#tbh she’s not too crazy in the early morning but from 10:30am to 11:30am and 3:30pm to 4:30pm?? OHHH boy
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Non-exhaustive list of things I’ve called my dog today:
-Mabel (her name)
-Mabes
-Mabesie
-Pup-pup
-Baby
-Babygirl
-Stinky
-Girlie
-Maybelline
-A crackhead
#last one might have been a bit harsh but in fairness she managed to get into my bedroom (banned) and crammed herself behind my bed#and got fucking stuck for NO reason#and THEN when i got her out of there and we went downstairs she tried to do it again!!!#that was the point at which i accused her of crackhead behaviour and making a nuisance of herself#she always does this kind of thing approximately an hour before she’s due to get fed and i’m always like.. you are Not getting fed#an hour early. it’s just not fucking happening#like if your breakfast is at 7am.. and your lunch is at 11:30am.. and your dinner is at 4:30pm….. what happens if we push ALL OF THAT back#an hour. if you had ‘ellen has to get up at the arsecrack of dawn; a thing she is unwilling to do’ you win#tbh she’s not too crazy in the early morning but from 10:30am to 11:30am and 3:30pm to 4:30pm?? OHHH boy#she will climb the fucking walls if she can#i just watch her do it with mild disbelief like ‘you’re a 14 year old patterdale terrier. HOW’#and like i don’t care about the pacing and stuff but when she’s doing stuff that’s outright dangerous (i.e. breaking into my room which is#full of hazardous shit like unsecured bookcases and table lamps with trailing cables) like…..#mabesie. baby. why do you want to die#and don’t get me started on when she tries to climb the fucking sideboard because we’ll be here all night#when i tell you there is NOTHING of interest up there. like please. stop trying to unalive yourself#and also you don’t need to destroy my great-grandma ellen’s art nouveau tea seat. i don’t have anything else of hers apart from her name#just SIT. just BE. this doesn’t need to happen#if it wasn’t obvious i love my dog. i think i love her more than she loves herself. considering I AM THE ONLY ONE LOOKING OUT#FOR HER WELLBEING#i didn’t think i’d have to babyproof my house for a senior dog but this is where we’re at apparently#if any of you need me i’ll be enacting a fucking machiavellian scheme to keep my elderly terrier from trying to emulate olga korbut#personal
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