#that might help

[babsaros]

hey. when cis society is oppressing a trans man, what he is experiencing is. In Fact. misogyny. i'm sorry i know none of us like to be reminded of our agab, and it hurts whenever people perceive you as the wrong gender. but a cis person hate-criming, assaulting, verbally abusing, etc, a trans man is not doing "transandrophobia" because they do not perceive him as a man.

they perceive him as a woman failing at her gender, as a woman who has been seduced and lied to and manipulated because women are so easily led astray, just like it says in the bible. they perceive him as a woman who has been mutilated. they perceive him as a dyke that needs to be fixed. if they are hate-criming him because they *do* perceive him as a man, because he passes well enough they aren't thinking he could be trans, then they're doing so out of homophobia, perceiving him as a gay man, a pervert, a sissy, a danger to children. OR, they are being transphobic but specifically because they think he might be transfeminine instead. when cis society oppresses a trans woman, they are able to do it on multiple levels at once. She's a woman failing at her gender, a dyke that needs to be fixed. Or she's an evil and grotesque crossdressing pervert, a rude caricature, a danger to polite society. she will never be doing enough to escape oppression entirely, no matter if she gets every surgery she can and wears makeup every day and passes perfectly, because she lives under a patriarchy, and she's a woman, so she lives in a panopticon, and HAVING to get surgery and wear make-up to be respected IS oppression, especially if the alternative is being hate-crimed.

trans women (and trans men who pass) are not experiencing "transandrophobia" when a 'queer women and nbs" event turns them away at the door for being too masculine. they are. IN FACT!! experiencing the byproducts of misogyny in a patriarchy!!! where the terfs and coward cis women running those events and occupying those spaces have been taught (sometimes through experience, sometimes by men, sometimes by women) throughout life that men = stronger and more dangerous than women ALWAYS. That they need to protect themselves at all times and always be vigilant. That men and women can't be friends without sexual tension (and so as queer women the mere existence of what they perceive as a "man" is a threat). That women need a separate sports league because they can't possibly compete with someone who has even a little bit "extra" (an unquantifiable amount actually because there isn't a standard range) testosterone. That women should cook and men should fix cars. i promise you, i promise i promise i promise. it's misogyny. like!!! you don't say cis gay men experiences "androphobia", bc that's not a thing!! you sound like fucking mens rights activists guys please! you don't say a black man experiences "misandrynoir"!! because living in a patriarchy fundamentally means men do not experience oppression based on their gender. its not happening. shut the fuck up. stop walking us back to 2014 can we please take a step forward and stop bitching about this. there are genuine issues in the world and i'm frankly sick of people who should be smarter than that needing to be gently hand-held through this fucking explanation for the millionth time and still stomping their feet.

[undercat-overdog]

I’ve been thinking recently about all the comment culture discussions and the recent talk around authors’ archive-locking their fic and one of the things that bothers me is how I never really see those discussions centered around the author. The comment conversations are a mix of reasons why readers don’t comment, how to comment, and why comments are good, but I’m not sure I’ve seen something that centers the author as person. Instead it’s the broader community and its desire for “content” that’s centered: comments are good because they keep authors writing (which is, I think, broadly true though people vary in the particulars), but it’s hard to comment (also broadly true, also varies in the particulars), but lack of feedback means some authors stop writing (also also true). The goal seems to be to keep the fic flowing.

And no one is owed comments and no one is owed fic and if it’s harmful to your mental health to comment, or harmful to your mental health to keep your fic online, that’s far more important. Please, don’t take me as saying that you need to comment or that you need to keep making fic available. Reader and/or author, what is best for you comes first; what you are able to do or want to do comes first.

(As for the talk about how authors are bad for archive-locking fic and that they should be shamed and scolded for doing so? No sympathy. I have less than zero patience for that argument. It’s more than fine to feel sad or grieved that you have lost a story you loved or can no longer access it - it is sad! It’s why I download stories now. But an author can do as they wish with their creations; no one is owed fic.)

But none of this gets at the author as person. These discussions seem to return to the personal reasons why a reader wouldn’t comment and how the author as content producer is more likely to write if they get feedback, the goal to get people to comment so fic continues to be produced: put money in the vending machine so you can get a snack. But I think at least some of authorial angst is driven less by comments per se and more by the desire to be recognized and feel seen as people and not fic-producing machines. Authors have anxiety too. Oh, do some of us have anxiety!

To use me as an example, since I’m the only person I truly know: I have almost deleted fic or moved it to an unrevealed collection multiple times because of anxiety that is tied to feels of either not being seen or being seen and intentionally ignored; I almost did so yesterday. It hurts to be ignored, especially when you know that your fic was read and seen but ignored. And that would be one thing - no one’s required to like my work or my friends’ works but to pretend your story is unique when you’re clearly very, very influenced by those works to the point of rewriting dialogue and using the same plot points with the same plot items. It makes me as a person feel ignored and it is currently killing my motivation to write, because at times I am a fainting flower. (To be very clear, my reaction is me, and no one owes me feedback or whatever, or to listen to my navel-gazing.) And I don’t like when my friends and fellow authors are seen then ignored either: that very much makes me angry. But yes, anxiety. It's easy to feel invisible or to feel like you're not worth recognizing.

I do want to note that there are circumstances in which acknowledgement and recognition is owed. If you take direct inspiration from someone’s plot, or rewrite it, that needs to be acknowledged, and it bothers me when it’s not: it feels like being used. Likewise, one place readers do have an obligation to comment, barring extenuating circumstances, is if they are given a gift fic as part of an exchange or event that they signed up for.

So idk. I guess what I’m saying is that I often feel that people don’t see that there’s a person behind the ao3 author’s name and that person’s not recognized. It might be that which stings the most.

(While I used  “author” throughout, this applies to all people in fandom who create and share their works. I am an author, so that’s the perspective I’m speaking from, but there are many creative perspectives that are no less important. And of course, “writer” and “reader” are not exclusive categories and I’d guess that most of the former are also the latter. Likewise “artist” isn’t exclusive, nor “podcaster” or so on.)

One last point: I’m not sure it’s talked about how long it can take to write something? I’d guess that most of my one-shots have taken at least two or three dozen hours to write/edit/post and I’d say I’m probably of average speed (when I’m writing lol). For most authors, writing’s not quick; 5k isn’t dashed off in an afternoon but might take 40+ hours. It’s a labor and for most of us it takes time.

[justemothingz]

Thank you for 400 followers!!

For full transparency with you guys, im having a hard time with posting on this acc rn. I feel like my posts are a little lazy and half assed. Im not taking a break or anything, just an fyi ig. I take reqs tho!! I would really appreciate a prompt req. You dont have to obvs but like, dont be shy <3

Xoxo -xander

[the-travelling-witch]

Soemtimes i wonder If Hollys real name is Holly or is Holly that we know is pretending to be a Holly

Conspiracy

[preciouslandmermaid]

one struggle i’m having with my one piece live action fanfic is that since i’ve been watching the anime, i feel like the anime personalities are bleeding into me, and therefore into the fic and so like idk…i’m struggling with characterization rn

[tidekissed]

gotta calm down. yeah the thing that happened tonight sucked but it was also bittersweet. gotta focus on that part. and I will just get stuff done after class tomorrow and it won’t be too bad. I believe in myself. it’ll be ok and I will stop freaking out. and then I can do the rest of my work on Saturday and prepare for the big stuff this coming week. that could sorta define my entire career. it’ll be fine. I’m totally not clenching my jaw and having a tension related flare up. I’m fine

[risenwrites]

I wanna write right now but my brain is saying no which makes me big sad 😭

[buglaur]

laur what’s the secret to making good male sims i need to know!!

i dunno anon!! there's no secret besides slapping skin details and presets on all of them 😭 another anon asked me a while ago for my male cc essentials so i'll post that soon for you

[mmj-len-official]

Sometimes the amount of lights in this sekai is really annoying..

Explain to me, why this little- world? alternate universe? pocket dimension? idk. BUT explain to me why it's SO BRIGHT

[jelliclekay]

us tour cast absolutely do not play tuggoffelees as "brothers" and it's obvious that was only said because it was posted on the official Cats Instagram. There is no "no homo tho" going on yall just have zero contextual awareness

[rat-rosemary]

Take care!! I hope you’re doing ok

I AM HOLDING YOU IN MY HANDS AND GIVING YOU A LITTLE KISS AND MAKING YOUR FAVORITE SNACK AND PUTTING YOU IN MY NEST AND SNUGGLING YOU

^^^^^THIS IS US

(No, but like really, I'm being a bit melancholic because familial love will always be a very complicated issue for me but I'm really okay, just having some 2 am funks :] Thank you for taking the time to check in tho!!! It really means a lot <3)

[purple-is-great]

I was going to book a haircut today but my regular one seems to be taking a vacation for the next few weeks i'm still in town (good for him), so now i'd have to figure out a new one and ahhhhh that is too much mental effort for me right now

So i'm just gonna let it grow and it'll be horrifically long, ugh

[owlfacenightkit]

Can you settle an argument between me and my sister.

does the director look Irish.

Tumblr is being a bitch so I can’t give a photo via ask but look at her! She’s Irish!

I don’t know what character you’re referring to sorry

[femmespoiled]

I understand your frustration, but I'm not convinced it is a bad thing that I make it known I am cis. For society to move past the idea that pronouns in bio means you're trans, we need a lot more cis people putting their pronouns in bio. Especially those who effortlessly get gendered correctly both IRL and online, because they have nothing to gain personally. I actively use they/them for people who don't have pronouns in bio, knowing full well they're cis and take it for granted that I can tell. Because I don't think pronouns is something we should be taking for granted or be able to tell.

It's a little odd to talk about what your girlfriend said to you and not to her, but since this is where it started I will. My point is that I'm using it for you, all of the time, that I'm not just bringing it out as gotcha in a debate with transphobes. Using my cis privilege would be to not mention I'm cis because I don't have to. I would distance myself from people who need to tell people what gender they are, and I would prop up cis people who think it's ridiculous to call themselves cis women when they're "obviously just women." There are cis women and trans women, and we are equal, or at least ought to be, and me not disclosing that I'm cis is a disservice to that cause. I don't think I would be a safe space for trans people if they thought I was trans when I'm not. Just like how I disclose that I'm white, not as some positive quality but as a disclaimer so that if I do something racist I get called out on it and corrected.

I can see how it can come across as a badge of honour to be cis and white, but that's not how I see it, and I don't know how we can achieve both things. If I anonymise my gender and race I become whatever the observer wants me to be to my benefit.

this is public, this is a public post. I want you to listen to me as a nonbinary person and my girlfriend as a trans woman talking about our very own experiences, and maybe put more importance to that than pissing off transphobes or showing yourself off as an ally, which is whats coming off of what you're doing. As somebody in the issue, I don't need to convince you. I'm just saying a lot of the time it seems like cis people prioritize much more pissing off transphobes than actually listening to trans people. You're not doing it for me, I'm actively telling you what I think of cis in the bio, I also mentioned how I don't like putting white in the bio as a nonbinary poc lol because if you're racist or transphobic regardless of gender and ethnicity you should be called out. The system is racist, sexist and transphobic which because we all grew up in it turns out not just white cis people are sexist, racist transphobic.

USING YOUR CIS PRIVILEGE WOULD BE HELPING MAKE TRANS VOICES BE HEARD, instead of speaking over us.

Not disclosing you're cis normalises people not needing to know you're cis or trans, just hopefully treating you respectfully regardless of that knowledge.

Now this is the last ask I'll reply about this. Have a lovely day.

[crimsonblackrose]

Made my list for all the things to chat with my new primary care doctor. and it’s a list. 😭 It’s my first primary care doctor in the states since I was on my dad’s insurance in hs/college. I’m like weirdly tiny toy dog shaking levels of nervous which is really frustrating. I know what’s going to happen for the most part, it’s not like the annuals I did in Korea where I just got shuffled from room to room to room without anyone talking to me.

[holyhappyhour]

won't be for a few hours still, but anybody uhhh want to watch a movie or something tonight ?