#that once aziraphale is finally truly ready

[harbingerofsoup]

shoutout to aziraphale whose instinct upon realizing he’s deeply in love with crowley was to offer him road head

[jillianallen14]

Incredibly proud of Crowley and how strong/brave he is in the finale

This is gonna be really long, so if you’re in a rush, here’s a TLDR: Crowley is hella brave for confessing to Aziraphale even after Aziraphale spoke first, especially given Aziraphale’s track record of rejecting him, and I’m so proud of him. I’m also proud of him for standing his ground and not giving in because he usually always does whatever Aziraphale asks eventually. Crowley needs to learn to truly stand on his own two feet in order to have a successful relationship with Aziraphale, and Aziraphale needs to learn how to choose/put Crowley first just as much as Crowley chooses him and puts him first. Basically, in human terms, Crowley currently has an anxious attachment style and Aziraphale has an avoidant one, and they both need to get to healthy attachment styles in order for them to work.   

See how long that tldr was? That’s what you’re in for if you read this whole thing lol. 

Alright, here we go. 

Disclaimer: I love Aziraphale so much, but I think he has a lot of work to do before he’s ready to “deserve” the kind of love Crowley is offering him. I also think he is 100% going to put in that work, though. 

So Crowley’s tried to advance things forward with Aziraphale many times over their thousands of years together, and usually these advances are rejected, though sometimes Aziraphale does come around. He’s the one who suggests the Arrangement (and sort of gets rejected at first). He’s the one who is constantly pushing the idea that the two of them are on their own team. He makes grand gestures, rescues Aziraphale, and he makes a lot of sacrifices. In the 1960′s, he tells Aziraphale that he’ll take him anywhere he wants to go, just to be told, “You go too fast for me, Crowley.” I sort of count this as “run away together” offer #1 because I think that’s what Crowley is subtextually offering here. His second offer of running away together is also rejected during the almost-apocalypse. He suggests Aziraphale stay at his place when Aziraphale’s bookshop burned down and is once again rejected, though not as directly as some of the others. Aziraphale calls their friendship/partnership “fraternizing” in the 1800s. In the bandstand fight scene, Aziraphale tells Crowley, “We’re not friends” and “I don’t even like you.” 

Of course, we as viewers know that Aziraphale says and does most of these things because he’s constantly trying to protect Crowley from Hell’s punishments. We know that Crowley is what Aziraphale loves most in the world, and honestly, Crowley probably knows it, too. But I’m sure that doesn’t stop the constant onslaught of rejection from hurting and from discouraging him from ever really wanting to have The Big Conversation (the “what are we and what do you want us to be” conversation, as it were lol). 

Crowley has been relentlessly chasing Aziraphale for literal thousands of years, and Aziraphale never really gives all of himself to Crowley in return. That’s got to sting, and that’s got to be so disheartening, even though Crowley is definitely aware Aziraphale does love him/care about him. We all give Crowley shit about not communicating properly, but imagine how hard that would be when he gets that kind of a reaction whenever he does try to communicate? It would certainly not make it any easier. 

In addition to the chasing that Crowley does, he is also the one to almost always give in and apologize. We’ve established that Aziraphale says no to many of the requests Crowley makes of him. And yes, often Crowley says no the first time Aziraphale makes requests of him as well, but Crowley usually comes around. And Crowley always apologizes, even when he really shouldn’t have to because Aziraphale was also at fault or, at the very least, they should both be apologizing. We rarely ever see Aziraphale actually apologize for the hurtful shit he says and does to Crowley. Yes, we know from season 2 that Aziraphale has done the apology dance, so we can infer apologies do happen from time to time, but how often do we actually see this? Not often. 

I love Aziraphale to death, but he has a “my way or the highway” mentality, and Crowley gives in like every single time lol. (Because we know Crowley is so in love it’s not even funny and would do pretty much anything to keep Aziraphale around. #Aziraphale fell first but Crowley fell harder (or at least accepted it earlier) #I will die on this hill). 

So now we get to their fight in the finale of season 2. 

Crowley was so ready to confess. Our boy was prepared. He probably sat in that bookshop rehearsing what he was going to say over and over [just thinking about this hurts my heart lol, ouch]. Then Aziraphale comes in and Crowley literally asks Aziraphale if he [Crowley] can talk first, and Aziraphale still interrupts him (lol, Aziraphale, come on). [I really do wonder how that scene would have gone if Aziraphale had let Crowley speak first; fanfic writers, I’m looking at you]

Then Aziraphale proceeds to say Crowley’s worst nightmare lol. We can literally see on Crowley’s face that his heart is already breaking, and I’m sure he knows there’s a good chance he’s about to receive “let’s run off/be together” rejection #3. To be fair, Aziraphale is literally also telling Crowley he wants to be together, but all Crowley seems to be hearing is the “in heaven, as angels” part. So at this point, Crowley can be pretty sure the love of his eternal life is “choosing Heaven” over him once again [we, as viewers, know this isn’t really the case, but Crowley doesn’t]. 

Yet, he interrupts Aziraphale. He makes Aziraphale let him talk, he doesn’t just let himself be talked over or unheard this time, and Crowley proceeds to confess anyway and practically does the Good Omens equivalent of asking Aziraphale to marry him. Like holy shit, y’all. That takes some massive balls. 

Crowley is “rejected” (kinda-sorta; Aziraphale isn’t rejecting Crowley this time, just the “running off” bit, but Crowley sees it as a rejection of him). Fighting ensues. Aziraphale says accidentally hurtful things because he’s just as bad at communicating as Crowley is lol (ie “Nothing lasts forever” instead of saying, “You matter more to me than this bookshop,” which is what he meant). Crowley is literally beyond heartbroken, you can see it all over his face, especially when he puts the sunglasses back on. And yet he still has the courage to kiss Aziraphale? BRO. BROOOOO. I want what Crowley has lol because he’s certifiably insane for having the balls to do that. 

I’ve seen people say that the kiss was the wrong thing for Crowley to do in that moment, but I don’t agree. They were still talking past each other, and Crowley needed to do something to make sure Aziraphale knew exactly what he was offering (marriage). Crowley needed to do that because if he didn’t, there was still going to be ambiguity, which would make their eventual resolution harder in the end. I also think Crowley just wanted to kiss him out of desperation because he thought it would be his last chance and because he wanted to show Aziraphale exactly what he was saying no to, but that’s beside the point. And yes, the kiss broke Aziraphale’s heart, but I truly and genuinely think Aziraphale needed to have his heart broken this time in order for him to grow. 

Then Aziraphale once again says something incredibly hurtful and rejects him again. And what does Crowley do? He doesn’t run away this time, like he usually does. He goes out by the Bentley and stands there and watches Aziraphale. I think he did this partly out of the desire to give Aziraphale one last chance and partly out of a desire to make Aziraphale sit there and look at him as he chooses Heaven again. Balls, man, I tell you. 

And Crowley doesn’t go back to him, and he doesn’t beg him to stay. And he doesn’t give himself up completely to be with this person who can’t accept him as he is. He lets himself be known, and then he holds his ground. He doesn’t let someone fundamentally change him just for love. He doesn’t lose himself to love. 

And this leads me to my next point, which is that this fight needed to happen because both Crowley and Aziraphale have lessons to learn. 

Crowley’s lesson is that he needs to learn how to stand on his own two feet. He needs to learn how to put himself first sometimes so that he doesn’t completely lose himself to Aziraphale. He needs to learn how to say no, to really say no. He needs to learn how to hold his boundaries. He needs to develop an identity outside of Aziraphale and what Aziraphale wants/needs him to be, discover what he wants even when Aziraphale isn’t around. He also needs to learn how to clearly state and ask for what he wants and needs. I think him learning this lesson will also help with his anger issues because the kind of people-pleasing self-effacement that Crowley does for Aziraphale only breeds resentment, which comes out every time they get in an argument. 

And Aziraphale’s lesson is that he needs to learn how to really choose Crowley, not try to change him, not try to pretend he’s something he’s not. He needs to learn how to take Crowley exactly as he is. He needs to learn how to give Crowley as much as Crowley gives him so that their partnership is on more of an equal footing. Essentially, his lesson is the opposite of Crowley’s: where Crowley needs to learn how to not lose himself completely to Aziraphale, Aziraphale needs to learn how to lose himself a little bit to Crowley. I’m not saying Aziraphale is selfish because he’s absolutely not, but I am saying that his sense of individuality is a little too strong and that doesn’t exactly work when you’re trying to have a long-term, committed relationship/partnership with someone because yes, you’re still an individual, but you’re also now part of a unit. And that requires making decisions together and genuinely hearing the other person out. It requires compromising, which Aziraphale is not particularly good at. 

Crowley needs to let go a little bit and Aziraphale needs to hold on a little tighter so that they can meet in the middle. You can see this in almost all of their fights. When things don’t go Aziraphale’s way, he immediately resorts to telling Crowley he can leave. Think of this as the two of them holding on to opposite ends of a taut rope: Crowley pulls a little too hard, and Aziraphale lets the rope loosen, leaving Crowley to fall backwards on his own. Aziraphale needs to learn how to hold onto that rope just a little tighter so that him and Crowley are putting in equal amounts of effort.

And folks, they’re gonna do it. They’re gonna put in the work. They’re gonna learn their lessons. And then they’re going to kiss and make up (preferably with Aziraphale initiating the kissing this time lol, let’s give poor Crowley a rest and let him be chased for once). And then we’re going to get the most beautiful, loving, healthy relationship. But they just have to go through this first. It’ll make their resolution so much more satisfying. 

So Aziraphale, it’s time to do some chasing.  

[biceratops7]

Not to rot everyone's swiss cheese brains further,

but Aziraphale was throwing that ball for Crowley. No seriously, he was throwing that ball for Crowley.

We all got so distracted by the cheeky little "Wait and See" that we never stopped to think about what it actually means. Cause at first glance it makes no damn sense. "Wait and see" ...for what? The big ridiculous Jane Austen ball Crowley already knows is happening?

Look at the way he ushers Crowley away here. Why?? Wouldn't it make more sense if Crowley was included in the planning of this event he's fully aware of and is the result of a fuck up he's exactly half responsible for?

The reason is simple, it's because the chance to try and do something romantic for once just fell into Aziraphale's lap. At some point very early on he realized that this damn ball can finally... finally be the precisely right time, and precisely right place. And above all, safe. An "independent embassy", as he so proudly states later on. 6,000 years of hiding what's clearly a blossoming relationship under the threat of harm to both of you takes a massive toll. He doesn't really get to bridge that gap whenever he's ready. After all they've been through and how many times they almost lost each other, Aziraphale wouldn't dare do something like this without a plausible excuse. He won't put Crowley in danger, even if its to show he loves him.

So then that leaves Aziraphale with very little options, but he's doing all he can to make the best of the rare opportunities they do have. Some celebratory wine, a fond glance over some candle light (pfft, for the war effort, of course! As an angel it's his duty to set a good example on how to conduct one's self in a blitz, Obviously), etc. He doesn't just have the spur of the moment plan to invite Crowley to dance (which is what Crowley was "smelling" btw), It's about giving him this whole experience that on any other day, Aziraphale never gets to give him. He wants to make Crowley feel special, to have him walk into this beautiful, romantic place that he's never seen before and be invited to dance, to have a simple, fun time.

Unfortunately that doesn't happen, even before things go south. Crowley's way too anxious to even notice any of this. But Aziraphale doesn't let this phase him, he's waited too long and is just unshakably excited to participate in such a human expression of affection. He truly believes the shop is safe, so he patiently soothes Crowley's anxieties while firmly not letting him miss out on this romantic evening he planned.

In other words, Aziraphale has picked up the pace. He's gonna shoot his damn shot and he's gonna do it properly.

[good-soupmens]

Apply this to Aziraphale how you will, but as an autistic person, I REALLY fell for Metatron's kind old man act. I didn't notice the subtle manipulation, like giving Aziraphale coffee and saying "I've ingested things in my time" to show that he's different from the food-hating, earth-hating angels. I didn't notice him taking on Aziraphale's speech mannerisms before turning away and scowling. It was only after reading meta and rewatching twice that I was like WOAH I didn't even see that.

I can see that heaven's system is screwed up, but I literally thought "Metatron's not like the other angels." I trusted his kindness, especially given that he wanted Aziraphale to run heaven, obviously the best angel for the job. I didn't consider that he wanted to appoint him because he knows Aziraphale is powerful and has stopped heaven and hell before.

I was right along with Aziraphale when all of this went down, agreeing with him when he didn't want the job ("where would I get my coffee?") and then seeing the appeal when Metatron said he could run heaven from earth WITH Crowley. They get to keep living the life they carved out for each other AND Aziraphale can fix the corruption in heaven? I love seeing kind-hearted characters fixing broken things, and I wanted him to fix the system.

As for Crowley becoming an angel again, I didn't really think of it as changing him. He's just Crowley, and he'd keep being Crowley. He's good already. I saw it as heaven offering to right their wrong because he never deserved to fall in the first place, and they wouldn't let someone they believed is evil back in, right? I trusted their judgment of Aziraphale and Crowley. I didn't consider that of COURSE Crowley wouldn't want to go back there. Why would he??

So when Aziraphale finally told him about the offer, I was hoping he would agree. It's important, they could change things! Metatron is claiming to give Aziraphale the reins. Crowley and Aziraphale for once are allowed to be together, and Aziraphale was so ready to not hold back in their relationship. There'd be no reason to deny it or go slow, it's obvious that their love is mutual.

It wasn't a surprise that Crowley said no, and deep down, Aziraphale knew why, but he didn't understand. Crowley and Aziraphale weren't seeing how the other saw it (that Aziraphale WANTS to be together. He wants to make heaven a better place, but Crowley believes it'll never happen, and heaven means to manipulate him). They truly would be the perfect team if they were in charge.

But the problem: that's not what Metatron or heaven intends. "Give me coffee or give me death" meant that if Aziraphale didn't accept the offer, he would've been destroyed. Metatron knew he'd accept, and based on the glare he gave Crowley, I don't think Crowley was ever really in his plan. Metatron will try to use Aziraphale and his power to end the world, and he has no idea he's a pawn. He fell for Metatron's apparent kindness and got swept away with the idea that he and Crowley wouldn't have to hide.

It's heartbreaking because I AM frustrated with Aziraphale, but I know why he chose heaven. There's trauma underlying his actions as well, and he didn't need MAGIC coffee (sorry, I'm mean about coffee theory) to fall hook, line, and sinker for what Metatron was selling. He loves Crowley so much, but if his plans to change heaven worked, he'd be saving the entire world from destruction.

People are still like "NO NO NO, how could he leave Crowley? He must've been hypnotized" when he is putting the WORLD first. That's not to say he won't regret it immediately, miss Crowley the entire time, or even change his mind, but it all happened so fast, and Crowley seemingly gave out on him. He refused, said "good luck", and started to leave. They didn't communicate with each other. I don't think Aziraphale was leaving him forever, but he thought "I HAVE to do this". Crowley is right, but Aziraphale can't see it another way.

Now he has to try his best to change heaven. In the end, he'll see the mistake he made and owe an apology to Crowley, but he has to figure it out on his own. After it's all said and done, it could be the last time they hold back from each other. Going through an angst arc of THIS magnitude would be worth it, and Neil Gaiman is a genius

[ticklishfiend]

Built To Laugh (Good Omens)

(Lee!Crowley, Ler!Aziraphale)

Summary : Aziraphale has been laughing at Crowley all day. Maybe it’s the demon’s turn to laugh for a change?

A/N : this fic takes place after s1 but before s2! so obvs no spoilers for s2 here 😁 i also have not gotten my laptop fixed unfortunately so if there’s any errors it’s prbly cause i wrote this on my phone which i’m Not used to LOL

Word Count : 3304

hope u enjoy!! :)

. . .

When Aziraphale gets in these moods, Crowley can’t help but smile. Well, internally smile. He sorta prides himself on the air of mystery that surrounds his emotions. So he bites his tongue as Aziraphale giggles at him, laughing at how utterly annoyed Crowley looks by his antics.

Aziraphale had found an old joke book in the shop. Well, not really old, when in the hands of beings that have existed since the literal dawn of time. Actually, it couldn’t have been published more than 30 years ago. But it was old in the sense that Aziraphale hadn’t touched it since it had been brought in all those years ago.

Aziraphale told a vague story to Crowley about how it had landed in his possession (this was, of course, after telling him a truly horrible knock-knock joke that Crowley demanded an explanation for why he was being tortured so unjustly). But that story doesn’t matter anymore. What does matter is how giggly Aziraphale has become since realizing how irritating this all was to Crowley.

“Blehck, HORRIBLE, just fffffucking—You’re the angel, I’m the one supposed to be torturing you right now,” said Crowley, exaggerating his hatred of dad jokes just a bit (not by much, these jokes truly were horrible) just to see Aziraphale do that thing when he giggles, covering his mouth and clutching that wretched joke book.

“That was a really bad one, wasn’t it?” Aziraphale said once he collected himself.

“Yes, yes, it was, now will you please stop before I groan myself to death?”

“Always with the dramatics, you are,” said Aziraphale, before grinning, “Just one more?”

Crowley grimaced. “Grk…for the road, I suppose.”

Aziraphale beamed. “Yes, for the road!” He stuck his nose right back into the book, and it wouldn’t be such an unfamiliar sight if he hadn’t been looking up at Crowley every other second just to watch the demon stir.

When Crowley heard a gasp from Aziraphale, he knew he’d found his grand finale. Maybe he’d saved the best for last? (And in the angel’s opinion, he had. Just not in Crowley’s favor.)

“Alright. Are you ready?”

“Get on with it.”

“Yes, but are you ready ready?”

Crowley stuck an eyebrow up. Aziraphale just kept smiling. ‘He really is in the best mood today, isn’t he?’ Crowley thought.

“Crowley, do tell me…when is a door not a door?” His cheeks were plump with the force of his giddy smile.

Crowley blinked. His arms were crossed, laying back lazily against the bookshop’s old cushion chair. He tapped his finger against his arm impatiently.

Of course, this just made Aziraphale smile bigger.

“Come on! You have to play along, it’s part of the fun!”

“For you, angel, part of the fun for you.”

“Maybe you’ll start having fun too if you work with me here.”

“You’re working me, that’s what’s happening right now.”

“Just ask and this will all be over with,” Aziraphale raised his brows for a moment like he does when he gets all smug and silly. Crowley had to bite his tongue not to smile at that.

“Ffffffine,” Crowley sighed hard in feigned exasperation. “Well, I just don’t know, angel! When would a door not be a door? Seems like a paradox to me!”

Aziraphale bit his lip. “When it’s ajar!”

Crowley could only stare blankly at the tittering angel before him. It was a bit hard to conceal his own giggles as Aziraphale burst into laughter seeing Crowley’s unamused expression. But he held steadfast, refusing even the slightest chortle. Crowley hadn’t seen Aziraphale laugh like this in what felt like a millennia.

“You’re a silly one, Aziraphale. A real splinter in my ass.”

Crowley hadn’t seen a more angelic sight in so long. He felt his own face grow warm watching as Aziraphale tried collecting himself, but found he’d been caught back in his deadly case of the giggles. It was just precious.

“You think you’re a real comedian, don’t you?” Crowley said while trying to cover his own smile slyly, elbow now propped on the arm of the chair as he pushed his face into his hand. He tried looking as annoyed as possible.

Soon, Aziraphale caught his breath, a stray giggle leaving every few moments despite himself. They were now staring at each other, both too lost in the moment to think too hard on the implications of it.

But, as it usually goes in moments like this, Aziraphale put the brakes on first. He sat the book on the side table next to him before pushing himself off the chair. “Well, that was rather fun. But I do have some paperwork to fill out regarding the shop. Upstairs always feels the need to know how it’s running,” He gave Crowley an empathetic smile that almost said ‘It did feel good, but you know it can’t last.’ At least, that’s how Crowley interprets it. It’s the same smile he’s been giving him all these years, after every little moment the two shared.

It wasn’t the type of smile Crowley wishes to see on Aziraphale. He rather liked the real ones, with Aziraphale’s round cheeks going pink, the ones with the little lines appearing next to his squinted eyes. Those made him feel warm. This smile always feels distant…more cold.

“Yes well…guess I should be goin’ then, wouldn’t want to distract you from your heavenly duties,” Crowley made his voice go all funny on the last words, almost snarling. Maybe he was trying to make Aziraphale laugh. If he had been, it didn’t work.

“Oh you’re more than welcome to stay! I do believe I have some wine left over from last time, if you want to get started before…well, I thought I could maybe join you after I’m finished,” Aziraphale looked bashful. Apologetic, almost. But he chippered up quickly, pointing a finger to the sky. “Heavenly duties!” He repeated the demon’s words with a hummed chuckle, before retreating away to his study.

He’s always been like this. Leaving before Crowley could accept, so once Aziraphale returned from work it’s like it was entirely Crowley’s decision rather he’d stay or not. Like Aziraphale hadn’t offered in the first place. But that was fine with Crowley. Because even if Aziraphale pretended it hadn’t happened, they both knew it had, and there was a silent agreement between them to not bring it up.

So Crowley did wait in that back room of the shop, where all the giggles and jokes and flirtatious annoyance had grown that lovely tension to start the evening off right once Aziraphale returned.

He didn’t, however, start drinking yet. Crowley rather liked to start sober when they drank together. That way it felt more like an activity they were starting together rather than one Aziraphale was just joining him on.

It was around two hours Aziraphale worked before returning. He walked into the back, giving a surprised smile seeing Crowley had indeed waited for him.

“Ah, you grabbed the good bottle, I see,” Aziraphale wiggled his fingers in the air like one would before diving into a slice of cake. He noticed the bottle had been unopened, and did not mention it.

“Dunno, seems a good night for it,” Crowley popped the cork out with ease, filling one glass he’d brought in for Aziraphale before taking a swig straight from the bottle.

“Oh? And why is that?” Aziraphale sat on his preferred chair before taking the glass and sipping in a dignified manner.

Crowley wiped his mouth with his sleeve. “You just seemed in a good mood today s’all. Figured we could end the night right, proper wine to get your mind out of all that blasted paper.”

“Ah. Well, I suppose I was in rather high spirits earlier. I don’t know what it was about all those jokes, but at the moment they really tickled my funny bone,” Aziraphale took a sip and hummed delightedly.

“Right tickled you were. Could hardly catch your breath, and they weren’t even funny jokes, angel. Really, I’ve got to introduce you to some actual comedians cause it was just a sad display of your humor.”

Aziraphale looked into the glass, swirling his wine. He gave a shy smile without looking up at Crowley. “Maybe it was partly so funny because you just seemed so…agitated by it all.”

Crowley’s eyes widened a bit, surprised Aziraphale actually admitted to it. He couldn’t hold back a smile anymore, and he’d blame the wine for it if you asked. “Oh so I’m what got you all giggly earlier?”

Aziraphale rolled his eyes, but he too couldn’t keep a smile off his face if he tried. He’d also blame the wine. “Oh hush, you wily serpent. It was just funny seeing you so irritated at simple jokes.”

“Nah nah, we’re not moving past this. You think I’m funny!”

“I never said that. If you must know I was…laughing at your expense,” Aziraphale hid his mischievous smile behind the glass as he took a sip.

Crowley gaped in amused disbelief. “So you were making fun of me then? Right, okay, I see how it is-”

“Well it’s a little hard not to when you have such a silly reaction to it!” Aziraphale gestured his free hand towards Crowley as if to say he’s doing it right now.

“Silly reaction? Whaddya mean silly reaction, all my reactions are perfectly rational and mean-spirited and never, never silly,” he growled the word as if to prove his point, but he only succeeded in making Aziraphale giggle again. He turned his head to hide his smile.

Aziraphale took a quiet sip from his glass again, his eyes peering over the edge to look at Crowley. Once he put the glass back in his lap, he said, “I rather like when you’re silly, darling.”

Crowley blushed deep. Darling? He—Aziraphale rarely ever used the word darling. But every time he’s done it these 6000 years (which, again, hadn’t been too often) it sent something wicked through Crowley’s system.

Crowley changed the topic quickly. If he didn’t, he’d probably combust from having to think too hard about what all that meant, and if it meant anything at all.

So they talked for a while. About nonsense, mostly. Just jabber to fill the silence and let out all the thoughts they’d been thinking and waiting to share with the other. They’d both grown just a tad tipsy at this point, and Crowley was almost ready to grab another bottle.

Mainly because he wanted to steer back to their first topic again.

“Yknow I was just thinkin’…you said you, er—that you like when I’m silly, or whatever it was you said. And I…well, I rather like it when you laugh. Has that, er…angelic quality to it. But not in a bad way, I suppose.”

Aziraphale smiled. “Oh. Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me, it’s literally in your DNA, if we even have that. Do angels and demons have DNA? I suppose not, but I mean something’s gotta compose all that’s happening here, physically I mean,” Crowley rambled, now definitely tipsy. He took another swig. “But, yeah like, there’s literally that saying, ‘angelic laughter.’ It’s all up in you, you’re built to have a good laugh.”

“Yes, maybe so. But you have a nice laugh, Crowley! So it can’t all be angelic,” said Aziraphale.

“I do not have a nice laugh. You may have angelic laughter, but I’ve got a demonic cackle. Very different things,” Crowley could feel himself blush, but it was all thanks to the wine. Most definitely.

“I have heard you laugh on many occasions, and in none of them would I describe it as a demonic cackle. If anything you’re more of a giggler,” Aziraphale reached his glass out to Crowley, and through instinct he filled it for him.

“We are not doing this, I refuse to have this argument,” Crowley said before arguing, “Giggling is not something I am even capable of. Not in my DNA.”

“I thought you established we don’t have DNA?”

“Point stands, it’s not in my bones. Giggling is-is-it’s, well— it’s childish, for one, and children aren’t typically seen as demonic.”

“After helping raise Warlock I’d beg to differ, and he wasn’t even the Anti-Christ we thought he was-“

“STILL, angel, still! Point stands, not going back on it. Let’s change the subject, let’s talk about-about dolphins or some nonsense, I don’t really care-“

Aziraphale stood from his chair, and Crowley shut up. He sat next to Crowley on the sofa.

“What are you doing?” Crowley’s voice was low and suspicious. Aziraphale sat his glass on the table, even going so far as to take the bottle from Crowley’s hand to do the same. Crowley let him, of course, but not without raising an eyebrow. “I said, what are you doing?”

“I’m glad you’ve taken that leather coat off, or this would be a much harder ordeal than it needs to be,” Aziraphale said before cracking his knuckles dramatically, waving his hands about as if to loosen them. Crowley’s brows were furrowed and eyes wide.

“That explains absolutely nothing,” Crowley leaned back against the couch, as if to say ‘nope, this isn’t affecting me at all, I’m not the least bit nervous about whatever it is you’re planning right now. I am the image of relaxed.’ His leg was bouncing.

“Well, you claim that you don’t giggle. I want to counter that argument, and I know exactly how to do it,” Aziraphale gave Crowley a devious smile, one an angel shouldn’t be allowed to pull, before wiggling his fingers in the air towards Crowley. Crowley immediately backed his body away, only getting as far as the arm of the couch.

“No, no—you cannot—this is not the direction I’m letting this conversation go!” Crowley held his hands up defensively, curling his legs into himself like the snake he was.

“Come now, you can’t handle a little friendly competition?”

“Hell do you mean competition?! You tickle me, I lose, there’s no competition to be had!” Crowley practically shouted, his nerves taking over.

Crowley had always been on the more…sensitive side, one might say. It was something Aziraphale always found a little too amusing. “You’re a demon!” He’d say, “It’s just so silly how a demon could be as ticklish as you are!”

Crowley did not find it silly. In fact, he found it to be quite the pain in his ass. How was he supposed to look all scary and menacing and demonic when pinching his belly made him fall into laughter so unlike him?

“So you admit you would giggle if I tickled you?”

“When did I ever say that?” Crowley was trying to shove Aziraphale away with his feet now, kicking (maybe too softly) at his thighs like it would do a thing. Aziraphale held his ground like a solid rock.

“Well you said you’d lose! So obviously that means you would giggle if I were to, say…” Aziraphale quickly grabbed hold of one of Crowley’s pestering ankles, scribbling his nails into the socked sole.

“GAHK! NO-!” Crowley shouted, thinking maybe if he expelled his energy through loud sound he might not fall into those giggles Aziraphale apparently thought so much of.

But he didn’t hold strong for long. Luckily, though, his feet were a little too ticklish for mere giggles. Instead, he cackled like no one’s business, so maybe he would win this argument after all.

“Stop! Ahahangel stop! I’ll kick you!” Crowley barked out through roaring laughter. He actually was already kicking Aziraphale, but it was still at his thighs like before. He was just worried he’d eventually nail the angel right in the nose if he kept up with it.

“Well, you aren’t exactly giggling, but maybe it’s just because your feet are too ticklish,” Aziraphale inquired like a scientist running a study. Crowley wrapped his arms around his midsection through his laughter.

“Yehehes they ARE! Now quihihit!” Crowley couldn’t take tickling on his feet for too long, it really was too horrible to bear. Curse this wretched vessel and its terrifyingly sensitive nerve endings.

Without saying a word, Aziraphale darted his hands to the spot just above Crowley’s knees, giving them quick pinches and observing Crowley like a specimen.

“Ohoho nohoho! Angel plehehease!” Crowley felt his resolve slipping, falling into a more giggly realm than before. He gripped onto Aziraphale’s wrists like a lifeline, not shoving him away out of pure trust. Goodness, feelings were a curse.

“Aha! I believe I’ve found quite the giggly spot on you, Anthony!” Aziraphale teased. He only ever used that name when he was trying to get under Crowley’s skin, and damn it if it wasn’t working.

Crowley hated how quickly his face began to flame, a small blink-and-you-miss-it whine slipping from his lips. “You cahahan’t do this to mehehe!” He playfully swat at the hands tickling his knees, rolling over like it’d deter his situation at all. “I’m druhuhunk you bahastard!”

“Yes yes, drunk and oh so giggly,” Aziraphale reiterated, really driving it home how he’d won their little argument. “But it’s so divine hearing you like this, I really don’t want to stop.”

God, Satan, someone help him. Not because Crowley needs the saving, but because now he’s not sure he wants to be saved.

“Ehehevil! Wrehehetched angel!” Crowley giggled, before letting out a very undemonic squeak as fingers began pinching up and down his sides. Aziraphale was practically hovering over him now, and if Crowley’s face wasn’t warm before, it was searing hot now.

“Nohohoho!” Crowley swat at Aziraphale’s hands and arms, squirming from side to side and his midsection was attacked viciously by angelicly gentle fingers.

“Why not, Crowley?” Aziraphale pinched Crowley’s lower ribs, a killer spot on the demon he was very familiar with.

“Behehecause!” Crowley had no good retort in his giggly state, head swarming with endorphins.

“Because why?” Aziraphale was mean when he was in these moods.

“You bahahastard!” Crowley flopped to one side just to protect half of himself (and also to hide his face in the back of the couch), now letting Aziraphale play with his open side like a grand piano. It was miserably fun.

Crowley let Aziraphale play with his ribs for a solid two minutes, giggling his head off into the cushion, before finally having enough and grabbing Aziraphale’s wrists for real this time.

He panted, still hiding his face in the couch. “You…are without a doubt, the most evil angel to ever be created. Just…just deplorable.”

“Oh come on. You can’t say you didn’t have a little fun,” Aziraphale spoke softly, still tipsy and stroking Crowley’s arm like it was second nature.

“I absolutely can say that, actually. Wouldn’t—wouldn’t exactly qualify bein’ tortured as my favorite pastime,” Crowley curled in on himself, if only to hide his lingering smile.

“Always so dramatic,” said Aziraphal before giving Crowley a pat and raising himself off the sofa. “Well, I don’t know about you, but I could certainly do with some more wine, and we’re just about empty. I’ll be back in a moment, dear.”

Aziraphale once again left the room, leaving Crowley to lie on his back and ponder. Thoughts of how silly that situation was, imagine one of the higher ups seeing him in that kind of state. It’d be to the pit for Crowley in an instant. Well, if he still worked for them that is.

Also, Aziraphale had been really pulling him around all day, hadn’t he? Laughing at his expense, tickling the daylights out of him when he’s utterly inebriated. Well, that just won’t do. Won’t do at all.

An angel doesn’t get to just play with a demon all he likes and expect no repercussions.

Crowley pondered some more on that. Just thoughts of revenge and a devilishly ticklish angel he can’t wait to get his hands on.

. . .

a/n : hope u liked it!! thankfully not as sad as my last one i couldn’t take more angst LMAO

[topaziraphale]

I know A/C will reconcile like they always have over the thousands of years. I know they will eventually save the world again. But I don't want this one to be so easily given. These are larger, more painful wounds to heal, and they are going to leave bigger scars on their relationship.

I want Aziraphale to truly earn Crowley back this time. I want Crowley to finally gain enough self-respect to let go, and let Aziraphale know how much he has hurt him despite understanding that he was also manipulated. He knows Aziraphale is being hurt, but he is hurting, too.

I want Aziraphale to apologize, deeply, profusely, his eyes boring through those dark lenses, hoping that Crowley will forgive him like he has done so many times over the centuries, and for Crowley to just give a curt nod and say, quietly: "Okay. Thanks."

If we end up with a reverse scenario of "We have to work together," I want Aziraphale to be the one asking and Crowley to be the one saying "No." When Aziraphale asks why, Crowley might say something like, "Because we're not friends. We're on opposite sides, aren't we?"

I want to see Aziraphale work for this friendship, this love, the world, in a way he himself didn't think he was capable of. I want him to stand firm once he chooses his side again. I can't wait to see him fight his greatest battle within himself yet. And I want Crowley to take his time with the aftermath. I want him to properly feel that pain and betrayal, I want him to process things first before he is ready to forgive.

Season 3 is going to be so, so emotional, and it's going to make that gentle ending in the South Downs cottage all the more sweeter.

[weird-little-book-lover]

The Moment A Demon Became A Human

It’s not supposed to be like this.

Throughout season one and 90% of season two, Good Omens is a wonderfully fanciful, intelligent, story of the battle of good and evil.

Collectively, our favorite character tends to be the unnamed character: the energy between Aziraphale and Crowley.

This is why you always see cosplay with both characters and never just one.

The actual cosplay is the energy between the two.

Good Omens is a show that allows us to escape into a universe that reflects back the beauty of humanity in all its imperfections. A show that says:

“Heaven and Hell be damned, it’s humanity that creates the meaning of life.”

A show that reminds us what it means to love someone because you so deeply understand them.

Everything changed in an instant in season two’s final episode. (oi, spoilers ahead).

I wasn’t ready. The switch was so fast.

He’d been a demon with a heart of gold and a sharp wit for four years. Longer, if we’re talking about the book.

For me, the joy of Crowley has been that he really sees everyone for who they truly are and, despite being a demon, he accepts each person as such. No judgment, just acknowledgment and dry humor.

And then he realized.

He’d been pushing it down. Ignoring it. Though I suspect he was more aware than Aziraphale, Crowley had a sense it was there, but he was managing it.

Throughout season one we see Crowley have moments of softening to help Aziraphale process change and loss. To help when Aziraphale’s angelic view of the world becomes cracked by outside forces (and the ever-present threat of Armageddon).

At the end of season two, a pair of mere morals break Crowley’s defenses by naming what he has never dared to: He loves Aziraphale more than anything else in the known universe.

He never smiles again.

His almost cartoonish face has transformed. He looks at Aziraphale without his eyes darting about. Without his bored fidgets. Without his annoyed skulking. Without his eyebrows arched dramatically.

In 30 seconds of screen time, he has become human.

His face is calm. It is real. And it is hurting. He has to try. He’ll likely fail, but that’s never stopped him before. For us watching, it is haunting.

Crowley takes a leap of faith.

Have you ever deeply loved someone and had to take that leap of faith where you let go of all your fears and hope to God the other person catches you? It’s such a core part of the human experience, and yet 9 times out of 10 it is a leap that ends in a fall.

This is what Crowley does. He takes the leap. He confesses, voice cracking, everything in him breaking, that all he wants, all he needs, is Aziraphale.

Yet all Aziraphale can see is that he only has value if Heaven accepts him.

A Hail Mary.

As Aziraphale argues they’ll be happy together in Heaven, and Crowley tries to explain why they can’t exist inside a system not built for them, Crowley is overtaken by emotion and tries one last Hail Mary.

He rushes to Aziraphale and pulls him in for a kiss that is symbolic of everything Crowley is offering. All the love, passion, and commitment to always be there for Aziraphale.

Always. All ways.

Aziraphale rejects this gift with the quiet response “I forgive you.”

While everyone else is talking about the kiss, it’s the moment after when Crowley sighs that hit me.

It's the sigh for me.

It’s a sigh of resignation.

He’s buried this for so long, and now he must bury it once more.

Crowley can see Aziraphale loves him back, surely he can feel it, but he’s always seen the world and creatures in it very clearly. Aziraphale, much like Nina, is still struggling with a toxic relationship. There is no room for Crowley. And this time, Crowley can’t help him. Aziraphale must rescue himself, or resign them both to a loveless existence.

Aziraphale makes a very human mistake. Crowley reaches a very human depth.

It’s not supposed to be like this. A fanciful show just killed our favorite character.

And it did so by becoming human, first.

[desi-yearning]

I understand why the ending is so controversial. But people are picking sides now, about who is the better one of them both, you have to realise that it's not Aziraphale or Crowley. It's always Aziraphale and Crowley.

I've just read some people making Crowley the bad guy for asking Aziraphale to come to Alpha Centauri with him and also kissing him like that. If anything Crowley ever was, he was hopeful. Not selfish. He always was a person of hope especially in the case of Aziraphale and himself. And when he saw both the Dukes of Heaven and Hell, Gabriel and Beelzebub do exactly that, his feelings of hope only intensified. He wanted to get away from all this and simply go off together. He didn't want to simply run away to another planet because both Heaven and Hell are at their throats but it's because he really wanted a future for him and Aziraphale, a future where they didn't have to keep up appearances by not talking to each other and pretending they are arch enemies or whatever load of crap that is while being bone deep in love.

And that kiss. They've both known each other since the beginning of Everything, have collaborated for various things and even saved the World once, so of course Aziraphale loved him too.. right? This was Crowley before the conversation ever happened but after it did, he realises that.. no? Aziraphale is not ready for a future with just them, he's ready to give them up for the sake of doing good and being the supreme arch angel. But of course Crowley noticed the pining and pained looks that Aziraphale kept giving him from a Very long time. And that kiss, was the only chance he's ever going to get to express how he truly feels about them. Crowley thought he will maybe test the waters or look at it like his final one, we'll never know. But this was the first and possibly the last time he gets to kiss his angel, so he took the chance.

I'm surprised people are still trying to find fault in his actions and intentions after my poor boy has been through so much and has always remained so strong. Crowley is resilient and he is so so so in love.

[unforgivablego]

About the kiss.

As an Aziraphale type of person (I think so), this would’ve been so unexpected that I would punch Crowley in the face, and then also between the legs. Despite how much I love someone and how I feel, if we quarrel (in my case), a kiss is not a solution or an argument (especially when it is the first kiss, especially when it is so unexpected and especially when it is not mutual). But this is me and my manners as an aromantic and asexual person.

Sorry, but as I wrote here once before, Crowley’s kiss was neither romantic, nor sweet, nor gentle, nor kind. It was quite rude, cruel and left no choice. If I were Aziraphale, I would feel, at a minimum, forced towards him, and at a maximum, raped (if this is not the same thing, of course). And these are not the words that you want to pop up in your head when you talk or think about your one love.

It was a desperate move by Crowley to get his point across. He just didn’t find another way out, didn’t find words and here we are. And that was really cruel to Aziraphale. Yes, unintentionally, but cruelly.

"Here's what we could have."

It was manipulation. It wasn't a love kiss. It was demanding, sudden, angry, non-reciprocal, rude and parting. The moment Crowley decides to kiss Aziraphale, he already knows that he will leave after it. Yes, there is hope in him, but it is an illusory hope. He understands that even such a desperate step will not convince the angel. And Aziraphale allowed himself to answer Crowley for a while, but not in the way he REALLY wanted.

Aziraphale can't. He can't stay with Crowley. He can't afford to run away when he has so much on his shoulders. He cannot agree to leave with Crowley and hide all his life in eternal escapes. Knowing him, Aziraphale will blame himself for what he didn’t prevent, what he couldn’t prevent. If he has even the slightest chance to change something, he will grab it. That's why he can't run away with Crowley. Even if in return he receives Crowleys love.

Crowley knows this. And he still makes the Aziraphale choose.

And he says “I forgive you” (for this kiss, for your cruelty, for your rudeness, for your refusal to fight).

His love is so strong that even if Crowley did something like this to him, he actually truly forgives him. There is no hidden connotation in this phrase. Aziraphale just confesses his love again.

Crowley escapes. He refuses to be with Aziraphale. He refuses to fight together against Heaven. He's not going to solve their problem. He's going to break the angel's heart.

And Aziraphale forgives him for this.

Because Crowley lost hope. Because Crowley gave up. Because Crowley runs away again. Because Crowley is ready to leave instead of staying. Because Crowley never understood why the angel was doing all this. And for whom?

And Aziraphale will forgive him again. And when Crowley returns, he will accept. And when (Lord, I beg you!) they finally talk, I think this will be a decisive step in their relationship. Difficult, but correct and the last thing before allowing ourselves to simply love each other.

They are both - BOTH! - guilty. In mutual egoism towards each other. In the fact that they consider only their own point of view to be correct and refuse to listen to someone else’s. The fact that they don’t listen to each other. The fact that they don't even try to listen. The fact is that they don't talk about problems. They are not brought up for discussion. And this is important in a relationship. Even if your main intention is to protect, you still have to give each other a choice: agree or refuse help. Otherwise, nothing meaningful will happen between them.

[mamuscript]

They Had To

After we watched the season finale - and then rewatched it, then rewatched both seasons, then watched about a hundred hours of YouTube edits (that last one may have been just me) - we had an hours-long argument about who was “at fault.” After the last ten agonizing minutes of GO2, my hubba was very anti-Aziraphale.

I can’t really blame him for feeling that way - that “I Forgive You” is seared into my soul in a way I’m not ready to forgive Mr. Gaiman for, yet. It was crushing, and the way you could see the hope draining from Crowley is a study in expertise by David Tennant.

I heard someone say recently that you know a storyteller has done their job when you get to the end and, however much you never saw it coming before, once you arrive there, it seems as inevitable as the sun rising in the morning. 

This is the beauty, the agony, and the absolute mastery of the final fifteen minutes of GO2.

Because neither Crowley or Aziraphale could have done anything else in that scene. 

Crowley was cast out of Heaven for what we have reason to believe was a minor infraction. He’s spent millenia witnessing the cruelty, unfairness, and incompetence of Heaven. He looked into Gabriel’s face as the archangel told (who he believed to be) Aziraphale to shut his stupid mouth and die, already. In the deleted scenes, we see that he witnessed Heaven giving a demon permission to humiliate Aziraphale, just for fun, before they killed him - which is the height of cruelty; cruelty for cruelty’s sake. There is no question in Crowley’s mind that Heaven are the bad guys just as much as Hell - possibly more so, since they wear a cloak of righteousness while they commit their atrocities. At least Hell is honest about what they’re doing.

There’s no world in which Crowley could ever agree to go back to working for Heaven, and part of the pain of that scene is that if Aziraphale had taken a moment to really think about it, he would have realized that.

But.

First (and I identify with this way too strongly), Aziraphale is a company man. He knows that there are problems in middle management, but he still believes in the rightness and goodness of God. As far as he’s concerned, Heaven isn’t the archangels or the Metatron; Heaven is God. And while God, as far as he knows, is responsible for the eviction from Eden, and for the flood, and for allowing humans who start off in abject poverty to be judged by the same standards as those who are given more advantages, he also truly believes in the ineffability of God. He was told, long ago, that all of these things are part of the Ineffable Plan, and Aziraphale would never think to believe that anybody was deceiving him - either intentionally or otherwise - without being explicitly told so.

And crucially, he hasn’t seen what Crowley has seen. He didn’t witness - and hasn’t been told about - whatever transgression Crowley committed that resulted in his fall, and however much he has grown to love Crowley for who the demon has become alongside him, he doesn’t have enough information to know that Crowley didn’t deserve to be cast out at the time. And Aziraphale was not there when Gabriel told him to die; he didn’t look into Gabriel’s face and see the pure, cold malevolence there, the proof that however much goodness there may still be in God, She isn’t actively calling the shots, and the beings who are are ruthless and capable of malevolence. He hasn’t had that experience and doesn’t have that depth of understanding.

But most importantly, Aziraphale is, at his core, a being of justice, of love, of goodness. He has seen things like the flood, he knows there are problems, and he has been powerless in the face of them - but now, he can help. “I can make a difference,” he says. Aziraphale, because of his core nature, cannot see an opportunity to make the world and Heaven a better place and not seize it. 

He can’t have made any choice other than the one he made. And if Crowley had taken a moment to really think about it, he would have known that he was asking the impossible.

So, for my money, the tragedy of that scene didn’t begin when Crowley said, “And you told him just where he can stick it, then?” even though that was the beginning of the most painful moments of the series, perhaps of all of television (at least for me). All of that - Crowley’s rejection of Heaven, Aziraphale’s rejection of Crowley’s declaration of love, their brutal separation - was inevitable the second the Metatron put the offer on the table. 

(Which, among other things, means that the Metatron is a deeply manipulative villain.) That’s what makes the final scene so riveting, so painful. It’s not only that we want these two beings to be happy and in love and together, and due to pride and miscommunication they aren't. It’s that with who each of them is in their soul, as things currently stand, they are incapable of being together.

[marta-bee]

Let’s talk about good and evil, Good Omens-style. 

Pressing on with reading the book, I’m maybe two-thirds or three-quarters through the first chapter. Still not through! But War has made her first appearance, Aziraphale and Crowley are finally sobered p and decided to be god-parents, and I think I’m ready for another mental break. It’s hilarious. It’s harrowing. I am marveling at the sheer genius of the writing. And feeling for Aziraphale being stuck in his own goodness. He’s a cheeky bastard what with the bible-proof pages and all, but still so hemmed in by what he’s defined himself to be. 

Mostly I think I need to take a break, because there’s some really interesting philosophy going on here and I need to unpack it a bit to really feel his weight. 

Last week I’d stopped with Crowley and the Spanish Inquisition. Still feeling the *oomph* of that passage; but this week starts out with its flip-side, which had such an aura of hope to it, for me.

And just when you'd think they were more malignant than ever Hell could be, they could occasionally show more grace than Heaven ever dreamed of. Often the same individual was involved. It was this free-will thing, of course. It was a bugger.

That’s one of my favorite things about humanity, how we’re capable of what my human-bound sense of morality connects with goodness. We’re both. We’re potential. And I think for Crowley, that potential is almost more important than what we potentialize into. Maybe it’s that humans have creativity and a spark that lets them do things stolid heaven and decrepit hell just can’t conceive of. But there’s something very attractive to Crowley about this ability change, to make a choice and not just do or be what they’re predestined to do or be, that’s very attractive to Crowley. If anything connects to what I think of as morality in this world, I think that ability for growth is it. A capacity to surprise and spersede your programming, for lack of a better term.

There’s actually a really delightful exchange I’d forgotten about, on the concept of free will, leading up to that snippet I quoted earlier:

Aziraphale had tried to explain it to him once. The whole point, he'd said-this was somewhere around 1020, when they'd first reached their little Arrangement-the whole point was that when a human was good or bad it was because they wanted to be. Whereas people like Crowley and, of course, himself, were set in their ways right from the start. People couldn't become truly holy, he said, unless they also had the opportunity to be definitively wicked.

Crowley had thought about this for some time and, around 1023, had said, Hang on, that only works, right, if you start everyone off equal, okay? You can't start someone off in a muddy shack in the middle of a war zone and expect them to do as well as someone born in a castle.

Ah, Aziraphale had said, that's the good bit. The lower you start, the more opportunities you have. Crowley had said, That's lunatic.

No, said Aziraphale, it's ineffable.

Aziraphale. The Enemy, of course. But an enemy for six thousand years now, which made him a sort of friend.

Crowley reached down and picked up the car phone.

Being a demon, of course, was supposed to mean you had no free will. But you couldn't hang around humans for very long without learning a thing or two.

Angels and demons can’t change; except of course they can. That’s the whole point of Satan, as Crowley points out later:

"What will happen to the child if it doesn't get a Satanic upbringing, though?" said Aziraphale. "Probably nothing. It'll never know."

"But genetics-"

"Don't tell me from genetics. What've they got to do with it?" said Crowley. "Look at Satan. Created as an angel, grows up to be the Great Adversary. Hey, if you're going to go on about genetics, you might as well say the kid will grow up to be an angel. After all, his father was really big in Heaven in the old days. Saying he'll grow up to be a demon just because his dad became one is like saying a mouse with its tail cut off will give birth to tailless mice. No. Upbringing is everything. Take it from me."

"And without unopposed Satanic influences – "

"Well, at worst Hell will have to start all over again. And the Earth gets at least another eleven years. That's got to be worth something, hasn't it?"

Now Aziraphale was looking thoughtful again.

"You're saying the child isn't evil of itself?" he said slowly.

"Potentially evil. Potentially good, too, I suppose. Just this huge powerful potentiality, waiting to be shaped," said Crowley. He shrugged. "Anyway, why're we talking about this good and evil? They're just names for sides. We know that."

"I suppose it's got to be worth a try," said the angel.

Satan can change. Satan did change. And Crowley, too, in the first passage; he decided to make a choice when that’s supposed to be very much a human thing. Even Aziraphale shows a real capacity to, not change his mind perhaps, but let himself be swayed, certainly That whole conversation between Aziraphale and Crowley over what to do about the antichrist reeks of motivated reasoning on his part.

"That's it, then," said Crowley, with a gleam of triumph. He knew Aziraphale's weak spot all right. "No more compact discs. No more Albert Hall. No more Proms. No more Glyndbourne. Just celestial harmonies all day long."

"Ineffable," Aziraphale murmured.

"Like eggs without salt, you said. Which reminds me. No salt, no eggs. No gravlax with dill sauce. No fascinating little restaurants where they know you. No Daily Telegraph crossword. No small antique shops. No bookshops, either. No interesting old editions. No" – Crowley scraped the bottom of Aziraphale's barrel of interests-"Regency silver snuffboxes . . . "

"But after we win life will be better!" croaked the angel.

"But it won't be as interesting. Look, you know I'm right. You'd be as happy with a harp as I'd be with a pitchfork."

He’s supposed to want good. He’s with heaven, that’s the definition of being heaven-aligned, to want good; and taking better as a synonym... yeah, probably if the win the Apocalypse (which they probably would), life would be more good. And that thought makes Aziraphale desperate; he’s croaking the words there, see? He’s torn between what he’s supposed to want and what he actually wants, and it’s all coming to a head. 

Then Crowley said it won’t be as interesting, something else entirely, from the heaven- or hell-aligned, and that’s when he starts to crack. It’s a rebellion, or at least a falling (sauntering vaguely downward, if you prefer); because he’s choosing something here too outside what he’s supposed to be working toward: not better, but more interesting. And thank Someone for that.

Let’s go back to that first exchange, though, where Aziraphale and Crowley are discussing free will. Because Crowley makes a really interesting point, both narratively and in terms of real-world philosophy.

Hang on, that only works, right, if you start everyone off equal, okay? You can't start someone off in a muddy shack in the middle of a war zone and expect them to do as well as someone born in a castle.

Ah, Aziraphale had said, that's the good bit. The lower you start, the more opportunities you have. Crowley had said, That's lunatic.

Aziraphale’s line is one I heard often enough from the Protestant-Christian side of my upbringing. Blessed are those who suffer for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. And Crowley’s right: it’s nonsense to think people who are fighting all day every day to survive will ever be able to do as well at this free choice sanctification scheme as people who have the luxury of a bit of breathing space. Free will, for one thing, is meaningless if you don’t actually have two options to choose from; and the space (mental and otherwise) to actually make a decision.

Personally this isn’t the interpretation of Christianity I’ve found most useful, or consistent with the way I read the (Christian) Bible. It’s not that suffering gives you more opportunities for growth; there’s a sense of to-whom-much-has-been-given-much-will-be-expected shot through so many of Christ’s parables (the Five Talents, for instance), and of course there’s the line that it’s easier for a rich man to pass through the Eye of the Needle than to get into heaven; if you know your Biblical archaeology, that’s essentially saying you have to be stripped free of your baggage, which is the one thing rich people won’t be able to do.

Put another way: those who suffer, those who are poor and week, are blessed not because their suffering lets them achieve more heaven-points, but because they don’t need them precisely because they’re small. Whereas those given more resources, more is expected of them. I don’t think Crowley would approve of that kind of valorizing of smallness, but intellectually at least it makes more sense than what Crowley’s been twisted to think is correct.

I’m more a fan of the Aristotelian approach, myself. There are virtues that ought to motivate actions, but at the same time it’s all tied up in what’s possible for an individual. So a person who’s, say, OCD and deals with excessive anxiety might show more genuine courage in crossing the street than someone without that psychology would need to run into a burning building. Of course there’s certain maladies that make it impossible to exercise true virtue and we should feel pity for those people even if we don’t think of them as virtuous. But at least within certain limits, courage isn’t just about doing the most extreme thing, even necessarily what the situation demands, because courage is being guided by fear in the right way so we behave courageously; and if you’ve got more fear to navigate you need better courage than most to do the navigating.

That’s a much better way of thinking about things to me. Afflicted people aren’t better than those with a better starting out point because they get more heaven-points (whatever form that takes) or reach some better external state than people with a more favorable starting point; it’s that to even get to the same result as other people, they need more oomph, more grace, more whatever, because of all they’re pushing back against. It’s not fair, but it seems at least a more generous interpretation of the reality we’re all trying to struggle through.

Getting back to the book, though, I find it really interesting that Aziraphale and Crowley think of good and evil in these terms. It’s a sign of the headspace Heaven and Hell drive them toward, I think; to the point Crowley says they’re just labels for our side, those words don’t actually mean anything. 

But he’s still shaken by Barcelona. He’s still begging with Aziraphale- test them, sure, but not to destruction. He doesn’t want humanity to be ended, and it’s not for the more self-centered reasons that drive Aziraphale here, those lovely little bits of life on earth he finds so enjoyable. There’s a sense that he shouldn’t allow that to happen. There’s a should, an ought, a moral imperative still, even for a demon who’s been trying to tempt humanity toward his side for six millennia here. And while I don’t want to indulge on simple moralizing, there’s something at his core that won’t let him just let history do its thing. It may not neatly align with what heaven or hell is pointing for, that’s really the point, but there’s still an ought in play that’s somehow independent of all that.

Frankly, I find all that fascinating, not to mention a damned compelling narrative.

And War’s up next, I see. I need a readerly break, but when I get back, I think things are about to get fun.

[cleothelittlerockstar]

Okay but also, just wanna make something clear to some people that apparently missed half the ending, neither Crowley nor Aziraphale are truly in the wrong or right in that situation.

(Oh also, I forgot to do this to.my previous posts because I just talked about the ending in them as in general without that much detail but this will be slightly more detailed so imma just put an extra spoiler warning here just to be safe:

Spoiler warning for the ending of Good Omens S2 under the cut!)

✨🧡✨🧡✨🧡✨🧡✨🧡✨🧡✨🧡✨🧡✨

While I am angry with Aziraphale, or well, not angry, but thoroughly disappointed, I feel like a lot of people are just overlooking the fact that in his head, when he is being offered that position as supreme archangel of heaven™ title, he is not looking at it as an "Here is a title for you so you can once again join Heaven" offer;

He is looking at it as an "Here is the title that can change everything and help you build a future for you and your demon boyfriend if you just work hard enough on it so you two can still stand on your own side and have everything you wanted once everything is fixed" offer.

Because believe it or not, Aziraphale, as brave or stubborn as he can be at times, he is like a lost kid the others. He is naive, easily influenced by those around him.

And when Metatron (Fuck that guy btw) offers him that title, in his mind, it is for the best of everyone involved. Because in his idealised version of heaven and righteousness, that ticket to being on almost the very top of heaven, yeah that is the ticket to him and Crowley finally being able to be together.

BUT ALSO, when Aziraphale wants to work with Crowley, he doesn't want him to change to be an angel, because again, in his poor naive heady there is nothing to change. When he looks at the angel Crowley was and the demon that Crowley became he sees no difference because the same passion and excitement is still there.

To Aziraphale, angel Crowley and demon Crowley, they are one and the same.

And that's where we run into the problem of their relationship as of now.

As Nina said:

They never communicate.

They talk, they talk a lot, but even in the confession scene, even after The kiss™, never once did either of them ask what the other wanted.

Because they both just assumed the other wanted what they did, and because they operated on that same system for thousands of years, when the time finally comes, so soon and so suddenly, when Crowley finally confesses...

They finally have to face the problem in their relationship. They. Never. Communicated.

As romantic as it is for Crowley and Aziraphale to go off together into the stars, I feel like people need to remember that:

That is Crowley's idea, that is what he wants. He never asked Aziraphale if he wanted that as well, he just assumed.

And never did Aziraphale make it clear to Crowley that he loves him unconditionally, be it angel or demon, and he just assumed that Crowley would be okay with going to Heaven with him because they never talked about it.

Both of them, no matter how much we want to pretend they are, are not ready yet for a relationship with each other. They still need to learn to communicate, to make it clear not just what they want , but also to learn to accept what the other wants, hell, what the other needs.

So to cut the long story short because I am not yet ready to get murdered by undying Crowley defenders, which fair;

Both of them are at fault in this scene. Aziraphale, yeah, more so, but Crowley is also not completely out of fault for everything that happened in my opinion.

🧡✨🧡✨🧡✨🧡✨🧡✨🧡✨

And with that, thank you for reading and have a wonderful rest of the day ✨🧡✨

-Cleo

[randomfandomss]

oohhh okay then...alright

What a devastating yet perfect finale. I, of course, anticipated that after Season 1 Aziraphale would have a lot of growing to do for his and Crowley’s relationship to ever work, and guessed that would be taken up this season in some capacity.

...and I am not sure what to say. He still has complete faith in heaven when time and again they have proved themselves to be utter pieces of shit. He believes in himself, that he can make a difference which, yes! He can...but I strongly believe that one has to have the guts see the reality and acknowledge it, with all its goodness and faults in order to be able to really make a difference. So far he has just refused to do so.

He said, “Nothing lasts forever”, yet he has always refrained from questioning the “ineffable plan”. Staying in the comfort of what has been defined as “goodness” by god, never questioning anything at all even though, it has been proved through whatever we see of their shared history that Aziraphale has always grown, learned something and generally become a better angel whenever things had been questioned and the right answers had been given.

He has to break out of this cycle and see things as they are, clearly. About heaven, about self imposed restrictions, norms defined by people who only care about power and don’t give a fuck. He as learned how to live on earth but has he been truly been awake all this time? He needs to start seeing things in full color, that have so far been distorted by his black and white perception for the world. He believes and hopes but the thing he is placing belief in is fundamentally broken.

On the other hand Crowley, to say I've been heartbroken over what happened to him would truly be an understatement and I'm not sure what else to say...So I will leave it at that. The way he found a companion in Aziraphale, someone who accepted him for all he was and tursted him. Someone who SAW him, because I think thats what he would've always wanted. To be understood, when no one, neither Heaven nor Hell ever did. To have this dream shattered into a million pieces once again. When he had finally made peace with his existence, with who he was, all the good and the bad bits, and found some rest from the incessant questioning. When he was ready to just...be, Aziraphale asked him to go back to the place that had hurt him profoundly, SO MUCH. Aziraphale asked Crowley to be restored into what his idea of what good and right is, the ideal existence for him. Crowley has never been an angel nor a demon and Aziraphale knew him since the beginning...how could he not see that?!?! He was the ONLY one who SAW it.

Is he trying to fool himself or Crowley? Aziraphales ideal existence is where something never goes bad or is never wrong, that, in itself is toxic and I believe the next season will obviously focus on that.

I know he desperately wanted to be with Crowley for eternity and live the “ideal” life with him but his definition of ideal itself is wrong. He needs to challenge his beliefs and inspire others to do so as well if he wants to really LIVE and not just exist.

Anywho that is Neil Gaiman’s department, SO!!

SO, I will WAIT to SEE where they go next and I will looking out for that SUPER MEGA APOLOGY DANCE from Aziraphale :D

[knaccblog]

Ready Now

"Aziraphale has told Crowley he loves him, many times by now and showed him that he loves him many more times as well. But there are still years and years of rules and habits learned through their long association that are complete rubbish now, harmful even. It's going to take awhile to sort them all out." aka Crowley and Aziraphale are both messes but they love each other so they're going to work it out. Also available on A03

One action packed road trip and one world saved (again) later, Aziraphale and Crowley are finally back in London but things are very different than before.  For one, Heaven and Hell are officially and forever off their backs. No more being technically traitors or ex-employees or anything, just a miraculous and permanent severing of their individual allegiances (without any real change to their state of being) and a promised immunity from any further meddling. It was a bit dizzying to think about, to be honest, so often Aziraphale would not, instead choosing to focus on the most exceptional, truly unbelievably wonderful thing that had happened along the way which was that Crowley had accepted his feelings (once Aziraphale had finally found his courage and told him) and returned them eagerly with words and kisses of his own. There may even have been a slight drizzle happening throughout the whole confession that was neatly blocked by a nearby apple tree, though to be honest, the details of everything besides how it felt to hold Crowley in his arms were a bit fuzzy. 

They'd been home for about three days so far (and by home, Aziraphale means holed up in his bookshop) and they'd gotten up to all manner of things that Aziraphale had barely ever even hoped to try together. He'd even, after a bit of convincing, attempted sleeping, which he'd found enjoyable enough, at least on a short term basis and as long as Crowley was curled tightly around him. This morning had started much the same way as any other had since their return; lots of kissing, breakfast, more kissing, talking about some inane subject for hours on end, kissing and so on. Aziraphale had been assuming that the terribly similar morning would roll on, transforming into a terribly similar afternoon when, to his surprise, a knock had come on the bookshop door while Crowley was in the back finding more wine. Aziraphale had nearly sent whoever it was away when he'd just heard, barely audible through the heavy wood and glass, the declaration that they were, in fact, from the International Express Delivery Service and had a package for a Mr. Fell that required a signature if at all possible.

Aziraphale had sprung up, hurrying to catch the delivery person before they slipped away with a book that he'd ordered nearly two years ago now that had somehow, between the pandemic and a surprising chain of postal mix-ups, miraculously gotten waylaid just long enough to arrive at the bookshop very close to his own permanent return to it. Funny old world and all that. To be honest, until that very moment, Aziraphale had basically forgotten all about it but the instant he opened the package, he felt his breath catch in his throat. The cover, a beautiful, polished crimson leather and it's contents, pages and pages of detailed facts about snakes paired with equally detailed gouache paintings of them were collectively even more stunning than they had seemed in the auction catalog all those years ago. He'd opened the book reverentially to the beginning and, without looking up, drifted his way carefully through the familiar obstacles of his bookshop and over to his couch. This was going to take some seeing to, he was certain.

**** 

Aziraphale looks up some time later from a particularly stunning illustration of a Red Bellied Black Snake to see Crowley pacing around the bookshop aimlessly. He tilts his head. "Is there something going on? Perhaps something you need to do, my dear?"

Crowley's gaze snaps up to meet Aziraphale's as he stops pacing. "Right, I'll just- get out of your hair then?" Crowley puts his sunglasses on and starts to head towards the door.

Aziraphale feels a sudden rush of panic. Something seems off. "Crowley, wait!" 

Crowley stops dead in his tracks and turns back to him. "What?"

"I-" He waves a hand in little circles. "I don't understand what's happening. Do you have something else you need to do or not?"

Crowley grimaces. "Technically... no."

Aziraphle sighs. "Then why are you leaving?"

"Well," Crowley shrugs, "you're busy-"

"Ahhhhh of course!" Aziraphale nods and smiles. Now he understands everything. How long had it been since he'd even looked up from his book? An half an hour, maybe an hour even. He hadn't meant to get so absorbed really. Crowley must be going mad. He wonders why he hadn't just wandered off all on his own really. Perhaps he hadn't wanted to leave without saying anything but he also hadn't wanted to interrupt Aziraphale? Crowley always had been terribly considerate of him. "Well," he smiles, "Just make sure to take the keys when you go then?"

Crowley's mouth flattens. "Right," he nods stiffly, his tone brittle. "Wouldn't want to be in the way." He heads for the door faster this time.

Before he even quite knows what he's doing, Aziraphale's snaped and the door becomes temporarily uncooperative. Crowley gives the handle a little tug and then sighs.

Aziraphale's stomach sinks. He's a fool. It's suddenly quite clear that he'd been nearly completely wrong with his previous theory. Luckily for him, he's starting to see the shape of it now. There must be a second conversation happening, one he can't perceive, that's making Crowley very upset. He sighs and squeezes his eyes closed. "Crowley, I don't know what I said but please just talk to me. I can tell you're quite upset."

Crowley jiggles the door knob one more time and then turns around. Even in the sunglasses, he won't meet Aziraphale's eyes. "It's just, I've been here what, three days? And you started reading and I figured, ya know, that was my sign to go. I mean, you're bound to get sick of me sometime. I'm just trying to, mmm, keep ahead of it. Stay out of your way."

Aziraphale's chest aches at that and he frowns. "Crowley, I love you-"

"Right," Crowley snaps, "and we wouldn't want you to change your mind about that now, would we?"

Aziraphale feels like he's been punched in the stomach. He closes his book completely and sets it on the arm of the couch. "Alright, that's enough of that. Come over here right this instant." His face is stone and his tone brokers no argument. 

Crowley squirms as if fighting himself and then goes limp. "Fine, since you haven't given me much of a choice." He saunters over, his feet dragging a little. "Here?" he says, standing in front of Aziraphale, his tone a bit mocking though which of them he's making fun of isn't clear. (Probably himself)

Aziraphale shakes his head and pats the couch next to him. "Here please."

Crowley visibly rolls his eyes, even in the sunglasses, and then plops down, a wild sprawl of limbs, "And wh-"

Aziraphale reaches across and grabs Crowley by the far shoulder, pulling him rather effortlessly down so that his head is now resting in Aziraphale's lap. Crowley's jaw falls slack and his cheeks darken just slightly. 

Aziraphale immediately tangles a hand in Crowley's hair and lets out a contented sigh. Ever since they'd gotten together and he'd started getting to touch Crowley whenever he wants, doing this had always made his heart skip a beat. Somehow it's even more lovely than he'd always thought it would be. He hopes that someday he'll get to feel it at all of the wonderful lengths he'd missed out on touching over the years. "I love doing this." Aziraphale beams down at Crowley as he continues to run his fingers through his hair. "Do you like it as well?"

Crowley stumbles for a moment before finally getting out, "Mmmmm yeah. Course I do." He smiles a little shyly and looks away. "I- I don't know what this has to do with anything?"

Aziraphale sighs and meets Crowley's eyes as best he can with the sunglasses. "I need you to understand something: I don't really ever want you to go away. Like of course we'll do separate errands sometimes or you'll get bored and go for a drive or I'll go to a book sale and you won't want to come. Or perhaps you and Muriel and the girls will go to some loud concert and I'll stay home. And that's normal and fine. I'll even be happy you're having a good time without me. But I am never going to be gladdened by just your absence, you understand? I'm always happiest when you're here with me."

Crowley swallows. "You can't mean that-"

"Do I sound like I'm joking?"

"Well, no but-"

"I have spent enough time playing coy and pushing you away and I'm sick of it. But also," Aziraphale frowns, "you have to talk to me. I am, unfortunately, not a mind reader."

"Honestly, that's for the best," Crowley says, under his breath. "Don't know what I'd do if you'd been reading my mind all these years and just never told me. Discorporate out of sheer embarrassment probably."

Aziraphale rolls his eyes just slightly.

"Right, sorry, what do you want to know again? It's just the," he gestures at his own head, "fingers are a bit… distracting and all."

"I can stop-" Aziraphale teases, ceasing his gentle touches for just a moment.

"Don't you dare!" Crowley's hand flies up as if to grab Aziraphale's wrist. 

"Fine," he smiles and resumes his caresses. "I wanted you to clarify why you were so upset. Did I do something?" 

"Nnnn nah," Crowley shrugs. "I mean I already said it, didn't I?  You were reading and I didn't want to be in the way."

"And that's it? Nothing else?"

"I mean," Crowley grits his teeth, and then frowns. He looks like he wants to run away again.  "In the past," he says, voice small, "you really were asking me to go? When you'd do that." 

Aziraphale frowns. Of course he's right. Aziraphale is aware that he'd often pushed Crowley away over the years. That's why he'd tried to be crystal clear on how he feels about Crowley being around now. He just really hadn't thought about how confusing this new state of their relationship could possibly be feeling from Crowley's side. Aziraphale has told him he loves him, many times by now, and showed him that he loves him many more times as well. But there are still years and years of rules and habits learned through their long association that are complete rubbish now, harmful even. It's going to take awhile to sort them all out.

Aziraphale nods. "Right, I see. That is why I started by saying what I did. But perhaps… what if I promise to tell you directly if there ever does come a time when I do need you to go for some reason? No more you needing to read between the lines?"

Crowley quirks an eyebrow, his voice hesitant. "You think you can do that?"

"I can very well try," he sits up a little straighter.

"Alright, so from now on, I just what? Have an open invitation to the bookshop and you just want me milling around whenever I want to be, yeah?"

"That is the idea, yes."

"Well alright then," Crowley looks stunned. "I'll… do that then." They sit there in quiet bliss for a moment before Crowley adds, "Not to look a gift horse in the mouth but uhhhh, why exactly are we sitting like this?"

Aziraphale startles. "Oh yes! Sorry about that. My idea, if you'd be amenable, is that we could sit like this while I read. I thought it sounded… nice." Aziraphale smiles shyly.

Crowley opens and closes his mouth a few times before he says, "Mmmm yeah, that could work." 

"Oh good," Aziraphale beams down at Crowley. 

The corners of Crowley's mouth turn up just slightly.

"You don't think you'll find it too boring?" 

Crowley takes off his sunglasses and tucks them into his jacket pocket. His small smile gets a bit larger. "I think it'll take me a while to get sick of this, Angel." He grabs Aziraphale's hand and kisses it gently before setting it back in his hair and closing his eyes. "Now, don't let me keep you from the wonderful world of ophiology. I think there may be one that's a rather good likeness of me somewhere around the halfway mark if memory serves."

Aziraphale smiles and chuckles slightly. Then, sighing contentedly, he figures out how to reopen his book, now one handed, and settles in for a nice long read, certain that there is no better way to spend a Thursday afternoon in the entire world. 

[cream-and-punishment]

Good omens 2 spoilers:

Ok but those last 10 minutes of the show hurt so bad...

I think one of the reasons the final scenes hit so hard is because the "parting" was very unexpected giving what happened just a few minutes earlier.

Just a few moments before "disaster", we see Nina and Maggie talking with Crowley and inviting him to be more open and honest about his feelings (the same goes for Aziraphale too, even if he is not there). While he keeps saying that he and Aziraphale "talk all the time", Maggie points out an important truth: "but you DON'T really talk" and that's a truth that Crowley needs to hear; he realizes that they didn't actually talk about their feelings for each other and he decides in that moment that he is going to declare his love to Aziraphale.

This conversation gives us hope, we think they will finally open their hearts to each other and be together, but that's not what happens and that's why Neil Gaiman is a great writer.

Unfortunately, it makes perfect sense that all those years of indecision and missed opportunities to be honest with each other and address their feelings come back to haunt both Crowley and Aziraphale right in THAT moment.

This season made perfectly clear that they love each other and that all they want is to be together, but they want to do it in a different way. Aziraphale wants to create a new heaven, one that allows Crowley to be back and to be free to be his true self, but Crowley takes his invitation as a " I want to change you, because I don't like you enough the way you are right now".

According to Crowley, they already created "their heaven" on earth, they don't need anything else and I think that's why there is so much tenderness in the way Aziraphale says that "Oh Crowley" before the "nothing lasts forever" line; I think that Aziraphale finds the idea of living forever in their own little world very naive ; he is still an angel and he still wants to be an angel, especially now that he is a chance to change the way heaven works. That's the big difference between the two of them in my opinion: Crowley is ready to leave behind the whole heaven/hell stuff, while Aziraphale is not.

So here we circle back to the "You DON'T really talk" line: unfortunately that's true; in all those years, they didn't talk to each other in a completely honest way, not only about their feelings, but also about how they felt about their future and how they wanted to live. I mean, they both want the same thing, to be together, but they ended up misinterpreting the other's intentions, thinking that one was rejecting the other and vice versa, while their actions were truly just moved by love and by the desire to protect the other.

Despite everything they did to him, Aziraphale is still moved by blind fate and I think that's what infuriates Crowley the most; but that goodness, that capacity for forgiveness is a fundamental part of who Aziraphale really is, just as well as his "rage" and resentment towards heaven are part of Crowley (obviously his feelings are very understandable, since in this season we saw once again how cruel heaven can be to whoever rebels).

some thoughts about (a possible) season 3

I think it would be very intresting in season 3 to know more about Crowley's fall, so that we can understand why he rejects completely the idea of going back to heaven.

On the other end, I think that Aziraphale will finally come to terms with reality: he is going to realize that he can't really change the way heaven does things, that he is just another pawn in God's hands and he needs to make a choice and decide if it's worth leaving behind everything he loves (including a certain demon) for his unshakeable fate, just like Gabriel did.

[ourcwnside]

🫦 Enraptured by the fireworks, one hand held a half-empty champagne glass close to his heart. The other sought out Crowley’s, interlacing their fingers while his attention drifted subtly from the fleeting lights in the sky above to the one truly reliable aspect in his life.

The fireworks were great, he was reasonably sure of that, but Crowley hadn't been paying any attention to them at all. It had been far more enjoyable to watch the angel's eyes light up as he watched them. So as Aziraphale's focus gradually shifted from the display up above to the demon at his side, Crowley was already ready to meet his gaze.

He let Aziraphale take his hand---when had he ever not?---and for once in his life, he decided not to overthink. There was only a fraction of a moment's hesitation, a blink-and-you'll-miss-it pause, and before the final chime of the clock had sounded, Crowley leaned in and brushed his lips to Aziraphale's.