#that being said ily canon sirius

[moonlightdancer26]

who do you think would win a fistfight between:

Pomfresh & Severus

Ron & Harry & Hermione

Draco & Pansy

Moody & Greyback

Peter & Luna

Umbridge & Trelawney

Bellatrix & Sirius

Petunia & Narcissa

Slughorn & Flitwick

(hope you have fun with this!)

LMFAOO ILY ANON

Pomfresh & Severus

Idk who Pomfresh is but I’m assuming you mean Pomfrey, if so, Severus would woop her ancient ass.

Ron & Harry & Hermione

(I’m assuming you mean individually)

Harry would probably beat Hermione (saying probably because book!Mione was a menace 💀)

Ron would sweep Hermione off her feet (not like he did in canon tho) and throw her tiny body off the Astronomy tower.

Ron and Harry is a slightly tougher one, but I’m still certain Ron will win. He’s taller and more buff while Harry was generally described as scrawny, and he’s proven to have a lot of physical strength throughout the series. (Mans gave Malfoy a black eye when he was 11)

Draco & Pansy

Draco was definitely taller and stronger, since he, like Harry and Ron, was also a Quidditch player, which requires some strength and a lot of agility. So he’d deffo beat her.

Moody & Greyback

No contest whatsoever 💀💀 Moody was hella old, had an artificial leg, and very.. freakishly built. He was basically just an old man without his wand. However, Greyback, even in his “human” form, looked like a werewolf and had the same claws, teeth, and almost the same amount of strength. He doesn’t even need to use magic to tackle anyone, let alone an old man.

Peter & Luna

ooou, this is a good one. I’d say Peter, he was a rather small man and wasn’t in good shape (bro was a rat for over a decade, I’m surprised he even remembered how to walk), but I think he’d be able to overpower her in a physical fight. He has a metal arm too. She’d be much quicker than him, but I think his throws would be harder. He’d just sit on her tbh.

Umbridge & Trelawney

Omg 😭 this fight would be legendary, that’s for sure. But I think Trelawney would win, she’s probably taller and she’s in much better shape, so I’m assuming she’d win.

Bellatrix & Sirius

That would be such a hot fight 😩 tbh I genuinely don’t know who’d win, but if I had to choose I’d say Sirius.

My reasons are:

He was much more emotional and filled with rage, this could either be very useful or very disadvantageous in a physical fight. If your opponent is calm and collected, there’s a better chance they can make faster and more calculated moves while remaining stealthy. But if your opponent likes to taunt you and is easily distracted, then your anger and recklessness might prove to be useful, as it might catch them off-guard. That’s one of the reasons Molly managed to kill her in the first place, it was a wand-fight, yes, but Bellatrix still proved herself to be too easily-distracted. She likes to laugh and jeer at her opponents, which is a huge disadvantage in fights, most especially physical ones.

Bellatrix probably didn’t even know how to probably fist-fight someone, especially since it was a “filthy Muggle thing.” Wizards, even the non-prejudiced ones, mostly stuck with wand fights, so it would be ridiculous for a witch who thinks anyone who isn’t a pureblood is below her would know about how Muggles fight. She would most likely brush it off as an uncivilised Muggle practice. Sirius, on the other hand, saw learning about Muggle things as a method to rebel against his parents. And considering he and James’s ways of taunting Snape in their schooldays included a shit ton of magical violence (but violence nonetheless), I think it’s safe to say Sirius wasn’t unfamiliar with physical fights.

So I think Sirius would win. I considered this a close one because 1. not much was said about their physical abilities, and their overall abilities, for that matter (apart from their magical talent ofc) 2. they were both approximately the same height 3. they were both in Azkaban for 12 years [if only one of them went to Azkaban and the other lived an extra 12 years of their life being healthy and well-fed then the latter would have a huge advantage].

Petunia & Narcissa

Narcissa a baddie, she’d def win. /j

Ok but seriously, I don’t really know. But I think Petunia might actually win. Narcissa’s taller (and yummier) but, like her sister, she likely didn’t know much about physical fights. Because she was from a pureblood family and believed in pureblood supremacy, so that already gives Tuney an advantage. And even then, we see that Tuney isn’t opposed to physical violence, she legit tried to hit Harry’s head with a frying pan once, so who knows what other messed up shit she’s done to him throughout those 10 years. So, I’d say Tuney might win, but they likely have approximately the same amount of physical strength, which is what makes this fight a rather close one.

Slughorn & Flitwick

If they were to ever get into a fight it would definitely look like this:

that’s all I can say

[lumos-solemn]

Sorted

Summary : Just my imagination of how the Weasley-Potter kids would have sorted! Age Order.

Victoir Weasley : The first Weasley to join after the war wasn't a Gryffindor but a Ravenclaw. Being the first in a while, Victoir was quite nervous though Teddy made her feel better. She wasn't sure which house she wanted but she thought she would be a Gryffindor given her great family background. The hat did waver between the two houses for a while but soon it decided that Victoir's thirst for knowledge definitely overpowers her courage. Being the bookworm she was (encouraged by her Aunt Hermione), Victoir was very happy to be in the house which inhabited people with similar interests as her. As for the Weasleyes, they were excited to welcome a new house member as Arthur said proudly, "Ah..Who doesn't love a little change?"

Lucy Weasley : The first born of Percy Weasley was the second to attend Hogwarts after Victoir and she was as nervous as her cousin. Apparently, Lucy also didn't come out as a Gryffindor instead, she was sorted into Hufflepuff thus the second to break the chain. But it wasn't actually a surprise considering Audrey, Lucy's mother was also a Hufflepuff and also Lucy's calm and kind demeanour to everyone. And like Victoir, She was also welcomed into the family proudly.

Dominique Weasley : Unlike her forerunners, Dominique decided to go with the chain by getting sorted into Gryffindor itself thus being the first of that generation to be sorted into Gryffindor. "Ah...I see the Weasley fieriness.", The sorting hat had told her. It was no surprise to the family considering her fiery nature and rebel behaviour. Like her Dad, she too liked experimenting with fashion and went for what people call 'odd' jobs.

Fred Weasley II : Named after one of the biggest prankster and a truest Gryffindor, the sorting of Fred wasn't surprising at all. The hat was quick to take its decision and didn't even forget to mention, "You might make a good friend to Peeves!", and he did. Fred Weasley was indeed a true Gryffindor.

James Sirius Potter : The sorting of the first Weasley-Potter in the generation was one of the quickest sorting Hogwarts had ever seen. The hat barely touched his head before announcing him as a Gryffindor just like everyone had predicted. Indeed, the hybrid of a Weasley and a Potter, 2 of the greatest Gryffindor families in the whole wizarding world cannot go wrong. Right from the young age, James was in the front row, whether it was mischief or taking risks, he was up for everything. And just like that, James went on to prove the true Gryffindor he is.

Albus Severus Potter : If his brother's was the quickest to sort, his proved to be the one which took the longest. Albus was almost a hatstall, the sorting hat taking 4 minutes to sort him. The hat wavered between Slytherin and Gryffindor and despite Albus's wishes to stay in Gryffindor, the hat decided against it saying he was too ambitious and hard working to be in Gryffindor. Not a big surprise to everybody, but a rather huge one to many, the sorting of Albus Severus was one of the biggest gossip of the town. The middle child of the Chosen One being sorted into Slytherin didn't digest to everyone. Though Albus was not the happiest when the hat announced him Slytherin, he went on to prove a true Slytherin to the lot.

Louis Weasley : Just like his sister, the one Louis looked up to the most, he was sure he is going to be a Gryffindor and just like he wanted, Louis was sorted into Gryffindor joining his sister and cousins. But the hat did put a great thought into putting him in Hufflepuff but Louis was sure he wanted Gryffindor, so the hat went with wish placing in the desired house.

[Note : This is not canon and is only based on how I imagined them to be sorted. Please share if I have left out any other Weasleys in the next gen.]

Rose Weasley : Following Albus, Rose's was the second longest sorting in the family as the hat took 3 min and 49 seconds to sort her wavering between Ravenclaw and Gryffindor. Though Harry and Hermione claimed she will be in the Ravenclaw house, Ron and Ginny and the rest of the Weasleyes thought she would belong in Gryffindor coz Rose resembled her godmother Ginny Potter so much in many ways when young. And at the end, Harry and Hermione had to lose the bet as Rose came out as a Gryffindor.

Roxanne Weasley : Born to two of the truest Gryffindors out there, Roxanne Weasley was indeed a Gryffindor. Be it her playful behaviour and mischievous smile, no one could even doubt her belonging in any other house.

Hugo Weasley : This was one of those cases in which everyone was quite confident about the house. Hugo was, in no doubt, a true Ravenclaw. But the surprise element was, the hat had considered putting him in Hufflepuff. "You would do good in kind Hufflepuff, but you do great in Ravenclaw, the powerful mind you have.", the hat had said.

Lily Potter : Lily Luna Potter was almost a Slytherin. The hat thought she inherited some of the great Slytherin qualities just like her brother but the Gryffindor in her proved to be more strong. Thus, the hat announced her to be in the house of the bravest.

[amorremanet]

Arthur/moody, lucius/moody, lupin/snape?

the brutally honest ship opinions game

Arthur/Moody: ……okay, like, I have basically no positive feelings about Alastor Moody — I mean, I feel the same need to defend him from JKR’s ableist garbage that accidentally got me in too deep with Lockhart, but we are still talking about a guy who supports using Dementors on people and apparently dngaf about what someone’s done, just send ‘em all to fucking Azkaban (GOF ch. 30, the flashback of Moody we see in the first Pensieve scene)

who thinks that the best present you could give to a kid who’s lost his parents and just watched a classmate be murdered…… is going over a photo of the First War Order and telling him about how all of them died horribly and he doesn’t ever stop to think that this might not be the best idea (OOTP)

and who is legitimately less sensitive to other people’s needs and less dismissive of people who aren’t his exact model of “useful” than a literal fucking Death Eater one of the biggest points where Barty Crouch Jr. drops character in GOF is when he takes Neville to his office and gives him a pro-Herbology pep-talk, and goes, “so, hey, Longbottom, Professor Sprout said you’re super-good at this subject, why not pursue it,” because based on the actual canon about him? The real Alastor Moody would never do something like that.

Like, he might have the moment he has with Harry and Hermione, where he goes, “so, hey, both of you could be gr10 aurors if you wanted, you should think about it” because that, from Moody, would be a compliment, and Harry and Hermione more closely fit his own ideas of usefulness, but not so much the Neville moment)

—but seriously, do you hate him or something? Why else would you even dream of shipping him with Arthur Weasley? (okay, fine, I acquiesce that there is enough of a canonical basis for some people to roll with here, and I myself have made ships out of far less…… but seriously, why would you ship anybody with Arthur Weasley. Like…… wow, rude.)

Lucius/Moody: again, I’m not on the Alastor Moody fan-train or anything, but why would you even do this. Nobody deserves to be shipped with Lucius Malfoy, like? He’s not even an entertaining villain, he’s just pathetic. He’s a sad, pathetic fantasy-fascist who gets his kicks by bullying twelve-year-olds and torturing muggles who can’t defend themselves. He’s a complete waste of character space and forcing anyone to be in a ship with him is just unfathomably cruel

Lupin/Snape: meh, whatever. Like, it’s not my thing, but… *shrugs* meh?

Like, idk what you’re looking for here, nonny, but I’m guessing, based on the other two ships, that you’re looking for me to get cranky and ship-bashy and figured that Snu//pin was a good way to get there, since there are a lot of legitimate Problems with this ship in the text

But the thing is, I’m just under 900 years old (at least in fandom terms), and I remember the days back before HBP came out, when Snu//pin was the second-most popular Remus ship (after Wolfstar, to the surprise of no one), and was, in fact, so popular that it had its own private archive and got black-listed from most rarepair comms because it, “wasn’t really rare, just less popular than D//rarry, Wolfstar, Ro//mione, Dra//mione, H//inny, and J//ily”

—I mean, there was a short stretch before OOTP where I tried to make myself like it because there was a BNF whose art I loved, and she shipped Snu//pin, so I felt like I had to be missing something obvious and cool and because I was, like, twelve, I tried to make myself ship the thing. That didn’t work and I eventually just moved on, but one thing that I recall about the Snu//pin fandom that appears to still be more or less true, based on everything I’ve seen of the present-day Snu//pin fandom?

Is that they came out about the same as the Wolfstar fandom, in terms of how many shippers ignored or made excuses for #Problematic things about the ship vs. how many shippers work those things into the overall fabric of how they ship the thing, how many shippers LIKE the ship because of those Problematic parts and having the opportunity to explore them in fiction, how many shippers actively dive head-first into exploring those parts of the ships because that’s where they find the most engaging character interactions or whatever they’re into, etc.

For examples of what I mean when I say #Problematic things about the ships:

the fact that all three of them are self-loathing [human or werewolf] disasters who are often passively suicidal and either prone to acting out on those feelings (Sirius and Severus), or prone to repressing those feelings until they explode all over some innocent bystanders (Remus)

the fact that all three of them have suffered horrific abuse in their pasts — whether from their parents or other sources — and find ways to take it out on other people (Severus on his students, Sirius on Severus and Kreacher, and Remus on almost anyone who tries to get close to him, even as he makes it seem like he isn’t doing that)

Severus outing Remus as a werewolf because he’s upset and felt like punishing someone else for it, thereby leading to Remus tendering his resignation

the fact that Sirius assuming Remus had to be the spy would’ve been at least partially based on anti-werewolf prejudices, and Sirius still clearly had at least some of those prejudices on his own, because even if Peter totally manipulated them in his favor, there had to be something there for Peter to manipulate in the first place, so???

the fact that Remus doesn’t help shit anything, in any situation ever, with his habit of trying to weasel out of any Emotionally Difficult™ conversations and his tendency to mentally spin most situations so that everyone is going to leave him in the end anyway so it’s acceptable to shut down, close himself off, and pull stunts that more or less come down to, “totally up and bailing on everyone,” which is understandable, given his backstory, but dude, that doesn’t make it okay or helpful??

basically, “literally anything about the characters as individuals, or in terms of their interactions with each other — both past and present — that could potentially cause problems for either/both/any/all of them and potentially make the relationship unhealthy (or unhealthier than it already was, in the cases of Snu//pin and Snack because…… oh boy, let’s not even act like either of those — or any ship with Sev in it, for that matter — is ever going to be ‘healthy’ by any definition)”

So, like? Is Snupin #Problematic? Yes, definitely. Are some of its shippers prone to ship it in #Problematic ways? Oh, yes, absolutely (Hell, the BNF whose art I used to like even flat-out said things like, “Sirius would never be able to be there for Remus like Snape could” and… um? Even granted that this was pre-OOTP: ummm???)

But on the whole, Snu//pin shippers aren’t actually any worse about totally ignoring and/or excusing these elements of their ship than Wolfstar shippers are (and, actually, they might be doing better than a LOT of the present-day Wolfstar fandom, since I usually don’t see any more recently made Snu//pin that doesn’t grapple with at least some of the #Problematic elements of it — they don’t always do it well, but at least they’re trying, which counts for a lot, to me, because most people don’t even try — while most Wolfstar these days flat-out ignores all the #Problematic elements of Sirius and Remus as characters, and of their relationship, in the name of what often amounts to borderline-OOC caricatured fanon nonsense, so…)

(……Look, I love Wolfstar, and I have for longer than some people on this website have been alive. But I don’t love a lot of Wolfstar shippers, which has been the case since the beginning of my Wolfstar shipping

stayed the case when HBP came out and I was all, “Hey, guys? I don’t like this BS Remus/Tonks thing either, but can we NOT erase bisexuals or treat Tonks like garbage when we’re talking about it, it’s not her fault that Molly Weasley is a meddling nosy garbage buttinski who thinks it’s her job to play matchmaker to fully-grown adults who didn’t ask and don’t want her input,”

and is still the case as I’m over here, all like, “ugh, man, at least we used to have SOME people in this fandom who enjoyed reading Wolfstar angst, now it seems like nobody cares about anything unless it’s all fluff, all the time, with absolutely no room for anything else because god forbid you ever want to write about LGBTQ characters whose lives aren’t 5,000% perfect, that obviously must mean that you’re a gross fetishistic cishet and not, for example, a neurodivergent, mentally ill lesbian survivor who feels left out by the trend towards forcing every LGBTQ person to act like we’re happy, all the time, and to act like we’re only interested in fictional LGBTQ people who are perfectly 5,000% happy all the time

“and to decry any and all depictions of LGBTQ people being UNhappy as gross fetishistic straight people garbage even when they were actually created by and for LGBTQ people, only to be misappropriated by straight people, as if there’s no way you could possibly be LGBTQ and NOT feel ~used and maligned~ by depictions of LGBTQ people that are less than 5,000% perfectly happy, even when they are being created by other LGBTQ people, yeah? ……but yeah, no, clearly: the fact that I like angst obviously means that I am a straight person because no ~real~ LGBTQ person ever has any need for those ~gross negative feelings~ or fictional outlets for them, never mind how many LGBTQ people get excluded from our narratives and spaces by this bullshit bc lmao who cares amiright. ://”)

—anyway, my motto has been and remains, “It isn’t a question of WHAT you ship, it’s a question of HOW you ship it,” so hey. Snu//pin is not my thing (it’s not even as non-shippingly interesting to me as Sirius/Severus is, because I love how much those two hate each other while unwittingly being perfect foils for each other), but I don’t actually have any desire to ship-bash it and most Snu//pin shippers are okay with me because unless they’re actually doing anything that’s harmful to anyone else, it’s not my business what they ship

That said: “Snu//pin” is still one of the worst portmanteau ship names ever and it still sounds like a deadly virus or something, but *shrugs* Whatever, it’s not the shippers’ faults that their ship members’ names don’t smush up all that nicely