#that chronic pain life...... gotta inflict it on him

[by-ilmater]

listen, i know this is 100% personal projection, i fully understand fictional characters aren't real, obviously.

but i really think the reason certain takes about gale and the orb and, to a lesser extent mystra, irritate me so much is the implication that he deserved what the orb does to him because of hubris or ambition or whatever. that mystra was this benevolent force in his life that he took for granted, and that he deserves this because he's a bad person.

and as a chronically ill person, who sees a lot of myself in gale, that like.....really sucks lol. my chronic pain is due to my unfortunate genetics, but even if it was caused by something self-inflicted, that still wouldn't mean i deserve it. i need to believe in the idea that someone doesn't deserve to pay the price for a single mistake for the rest of their life, even if that is the unfortunate reality. y'know? and to look at his situation and write him off as a bad person because of a single fuck up feels callous and wrong.

(gotta emphasize, because i know how y'all act: i am not saying you can't interpret gale differently than me. feel and think however you like. i'm not going to argue with anyone, i have no interest in discourse over this)

[clanborn]

Just applied for the rp and I gotta know what is Martinsongs DEAL, Like yeah he made his kit fatherless by not being the father but how does he actually feel about them? :O (idk the kits pronouns)

here's his history document for full context but i picked out the paragraphs that address martin's feelings about cloversplash (his kit, who uses they/he)

tldr martin simultaneously loves/hates/is indifferent towards clover due to his terrible ways of coping with his own abusive childhood and his chronic Dead Wife Syndrome

"Until one day, a young cat is led stumbling into camp by Hailfeather, and Martinsong’s heart is frozen with hopeful recognition. For a joyous second, she seems to have returned, some miraculous twist of fate born out of Starclan’s pity. But no, despite having her cream and brown fur, this cat has Martinsong’s eyes–Cinderfall’s eyes. This cat is his son, Cloverpaw, who had come seeking refuge from their misfortune-riddled past in their father’s clan. Martinsong is overcome with a swarm of emotions–guilt that his son was in such a state, that Martinsong hadn’t been there to help him when he needed it most. Alongside this, fear–he knew he had a kit, conceptually, but it had never registered as a reality to him until this moment–what the hell was he going to do? He barely knew this cat, had no idea how to guide and love them properly, and he wasn’t sure he even had the capability. All he had known of fatherhood was pain, and Martinsong was terrified of ever inflicting that same pain on this young, hurting cat. Of course, all this also returned a sharp pain to his own wounded heart, digging up a host of buried memories, as he spent each day looking upon a mirror of Rosewing’s–and in his mind, Cypressdusk’s–face. All this uncertainty was too much to bear, and Martinsong relegated himself to avoiding Cloverpaw as much as possible. It wasn’t kind, Martinsong knew, but at least by minimizing their interactions, Martinsong minimized the chances he could irreversibly hurt this cat. When Cloverpaw became Cloversplash, Martinsong stood off to the sidelines–proud that his son had become a warden, and in some ways glad that this cat had spent so much of his life without Martin, convinced that this cat succeeded best without Martinsong’s influence."

"a part of him still desperately longs for a connection with Cloversplash, a chance to be the sort of father Martinsong never had. But Martinsong just can’t seem to do it right, just can’t find a way to form a true bond. Just as he did with Rosewing, Martinsong’s feelings towards Cloversplash are in constant turmoil, tumbling between distaste for his son who can’t seem to do anything correctly, who just won’t give Martinsong a chance–and distaste for himself, since Martinsong was the wrong one, and he didn’t deserve to have such a wonderful son anyway. Maybe one day, this tortuous dance of emotions will end, and Martinsong will find a way to finally leave his past behind."

"Feels somewhat disappointed and guilty that he missed out on Clover’s childhood even though that’s a choice he made willingly. Angry at himself for missing out on it but projects that anger outward"

[thepocket221]

FAUST HEADCANONS BC I MISS THEM WHERE IS MY BABY MR VOICE BRING THEM B A C K

yes i have the faust liker disease

they are everything to me🫶🫶

they/them faust TRUTHERS WE STRIKE AT DAWN

not non-binary nor gnc, just kinda,, genderless??

doesn’t feel connected to anything gender related(it might be due to a lack of self identity)

average “clothes don’t have gender” truther

cannot cook nor bake for shit

idc what you saw this bitch cannot follow a recipe to save their life

fav place to eat out at is very unknown noodle bars

an average pho enjoyer (soup and noodles are their safe foods)

blocked the term “blue hair and pronouns” and it’s many variations from regular chat.

“super chat is just funnier” <- faust when they are lying

definitely has beef with charlie

my only evidence for this is that in the end of bittersweet chapter 3, charlie and auron clearly have a better relationship compared to that of auron and faust

definitely feels like their easily replaceable

“wow all that time i spent trying to get to know you and spend time with you just for your to like this blond bitch huh. okay. wow, love you too, brother.”

often in a very dissociative state

doesn’t feel like themself

(gives them horrendous short term memory loss bc it’s what i have)

arm is littered with reminders

also has facial blindness

remembers people based off of certain attributes(voice, hair color, style choices, etc.)

chronic migraine disorder haver

their head hurts so much, but they are being very brave about it

“most of my hcs for faust aren’t based off of angst that lives in my head” <- glenn when they lie

became a streamer bc their body hurts a lot all of the time (wow projecting again, huh glenn /s /lhj)

little walks around town bc they still gotta get that vitamin D💪

also gonna slip in that they have trouble taking pills (WOW, PROJECTING AGAIN, HUH GLENN /lhj)

also doesn’t have a lot of friends but this is more self-inflicted. they just don’t like talking to people

“no point of getting to know someone if i’m just gonna forget them”

“autistic” <- glenn when they tell the truth

SpeIn is tarot, mythology, and constellations

“i can’t tell you a thing about myself but i can tell you every little detail about the stars and they have such deep lore behind them”

we don’t see enough abt the witchy aspects of them and finn I NEED MORE (i am a practicing witch)

only added bells to the cat ears, tail, and collar because they like the sound

makes them go (:

despises almost every fabric so they have to get all of their clothes custom made

vocal stims:

phrases from games they’ve played

a meme/tiktok they have saved to their phone (“lemme get my cat on the mic.. MOOOWWW”, “get the fuck off my porch”, shit like that)

humming and/or singing

tactile stims:

swaying either while sitting or standing

finger taps

walks on the ball of their feet

also a camboy

collabs between them and alphonse are legendary

at least friendly acquaintances

they charlie despisers together

this isn’t charlie slander i promise, i love him dearly (i have a playlist abt him so obviously i’m telling the truth /lhj /s /pos)

canonical thick thighs

canonically saving lives!!

doodles on their thighs

makes little tattoo ideas for themself (never goes through with it bc their pain tolerance is very low and the ink pen looks like it would hurt a little)

the type of individual to keep the stuffed animal they had since they were a baby

okay that’s it, goodbye and stay safe🫡

[kingfakey]

clusterhead