face. Essie’s nerves felt too rattled and singed to appropriately evaluate it, but the inky swirling cloud of her thoughts were dark with a pair of green-eyes spitefully debating if that was the same look she put on his face, or more. Was it more? Was this more genuine?

“You’re the only one who waited for me?”

He seemed pleasantly puzzled. She tried to hide the strain in her smile, and swallow the venom on her tongue.

“I insisted.” Too cheery? He didn’t appear convinced.

“You didn’t have to wait if you didn’t want to, Essie.”

“I wanted to.” Dammit, she answered quickly. Eagerly. Too fast on her toes, she was almost breathless. Of course I’d wait for you, her tone said, I’ve been waiting what feels like a lifetime, for you. I could wait a little more.

The air seemed thin, or maybe she was just that lightheaded. Either way, a breath or two later, Amon offered her his hand, and cleared his throat. He appeared abnormally nervous, wearing a tense smile. Even his clammy hands had the jitters, his fingertips almost appearing to be shaking.

“I suppose we shouldn’t keep them waiting?”

Breathing out deeply through her nose, she nodded. The wolf nipping her heels had now latched on a firm grip. Jealousy was now replaced with one sorrowful note: defeat.

“Alright,” she mumbled, accepting his hand. It was as steady, firm, and reliable as she knew to be; but tender and careful just as equally in measure. His calluses made her weak, and the inquiry behind his indigo gaze made her melt. She had to watch her step getting up, just to make sure her sanity wouldn’t abandon her in place of betraying feelings, to clumsily fall into his chest like some weak-kneed lady in some romance novel.

He didn’t let go of her hand. He didn’t take his eyes off her, the smile lighting up his face and gaze twinkling in the way he regarded her.

The monster returned, surging to the surface faster then she could clamp her mouth shut into content silence.

“You really know what a woman wants.”

Like some goofy drawn comic, Amon’s jaw dropped into slack-jawed gaping.

“What?”

She was far too starved for his touch to let go of his hand, although that would be the proper thing to do. Keeping at bay the desire to wrap her fingers through his in the artful intimacy she enjoyed that made her heart flutter, Essätha merely squeezed his hand in a tight grasp and pulled his arm.

“That woman you were speaking with; she was absolutely hypnotized by you.”

Amon did not budge. He did not release her hand. His brow furrowed.

“Oh… I hadn’t noticed.”

She looked back at him, quirking a brow.

“What?”

“You’re telling me you didn’t notice a beautiful woman engaging all her time into you, while flirtatiously twirling her hair, giving you goo-goo eyes?”

Now he seemed interested.

“I hadn’t noticed,” he treaded with a deliberate slowness she could read easily. “The conversation was merely on topics I had knowledge about, and she had a lot of questions.” He inhaled, his next words escaping him in a stutter, “She… wasn’t exactly my definition of beauty, Essie.”

“I bet.”

The hurt leaked into her muttering; it was too much, breaching over the damn. As a pink stain of humiliation clouded her cheeks, Essie pulled her hand and looked away, trying to urge him to follow.

He did not budge.

Anxious and embarrassed, her defensive wall came up as she turned to look back at him. Her lips were firmly together, almost in questioning irritation.

Again his voice was clearly a man of studious care; he could see the eggshells; “I was trying to help her, Essie. It was only a casual conversation.” He swallowed thickly; his throat jumping. “… I only want to know what you want, and how I can give it to you.”

Oh fuck that sounded just like a romance novel.

She desperately tried to hold herself together, but the damage had been done. Her face grew hot in a flash so staggering she swore lightning wasn’t as fast or scorching, and she’d been struck by some pretty severe jolts. It took mere seconds for her eyes to diverge from his, but even out of the side of her gaze she could glimpse the growing horrified realization on the nobleman’s face. From hairline to neck, he was a shade of red more often attributed to having a stroke.

“… I am so sorry,” Amon choked, his grip relaxing on hers. “If… If I…”

“It’s fine,” she wheezed. It was all she could say, trying to hold her tongue.

“If I offended you-”

Again, the streak of doubt returned.

“No, I’m not,” Essie replied, her face beginning to cool as she turned her face a fraction. Amon caught her gaze. He appeared to grow more flush still.

Clearing his throat, the nobleman whispered, “That… same out sounding inappropriate. But I… I mean what I say. I care about what you, and what you want, and I want to make them a reality. I want to make you happy.”

Her disdain seemed poorly placed, but she couldn’t drop her shield all the way. Not yet. She needed that protection. It was her security blanket. Without it, the vulnerability, the insecurity, it all came spilling out in a mess. She didn’t want to scare him off.

The span of seconds ticked by like minutes. By now she was sure the rest of their party was beginning to question their whereabouts. Surprisingly, both her mind and heart inclined not to care too much.

Amon wet his lips. The knew this gesture; a nervous tick. He had something he wanted to say, and was fighting; preparing himself to say it.

His eyes shifted away from her.

Slumping her shoulders, the feeling of the moment of crackling something faded. Essie turned, surprised to find not one, but two men trying to hurriedly snap their eyes away.

Her heart jumped. Whispered Shadow agents?

The tightness of Amon’s hand in hers increased. It grew firmer then she was even used to, clasping tightly to her.

It took her a few moments longer than the nobleman to put two and two together. As they scurried along, they each shared a glance. The tint on their expressions were maroon. One nudged the other, and after a few words, one looked back at her. Her narrowed-gaze must have shown anger instead of inquisitive, because they were quick to hurry along.

A noise, drawn out and nasally, echoed in Amon’s nose and throat. “Scoundrels…”

Alarmed, Essätha placed her free hand over her heart to try calming it. “Were they watching us?”

“I don’t think they were watching me, Essie,” he muttered. Though his sentence was lacking of swears, it certainly sounded like a curse.

She narrowed her eyes suspiciously, staring off at night. Green-eyed monsters, huh…

Snorting back a laugh of disbelief, she shook her head. “You think they were staring at me?”

Baffled, as though her question should surprise him, the nobleman shook his head. He sighed, gently, and offered her a tender smile, as he replied, “You’re beautiful, Essätha, and I’m not the only one sees that.”

She scrunched up her nose, but her face still lit up pink. Panning her eyes back and away, she could still see a residue of his annoyance. Even with the sweetness of his eyes upon her, his jawline was still tight.

Lord Amon, jealous?

No… what did he have to be jealous for?

Squeezing his hand affectionately, she offered him a timid smile. “You do make me happy,” she affirmed warmly. “You don’t have to worry about that, m’lord.”

The tension eased in his features. Again, the longing-look of words left unsaid appeared in his face, and the way he wet his lips.

“… We should check up with the others, before they think something happened to us.”

“… R-Right.”

Trying not to appear as crescent-fallen as she felt, Essie held to the nobleman’s hand a little tighter.

He twined his fingers through hers, just the way that made her pulse quicken, and stepped closer to her side.

It almost left an impression like an afternoon romantic stroll down the quiet murmur of the street. She tried desperately not to think too much on it, and appease the other desperate, wanting monster clawing at her throat with each shy glance she passed towards him. She had a lot to put her mind on and chew on, anyway. It wasn’t every day someone practically told you they were devoting themselves to your happiness and safety.

#qhost story #Amon Illiad #Essatha Meduza #OTP: Essamon #softly written

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sirgwaiine · 5 years

Text

Stubborn Identities

Summary: based off of this post:

everyone thinks that iron man is an android, so when they’re pinned down and told to surrender Iron Man to the villain, despite Iron Man’s protests, they concede, and they say something about how Tony can rebuild him and download his memories, and IM just thanks them for letting him join the team, and thanks Steve for everything and goes into captivity to trade for the rest of the Avengers’ lives and Steve gets back all post mission exhausted and bloody and goes to talk to his boyfriend about it and can’t find him.

A/N: this will not quite fit under the proper timeline, as I wanted Tony to have nano-tech for this. My apologies. I hope it’s good, regardless!! Thank you @striving-artist for this beautiful prompt (and if you want me to take it down, just ask)

Pairings: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark Words: 4228 Warnings: blood

It started off a normal enough day. Just another day fighting Skrulls, same old same old. Comms were commanded to be used at all times, lest they fire at a friend or turn their backs to a foe.

What changed everything?

The battle seemed over, the Avengers on the last leg, ready to finish the job, when the Mandarin’s voice came over the city streets. At the same time, AIM jets appeared, apparently cloaked in stealth tech for the majority of the battle. Skrulls seemed to come out of the walls and windows, surrounding the band of heroes. Once again, they were overwhelmed, but this time almost hopelessly. Blasters, jet fire-power, and the Mandarin’s power put them in a position of weakness, particularly after fighting for almost 12 hours already.

Ant-Man had gone Goliath and was exhausted. Wasp was okay, having been shrunken for the majority of the battle, but she worried about Hank. Hulk was getting particularly cranky, and the threat of city destruction from Hulk-smash was no further away than that produced by the Skrulls. Captain America was tired, but the serum helped him, rejuvenating his tired bones and muscles with the new threat. His lack of armor was what worried Tony, though, and Iron Man himself was beaten and bruised, exhausted. Prior to the mission, he’d been awake for 36 straight hours. The new threats scared him.

The expected assault doesn’t come though, and it’s when Steve opens his mouth to speak up that demands are made.

“Avengers!” The Mandarin screams, although where the voice is coming from, they still aren’t sure. It seems to surround them. “A worthy band of soldiers, but you cannot win every fight. That is why today we give you a choice! Give us the Iron Man, and we will spare the city, as well as your lives. You have no hope of defeating us, the only protection you can provide will come with this surrender. Speak wisely, as I will not offer a second time.”

After he speaks, it seems as though the streets themselves are holding their breath, although Tony knows this should be an easy choice. He grounds himself as the team looks to him. Steve is the first to speak.

“I think we should do this. We’ll have Tony shut down the bot, take it offline, and they’ll get nothing. In the meantime, we regroup, get some rest, come up with a plan. I’ll apologize to Tony.” He delivers. The team nods their heads, but Janet’s lips purse.

“What if they manage to reverse engineer the bot’s technology?” She asks. Steve frowns and shrugs.

“We have to do this, Wasp. And he’s just a bot. AIM already has technology almost advanced as the Iron Man, and by the time they reverse engineer it, Tony will have something newer, bigger, and better. I can almost guarantee it.” He responds, matter-of-fact. Janet sighs and nods her head.

Inside the armor, Tony nods and the others see the suit do the same. Reasonable enough for a complex robot with its own intuitive A.I.

“Goodbye all. It was good fighting with you.” Tony says, trying for entirely emotionless. Try as he might, however, he hopes the team can’t detect the quake of fear in his voice. He’d do this a thousand times for the team, although that doesn’t mean he can’t be afraid. Tony swallows and turns the suit to face Steve.

“Goodbye, Captain.” Tony says. He wishes his final goodbye to Steve could be more than this, but Steve won’t let him do this if he knows, so it’s all Tony can say. He sends a salute toward Steve and takes off to the air again toward one of AIM’s ships. All guns are trained on him.

As the suit vanishes against the dark of the ships, the Skrulls all disappear in a flash of light. Some transporter device maybe.

The team gets back on the Quinjet, unease filling their limbs. They lost. They aren’t enough to keep Earth safe anymore.

Steve watches the sky. Something doesn’t feel right. He gets a flash of emotion, but it’s gone as soon as it hits. He’ll be home soon.

~~~

When Tony lands in the carrier, he blinks to JARVIS.

Hold, hold, blink, hold.

Blink, blink, hold.

Blink, blink.

Blink.

Hold.

Q U I E T, and the suit is silenced. No noises made from within will come out. Comms are shut off and all servers and data except those needed for basic functions are cleared as the emergency protocol he’d installed takes effect.

He follows the goons leading him inward mutely. If he’s muttering curses in the suit until they reach what seems to be the garage, well no one else can hear them.

The goons grab the ‘robot’ and place clamps over the gauntlets. Tony doesn’t test to see how easily they’ll blow, but he knows they aren’t there to stop him. They’re there to give AIM enough time to blow him to bits.

Another man walks over and walks around Tony, his eyes observant, keen, and dangerous. Tony wants to shiver in the suit. Minutes pass and he’s coming closer now, observing more closely, touching the suit. Tony’s fighting to stop the chills at having this man so close to his body.

“What the fuck?” The new man spits, stopping behind Tony. The men that brought Tony back look at him.

“Brad?” One of them speaks. Tony offers a smile, the mask hiding the movement. He’s kidnapped and the man meant to open up this “bot” is named Brad. God, how Tony wants to comment.

The only thing that keeps him quiet is fear of what happens if they find out that Iron Man is a he, not an it.

Brad grabs a screwdriver and Tony starts flinching as he comes at the nanotech, although the screwdriver finds no purchase, nowhere to cut in. He takes it toward Tony’s clavicle, his knee, his elbow, behind his ear, his heel. Nothing. Tony has to tell JARVIS to support and lock his position to stop him from moving and reacting.

Brad and his henchies take turns trying at it for an hour, but to no avail. Normally, the suit may not be so strong, but wherever the men try to break, JARVIS sends particles to the spot to reinforce it.

Tony watches them get frustrated and smiles again, this time with grim satisfaction. Soon enough, he’s sure they’ll ship it off somewhere with better equipment than the carrier, and that’s when he’ll make his escape.

That is, at least, until one of them stabs a knife into the leg of the suit out of anger and penetrates it, JARVIS unable to predict the outburst.

Tony manages to bite back his scream, but it doesn’t matter. They take the knife out and blood gushes down the suit and onto the floor, pooling around his foot. All three men stare only momentarily, and then Brad approaches and puts his fingers to Tony’s leg. He smells them.

“What is it, boss?” One of the other men ask. “Oil?”

A terrifying smile reaches Brad’s lips and this time, Tony lets his shiver run through his body.

“No. Blood.”

~~~

Steve’s whole leg is bouncing underneath the table throughout the entire debriefing, something biting at him, although he can’t tell what. Usually Tony is at the briefing after he checks out the Iron Man in one of the garages on the Helicarrier, but he isn’t here this time. Usually he approaches Steve with a clap on the back. He didn’t.

Halfway through, he stops speaking and launches up. Everyone jumps from whatever reverie they had been in.

“I’m sorry, Jan, please finish the briefing. I need to inform Stark of the bot he lost.” Steve commands, turning to leave the room. He wonders if maybe JARVIS told Tony and Tony’s mad at him. They’ll get in a little spat, but Tony won’t mean a word he says and neither will Steve, and it’ll end in a movie night in which Tony falls asleep on the couch and Steve’s carries him to bed. He’ll linger for a moment, wanting to stay, but think better of it and climb the stairs to his own floor and room. Tony will have the next bot underway by the time Steve gets back from his run.

His pace is brisk as he walks to the garage area and gets his bike, climbing on and racing home.

He’s even more confused when he gets to the Tower and Tony isn’t waiting for him in the common area. He checks the workshop, the gym, the kitchen, even Tony’s bedroom. Every room leads to greater and greater agitation until he can’t say he feels much of anything beside fear and he doesn’t know why.

“JARVIS, where’s Tony?” He shouts to the ceiling, urgency in his voice. Normally it feels odd speaking to nothing, but right now all he can think of is how off everything else is.

“Ms. Potts may be better suited to answer your question.”

Steve takes out his phone dials up her number. She answers before the second ring, and Steve can’t help but thank God that Pepper’s so prompt.

“Hey, Steve, what’s up?” She asks. Her voice is pleasant, and Steve tries to use her tone to calm himself, but he can’t shake this feeling.

“Hey Pepper, do you know where Tony is?” Steve requests. The edge is still there in his voice.

“Uhm, did he not come to the briefing? He’s probably just in his workshop or somethi-” She begins, but Steve cuts her off. He almost feels bad about it.

“I checked the workshop and the gym and anywhere he might possibly be. I knocked on every Tower bathroom, even, and I can’t find him. I don’t know if he already knows about Iron Man and he’s angry, but I just need to explain.”

And just like that, Pepper’s entire demeanor changes.

“What happened to Iron Man?” She rushes, and Steve has to take a deep breath because if Pepper is this reactive about Iron Man, then he can’t imagine how Tony will react.

“I’m so sorry, Ms. Potts, but it was just the Skrulls, and then more came and so did the Mandarin and AIM and we were so out-numbered and there was no way we could win-” the elevator opened with a ding. The team steps out into the common area. “-and they wanted the Iron Man bot, so we gave him up. I figured Tony could remove any information that the Iron Man carried remotely. I’m sorry.” Steve confesses. There’s no sound on the other end. Despite the four new bodies in the room, there’s no noise on his end either.

Steve can’t handle the silence right now.

“Steve?” She says. Is her voice shaking? is what Steve thinks.

“Yes?” is what he answers instead.

“Get the team to SHIELD, James will have a pilot ready with the Quinjet when you get there. I will meet you on the Quinjet. You all have 10 minutes to get there, I suggest you find someway to do that.” She spits, and then she’s off the line. Steve is frozen for a minute, but he hears a little voice in his head counting down.

“Steve?” Bruce calls. That’s all it takes for him to run into action.

“Guys, Quinjet in 10.” Steve says, already sprinting to the elevator. He’s past them all by the time they turn around and step back in, and he’s slamming his finger on the button to go down. If the elevator goes faster than normal, Steve’s grateful.

Steve hops on his bike and Jan gets small enough to join him. Bruce panics minutely about it, but he and Hank share a bike as well and they zip through the streets of New York. If they ride the sidewalks a little, Steve’s not concerned about it.

Pepper wasn’t lying, and soon enough, Rhodes is running them to the Quinjet, his pilot Jason and Pepper both onboard already. Steve tries to ask what’s going on, but Rhodey won’t explain. Instead: “If you can contact Thor, do it now.”

Steve calls to Heimdall (”That’s my direct line,” Thor had said) as they run. Thor is at the Quinjet when they get there.

“What’s going on?” Thor asks Steve, but he doesn’t get to answer.

“Get in the goddamn plane and I’ll tell you.” Pepper fires, and Steve swears he’s never seen Thor shrink so much from a mere mortal before.

As soon as they’re all in, the plane lifts off, and Steve has to grab Banner to keep him from falling out.

“What’s going on?!” Hank shouts. Pepper and Rhodes look at each other and Steve can tell between the warring looks in their eyes that no one wants to speak, but Steve can’t wait anymore.

“Somebody say something, I’m begging you!”

Pepper looks at Steve, her eyes cautionary and apologizing as she takes a deep breath.

“Tony is Iron Man.” She mutters. It’s quiet, and nobody speaks after she says it. Except for Steve.

“What? I-We know, he makes the suits, they’re hisA.I. Are they really that important to him that we risk a city on them?” Steve demands. His eyes are racing back and forth between Pepper and the colonel.

“Steve-” Rhodey begins, but Pepper stops him with a hand and walks up to the blond.

“Steve, the Iron Man is a suit. An armor. Tony is Iron Man. You gave Tony up to AIM.” And Steve can hear her speaking, but he’s squeezing his eyes shut and his hands are gripping the shield so hard that he can feel its edge cutting into his palm.

“No, he gave himself up-”

“Yes, to protect you. To protect us, Cap.” Jan squeaks.

Steve feels his eyes getting wet and, for some reason, it spurs a chuckle out of him and a smile that’s half maniacal and half furious.

“Well, I guess I’ll just have to show him I don’t need protecting.” Steve quips.

“Steve, if you get yourself killed for him, Tony won’t be able to handle it!” Rhodes snaps, but Steve just turns on him.

“Well too bad he didn’t give me the same consideration!” Steve barks back. He and Rhodes stare at each other for a moment. Steve turns before he can say anything he regrets. Both ”I’ll kill anyone who gets in my way” and “Doesn’t that bastard know I’m in love with him?” fall into that category.

The rest of the ride is silent. Everyone gathers themselves and their gear as they follow the miniscule crumb trail to Tony’s location.

~~~

“Thor, wipe out as many as you can. Bruce, get green and start smashing. Jan, if it doesn’t kill you, I want you and Hank bringing this place to the ground. Rhodey, you’re with me. Jason, I want you as air support, but keep her in the air, and keep her safe.” Steve finishes, nodding to Pepper. He doesn’t wait for responses, he just turns and runs toward the bunker in front of them.

There’s only one building and it isn’t enormous, so this clearly isn’t where they keep the big guns or the aircraft. Just where the engineers do their work.

They came in under stealth tech on the plane, and Steve wants to get in and out with as few people knowing as possible. Does that mean he’ll waste time sneaking around? No. By the time Rhodes catches up with Steve, there’s a trail of bodies lining the hallways. With one gauntleted hand, Rhodey slams Steve against a wall. Steve rolls his eyes, and looking back, he’ll realize he just looked like a petulant child, but for now, his voice comes out as a hiss.

“They’re just unconscious, and we have to go.”

“No, Steve, listen. You need to be smart. I don’t know if you reciprocate any feelings or not. Based on this reaction, probably, but even if you don’t, you need to hear this: Tony loves you. He is head over heels in love with you. Now, maybe that matters to you, maybe it doesn’t, but with you is the happiest I’ve seen him in a long time, and I’m not going to let you fuck that up.

“He may be your teammate, your friend, your love, whatever, but I don’t give a fuck. I am his best friend. He is my brother. So don’t die, or I’ll bring you back so I can kill you myself. You got that?” Rhodey demands. Steve takes a deep breath and nods, and Rhodey releases him from the wall.

“Alright,” Rhodey continues, “now if you’d waited a second, I’ve got an energy signature that can only belong to the suit. I’ll fly you to it and we’ll get Tony back to the jet.”

Steve nods his head and follows Rhodes back out the way they came.

Getting Tony goes easily enough. He’s being held in a room with barred windows, and Rhodey’s got Tony in his arms and out the window before Steve’s even done with the baddies that were supposed to be guarding Tony.

Steve makes his way back to the jet, Jan and Hank stomping overhead, Hulk smashing around him, and Thor electrocuting anyone not hit by the others. Steve runs through anyone and everything to get back to Tony.

“Everyone on the jet now, we gotta go.” Steve hears over the comms.

Hank picks him up, takes two giant steps, drops him beside the jet, and shrinks. It isn’t long before the rest of the team is back as well. Again, as soon as they scramble on the jet, Jason takes off.

Immediately, Steve looks around for the Iron Man—Tony—but when he sees him in a corner, surrounded by a mumbling Pepper and Rhodey, he sits down and takes a breath.

It seems like forever until they land, but Pepper and Rhodes are stationed by Tony’s side the entire time. When they start to land, Steve stands and crosses the jet.

“I’ll carry him.” He murmurs as he approaches.

The two turn to look at him, and he’s not sure if they’re doing it on purpose, but he can’t see Tony past them. Finally, Pepper nods as they touch down and the door to the jet lifts, and she and Rhodes part.

Steve can’t move at first, the blood and the bruises that swell up Tony’s arms and calves and cheeks stopping him dead in his tracks. It’s only when Pepper delivers a quiet “He needs you right now, Steve” that he can force himself to bend and pick the man up as gingerly as possible, a hand behind the knees and a hand under his arms. He rests the man’s head against his chest and starts running toward medical, each step still careful as can be.

“I need a doctor!” He shouts once he’s in the medical bay. Immediately a nurse runs off and grabs a bed, carting it back to him. Another runs further down the hall through some doors and reemerges with a doctor.

Soon enough they’re carting him away and Steve wants to follow, but he’s been through medical enough times. He stands there helpless.

When the others reach him, nothing’s moved aside from the tears flowing down his cheeks.

~~~

Their time in the waiting room goes a little differently. Steve’s pacing, despite his many attempts to just sit himself down.

“Why wouldn’t he tell us? Please Tony, I swear, please be okay-” Steve is saying, and Rhodey cuts him off.

“Steve, he’ll be okay. Otherwise how am I gonna kill him myself?” He jokes, but it’s not all there.

Suddenly, a nurse walks through the door to the waiting room. They’re the only ones in there, and she smiles at them all.

“You can see him now.” She tells them, and Steve’s glad he’s been pacing, because now he can just run through the door while everyone else stands.

He can hear beeping and follows the noise to get to Tony, rushing to stand by the far side of his bed. He grabs a pale hand with a red tube leading through it, and brown eyes open and turn towards him.

“How badly am I in for it?” Tony asks, and Steve can’t help but breathe a sigh of relief and smile in utter fondness.

“The only reason you’re still alive is because Rhodey wants to kill you himself.” Steve replies. Yelling is for later. Right now, he can only bask in the light that still somehow seems to radiate off of this broken boy. Just then everyone else walks in, Rhodes in the lead.

“Honeybear!”

“Don’t you Honeybear me.” Rhodes says sharply, but it only lasts for a second before he just comes to stand beside the bed across Steve, relief clear on his face.

“You’re an idiot. You know that, Tones?” Rhodey asserts.

“Only cause you tell me so much.” Tony responds, smile bright before he winces, and Steve winces like he’s been hit. Rhodey looks up at him and then turns to everyone else.

“Alright, I’ve decided I’m not gonna kill him. Let’s let Captain America decide on punishment.” He calls, and everyone else just nods. One by one, they approach him to say hello, touch him, and say some sort of I love you.

Bruce makes some sciencey inside comment only the two of them understand. Hank says if Tony doesn’t give him the secret to nanotech he’ll hate him forever. Jan gives him a kiss on the forehead. Thor lets out a muttered “I truly will never understand you, Stark,” but says it with the widest smile in the world. Pepper’s lips linger on Tony’s forehead for a long moment before she brushes his hair back with utmost care. Rhodey flicks Tony’s ear, and then they’re all gone.

It’s silent for a moment as Steve reaches up to cup Tony’s cheek, gentle over the scrapes and resting his hand to avoid Tony’s bruised eye. Despite the cuts and bruises, Tony turns his head into Steve’s palm, and Steve feels his whole body heat at the movement, a pull in the pit of his stomach at the innocence and trust in that move.

Then Tony speaks.

“So, what am I in for, soldier?” Tony asks, big brown eyes looking up at him through thick lashes. Steve swallows.

“Well, Iron Man is grounded, that’s for su-”

Tony rips his head away from Steve’s palm, flinching as he does it, to look directly into Steve’s eyes. Steve moves his hands to steady him, but then Tony spits out a “Hell, no!” and Steve stops. His hands drop.

“What do you mean, ‘no’? You’re a civilian! You were almost killed, Tony!” Steve explains, and, God, he’s trying for gentle, for patience, but he knows Tony’s going to be stubborn about this and so his frustration comes out anyway.

“I mean no. You can try, but I’ll be out there in a suit no matter where the fight is. You forget who builds the tech, who can access any information they need. That person was me, and I’m not staying out of battles just because you know who I am now. I have to do this, Steve.” Tony insists, but Steve’s already shaking his head.

“No, Tony, I cannot have you getting hurt. I can’t let you get hurt and knowing it’s you out there now, I won’t be able to let you get in harm’s way, I can’t!” His voice rises at the end, and he feels his face going red, but Tony’s already fighting back.

“No, Steve, I can’t let you go out to battle alone! I can’t watch you leave and know that I won’t be at your back!”

“Why can’t you just stay down for once? You aren’t the only one who’s capable-”

“Because goddamnit Steve, I’m in fucking love with you, alright?! And my life, it’s whatever, but your life is everything, and I have to protect you, Steve!” Tony yells, and Steve can feel his mouth gaping, jaw flapping up and down like a fish out of water. He watches Tony shrink, his voice barely audible when he speaks next.

“I can’t lose you.” And now Tony’s looking down at his hands as they fidget and he’s leaning back against the bed, exhausted, and how did Steve not see those bags under his eyes before? Steve sighs.

“Tony, I can’t lose you either.” He moves his hands to encase Tony’s fidgeting ones, leading Tony to look into his eyes again.

“Tony, I love you too.” He sees Tony about to protest and speaks again.

“Tony, I am in love with you.” He assures, squeezing Tony’s hand. Tony just looks at him, and Steve swears somehow his eyes have gotten wider.

~~~

When everyone else walks in the room, Steve’s asleep in a chair, Tony asleep in the bed.

Somehow, their hands remain intertwined between them.

#txt #my writing #stubborn identities #stevetony #stony #steve rogers #tony stark #bleeding little blue boy #writing #this is not my best

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letstalksymphogear · 5 years

Text

Symphogear, EP.7 (Cont.)

“i have not now, nor ever, liked this creepy ass church elevator.”

“kanade please get out of my head, just because im hungry doesnt mean you have to tell me every time i am”

Hibiki finishes getting a full body X-ray. She’s fine.

“that anime protagonist immunity is really kicking in well!”

“by the way, your wife is here! and she’s looking mighty miffed., as opposed to me, mighty milfed.”

“you dont strike me as a mother figure but ill play along for now”

“i just hope miku’s okay...”

“oh, she’ll be fine! see, i’ve seen these kinds of plots before. big secret revealed, another lover is shown, the victim watches as they’re thoroughly cheated on, and they get to lik-”

“please stop breathing”

Genjuro’s wasting away again in Margaritaville. Looking for some daughter to adopt. SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT THERE’S A, WOOOOMAAAAAN TO BLAAAAAAAAAAME, BUT HE KNOWS

XYLOPHONE RIFF

THAT’S IT’S ALL HIS FAULT

XYLOPHONE RIFF

“i hate it when he gets like this. jimmy buffets not a good look for him.”

“for once you and i agree. seeing the commander sulk like this like a middle aged perma-tourist is genuinely miserable”

“hey homies! im back and i brought some bitches! oh, jesus, why does this place smell like mistakes in miami?”

“its me. im sorry. every time i feel like i failed as a dad, my anti-dad energies manifest. imagine every midlife crisis rolled up into a single ball, smacked into the face for eternity. thats the depth of my pain for failing this girl.”

In a moment of positivity, the friendship between Tsubasa and Hibiki is cemented.

> Tsubasa has joined the party.

“FRIENDSHIP!”

“fweindship.”

“uuuuhhhhh... dadship? yeah thats close enough.”

“WE’RE ALL GOOD FRIENDS!”

“ya tiddies are ringing again, better go get it”

Ryoko also points out that Hibiki’s relic is fusing with herself at an alarming rate. This is important to keep in mind.

Meanwhile, at night.

Miku is posing in the motherly “you done fucked up, where have you been young lady” position. A cold scolding is coming.

“.........................hey miku......”

“you can come in. are you worried im gonna bite? you suplexed a car. that shouldn’t be an issue anymore.”

“miku, i.... i wanted to tell you.... but.... the plot wouldn’t let me, miku....”

“should’ve told the plot to fuck off anyway. now you’re gonna live with that. you’re sleeping... on the bottom bunk.”

“b.... b..... b...... b.... b...... bottom bunk...?”

They slept separately that night. God, this is so stupid. All of this is so goddamned stupid. “I’m so mad at you even though you saved my life.” This is just so. AUGH. THIS IS DUMB. KANEKO WRITE BETTER ANGST THAT MAKES SENSE THAT ISN’T THIS.

Meanwhile, far away from this garbage...

Chris, having been evicted from Fine’s McMansion, wanders the streets of mumblemumble aimlessly. Don’t be fooled by her new fancy dress. Basically, she’s a combat-competent hobo.

“no food. no home. no victories. this sucks. whyd you do it, fine? we coulda been great together. but no. ya fired me. now i look like im prancing the red light district with a highly advanced superweapon around my neck.”

“no... hibiki’s to blame. ever since that genderbent little mac showed up to fight me, it’s been all downhill. fine thought me a laughstock because i couldnt take out her oversized boxing gloves, and now she beat me while i had nehushtan. god... i wish i never met that damn hamster faced chubby cheeked nerd.”

“wait, whats that crying”

Chris spies two kids talking to each other, one of them crying. Chris immediately makes an assumption, believing the big bro is bullying his sis.

“hey! stop nicking her lunch money, twerp”

Chris currently is a firm believer of corporeal punishment.

But the sister deflects the blow. Chris can’t even defeat children right now. Truly, this is a record low for her. You know you blew it when even kids are schooling you on basic morality. She then tells the little girl to stop crying, ironically mirroring her brother.

The infamous double T-Pose maneuver. Chris, you might as well get a shovel and start digging your own grave.

“i keep doing bad things badly, and now im doing good things badly... when fine said i was bad... did she just mean im not talented?”

Chris, finally, does a good thing and helps these kids find their parents.

“yeah. hibiki saved a kid when she got her gear. guess what? bam! im saving two! that’s fifty percent more kid per kid saved. take that, weirdo.”

The kids call her out on Chris singing unconsciously, and Chris gets flustered over it. Dawwwwww.

Chris manages to get them to safety to their Dad...

...while brutally lying about it, making Chris look like a predator. There’s a very crushing irony at play here, given who Chris used to serve.

“ugggggggggggggggghhhhhh hes not even gonna payyyyy meeeeeee why the fuck did i dooooo thiiiiiiissssss”

“hey, you know. you kids have a really nice relationship with one another. care to give me tips on how to be an empathetic human being capable of making friends?”

“maybe we’re born with it”

“maybe its maybeline”

“maybeline...”

Meanwhile...

A cold wind blows through Lydian Apartment 69-L. (I don’t actually know if that’s their room number, I just made it up.)

“jesus take the wheel, because i’m jumping out the passenger seat to save this current wreck of a relationship”

“miku please i saved your life, doesnt that count for anything”

“you already killed me the moment you lied. also im taking the bottom bunk so i dont have to see your face coming down the ladder.”

“miku you cant hide in this depression den forever. i know i hurt you and im sorry for it, but please understand i literally couldnt do it. you saw there were punches and violence and stuff... i didnt want you tied to that...”

“what was that? i cant hear your apologies over my incredibly loud snoring. SNOOOOOOORE. SNOOOOOOOORE. SNOOO- fuck, i just swallowed my spit, fuck”

“i hope this cocoon of displeasure you’ve made for yourself lets you erupt into a butterfly of acceptance so i can fly with you again.”

“......thats not fair. you cant say those beautiful metaphors and get away with it. let me be mad... sniff... let me be mad...”

Sadness wafts in the den of lies Hibiki has been forced into.

No music plays. There is only heartbreak, and woe.

In the midst of this pain...

Ryoko loredumps about how the Symphogears work and are immune to the noise on her blog, ‘hornyonmainforscience.org’, her hybrid science journal slash kink zone. It’s mostly a recap with some pretty good soft techno beats in it.

“i made a custom brew of red bull, five hour energy drink, coffee, and cream. i call it gamer girl piss.”

“damn. that’s some good piss.”

She muses about how Hibiki has managed to break the limitations of her Symphogear, making her a totally unique specimen. Wait, where have we heard this before...?

Hey... Ryoko... let’s just... cool it a bit with the Hibiki pictures... come on...

Ryoko touches upon the Custodians and the Curse of Babel. We ain’t touching that shit until later, because that’s another shitfuck box of crazy just ready to jump us in a dark alleyway to rob us of our wits.

Back to Lydian:

“miku whats the answer to the first three multiple choice questions”

“B. A. D.”

“oh, thanks. huh, BAD.”

“yeah. you are.”

“mmm. taste likes dissapointment. just like my life.”

“hey table for two haha get it cause there’s two chairs and miku for the love of god, please, forgive me”

“ive surgically removed my eyes and drew eyelashes over them with sharpie so i dont have to see your bird bangs.”

“thats very rude to both me and my hair. also, wig.”

Even Hibiki’s meal is judging her. Mainly for not eating it. Fucking look at this. God, that looks amazing. Fuck, why did I write this while I was hungry.

“miku you cant do this forever. i might die and youll end up crying on my tombstone going ‘oh god, why, oh god’, and really, i cant live with myself if that happens. mainly because id already be dead by then”

The Anime Janai crew show up to break some icebergs with a goddamn sledgehammer. As the self-aware Gods of this realm, they got very tired of this poor display of angst, and have decided to directly intervene.

Nevermind. They came for her kneecaps, and they most certainly got them.

PLEASE. I’M BEGGING YOU. END THIS GARBAGE PLOT THREAD.

“look. imma lay down the facts. yall are gay. yall are in love. yall are angry for the wrong reasons. its nobody’s fault here but the writer. so please kiss and make up. pretty please.”

“kaneko... you fool... we all know what the original sin is. its your hack writing making this stupidity in the first place. let the pencil go, asshole!”

They bring up the fact that Hibiki isn’t doing her work and wonder if she has a job on the side, which isn’t allowed by the school. Miku gets annoyed and bails, with Hibiki running after her. Unfortunately, Miku runs faster...

“oh god miku not the rooftop whatever you’re thinking just dont do it! please!”

“no. i came here to angst, since this is the Maximum Angst Zone.”

“i..... okay! okay, that’s fair! rooftops are the perfect place to look sad while getting proper air ventilation, thats fine”

It really would have been better played if it was played off that she felt hurt not because of the lie, but because she felt like she could have helped her better having known the truth, and it being a self-loathing sort of scenario for not being there better for her and not fully understanding the risk at play.

But no, instead, we get this.

youtube

Absolutely obliterated. A heart ripped, shredded, and sent to the Shadow Realm.

The episode ends on that note, but has a post credit scene.

Naked. On an old timey telephone. On a computer. Wearing stockings and long gloves.

The main antagonist of the series, everybody.

She’s talking the best English possible to some random-ass American when suddenly bursting through the scene is none other than:

“I WANT WORKERS COMPENSATION YOU BITCH, BEFORE I UNIONIZE YOUR NAKED ASS”

“AND I WANT A GOOD REFERNECE FOR MY FUTURE EMPLOYER, AND ALSO A SEVERANCE PACKAGE SINCE I’M FUCKING HOMELESS”

“i paint my eyelashes with mascara made from the tar of freshly carbonated corpses manufactured through noise, what on gods green earth compels you to think id give a rats ass about you?”

“so you never cared, huh! you’re just a nasty naked hedonist trying to- trying to- what the fuck are you even trying to do?!”

“i want to live the dream every spicy little fossil like me yearns for.”

“I WANNA FUCK GOD!”

“how- what? what? how do you even- what? are you- do you want to be the pope? is that it? does the pope get to fuck god? are you- is this a larping thing? you’ve really been into larping lately! i don’t like this!”

“youve never read the old testament, have you. ass out, pussy bare, hips up and barefoot. that’s how god’s always liked it.”

“now get lost, punk. you tipped off my hand to genjuro and now you being here is going to ruin everything. if you still feel any semblance of devotion, eat one of your own bullets and call it a day.”

“it’s 2012 bitch, if the mayans dont get you, I WILL”

“what god gives, He takes away, and so do i. i built you from the ground up. your relic, which was good for jack shit on you. the nehushtan, which you failed to do anything with except zap a couple hundred people. stop wars? you’re a walking war, waged by me, for me. and your cartridge has just run out of bullets.”

“uh oh! hand’s acting up again! better bail before i send you back to smacktown where all the bitter little shittalkers like you strut around spending their lives being useless as hell.”

“ah fuck, im not dealing with no manos: the hands of fate bullshit again”

“and guess what else i got on motherfucker”

“i see the union efforts have officially been busted. understandable, have a nice day ma’am”

“LEAVE.”

“I’M GOING, I’M GOING”

#symphogear #symphogear season 1 #anime #recap #comedy

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bfire92 · 5 years

Text

Lou Ellen Blackstone - The Torch Bearer

I wrote this on my cellphone while traveling at night, so I appologize for any spelling mistakes and things that might not fit the book. There are three small chapters, inspired by three songs.

Read on FFN

Champion

I'm calling you from the future

To let you know we've made a mistake

There's a fog from the past that's giving me, giving me such a headache

-Fall Out Boy

"Will! Here!"

The voice was far away, like she was under water. It frightened her. Voices shouldn't be dimmed like that. They shouldn't come from people buried under hills of stone and bricks or people who were being swallowed by waves of water from a river.

"Over here! Help!"

Help. Help them. She had screamed it, wailing in terror and tears. Blood on her hands. Blood on her armor. Blood in her face, in her mouth. She could still taste it and smell it. Warm and metallic.

Wait, that wasn't a memory, was it?

"What happened? Who is she?"

"Fuck, Will, I just. I was just blowing up some stuff, I was thinking I'd block the street, right, and fuck. Will, fuck, I didn't know she was there. She was hiding."

Was that blood running down her face? Her head was swimming and she lost all sense of direction. Then, she felt a pressure along her whole body. The ground? A bench?

"Cecil, she is not one of ours."

"Sure she is! She's human, ain't she. Didn't you take some hypocrite oath? Help everyone, or some shit like that."

There had been skeletons. She had litterally seen the dead walk amongst them. She'd even seen one of them attack a kid, some son of Nike who would just never give up or back down. Too young, they had told him. His sisters had commanded him to go home. Al had even talked to Luke. But he just seemed to find his way back every time. She'd seen him fall to the ground after being smashed in the head. She'd seen him lie still and small on the asphalt. Then some monster had thrown itself towards the body. And she had screamed, because that didn't make sense. That didn't make sense at all. Weren't they on the same side?

"You're right. Of course you're right."

"Damn right I am!"

"Help me cut off her armor. Her head, she'll need stitches."

Her brother, she'd hear him call for her under the piles of a fallen buildning. He'd screamed for several minutes while they dug. And then he'd gone quiet. Silent. Dead silent. One minute he was screaming her name. The next she'd know she would never hear his voice again.

From the other side, she could hear a song. A soft voice and warm hands. The voice got louder and clearer, like she was rising in the water. She wanted to sink back down. She wanted to stay there. If she reached the surface, she would have to go back out on the streets, wouldn't she?

The voice grew clearer. She was just below the surface now. She could feel pain. Pain in her head, in her side.

Good, she thought. If she was to live, at least she wanted it to be painful.

It had been a mistake. She knew that now, as she was rising from the water and the fog. But her mother had spoken to Al, and then he had promised them they would win.

With a gasp, she broke the surface of whatever water she had been drowning in. A rush of air filled her lungs, making her back hurt like she had breathed in cold winter air. But the air here wasn't cold and crisp. It was warm and clammy, carrying the smell of blood and gods knew what else.

"Keep her still. I need to clean and stitch up that headwound." She recognized the voice, calm and tired. The voice of the song that had lured her to the surface.

"What, without anestetics or anything? Fuck, Will, that's cold, man.

This one was different. It was sharp and demanding. She'd listened to it for a long time. It had carried her when she was drowning. Dragged her through the currents. Hadn't she planned to kill it? She couldn't remember why.

"We are running low on supplies. There are worse injuries." A hand touched her cheek. "Hey, can you hear me? Will you try to look at me?"

She opened her eyes, but the world went spinning. All she could see was blue and blond and orange. She groaned.

"I need to clean your wound. You have some debrils in it. It might hurt, but you can take it, can't you? You're a proper champion, right?"

She managed a small nod, but even that made her stomach twist.

"Good. Here we go. Cecil, make sure she lies still."

"Doctor's orders, girl." There was a nervous laughter. Then someone leaned over her, elbows holding her arms pinned against her sides, a chest keeping her from moving her upper body, and hands against either side of her head. It felt suffocating, and parts of her wanted to fight him off, but some other part knew what was going on and teld her to hold still.

She could feel the tweezers poke around in the flesh along the side of her head, just above her ear. She could straight up hear them scratch against her head and even feel things being pulled out. Tears ran down her face and she couldn't help her legs from twitching and kicking. Everything burned every time alcohol flowed over the wound, and she grit her teeth. Still, she knew, this wasn't really painful. This was nothing against being crushed under gravel or drowned in the river or hit in the head and ripped apart.

When the voice was done with the needle, the pressure over her chest let her go, and hands started running over her body.

"She has a lot of fractures. A broken finger, broken ribs. No internal bleeding."

"I think she god hit in the head by something from the explosion. But there was so much blood, I thought... You know, she wasn't even moving."

"Headinjuries bleed a lot. I am more worried about the concussion. She has to stay still. We will keep an eye on her. Perhaps..."

"Tie her up?"

Silence.

"Yeah. You good with knots?"

"Knots, locks, same thing, really. I will make sure she stays in place."

"Good. Hey?" A warm hand on cheek again. "Are you with us? What's your name?"

Her head was still swimming, but she dared open her eyes. Two boys were sitting on the floor by her side. Both were grimy and tired. Their clothes had spots of dried and fresh blood. Her blood? One wore an armor in scratched up bronze.

They had asked her a question. She gave it some thought. Not because she worried about the consequenses of telling them anything, but because the information had to be collected from the depths of the waters she had just surfaced from.

"Lou," she whispered. Her voice was hoarce and unfamiliar, a broken voice of someone much older than herself. "Lou Ellen Blackstone."

Kids In The Dark

Here we are at the top of the hill

A hill that's quietly crumbling

Been a while since you dressed for the kill

The kill that sent me tumbling

Looking up, I see a falling star

And watch its fire burn into the floor

And I am left standing on the edge

Wondering why we fall so hard, why we fall so hard

-All Time Low

Lou Ellen lifted the last of the bags out of the van and handed it to one of her younger brothers. He whinced as he grabbed it, but hoisted it onto his back.

"Are you sure you don't want me to carry it for you? Your arm hasn't healed yet."

But he shook his head and mumbled something under his breath before he shuffled off.

She watched him warily as he joined the others, before she picked up her own small shoulder bag and walked around the van.

Alabaster was leaning against the hood, waiting for her with his arms crossed and a frown on his face.

"Theo should let his arm rest," he said and nodded towards their brother. "Make sure someone from the Apollo cabin has a look at it, would you?"

"I know just the guy," Lou Ellen said. Alabaster huffed, but didn't say anything. They both knew that if they picked up that discussion again, they would end up arguing, and Lou Ellen would prefer to avoid that for once.

There had been too many harsh words the past month, ever since Manhattan. Ever since she was wounded, and Cecil found her and took her to their makeshift infermary. Ever since they lost and she voted for a truce. Ever since she was chosen to represent the children of Hecate when Alabaster was deamed "too influental, too corrupted".

Ever since they realized they would never come to an agreement. And now, there was no time left to do any more attempts. They would just have to agree to disagree.

Her throat tightened.

"You'll IM us, right?" she asked. "Keep us updated on how you are doing?"

Alabaster glared at his shoes.

"You know I can't."

"We could write?"

"Lou..."

"Just an adress, so I can visit?"

"Stop!"

Even the other kids stopped talking and looked up. One reassuring nod from Alabaster, and they all turned their attention back to their quiet conversation. It made her sigh.

"They will never trust me like they trust you," Lou Ellen whispered, and regretted it just as she said it. It was a thought that had kept her awake for weeks, but speaking it out loud made it so much more true. As a child of Hecate, she was very aware of the power words held.

"Give them time," Alabaster said softly, without any sign of malice. "You were second in command, everyone knows you are a great leader. They are just worried about what awaits them at camp. Most of them have never even been here, they were left alone in the dark to fend for themselves."

The phracing made Lou Ellen frown.

"Al?"

"You have spark, Lou. That is why you are a leader. You light up that same spark in others." He stood and tapped his thighs. "I actually have something for you. Hold on."

He opened the door on the driver's side and Lou Ellen could hear him search for something in his backpack. When he came back around, he was holding an unlit torch.

"I know you love puns, Lou. So..." Alabaster coughed, just loud enough to get their siblings attention.

"Lou Ellen, I am handing over the torch to you."

She wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry as Alabaster took her hand in his and placed it around the wood. "I trust you. I trust you will look after our brothers and sisters. And..." he stared at her, his green eyes serious and steely, "I trust you will honor those we have lost."

She made sure not to blink as she nodded. "I will."

Finally, Alabaster looked away. He made an honorable attempt to smile as he held out his arms towards the others.

"One last hug before I am off, guys?"

The way he said it made it sound like he was just off on holiday, but it didn't fool anyone. Lou Ellen stepped back and watched as every single one of her siblings hugged him and then tried to dry away the tears from their cheeks. Alabaster whispered friendly messages and made sure every rib got properly fractured. When everyone else had said their goodbyes, Lou Ellen threw her arms around him and tried to achieve some kind of closure by hugging the last of her feelings out of her body. He whispered one last command to her, too low for anyone else to hear.

"Do not forget anyone, got it? Dead or alive."

Then he gently pushed her away, and without making eyecontact with anyone, he went straight for the van.

They watched as it disapeared in the dark. When the fainth sound of the engine got swallowed by the wind in the trees, Lou Ellen drew a couple of deep breaths. Her throat was still tight and her eyes stung, but her cheeks were dry. Once she spoke, she was content to hear that her voice was steady and light.

"Okay then. Off we go."

She spoke an incantation and the torch lit up with a bright, orange flame.

Her siblings picked up their bags and backpacks. Two of them kept their arms around each other and sniffed. Then they followed as she led the way down the hill.

Mineshaft

The list of things I used to be is longer than the list of things I am

Ex-lover, ex-friend

Ex-communicated atheist and an ex-patriot

Living in the heartland

Living on the small chance

Luck would save the last dance

-Dessa

There were no clouds to hide the stars, but the thin cresent moon didn't give her much light. It didn't matter, though. The torch in her hand burned as bightly as it had that night she had lead her siblings to camp a year and a half ago. It felt right to light it up again tonight. As if she was leading more brothers and sisters home. It gave her a flash of deja-vu, a feeling that she should know what was to happen next.

Lou Ellen had assumed the campfire would be cold coal and stubborn everlasting embers, but it burned as strong and warm as it had when they had left it earlier that night. Her own torch suddenly seemed small next to it, and with just a flick of her hand and a commanding word, it went out.

The fire invited her forward and reminded her of a home she had once had, but lost, and of people who should have been here with her, but who too had been lost.

People she thought about every day, but it wasn't until tonight that she dared ask about them. She was afraid of what answers she might get. With the Grove of Dodona close by, asking questions didn't feel too safe, even with the chimes she knew played an improvised melody of prophecies. It had basically kidnapped Cecil earlier this year, and ever since, she had hosted what she believed was a healthy scepticism towards it.

But she had come to discover other ways to ask. She felt ready now, with Mirandas words still echoing in her head and beconing her forward.

Lou Ellen reached out her hand over the hot flames. It stang, but then words emerged on the back of her hand, written in glowing cursive of embers. The burning sensation stopped, and she lowered her hand further before closing her eyes. She started chanting a long verse in ancient Greek. A command and a plea, for her mother Hecate, the carrier of the torches. For Hestia, who tended the flame sometimes used as a funeral pyre. For Hades, who kept the souls who had lived for a moment and stayed dead for eternity.

She could feel the currents of the mist around her, curiously attracted to the strong magic. Her hands felt prickly and heavy with it. Time became as flowing and fleeting as water and mist. Had she finished her verse and started all over again? Or had she just begun? In her chest, she felt a tug. A summoning. Like pulling on a rope that dissapeared into the darkness of a well, waiting to see the dim outline of the bucket in the depths.

A noise behind her made her jump and she broke off her chanting. She turned, the magic she had summoned still stirring in her hands and chest.

At first, she thought the intruder was a stranger. The mist tightened around her, shaping her apperance to make her look more terryfying - tall, fit, strong, and with a glow in her eyes that once had made enemies cringe as she stared them down.

Then, he spoke.

"Nice trick, Lou, but you do not fool me. Those pink sweatpants are not exactly frightening. Your behind litterally says CUTIE."

"Nico?" Even to her own ears, her voice was unfamiliar and deep, a husky growl. She allowed the mist to drift away from her like cold waves.

It was no surprise that she hadn't recognized him. Underneath the usual black bomber jacket, he wore an over-sized orange tee and a pair of grey plated pyjamas pants. The back of his hair stuck out in an odd angle, as if he had gone to bed with wet hair and forgot to brush it. In the dim and flickering light, he looked like a bad charicature of himself. Almost a perfect replica, but slightly off.

In an attempt to regain controll of the situation, she put on her best smirk, the one that would be worthy of a child of Hermes.

"You are the one to talk. Are you testing out a new look? I must say, it does not suit you."

"Very funny," he huffed. "Your spell woke me up."

That took her off guard.

"It... did?" Then he knew what she had attempted?

He shrugged and walked up to her to stand by the fire.

"What did you expect? You wanted information about the dead, didn't you? Well, here I am."

When she didn't react, he rubbed his eyes, before explaining with a softer voice.

"You asked for a way to find out what happened to the souls of the dead demigods who fought under Kronos. I suppose it worked. It woke me up and pulled me here. You can talk to me."

It wasn't that she hadn't considered it. Ever since Nico had returned last summer, the question had simmered in the surface of her mind every time he was around. It was something about his aura that made memories of her dead siblings more vivid. If she sat next to him by the campfire before bedtime, she would dream of them. Usually, she would dream of things that made her happy. She would remember their smiles. The little quirks and ticks. Whole conversations they once had.

Sometimes, though, she would have nightmares. A distant cry for help deep down under gravel and bricks. The weight of a sister wrapped in a shawl, whom she had carried to the funeral pyre last summer. And worse, so much worse, screams from down below the earth, beyond her reach.

Maybe she was a masochist, but she often tried to stay close to Nico before bed. There were so many she hadn't been able to save. The least she could do was to dream about them and keep their memory alive.

Lou Ellen stared into the flames.

"Miranda said some things today. It made me think," she said, feeling she had to explain why she was here only now. "Things got a bit... heated. She said she was sorry, she really was, but a lot of it was true. Me, my brothers and sisters, we did fight on the losing side. We fought you. We fought to kill."

She looked at him from the corner of her eye. In contrast to the dancing light of the flames, were shaddows that lingered and clinged to him wherever they could find refuge. It made his face seem hollow, and reminded her of the skull shaped helmet he had worn when she first saw him. When he was just another nameless demigod to attack and preferably wound.

"I would have killed you, given the chance. If i couldn't wound you, I would rather see you dead than alive."

Nico nodded.

"Likewise."

"What would Hades do to me, if I had slaughtered his only child. Even if it was to stop you from killing one of my friends or siblings." It wasn't a question, and they both knew. Instead, they watched the flames flicker and embers rise from the fire.

Right here, a year ago, she had seen the remaints of her sister been devoured by warm fire. Had she been redeamed? Lou Ellen remembered how she had cried every night for a month after Manhattan, because she had killed an other demigod. After they came to camp, she had found out who he was. She had devoted so much time to find out everything about the unclaimed boy from the Hermes cabin, she began mumbeling his name in her sleep. When the Romans surrounded camp, she'd taken to scream it, until Will made Lou Ellen cook a sleeping potion that would make her sleep without dreams.

Did she ever meet him in the underworld? Had she been given the possibility to tell him how sorry she was? Had he forgiven her?

"I will see what I can do for them," Nico evetually said, his eyes still on the fire. "Spring is coming. Hades is not very... diplomatic in spring. But I will do what I can."

Her eyes stung, and she was pretty sure it wasn't from campfire smoke.

"Nico?"

"They have not gone to the fields of punishment. Their souls partly belong to Aries, as they are victims of war on the losing side. He would not want his souls to be tortured. It would make them too weak to fight. Maybe I can have them reincarnated, if Aries and Hades would allow it."

Her breath felt shaky, and she hurried to summon the mist to her. It caressed Lou Ellen's cheeks with cold touches, hiding her tears and the sound of her sobs. If Nico knew, he didn't say anything, but let her have the silence to herself.

After a couple of minutes, the tears stopped running and though her throat still felt thick and tight and her eyes still stung, she allowed the mist to drift away.

"Thank you," she whispered, her voice hoarce and raspy.

"It is the least I ca-"

She embrazed him and squeezed him tight, allowing him to take his time to relax. It took five heartbeats for him to hug her back, and she didn't let go until she had counted another seven. He didn't look directly at her, but scratched his nose awkwardly.

"You should probably try to get some sleep, Lou. I'll talk to Chiron in the morning about leaving for the Underworld for a few days."

"Yeah," she said, smiling tiredly, and turned to go. When he didn't follow, she stopped and looked back at him.

"You not coming?"

He shrugged.

"There are other friends I want to talk to now that I am here anyway. Just go ahead." Nico sat down by the fire. "See you tomorrow."

"Okay." She looked around, but there were no one else but them. But she supposed Nico knew more about presents in the darkness than she did. "I manipulated the mist to fool the harpies, but it probably won't last for more than an hour. Try not to get eaten, di Angelo." After a few steps, she stopped again and grinned at Nico. "Oh, and Nico, by the way. I totally recognize the smell of Will's deodorant on that shirt."

"Oh, shut up, Blackstone," was his only comment, but as she walked back to the cabin, she was sure she could hear Nico talk to himself by the hearthfire.

That night, Lou Ellen dreamt of her siblings, even more vividly than she had ever done before. She dreamt of joyful memories, things that had happened long ago. When she woke the next morning, the memories still lingered in her mind.

~•°•~•°•~

Champion - Fall Out Boy

Kids In The Dark - All Time Low

Mineshaft - Dessa

35 notes · View notes

lubdubsworld · 6 years

Text

Give me some sugar Daddy

Park Jimin x OC

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2/ Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 /

Chapter 6 ~ Part 1/ Chapter 6 ~ Part 2 / Chapter 7/

Chapter 8 / Chapter 9

Chapter 10

“Y/N... “ His voice was just a little more insistent and I clenched my fists. I had always known, in the back of my mind, that this day would come. And i’d always told myself, that on that day, I would look him right in the eye and tell him to go to hell.

Taking a deep breath, i pushed down all the memories of him hurting me.

No one can hurt you without your permission...no one will ever touch you without your permission ever again...

“Good evening, Ji Hwan.” I said calmly, opening the door.

He looked as devilishly handsome as i remembered , unfairly sculpted features that made him seem inhuman.

“Wow... aren’t you a sight for sore eyes... come here. Give me a hug , angel.” He held his arms open.

I gave him a look of bored disinterest.

“You’re embarrassing yourself by coming here. I don’t want anything to do with you.” i said casually.

His jaw tightened and I wondered, if it was too soon. Maybe i should wait a bit more?

“You’ve forgotten your manners angel. I’m disappointed .” He said softly and I smiled gently.

“its a good thing, then. The fact that i don’t live to please you.”

He snarled, stepping forward aggressively and holding himself back at the last moment.

“Come on angel. Its been so long... At least let me come in.” He said and i nodded, stepping away to let him in. My eyes darted to the back of my desk.

“It takes two people to make a relationship work, Y/N.... You were always lying to me. .. about the smallest things.... “ He complained, shrugging his coat off and I stared at him.

“Because when i told you the truth, you hit me.” I said bluntly and he scoffed.

“fine... I roughed you up a little once in a while. Maybe if you were a proper girlfriend, I wouldn’;t have had to. You ever thought about that?” He snapped.

The initial terror had faded and i realized that it was mostly a pavlovian response. i had been scared of him, for so long that my body automatically reacted with fear. But truly, deep down , i wasn’t actually afraid of him.

Because I knew that he was just so incredibly full of it.

And i wasn’t helpless.

I moved to stand in front of him.

“ I’m going to be honest with you. I think you’re the lowest of scum. Vermin, if I’m being specific. And i honestly would like nothing better than to rid the world of your presence. But...” I sighed deeply. “ I don’t want your blood on my hands. So leave.”

He stared at me, jaw slightly slack.

“What did you just say to me?” He stood up , towering over me and it surfaced again, that little bit of fear. He’s so much bigger...so much taller...a man... what am i doing...he can do so much damage and i’m not...

“ I said that I don’t want to hurt you...but i’ve had enough of you to last a lifetime and now...I want you to get the fuck out of my house. “ I said calmly.

He laughed obnoxiously.

“where is all this disrespect coming from? What kind of pussy-whipped guys you’ve been hanging out with angel? No one’s put you in your place in a while huh?”

i stepped closer instead of away and he seemed even more surprside.

“No... i’ve been hanging out with a real guy... and he knows how to treat me right...” I said honestly and his jaw tightened even more.

“Look at you...fuck.. You forgot I’m stronger than you huh....? bigger than you... more dangerous...”

He stepped even closer and i smothered a smile.

“Give me your best shot you fucking coward...” I whispered.

His eyes flashed with violence and he lunged for me.

It had been a long, long time but muscle memory can be an amazing thing. I bent away from him, reaching out swiftly to grab his arms, hard. I let him charge, and quickly moved sideways, causing him to lose momentum, his body swaying as he lost his balance a bit.

I quickly stuck my foot out, catching around his shin, hooking my leg and yanking back, using the force of his movement against him.

He tripped over my foot, landing with a crash to the floor, the wind knocked out of him.

Before he could regain his composure, I stepped behind him, grabbing a handful of his hair and yanking his head back hard, till he gasped, neck outstretched and throat sticking out, just the way I wanted. I pulled my hand back, bringing the side of my palm down into his throat with as much force as I could.

the sickening crunch of breaking bone and a crushed cartilage told me that I’d done it.

He choked on air, gripping his throat in disbelief, eyes wide in shock and pain and i stared at him feeling nothing but sick revulsion.

“When you left me like that on the streets...bleeding and dying... I told myself that I would never be in that position ...ever again and you know what i realized Ji Hwan?” I whispered, moving to the desk on the side of the room.

He lay flat on his back, eyes scrunched in agony and clawing at his throat.

“That i didn’t have to be to be in that position again. Know why??? Because, yes, you may be stronger than me....but would you still be stronger , with a broken neck?” I grabbed the baseball bat and pulled it out of its bag.

I’d bought it the day Ji Soo had told me about Ji Hwan coming back to Seoul.

i moved to stand over him, staring down at his handsome face. He was losing consciousness.

“And yes... you’re bigger than me... but what good is that going to do to you?, when your knees are shattered?” i whispered.

I raised the bat high before bringing it down on his knees. the sickening crunch of his kneecaps made me tear up.

“Pul-leash...” He choked out and I smiled at him.

“I begged you...to stop..that night...you remember , oppa?” I whispered, my head spinning with a sort of delirious rage.

a murderous desire to inflict as much injury as I possibly could to this monster...who had done so much irreparable damage to me.

“Y/N!!!!!!!!” The knock on the door startled me.

“open the damn door!!” Seulgi’s voice was joined by a familiar male voice and I swallowed .

It was Jimin.

I turned back to the man on the floor, not sure what to do. What was Jimin doing here?

The door crashed open before i could make a decision and Jimin stood on the threshold, wild-eyed with worry and his eyes fell on me, moving to the bat in my hand .

He stared down at Ji Hwan and his eyes went wider.

“Holy shit...baby... what... Oh my God...” He whispered, sounding stunned.

Seulgi screamed, rushing to her step brother and plopping down next to him.

“You little bitch!! What did you do to him....!! Oppa!! Ji Hwan oppa!!” She was shaking him, probably doing more damage to his broken neck, but I couldn’t care less.

I turned around to stare at Jimin slowly.

“Jimin ssi....” I said softly and he stepped closer.

“Its okay.. it’s going to be okay.. Y/n.. I’m here.. everything’s going to be okay... Alright...Just...give me that thing...” He held his hand out.

i stared down at the bat.

“Okay.” I said calmly, handing it over.

“ alright..shit...fuck...i think you‘ve done...considerable damage to this bastard...fuck... I’m going to call an ambulance. Where’s your mom? “ Jimin stared at me expectantly.

My mother. She had probably slept through the whole thing , I thought, suddenly.

My sister and i used to joke that my mom could sleep through someone getting murdered and maybe...it wasn’t an exaggeration after all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hyung..I know its the middle of the fucking night but this is fucking serious...I don’t think he’s going to make it....” Jimin was saying into the phone and I tried to relax against the leather cushions of his car. Next to me , my mother was still half asleep, staring out of the window in dazed confusion.

i should have made arrangements for mother...i’m going to go to prison for the rest of my life..who’s going to take care of mama?

“Hyung... she has no defensive wounds but the guy has a history with her. He’s injured her badly before...” Jimin said softly.

He paused a bit more and then sighed.

“okay hyung. i get it... I just don’t want her to spend even an hour in a holding cell... She’s not leaving my side tonight, alright? i just need you to make sure those charges are dropped and gone before they even appear....”

I stared at him as he hung up.

“you don’t have to do that...” I said, my voice hoarse from disuse. I hadn’t said a word in three or four hours.

Jimin sighed.

“Let’s not do this, Y/N. You killed a man tonight. this is serious stuff.” He said dryly.

I stared down at my knees.

“He’s not going to die.” i whispered. “ He’s ... he has a crushed windpipe. they can intubate him at the hospital and he’ll be okay.” I said softly.

or maybe he would have lost enough oxygen to his brain to render him alive but mentally and physically incapacitated for the rest of his life...but i’m not getting my hopes up.

“ Fuck... you did your research huh...” He said with a shake of his head. “ Wow... you look...fuck you look so fucking delicate , I never thought ... “

I flinched.

“Are you disgusted?” I said meekly.

He rounded on me, wide eyed.

“Disgusted? Are you out of your damn mind? I just... I’m trying to process this”

He shook his head, seemingly still a little dazed.

“ i thought... I mean... i thought you were getting hurt and then i saw ... I’m trying to understand. “

He laughed a little, without mirth and shook his head again.

I sighed my fingers still shaking.

“He deserved it.” i said .

Jimin hummed.

“i never , for a second, doubted that. I’m sure he deserved that and more.” He said gently. “It’s going to be okay, sweetheart. I’m going to make sure that he gets out of your life for good. this isn’t going to follow you. i’ll promise you that....”

i nodded , too tired to fight over semantics.

Besides, it was really tempting, the prospect of never having to see Im ji Hwan ever again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Another drink? You look like you could use a stiff one?” Jin said casually , holding his glass out and I shook my head.

“No.. I.. No thank you. “ I said awkwardly, feeling jarringly out of place in the living room of the dorm.

after a surprisingly short interview with the cops, Jimin had arranged for a lady to watch over my mother in our apartment, before taking me back to his dorm. he told me that I may need a lawyer and he had to talk to yoongi about something.

“Hmm... Fair enough. so, its true? you killed a guy tonight?” He laughed cheerfully.

“Hyung!! play nice...” Jimin called out sternly and Jin laughed.

“What? No judgement, babe, i know most of them deserve it.”

I smiled awkwardly.

“I’m... I did hurt him, yes.”

Jin hummed.

“Don’t worry about it. yoongi’s brother is one of the top lawyers in the whole country. He’s going to get those charges dropped within the day. And besides, Jiminie here has made it pretty clear that he’s on your side. Not a lot of idiots out there , gonna risk getting on Bangtan’s bad books.” He winked.

I nodded, glancing tentatively at Jimin. He was deep in conversation with Yoongi, who was on the phone, presumably talking to his briother. My skin itched, the proximity oddly disconcerting.

i felt high strung, maybe residual adrenaline from what had happened earlier but whatever it was, the urge to clamber on Jimin’s lap and just stay there forever was strong and over powering.

Objectively, i knew all of them were good looking. But no one affected me the way Jimin did. I stared at him now, feeling somehow worse than ever. I had never considered Jimin ever seeing this side of me. The side of me that was... nothing more than an embarassing canvas of mistakes.

I felt awful , the reminder that I had brought Jimin into something criminal, somthing ugly and disgusting and I wondered what he would think of me, if he knew about Ji Hwan and I.

I watched the clock on the mantel and somewhere between Four and five in the morning, i dozed off on the couch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up to the sound of a coffee machine.

I was still on the couch, but stretched out and with a soft blue blanket draped over me. there was something hard beneath my leg and I squirmed, realizing it was a thigh.

I scrambled back , horrified to find the thigh attached to Kim Seokjin, who was deep asleep, mouth slightly open , body draped over the arm of the couch.

“You’re up? I told hyung to stay put because i didn’t want you to wake up.” Jimin said kindly, carrying over a cup of coffee. I didn’t reply, merely thanking him quietly before takign the cup.

We drank in silence .

“So, everything is sorted. Ji Hwan is... stable and he doesn’t want to press charges. “

I nodded, not surprised.

“It would be a blow to his ego to admit he got assaulted by me.” I said bitterly.

i immediately regretted it. i had no business telling this to jimin.

“You did good. Where did you learn that?” He asked curiously and i swallowed.

“I used to baby sit for a self defense teacher , a few years ago. He ...uh...he taught me how to inflict maximum damage on a bigger opponent. I’ve been... practicing that for a long time now.” i admitted softly.

“For yesterday.”

I nodded.

“For yesterday.” i confirmed.

Jimin gave me a thoughtful stare.

“He must’ve really done a number on you.” He said thoughtfully.

I flinched.

“that’s one way to put it....” I said with a grimace.

“I understand. But Y/N... the guy’s pretty powerful... Yoongi’s hyung thinks you might be in danger....” He said worriedly and I sighed.

“It doesn’t matter. I just... I’ve always been in danger with ji Hwan... if he comes near me again, I’ll gouge his eyes out. I learned how to do that too.” I said calmly and Jimin’s eyes went wide.

“I... okay. that’s an...interesting plan. Sounds like a lot of fun.” He laughed nervously and I frowned.

“You looked scared for a minute there.” I tilted my head, curious.

Jimin shrugged.

“You can’t blame me. you literally said you wanted to dig a guy’s eyeballs out.”

I stared back at my knees.

“Yeah... I’m a witch. Sorry to deceive you.” I said bitterly. Jimin sighed and moved closer, draping an arm over my shoulder.

“Stop putting words in my mouth. I was only joking. I’ve done and seen a lot worse than what you did to that guy. I’m not judging you. Sometimes violence is the way and I’m not against what you did.”

I nodded.

“But we need to talk about you, now. this thing is over but I don’t want anything else happening to you.” He said seriously and I hesitated.

“You do realize you aren’t...like... responsible for my well being , right?”

He frowned at me.

“Well, it’s pretty clear that you aren’t being, in any way responsible for your well being... so I’m just doing it for you.... “

I groaned.

“Jimin...”

“Yoongi’s brother is here. He wants to talk to you about some stuff. We’ll discuss things with him, see what he says and then we’ll make a decision okay... Just... I just want you to keep an open mind about this...”

i nodded finally.

“Well, okay. If he’s already here then... okay.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yoongi’s brother looked nothing like him.

“Y/n, I’m going to be honest with you. I can only help you if you’re completely honest with me. If you want this to be confidential, I can ask Jimin to leave right now.”

Jimin made an affronted noise and I smiled a little.

“No..uh.. That’s alright. “ i said awkwardly.

He nodded.

“First things first. You did substantial damage to Im Ji Hwan...but he got help in time.... doctors say he should be back on his feet in less than a few days. “

I grimaced. apparently, I’d failed at yet another thing.

“okay.” i said miserably.

Jung ki chuckled a bit.

“I spoke to your ex and I spent the night going over a lot of things and honestly the most disturbing thing for me, is similarities between this case and something i dealt with, a year back. “

He glanced at Jimin, who leaned forward curiously.

“what case...” He said with a frown.

“domestic abuse resulting in justifiable homicide.”

Jimin reeled back , eyes jumping to mine and i willed myself not to choke.

“What? Domestic.... you mean they’re....” He said confused and disoriented and I swallowed nervously.

“You would be right...” I said softly. “ Ji Hwan... is... legally my husband.”

Jun Ki nodded thoughtfully.

“But...” Jimin turned to me in confusion and i quickly explained.

“But i never consented. He got that sign from me when I was... technically a minor and also under physical and mental strain.”

He nodded.

“i figured as such. I went through public records of your involvement with the police and hospitals . Four years ago, he assaulted you brutally, an event that left you in a hospital for three months. He broke seven of your ribs and fractured your wrist. You had a collapsed lung and nearly died. I read his explanation for the events that night and earlier today , I spoke to Ji Hwan and it further confirmed my belief that he suffers from Nar-”

“Narcissistic Personality disorder , yes.” I said .

“Oh God...” Jimin sank back, looking even more horrified. “ i’m.. Baby... Why didn’t you... I’m going to fucking murder that bastard with my bare-”

“Don’t interrupt us.” Jun ki said sternly and Jimin frowned but backed away a bit.

“So, I’m going to go out on a limb and tell you that you’re actually in danger here. he’s going to want to come back. “

I nodded.

“I’ve thought about it. I just don’t want him to go anywhere near my little sister . I’m alright...” I said softly.

Jimin turned to me and reached out and gripped my hand.

“I’ve already sent someone to her dorm. She’s safe there .... We don’t have to worry about it.”

I stared at his fingers , not sure how it was suddenly ‘ we’.

“Luckily, my sister went through something similar and i can tell you that you’re not in any danger from anyone except him. Its important to him that he’s the one inflicting damage ...so he’s not going to use anyone else. Which is why he’s not pressing charges either.... A narcissist’s ego is really important to him...”

I nodded, having heard it all a million times before.

“I understand... I have the address of the therapist i saw four years ago. Her name is Kim Ji Eun and she’s still in practice in Gangnam. she has all my files and records from the time of the accident and she was one of the witnesses for my case back then...”

“the case that you lost...” Jun Ki said sympathetically.

“you what?! You lost the case? “ Jimin stared at me in shock.

I nodded.

“He had a lot of money and he painted me as a hysterical attention seeking gold digger .... “ I said dryly. i really didn’t want to think about what had happened back then.

“but he hurt you.... and...”

“they delayed the trial till i was fully healed. in fact the first thing the attorney defending him said was , ‘ you look pretty good for someone claiming to be assaulted.’.” i said bitterly.

Jimin hesitated and then gave me a very serious look.

“I’m going to suggest something that I want you to really think about...”

I stared at him curious.

“I can get rid of him for you. We don’t have to go through all this bullshit. tell me the word and I’ll put a bullet in his skull by the next sunrise. It’ll save us a lot of money and a lot of bother..... ”

I was sure he was joking , until Jun Ki coughed conspicuously.

“uh... Jimin I thought we agreed not to uh...solve things that way again...” He coughed again.

Wait...again??!!

“ Tell me, baby. you want him to go away for good?” Jimin said blankly and i shook my head, mildly horrified.

“No... I mean... i’m... i don’t want you to become a killer...” I said, surprised i even had to say it.

“Good choice. Moving on...” jun Ki gave Jimin a pointed look and he frowned at the lawyer, clearly disappointed that murder was now off the table.

“ We’ll get you a restriction order and till then, i’d suggest you stay somewhere safe.”

“She can stay with me.” Jimin said softly and Jun Ki looked surprised.

“oh... i thought .... Jin Hee was still living with you? Isn’t she ? “

I blinked. who was Jin Hee?

Jimin shrugged.

“Of course my girl’s living with me hyung, where else would she be?” He rolled his eyes.

My girl......

Suddenly, i felt completely and utterly foolish. When would i ever stop misinterpreting this guy?!!! He had another girl...of course he did... Jimin hadn’t changed in any way....Seeing him there , looking so angry on my behalf , i’d allowed myself to fall deeper... and here I was...disappointed again.

what kind of idiot gets their heart broken over and over again with the same guy??

I felt sick, mostly at myself.

“Well, if you can make it work that would be great... it’s going to take a few weeks to get the restraining order. “

Jimin nodded.

“i understand. Is that all?”

Jun Ki nodded.

“For now... yes. We’re still going to have to file for divorce but it will be easier with the restraining order. If we file for one now, they may suggest co-habitation to resolve issues....”

I swallowed in disgust.

i hated the judicial system in my country sometimes.

“Okay. Then we’ll talk about this later.”

Jun Ki bowed and i returned the gesture, thanking him again for all his help.

once he had left, Jimin gave me a smile.

‘i still have all the clothes i bought you.” He said softly and I stared down at my feet.

“I can stay with someone else... i don’t want to intrude and-”

“don’t say that. i’d never forgive myself if something happened to you baby...” He said gently.

My heart lurched traitorously. Was there no end to this torture. ...?

“only till i get the restraining order...” i said tiredly.

Jimin nodded.

“okay... Besides , i can’t wait for you to meet my baby girl.” He smiled.

I need to die right now, God.

“ I’m glad you found a nice replacement... for me.” I said bitterly before i could stop myself.

Jimin blinked owlishly.

“Replace...what?” He said looking confused.

“Jin Hee or whatever her name is... I’m glad you’ve found her... “

Jimin stared at me for a second before chuckling.

“Jin Hee is not... My god, Y/n...will you always believe the worst of me? “ he said softly.

“What does that mean.”

“Jin Hee is not my girlfriend.” He said sternly, reaching out and pulling his wallet out. As i watched, he pulled a small polaroid out and slid it to me.

It was a small toddler, probably two or three.

“This is...” I stared in confusion and Jimin smiled wide, eyes crinkling.

“Jin Hee is my three year old daughter.” He said calmly.

All i could do was stare at him.

what. the. fuck.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AUTHOR’S NOTE : BITCH WHY SHOULD JIMIN BE THE ONE TO SAVE HER SHE CAN KICK ASS HERSELF...ASDHGFDSHF HOPE YOU LIKED.....

#jimin smut #bts smut #jimin fics.bts fics.#bts fics #jimin fics #jimin scenarios #bts scenarios

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