#that thinks absolute silence leading to chaos confusion and anxiety is better than stating things clearly

[puddygeeks]

Wᴇ Cᴏᴍᴇ Rᴜɴɴɪɴɢ - Tʜᴇ 100 Bᴇʟʟᴀᴍʏ x OC - Cʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 22: Uɴɪᴛʏ Dᴀʏ

Masterlist

Episode: Unity Day

Rating: Mature

Summary: During her time in the Skybox, Indigo formed a precious friendship with fellow outcast Octavia Blake, the girl under the floor. At first they thought their departure from the oppression of the Ark was a blessing, but quickly came to rely on Indigo's keen survival instincts. The 100 struggle to meet the challenges of Earth whilst Bellamy strives to lead the wavering teenagers and his irresponsible attitude fuels constant conflict with Indigo. Their only shared interest is in protecting Octavia and Indigo beings to suspect that there is a deeper cause to Bellamy's seemingly irrational choices. As the consequences of his actions mount up around him, he finally begins to confide in her and she discovers more than she ever bargained for. 

Fandom: CW’s The 100

Pairing: OC x Bellamy Blake

LONG TERM ONGOING PROJECT :)

My writing is entirely fuelled by coffee! If you enjoy my work, feel free to donate toward my caffeine dependency: will work for coffee

Warnings: Mature content. Non-consent, language, sex, self harm, suicide, anxiety, helplessness, torture, captivity/confinement, alcohol/drug use.

Chapter Twenty-Two

I stalked into the tent and dropped onto my bed, unable to stop the tears from coming now that I’d opened the floodgates. I cradled myself and cried as I allowed myself the time to release the feelings whilst I was alone. Just as I was feeling relieved that Ocavia wasn’t in the tent, the entrance opened and she stepped in.

“Indie!” What’s wrong?!” She gasped as she rushed to my side and squeezed me into her grasp.

“It’s nothing, it’s just been a hell of a day.” I muttered as I wiped at my face and tried to stop the flow of tears. I tried to downplay the stress that I felt but my body refused to comply.

“It doesn’t look like it’s nothing.” She acknowledged as she rubbed my arms soothingly. “Come on, you’re always there for me, let me return the favour.” She remarked as she surveyed my miserable expression and I felt my lip wobble. I stayed in her arms and cried without saying anything for a while. I conceded to allow her to comfort me and she sat in silence at my side. Once I finally started to feel calm, I dried my face and looked over to her with a tired stare. 

“It’s just been a lot since we got here.” I sighed in the hope that she would allow me to leave it at that, but she studied me closely.

“Yeah, you can say that again. Maybe it’s time to practice what you preach and stop trying to be so tough all the time.” She scoffed, before softening her tone and squeezing my hand reassuringly. I tried to hold in the words that fought to escape me and once I met her sympathetic eyes, I knew it was useless. 

“It would help if you and your brother weren’t the most stress inducing creatures known to man.” I groaned openly and I genuinely meant every word. “When I first entered the Skybox, I couldn’t imagine ever having someone to care about again. Now I’m here and I have you, Bellamy, Monty, Jasper, I care about all of you and it’s so stressful. Then you add the rest of camp and I don’t know any of them that well, but I am just desperate to not lose anyone else.” I rambled. “I’m starting to think it was easier to not care.” I mumbled as I felt her assessing eyes on me. I felt genuinely exhausted from all of the worry and I wasn’t sure if I could carry much more of it.

“You include Bellamy pretty high on that list?” She smiled coyly and even though it was genuine, I couldn’t help but feel that she was still trying to suggest something.

“God, yes! I care about Bellamy.” I breathed, unable to avoid her infuriating questions through my exhaustion. “You want me to say it so bad? I'll say it! I care. He’s an exhausting, unpredictable idiot but he isn’t a bad person. He makes bad choices, absolutely. But since I’ve been here, I’ve seen that he is capable of deep kindness and compassion, and that he really does care about people so deeply that he has to constantly focus on acting like he doesn’t. And I understand that better than I’d ever like to admit.” I spat, allowing my annoyance at her prying to come to a head. “I want to help him make better decisions and it is the most thoroughly frustrating, mind fucking experience of my life.” I confessed in a more spiteful tone than I’d intended. Octavia laughed in response and I looked at her in surprise. 

“Yeah, you’ve got him sussed completely.” She smiled with a refreshing attitude and peeked at me in understanding. “I’m glad he’s got you to talk to. He doesn’t deserve it, but I’m glad.” She added with a hint of bitterness. I did want to find out what had happened between them but I was too overwhelmed to pry into that right now. I sighed and looked at her in exhaustion. 

“You lied to him earlier. Why?” I relayed what I had witnessed with a feeling of dread in my stomach. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to sleep as long as this played on my mind and I really did need to sleep.

“What choice did I have? Tell him I did it?” She looked at me in bewilderment and I shrugged in response. It was a struggle to think of something to say that could guide her to reflect on her decision in my current state. I rubbed my eyes and groaned at her with annoyance. 

“You need to talk. I’m sick of carrying both of your secrets and being stuck between you all the time. You’re a family, trust each other.” I spoke as if it were the most obvious answer and she glowered at me in response. “I don’t care how you do it, but you need to tell him. And he needs to tell you everything too. You can’t just keep hiding things from each other forever. Put your grudges aside and clear the air, for my sake.” I pleaded, before fidgeting in a way that indicated that I wanted to go to sleep.

“I promise I’ll think about it.” She breathed and I decided that this was good enough for tonight.

❖ ── ✦ ──『✙』── ✦ ── ❖

I woke the next day feeling fresh from practically passing out in exhaustion the night before. I sat up to see that Octavia was gone, but I didn’t panic as she’d been doing that a lot lately. I decided to take my own advice and trust her, as I knew that I couldn’t continue living with the level of stress that I had been since we arrived. I took my time to get dressed, clean myself up and brush my hair as best I could. 

I emerged from the tent to find that it was almost midday and surprised myself at how long I’d managed to sleep. I collected some rations and settled in a quiet spot to eat. I watched the others milling around camp and I was relieved to see that there didn't seem to be anything particularly going on. It made a pleasant change to the chaos that had been almost constant lately and I absorbed the quiet atmosphere gratefully.

“Hey, I missed you last night.” Bellamy appeared from behind with a fond smile and sat beside me comfortably. “I can’t even believe I’m saying it, but the plan worked. The Chancellor pardoned me.” He announced quietly as he kept his view trained to me. Everything about his demeanour had changed and he seemed more relaxed than I’d ever seen him.

“Oh so I’m talking to the newly pardoned Bellamy Blake?” I asked in a dramatic tone and he chuckled back in an easy manner. “How does it feel?” I enquired with a hopeful interest.

“Surreal.” He answered as he gazed thoughtfully out into the camp. “But good, like a weight has been lifted.” He confirmed and I smiled earnestly at him, watching his calm expression. 

I could feel the relaxation in his body and it seemed as if it was washing over me too. I couldn’t tell if it was simply because being around someone calm helps to put others at ease, or if it were actually seeing him look so much happier that relieved my stress. We sat in a comfortable silence, enjoying each other's presence before Bellamy noticed movement and seemed to suddenly remember why he approached me.

“You missed the gun training groups this morning.” He clocked me casually and I felt myself involuntarily straighten up at his words.

“That’s fine, I don't want a gun so I don't need the training.” I declared without facing him. I tried to still sound relaxed, but even the very mention of guns had caused tension in me. He made a quizzical expression and raised a brow at me as I tried to pretend that I didn’t notice.

“You need to have a gun Indie, just in case. I think there’s some more sessions this afternoon so I’ll let you know.” He explained in a matter of fact tone. I smiled at his easy use of the nickname, noticing a slight fondness in his voice as he said it, but I couldn’t focus on that now.

“I’m not going to class Bellamy, I don’t want a gun.” I repeated firmly and I could feel myself becoming guarded against him. I didn’t want to be shirty with him but I was unimpressed that he was pushing the matter. He sighed at my reaction and adjusted his voice to speak gently. 

“Are you afraid of guns?” He investigated as I found myself enthralled by something in the distance that just happened to be in the other direction from him. 

“No.” I defended as I tried to convince myself as much as him. I didn’t like the idea of admitting that I was afraid of anything, especially something that would paint me as foolish. “I’m just more of a hand to hand kind of girl, I’m perfectly fine with my dagger.” I remarked in a poor excuse as I shifted uncomfortably. I slid myself slightly further from him and he clearly noticed it.

“Daggers aren’t always going to do it though. Wouldn’t it be better to be able to keep people from getting close enough to keep giving you black eyes?” He argued, brushing a hand on my cheek. His tone forced a smile out of me and I knew from his words that this was coming from a place of concern for me. Before I could argue any more, he got to his feet. “I’ve got a couple of hours free, come with me.” He suggested and I couldn’t think of a believable reason to decline his offer. 

I followed Bellamy into the woods in a confused silence. He was still relaxed and I took this as a good sign, but I had a slight knot in my stomach as I followed him into the unknown. He led me into an opening where there were some empty metal containers set on tree stumps and my stomach lurched at the sight. Although I couldn't admit it, the very idea of shooting a gun set a terror in me. I was comfortable with defending myself and in doing what was necessary to survive, but there was something about guns that gave me a feeling of unpredictability that I didn’t get from knives. I could only think it came from my lack of understanding around them, but I felt that there was a monumental amount of responsibility involved in owning one. Bellamy turned to face me with an encouraging smile. 

“If you don’t want to go to class, I’ll teach you myself.” He drawled with confidence and I squinted at him in uncertainty. 

“Bellamy, I appreciate what you’re trying to do and I’m totally behind the idea of guns for the guards, but I don’t know if I can do this.” I mumbled as I stepped backwards defensively. He followed me encouragingly and carefully took hold of my hands. 

“If you really don't want to do this, I won't make you.” He remarked, earning a breath of relief from me. “But it’s dangerous out here and I would feel better knowing that you were able to shoot and had a gun on you. Just indulge me and give it a try.” He requested and I took a deep breath before nodding reluctantly.

“Okay, come on, I’ll be right here the whole time.” He reassured as he led me into the clearing. He pulled out the pistol that he usually carried in the top of his trousers and I flinched involuntarily at the action. “Don’t worry, I’m not expecting you to do anything crazy, we’re just gonna try a pistol. I want you to try holding it first, you’ll realise there’s nothing to be afraid of.” He instructed and I tried to contain my nerves. “Before we do that, I’m gonna tell you the first rule, only put your finger inside the trigger guard when you are ready to fire, alright? For now, just take the trip and get a feel for it.” He detailed as he gently placed the firearm in my hands and I felt myself shake slightly. It felt as if I was holding a bomb and I peeked at him with insecurity. “ Not so scary, right?” He asked hopefully and I simply stared back with wide eyes. “The safety is on so it won't go off, you can breathe.” He added with a smile and I had to remind myself to let a breath out.I held the pistol for a few moments, trying to steady my heartbeat and allowing myself to adjust to the idea. 

“Okay, what’s next?” I asked nervously in a failed effort to force some confidence and he smiled back.

“Alright, let’s get you ready to shoot.” He confirmed and I felt my stomach flip at the casual way that he said this. “Don’t worry, I’ll help you. You’re not always going to have time to get into a proper stance, but we’ll do that today to give you a chance to get used to it. So, put your dominant leg forward, and lean forward just slightly.” He demonstrated and I mirrored him with a growing nausea. “Hold the gun up in front of you, your shooting arm should be fully extended and locked in place, and then this arm is bent holding here.” He showed me how to move my arms and I tried to do the same but my building nerves caused me to struggle with understanding what he wanted. He smiled at me as he noticed that I was still petrified and he stepped behind me to adjust my arms into the correct position. Although I appreciated the additional support, his proximity to me only caused further distraction. 

“Here, you need to lean a little more.” He put a hand to my waist in a gentle movement and guided me into the right position by bringing his chest to my back. I felt my face flush in response, but he seemed to be completely focused on the task at hand. “Right, here is the safety.” He stated as he moved closer so that his arms were around me to put his hand over mine and show me how to use the safety. As he did this, I realised that his body was completely pressed against mine and when he spoke his hot breath brushed my neck, causing my hair to stand up on end. He flicked the safety off and showed me how to tell it was off. “Now, you’re ready to shoot.” He announced and I felt my stomach flip.

“I’m scared.” I whispered, finally admitting how I felt.

“You don’t need to be. I’m right here; this is my gun. You don’t think I’d give you something dangerous, do you?” He asked, his breath tickling my ear. I considered his words carefully, remembering all the times that he’d protected me already. If I couldn’t trust myself with this gun, I could instead rely on my trust for Bellamy to keep me safe. I took a deep breath and squeezed the trigger in a braced position. The gun fired, causing a loud bang that startled me and the impact of the recoil threw me back. 

“Shit!” I screamed as I lost my grip on the weapon. Fortunately Bellamy caught it in midair and it was clear that he expected it. As soon as the gun was out of my hands, I turned to face him with an apologetic expression. “I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have dropped it, that’s so dangerous!” I gasped. He chuckled lightly and smiled at me. 

“It’s fine Indie, that’s perfectly normal if you’re nervous. How do you feel now?” He checked and I felt my hands shaking from the rush of adrenaline.

“That was terrifying.” I breathed with honesty. “I didn’t expect it to push me back like that.” I admitted.

“Even pistols have a recoil, it’s one of the challenges to learning to aim. Now that you’ve got your first shot out of the way, are you ready to learn to actually hit something?” He asked and although I was hesitant, I forced myself back into position and allowed him to set me up again. He explained where the aim was and how to use it, then helped to prepare me on how to deal with the recoil. I was amazed at his patience, as he continued to allow me as many attempts as I needed to completely miss every target. I started to expect that he was partly taking advantage of the excuse to hold me to him, but I quickly forced this thought from the mind. After several attempts I began to get frustrated. 

“God I suck at this!” I blurted out and he laughed. “I’m sorry Bellamy, I just can’t imagine actually shooting someone. I don’t know if I’d be able to trust myself to not hit someone else.” I groaned in disappointment and he hummed thoughtfully before speaking again.

“When it comes to guns, only ever point a gun at something you are willing to kill. I know that right now you’re thinking that isn’t necessary but let me help you.” He leaned in close and moved my arms to aim at an empty container. “Imagine that target is a man holding a knife to Octavia.” He spoke in a deep, threatening tone and I felt myself blanch at his suggestion.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. If someone was threatening Octavia and I had the chance to get in close enough to attack them, I knew that I would stab them without even considering it. There was something about using a gun that felt more lethal, more final. But Bellamy was right, there would be times that I wouldn’t be able to get up close and the risk would be high enough that I’d be forced to act. I opened my eyes and stared at the target, forming an elaborate vision in my mind. I focused on it, staring down the aim as he’d taught me to do and let out a slow, long breath before squeezing the trigger. This time when it fired, I was prepared for the feeling and held my stance firmly. The bullet launched the container from the stump and I gasped in shock.

“Damn Indie, you’re a better shot than me!” Bellamy laughed in disbelief. “They should’ve asked you to shoot the Chancellor.” He teased and I laughed back.

We spent the rest of the afternoon practising shooting and Bellamy taught me the essentials, like how to change the magazine and how to maintain the gun. When it started to get dark, he handed me the gun and moved to start towards camp. 

“Hey, this is yours, don’t you want it back?” I asked as I followed him.

“You can have it, there’s plenty back at camp. Like I said, you know I wouldn’t give you anything dangerous, maybe that’ll make it easier to get used to?” He smiled and I tucked the gun into my trousers awkwardly.

“Okay, thanks.” I breathed, surprised by the well considered gesture. “How did you come to know so much about guns?” I asked with interest.

“I was a guard once.” He answered and I nodded as I remembered that he did mention his time as a guard before when he told me about Octavia’s arrest. “They use the shock batons mostly, but they make sure to train every guard to use guns, just in case.” He explained and I was surprised by this information. 

“Well it’s a good thing that you had that experience with them then.” I commented thoughtfully and he surveyed me in confusion. “Now you can train us, I doubt anyone else here would've had a clue what they were doing otherwise. Silver lining, right?” I smiled and he was pleased with this realisation. 

❖ ── ✦ ──『✙』── ✦ ── ❖

The next few days were a blur of gun training for everyone and it had a particular focus on those who would be guarding the camp learning to use the larger weapons. I didn’t see much of Octavia, who seemed to be continually busy and so I kept myself occupied with tasks. I rose from the tent in the morning to find a small group gathered around the comms screen, listening to the Chancellor give a speech. I moved just close enough to hear some of what he was saying and gathered that they were celebrating Unity Day. I rolled my eyes at the crowd that had opted to join in, disappointed that anyone was still upholding Ark traditions when we were finally out of their reach. I was about to return to my tent when a loud steaming followed by Jasper’s excited cries drew my attention. He emerged from the tent carrying a huge pot that poured steam violently. 

“Whoo! Yeah! Monty strikes again!” He announced and I laughed at the sight of him in the goggles he’d been wearing the day that we arrived. “Hey, call this batch unity juice! Who’s thirsty?!” He slid the goggles up into his hair and ran into the centre of camp, immediately becoming surrounded. I watched with an amused smile as people gathered with genuine joy. Jasper occupied himself with filling cups as people clambered for some of the moonshine and even the people on guard duty put their guns aside to join the celebrations. “Happy Unity Day!” He announced dramatically. I groaned at the celebrations and instead passed Jasper to head into Monty’s brewing tent. Monty was filthy and surrounded by ingredients. 

“Hey, you’re not hiding from Unity Day alone in here are you?” I asked playfully as he wiped the sweat from his brow and noticed me with a smile.

“Is it that obvious?” He quipped back and I was glad to find him in good spirits. 

“Come on, you can’t just make the whole camp happy and not be out there to enjoy the praise.” I declared in an effort to tempt him outside as he busied himself with clearing up the mess that covered the entire space. “You can come hang with me, we’ll start an anti Unity Day corner.” I suggested with a coy smile.

“Sounds good to me. You find a spot to get started and I’ll be right out.” He agreed with a keen voice and I made my way back outside. I found a small collection of seats and dropped myself down in a boyish fashion. It wasn’t long before Jasper approached with an excited bounce to his step and tried to hand me a fresh cup of moonshine. 

“No thanks, I don’t drink.” I answered as I pushed it away with a smile. He made an overdramatic display of disbelief, falling backwards into a seat opposite me. 

“Wait, what did you just say? I can’t have heard you correctly!” He exclaimed with a hand to his chest and I laughed.

“I’ve seen how it makes people act and I’m quite happy not to humiliate myself.” I winked at him, remembering his declarations to Octavia when under the influence of the nuts. Although I wasn’t particularly against drinking on the whole, I didn’t feel that it was the right environment for me to indulge in the experience for the first time. There were numerous ways that it could go wrong in a camp filled with drunk teenagers and I shivered at the idea of doing something I would later regret.

“But it’s Unity Day? How else are going to celebrate our first and last ever free Unity Day if not by making an idiot of yourself?”  He teased, still speaking in a false manner of offense and I sniggered at his dedication to trying to convince me.

“Haven’t you heard? This is the anti Unity Day corner.” Monty announced as he stomped over to us with a smile. “But I will take some of that, thank you.” He grabbed the cup that Jasper had offered me and made himself comfortable in the seat beside mine.

“Oh now I understand, that is how you got him out of his den.” Jasper connected, looking between the two of us. “How did you know that was his thing?” He probed and I raised a brow at him,

“I actually didn’t.” I admitted, inspecting Monty in surprise. “I was just kidding with him since I hate it. Well, not so much Unity Day itself, but basically the Ark and all it’s associated traditions.” I struggled to convey my thoughts without simply coming across as bitter and Jasper widened his eyes with interest.

“Woah Indie, that’s intense.” He breathed as he shuffled. “But not unjustified.” He shrugged and learned back in his seat. “Still, you might as well enjoy today, in a couple of days the Ark and all its associated crap will be here.” He suggested, before sipping at the moonshine poignantly. “You might even want to experience getting a little wild before the moonshine becomes outlawed again.” He winked and I grimaced, shaking my head at him. 

I spent the rest of the day hanging out with Jasper and Monty only to be joined by several others as everyone mixed and took the time to get to know each other a little better. The broadcast from the Ark cut out just after the Chancellor’s speech and I was pleased to see that no one was particularly interested in re-establishing it. Although I wasn’t overly interested in making friends, I enjoyed getting to know a few more members of camp; it helped it to feel more like a home. I didn’t see Octavia all day and I considered that she was probably enjoying alone time with some helpless camper.

As it grew dark, I took time to wander around and spotted Bellamy standing at the edge of camp speaking to Clarke. I caught the tail end of their conversation as I neared them and Clarke appeared to be leaving.

“I’ll have my fun when the grounders come.” Bellamy smiled at Clarke as she stopped and turned back to face him again.

“Alright.” She conceded as she turned to leave fully this time. I raised my brows at him inquisitively  and he smiled as he noticed me. 

“Bellamy Blake turning down the opportunity to party? Surely that can’t be right?” I teased as I stepped closer, enjoying the chance to mock him and he laughed in response.

“Somebody has to keep an eye on things.” He smiled fondly at me as he spoke and I felt a warmth in my chest. 

“And somebody can, but if you’re asking me, you deserve some time off.” I replied as I held his sparkling gaze. “Tell me you at least got some of Monty’s Moonshine?” I grilled and he shook his head in an entertained manner. “Let me grab you a cup, it’s soon to be contraband don’t you know?” I offered with a playful smile as I tried to tempt him into some down time. He glimpsed me with a suspicious look and stepped closer into my space. 

“That almost sounds like you’re trying to get me drunk, Indigo?” He suggested as he fixed me with a shameless smile. 

“I mean, I certainly wouldn’t mind seeing that.” I winked with a hint of sass in my voice. “I’m very intrigued to see what kind of drunk you are.” I studied him with coy interest. I couldn’t imagine Bellamy not in control, although from the rumours I’d heard of his partying so far, he was rather bold.

“Well I’m afraid I can’t answer that for you, so you’ll have to wait for a time when we can find out.” He admitted with a slight pang of bitterness and I was surprised by his confession.

“Wait, you’re telling me that you’re the only real adult here and you’ve never been drunk?” I asked in implied shock causing him to chuckle and shake his head. “Well, now we really have to prioritise getting you a drink.” I suggested and he still declined. I sipped from my cup as I considered his words and tried to think of another way to tempt him away from guard duty. He bit his lip as he watched me and his voice dropped to a suggestive tone. 

“Sounds to me like you’re a pushy drunk.” He pointed to the mug in my hands and I almost choked in an effort to get my words out quickly enough. 

“It’s just tea actually, Monty fixed it up for me after I mentioned that I missed it. It’s handy having someone so into herbs around.” I clarified and he laughed in response.

“So you’re not even drinking yourself?” He questioned with amusement dancing in his eyes. I found myself getting lost in them as they glowed in the distant firelight and I had to force myself back into the moment. I shook my head guiltily. 

“I don’t drink, I like to be in control.” I answered honestly, before my eyes widened at the connotations of my words. Inwardly I kicked myself for saying something so suggestive and I felt a knot of dread as I waited for his response.

“I’m sure you do.” He drawled causing all of the hairs to stand up on the back of my neck at his tone. I stood awkwardly in silence for a minute, sipping at my tea as I tried to think of something to change the topic. “Have you seen Octavia today?” He asked in an effort to fill the silence.

“No, but honestly...in situations that revolve around horny teenagers and alcohol, I don’t consider it a bad thing to not know what your best friend is up to.” I replied and he shrugged in agreement, shaking his head in an effort to force out whatever thought I’d just planted. “So, are you gonna come and take a break for a bit, or are you staying on the perimeter like a workaholic?” I asked, jabbing him playfully in the arm. He sighed thoughtfully as he scrutinised me. 

“Maybe later.” He conceded and I smiled. “You’ll be the first to know if I do. Now go have some fun.” He insisted and I smiled as I hesitantly left him to his guard duty. 

[kurowrites]

The Truth Is Out (Sequel)

Five years ago, I wrote Keeping Secrets. Then someone on AO3 commented that they would love seeing the reaction of the world when the secret finally comes out, and I felt kind of inspired.

This is not exactly that story, though. This is mostly just me having fun.

*

The thing about Pepper is that she delivers. That is why she is the one at the top; the one to make all the decisions. Tony knows too many people who are not like that not to give someone like Pepper preference. For years, he has had to deal with people who talk a big game, but never deliver. (Justin Hammer is just the very worst of them.)

But when Pepper says she will do something, it will end up being done. Even if it’s something like her promising that Tony will pay for his bullshit.

That’s fine, really, because it’s all his bullshit, after all. He decided to keep the relationship secret, he decided to blurt the truth out at the most inopportune moment, and he decided he’s had enough of pretending he hasn’t been committed to one of the best people he knows for the past five years.

And Steve, if he judges correctly from his expression, feels the same.

Tony eventually decides he has hidden enough for the moment, and Steve follows him to Tony’s penthouse, because Tony went to Steve still in his interview suit, which is now wrinkled and uncomfortable.

Once Tony has changed into something more comfortable, they sit on the sofa in his living room, eat snacks and talk about nothing in particular. It’s not so different from any other important announcements they’ve made in the past - they know how the whole media circus works.

It doesn’t take long for Pepper’s assistant to send them a carefully worded press statement that she wants the two of them to approve of.

A note from Pepper herself is attached to Tony’s statement:

I expect an invitation for a make-up wedding celebration.

Which is fair enough, Tony assumes. They didn’t really have one the first time around, anyway, they never told anyone that they got married, and now… now that all is said and done, a celebration doesn’t seem like this huge, scary thing that it used to be anymore. Their relationship has endured five years already. It’s probably time for their friends to gather and celebrate what they have achieved so far.

Five years ago, the thought would have filled Tony with anxiety. Now, however, it is somehow easy to think that way. It feels right in a way it did not before.

He sends in his approval and smiles at Steve, who is doing the same thing.

“You realise that we are making a lot of people very, very angry?” he asks.

Steve laughs and puts his smartphone away.

“Honestly, as long as I survive Bucky’s reaction, I’m completely fine with the rest.”

“Ooooh,” Tony sings. “Brave words from a dead man.”

He still fiddles with his own phone, because he should probably– his phone starts ringing as if on command.

“Why is Pepper telling me to call you?” Rhodey asks from the other end of the line.

“Honeybear!” Tony exclaims, reaching out for Steve’s hand, who squeezes back encouragingly. “I was just thinking of calling you!”

“Are you dying?” Rhodey asks, sounding suspicious. “Again?”

“Oh! No! I might just have publicly admitted to being married for five years?”

“Oh. Have you finally decided to make your relationship with Steve public?”

Tony falls silent for a moment, not entirely sure what she should think or reply. Steve tilts his head, clearly listening in on the conversation now. Tony waves him off.

It’s fine.

“Oh come on, it’s like you don’t know me at all, sweetheart.”

Tony smiles brightly, although Rhodey obviously can’t see him.

“And that’s why you’re the attentive one.”

“And don’t you forget it. Also, tell Steve that the shovel talk will be coming shortly.”

Tony turns to Steve and raises his eyebrows at him, who raises his in return.

“Will do. Love you, sweetpea.”

“Likewise. Don’t get eaten by the paparazzi.”

And with that, Rhodey cuts the line, probably to get back to work. Tony’s schedule is more irregular than Rhodey’s, so yes, Rhodey should probably be working right now. Was working, probably, and took time out of his busy day to call him.

“Can we exchange friends?” Steve asks, sounding a little desperate. “Bucky is just gonna shout at me. I think I prefer Colonel Rhodes’ shovel talk over that.”

“None of that,” Tony grins. “Rhodey is allll mine. That’s what you get for hitching your wagon to the Bucky train.”

Steve rolls his eyes but is distracted when both of their smartphones vibrate, at the same time.

I second the invitation, or there will be hell to pay, the message on Tony’s screen reads. He shows it to Steve, who holds up his own smartphone, with the very same message on his screen, as well.

“Natasha,” they both say simultaneously.

A moment later, their phones vibrate again, and the first message is followed by a Guys, WTF??????

“And Clint.”

“I’m already getting tired of this,” Steve sighs, letting his head drop onto the couch cushions. “I don’t want to be included into this.”

“We can still cancel the statement?” Tony asks, suddenly feeling nervous.

“No,” Steve says decisively. “But I don’t want to have to deal with all of the excitement of this announcement. I really don’t.”

They both lapse into silence for a moment, simply looking at each other.

God, Tony thinks, I love looking at this face. I might be the luckiest man alive.

He watches as a slow smile spreads over Steve’s face. It’s not a nice smile. It’s a positively wicked one. The kind of smile Steve would never show in public.

“Well,” he drawls. “I don’t think we ever had that honeymoon.”

“Captain America,” Tony says, mock-scandalized. “Are you suggesting what I think you are suggesting? How insidious of you!”

But as he is saying that, he is already jumping to his feet.  

“Well,” he adds, nonchalant. “I better run down to Bruce for a moment, I guess.”

Honeymoon, something sings in his chest. What a foolish thing to get excited about. But here he is, and now he gets to have it.

Oh god. He gets to have it. His pace gets faster as he walks down the hallway that leads to Bruce’s lab.

Burce is busy with important calculations, so after he has repeatedly ignored Tony’s attempts to talk to him (A taste of your own medicine, he hears Pepper whisper into his ear), he plainly states what’s up, which makes Bruce nearly hulk out and break some (probably) important beakers. Tony is out of there before he can find out what it was.

“Maybe think about timing next time, you fucker,” Bruce shouts after him, and if Tony is honest, it’s funnier to make Bruce curse than it probably should be.

He can also hear a “Congratulations!” just as he rounds the corner. Tony laughs out loud. Bruce, too, is always dependable.

When he returns to his own floor, he finds Steve standing in the middle of his living room with a lost expression, a giant parcel in his hands, and a raven sitting atop his shoulder.

“Thor,” Steve explains, probably in response to Tony’s equally confused expression.

“Okay,” Tony breathes. “How the fuck did Pepper manage that this fast, does she have an emergency line or something? And how did Thor manage to get a present this fast? Did he have one stored somewhere just in case?”

Actually, now that he thinks about it, Tony is a fool. Thor has probably known, and been waiting for exactly this. He can picture Thor, picking out just the right present, amusing himself with the thought of trolling the two of them. He narrowly avoids pinching his nose in frustration.

“Okay,” he repeats again. “Take that thing with you, then we’re out of here. I don’t need any other ‘well-meaning’ surprises today.”

They hastily pack some bags with whatever necessities they might need, and then, what anyone in their situation would do: they disappear.

*

“They have vacated the premises, Ms. Potts,” her assistant informs her. “The articles are ready for publication, too.”

“Do it,” Pepper commands, taking a sip from her drink. It’s a virgin drink, because she’s still at work, but she feels like she deserves it. People will be going absolutely nuts in a few moments. Her PR team is ready and primed. The lovebirds have flown out. Chaos awaits.

This will be so good for business.

She cheers the empty sky with her drink and takes another sip.

Sometimes, Tony makes life difficult for her, but then, he pulls some kind of genius shit, and reminds her why she would never want to work anywhere else.

So good for business.

*

IRON MAN AND CAPTAIN AMERICA MARRIED FOR THE PAST FIVE YEARS, the newspaper reads in bold, large letters, and Bucky screeches loudly.

Another one declares, THE FACE OF SUPERHEROING CHANGED FOREVER. A third one, MORE SUPERHEROES COMING OUT AS LGBT+ IN SUPPORT OF SUPERHERO MARRIAGE.

IRON MAN AND CAPTAIN AMERICA - A LOVE STORY IN TWENTY IMAGES.

THOR SMITES ANTI-LGBT PROTESTORS, LETS BIFRÖST ILLUMINATE NIGHT SKY.

THE SECRET LOVERS OF IRON MAN SPEAK.

CAPTAIN AMERICA, A HOMOSEXUAL MAN? A COMMENTARY.

The headlines will not stop.

“I’m going to murder him!” Bucky shouts. “Not interested in a relationship right now, my ass!”

Sam, next to him, just sighs. He gives the sensational articles Bucky is rifling through barely a glance.

“I can’t believe you got deceived by Steve, of all people. He’s so bad at lying, you should be ashamed. Haven’t you seen the eyes he’s been making at Tony since basically forever?”

“Yeah but that’s– ooooh, he is so dead!”

“Good luck finding them,” Sam says mercilessly, and goes back to playing Animal Crossing on his handheld console.

Oooh, I am going to find them, alright, Bucky thinks angrily, ripping THE FALL OF AN AMERICAN ICON to shreds. And then, I’m going to bleed them dry for a massive wedding celebration.