#that felt really evident to me in some of his thoughts re Lucy Gray

[ignitedbynatsu]

A Little More Faith

A/N: None of you would be able to read my works if it wasn’t for Grammarly 🤐 Anywayyy @exhaustedpotat0 I hope you like it ❤ Thank you again for the request and the support it really means a lot to me. My blog is blowing up recently and I can’t express how much everyone’s support means to me. 

Warnings: mention of injury, fighting with parents

Genre: Angst to fluff

⚡🤍⚡🤍⚡🤍⚡🤍⚡🤍⚡🤍⚡🤍⚡🤍⚡🤍⚡🤍⚡🤍⚡🤍⚡🤍⚡🤍⚡🤍⚡🤍⚡🤍⚡🤍

"I don't like this" Laxus grumbled as he watched his daughter laughing over something Natsu had said.

"It's just a job" Mira-Jane reassured him as a feeling of pride washed over her while looking at the girl in question. She was finally going to go on her first mission.

"I already don't like the idea of her leaving for a mission" he repeated "but for that mission to be with Natsu of all people? I don't stand behind this"

"Is dad being grumpy again?" A chuckled vibrated from (Y/N)'s chest as she gave her mother a kiss on the cheek as a way to say goodbye.

"I don't condone this" Laxus voiced his thoughts as the girl kissed him on the cheek as well.

"Well, that sounds like a you problem" she shrugged before rushing off, knowing he'd scold her for talking back if she didn't get out there quick "Bye mom and dad, I'll be back soon! Love you!"

Team Natsu followed soon behind, Natsu and Gray laughing at the pissed of Laxus while Erza reassured the couple she'll scold her in their place.

The younger girl was beaming with excitement as she finally left for her first-ever job. Even though Laxus was still mostly against it, Mira-Jane somehow managed to persuade him to let her go on her first mission at the age of 14.

That same excitement soon vanished as her hamstrings were slashed, making her unable to walk and crumble in pain to the floor, a blood-curdling scream leaving her lips soon after.

"(Y/N)!" Natsu was quick to jump in front of the younger mage, Gray following not even a second later. They shared an understanding nod to push their differences aside and protect the girl at all costs. "Lucy! Get her out of here!"

Lucy obeyed, summing Loke to grab her whilst fighting the enemies with Taurus. "Loke! Bring her to Wendy and protect her"

The celestial being understood the graveness of the situation and decided to bite his tongue instead of making his usual flirty remark towards his owner. "Let's go little one" he carefully picked her up while his eyes darted around, desperate to catch a glimpse of the dragon slayer. The moment he saw a hint of blue hair, he didn't hesitate for a second and ran over to her, all while carrying (Y/N) in his arms that was still crying out in pain.

"Wendy!" Loke called out to the said mage. With only a mere glance she understood what was going on. She finished off the opponent she was fighting with and ran towards the wounded girl.

She exclaimed the cut, a troubled expression clearly evident upon her features "there's not much I can do right here. I can stop the bleeding and relieve some pain, but her hamstrings are torn. I need my equipment at the guild to see how grave the injury is"

A new determination filled everyone as Wendy's words rang in their ears. They needed to handle this quickly. Every second could be one too many. In record time, they managed to fend off the last enemies.

Natsu took over from Loke, as Lucy had little to no energy left to keep the celestial being in this world. They got the first train home, not even sparing the price-money a single thought. The younger girl was their top priority right now. No money in the world could top that.

Laxus's eyes fell on the lifeless girl in Natsu's arms as soon as they set foot back into the guild. Freed and Bickslow quickly got up to stand in front of him as they saw the change in his demeanour. Their friend was completely engulfed in rage that was directed towards one man in particular and that was the man that was holding his gravely injured daughter. "Natsu" electricity was crackling over his body as he got closer and closer to the said mage.

"Laxus!" Mira-Jane narrowed her eyes at him as she stepped between the two dragon slayers "this is not the time. Wendy, please, heal her"

Wendy motioned Natsu, to follow her to the medical room, leaving the enraged Laxus and a worried Mira-Jane

There was a heavy, uncomfortable silence placed across the guild. Nobody dared to make a sound, afraid to tick the couple off as they waited in anticipation for Wendy to finish the surgery.

Laxus mind was swarmed with worst-case scenarios as his eyes were fixated on the door of the medical room. He was experiencing so much stress and frustration that he felt like punching a wall, no, he wanted to punch Natsu, but Mira-Jane was right. This was not the time, not right now.

Mira-Jane was busying herself downstairs with the dishes. Even though she had complete faith in Wendy, she also knew that if she were to be left alone with her thoughts for even a minute, she wouldn't be able to break free from them.

Minutes felt like hours and hours felt like years. But after nearly two hours, Wendy came out with a content smile plastered upon her face "she'll be fine. She just needs to wake up from her anaesthesia, but after that, she'll be back to normal."

It was like everyone could breathe again once those words filled their ears. She was okay. (Y/N) would be just fine.

After a couple more hours, the anaesthesia had completely worn off and (Y/N) was sitting up straight while Mira-Jane and Laxus stood on either side of her bed.

"I'm so glad you're okay" the eldest Strauss sibling mumbled as she kissed her daughter's head, a couple of tears fell from her eyes in relief.

"That's it. No more jobs for you" (Y/N) eyes shot up as she heard the stern words from her father "What? No! You can't do that"

"I can and I will. Don't you realize that you might have never been able to walk again?" He argued, but his daughter wasn't having it, both sharing the same short temper "It was just a scratch stop making a big deal out of it"

"I'm not having it. You're not allowed on jobs anymore and that's final" Laxus crossed his arms in front of him to show that he was done with the conversation.

(Y/N)'s eyes were swimming with rage at her father's stubbornness "stop treating me like a child!" "Then stop acting like one!"

"It's because you push me in that role!" She was certain that everyone downstairs in the guild could hear her, but she didn't care. If anything, she wanted them to hear how unreasonable her father was "I am the daughter of two of the strongest mages in Fairy Tail. You've been training me from the moment I could walk. Why can't you trust me?"

"Because you're clearly not ready for it" the blonde scoffed. He knew this discussion was long overdue, but that didn't mean he was going to back down easily. Not when his daughter was nearly disabled for life.

"It was an accident! Mom, please say something" she desperately pleaded for her mother to side with her and talk some sense into her father but when she didn't budge, the younger girl scoffed "you're both being hypocrites. How many times have you been laying on death's doorstep when you were around my age? I want you to leave. Now."

It was like the temperature changed along with the cold words that left her mouth. The toxic words left a bitter taste in everyone's mouth.

Laxus wanted to say something but stopped himself when Mira-Jane placed a hand on his bicep and shook her head softly no. She knew that their daughter was right. They were being a hypocrite, but how could they not when they saw their little girl in so much pain only a couple of hours ago?

"She's right you know" Erza confronted the parents once they softly closed the door behind them "It's definitely not fun, but it's part of the job. She's 14, you can't shield her away from the world forever. Sure, this wouldn't have happened if we all had been a little more on edge, but it happened. Mistakes are bound to be made, but we learn from them, and so will she"

"But she's our little girl" Mira-Jane sighed as her eyes lingered on the door where Wendy had just walked through again to check up on their daughter.

"I know, and I can't start to imagine how you two must've felt when you saw her like that, but she's also part of Fairy Tail. If you didn't trust her skills, you wouldn't have let her join" Erza pointed out. Both parents were quite as they took in every word the mage in front of them said "you both need to put a little more faith in her. If you don't, she'll start doing stuff behind your back, and you will drift apart."

The last words struck a nerve with Laxus. He knew how painful it was to lose his family. He vowed to never let that happen, to never make the mistake his father did. And yet he unconsciously was pushing her further away from him.

The white-haired mage took notice of the realization that dawned upon her husband "I think we need to apologize"

Laxus blindly followed his wife as they re-entered the room their daughter was laying in "I thought I told you to get out"

"Actually, we're here to apologize" Mira-Jane's signature kind smile was placed upon her lips.

Laxus sighed deeply as the eyes of the two women he loved most were staring at him in anticipation "we- no, I am really sorry for smothering you. I wanted to keep you close in an attempt to not go down the same path my father did, but by doing, so I realize I'm also pushing you further away from me, from us. I am really sorry. I never meant for that to happen"

"You're not pushing me away, nor do you need to compare yourself to that man. You're the best father I could've ever wished for and yeah sure you can be suffocating sometimes, but I know it's because you care about me" (Y/N) eyes softened at the revelation of her father's insecurities.

"You're allowed to go on missions from now on. Just promise us you'll be more careful next time" Mira-Jane pleaded to which their daughter placed a hand over her heart "I promise, now come here"

The three shared a hug, mending the cracks that had slowly started to form as if they were never there.

[petri808]

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30-Epilogue

*Trigger warning- panic attack. The next 4 chapters will stay completely angsty as well, but I swear the ride will get us to a happy ending. Due to feedback, I agree that I need to show the trauma and progression to heal.

Thank you to @mcornilliac​ for your invaluable input, it’s really gonna help bring the story fully to life :) 

“Lucy, baby,” Natsu’s hand squeezed harder. “You gotta calm down.”

“Ma’am... ma’am,” the EMT snapped his fingers in front of Lucy’s face. “Ma’am, I need you to focus on me. Can you focus on me?”

Their words were just muffled static, barely any tone and definitely not comprehensible to Lucy for there was too much competition vying for attention flowing through her mind. It felt like standing in a rapid wave break of constant ebb and flow but pounding against her prone body flattened into the shoreline. The thoughts raced so quickly, screaming, with only the harshest words coming through like a foghorn in the blackest night. Death. Pain. Blood. Anger, along with the emotional turmoil that came with them. Each rushing wave of anxiety fueled irrational thought after thought. ‘Stupid, stupid girl! Such a selfish fool! This was your fault for stealing away someone else’s love, a fantasy home wrecker! Fuck that! Natsu was mine fair and square, damn it! I deserved Natsu just as much and he loved me! Not Touka! Me!!!’ Lucy’s mind screamed, but the stares ate away... All those eyes judging her as they took that walk of shame. The authorities, the neighbors, heaven help her the talk that’s bound to get around. Will there be whispered, and hushed tones muttered around her, bearing down with all the weight of a thousand gravitational forces?! It was too much! Too mu—

“Oww!!” Lucy screamed and yanked her hand back, as she felt a sharp stab on the back of her hand. “What the fuck did you do that for?!” She glared at the EMT while rubbing and nursing the angry red spot. Whatever the man had done had hurt, but aside from the pain, nothing broke through the skin.

Without missing a beat, the EMT merely retook Lucy’s hand and placed two fingers over the pulse point in her wrist. “Can you tell me your name?” He questioned, speaking in a soft tone.

“Of course, I can! It’s Lucy Heartfilia!”

“Mmhmm,” he uttered in response. His eyes stayed trained on his own watch. “Do you know where you are?”

“In a fucking ambulance!”

“And who’s the current prime minister?”

“Huh? Um,” she paused with her head slightly tilted, “it was Abe, but I don’t remember the new guys name.”

“Close enough. Your pulse is still high, but it’s coming down now.” The EMT let go of Lucy’s hand, talking as he continued working on things. “I’m sorry to use such a technique, but when a person is in a panic attack, we need to snap them out of it as quickly as possible to keep it from escalating. Basically, during an attack your mind goes on overload, but physical stimulation can halt it. Shocks, if you will, to snap your focus away from cognitive thoughts back to the physical reality. The questions were to check if your cognitive focus had returned.”

“Oh...” was all Lucy could respond with to all the jargon. She hadn’t even realized she was having a panic attack. “T-Thank you...” But she wondered for a moment, just some physical pain could stop all those bad thoughts? It was something she’d never known before.

“You’re welcome. There are other methods including those you can administer to yourself at the immediate onset, so I suggest you look into them in case of another attack.”

“You think she’ll have more?” Natsu questioned with an obvious mix of concern and curiosity. The whole thing happened so quickly, that by the time he’d registered how bad it was, he couldn’t even react to a stranger stabbing a pen into his girlfriend’s hand. He was annoyed but glad this EMT was able to stay completely focused and calm.

“Traumatic events can cause a lot of emotional reactions including panic attacks. So, it’s a good idea to be prepared just in case.” The EMT now injected her arm, explaining as he went. “This is a mild sedative just to help you relax.”

By the time they’d reached the hospital, the sedative was taking effect and Lucy struggled to keep her eyes open. The level of exhaustion blindsided them both. Physically exhausted as if she’d run a marathon and emotionally drained. The closest she could rationalize it to was studying for the college entrance exam and how tired she’d been once it was over. So, she sat quietly as the medical personnel double checked her wounds, but too dazed to pay attention when they were giving her aftercare instructions. Thank goodness for Levy who’d been waiting as soon as they’d arrived. The woman handled a lot of the talking for Lucy and Natsu, but Natsu himself was being worked on next to Lucy. His wounds were cleaned up better so they could get a closer look.

The doctors inform Lucy she’s free to go but Natsu would have to stay so they could run X-rays. She wanted to fight to stay because right now he was the closest thing to security she had but could barely focus. With some gentle coaxing from both Natsu and Levy, and reminders that Touka wasn’t getting out of jail, Lucy eventually relents. A police officer would be escorting the women back to their apartment.

“Just try to get some sleep, please,” Natsu kissed his girlfriend. “I promise to call you as soon as I can, but I might pass out as soon as I hit my bed.” He wanted to be honest with her but assuring at the same time.

“O-Okay,” she nodded slowly, glassy eyed from exhaustion and sadness. “I understand.”

He leaned his head to her forehead while cupping the back of her neck. “We’re gonna be okay, Lucy. We’re gonna get through this, and I’ll be there for you no matter how long it takes.”

That pulls a few sniffles out of the woman who closes her eyes. “I love you, Natsu.”

“I love you too, Lucy.” He sits back up. “Now promise me you’ll get some sleep?” She nodded. Natsu smiled. “That’s my girl.”

Gray arrived shortly after the two women left for the night to keep his friend company and help him get home. Natsu wasn’t keeping track of time, but it sure felt like this was taking forever. The police had taken both he and Lucy’s phones for evidence, so he had nothing to pass the time with. Luckily, there wasn’t a lot of downtime between treatments. After the X-ray, the doctors sedated him and sewed up the wounds on his cheek and abdomen. It took both internal and external sutures, but luckily the side wound didn’t hit anything major. According to the doctor, the knife had missed the large intestine by a centimeter. He’ll be left with nasty scars for life, but a life is one he’ll at least have.

“You okay, man?” Gray questioned.

“Just tired and sore,” Natsu sighed. Now that Lucy wasn’t there, he let his body and mind fully register all the physical pain he was going through. “I just wanna fall into my bed.”

The doctors told Natsu, he should fully heal in about six to eight weeks, pending he keep the wound clean, keep his health up, and above all did nothing to aggravate it. So much for working, but he was sure that Makarov will make an exception. Maybe put him on register, light stocking, and inventory with no heavy lifting. As for how bad the scars will be, only time will tell. Plastic surgery might help, but that costs money. In a fleeting thought, Natsu worried that Lucy would leave him over it. ‘No way, she’s not vain like that... although the reminder it gives might be the problem...’ he quickly dismissed the notion from conscious thought, even though it lingered in the background. It would certainly hurt if she did, but could he really blame her? To be reminded of the night she almost died every time she looked at him? Natsu wanted to believe that Lucy was strong enough to get through this, and regardless if things eventually didn’t work out between them, he’d never stop trying to help her. He owed her that much for putting her in this situation. Well... that wasn’t fair, he couldn’t have foreseen Touka’s behavior, but it didn’t make him feel any less guilty for it.

“We’re here.”

Grays voice snapped Natsu out of his thoughts. He looked out of the taxi window to see the front of their apartment building. “Oh, right.” He was so ready to clean up and sleep.

Inside their apartment, Natsu took a shower, and Gray helped him to re-bandage his wounds. The warm water and sensation of being clean helped him to feel a little better, at least physically, even though the emotional turmoil still churned. But as he laid in bed, the exhaustion was swiftly taking over. There was so much to do. Replace their phones, the official police interview, notifying their jobs and schools to make sure they wouldn’t fall behind. Even the EMT’s comment was nagging at him, so note to self, call the shrink in the morning... well, as soon as he woke up anyways. By the time his eyes were shuttering closed, the early breach of dawn had made its calling. It was a new day and all Natsu could hope was to start anew.

[sweetmemories2606]

Answers (Gruvia/Gajevy Fanfic) Chapter 2

Originally this was my prompt for Gruvia Week 2020 day 3: perverse, but as it often happens, the story decided to become multi-chapter. 

Here's the basic info to jog everyone's memory:

Title: Answers

Pairings: Gruvia, Gajevy (from ch 3), may include other ships as well

Summary: Everyone has secrets, but some are deadlier than others. Gray didn't imagine Juvia was hiding anything, until she was taken by the Magic Council for questioning.

Timeline: Grand Magic Games

Warnings: Major plot twist and incoming angst. 😏

Word Count: around 2000 words per chapter

Link: Ch 1 Ch 2

I hope you'll enjoy!

                                   ----------------------

                                 Chapter 2: Suspicion

"They sent you to infiltrate Fiore in case the invasion failed, didn't they?"

Standing up, Juvia glared at the two agents. "I refuse to stay here and listen to you make such accusations without evidence."

Doranbolt reached for the handcuffs before using his teleportation magic. Appearing behind her, he quickly placed them around her wrists.

Juvia gasped upon realising that they prevented her from using magic. Not good.

Returning to his seat at the table, Doranbolt gave her a determined look. "You're not going anywhere until we have the truth."

"If you give us useful information, we might consider not arresting you." Lahar said.

Juvia struggled against the cuffs, but it was pointless. "I don't trust either of you."

Doranbolt sighed. "Look, I'm giving you a chance to do the right thing here."

"The right thing." She rolled her eyes and scoffed. "Why do people always use that term?"

"If you don't cooperate..." Lahar threatened.

"You'll arrest me, I know." Juvia shrugged.

"But before that..." Doranbolt lifted a glowing hand. "I'll use my magic to see through your memories."

Juvia considered this for a moment, quickly coming to the conclusion that it wouldn't be the worst case scenario. After all, it's not like they would find anything useful there either.

"Go ahead." She shrugged, and the two agents seemed confused. "You won't find what you're looking for."

"Alright, then." Doranbolt pressed his hand against her forehead and closed his eyes.

                                   ----------------------

                                    At the infirmary

Gray was met with cheers and congratulations from his comrades once he re-entered the infirmary.

"Well done, Gray." Makarov was the first to congratulate him.

"It was about time." Cana rolled her eyes.

"You're a real man." Elfman yelled.

"I'm so happy for you!" Mirajane swooned.

"Wait a second..." Gajeel was the first to notice. "Where's Juvia?"

The mood instantly changed as people became confused, worried and honestly a little afraid.

"Gray?" Erza asked, leaving Natsu's side since she had been comforting him and taking a step towards the ice mage.

"She's gone." He answered and his mind replayed the weird moment from before in an attempt to understand it.

"Gone where?" Gajeel asked, his tone even more concerned.

"I don't know." Gray answered, sincerely. "She told me not to worry, but I can't help it."

"I'm confused." Natsu affirmed. "Did you guys get together or not?"

Everyone looked at the ice mage in expectation. "That's not really any of your business, flame brain." Gray snapped, a slight blush colouring his cheeks.

"Please." Cana scoffed. "If you wanted to keep it a secret, then you shouldn't have been so obvious."

Before he could protest, Makarov stepped in. "Gray, I understand you are a private person, but we just want you to be happy."

"And if being with Juvia is what makes you happy, we want help to make that happen." Levy continued.

"Speak for yourself." Gajeel muttered, glaring at the ice mage.

"I appreciate you wanting to help." Gray said after a few silent moments. "But I think it's up to me and Juvia now."

"And where is Juvia?" Makarov asked, looking worried. "Why isn't she with you?"

"She was taken by the Magic Council." The former revealed, ensuing shocked gasps and screams.

"But why?" Levy asked what all were thinking.

Defeated, Gray slumped into a chair. "I have no idea."

                                   ----------------------

                                   Outside Crocus

"I still can't believe she hurt Lucy like that." Meredy was still in disbelief over what they had witnessed earlier.

"It seems the Sabertooth guild doesn't care about humanity." Jellal stated pensively.

"Do you think they could be the evil we've been sensing?" Ultear suggested.

"Can't be." He immediately responded, shaking his head. "They were all in their stand yesterday when I saw the figure."

"They could've used an illusion like Raven Tail." Ultear wisely pointed out.

Meredy was thoughtful for a moment. "I don't think we should spend much time considering this."

"We've got bigger issues to think about." Jellal said, glancing at the crystal ball in her hands which showed the still image of Juvia walking away from Gray, following Doranbolt and Lahar.

They had been aiming to check up on Lucy, but once the image of the couple outside the infirmary appeared, Meredy insisted they watched this interaction. They knew why she was interested in the couple and couldn't deny their own curiosity.

Watching Gray try to confess was amusing and when they finally kissed the trio smiled in delight. However, the beautiful moment was soon ruined by the two Magic Council agents.

"Why do you think they want to talk to Juvia?" Meredy wondered.

"I don't know." Jellal frowned, worried and suspicious.

"It's not really our business." Ultear pointed out, making the image disappear from the ball.

"It could be, if she's involved in something dangerous." He told her.

"You don't think she is, do you?" Meredy's eyes widened, her disbelief clear.

Jellal and Ultear shared a look before he sighed. "I've always sensed that she had a connection to Zeref."

"Me too." The time mage admitted.

"But…" Meredy didn't want to believe it. She refused to. "She can't…"

"I remember meeting her when we were members of the Council, while she was still in Phantom Lord." Ultear mused. "There was a certain...energy to her which now that I think about it is similar to Zeref's."

"I didn't feel that." Meredy said, now conflicted.

"This without mentioning the fact that her file is nearly empty." Jellal remembered. "I always thought that was the fault of the orphanage where she grew up, but it could be something else."

"Well, whatever she's hiding, we should figure it out before someone gets hurt because of it." Ultear affirmed.

                                   ----------------------

                                       In Alvarez

"I still think that you should have killed her on Tenrou Island." Dimaria stated as the Spriggan 12 met with Emperor Spriggan to discuss the matter of Juvia Lockser.

"Why?" Irene questioned. "The girl is hardly a threat."

"You said the same about her father." Larcade observed.

"And she was right." Zeref spoke, silencing their argument. "Or are you forgetting that Daniel was the one who allowed us to dispose of the Council members that posed a threat to the Empire?"

"Yet why are we letting them live?" Larcade motioned towards the image of Doranbolt and Lahar that was shown on a screen.

"For now." The Emperor said. "But we didn't arrange this meeting to discuss them."

"No, we did not." Irene said as everyone became serious.

"We should focus on our latest mission to infiltrate Fairy Tail." Invel reminded them.

Dimaria voiced her opinion. "I still believe this is rather risky."

"I agree." Ajeel piped in. "Trusting a mere servant to gain us access to their inside information…"

"Well, if any of us went there they'd be easily suspicious." Brandish pointed out, looking bored as usual.

"Besides, we can't forget that our spy has a deep connection to one of their core members." August finally spoke.

"That is precisely why I chose them." Zeref stated with a knowing smile. "It's always easier for people to trust someone they think they know."

                                   ----------------------

                                   Inside the castle

"Are you sure that was the right call?" Doranbolt asked while organising the files.

"I don't know." Lahar let out a defeated sigh. "But we established that she's not a threat."

"That doesn't mean we can trust her, though." The former concluded, closing the now empty drawer on the desk.

"Of course not." The latter shook his head. "We'll keep a close eye on her and if she does anything suspicious, we can arrest her."

"Don't you think it would be better to take her now instead of waiting?" Doranbolt suggested.

As expected, Lahar disagreed. "We do not have enough evidence to arrest her now."

The former sighed. "Sometimes I hate having to do things the right way."

                                   ----------------------

                           Outside the Mercurious

Juvia left the palace feeling uncertain and unsafe. Even though she hadn't said anything incriminating nor did her memories reveal the truth, she felt like Doranbolt and Lahar remained suspicious.

She was grateful that they had let her go, though. The thought of being arrested and sent to ERA was terrifying, even more so when everything was finally falling into place.

Thinking back to her moment with Gray, she couldn't help but to smile. He had been so sweet, trying to tell her he felt the same and then politely asking if he could kiss her.

Juvia hadn't expected him to be such a gentleman, but it was a welcome surprise. She could only imagine how he would act if they did get together. At least she hoped this would be the outcome of the conversation they were meant to have later.

What if it isn't? She stopped in her tracks, suddenly overwhelmed by fear. Strange how she was more afraid of losing him than being sent to prison.

Another terrifying thought came. What if he finds out about Alvarez? What will I tell him?

Juvia sighed as she resumed walking along the palace gardens. She really needed to start figuring out what to tell him and everyone else about the interrogation. There must be a way to dissuade them from asking too many questions she couldn't answer.

She was about to start brainstorming when suddenly she felt a familiar presence. Stopping again, she looked ahead and sure enough there was a hooded figure not far ahead.

There was a moment of silence as Juvia stared at the figure, unsure what to do. Then, they suddenly removed their hood, revealing a familiar head of blonde hair and big brown eyes. It was Lucy.

[rainteaanddragons]

Smoke & Mirrors: Twenty - Innate Magic

Prologue |  Ch 1 | Ch 2 | Ch3 | Ch4 | Ch 5 | Ch 6 | Ch 7 | Ch 8 | Ch 9 | Ch10 | Ch 11 | Ch 12 | Ch 13 | Ch 14 | Ch 15 | Ch 16 | Ch 17 | Ch 18 | Ch 19 | Ch 20 |

Read on ff.net and ao3

Hey guys! We made it to chapter 20...woahh! For me, like chapter 10, the chapter 20 mark is a bit of a milestone aha (though technically this is number 21, thank you Prologue) Thank you so much for all your support in your reviews and faves/follows - I'm really enjoying writing this so the fact that you are enjoying it too is really encouraging, and just makes me really happy! Anywho, I'll stop babbling now and let you read what you really came here for :P

Enjoy! :)

"You can lift your head up to the sky, take a deeper breath and give it time. You can walk the path among the lines, with your shattered frame of mind ." - Frame of Mind, Tristam & Braken

It seemed to Lucy that Gray and Natsu had an unspoken pact between them not to speak of what they had seen in Gray's memories, or even what they had talked about afterward. They shared only the necessary points with the guild which made Lucy worry. It was no lie that Gray had been tortured, and horrifically at that, the state her friend was in was evidence enough, but there lay the problem. Now Natsu knew just how much Gray had endured for him, and with that came a whole new set of problems.

Even after he and Natsu had finished their conversation Gray had stayed up in the infirmary on the claim of wanting to rest. Though Gray didn't like to admit it, he was still very weak. The one and only cure for that was first to rest, and then to try and build back that strength slowly so to not overwork himself. This was easier said than done. Though she knew what Gray had told them was right, Lucy knew her friend well enough to tell that Gray was also avoiding the onslaught of questions he knew the guild would have.

Gallantly, Natsu had taken the front on that. He had answered their questions simply and honestly before moving onto the next one.

"Did they use Kakusareta Omoide?"

"They did but Gray hijacked the spell and managed to cut me out of his mind before they could find out the truth about me from him."

"So that's why he can't remember you?"

"Yes, that's right."

"How did he do it? How'd he hijack the spell?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure."

"Do you know who it was?"

"No. Gray didn't recognise them so I couldn't either."

"What happened to you in there? What did you see?"

That last one he had refused to answer.

Now, Natsu hadn't moved so much as an inch for the rest of that day. He sat slumped at a table in the guild hall, all bravado gone. Though he knew it was for the best, the choice to not bring back Gray's memories had seemingly taken something from him. Even Happy couldn't seem to boost Natsu's mood. The Exceed had now taken to just sitting next to Natsu at the bench, he didn't speak at all, but just sat there with him. People moved around him carefully, as if the slightest noise or movement too close would set him off.

In truth, Natsu didn't really want to think about it at all. He wished none of this had happened in the first place. Stupidly, he thought of Gray. Gray didn't have the memories he did, it would be so much easier for him to move on. So much easier to just leave those memories be. He thumped his forehead on the table before leaving it to rest there.

I just want you to look at me the way you used to.

The thought floated to the forefront of his mind without Natsu wanting it to. It brought up a question, and it wasn't the first time it had come up. How had Gray looked at me? What was it that had made him not knowing me such a noticeable change? We were friends, are friends, were– but that doesn't mean I should feel like this. Another thud, and another. He didn't stop until he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Natsu." Lucy's voice reached him through his confused thoughts. "Stop it! Please."

Natsu did. Whether it was because of the dull ache which now radiated from his forehead, or for Lucy, he wasn't sure.

Lucy edged onto the bench next to him. "I can't begin to understand what you are going through, Natsu. But I do know that whatever you are thinking right now won't help."

Natsu didn't reply. He didn't sit up either. Lucy sat with him, leaving her arm around him. At that point there wasn't much more she could do. She hadn't expected Gray and Natsu to decide to not bring back Gray's memories. The 'everything will be alright in the end because we're Fairy Tail and that's how it works' attitude was something which Lucy had become used to, and even taken for granted. So seeing the total opposite in Natsu was something she wasn't quite sure how to deal with.

Something she didn't expect though was to see Gray at the top of the stairs which led down from the infirmary. Not only because of his claim of needing rest, she hadn't thought Gray would appear until the rest of the guild, and maybe even Natsu had left. The determination in her friend's eyes said otherwise. Like the rest of the guild, she tried not to react, but the unspoken pact they had kept so to make Gray feel as normal possible was hard to stick to. This time though, it honestly wasn't the best choice.

– o – o – o –

Gray lay on his bed in the infirmary. The dull silence encasing him in his thoughts. Like Natsu, he'd had a feeling about what they would see in his memories, so it wasn't that which circled his mind. Bringing back something which his mind had filed away so neatly was bringing up so much more of his time with the dark guild. Not just memories though, there were emotions he hadn't expected to feel, let alone be able to attribute to that time.

Among them, guilt was the most surprising.

It was easier for Gray to understand then that it was more than just his memories of Natsu that he'd lost that day. In hijacking the Kakusareta Omoide spell, Gray could see that either consciously or subconsciously he'd also worked to protect himself from what he'd experienced. Little by little, since Gray had been admitted to hospital, he'd been chipping away at the protection he'd placed on his mind. The spell Rufus had cast had smashed right through. Shattering his minds attempt to shelter what little of himself he had left. He could remember it all now. Now, he could re-live the pain, the fear, the onslaught of emotions which his torture had brought to the surface. Every little detail had come flooding back all at once.

It wouldn't stop.

He thumped a fist down onto the bed.

Stop! Please stop! I don't want to see that! To feel that again…

Gray wasn't sure what to do. Part of him knew he needed to talk to someone, but that wasn't something he had the energy to do. Plus the question of who best to talk to didn't help. He didn't want to bring anyone else into this, but he knew that he had to. The one person his gut was telling him to talk to was the one he wanted to least. Natsu was difficult, Gray had seen what just seeing some of what had happened to him had done, he wasn't about to inflict more guilt on him.

What else was there to do though? He needed to do something? Gray inhaled slowly, letting it fill him completely before letting that breath out through his mouth.

This is not the time to lose it.

Gray sat up, and swinging his legs around he let his feet touch the linoleum flooring.

I can do this. I need to be able to do this by myself. If not…

He couldn't bring himself to finish that sentence. He felt at a loss as it was. As if, other than Natsu there was something still missing, but he couldn't quite work it out. To not be able to make it back to some form of normality was something he didn't want to deal with. Walking by himself was a start Gray decided he could make himself.

Shaking legs carried him slowly to the door, but it was only then that he remembered the stairs. Gray made it half way down before his trembling legs caved underneath him and he fell forward. It wasn't just the physical pain he felt as he hit the wooden steps, the helplessness which came with that was worse. He tumbled down the rest of the steps before coming to a halt at the bottom. He lay there, not able to move, his whole body quivering in shock.

Damnit! I couldn't even make it down the stairs.

Natsu had been up as soon as the door of the infirmary had opened. He, for one, had had no intention of keeping said pact. He was kneeling by Gray's side in an instant, it just about the most he'd moved all day.

"Gray? Gray!"

"Wha– what?"

"What do you mean, 'what'? What the hell was that? You know you aren't strong enough to walk by yourself yet so I'm not even sure why you tried! I– what if you'd been hurt?"

If anything, the rest of the guild was more surprised than Gray at Natsu's outburst.

"I–" Gray sighed, "Natsu I'm fine." The response was almost automatic. Gray knew just as well as Natsu did that he wasn't fine at all.

"Fine? Fine! Really Gray?" Natsu banged a fist on the ground, "If I hear you say, 'I'm fine', again I'll, I'll…" Natsu didn't finish the sentence. "Just stop, okay?"

Gray nodded. It was all he could do. His muscles seemed to have seized up in shock.

"Good." Natsu snapped, but instantly regretted it. The look of guilt which spread over Gray's face wasn't what he wanted to see at all. "You are far from fine Gray, no matter how much you want it to be otherwise. You've only been out of hospital a week." He carefully helped Gray into a seated position, but never removed the steadying arm from behind his friend's back.

"I know. I just, it's so frustrating. I'm just not the same and I hate it." Gray spat the words out, tears of frustration leaking from his eyes. The room was getting colder and colder by the second as Gray's emotional state became just as unstable as his physical one.

"Gray, I know it's frustrating, but this will take time."

"Time? What comfort is time? I've lost all control over my body, over my mind, I'm not me anymore. Time will do something, but I can't wait that long. Not when I know what I used to be like."

"Gray, you need to calm down." Lyon spoke gently. He'd noticed as the onlookers had begun to pull their cardigans closer despite the sunny day outside. "What innate magic you have left is rising out of control." Lyon knew he'd done it the moment the words had left his lips. They had not yet told Gray what the spell had sacrificed, though they were sure that deep down Gray could feel it too. The spell had taken from Gray what was already weakened in him at the time.

"Wha- what?" Gray stuttered. His hands began to shake as he stared forlornly up at Lyon.

Shit.

"My magic?" Gray tried to form a simple snowflake in his palm but nothing happened. He tried again, still nothing. He closed that same palm into a fist and thumped it onto the ground. It left him only with an aching fist and no less problems than he had before. "No. No, no, no…not that too."

An anguished yell was torn from Gray's lips as the room grew icy cold.

Lyon had heard of this happening. Where an elemental mage cut off from their connection to their magic in any way found a sort of inborn magic instead. The problem was though that it was very powerful, and, of course, very hard to control. It was all Lyon could do to try and keep the raw emotional magic at bay.

"What do I have left if I don't have my memories and I don't have my magic?" Or Natsu. Gray's words were only just audible through his, dry, angry sobs. "What is the point?"

"Gray." Lyon repeated. "You need to calm down or we are all going to freeze."

"Can't…"

"Yes, you, can."

"Gray!" Natsu called out, taking his friend's hand he let the warmth of his fire spread form that spot throughout the room. He knew how Gray was feeling. The number of times he'd set lost control while learning to use his fire, Natsu had lost count. The more annoyed at his mistakes he'd become the more his fire had raged. The same was happening here. Natsu kept the ice surrounding just him and Gray, while trying to get through to his friend.

"Gray. I'm sorry I yelled. I am. I've caused you stress again. I understand that, but you need to try and calm down. Please."

Gray drew in a deep breath. His shaking hand gripped even tighter to Natsu's. With a nod, Gray took in another deep breath. The cold, however, still didn't waver.

"Gray. Listen to me. You can do this. Prove to yourself that you can get better. You can do this."

"Can't…"

"Yes you can, I know you can. You're gonna have to or we'll both freeze. You're not used to the cold like you used to be, your fingertips are already turning blue."

Natsu waited, it could have been minutes, could have been seconds, but eventually he felt the cold beginning to recede from the point where his hands touched Gray's. Slowly but surely the chill left the air and the guild breathed a chorused sigh of relief.

At the bottom of the stairs, Gray still shook, tears still leaking from his eyes as he squeezed them shut. "I'm s- sorry…"

"It's alright Gray, you don't have to be." Natsu shuffled forward, and not knowing what else to do, carefully sat Gray up again and pulled him into his arms. "It's not your fault." They sat like that until Gray's breathing had evened out and the tears had finally stopped. How long that was though, Natsu wasn't sure.