#that i've learned i'm also allergic to the stuff that's supposed to STOP the allergic reaction

[woodelf68]

Not sure if or when you're going to hear from me again; I have a leg clot and the leg's in really bad shape as far as pain and swelling, and the big problem is, the last time anything a doctor ever prescribed for me worked was probably like 30 years ago. Pain meds and anti inflammatories don't work, blood pressure pills caused difficulty breathing and a racing, pounding heart. I've had s badly swollen right leg for years, and looked into getting compression stockings a long time ago -- but they're all nylon based, and guess what one of my many allergies is? (Absolutely could not wear nylon against the skin, and my leg was already swollen beyond the largest size offered anyway.) So...heading for the hospital days after I should have (for reasons see details under the cut) with the leg having gotten even worse and not having even a tiny hope that the blood thinners and whatever else the doctors are going to try to get the swelling down are going to have the slightest effect.

Woke up around 5 am Tuesday night, excruciating pain in my leg when I tried to move to get out of bed. It went all the way up from my ankle to my groin, my best guess was it had somehow twisted badly and spasmed in my sleep? I'd already been in severe pain for the previous two days after one of the top bones of my spine went out, so my skull was locked in a tilted forward position, couldn't really open my mouth, too nauseous to eat anyway, felt like I was on the verge of constantly throwing up, too dizzy to even just read fic. So I went into the chiropractor; unfortunately I need someone to give me a ride, I chose the closer one who is okay as a maintenance guy if you keep up a regular schedule, but I hadn't been able to get in a couple of months (not through lack of trying! he keeps much shorter hours than he used to and has recently been going out of town a lot), My better, original chiropractor, is a much longer drive away, but he actually puts his hands on you and feels the bones and makes sure your neck will turn in both directions. The one I saw just does a visual check and I should have stressed more exactly in which way my head felt locked, because I left not feeling any better and with no advice on my leg either. And I am 100% sure that the further away chiropractor would have heard my leg pain symptoms and known exactly what was wrong, because he had already noticed my leg swelling and remarked on it in the past and asked what was being done about it. (Trying without success to get blood pressure down was the answer at the time.) And his office is really close to the hospital, so I could have gone in the ER right after I left. Plus HE would have actually used his hands to make sure my neck was turning in all the directions it was supposed to and that would have been fixed.

As it was, I was left to do my own internet research when I got home, and a niggling memory from somewhere led me to look up blood clots, and the symptoms were a perfect match. Unfortunately, with my skull still jammed forward and tilted down, had another day/night of constant nausea, dizziness, diarrhea whenever I tried to force a few nibbles of anything down, plus the intense leg pain. Wasn't sure I'd be able to get out, but was desperate enough to try a bath to see if that would help the leg. And while I was actually in the bath, yeah the pain was so much better if I lay still (although I was also trying to press the swelling upwards like a stocking would have). Was in there a long time, by the time I got out the high barometric pressure was dropping, which allowed some of the congestion pressure in my forehead to ease, which helped the nauseas, and the swelling around the base of my skull to ease just enough that I was able to get my jaw to click a tiny bit wider open, enough that I was able to manage a very small and rather mushy cut up apple and a few slices of thin cut lunchmeat on some soft white bread. First thing I'd had in days, and my stomach immediately startling gurgling madly and kept it up for hours, but it stayed down and I collapsed exhausted into bed in the early morning. It had nearly been 48 hours since I'd slept, and that kind of seemed the most important thing at the moment. Got up around sunset. Leg no better, possibly worse, but was able to eat a soft but normal size meal without a problem. (neck still an issue but bearable atm.) Thurs. night realised I couldn't go to my dr's office, since they no longer open on Fridays at all, so the plan was go straight to the hospital Saturday, but after being up all night Friday, was really sweaty and in horrible pain and hoped a bath would help at least somewhat again, but the leg was in so much worse shape by then it didn't really and having to keep the water so much colder than comfortable because it felt scalding on the swollen leg made me feel even worse. Didn't think I'd ever be able to get out of the tub, because the right leg just wouldn't bend back at all, and I was so exhausted by the time I'd dried off and dressed as much as possible, I had to lay down briefly just to catch my breath. The pain is agonising, can't even touch the skin let alone pull up a sock and nothing will fit on my foot as far as footwear goes. I've probably been up thirty hours by now, having trouble breathing and just finally had a bowl of cereal while I wrote this because I didn't just want to disappear and I don't have any mobile devices if I end up checked into the hospital for weeks or even die. Blood clot reaching the heart or lungs is a big possibility if the blood thinners don't work, getting covid also is since I couldn't get vaccinated due to a screwed up immune system. Can't wear any of the synthetic masks (allergic reactions to them all) and never found a cotton one that fit that I could breath through, and I have spent so much time looking for alternate styles that didn't suck into my mouth with every breath (can't breathe through nose at all, ever). Was hopeful for a tutorial I saw online but getting fabric took time and I was still trying to work out the mask pattern because I stopped being able to see out of my one old contact that was all I had left or my glasses and it's been all I could do just to survive each day atm. So all I've got is a single thin layer mask that I cobbled together that first week of lockdown when anything was better than nothing and we needed groceries, it gets soaked through very quickly and was just good enough for a super quick run into the grocery store once a week and that's it, there have been times I've felt on the verge of passing out while wearing it as it is due to having breathing issues while NOT wearing a mask. I won't be able to leave it on the whole time I'm at the hospital and if I get covid...pretty sure I'm going to die.

I wanted to get out in the afternoon and now it's 11:30 pm and my dad is like 'just wait till tomorrow' and that there will be no doctors at the hospital till morning but I'm pretty sure that would risk losing my leg or my life, it's that bad and he has no idea how it feels. He doesn't want to drive in the dark, which is understandable, and I'm like fine, I don't expect you to, I will call an ambulance, so...I'm just so tired and want to go to sleep. And I can't, and won't be able to for a long time. And my multiple chemical sensitivities kick in every time I've been in a hospital, to the point where I had to walk out after waiting for hours in a room after going there for breathing trouble; literally as soon as I got out of there and into the car with some cool air blowing on my was the first full breath I'd been able to take since I got there. So I'm scared, and I don't know what's going to happen, and I just wanted to post this so I just don't disappear; tumblr and the people I met here have been my only link to the outside world since I became almost entirely housebound about five years ago, and the only reason I keep struggling at life. Wish me luck.

(Please don't reblog this.)

[turnipstewdios]

HRT INJECTION TIPS!

Just did my T injection, and I wanna share some things that I find useful! I usually do my own shots, so some of this might not apply if you have someone else do it, but hopefully some of it will help anyway. Have something to remind you about your schedule! I have my injection dates marked on my calendar. I'm super bad at remembering timing and dates, and I would miss stuff like this all the time without an actual reminder I could look at. The one I've just done was actually a day late, because I just looked and realized I was supposed to do it yesterday. I have all the stuff I need for it in one place. Med vials, needles, disinfectant, Band-Aids, sharps box, ect. Makes it easy to keep track of. If you have trouble remembering all the steps, write yourself a list! I'm familiar enough with the process that don't always need it, but I still forget to z-track sometimes. Pop a painkiller half an hour before hand. It helps. I've gotten in the habit of doing this, but I was in a rush for my last one, and just did it without the Tylenol. And there's definitely a difference! Even with a painkiller, you'll still feel it, but it dulls it down just enough to make it easier. If you're over or even close to 200lbs, make sure you're getting a longer needle. An IM injection needs to get all the way down through your body fat and into your muscle tissue. Using a needle that isn't long enough will result in more medication leaking, less effective absorption into your tissues, and a more painful injection site afterword's. I use inch and a quarter needles. One inch works, but not as well, and three quarter inch is way to short. You can ask for different lengths at the pharmacy. If you've never done this type of shot before, and/or are nervous about using a longer needle, it might be surprising to learn that you can usually only feel the first quarter inch or so after piercing the skin. Once you've gotten down through the Hypodermis, there are way fewer nerve endings, and you'll barely be able to feel the needle at all. I usually do my own injections, and I've only had to get help with it because I balked once. But I have to fight with the instinctual "NO WANT STAB SELF" feeling every single time, and there's a lot of stuff that makes it easier. I can work myself up to start fairly easily, but the hardest part is AFTER I break the top layer of skin. I almost always get the needle just far enough in that the pain registers, and THEN the self preservation reflex tries to kick in.

This is why painkillers can be so useful. They slow down the pain signal enough for me to make it slightly deeper, and by that point, I'm almost always in past the point where the sensation stops. The one time I had to get help, it was because I had just barely pierced the skin and then pulled out several times in a row, and the mental block strengthened until I couldn't make another attempt. If you can brace yourself long enough to get that first quarter inch, the rest is much easier. If you have trouble pushing down the plunger for the actual injection, try asking the pharmacy for different syringes. I've tried out several kinds, and some are definitely way easier than others. One type I was given was so hard to push down that I lost most of a dose because I pulled the whole needle out while trying to depress the plunger. I'm fortunate enough to not have any allergies that interfere with my shots. But I've heard a lot of stuff from people who do, so I'll pass it on. The injection should hurt a bit, and might be sore for a day or so afterword's, but it should NOT be excruciating. It should also not swell, turn red, itch, or burn anywhere around the injection site. If it hurts a lot or starts acting weird, you might have done it wrong, gotten an infection, or be allergic to something you're using. Some people can have allergies to the oil used as a base for the hormones, the adhesives on bandages, or the needles themselves. Most injection needles have nickel in them. If you have reactions to piercings/jewelry, the needle might be a problem for you. Fortunately, you can usually swap out whatever's causing the problem for an alternative. There are several types of oil used for the injections, so you should be able to request one that won't cause a reaction. And nickel free needles are available. Feel free to add onto this! I'd love to hear anything people think might be helpful.

[lonelyprinceofthedark]

Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that?

[varianfortunate]

Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I

can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute.

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