#thank you for letting me play with him necro!! :D :D D:

[elliewiltarwyn]

For #ffxivswap I was given @necro-man-sir's gorgeous viera Vrev to play around with in gpose, and I'm very sorry but when you got me you got the girl with the "darkside clone" brainworms, so when I get two Anamnesis .chara files and one of them is vaguely darkside themed I go "porque no los dos" and use 'em both :D and legit, day-job-apothecary Vrev and combat-ready reaper Vrev are such a cool contrast to me :3 I hope you like them, necro!!

and many thanks to @sasslett and @ainyan for organizing the swap, free them from tumblr jail you jerks

[archesa]

have 2, 17, 28, and a free space from the gw2 asks! :D (i feel like i've missed a couple instances of you reblogging ask games recently, though i could be making that up alsjkdfadf, but i caught this one! xD) @kerra-and-company

 Oooooh! These call for pics and long answers 😁

Thanks so much for these! 🥰

2. fave profession :

I got to say Guardian because I have a long history of playing paladins and valiant knights on several games (*cough* 12 years of WOW *cough* ) and I absolutely adore Anwen but, I've been playing a lot on my Necro lately and Æthnen has become my first character to go to if I want to chill, do map exploration or even meta events. I play him as a Reaper but rarely use the greatsword 😅 I feel like Trahearne would not have gone anywhere this kind of weapons of not for Caladbolg 😅 and since, for now, it's Anwen who weilds it...🌹

17. Your glider? (if you don’t have one, the one you want the most)

I got a few actually ^^' Elianora, both Anwens, Æthnen and Galaëd all have their own, personal glider that I wouldn't use on any other character no matter how much I love the skins, they're theirs!

Eli shifts between the Fox Spirit Glider, which fits her personality and is a little nod to her mini (you guessed! a fox!) and the Elemental Fury Glider.

Anwen Evergreen has the Crystalline Dragon Wings since (at least - jury’s still out regarding Anwen’s becoming as a dragon champion) Aurene's ascension.

Her elementalist counterpart, Anwen Swynwr has the Spellforged Glider (that her Guardian-self had before she used the crystalline wings)

Galaëd has the Lunar backpack and assorted glider! The funny part is, for other characters I chose the glider based on their story / personality. For Galaëd it was the other way ‘round. I got the Lunar backpack in a Black Lion chest, so I decided he loved fireflies and stars. From there @lilypixy pointed the connection with the Moon Shield, Canach being its current bearer, and bam! Two sylvari who thought they had found what the dream had showed them only to have their whole perspective shifted (Galaëd with the Green Knight, Canach with the Moon Shield).

And last but not least, Æthnen (aka my Trahearne clone for the two in the back 😁) has been very much nurtured back to health by the Exalted after the campaign of Maguuma, and as such he has the Exalted Glider (complete with Luminate’s Backplate Exalted Shoulders and Auric Weapons)

Avalwyn (my other Trahearne clone, yup I got two of them, don’t rub me the wrong way or I’ll show you my third! 😅) aka Druid!Hearne also has the Fox Spirit one, as a little nod to his Fernhound Caliborn.

28. What is your favorite legendary weapon?

I loved collecting stuff for Kudzu! I still have to upgrade the precursor to its actual Legendary form but I had a great time collecting the seeds for it! It tingled my herbalist sense nicely and fitted quite well in Anwen's themes and story!

And of course, since I'm an eenie-meanie I just have to collect Mordremoth's weapons for Æthnen ! I'll probably go with the staff but if @lilypixy 's conjecture is right and next Necro elite spec has the hammer as its weapon I will full on embrace it and give Trahearne a very nice not at all corrupted by any dragon what are you on about hammer!

Let Trahearne smash things with a hammer! He deserves it!

Mordremoth, dead, somewhere in the Mists, with its siblings : I gave my Champion my weapons! Look how stylish he is!

Kralk, being the only lucid one in their brood, probably : Fucked up a perfectly good scion is what you did! Look at him, he’s got anxiety!

Edit : I forgot the free space! I used a random number generator and got 37, so...

37. Your favorite HoT event?

I have to say the Octovine! Yeah of course it's extremely infuriating when you get slackers and auto attackers but if run right it's so very satisfying! The loot is sweet and even the 'Event failed' cutscene is heartbreaking!

Apart from that I would say the first event from the Pale Reavers outpost, in Verdant Brink! That was the moment I truly felt the weight of the mantle of Commander (and I loved it 😅🤣), when you make a stand atop that cliff with the wreckage of the fleet still burning on the horizon and the mordrem swarming below — especially when Laranthir's so relieved and happy to see you!

[fireflower-dusk]

D&D and Pride: A Player Story

I have four players in my D&D game-We’ll call them J, K, C, and S. Three of them are long-time players, coming in at around eight months, but C is...different.

I first met him in school, when he came up to me and asked if I was the one running the D&D group. I said yes, and he asked if he could create a character. I said yes, and after school, we met in the Lunchroom to make his character. 

This is where I remembered why I didn’t hang out with him before. All his friends came barrelling in loudly, calling him a ‘Milf’ for talking to me (If Simp had been a word back then they would have used it too) and just generally teasing him. And not the kind of teasing you just pretend to hate, no. He was just trying to make a character, and they ended up pulling him away. THis got me concerned-those people played D&D too, yes, but they weren’t affiliated with the official D&D group for several reasons-one being that one of them made a Paladin of the KKK.

But I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I let him play a Human necromancer in my campaign, and I told him ahead of time, most of the PCs and NPCS you’ll met are not Cishet. He said that’s fine, he didn’t care about that..

The first session rolled around, and said Necromancer...clashed with the party. They were reckless and just didn’t fit in. So after the party, I told him as such (Politely, of course), and he said that he would tweak it. 

And he did. The next session Mister Necro fight right in, gaining the trust of and beoming friends with the Warforged Paladin (R.I.P. Faithful). He was respectful, suprisingly, both player and PC-the first time he said ‘R/tarded’ in front of me, I asked him to stop and explained my reasons, and he conciously made an effort to say ‘stupid’ instead. He shipped characters we did, even though most of them were M/M or F/F pairings. 

I was talking to him a few months later, and realized that I didn’t know what Necro’s sexuaity was. I assumed he was Cis, but Het...?

And so I asked. And C said he hadn;t thought about it, but he had an answer.

Pan.

This? SHOOCKED me. In an odd way, it felt like character development, going from the horrible group of friends to making a mlm character. I was proud, but as the mom friend that didn’t suprise me. Necro was pan-that was great.

And so that brings us to Today, June 1st, 2020. I went on our D&D Discord server to find they had screenshoted a message about pr/defall-You know the one-and captioned it to the effect of ‘I loooked into this, it’s real, stay safe everyone.’ Even though he may be cis, that’s an ally right there. 

So thanks, C, for proving not everyone is like who they hang out with. 

Happy Pride. 

[rex101111]

Character concept: Aria/Justice

because I can’t get it out of my head here’s some scattered nonsense of ideas that I would like to see if Aria becomes a playable character again in the next Guilty Gear :D just like, a bunch of stuff thrown at the wall because I want these out so they won’t bother me in my head so here you go!

Intro: Shot of a hand holding a remote with a prominent red button on it, the thumb presses down on the button. Camera pans up to see a shine in the sky, followed by a huge shadow dropping swiftly down. Cut to a side view of Aria with her hands crossed as the shadow stops in front of her, a lightly altered recreation of the Gear Justice. She looks aside, at the camera and her opponent, says her opening line, before the suit opens up and she jumps inside. The suit closes around her as lights turn on all at once and the Gear, Aria, turns to her opponent with clenched claws.

opening line ideas:

Sol: “Fredrick, I want to test this thing out, don’t hold back like last time.”

“Don’t give me that look, I know you’re itching for another go.”

“I get antsy too you know, research gets boring sometimes.”

“No, I’m not mad. I am still going to beat you up though, it’s the principle of the matter.”

Dizzy: “Alright, now take a deep breath, and don’t hold back.”

“I know you don’t like fighting, but keeping your skills sharp is important.”

“You can do better then that, I know you can, I’ll drag it out of you if I need to.”

“You can’t hurt me dear, so let Necro have some fun this time, eh?”

Ky: “I need to know for certain if you can stand by her side, your majesty, so get ready.”

“A mother-in-law’s advice is healthy for any marriage, now pay close attention.”

“You never did fight Justice did you? Now’s your chance.”

“Dizzy gets a lot from me; my looks, my eyes, and my fire power.”

Baiken: “Take your anger, your pain, your hatred, and fight me!”

“I remember the feel of your blade against my armor, this time don’t miss.”

“This is your revenge, come and take it!”

“Guilt isn’t weighing me down, but I won’t sit by and let you wallow.”

Generic: “Don’t worry, this won’t hurt you, just think of it as an intense work out.”

“I installed a few new tricks into this baby, keep your guard up!”

“This isn’t the real deal, but it will be more then enough to handle you.”

Instant Kill: Aria lunches out a sort of tether to trap the opponent in place, fires a barrage of lasers, and then charges her Gammy Ray. She charges it up until the glow of it reaches the sky, and then flies towards her target to fire it, at point blank range. DESTROYED. Open to a large canyon in front of the suit, stretching out into the horizon. The suit opens and out comes Aria, grimly satisfied and the wind whipping her hair around while she says her winning line. Aria WIN!

“Asuka really went for overkill with this, didn’t he?”

“And that, is how you win a battle, even if you lose a war.”

“Most strategies fall apart when faced with overwhelming force, bigger stick always wins.”

“It may be a pale imitation, a reproduction, but this lady still packs a mean punch doesn’t she?”

Normal Victory Pose: The suits opens to let Aria step out before kneeling behind her, she leans back to sit, not at all elegantly, on it’s head with a weary sigh, reaches into her pocket to pull out a lollipop with a kind smile as she says her line before she starts eating it. Aria WIN! 

“Yikes, did I overdo it again? Sorry about that.”

“The thrusters still need tuning up, thanks for running around so much that I noticed.”

“You did well back there! A little more practice and I’ll have to work for it next time.”

“Next time, when you think of picking a fight with a laser shooting robot, don’t.”

End match quotes (AKA where I completely indulge in my HCs about Aria post Rev2):

Sol: “Hey Fredrick, remember that time I challenged you and Asuka to an arm wrestling competition? You two complained about sore wrists for weeks! *short chuckle*...brings back memories. doesn’t it?...”

Dizzy: “Very good Dizzy! Literally ever single reader and scanner on this thing burst and broke during that fight! W-wait no don’t look worried! That’s a good thing! I’m proud of you, really.”

Ky: “If I’m being honest, I really don’t get what Dizzy sees in you. Not that I’m questioning her choices, God forbid! You’re just not my type at all, bit too straight laced...though, that short hair look does suit you better, very handsome.”

Leo: “You make an odd King, Leo. But not a bad one at all! Sure, Ky may be more popular among the public, and the press love him more, and he tends to lead things more confidently and thoroughly, but you-you....Leo? Why are you sulking?”

Sin: “Well, deal’s a deal. I beat you so now you need to go back and finish your homework young man. Now don’t frown like that, only kids do that. Tell you what, finish your work quickly, and me and Fredrick’ll treat you to a big dinner, deal?”

Ramlethel: “Excellent work Ram, you’re improving very quickly! You and Sin train hard don’t you? Just try not to overindulge on those burgers after your sessions alright? Gear Biology or no those things are bad for you.”

Elphelt: “El, sweetheart, I know you have your style and all, but is the wedding dress still necessary? A place to hid your weapons sure but doesn’t it get in the way?...was I ever like that? God I hope not..oh! Nothing it’s nothing!”

Slayer: “Every single reader is either broken or glitching on me, armor cracked to hell, engine damn near exploded, exhausted my fuel and my ammunition...and here you are, lounging like it’s a holiday...what are you exactly...?” 

Potemkin: “Well! Zepp technology is certainly...hardy! Nearly overloaded my canons on you! Took me by surprise there...”

Chipp: “You really need to stop playing this silly ninja game of yours and sit down. Politics is boring as dirt but if you call yourself a president that’s your job...*sigh* I pity your secretary, truly.”

Faust: “Sorry about that...outburst, I kind of have this thing with medical procedures and needles and...well, I’m sure you understand, Doctor.”

Jam: “God it’s been ages since I had proper Chinese food, how’s your general Tsao?...why are you giving me that dirty look? Did I say something wrong?” 

May: “You pack a wallop don’t you? I thought that anchor was a toy at first but your swinging that cast iron like it’s nothing! Maybe train with someone who can teach you how to use it more directly? Who knows what kind of damage you could do...”

Zato: “...according to my scanners you don’t have a pulse...did that vampire have something to do with it? Either way, stay away from me, no offence but that shadow of yours is creepy, and coming from me that says something.”

Millia: “There are no chains on you dear, nothing holding you down and no one holding you back. Your freedom is right there, all you have to do is reach for it with both hands.”

Venom: “...you know, you remind me of this baker in downtown Ilyria, he’s a genius with bread and sugar, honestly incredible. I hope his business is doing well, I don’t know if I could make it through the day without one of his cinnamon buns.”

Baiken: “Get up. I know this isn’t all your anger, get up! Gather more hatred and fight me! Pour every ounce of pain you have into your blade and let it out! Get up! I won’t stop until you can live again, until you can let go before you tear yourself to pieces...get. Up.”

Anji Mito: “Now. You are going to behave, sit there, and tell the truth for once. Mind you this suit has a heartbeat monitor so I’ll know if you try to pull a fast one. Now, question one, what do you know?”

I-no: “...sorry for causing you so much trouble as Jack-O, my excitement kind of got away from me. Thanks for putting up with it.”

Raven: “I never did thank you for that wound you healed, did I? Of course I remember, who forgets a friend in this day and age?” 

Extra stuff/Headcannons:

* She’s like mature Jack-O personality wise, though with a rather wry sense of humor. Pokes fun at Sol every chance she gets (only calls him Fredrick, or Freddie if she wants to troll him), but always with a hint of affection. Sometimes blanks out or has her mind wonder off.

* Worked closely with Paradigm to build the suit, though she did most of the heavy work herself. Used schematics from a few of Asuka’s old hideouts and accounts from the Crusades while adding her own spin on the design. No...crotch spike. Constantly improving it and tweaking it whenever she has the time. 

* Nags Ky like a proper mother-in-law mostly just for the sake of poking fun, she trusts him with Dizzy. Wants to make up for lost time with Dizzy, though she knows she can only go so far with her being about a decade late to be a mom.

* Treats the Valentine sisters like, well, sisters almost. Little sisters. Spoils Sin rotten whenever his parents aren’t paying attention. Had a 10 hour long training session with him after he called her “grandma” once. 

* Feels a little guilty about Japan. Doesn’t exactly blame herself entirely, but she still feels some responsibility to fix some of the damage. Baiken makes that guilt double in her gut, wants her to move on because she has a vague memory of Baiken fighting Justice and failing miserably. 

* Has an odd, vague mix of memories from both Jack-O and Justice, she can just manage to keep up and make sense of them, but both at once has her needing to sit down and clutch her head because ow migraines. Also pretty much remembers everything from before she died the first time.

* Wants to punch Asuka in the nose. Also to say she forgives him and she gets why he did what he did, but first she needs to break his nose because seriously Asuka the fuck.

* Her theme would probably be some mix between “Meet Again” (Justice theme) and “Juno” (Jack-O theme), with maybe the “Diva” riff thrown in there for flavor. Slightly manic rock mix but ultimately in control and, near the end, happy. Song title would be something like “Together Again” or “Hera” (Juno’s Greek name) 

[yeahwesaidthat]

TWWS: The Best of D&D

Ladiiiiiiiies and gentlemeeeeeeeeeeen! Welcome to the ultimate showdown: THE BEST OF D&D!

This post contains the best of the best of the D&D/RPG posts over the years of TWWS, all the way from the beginning. At the end of the post, there will be a link to a survey where you can vote for your favourites in each category (other/3.5e, 4e, and 5e) and nominate MVPs for each category. If the person you want to vote MVP has only been referenced as “Player,” just note down what quote they’re responsible for. A week from today (or until enough of you fill out the survey), Round 2 of the competition begins.

Everybody roll for initiative!

Overheard During Other RPGs

During Hackmaster, about a bottle label: SB: “It says ‘Thou shalt not question the DM over inane shit!’”

Overheard During D&D 3.5e

Unarmed damage?: MM: “It’s the difference between a slap and a bitch-slap.”

So wrong it's right: MM (IC): “I like your spunk.” KH (OOC): “So does [gay player].”

Rogue equipment: KB (IC): “I need [boots] that are…soft-sounding.” MM (IC): “We have socks.”

Describing a character: SO: “She is built like a brick shithouse.” DM: “She shits brick houses.” Bubbles: “She makes brick houses shit bricks.”

When the party has two rogues: KH (IC): “I can find it!” KB (IC): “I can find it better.”

RD (IC): “[Wizard], if you do not stop right now, I will arrest you for terminal stupidity, and I can assure you, I will find a law against it!”

A discount on services rendered: SO: “What’s 75% off of ‘I run and do whatever you ask without question’?”

Calling for divine help in very specific situations: MM: “Please state your current medical emergency.” KB: “Head-splosion.” SO: “If you have been stabbed, press one. If you are currently being stabbed, press two.” MM: “If your head’s detonated and you’ve launched into a wall, press three.” RD: “Why did you press three? We never expected anyone to press three!” SO: “We don’t know what to do in this medical emergency! Please dial again!”

IO: “[Wizard] is going to say - ” KB: “Can I tell you why this is a bad idea?” IO: “No.”

Proper procedure when everything goes to hell: RD: “[Cleric] goes outside and makes a magic circle, sits in it, and cries.”

KH (IC): “That stupid fucking son of a flea-ridden bitch cunt wizard - ” MM (IC): “Oh, him.”

How to pray to the god Ao: KB, KH, and MM: “I throw my hands up in the air sometimes sayin’ heeeeey-oh! I worship Aaaaaaa-o!” Bubbles: “[The wizard’s] gaaaaaaaay-o!"

Overheard During D&D 4e

SIDE NOTE: A Quiplash commentary on D&D 4e: A more environment-friendly alternative to toilet paper - 4th ed character sheets

What we think we saw - again?: Player: “If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and weighs the same as a duck, it must be a witch.” KH: “It’s a witch.” RJ: “Build a bridge out of 'er!”

Healing needed: Player: “I have a mess kit, will that help?” WS: “Only if you want to make a mess.”

Captain: “Neverwinter ho!” Dwarf: “Hos? Where?”

SB: “Eventually you end up at the most popular stall in the market.” Player: “Porn?”

About attacking a character that may or may not be good: SB: “Wait, what’s your alignment?” Player: “Lawful Paranoid.”

Taunting the kraken: Player: “Your tentacles are so short even an anime girl wouldn’t take 'em!”

Questioning the legitimacy of an NPC: SB (IC as Priest): “I have a degree in polytheism from the University of Phoenix Online!”

Making sure it’s really dead: SB: "You kick the head and it goes sailing through the open door of the tomb. You hear a voice in the darkness go ’Gooooooooal!’”

Killing the undead: SB: “Congratulations, you choked something to death that doesn’t breathe.”

Mass undead murder: Player: “We made a ghoul-ash. An evil gumbo, really.”

Architecture: Player: “I like big buttresses and I cannot lie.”

Interesting kills: SB: “You decapitated him with a bludgeoning weapon.”

About flying books: Player 1: “The window opens in! How do they fly out?” Player 2: “They’re paperbacks."

Player: “Thank God I decided to engage the dragon in melee.” MW: “You’ll never hear that in any other D&D campaign ever again.”

Player: “Is the food still on the table?” Three Of Us: “DON’T EAT IT!!!”

Overheard During D&D 5e

Annoying Teen: (about his character) “Would he still hate me?” AD: (not about his character) “I think everyone hates you.”

Don’t mess with a dire bear: JI: “There’s one inside who attacks the bear…" (rolls) "...and misses horribly ‘cause he shits his pants.”

JI: “He doesn’t have 100 hit points. He has 95.”

Demonic insight: KH: “I say in Infernal, ‘Peace! We mean you no harm!’” JI: “There’s no word in Infernal for ‘peace.’” Retroactive Edit: Demons actually speak Abyssal. Devils speak Infernal.

Animal form disadvantages: AD: “I’m going to bite [the zombie].” Everyone Else: (mass noise of disgust)

JI: “You feel a pinch in your mind as if she’s flipping through your yellow pages.” AD: “That’s got to be a euphemism for something.” ST: “Oh, yeah, baby, turn my yellow pages.” JB: “Turn to ‘F’ for fun.”

What happens in every religious venue in every D&D campaign ever: JB: “Here is the church, here is the steeple,” KH: “Open the door, and here are the zombies.”

KH: “Did you sneak off to her house in the middle of the night?” ST: “Does that sound like something I would do?” KH, AD, and CD: “Yes.”

JI: “You guys came in here - ” AD: “ - like a wrecking ball - ”

Post-adventure considerations: KH: “[Rogue] wouldn’t know what to do with her life.” AD: “She can bail herself out of jail.”

Switching to melee for a change: CD: “Let’s see if this ‘offense’ thing you do all the time really works.” (rolls a critical hit)

The logistics of being swallowed by a sea monster: ST: “Am I going to take damage if I move further along his digestive tract?”

EC: “If you had leprosy and your ears fell off would you be a deaf leper?”

Identifying mysterious cults: KH: “What’s the Cult of Howling Hatred?” EC: “The Westboro Baptist Church, obviously.”

DR: “Apparently your god has personally intervened due to your badassery.”

A Mass Effect cameo on a dexterity check for dancing: EC: “If you roll a one, you dance like Shepard.”

EC (IC): “So what you’re saying is that it’s very dangerous and we shouldn’t go in. I’ll take point.”

Things to worry about in combat: KH: “You don’t have enough hit points to take it like a man, honey.”

The ends justify the means?: Bubbles: “Did you have fun role-playing an interrogation?” DR: “You guys are fucked up.”

KH: “How do you stun-lock a Terrasque?!?” JB: “Fourth Edition.”

ST: “Do we have to kill them before we eat? I hate murdering on an empty stomach.”

About a revenant and a possible lover: EC: “Well the beast is committing necrophilia and the necro is committing bestiality…” DR: “What happens in Faerun, et cetera.”

Rolling high on a seduction check: DR: “Frankly, I didn’t think you’d go down this road.” KH: “Oh, I went down all right.”

More on the seduction roll: Bubbles: “Try to convince her to come with us. The way she came with you last night.”

About a nonviolent kua-toa: Player: “He’s a paci-fish.”

About dealing with face-hugging enemies: CD: “You swung at yourself and missed?” AD: “I swung at myself and missed.”

ST (IC): “I’ll be staying in the boat unless you have need of my specific skills.” CD (OOC): “Dying first is not a skill.”

About cultists: DM (IC): “They are water people. Maybe they’re just going with the flow.”

About a minotaur who keeps missing: DM: “At least when you put a bull in a china shop he’ll break shit.”

About bottles of brandy: EC: “I have two questions: how many of them are there and how many of them can I carry?”

Ideas so bad they’re good: KH: “We’re gonna blow up the temple with the distillery.” F: “The temple, the lich, half the plot…”

About going forward: KH: “Against our better judgment.” DM: “What better judgment?” KH: “Good point.”

About shooting arrows: KH: “'Nock’ yourself out.”

About using a lot of magic: JS: “We’re blowing a big load here right now.”

JS: “You wanna go up the shaft?” ST and T: “That’s what he said.”

About flirting with an efreet: JI: “Below her waist is a trailing cloud of black smoke, so you’re not getting anything.”

Questioning the guardian imp: Player (IC): “What happens if someone disturbs the sarcophagus before your time is up?” WS (IC): “There’ll be six more weeks of winter.”

MR (IC): “Trying to undercut me on my quest to restore my former glory?” KH (IC): “You have no glory to restore.” Other Players: “Oooooooh!” SW: “Quick, someone cast heal!”

When talking with a spirit: MR (IC): “You can’t just ask someone if they’re dead! That’s incredibly rude! The correct term is ‘mortally challenged’!”

After a petrifying encounter with some basilisks: BC: “I always thought she was stone-hearted.” KT: “I dunno, I thought she rocked.” JS: “I am going to kill all of you.”

What to do with windmills: KH: “If we had a lance, we could go tilting.” MR: “Cavalier idea.”

Quest priorities: Player 1: “No one’s going to pay us to do it right now. It’s not worth the attention.”

JF: “Roll to see if you hit me by accident.” KH: “Oh, I’d hit you on purpose.”

K’s paladin chastising A’s paladin about her sex habits: A (IC): “I thought you were the paladin of joy!” K (IC): “Not that kind of joy!”

About a previous edition of D&D: KH: “[What] the hell couldn’t you do in 3.5?” SW: “Win.”

KH: “Technically you’re underage.” ST: “That’s never stopped me before.” AD: “You or your character?” ST: “Do I have to answer that?”

D: “We’re gonna make the Underdark great again!” ST: “We’re gonna build a wall - a really big wall in the Underdark, and we’re gonna make the gnomes pay for it.” A: “We pay for everything already! Screw you!”

About a character who caught fire: T: “He’s not rolling initiative; he’s rolling on the ground.”

T (IC): “Let’s go before the men’s egos get us killed.”

JB (IC): “My god believes in good opportunities. Not dying is a good opportunity.”

Passing on some bad news: JI (IC): “[Chief] not sick!” AD (IC): “He was when we were done with him.”

To a healer: KH (IC): “I don’t suppose you have a cure for the common cold?” JI (IC): “I’m not a miracle worker.”

Reassuring a woman scorned: AA (IC): “Go tell her - all men dogs.” JI (OOC): “Says the cat.”

To the tune of “Like a G6”: ST and KH: “Roll a d6, roll a d6!”

KH: “Of course it’s always about dirty sex - I’m a bard!” AD: “The hell are you two talking about down there?!”

To a mindflayer, about a stupid character: KH (IC): “I’d offer you his brain to eat, but I don’t think he has one.” JS (IC as mindflayer): “I don’t eat junk food.”

MGW: “It’s Tza…Zsa…his name is Jasper.”

Saying goodbye to the barkeep: MR (IC): “I’ll be back visiting the northern parts soon.” KH (OOC): “And then you can visit her southern parts.”

About a questionable NPC: ST (IC): “I would never dream of hurting you!” KH (IC): “I would.”

About prison visitations: JB (IC): “How often is it that a [gypsy] walks in here voluntarily?”

Failing a romance/persuasion check: AA: “Ooh, she cast Zone of Friend!”

Preparing for a swamp adventure: CD: “I want to buy some insect repellant.” AD: “What, your personality doesn’t drive them away?”

About a magic boat: JB (IC): “I saw it grow!” ST (IC): “Are you sure you didn’t rub it? That sometimes happens with wood.” JB (IC): “You would know.” ST (IC): “You wouldn’t.” JB (IC): “Tell that to my two children.”

About an injured drow: MGW (IC): “Look at that poor girl! She has a black eye! You can’t see it, ‘cause her skin is black, but still!”

Last-minute aliases: RD (IC): “Unfortunately, no, my name is Dick Ballsenshaft.”

To a half-orc and Sir Bearington, regarding weirdness: MGW (IC): “…but for me to assume you’re in a loving relationship with a talking bear is where we draw the line?!”

Wisdom for stealing magic items: KC: “Anything that glows goes.”

About fleeing: RD: “I’m going to run like an Amazon employee during the holidays.”

MGW: “You were doing so well until everybody died.” JF: “D&D in a summary.”

Once more about fleeing: RD: “A smart man knows when to run like a little bitch.” J: “Why do you think that’s the first thing I did?”

Recapping the previous session: A: “There was a shitshow, but we got away with it.” S: “So the usual, then.”

About creature size: MR: “Is an ettin large or huge?” MGW: “I think he’s just large.” A: “He’s probably large but pretends he’s huge.” AS: “Typical guy.”

When a pervy character is disgusted by a perv: RD: “Dear Kettle, I have an issue with your current hue. Signed, the Pot.”

A: “He told us to send a message.” KH: “A sword in the stomach is a message.” SW: “The Lannisters send their regards.”

The pervy paladin: A: “I used Lay On Hands. I healed him.” KH: “Yeah, but where did you lay your hands?” MGW: “Wherever she wanted.”

About our tactics: SW: “We put the 'fun’ in 'dysfunctional.’”

About possible activities: MGW (IC): “I know you’re a tiefling, but we’re all the same color in the dark, right?”

Interesting weapon material: MGW: “You all take a moment of reflective silence.” JB: “Nah, I’m just cleaning my bone.” KH: “Technically that’s a moment of reflective silence.” KC: “Not if you’ve seen the barbarian do it.”

Scrying like bad cell reception: KH: “Switch to AD&D.” JB: “Can you scry me now?”

About the taste of human: SW: “You would know.” A: “Nah, I don’t swallow.” MR: “This conversation is making me uncomfortable.”

Wrestling prep: MR (IC): “I want a good, clean fight.” A (IC): “No we don’t.” JB (IC): “What’s a clean fight?” A (IC): “It means you have to take a bath first.” JB (IC): “What’s a bath?”

MGW: “There’s a bridge that looks like it may have collapsed at some point.” JB: “Is it a-bridged?”

Beautiful references (read in Rorschach’s voice): AA: “I’m not grappled with YOU,” ST, AA, and KH: “YOU’RE grappled with ME!”

About remaining spells: KH: “I have three 1st-level slots and one 2nd-level slot.” CD: “Those are 'keeping people alive’ slots.”

Dealing with extra-limbed gorillas: ST: “Uh-oh! They must have been forewarned!” AD: “What makes you say that?” ST: “Forewarned is four-armed.” AD: -_-

Negotiation skills: AD: “It’s just me trying to bullshit him.” JI: “Why don’t you make a bullshit check?”

Trying to figure out if the staff is necromantic: CD: “We could kill a mouse in front of the staff. We could kill a mouse with the staff. How much is it to buy a mouse?”

JB: “Anyone die while I was gone?” SW: “Not on the outside.”

Wizarding limits: JS: “You may not polymorph your zombies into t-rexes.”

Zombies aren’t too smart: BC (IC): “Bobs, attack the closest gnoll!” Bobs: (run at gnoll party member) KH (OOC): “Et tu, Bob?” JS (OOC): “If this doesn’t belong in your blog, I dunno what does.”

Far too relatable: JS: “Twenty psychic damage.” BC: “I’ve taken more psychic damage from my mother.”

Worst-laid plans: KH (IC): “I have a very bad feeling about this.” MR (IC): “You should.”

Our go-to combat tactic: MR: “Are we going to stupid the guy to death?”

Zing!: MGW (IC): “If you join me, I can make you the greatest dwarf who ever lived.” TP (IC): “I am the greatest dwarf who ever lived.” Whole Table (OOC): “Ooooohhhhh!!!”

Another verbal duel with a sea god/character class limitations: KH: “I would say 'what is a god to a nonbeliever,’ but I’m a cleric.”

Activating the mysterious device: BC (IC): “We did it! I wonder what we did?”

Business as usual: KH: “This seems like a bad idea, but go ahead.”

Old adages: MR: “No plan survives contact with the enemy.” (IC) “But then, no enemy has survived contact with us!” (OOC) “Was that quote-worthy?” KH: “Yes.”

KC: “She can ride me. I don’t care.” KH: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) KC: “…I’M A BEAR IN ARMOR.”

Advantageous druidic inanity: KC: “Are you still riding the flying bear?” MR: “It’s flying now?” KC: “Yeah, he flew up to unlock the door.” AS: “…So he’s a flying bear with armor…”

Spell modifications for humourous purposes: MR: “Using a Dex[terity] save for Zone of Truth means they’re literally dodging the question.”

About a wild, crazy, out-of-left-field hypothesis: RD (IC): “I figured if you pulled something that big our of your ass there’d be bleeding involved.” MR (IC): “…That’s between me and my proctologist.” SW (OOC): “Did you take fire damage for that? That’s like Taco Bell levels of burn.”

As is per usual: MR: “We may have once again survived this by the skin of bullshit.”

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