#thank god his friend obi-wan is such a strong rock in these times

[tennessoui]

would you ever do a hunger games au? like anakin and obi-wan in the arena and doing a katniss and peeta thing where they both survive? anakin maybe killing the competitors so obi-wan wouldn't have to? (just thinking that child killing is in character for him) anyway no pressure or anything I just haven't stopped thinking about a hunger games au of obikin and. I thought maybe you could do something with it!

i need you to know i shamefully snorted at the child murder thing i'm sorry and i'm also sorry this took so long and it's a bit all over the place and doesn't actually get into the Games at all (+ it's been years since I read the books so all inaccuracies should be tastefully ignored pls) this may not be what you asked for tbh but here you go!!

(content warnings: hunger games typical discussion of child murder, but nothing graphic)

(1.7k)

Anakin’s first emotion after his name is called is a strange sense of relief.

Good, he thinks. I’ll get to go with Obi-Wan. He won’t be alone.

He dutifully steps forward out of the crowd towards the stage, where the announcer is waiting next to Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan who is looking at him with an expression of naked devastation.

Anakin tries to convey that it’ll be alright, that it’s fine, that they knew this was a possibility. Sure, it’s Anakin’s last year eligible to be in the Games. Sure his nineteenth birthday is in two weeks, at which point he would become too old to qualify as a child to the Capitol, but what’s done is done.

Obi-Wan will be his mentor, because Obi-Wan has been the mentor for District Four ever since he won his own Games seven years ago when he was sixteen and Anakin was twelve.

That year’s known unofficially as the most boring Games in Panem history, but the Capitol loves how handsome Obi-Wan’s grown to be. So what if he didn’t kill his competitors messily or with a bloodthirsty joy? He’s so polite in his interviews all these years later, and look at those dimples!

It makes Anakin sick, every time Obi-Wan has to leave District Four and travel to the Capitol to be fawned over and stroked and used. His nightmares are always worse the weeks after he gets back, and he never lets Anakin hold him during them.

And it’s even worse during the actual Games, when Obi-Wan is put in charge of two children’s lives only to see them brutally murdered on screen a week later. The cameras always show his reaction when the competitors from District Four die. They must think he cries pretty or something.

Anakin hates the Capitol. He hates them for what they’ve done to Obi-Wan. What they’ve made him into

As he gets close enough to the stage, he notices that Obi-Wan’s hands are shaking slightly.

He doesn’t even listen to the name of the girl being called. She’s not important. She’ll be dead in a few days time. What’s important is Obi-Wan. What’s important is comforting him, is reassuring him. Is coming back to him.

This is the moment when Anakin resolves that these Games will become known as the quickest in history.

---

The girl is understandably sullen and upset on the train. “I should get a different mentor!” she demands. “It’s obvious you’re going to play favorites with him.”

Anakin doesn’t snap back because she’ll be dead in a few days. Though she really shouldn’t use that tone with Obi-Wan.

“I’m not playing favorites,” Obi-Wan insists. “I don’t have favorites.”

“You literally just wiped sauce off his mouth with your finger,” the girl points out. “And then he licked it!”

Anakin smirks at her. Of course Obi-Wan has favorites. Of course Anakin is Obi-Wan’s favorite. It took him years to wear down Obi-Wan until he allowed him this close, and years after that until he finally got to kiss him for the first time, just a few months ago.

If she thinks he’s going to give up any of his Obi-Wan time so she can get her hopes up about not dying in a few days, she’s got another thing coming.

But Obi-Wan shifts away from him and he looks guilty.

If Anakin could get away with killing the other person from his district, he would. But it’d probably make Obi-Wan sad.

“Is whining part of your strategy?” he asks waspishly instead. “I don’t think it’ll make you many allies.”

She has the nerve to look offended.

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan chides. Underneath the table, he squeezes his knee.

“Everyone in the district knows about you two,” she glares at him. “You haven’t exactly kept it a secret.”

Anakin hasn’t exactly tried to keep it a secret. The first night Obi-Wan had kissed him, he went straight home and told his mother, his neighbor, his schoolmates, his cat, and his ex-girlfriend.

(No one had been surprised, except maybe the cat.)

“It’s not fair,” she cries. “Who can I talk to to get a different mentor for me?”

“The ethics board,” Anakin smiles, all teeth, settling back into his seat and slinging an arm around Obi-Wan’s shoulders.

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan says again, this time more exasperatedly. “Robin, I promise I will be the best mentor you can ask for. It is my wish to see you survive as long as possible in the next few weeks.”

The girl jumps to her feet in outrage. “You can’t even say you want me to win!” she yells. There are tears at the corners of her eyes. If she were a little less annoying, Anakin would feel quite bad for her. Obviously Obi-Wan doesn’t want her to win. Anakin’s right here.

She storms out of the train compartment, her face in her hands. Anakin barely waits for the door to close before he’s slipping into Obi-Wan’s lap and throwing his arms around his neck with a groan. “God, I thought she’d never leave.”

He isn’t pushed away. Obi-Wan must realize they only have a handful of days left to be together before he goes into the arena.

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan says wearily, even as his arms encircle his waist.

Anakin presses a kiss to his nose and then another to his cheek. “It’s alright to have favorites, Obi-Wan,” he murmurs. “And she should know there’s no way she’s winning anything. Don’t waste your time.”

“I will do everything I can to make sure she survives as long as possible,” Obi-Wan repeats. “I don’t think I can survive anything else.”

Obi-Wan’s voice sounds shaky, so Anakin presses their lips together. Best not to talk for awhile.

------

“We should discuss strategy,” Obi-Wan says later that night through frantic kisses. “Sponsors, story, training--”

“I have a strategy,” Anakin murmurs back as he moves further down the bed, rucking up his partner’s shirt. “Win.”

----

“You look absolutely radiant,” Anakin tells the girl in an undertone while they’re in line for their interviews. She turns around to glare at him. The designer for their district has gone for the typical fish designs that people always associate with District Four, and they’ve dressed her up in a shimmering iridescent gown that flares at the ends like a fish’s tail.

Anakin’s own outfit is mostly a fishing net draped over one shoulder and a pair of tight pants. The designer, much to Obi-Wan’s embarrassment and Anakin’s satisfaction, had taken one look at his shirtless chest and decided to dress him in as little clothes as possible.

“Weird braid,” is all she says.

Obi-Wan had done it late last night when both of them had tired each other out and Anakin had curled up on his chest. After his Games, Obi-Wan’s hands like to do something. The repetitive motion of braiding and unbraiding Anakin’s hair soothes his demons.

It’s one of the reasons Anakin’s grown it out to his shoulders, much longer than is practical for his district.

Obi-Wan had gone to unbraid it, and Anakin had stopped him. He wanted to keep it. To wear it into the Games.

“Thank you,” he says generously. “I saw your score. 7’s not too bad.”

She sneers at him. “Did you celebrate your 11 with your boyfriend?”

“Oh sorry,” he winces. “Did you hear us? I’m just so bad at biting my tongue when he does this thing with his.”

She scoffs in disgust and turns back around. “I hope he has to watch you die.”

Anakin glares at her back. He knows he can’t kill her himself. But there has to be a way to hurt her and her chances and still have plausible deniability.

When it’s her turn for an interview, she’s vapid and pretty. She laughs and touches the interviewer’s arm.

“I’ve never spent much time in District Four,” the interviewer says jovially. “But tell me, really. Is everyone there as beautiful as the people you keep sending us? I mean. Obi-Wan Kenobi, ladies and gentlemen, am I right?” The audience laughs and hollers. Anakin hates them all. “And now you, Robin, and Anakin Skywalker. Damn!”

Robin--Anakin needs to stop forgetting her name--giggles high in her throat. “It was a very, very enjoyable train ride up,” she says with a stupid wiggle of her eyebrows. “Just this side of too long.”

The audience loses it.

Anakin loses it.

He can’t believe she’s sitting there publicly suggesting that Anakin shares Obi-Wan with anyone. With her. The nerve.

The camera pans to Obi-Wan in the crowd, who looks shocked, embarrassed, and deeply troubled.

Anakin won’t let this stand. He just hopes Obi-Wan forgives him.

The interviewer greets him excitedly when he walks out, and Anakin gives him a sheepish sort of smile.

“Lady killer Skywalker!” the interviewer says. Anakin laughs along with him. “All the girls back home must have been heartbroken to see you leave.”

“But I’ve heard they love watching me go,” he jokes with a charming smile. If that girl--Robin--can do it, he can do it much better. “There’s really only one person for me though,” he murmurs, letting his smile die.

“Oh?” The interviewer asks, leaning forward with interest.

“But sometimes I wonder if they’re only using me for my body,” he says, casting his eyes down. “I love them. Heart and soul, everything I am. But when I told them, they just laughed.”

This is technically true. The first time Anakin had told Obi-Wan that he was in love with him, the older boy had laughed his confession off, saying he was too young to know what he wanted.

“Oh, to be young and in love,” the interviewer sighs theatrically. “So your plan is to win the Games and then win her heart when you get back home?”

Anakin makes himself look sad. Tragically sad. Like he can’t bear to go on.

“They came with me,” he says.

If the audience’s reaction to Robin’s fake confession was huge, its reaction to Anakin’s words is even bigger. Of course they think he’s talking about the girl. That’s exactly what Anakin had wanted. Now he’s the broken-hearted boy and she’s the vapid, self-absorbed bitch. She'll have a hard time finding sponsors now.

It’s very, very hard to hide his smile, a task made exponentially more hard when he sees Obi-Wan bury his face in his hands.

“It’s alright,” Anakin tells the interviewer, without taking his eyes off of Obi-Wan. “I’ll survive.”

[frunbuns]

As the World Falls Apart

Read on Ao3

Padmé watches Obi-Wan rock Leia around the ship, willing her to stop crying. He shushes and coos at her as he gently pats her back. Nothing seems to work. He’s been trying for the past hour or so. Leia has a strong pair of lungs and doesn’t seem to be stopping anytime soon. Even as Obi-Wan practically begs her to stop crying. Nothing works. They’ve tried feeding her. They’ve tried changing. At this point she’s just crying for the sake of it. She’s sure of it.

Obi-Wan looks dead on his feet as he paces from one part of the cockpit to the other. His eyes are bloodshot, red and splotchy. Dark bags under his eyes. His clothes are scorched and burnt. Hair tousled. He’s limping slightly. She hasn’t said anything about it, but she assumes it’s from his fight with Grievous. He hasn’t smiled once since they got back from Mustafar - not even one of his fake ones he puts on sometimes. (Except when the twins were born, but even that smile, while fond and loving, had been filled with heartbreak.) In fact, he looks miserable right now. Like he’s on the verge of crying. He probably is, Padmé muses. Padmé kinda feels like crying too.

She had offered to take Leia off him, but he had refused. Told her to remain seated, a dozing baby Luke in her arms. It was typical of him, really. Obi-Wan had always been good at giving pieces of himself, even at the expense of himself. He had been like that as long as they’d been friends.

It’s strange. How it has merely been hours since the twins had been born. And now they were hurtling through hyperspace. Master Yoda had told them to go to Naboo with the twins and go into hiding. Obi-Wan would serve as protection and a teacher once Luke and Leia start showing force sensitive abilities. They’ll need to learn how to control it. Padmé is just grateful she’s not going to be alone, and she’s sure Obi-Wan feels the same. She is grateful for his company, no matter how miserable they both might be right now. At least it’s something.

She’s glad he snuck onboard the ship when she went to Mustafar. She’s not sure what would have happened if he hadn’t. She thought she could talk some sense into him. Obi-Wan had probably thought so too. Even after all he’d done she still loved him. She continued to love him, even if he broke her heart. Obi-Wan too.

Anakin had always said he and Obi-Wan were closer than most jedi. That they were like brothers. That Obi-Wan had been like a father to him. Looking at him now, there’s no doubt the love was mutual. And as a mother now, she feels like she gets him better than she ever has. All of Anakin’s stories about Obi-Wan. Their little misadventures.

They were like two halves of a whole, and Padmé can’t help but feel like Obi-Wan died with Anakin on Mustafar in some way. The Obi-Wan in front of her is almost like a shell of the man she knew.

She can’t imagine having to do what Obi-Wan did. It’s just not fair. But things are rarely fair. With the war rampaging the galaxy, sith lords at every corner. The galaxy has never been fair, but it could at least try for Obi-Wan’s sake. Padmé can’t imagine being only thirty-eight years old and knowing as much heartbreak as Obi-Wan does. She can’t help but admire his strength. That he’s still standing right now. Padmé honestly feels like she’s going to break any moment.

And if Leia doesn’t stop crying soon she might start crying too.

Leia’s screeching is ear-piercing. She’s red in the face from the sheer effort of it. Tiny fists balled into the fabric of Obi-Wan’s tunic, tears streaming down her small face. It’s a miracle she hasn’t worn herself out by now. Padmé sure would have.

God she hopes this isn’t going to be a regular thing. She’s not sure she can take it. And from the looks of things Obi-Wan doesn’t either. Taking care of twins is going to be enough work, but having to deal with twins and a screaming baby sounds damn near impossible. Even for two people.

R2 beeps in sympathy from where he’s piloting the ship.

Padmé closes her eyes, preparing for the impending headache she knows she’s gonna get soon. But then the screeching stops. It just stops. Padmé can’t believe her ears, but when she opens her eyes again Leia seems to have settled against Obi-Wan’s shoulder, eyes half lidded and body lax. Obi-Wan looks at her with bewilderment. As if he can’t believe it either.

A range of emotions crosses his features before he closes his eyes, in utter relief, and lets out a choked sound. Something like a sob. It’s an utterly pathetic and pitiful sound. Something that’s not very becoming of a Jedi master. But she finds that she agrees as she smiles at him. Wet and a little crooked, but relieved.

But that’s not the end of it. It’s like the floodgates have finally opened - that the dam has broken - because Obi-Wan chokes back another sob. And another. And another. And then there are tears running down his cheeks and disappearing into his beard. And he’s sniffling as he suppresses shudders in an attempt to not disturb the now calm baby.

“Obi-Wan?” she murmurs, just loud enough for him to hear her. “Why don’t you sit down. You must be exhausted.”

He nods. “Y-yes that— that— I’m so-sorry. I—” He gasps and hiccups as he stumbles over the words. It’s truly a pitiful sight.

She does her best to put on a warm and comforting smile. Even as her whole body aches, she stands up and walks over to him, careful not to jostle Luke too much. She’s never seen him like this before, and if her heart didn’t feel like it was already shattered into a million pieces it would break even more now. “It’s okay,” she tells him, putting a hand on his arm. His tattered sleeve full of burns and holes. “It’s okay.”

Gently, she guides him back to the pilot’s seat and he slumps down into it. His sobs subsiding into quiet sniffles and silent tears. Leia appears to have drifted off to sleep, thank the stars. Padmé isn’t sure she can handle much more at this point. She envies them. The twins. And their ability to just fall asleep as the world falls apart around them. They haven’t got a clue what’s happening around them. Everything is in shambles, and she’s grateful that they’re blissfully unaware of it all.

The ship rumbles beneath their feet. It’s a sturdy craft. Skillfully built and probably expensive, but awfully boringly decorated on the inside. It’s nothing like Padmé’s ships. But she supposes the jedi don’t really care for such.

“I’m sorry,” Obi-Wan croaks after a while. “I mean it.”

Padmé raises a brow at him. “Why?”

“I failed him. I failed Anakin,” he says, voice tight as he avoids her gaze. the light of the stars dancing across his features and glimmering in his glassy eyes. “I should have realised something was wrong. He was my padawan. I should have known.”

“Obi-Wan,” she murmurs. “Palpatine groomed and manipulated him for years. It’s not your fault. There’s nothing you could have done. We did our best.”

“I shouldn’t have let him see him. I always knew there was something about him.”

The corner of Padmé’s lips quirk upwards. “I never liked him either,” she says. To which Obi-Wan smiles at her, albeit faintly and ever so briefly. At least it’s something.

Leia continues to doze on Obi-Wan’s chest, ear pressed to his chest where his heart beats below his ribcage. She looks so small with his hand almost covering up her entire back. She just wishes anakin was here. So he could enjoy his children with her. Like he should. But she supposes Obi-Wan will have to do. As far as she’s concerned, he is the next best thing. He did raise Anakin, after all.

Padmé breaks the silence. “So what does this make you then?” she asks, humour in her voice. “Grandpa Obi-Wan?”

She hears the jedi snort. “Surely I’m too young for such a title.”

“Oh yeah, old man? Pretty sure I heard your joints pop when you sat down just now.”

“You’re going to regret saying those words in ten years time when you’re my age.”

Padmé smiles, a real, genuine smile, for what feels like the first time in forever. She even chuckles a little. A little quiet and awkward, but genuine. When she looks at Obi-Wan he is smiling so wide it reaches his eyes.

They’ll be exiting hyperspace soon, but right now they can rest. Just her, her children and Obi-Wan. Some ragtag team for a family, but she doesn't really mind the idea of it. There’s just something missing.

Obi-Wan strokes Leia’s back so gently it almost looks like he’s afraid to break her. He watches her with such softness and adoration it makes Padmé’s heart swell. He has only known them for a day and he already loves them. Anakin would be ecstatic.

“I just wish Anakin was here.”

Obi-wan stops stroking Leia’s back momentarily, fixing her with a gaze she can’t quite deschipher. “Me too,” he murmurs. “They’re wonderful, Padmé. He would have adored them.”

Padmé nods, a sad smile on her face. “He would have.�� Her heart aches at the thought of it, but she appreciates the sentiment. “I’m glad you’re here though, Obi-Wan. It means a lot that I’m not alone.”

“I’m glad too, dear,” he tells her softly. “I’m not sure what I’d do if— I mean—” He swallows thickly. “—Almost everyone I knew is dead. Mace, Bant, Luminara, Quin… Ahsoka. Oh god, Ahsoka.”

Padmé can almost feel the grief in the air. She wonders if this is what it’s like to be a jedi. To have one of those bonds that Anakin had talked about.

“I’m sorry too,” she tells him. “About the jedi, and the clones… And Anakin. I know you loved him.”

Obi-Wan closes his eyes and nods solemnly. He doesn’t need to say anything. She understands. She reaches out and grabs his hand where it lies limply in his lap. It’s calloused and scarred, but warm and gentle. Obi-Wan’s hand is warm and firm in her hand. A little bigger than hers, a little rougher. The hand of a jedi. Of a long life lived. Of a friend. A mentor. Even a father. She can imagine him ruffling a young Anakin’s hair with. Righting Ahsoka’s grip on her lightsaber. Shaking her hand at events. She gives his hand a squeeze and hopes he gets it. He does. He squeezes her hand back. They sit like that for the rest of the journey.

They exit hyperspace, the ship jolting slightly from it. In the distance Padmé spots Naboo. As long as she had lived on Coruscant Naboo would always be her home. And now it would be Obi-Wan’s too, she supposes. She looks over at him and finds him with his eyes closed. As if he’s asleep. She smiles. She can wait to wake him until they’ve landed. He could use the rest. She could too, honestly.

She misses Anakin already. Not the man she saw on Mustafar, but the man she fell in love with. The father of her children. The man that loved, and was loved in return. Her Anakin. Obi-Wan’s Anakin. Ahsoka’s Anakin. A man that was flawed, but good. A man that was kind. Her husband. Ahsoka’s master. Obi-Wan’s padawan. God, she misses him. Just the thought of him makes her heart ache.

They’ll be okay, Padmé thinks. Not right now. Maybe not for a while. But one day. She’s sure of it. They’ve survived so far. They’ve got each other. They just need a moment of quiet. Just a little moment. They’ll be okay. Just not right now.

[kaijusplotch]

Deaging clones fic wip

so this is titled "Rejuvination" and i wanna share this so...ENJOY!

Cody was glad that the latest campaign was over. It had been hell for the 212th and the 501st. While casualties had been low, it was still a blow to each battalion. They felt too much, sometimes, both Rex and himself; as well as their generals. Something heavy was hanging over The Negotiator, and he was sure that was the same over on The Resolute.

“Cody, we need to change course,” Obi-Wan said softly as they stood on the bridge.

“Sir?” Cody frowned worriedly, wondering what it was that pulled his general off of their return route to Coruscant.

Obi-Wan just smiled and patted Cody’s shoulder. “It’s nothing bad. The Force is...pulling me toward something. But it’s a good feeling.”

Cody eyed his general, raising an eyebrow before shaking his head. “Alright. Should we let The Resolute know?”

“Yes, if Anakin hasn’t sensed it as well. There’s a planet that has a strong force presence; a peaceful one. It must be a well of the Force or something like it.”

Cody hadn’t seen his general so relaxed in a long time. If this detour was going to give Obi-Wan a little more peace, then Cody was all for it. He smiled and nodded to Siren. “Send the coordinates to The Resolute. I think we’ve all earned a little detour/shore leave.”

The command center was filled with cheers from the clones, and soft laughs from the nat-born administrators. Some peace and quiet (or as much as Cody could get from some of his men) would be nice. He just hoped Waxer didn’t try to adopt any local wildlife.

The planet was uninhabited by any sentient species, which was a surprise to Cody. The air was safe, even had safe food and water if they wanted to have a snack. What seemed to be what drew the Jedi was a strange abandoned temple. What drew Cody’s, and by extension most of the exhausted 212th and 501st command structure were the hot springs.

“You should enjoy yourselves while here,” Obi-Wan said with a small smile. “The scanners are working on the shuttle; there’s no need to be on edge.”

“Are you sure, sir?” Cody watched his General carefully. He seemed already to be so much more at ease, he wanted to thank whatever deities existed.

“Very. Nothing bad will happen here.” Obi-Wan was so confident in his assessment that Cody had no choice but to have faith in him.

“All right.” Cody sighed and looked up as the sound of another shuttle breaking atmosphere broke the peaceful silence. He smiled, noticing the nose-art of the two LA/ATs settled down besides the 212th. Cody was excited to see his little brother, and hopefully catch up on the chaos that the Domino Squad was no doubt causing.

“Hey Master!” Anakin cried as he jumped from the shuttle, beaming and stretching. Behind him Ashoka was already pulling an exhausted looking Rex from where he had settled.

“Anakin, Ashoka,” Obi-Wan said with a smile as he walked to meet them.

“General, Commander, Rex’ika.” Cody grinned when Rex just glared at him.

“Really, Cody?” Rex grumbled.

“I’ve effectively been given a short term leave by Obi-Wan. I can call you whatever I want.” Cody beamed and punched his brother’s shoulder playfully. He looked up when the rest of the 501st came out, smiling as they mingled with brothers from the 212th.

“You’re right, Master. This place feels...so bright and light!” Ashoka smiled and closed her eyes as she stood with her masters.

“General Kenobi says there’s nothing here to be worried about, I have to believe him, if only for how much better he looks,” Cody said, smiling at the young Torgruta. “Although I’m more interested in the hot springs.”

“Hot springs?” Anakin and Ashoka asked with bright smiles.

“Sorry, claimed first use,” Rex joined in, looking more eager than he was before.

“I want to meditate anyway first. The old temple is this way.” Obi-Wan beckoned the other two Jedi away and toward the eroded stone ruins on top of the small hill looking over the deeper valley below them.

“I’m up for hot spring dip!” Hardcase chirped beaming and already stripping out of his armor as he hurried away.

“YES! C’mon Boil!” Waxer grabbed his twin and dragged the other ARF trooper toward the several large hot springs tucked close to the mountain side.

Cody snorted and looked to the rest of the troops who were joining in with the rush to fresh hot water. “C’mon. Maybe we can find a pool that won’t be full of chaos.” He pulled Rex along at a more sedated pace, soaking in the good feelings and bright warm sunlight filtering through the trees as they stepped under them.

Already piles of blue and orange-gold armor were on the edges of the pools, with a few piles of blacks already. hanging on low hanging branches. Cody spotted the Domino squad chatting away with Jesse, Kix, Waxer, and Boil. He was glad to see that even with Echo and Fives going off on missions with other units, they were still close with Droidbait, Hevy, and Cutup.

“This one’s small, but no one else is here,” Rex called past a small collection of small shrubs and thin seedlings.

Cody smiled, spotting the ten foot wide pool and nodded. “Brotherly bonding time it is then.” He said smirking and pulling his armor off and piling it to the side, stripping down completely.

“Oh come on, leave your briefs, I don’t want to see your junk, Cody!”

“We have the same junk.” Cody rolled his eyes and tossed his shorts over a branch before walking into the hot water. He hissed a bit before settling down and finding a rock to sit on, leaning back against the edge of the pool with a sigh. “Never knew you’d become such a prude.”

“I have a 14 year old FEMALE Padawan on the ship.” Rex grumbled, settling in next to his brother in his underclothes. “AND she’s here on planet.”

“Oh...kriff, good point.” Cody frowned and stood to turn around. “OI! Someone better be on watch to stop Ashoka from walking in on the sausage festival!” Cody cried to the loud chatter of his brothers. The answering “KRIFF!” explained all he needed, even as he heard water splashing and yelling at brothers to toss each other their shorts.

“See?” Rex tossed Cody’s shorts in his face and smirked.

Cody glared and splashed him back before putting the shorts back on. “Shit head,” he spat, although it just felt good to not be a soldier and just be an older brother.

“Shebs kisser.”

“I know you are but what am I?”

Rex burst out laughing and Cody couldn’t help but join him. It felt good; he felt younger than he had in - well - forever. He held his breath and dunked under the water, rubbing his face.

“Gods this feels so good…” Rex said with a deep sigh.

“Second that, Rex.” Cody leaned his head back, closing his eyes and letting the hot water and the peaceful energy soak into his muscles and bones.

The laughter and splashing of the sixty-some brothers in the other larger pools was a siren song and Cody slowly found himself falling into a restful drifting sleep; even as a few voices sounded slightly different. Nothing bad would happen here. His General promised him.

Obi-Wan wasn’t sure exactly how long he, Anakin, and Ashoka had been meditating, but when he finally felt the gentle caress of awareness brush his consciousness he finally allowed himself to come out of the meditation. Opening his eyes he had to hold a small chuckle at the sight of both his Padawan and grand-padawan sprawled across each other in a peaceful sleep. The lines of stress across their faces were gone; like they never happened. Even their force signatures were lighter and brighter; even the super-nova-like brightness of Anakin’s.

“Anakin, Ashoka,” Obi-Wan gently prodded, poking their feet. He was rewarded by a very classic Anakin whine and grumpy face. Obi-Wan openly laughed at that. It had been so long.

“Ugh! Master, I don’t want to get up!”

“We should, especially if we want to go to the hot springs, Master.” Ashoka slowly uncurled from where she was sleeping and stretched. She looked like a Tooka as she yawned widely and arched her back; another reminder for Obi-Wan of her carnivorous nature.

“I should make sure that the boys are at least decent.” Obi-Wan stood and stretched, feeling his aches gone and his heart lighter. “Come on, both of you up. It’s nearly sundown and we should be getting back to the ships soon.”

He left to the complaints of both of his friends, knowing well that they wouldn’t leave before everyone had had a soak. He wasn’t as cruel as he played. Besides, Obi-Wan hadn’t felt this good in years. The Force was soothing and rejuvenating; lifting the years of weight that seemed to double from the war.

The path down into the small group of trees near was clear of any stones, although the piles of armor that were peeking out from between bushes and shrubs broke up the monotony of neon green and purple. The sound of a panicked scream broke through the peaceful chatter of aves and other creatures, causing anxiety to well in Obi-Wan’s heart.

“Cody?!” Obi-Wan rushed forward, abandoning his outer cloak to the wind. He burst through the bushes that blocked the path and drew his saber, only to stare in shock.

Sixty high ranking clones were staring back at Obi-Wan with wide, slightly shocked, slightly terrified, brown eyes. Most were scrambling to hold up their too-big under clothes as they abandoned the pools, some were swimming in their blacks, some were trying to use their armor to hide their nudity. Cody and Rex were part of the first group, staring up at Obi-Wan. Every single one between the ages of ten and 12.

“Oh dear…”

[captainmazzic]

The Ahsoka Novel Review, or, Goddamnit Star Wars, Part CXXVIII

Under a cut because this thing is long as fuuuuuck

...Okay. That was... Interesting.

I’m just going to ignore the first part where the author pretends to make Ahsoka have some sort of compassion-sympathy for Maul while taunting him and throwing his disability in his face at the same time. Was there even any point to having this little exchange? It’s not mentioned later, Maul has no bearing at all on this plot, and nothing Ahsoka does here is relevant even as a learning experience for later. It’s just... there. Token inclusion to draw in the Maul fans, I guess? Or.. alienate them yet again, I don’t even know.

This is how it starts. *laughing*. It gets so much worse. And... has a few moments where it shines, I admit. Anyway. Let’s get this party started. 

So pretty much we follow Ahsoka around for a few years while she mopes about not being an Official Jedi™ and develops a major martyr obsession. Coming from Ahsoka’s mouth, it just seems so out of place, incongruent, and it gets old real fast. She regrets leaving the Jedi Order before Order 66 happens, she wishes she hadn’t survived while the rest of the Jedi died, she wonders why she lived when she didn’t “deserve” to because she “deserted” the Jedi, etc. etc. ETC. I am so sick of Heroic Characters™ with survivors’ complexes that don’t even fit their fucking character. We need another one of those like we need another vampire bemoaning immortality as a curse, or a burning stick to the eye. I’d rather take the burning stick. Ugh.

Anyway. When Ahsoka isn’t being that particular brand of OOC, she’s being a mouthpiece for... something. Someone. I’m honestly not sure who. Or why. But she says stuff that makes no sense for someone like Ahsoka to say, and you get the impression that she says it just so that the author can have these things out in the open. That whole making the crystal bleed? We won’t get started on that just yet. But yeah. What. The. Fuck. And she says stuff about Barriss being.. a... bully? Did I fucking read that right? Like I mean she says some things about Barriss that are accurate (it was cruel for her to try and let Ahsoka take the fall for the temple bombing, she didn’t trust people, and she was afraid of the war), but I’m not sure where she was ever a bully? Oh wait I guess that’s just the book being badly written. 

And oh my god. Let me just. Excerpt a few… unfortunate word choices:  

“The mechanisms put in place during the Clone Wars had been twisted for the Empire's use, and every day the Emperor’s hold grew tighter. She almost admired Palpatine for his ability to pull off a long-term plan – except for his being evil and all."

About the Grand Inquisitor:

“His agents must follow his every order as though the Emperor himself had given it. That sort of power made him feel very strong.”

Also about the Grand Inque:

“As he stalked through the corridor, his agents scattered out of his way. They were all afraid of him, which he liked rather a lot.”

And my personal favourite cringe-worthy writing:

“Dark crystals were made, too, but not in that holy place. They were plundered from their rightful bearers and corrupted by the hands that stole them. Even rock could be changed by the power of the Force, bleeding alterations until their color was the deepest red. The balance was finely staged between the two, light and dark, and it took very little to upset it.”

...What in the flying freebasing FUCK does “bleeding alterations” even fucking MEAN? What balance? Why is it staged? Why, if there is supposed to be a “balance” in the Force inside these bits of mineral, are they supposedly inherently “light”? Why are the Jedi their only “rightful bearers” (I mean, other than the Jedi arbitrarily laying sovereign claim to anything Force-related they set eyes on, whether meant for them or not)?

Oh, well let’s see here. Ahsoka is here to help.

"I've never seen white ones before," Bail mused.

"They used to be red," Ahsoka said. "When the creature had them, they were red. But I heard them before I ever saw him on Raada, and knew that they were meant for me."

"You changed their nature?" he asked.

"I restored them," Ahsoka replied. "I freed them. The red crystals were corrupted by the dark side when those who wielded them bent them to their will. They call it making the crystal bleed. That's why the blade is red."

Okay so basically Ahsoka met an Inquisitor (whom she, persistently, ever so kindly calls a “creature”, more on that in a minute), killed him, stole and destroyed his lightsabers, then ripped the crystals out of them and put them in her own shiny new lightsaber hilts she just made. They apparently faded from bright red to colourless. (Which, honestly, to me, in my ever so humble opinion, interprets as “I just killed everything unique and vibrant about these crystals and drained them of all individuality, just like the Jedi do to people when they ‘free’ them :D :D :D”. But I mean. That’s just me.) This crystal bleeding is fucking Jedi folklore superstition. It’s stupid. It’s even stupider than the old “synthetic crystals are unnatural so of COURSE the Sith use them, m’kay” canon.

I’m just. So annoyed. So very annoyed.

So anyway. Ahsoka killed an Inquisitor, the Sixth Brother. She and a little girl sense him as a shadow at first - “The shadow was almost certainly one of the dark side's creatures. Ahsoka had no idea what sort of thing it might be, but whatever it was...” And that’s that. He’s “the creature” for the rest of the time he’s referred to. Seems like she hung around Kenobi way too fucking much, his style of Jedi seems to have rubbed off on her. Sigh.

But then she protests.

"I'm not really a Jedi, you know," she said. "I left the Temple, turned away from the Jedi path."

"If you're not a Jedi, then what are you, Ahsoka Tano?" Bail asked. "Because to be honest, you still sound and act like a Jedi to me."

OF COURSE SHE DOES. SHE IS A GODDAMN JEDI. A ~Grey Jedi~ is still a fucking JEDI OH EM FUCKING GEE. They’re Jedi Lite. Half the calories, most of the judgment, twice the taste, all the guilt! Goddamnit Star Wars. You’re not fooling anyone. Stop trying.

Moving on.

So then we have the Unresolved Sexual Tension between Ahsoka and Kaeden. Which largely means… Unrequited Feels on Kaeden’s part and… nothing else.

"Ahsoka!" Kaeden ran toward her, but stopped short of throwing her good arm around Ahsoka's shoulder. She knew that lightsabers were not to be trifled with. She could almost feel the power pouring out of Ahsoka anyway. It was amazing. "I could kiss you."

Ahsoka stopped in her tracks. The look she shot Kaeden was mildly confused.

"Not now, I mean," Kaeden said. She wanted to laugh for the first time in weeks but thought that might just be the hysteria setting in. "My timing is terrible and you have all those Jedi hang-ups. I just wanted you to know in case we die."

"Oh," said Ahsoka. "Well, thanks."

….. Oh. Well, thanks.

*beats head against wall* WOULD IT HAVE KILLED YOU, STAR WARS, TO HAVE GIVEN US JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE. I mean, I’m all about canonical asexual and/or aromantic Ahsoka, that would have been fucking rad, but they’ve already given us the fiasco that was goddamn LUX BONTERI, so The Powers That Be already canonically ruined that for me. Bi or Pan or Lesbian Ahsoka would have been really awesome too. Just… anything but Clueless Insensitive Straight Ahsoka for canon, please. PLEASE. We have enough of those characters already. Ahsoka doesn’t need to be one of them. Just my opinion though. Of course. *sigh*

...And then we have a brief, very out-of-place flashback from Anakin’s POV, that actually has zERO to do with anYTHINg, but it’s heartbreaking nonetheless because it’s just before Ahsoka is introduced and Anakin is still thinking that Ahsoka is going to be Kenobi’s apprentice.

"Anakin wasn't entirely sure what his place next to Obi-Wan would look like once his friend had a new student. Jedi weren't as married to the concept of two as the Sith were, but most of them acted singly or in pairs. It was one of the reasons Anakin had never put in for a Padawan of his own. He didn't want it to look like he was pushing Obi-Wan aside. Now, Obi-Wan had gone and done it first, and Anakin still wasn't sure how he felt about it."

He didn’t want Kenobi to feel sidelined. I’m. Just. Goddamnit Star Wars don’t give me Obikin feels when we already know Kenobi turns into the most asinine, horrible person in all the Jedi next to, maybe, Yoda.

Anyway. Let’s move on again.

Oh yeah. So there’s Kolvin. He’s a Rodian.

….. Now, I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it very often, but one of the things I fixate on in Star Wars is the frequency of Rodian deaths. Almost all of the named (and a bunch of the unnamed) Rodians we meet end up getting killed. A good majority of them on-screen or in-story. Rodians are one of my favourite species in the entirety of Star Wars and it really upsets me that the greater majority of the ones we meet get axed quickly after we’re first introduced to them. And Kolvin’s no exception. We are pretty much introduced to him solely for the sake of watching him die, graphically, a chapter or two later. I’m just… furious beyond being capable of physically showing it. It’s exhausting.

And I think my final criticism of the book is the entire story behind the Empire even being on Raada in the first place. It’s such a fabricated, “Oh I guess we need a reason to fuck up Ahsoka’s life again via the Empire” kind of plot. It makes LITERALLY ZERO LOGICAL SENSE, even if I stretch real hard and invoke believing at least six impossible things before breakfast. There is NO reason why these genetically engineered plants would be useful. The Empire would not go through all this trouble to search for productive agricultural worlds only to use them once (ONCE??) and then give it up as a barren wasteland after first use. That is so unproductive, unprofitable, and inefficient. Why would they do that, and then leave the farmers to try and scrape by after that? Such a waste of resources. We already have PLENTY of examples of what the Empire does with agricultural worlds. Ones that MAKE SENSE. They come in, set up their infrastructure, heavily regulate work schedules, and implement their own ideas about what needs to be grown. And guess what? It’s stuff that they can plant indefinitely, because that keeps the population working under tight, regulated control. It keeps them in a routine that is hard to break. It keeps them busy, it keeps them tired, it keeps them distracted. It maintains a level of familiarity that’s just close enough to normalcy that they will be hesitant to do anything to break it. These are useful things to the Empire. VITAL things.

Instead we get a moustache-twirling saturday morning cartoon where the Empire sweeps in, destroys everything, cackles maniacally, knocks over your sandcastle, and kicks the puppy on the way out. Why is it so fucking hard for these hired writers to come up with a good villainous reason for the villains to be villainous? Honestly they have material RIGHT THERE. USE IT. For fuck’s sake.

Okay but with all this criticism there were a couple highlights.

There was a Black Sun agent. They didn’t last too terribly long as a part of the story, but they’re referred to only with they/them pronouns for the entire time they’re around, and that. Pleased me. Greatly. And there wasn’t even some concentrated effort to “find out their gender” or idle speculation or some other stupid bullshit. It was very much a non-issue, and that also pleased me. Good job. Gold star.

And despite the fact that Ahsoka had a lot of damning things to say about Barriss, she had this to say as well:

“She had a point about the Republic and the Jedi. There was something wrong with them, and we were too locked into our traditions to see what it was… If we'd listened to her – really listened – we might have been able to stop Palpatine before he took power."

In the text, that statement is surrounded with too many disclaimers and defensive finger-pointing for me to be entirely happy with it, but it’s something, and I’m glad Ahsoka was the one the writers allowed to say it.

I really liked it when we had some glimpses of Ahsoka’s actual questioning nature whenever the story got in her head. It didn’t happen very often at all, most of the time she’s just developing her martyr fixation or bemoaning her existence, but every now and again we get a tiny peek of the Ahsoka that captured my heart towards the end of The Clone Wars, walking away from the Jedi temple and saying that she needed to figure things out on her own, without the Jedi, without Anakin, without the crutches and restrictions that the Order held her down with. If only we’d gotten more of that Ahsoka throughout the book, it could have made the story shine.

[ladyknightliveblogs]

I was trying to stay off my computer, but still needed to liveblog, so have some more notes from my phone.

"for which Owen, a stolid man of the soil if ever there was one" listen, afaik moisture farmers don't really do much with soil per se? Do Earth epithet for farmers still apply on Tatooine?

Why does simply adding "unit" after "refrigerator" make it 99.99% more Sci-Fi?

"I don't think that man exists anymore. He died about the same time as your father." 1. You don’t THINK he exists but you know he died? Nice cover, Owen. 2. This line always punches me in the gut because from the same point of view that has Vader killing Anakin, this is also true: that Obi-Wan died with the rest of the Jedi, and that Ben took his place, sad and alone and careful and tired.

"...he scanned the rapidly darkening horizons for something small, metallic, three-legged, and out of its mechanical mind." Hey, you leave R2 alone, he's seen some Shit (tm). He’s allowed to be a lil crazy.

wtf tusken raiders are cyborgs? Wtf. Who knew.

"As [the raiders] traded vociferous opinions in a language consisting mostly of consonants..." idk I love this sentence look how absurd it is I LOVE IT

“[Each Bantha] was as large as a small dinosaur.” damn George, back at it again with those David Charleston metaphors.

“urged on by their anxious, equally outrageous mahouts.” There’s a lot going on here. One, the use of the word mahouts. Two, that George is calling the sandpeople and their banthas outrageous. Third, the use of the word mahouts.

Threepio calling Leia's hologram "melodramatic" like please...you're one to talk, buster.

survival school is a thing on Tatooine idk why I'm surprised. More amused really, tbh.

OMG LUKE BBY NO YOU CAN'T JUST FAINT IN FRONT OF THE TUSKEN PLS CHILD. Remember your survival school training that you had, come on kiddo. The raider didn't even hit him, he just keeled over. Like...pls son. Pls.

“A lost breeze idled absently down the canyon. Far off to the west, something howled. A rolling, booming drone ricocheted off canyon walls and crawled nervously up and down a gorgon scale.” Here he is, the love of my life, making the most DRAMATIC entrance POSSIBLE.

"It was tall but hardly monstrous." Well, I’m glad Obi-Wan isn’t monstrous, that’s nice to be assured of.

"Hints of extreme climates other than desert, of ultimate cold and humidity, were etched into that seemed face.” Alright, y’all can stop complaining that he looked “””too old””” in comparison to Bail Organa in Rogue One, this boy has been through Some Shit (tm) while Bail was busy Senatoring comfortably, so listen. 

“A questing beak of nose, like a high rock, protruded outward from a flash-flood of wrinkles and scars. The eyes bordering it were a liquid crystal-azure. The man smiled through sand and dust and beard, squinting at the sight of [Luke].” I cannot believe. I love him so much. I love that he has a giant Merriman nose and a Belgarath beard. I love him. I love him so much.

Artoo "conveniently forgetting" he also was scared by the roaring pls child.

"A smile of perverse youthfulness split that collage of wrinkled skin and beard." I love that every smile so far has been "boyish" or young in some way because he's not a fucking old as balls dude, right? He's like...50? But weather happened and he looks ancient but he's not he's wonderful listen, I love him.

"can't seem to remember owning a droid" what did R4 do to you, Obi-wan, that you so easily forgot him? Heheh. Also, just like...no one wiped Artoo's memory, shouldn't he know Obi-wan? Or be able to tell him "yo you gave me to Bail after Anakin self-destructed what up old buddy"? And tbh, you'd think Obi-wan would remember such a vital friend and droid as Artoo. @Lucas, sort this out.

Unless he's just pretending not to remember because he doesn't want Luke knowing?

Its a fucking dragon call Obi-wan PLS “It’s not too hard. Just takes the right attitude, a set of well-used vocal chords, and a lot of wind. Now, if you were an imperial bureaucrat, I could teach you right off.” OBI-WAN PLS CALM YOUR SASS I CANNOT HANDLE THIS?? I LOVE HIM SO MUCH?? HELP ME?

Luke is disappointed in 3PO because he's "defeatist" bby good luck curing him of that programming...

"I regret that I am unable to present my father's request to you in person. My mission to meet personally has failed." Thanks for telling us twice,  Lucas. God, he needs a good editor.

"Do no fail us, Obi-wan Kenobi. Do not fail me." Wow okay, that's a little demanding there, Leia, it's not like you know each other well? Was this to get across the commanding 'princess' part of the character?

Though I will say her confidence that the Empire would capture her but get nothing out of her is amazing and painful, like, she KNOWS they are going to torture her, she KNOWS and she's not scared. She's just...going to handle it. Because she needs to. And that's. ..so much.

"You fought in the Clone Wars!? But that was so long ago!" "Um, yes," Kenobi acknowledged [...] "I guess it was a while back." THIS JOKER PLS like Luke just called him old as balls and he's like "yeah sure buddy" god I love him

"What's a duck?" GOOD LORD, SMOL DESERT SON, PLS.

Lucas is really down on this...the Emperor was corrupted not the corrupting force. Which is weird, like....everyone knows the emperor is evil this was never in question at any point in any of the movies...

Oh no, never mind, I read that wrong. To help the corrupt emperor not to help corrupt the emperor, my bad. Okay but still.

"Early man suspected its existence, yet remained in ignorance of its potential for millennia.” Okay, but if you think about us, the present, as ‘early man’ that's making it sound like this is future fantasy which is hilarious to me because “a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away.”

"The old man suppressed a smile, aware that Luke’s destiny had already been determined for him. [...] Likely it had finalized even before the boy was born. Not that Ben believed in predestination, but he did believe in heredity--and in the Force.” I mean. Is it destiny then, or is it you, Obi-wan? You’re the one guiding him onto this path, does that not make it partially your fault?

OH MY FUCKING GOD LUKE JUST... OKAY. GUYS. I THOUGHT THIS WAS JUST A REALLY INCONGRUOUS PAGE BREAK/SCENE CHANGE, BUT WE GO FROM OBI-WAN TELLING LUKE THAT HE MUST DO WHAT HE FEELS RIGHT AND LUKE GOING “Right now I don’t feel too good...” TO LEIA GETTING FUCKING TORTURED BY VADER IN HER PRISON CELL. PLS.

TELL ME AGAIN THESE TWIN BABIES DON’T HAVE A FUCKING FORCE CONNECTION FUCK

"The metal door which began moving aside was as thick as her body--as if, she mused bitterly, they were afraid she might break through anything less massive with her bare hands." Pls, Leia, they have a right to worry about that. You are Strong.

"gliding smoothly, as if on treads" space heelys #confirmed for Vader