#that was by far the silliest interview i’ve seen

[dear-ao3]

oscar “i gotta get my wisdom teeth taken out before i go home” piastri and lando “idk if i still have wisdom teeth” norris, your 2023 mclaren drivers.

[cwopf]

MY THEORY OF GILLOVNY

What if these two actually are together in real life. What if it IS a possibility. As lunatic as it seems, I can’t help but think about it. I have a life of my own, believe me, yet I keep coming back to this thought every once in a while, because I admit I’ve never seen anything like it before and I am not someone who gives even a flying fuck about celebrities. But these two make me wonder and I don’t know what is it about them, but I somehow want to believe in them.

What if their undeniable chemistry truly is real and their love is so much more than just a friendship.

What if Peter Morgan truly is nothing but a colleague and some kind of publicity she caught herself in, because even with all the “proof” of them being a couple, something just doesn’t sit right.

Her behavior, the gestures around him, it just doesn’t seem like a well loved, happy beyond dream kinda woman, I don’t physically see it. I truly don’t get the “love of my life” vibe. Do you?

Stiff, reserved and all in all a bit cold even, they truly make me wonder if it might be just a PR stunt. And, look, if I saw her crazy happy with a guy I’d be happy for her, totally. But, this? Nah, I don’t buy this shit.

Which, when I look back at all the gillovny moments, as crazy as it was, makes me believe that it was more than just an acted out exaggeration. And not even just a deep, year long friendship.

What if it truly passed all of that and became a romance at some point, and a big one. It certainly did look like it at a time. And while it currently looks like it had already ended, it made me think - what if that’s the point?

It takes a fool not to notice their ways towards each other, and even with all the denials, which sure make it hard to believe, when you see it for yourself it naturally comes as a possibility. It seems like a waste not to pursue something like that.

If we go back to the hints. The random sightings. Some might be made up, I am sure, but then some seem just crazy accurate.

What’s with the random dates in their lives, how can it all be so synchronized. Is it just random luck or is it an ode or a message to one another of some sort?

Why were they spotted in the same places so many times, randomly and out of their professional time together. Why the visits on sets, the airport sightings, the deleted tweets that seemed to reveal a little bit too much, the supposed holiday trips to the same destinations.

Why do people in the biz say stuff like “You mean Gillian and David? They’re not married, but they have been together for a while now.” Why does a random person (who apparently works for tv) on fb wish them a happy bday, then posts about how they have been together for a while now and how it was a nice surprise. And why would someone just say that out of the blue? Yep, it probably meant nothing. But, again. What if there was some truth to that? And that was only a fucking year ago.

How do two people accidentally get crippled at the same time? Also the stories from that same event, of how they love each other and their gestures towards one other, them arriving together and entering separately? What the hell are people noticing? Wasn’t she already kinda supposedly taken by then?

Why does she always wear the link bracelet, she wore it in their “good times” and it truly seems like a gift from D, which, of course, we will never know matter of fact, but it just feels like it. She has it on constantly, it seems so telling. She also wears it on red carpets with PM all the time and on almost every photoshoot. What IF it is from DD, wouldn’t that say something?

Also the necklace with a link he once wore on the stage of one of his concerts, could that very link be a part of her chain? If yes, then that is some deeply romantic shit.

Also the recent interviews, one in particular comes to mind. First, her mentioning her supposed boyfriend subtly and only saying the name out loud when asked about it, then proceeding to talk about her “partner” and telling a story of how they were talking about the aging process, but how they respect it because they are both going through it. Why does it feel like the mentioned totally fits someone else, like she’d discuss such a thing with someone who has been a part of her life for a long time and she had inevitably experienced this process with during the years. Does this click for anyone else too, or am I crazy and making up shit?

This was the moment when I stopped to think if just maybe there was a crazy possibility of David still being in her life.

Why does she speak about it being so good not living with her man and how she doesn’t see him that often, but when she does it’s special and it works for them.

While she must have been seeing her “current man” on set all the time. Do you notice how a lot of stuff that are supposedly about PM just don’t add up? Also, again, does the story make you think about someone else as well?

Also, have to throw this in here. The Christmas Jonathan Ross show. The sudden David (dick) reference. The Rob Lowe (apparently a good friend of David’s) saying “not far off from what I’ve been told” then both of them giggling together, almost as if an inside joke. The kind that gives off the vibe of making you wonder if the size thing’s something she’d accidentally blab out and brag about jokingly at some dinner party they once shared.

Why does she usually not give a fuck about half the stuff said, yet she would feel so shaken by people’s disbelief to publicly put it out on twitter about PM being the “love of her life” just to defend that idea? Why does it not seem like her at all? Why do I feel making a joke or being sarcastic about it would fit her more?

Is her SM being totally under control?

Maybe the penis and yoni of the day (along with Nelson) are one of the rare outlets right now, even that being some pre-approved idea for having it seem like she’s being her regular self, cause that’s something that we know fits her character.

But when you think about it, it is still a mini subtle commercial for SexEd. Which I love, yet...Netflix. Again.

Also, the constant mentioning of Netflix along with PM in her stories, desperately trying to fit him somewhere. Like the “what do you eat during quarantine” and bam: “when me and Pete hosted a dinner we froze a chocolate cake...” Riiight. Is it just me, or does it seem like trying way too hard?

Which makes me think of all the contrary. If we go back to the past Gillovny fuckery...“he’s in the shower” and “I’m with schmoopie” shirts and “chewie’s girlfriend” and the twitter saga. What if it was intentionally done that way to make people think “what if”, but obviously take it as a joke, because of course that’s what it is. But was it? Maybe they just knew no one would truly buy it so they could play around for a little bit and actually be a couple for a minute, make out on Kimmel and fuck around on twitter. Propaganda? Maybe.

Some truth in that? God damn it, almost feels like it. Sure felt way more natural, sexy and loving than any of the stuff going on today.

What if we hate MP for no reason, what if she’s just truly a fucking assistant, a help and nothing but it. What if G hugged her after the play in London out of gratitude, because she’s just a prop they need to act this shit out. What if it’s all a big shitshow, but a shitshow nonetheless.

What if I will say the silliest shit of all time and boldly assume...that behind all of this which we do not understand, D&G are still together and fine. What if it was meant to feel like the end to us. But they are there, in secret, because it’s somehow better for them, because they prefer it that way.

What if the shoe pic of “working from home in my Dune London shoes” a day prior to his 60th birthday is just another way to turn people away from that idea and subtly make them not even question anything, while in reality she is with him, somewhere, celebrating his 60th birthday. And things are much brighter for them than what they seem.

I might be so wrong, so off. But something is going on in the background and there are way too many things I do not buy.

Also, it was honestly more probable to me that they were once together, but fell apart somewhere along the way, I believed that and it totally seemed like a probable scenario.

Until the very subtle, yet interesting stuff that have been going on made me question it again, maybe it’s silly, but when I connect the dots, like the constant bracelet wearing, the talking about a partner and not mentioning the name, but referencing stuff that feel completely Gillovny, aging with someone, long distance shit, random people still stating “they have been together for a while now, nice surprise”. Maybe it’s a load of bullshit, but it also just makes it seem like he still might be there, somewhere, after all.

How the hell did I end up here? I ask myself this constantly. I still have no idea.

Yes, it is so fucking crazy. But this is where I leave this at.

[mappinglasirena]

Holodeck Deep Dive

Or: Where even is anything supposed to be? - Part 2

EDIT: We now have confirmation of the location of the holodeck :D In the most recently uploaded Ready Room, there was a short set tour of La Sirena that included a glimpse of the production team’s plans for the set layout. It confirms the theory that La Sirena’s holodeck is behind the prominent door on the starboard side of the upper deck. The tour also made it appear very likely that Picard’s study is indeed a fully built set that you can access from the upper deck. I’m not entirely sure what to think about that (see below for some door-related problems and why I thought it was in a different part of the sound stage to begin with), but there will be a more in-depth update of this deep dive in due course (which I will also link here). Until then: please enjoy my now vindicated speculations on the location of the holodeck.

From the very beginning, but especially since episode 5, the question of “where on this ship is the holodeck supposed to be located?” has hounded me to no end. As you can probably imagine by now, I have a lot of Thoughts (and a bunch of clues/evidence), which tie in with the layout of the upper deck in general

Follow me under the cut for long discussions of doors and sight lines, and a ton of pictures.

(N/B: I won’t actually be mapping the layout of Picard’s study, since a) it’s a holodeck so it can look like anything b) many people have done so very successfully already, and c) they move the furniture around quite a bit, so it would be a pain ;] Maybe this’ll be something for the end of this project, if I still feel like doing more floor-planning.)

To start us off, we never get full confirmation that the holographic version of Picard’s study on Sirena is, in fact, a holodeck. We’ve seen that the entire ship, including crew quarters, is equipped with holo-emitters and I’ve read some people interpreting this scene as Picard basically redecorating his cabin. While that is, of course, a possibility, in my opinion, having your bedroom be entirely holographic has a ton of drawbacks, from energy consumption to what happens to all your physical belongings (and yourself) if the power ever cuts out. So, I’m going to go with what I think is the mainstream view: Picard’s chateau is, in fact, recreated on the ship’s holodeck.

But where is it, though? As far as I can tell, the show gives us three hints and I will look at them in turn: 1: Editing 2: Acting Choices 3: Door Design

1. Editing

In Episode 6, The Impossible Box, we get a hint regarding the location of the holodeck that many people (including myself for a long time) found very compelling. After his discussion with Dr Jurati and Elnor in the mess hall, Picard gets up from the table and walks through the door into the room under the bridge. Jurati and Elnor continue their discussion and then we cut directly to Picard, having apparently just entered his study.

The implication of this editing choice seems to be that the holodeck is, in fact, located under the bridge (especially when you consider that there is no conceivable way to get out of the room under the bridge except that one door but that’s a story for another day). Could there be a couple minutes or so in between cuts where Picard leaves the room under the bridge again or uses some hitherto unknown corridors that travers the bowels of La Sirena to get to the upper deck and enter the holodeck there? Yes. But the editing creates a specific sense of the holodeck’s location and a lot of people have read it this way (as I said, myself included).

2. Acting

The very first indication we get of the holodeck’s location actually happens an episode earlier, near the beginning of Stardust City Rag. Raffi and Rios meet on the bridge and discuss Seven being holed up “in the Chateau with Picard”. And throughout the scene, the two of them keep looking at and gesturing towards the back of the ship, specifically, I’m pretty sure, in the direction of the one door on the starboard side of the open deck.

Now, we don’t know who made this choice, whether it was something decided by the set designers, by Jonathan Frakes who directed the episode, or something the actors agreed on and incorporated into their performance, but it’s consistent enough across shots that in my opinion, somebody must have made the decision to imply that the “Chateau” was on the starboard side on the upper deck of the ship.

3. The Door (hoooh boy...)

Now, if you’ve read my last deep dive into the Upper Deck, you’ll probably already anticipate that the door is what I would like to use as the most solid piece of evidence for the holodeck’s location, but, predictably, it’s where we run into the biggest problems.

To start off, what do we know about the door to the holodeck? We see it a few times closed from the inside, from which we can tell it’s a two-part door that separates in the middle, same as the doors to the captain’s quarters and crew quarters.

This rules out the door under the bridge, since that is a one-part door that opens to the side:

In fact, the only doors of the split-down-the-middle-type we have seen so far are the two portside doors I discussed last time (only one of which seems to be a functioning door on set) and the single, prominent door on the starboard side. (Let me refer you back to this wide shot:)

Now, we only get one single instance of a glimpse through the opening door from the inside of the holodeck, and that is in episode 4, Absolute Candor, when Raffi enters the study to yell at Picard about their detour to Vashti. This is what we can see there:

It’s not a lot and it’s very blurry, but mostly, it raises a lot of questions.

First off: Looking at the floor outside the door, that is clearly the same pattern as the floor plating on the upper deck. It could even be the section outside the starboard-door, which you can see here:

However, the structures that you can see over Raffi’s shoulder can’t be found anywhere on the port side of the ship. We see those in exactly two places throughout the show. As you have probably noticed, the first is the construction surrounding the mysterious starboard-side door. For comparison:

The other is in the port-side corridor at the back of the upper deck, basically the outside of what I have concluded must be Raffi’s quarters. Seen here:

I’m a bit more uncertain about that one, since a) perspective distortion makes it difficult to tell whether those vertical lights actually have the same dimensions as the one’s around the starboard door and b) there is a whole lot of those white liquid-containers in that section of the ship (cf. image below) and I would expect those to be in the shot if we were looking at that particular wall. Also, the only door through which you could get a look at that section of wall is this one, which can be seen towards the end of Stardust City Rag...

... and as you can tell, that is one of those single-piece doors, like the one under the bridge, not the split-down-the-middle kind.

What does this mean?

At this point, my best guess is that the whole thing happened something like this: Picard’s study is built on a separate set from the rest of La Sirena. The actors have mentioned in several interviews that the Sirena set is massive and it’s amazing how you can just walk into the rooms and they’re actually there, and that’s true for things like sickbay and whatever use the conference room/quarters are being dressed for that day. But I don’t think it’s true for the holodeck.

I’m basing this suspicion on the fact that if you look at the inside of the door on the holodeck, you can see that the wall continues straight up to the ceiling of the room. But all three doors that we can see on the set of the upper deck are set in walls that angle inwards either halfway up (quarters; see comparison from last post:)

... or above the door (starboard door; I refer you back to this:)

In-universe that is not a problem, of course, since it’s a holodeck. The door could literally be inside a wardrobe or free-standing with nothing but air around it. It wouldn’t matter what the physical wall around it looks like when the programme is turned off. With regards to filming practicalities, though, the only explanation I can come up with is that the holodeck/study is, in fact, not connected to the larger Sirena set.

I have only been able to find a single image of the outside of the Sirena set so far, courtesy of the amazing people at Trekcore, and it shows that the door on the starboard side of the upper deck doesn’t actually lead anywhere. However, it’s impossible to tell what might be happening on the port side or the back of the set. So, this is only marginally helpful.

If we assume that the study is a separate set, I would imagine the view through the door was added digitally, at which point I have to wonder why they chose this particular piece of wall as a backdrop. Are they trying to imply that the holodeck is behind one of the two doors on the port side? That doesn't jive with the acting in episode 5 or anything we have found out about the quarters-situation. Are they saying the holodeck is behind the back wall on the port side? Again, doesn’t make sense with the acting and also the shape of the door is wrong.

At this point, I’m most inclined to say that for this less-than-3-second shot, of the open door, the most likely scenario is that someone made some kind of mistake. Picked an angle that doesn’t make sense, had some kind of miscommunication, whatever, but there just is no consistent explanation that I can find.

So, where does that leave us with regards to the location of the holodeck?

Honestly, I’m not sure. After puzzling over this for well over two weeks now, looking at it from every angle I can think of, and taking into consideration even the silliest details (like the fact that the inside of the holodeck door is clean and pristine, so it can’t be the same physical door that leads to the quarters-set since that one is aged and scratched up), I’m still no closer to a definitive answer. But, as I mentioned in my master post, since the set is in itself inconsistent, that does give us a bit of a card blanche to make up a layout that seems most plausible to us.

My Headcanon

I’m sticking with my initial decision, as depicted in my floor plan sketch, that the holodeck is behind the single door on the starboard side of the upper deck. Whether or not that’s what the set designers/screenwriters intended, it makes sense to me for the holodeck to have a prominent, articulated entrance and to take up a bit of space, which is why there’s no other on that side of the deck. It also tracks with the acting choices in episode 5 and creates the fewest inconsistencies with regards to the door.

Now, if any of you have other theories or arguments (or any more behind-the-scenes pictures or info), I would love to hear about them! Any explanation that could solve some of these contradictions would be utterly amazing!

Until then, I am officially deciding to stick with my initial sketch with regards to the layout of the three rooms on the upper deck. They are, in my opinion: the holodeck on the starboard side, Raffi’s quarters on the portside towards the back, Rios’s quarters on the port side towards the front. Once I have a real idea of how wide the support beams are and thus what the actual proportions of the upper deck might be, I’ll draw up a more detailed version of that portion of the ship. Stay tuned ;)

[purplesurveys]

706

What weird food combinations do you enjoy? I’m willing to experiment mayonnaise with most food. I also dip my fries in hot fudge sundae and because I’m Filipino I have to have my fried chicken paired with banana ketchup. Where do you get your news? Usually from the Twitter and Facebook handles of my go-to news outlets. My dad is also the only one who turns on the TV in the dining area so whenever he’s home and watches the evening news I get to hear the reports as well. What social stigma does society need to get over? HIV/AIDS, dating or marrying the same sex, tattoos... even breastfeeding is a fucking stigma lmao. So many people are babies. What is the best/worst prank that you've played on someone? I hate being the victim of pranks so I never pull them on anyone. What was the last photo you took? My dog jumping up to ask for food last night.

What makes you roll your eyes every time you hear it? Lately our president has been wanting to give nightly addresses on TV every midnight so when I hear another announcement from the government I just roll my eyes because I know it’s gonna be another hour-long speech that not only has absolutely zero substance to it, but made everyone unnecessarily stay up that late. What are you currently worried about? I’m worried about my remaining academic requirements. With the suspension of online classes and the lockdown being extended until April 30 (which is virtually the end of the semester), I have no idea what’s gonna become of our academic calendar and my grades – and the status of my graduation.

A notable school in the country already mass-promoted (read: passed) all their students and is planning to give tuition fee refunds since only two months of the sem were used. It’s honestly the most responsible thing to do for now and I hope all other universities follow suit.

Do you think aliens exist? I believe we aren’t the only ones alive out here but I also don’t think they look like the creatures books or movies have made them out to be. What mythical creature do you wish actually existed? Meh, was never a fan of anything mythical/mythological. What are you interested in that most people aren't? Pro wrestling. In my 15 years of being a fan I’ve only found literally a handful of people (at least who are also Filipino) who shared the same passion or amount of interest as I have. It’s just never been a popular topic or fanbase here so I never get to bring it up – and I’m afraid to bring it up because people seem to judge anyone still into wrestling these days. What's the most ridiculous thing you have bought? My most pointless purchase was a pink bar of soap with lettering that says “Gay Bar.” It’s a novelty item at best and I never needed to buy it, but I had money that day so I did and now it’s gathering dust in one of my drawers. What sounds hit you with major nostalgia every time you hear them? The PS1 start-up noise is a big candidate. If given the oppurtunity to open a museum, what kind would you create? They have museums about everything now, so I think it’d be a good idea to turn to my roots and make an ancestral house instead and have it in our home province. My family has a rich history and it’d be a waste if we allowed ourselves to forget. When was the last time you immediately regretted what you said? I think last night? We were having pork belly bought from outside for dinner and I was talking about how good it tasted and that it was the best thing I’ve had in a while. I forgot my dad has been cooking us a different meal every single day since the quarantine started and they all have tasted amazing as well. After I realized what I said I felt like shit and immediately downplayed the pork belly so that he didn’t feel left out. What's the silliest thing you've seen someone get upset about? My mom is a champion of this list lmao, there’s so much stupid shit she’s thrown a fit over. The most ridiculous one happened last year when my sister sprained her ankle and my mom would not help her walk around and even walked faster than the rest of us. It was like she was purposely leaving us behind, which confused and pissed me off. Anyway I was left assisting Nina as she hobbled on. Eventually I caught up to my mom and asked her to slow down and to be with us and to help my sister walk. Apparently it was enough to piss her off and the whole ride home she was yelling at me and legitimately sobbing about how humiliated she was when I called her out because she thinks people overheard and are judging her for it. I mean if you’re afraid of getting judged isn’t that proof you know you did something shitty?

The sermon also turned personal and she started screaming about how I was a horrible daughter and that I’ve never done anything right, and that I was a disappointment, and that I was straying further from God everyday and she could see the horns growing on my head. How’s that for abusive? What was the best thing that happened to you today? I finally finished the level I’ve been stuck on in Mario Kart 8 and now I’m officially done with the game. I’ve never finished any video game before so it feels pretty bitching!!!!!!!!! Do you consider yourself a good cook? I don’t even consider myself a cook. What's the dumbest thing someone has argued with you about? ^ The thing I just talked about, even though it wasn’t technically an argument because my mom didn’t let me talk throughout.

The next dumbest thing I could think of is probably when my grown-ass aunt fought me back when I was 13 on whether Beyoncé lip-syncs or not. It was a random family discussion and I was just talking about how much I like Beyoncé and she not only stole my thunder by picking a fight with me, but she also made me feel bad about something I loved lol. She was so insistent that she lip-syncs and was so hungry for an argument, I didn’t understand why?????? so I just dropped it and rolled my eyes at my dad. IT’S SO DUMB RIGHT What did you google last? Information I needed for an article I’m currently writing. What fashion trend makes you cringe or laugh everytime you see it? Skirts paired with either denim jeans or leggings, and short vests. All the Disney stars wore them and it was the epitome of fashion for us at the time aaaahhhhhhahahahahaha. What's your favorite holiday movie? LOVE ACTUALLY. For sure. I’d also say It’s A Wonderful Life but it has some very low points that ruins the Christmas-yness for me. How ambitious are you? I’m pretty ambitious and also a bit of a perfectionist, but I’m also aware of my limits and I don’t always jump onto tasks feeling confident. I know what I’m capable of so if I’m faced with something I know other people can be better at, I’ll consciously be less ambitious at it cos I usually let my insecurity get in the way. What was the biggest realization you have had about yourself? As someone who’s always thrived on being an introvert, the last few months and years have taught me that I CAN talk to people if I have to? And they’re not scary? I had little hope for myself prior to my internship - but it ended up being fun and I met a lot of awesome new people. I also never thought I’d get to write articles solely because I hate interviewing people - but my sources have all been nothing but nice to me. I guess what I’m trying to say is I’ve always doubted my ability to talk to people and dive in to unfamiliar scenarios, but when I do either it’s always turned out to be great experiences for me.

What topic could you spend forever talking about? If we’re going for what’s been the most recent hot topic, it would be the government’s incompetence in dealing with COVID-19 so far. Which way should toilet paper hang, over or under? Over. What word is a lot of fun to say? I dunno. I don’t think of words in terms of how fun they are to say. Maybe curse words? HAHAHA If you didn't have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time? Assuming the internet is nothing to worry about, I’d watch all the series I’ve long planned on watching but can’t because Netflix does a big pull on the entire household’s connection. Are you usually early or late? Early or on time. There is no ‘late’ for me. What do you wish you knew more about? The future. Not knowing the answers to it is so irritating/boring to me. What is the most annoying question you've been asked? Asking if I go to rallies/am an activist/am part of the NPA just because of the school I come from. None of those things are bad at all, but I’ve always been annoyed at the stereotyping. How different was your life 1 year ago? I wasn’t graduating yet then. And I was OUTSIDE MOST DAYS because there wasn’t any fucking virus. What movie title best describes your life? Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, except I literally have to be stuck at home. What was the last lie you told? Telling my groupmates I had some family stuff at home to fix before getting started on our group project, but really I had to take a bath first because I wanted to feel fresh while working. It’s a minor lie, but it still made me feel bad. What type of music do you listen to? It’s usually varied but my go-to genres are indie pop, electropop, alternative rock, punk rock, *some* indie, R&B, and pop.

Are you a good listener? Yeah, it’s why I prefer to be one than a talker. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? Cookies and cream or some peanut butter/chocolate concoction. Do you think you're brave? I can be. Just not about everything. What are you most grateful for in your life? The relatively comfortable life we live considering where we live. And that covers everything from the food we eat, the schools we’ve been sent to, where we get to travel (or the fact that we can travel at all), etc.

What was the worst phase in your life? My rebellious, no-one-understands-me, angsty teen phase when I was 12-13 and my time readjusting in college when I was 18-19. What is a relationship deal breaker for you? Verbal abuse. What are some things that give you complete peace of mind? Staying in coffee shops, driving at midnight, views of the skyline at night, staying on the rooftop at night and being under the stars... I just like a lot of things about the night. Would you like to explore another planet? Yesssssss. Who was your favorite cartoon character as a child? Spongebob. Cosmo from The Fairly Oddparents comes at a close second. What would you do if you were the president of your own country? Right now? I’d assure people everything was being taken care of – mass testing, support for doctors, provision of PPEs and free transportation for frontliners, making all the senators (who are all expectedly not doing anything, save for one) work their asses off, put part of the P275B fund to assist middle- and lower-class people who can’t  – instead of imposing shoot-to-kill orders for the military to anyone criticizing the government or rambling about absolutely fucking nothing in nation addresses.

[some-triangles]

zenosanalytic replied to your photoset “totaldivasepisodes: IT’S HAPPENING”

what is going on here???

Ah.  Well.

Back in 2008, a young Canadian nerd named Kenny Omega came to Japan and joined a company called Dramatic Dream Team, which is to this day the silliest major wrestling promotion in the world.  There he met Kota Ibushi, a wildly talented high-flyer.   Together they became the Golden☆Lovers.

(That’s one of their finishing moves, the Golden Shower.  Their other one - and this is almost certainly Kenny’s doing - was called PK Kokoro Ω.)

The thing that brought Kenny and Kota together, beyond their athleticism, was a certain sense of the absurd, combined with a willingness to push the boundaries of what wrestling could be.

Here’s Kenny:

Here’s Kota:

They were, in short, a couple of performance artists.   One aspect of this performance outside the ring was their continued selling of the idea that the connection between them went deeper than tag team partners.  They could have been overt about it - they were after all in a promotion that featured Danshoku Dino, the World’s Gayest Wrestler - but they weren’t playing it for laughs.  One feels that Kenny, otaku that he is, knew exactly what he was doing:

and a certain kind of fan was obligingly ready to pick up the threads.

The team lasted until 2014, when Kenny left DDT and became a full-time member of New Japan, turning heel and joining the bullet club.  (Kenny, who was at this point fluent in Japanese, would as a heel only do interviews in English, which was a very neat touch.)   The comedy drained out of Omega’s character little by little - in time he became leader of Bullet Club, made his way up the card and garnered international attention for a series of excellent matches he had with New Japan’s champion, Kazuchika Okada.  He is now possibly the most famous non-WWE wrestler in the world.  

Ibushi, meanwhile, went walkabout, wrestling all over the world for various promotions (including briefly for WWE) and leaving a trail of chaos in his wake.  Here he is in a back alley in London in 2016 shooting himself in the chest with a roman candle.

Throughout all this, Kota was never too far from Kenny’s thoughts:

In 2017, after a period spent wrestling part-time disguised as an anime character, Kota finally came back and properly joined New Japan.  Kenny and Kota were both entered in the same tournament, and Kenny seemed more concerned with facing Kota than with winning. They were ultimately unable to fight each other - Kota didn’t win his division, Kenny won his but lost the tournament - which led to this:

Which is as perfectly staged a bit of shipteasing as I’ve ever seen.

This gets us up to present time.  Cody Rhodes, Kenny’s disloyal lieutenant in the Bullet Club, has picked a fight with Ibushi, to Kenny’s disgust.  (”What did I say to you, Cody?  Anyone but him.  Anyone but him.”)  This led to Kenny saving Kota from a beatdown at the hands of his teammates.    Finally, last night, Kenny lost a significant match to an upstart newcomer and Cody took the opportunity to make his move.   Cody turned on Kenny, splitting the bullet club.  Ibushi came out to make the save.  And finally:

[alphacrone]

All Decked Out Like a Cowboy's Dream

[Part of the Blue-Eyed Jack ‘Verse]

CW: food mentions, homophobia mentions, being publicly out

When Jack and Bitty started publicly dating, the internet, well...the internet broke, just a little.

Though they were only known in their respective circles -- most of Bitty’s colleagues hadn’t heard of Jack and vice versa -- it was a big deal. Bitty was suddenly hailed as the “gay Carrie Underwood” and Jack had to order a moratorium on all jokes about his sexy “tractor.” They got the usual “keep your private life private” criticism from the AFA people (“Would that I could, y’all.”) and some nasty remarks from sports commentators, but it wasn’t as if either of them was coming out for the first time.

Mostly they both just had to suffer through the Blue-Eyed Jack memes. It seemed a fair price to pay for being able to date openly.

They’d only been dating a few months when Bitty approached Jack with a nervous, hopeful smile. They were in Vancouver on a short vacation together, walking hand-in-hand through the Granville Island market, pointing at the seagulls stealing food and laughing. They’d wandered down away from the market proper to a boat dock, and Jack read out the silliest boat names to Bitty in a straight-faced monotone. If he were being honest with himself, Bitty hadn’t laughed like this in a long time, even with all the time he spent with his goofy band. Jack was special, and Bitty was very, very lucky.

“So, I, uh, wanted to run something by you,” Bitty said as they fell into a comfortable silence. “You’re not busy on June 15th, are you?”

Jack raised an eyebrow. The Falcs had been knocked out of playoffs in the first round, hence the vacation -- Jack had needed to get far away and Bitty had needed to comfort his boyfriend in person. “I don’t have anything planned. Why?”

“Well, um…” Bitty scuffed his toe against the sidewalk. “That’s the night of the CMT Music Awards. I have a plus-one, was thinkin’ of reaching out to Troye Sivan to be my date, back before you. But, um...I know you don’t like public events…”

“Bits.” Jack squeezed his hand tighter and grinned. “I’d love to be your plus-one.”

“Really?” Bitty let out a deep sigh and leaned up against Jack’s arm. “That’s...I’m happy.”

“I’ve never been to Nashville outside of playing the Preds,” Jack said. “You’ll have to show me the sights.”

Bitty laughed, feeling a million times lighter. “Oh, yeah, I can show you all the crappy dives I used to play at. Oh! And the diner where I used to wash dishes. The fry cook there let me help him, sometimes, on slow nights. He even admitted my flapjacks were better than his.” Bitty sighed, swinging Jack’s arm up and around his shoulder so he could tuck himself in against his boyfriend. “As soon as I hit my break, I sent him money for his daughter’s school supplies. I sent money to every bar owner in the city who gave me a chance, too, and the blues band that found me on the streets that first week and gave me a couch to crash on. There are a lot of snakes in Nashville,” he continued, voice growing softer. “But if it hadn’t been for the good people, I don’t even know if I would’ve survived. I try to visit them all, every time I’m in town. Gotta remember your roots,” he added with a laugh. “When interviewers ask about my family, I tell ‘em that the kind folks of the world are my family, and I’m theirs.”

Jack bent down suddenly to kiss Bitty, soft and sweet. “I don’t know how someone as positive and gracious as you ever agreed to date someone like me,” he said, smile teasing. “But I’m very, very glad.”

“Well, according to TMZ, it’s for your NHL paycheck,” Bitty chirped, slipping his hand into the back pocket of Jack’s jeans. “And this fella here.” He squeezed Jack’s ass, laughing.

Jack snorted and pulled Bitty along the path, back up to the crowded market. “C’mon, I saw a cheese stand inside. I know how you are about fancy cheeses.”

“You get me,” Bitty said, fluttering his eyelashes. “Lead the way, Mr. Zimmermann.”

  Despite Bitty renting a perfectly good house with his band, Jack got himself an overpriced suite in a fancy hotel as a treat for the two of them after the awards. Bitty suddenly didn’t care if Bitty & the Biscuits won anything -- he just wanted to spend the evening drinking with his band and then retire to the giant bed with ridiculously soft pillows to spend some alone time with his favorite person.

Unfortunately, that meant his favorite person wasn’t at the house to get ready with Bitty and the rest of the band. Their rented car would swing by the hotel to pick up on the way, but while Jack got to dress and primp in peace, Bitty was running around the house with three other panicked guys plus their dates and several stylists.

Despite his threat to invite Alexei Mashkov to the awards, Ransom had settled on Lardo as his date because he thought their height difference was hilarious and would make for great red carpet photos. Dex, the giant nerd that he was, had flown his grandmother down from Maine to be his plus-one. Chowder was bringing his girlfriend, Caitlin, whose natural Cara Delevingne brows and Target-sale-rack dress put them all to shame.

Bitty himself was dressed in a snazzy sky-blue suit with the top buttons of his shirt undone. His hair was coiffed spectacularly -- “The higher the hair, the closer to God,” he’d joked with his stylist. -- and his shoes were gold and shinier than anything. Bitty looked good and he hoped Us Weekly agreed.

Somehow, they managed to get the whole band and their dates into the small, white limo on time and headed towards the hotel where Jack was waiting. Ransom and Lardo kept chirping him about “seeing the bride before the wedding” or something equally as dumb, but Bitty simply ignored them and texted Jack that they were on their way.

When they pulled up to the taxi circle in front of the hotel, Bitty literally felt his jaw drop. Because there, waiting, in the tightest jeans he’d ever seen and a pair of gosh darn cowboy boots stood his boyfriend and sexiest man alive. His ass was a national treasure when he wore tennis shoes and basketball shorts; when he wore heeled boots and well-tailored jeans? The Zimmer-booty was the eighth modern wonder of the world.

“Well, shit, Bits,” Lardo said, following his gaze. “You hit the Jack-pot.”

Ransom snorted with laughter and Bitty couldn’t even find it in himself to be annoyed. He wondered how rude it would be to skip the awards and drag Jack upstairs to his suite immediately.

The driver came around and opened the door for Jack, and he crawled in with a shy grin. “You look really, really great,” he told Bitty, taking in his blue suit and styled hair. “You’re gonna steal the show.”

Bitty shook his head slowly. “No, I don’t think I am.”

When Jack cocked his head in confusion, Lardo clarified. “You look hot, Jack. You broke Bitty.”

“Really?” Jack looked surprised, then smug. “But it’s so early in the evening.”

The entire limo ooh-ed in dramatically scandalized tones. Even Dex’s grandmother laughed at the insinuation. Ransom elbowed Bitty in the ribs until Bitty smacked his arm hard.

“Shush,” Bitty said as the car began to drive again. “Let’s just discuss this year’s drinking game.”

“Alright,” Dex said, pulling a piece of paper from his pocket. “Take a shot every time someone trips or falls. Take a drink for every cowboy hat you see. Take a sip for every time Carrie Underwood changes her outfit. Oh!” Dex sighed and shoved the paper back into his jacket. “Chug your drink every time someone makes an off-color joke about us.”

“Great,” Ransom said. “We’ll be wasted within an hour.”

“None of them better say anything ugly about you boys,” Grandma Poindexter said crossly. “Else they’ll answer to me.”

“Wow, Dex,” Chowder said. “Your grandma is, like, way cooler than you.”

The boys chirped and fought the entire ride to the awards, leaving Bitty to reign in his overwhelmed little heart in relative peace.

  They didn’t win.

Bitty really hadn’t been expecting to, but it stung all the same.

Still -- he’d gotten to take drunk selfies with Kacey Musgraves and Jack had found Mike Fisher pretty quickly, two hockey boys in a sea of country stars. (Bitty could see the headlines already: Hockey Invasion?) There’d only been one tone-deaf gay joke about him, and Willie Nelson had smiled at him as he passed by his table. Dolly came over at one point to hug him tightly and make him promise to spend a day in the studio with her so they could record a duet or two. All in all, it had been a good evening.

And it was about to get better.

Bitty’s drunkenness had faded into a tired sort of buzz by the time he and Jack were dropped off at the hotel. They staggered to the room, giggly and sluggish. Bitty jumped onto the bed and kicked off his shoes, relishing the expensive squishiness of the mattress pad.

“You hungry, bud?” Jack asked, closing the door behind him. He shed his sports jacket, revealing the tight, white t-shirt underneath. Lord, he was the spitting image of the country hunk Bitty had dreamt about as a teenager. It suddenly really didn’t matter that Bitty & the Biscuits had lost -- Bitty had his award right here.

“Starving,” Bitty said, trying to sound suggestive, but the rumbling of his stomach ruined the moment.

Jack pulled out the room service menu, sitting down on the bed next to Bitty. “I could go for a burger. You wanna split a dessert?”

Bitty smiled up at Jack. “I want to make a comment about you being my dessert, but I also really want something smothered in chocolate.”

Jack laughed and pulled Bitty up until he was leaning against his chest. “Cheeseburger and fries for me. A ‘molten lava brownie deluxe’ for dessert. And…?”

“Ooh, fettuccine alfredo,” Bitty said with a happy sigh. “Yes, please.”

“It worries me how much dairy you eat,” Jack said teasingly. “And one giant bowl of cream and carbs, coming right up.”

“Just for that, you’re not getting any,” Bitty said petulantly. “Of either sort.”

Jack laughed and kissed Bitty’s head. “Will you love me again if I take you out for breakfast in the morning?”

“Maybe.” Bitty snuggled in closer, biting lightly at the underside of Jack’s jaw. “Will there be biscuits and gravy?”

“Of course,” Jack said. “To continue your diet of cream and carbs.”

“Chirp, chirp, chirp,” Bitty huffed. “It’s like you don’t want to get laid at all.”

“Bittle,” Jack said seriously, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “I saw how you looked at my ass all night. I have no fears about not getting laid.”

Bitty pouted and slapped Jack’s stomach lightly. “I knew I should’ve called Troye,” he said grumpily. “Troye wouldn’t be this rude to me.”

Jack laughed. “Troye’s ass wouldn’t look this good in jeans, either.”

“Ugh, just order the food you narcissist,” Bitty said. “You know the true way to my heart is through my stomach.”

“That I do,” Jack said smugly, leaning down to kiss Bitty again before picking up the phone. “That I do.”

“Love you, Cowboy,” Bitty murmured as Jack dialed the front desk. “Love you, too,” Jack whispered. “Hello? Yes, I’d like to order room service…”

[READ PART FOUR]

[OMGCP Country Singer AU]

[My writing tag]

[My online novel, The Discourt Knife]

[the1975hqs]

The Flask, a 17th-century former coaching inn at the top of Highgate Hill in north London, has seen its share of poetic outsider figures. Dick Turpin purportedly hid out in the stables. Byron, Shelley and Keats dropped by after visiting the opium-addicted local resident Coleridge. Now Matt Healy, leader of the pop interlopers the 1975 and cutting a Byronic dash himself with a wayward thatch of curls and rose-painted leather jacket and jeans, is in the Flask’s cellar-like back room.

He’s explaining how the Wilmslow band’s heavy presence at this year’s Brit awards — nominations for best British group and album of the year, plus a live appearance — is proof that rank outsiders can upset the mainstream.

“It’s an important moment for us because we’re a subversive act to have broken through on such a level that the Brits would want us to perform,” says Healy, 27, staring intensely over the weathered wooden table. “I’m not from the Brits’ world. I shouldn’t be there and everyone needs to know that. I couldn’t get arrested until I was 23.” He thinks about this for a moment. “Actually, I did get arrested when I was 23, but you know what I mean. I suffer massively from impostor syndrome.”

A cynic might point out that as far as impostors go Healy is an unusually well-connected one. His mother is Denise Welch, alumna ofCoronation Street and Loose Women, and his father is the actor Tim Healy of Auf Wiedersehen, Pet.

“I answered the phone to Harold Pinter once,” Matt Healy offers. “My parents did make following a creative pursuit seem like a viable life choice, but Coronation Street doesn’t buy you currency in rock’n’roll. It’s a curse, actually. When people say my parents bought my connections I think: ‘Yeah, the best person to get you a record deal is Curly Watts. Mention Gail Tilsley to Universal Records and you’ve got a No 1 album in America.’ ”

Forming the band during lunch breaks at Wilmslow High School in 2002 when they were only 13, Healy, guitarist Adam Hann, bassist Ross MacDonald and drummer George Daniel went under a variety of names before settling on the 1975. They vowed to reflect a young, internet-bred generation’s relationship with music where there are no guilty pleasures any more, just an endless world of choices from which to cherry-pick. This approach — of combining everything from shiny pop and gothic introspection to overblown stadium rock, and aligning it all to the terminal oversharer Healy’s emotionally wrought lyrics — led to such glorious moments as playing a concert in Stornoway, on the Isle of Lewis, to an audience of one.

Full interview under the cut

“We were a band with an identity crisis,” Healy says. “I was going around telling people we were the ambassadors of a generation who approach music in a non-linear way, who don’t think in terms of genre. The only problem was nobody was interested.”

Gradually, word got out. The 1975’s self-named debut from 2013 was a hit. When the preposterously titled I Like It When You Sleep, For You Are So Beautiful Yet So Unaware of It went to No 1 in 2016, the 1975 became Britain’s biggest cult band. Now here we are on a rainy January lunchtime and the wildly entertaining Healy is grappling with his conflicted feelings on stardom.

“Can you even be a rock star today?” he asks, talking as much to himself as to me. “The only way I can be a rock star is to be a humble egomaniac. I am saying: love me, with no top on, in a pair of leather trousers, but that obnoxiousness comes with genuine fragility and fear because it’s important for people to feel personally addressed when it comes to art. I’d rather talk about a part of myself that I have a profound distaste for than paint myself in a good way.”

What part of himself does he have a distaste for? “I’m constantly apologising for being pretentious and egotistical,” he says. “And I don’t like it that I can’t have platonic relationships with women. I don’t know why that is. I don’t sexualise women and I’m not misogynistic, but perhaps I’m such an atheist that the closest I can get to divinity is the feeling you have when a woman likes you . . .” He puts his hands over his mouth. “Oh no! This is all going a bit Ron Burgundy!”

Healy does tend to let his mouth run away from him in a way not dissimilar to Will Ferrell’s portentous character in Anchorman. In an interview with The Times in 2014 he pondered on whether he might actually be the Messiah. Last year he got into hot water after recalling Taylor Swift coming to one of the 1975’s concerts. Reflecting on the hysteria surrounding her, he wondered if it would be emasculating to be her boyfriend. The celebrity blogger Perez Hilton picked up on it and interpreted it as an insult against Swift. It also started a rumour that Healy was Swift’s boyfriend.

“Imagine what it is like being Taylor Swift,” says Healy now. “A guy you met for five minutes gets so badgered by questions about you, he inevitably says something that can be misheard as a shade. It made me realise how mental her world is.”

Healy is like your loudest, silliest friend who became famous by mistake and is still working out what you’re meant to do. When he tells of sharing a Saturday Night Live green room with Larry David, Ben Stiller and Bernie Sanders or recalls Dolly Parton calling him a cutie, you sense his awe.

“Mate, I’m just a snot-nosed teenager from Wilmslow and I’ve taken that world with me. The guy who used to do our merchandise is now my assistant, but I can’t call him my assistant because it’s Dan from maths who I used to sit next to. I’d like to say that backstage is like a meeting of Ginsberg, Blake and Lennon. Actually it’s more like The Inbetweeners with us playing Fifa and calling each other dickheads. Put me in a room with famous people and I’m rubbish. When David Byrne was in the dressing room next to ours I was the most uncool person in the world. I was lingering by the door, waiting for David Byrne to come out. Then he appears just as I’m opening a bag of Haribo, I’m shocked, they split open and go everywhere, he walks past me without saying anything and I’m just a dick with a bag of sweets.”

Then there are the fans, who are for the most part teenage girls who identify deeply with Healy while also finding him extremely attractive. “I do take my artistic responsibility seriously because with some of my fans it gets heavy,” he says, looking serious for a moment. “Someone sent me razor blades she tried to kill herself with. She was giving them to me to make sure she never did it again. Kids draw me all the time. I used to have my own emotional baggage. Now I have to buy a suitcase on every tour just for all the emotional baggage I get sent.”

Is that a burden? “No because I totally get it. Fundamentally what people want is human connection. Regardless of religion, or whether the world will come to an end, or what worlds may have come before, the only thing that will actually, definitely happen is interaction with another human being.”

All of this fed into I Like It When You Sleep . . . , its title an expression of Healy’s desire to make an album as over the top and emotionally unchained as possible. The funky, Prince-like Love Me is his response to becoming an icon of sorts; Ugh! is an expression of disgust at his former cocaine excess; The Ballad of Me and My Brain is a depiction of being driven insane by fame; and Loving Someone is a celebration of companionship that has become something of an anthem for the LGBT community. Healy says the album is the product of a band facing up to the crisis of finding themselves, after years of indifference, very popular indeed.

“We freaked out!” says Healy, excitedly, of their sudden success. “We spent ten years in my dad’s garage without anyone caring who we were. Nobody would sign us, so our manager formed a label and signed us for 20 quid in his kitchen, while making pasta and pesto. And then it happened. We were on tour for two years, suddenly it was time to make the second album and we didn’t know if we could do it. George had a breakdown and had to get help. And what was there to write about? I knew I couldn’t release a single called God, Aren’t Threesomes a Nightmare?”

He considers this. “Not that I was having threesomes, but nobody else was sharing our experiences so I had to go deep. What are the fundamentals? Fear, religion, struggles with addiction, my relationship with my mother, dealing with death . . . And I can’t change who I am. When it comes down to it I’m a gaunt, insecure person who is writing about being young and doing drugs.”

You can’t help but like him. He may be completely self-obsessed, but at least he has the grace to acknowledge it. (“I don’t think I’m Marc Bolan, but I like the fact that you might think that I think I’m Marc Bolan.”) And there’s something generous about the way he wants to give you everything he has to offer, whether you are a fan watching him preen on the stages of the world or a journalist wondering if, after an hour and a half of non-stop chat, he might feel like stopping soon. He is a rock star born in an age when being a rock star without a degree of irony is no longer viable.

“I started out in a band because it made me happy,” he concludes. “Then all this stuff happened, I got scared and I didn’t know why I was doing it any more until I remembered: because it makes me happy! This is my life. I would be selling flowers on Brent Cross roundabout if it weren’t for the 1975.”

[lalka-laski]

1 Which would you rather learn more about: Christianity or Rastafari? I know very little about Rastafari so I’d be curious to learn more. 

2 When was the last time you cried listening to a song? What song was it & what made you cry? I cry at nearly every song so it’s hard to say. 

3 If you have a YouTube account, what do you use it for? I have one just for the purpose of saving/liking videos and subscribing to channels that interest me. Oh, and I do have a separate account I made for a class once where I was required to upload a presentation. 

4 How often do you watch interviews with musicians/celebrities? Pretty often, actually. But only celebrities I care about, most of whom aren’t alive or currently popular anymore. 

5 How often do you read biographies/search up more information about musicians/celebrities? Also pretty often. I’ve always taken an interest in pop culture. AND I’ve always had a bad habit of fixating on/becoming attached to certain celebs. 

6 Do you enjoy visiting book stores? What section are you typically drawn to? Glenn & I have a standing Saturday date at Barnes & Noble (well, pre-Covid we did). I’m mostly drawn to contemporary fiction, self-help and celebrity biographies. But our guilty pleasure is sneaking off to the “cozy mystery” section & looking for the silliest and punniest titles. So far, the best we’ve found were “Hummus and Homicide” and “Stabbed in the Baklava.” 

7 Is there something about Xanga users that used to frustrate you that no longer does? Xanga was a little before my time. I have no memories of it. 

8 Here’s a typical question, which do you feel is worse: using marijuana or using alcohol? Why? I’m a frequent drinker and a very, very INfrequent smoker but I recognize that alcohol poses more risks than marijuana. Not that weed is as harmless and pot-smokers want to believe but... 

9 Have you ever had any bad experiences while under the influence? My years of about 16-21 were characterized by poor choices while partying. I don’t want to discuss this much further but it is what it is. 

10 The last time you went out to eat, who were you with & where did you go? Did you enjoy yourself/the meal? I actually got Panera with my mom last week & it was my first meal out in MONTHS (thanks, Covid). In all seriousness, going out to eat is one of my favorite activities and just one of those little things in life that makes me happy. So not being able to do that was tough.

11 How would you feel if you had to deal with the police? Would you feel nervous, upset, angry? I’m always nervous around authority figures of any kind, but especially police. And I don’t care for them as a whole. So I’d probably be all of the above. 

12 Have you ever had to deal with the principals at school? For what? I never actually got into trouble but I have had meetings with them to discuss incidents I was affected by, if that makes sense? 

13 Have you ever done anything pretty daring/against the law with a police officer around? No

14 Is singing something that you enjoy doing? Do you feel you are a horrible, alright or very good singer? I love singing. I’ve been told I’m pretty decent but I’m by no means *good*. 

15 What is something you’ve never done in front of/around your best friend? That’s a tough call because my friends and I are VERY open (some may argue too open) so there aren’t many sides of me they haven’t seen. 

16 Are you looking forward to Halloween? I do enjoy Halloween. It’s not something I necessarily look forward to or base my whole year around the way some people do but yeah, I like it!

17 What is the best spirit day your school has? If you’re graduated, what kinds of spirit days did your school have? There were different themed days throughout the week. All of them were a blast!

20 Who would you rather meet: Marilyn Manson or Skrillex? If you don’t know who either of them are, would you be interested in making dubstep or any kind of music along those lines? Glenn was a huge Marilyn Manson fan back in the day & I do have respect for his music, even if it’s not my taste. So it’d be cool to meet him.

21 Do you like to make playlists? What kinds of playlists do you usually make? I have a few on Spotify. It’s actually something I’ve been meaning to do more often.  22 Is there anything that you’re terrified of due to past negative experiences? What is it? Uh yeah. But we don’t have to get into it. 

23 When was the last time you had a dream related to something that had happened that day? Can you explain it? Often my dreams have no rhyme or reason, so I couldn’t tell ya. 

24 How often do you have hot flashes? Are you able to deal with it or does it frustrate you? Honestly, very often! Ok, they might not be technical “hot flashes” but I overheat like crazy even in cold settings. It’s bad!