#that’s the only reference to Hades in the dance lmao

[persephoneflowerpetals]

Shout out to Just Dance 2024 for giving my beloved Hades a cameo in the Zero to Hero dance

[contraststudies]

Thank you for tagging me, @tawnyontumblr​! I’m very bad at doing these writer meme things, so here goes nothing.

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

45 and counting!

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

376,429. Holy moly that is a fuck ton of words (I only properly started posting on AO3 last May iirc).

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Four: Critical Role, Good Omens, Hades, and Kill La Kill.

4) What are your top five fics by kudos?

This list is bookended by two PWPs, which I find hilarious given that I seem to have misplaced my smut brain cell sometime in the last couple of months.

On The Matter of Traffic Violations (Good Omens, E)

“Officer Fell,” Crowley says, and leans forward, enough to give Fell a good view of his décolletage. He tilts his head in the way he knows people find deliciously coquettish, glad that he’d had the foresight to apply some mascara before heading out. “I’m so very sorry about this,” he says, looking up at the officer through his lashes. “It’s late, you know, no cars around… Didn’t notice how fast I was going, that’s all.”

[Or: Crowley flirts his way out of a traffic violation.]

Unbinding (Critical Role, T)

This is a great honor, Essek reminds himself, trying not to recoil as fingers run through his hair, working through the tangles. A braid is made of three strands, symbolizing the inextricable bond between the soul, the den, and the Luxon. A recognition of an achievement by the drow who bears it. With each braid, the soul is bound ever closer to its den and to the Luxon.

It is a lesson Essek learned long ago, but one he is never permitted to forget.

[Or: the story of why the Shadowhand wears his hair cropped short.]

No Church In The Wild (Good Omens, E)

The stem of the wineglass in Aziraphale’s hand snaps cleanly in two, but no one seems to hear it—every eye in the room is trained on the redheaded dancer sashaying to the gleaming silver pole, centre stage for all to see.

Oh, Aziraphale thinks faintly. Good lord.

[Or: the one where Aziraphale gets assigned to the red light district.]

abide gold with me (Critical Role, T)

“Okay, Cay-leb,” Jester says, stretching out the syllables affectionately. “You sit right here so we can watch you and Essek try an orange for the first time.”

The Primal Scene (Good Omens, E - a collab with @lookitsstevie​!)

Harriet notices that there’s a crack of light at the end of the hallway coming from the door to the library, and her mood brightens considerably. Perhaps the tutors are still here, putting together their lessons for the next day before they leave for the night. She leans down to pick up a piece of cloth that’s fallen on the rug. Her breath catches in her throat when she realizes what it is – a necktie with a familiar tartan pattern.

She nearly drops the tie in shock at the unmistakable sound coming from the closed door of the library. A sharp, quickly stifled moan.

[Or: Harriet Dowling accidentally bears witness to divine ecstasy.]

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try. I really do. My friends (and maybe some of my readers) know that this is difficult for me, mainly because any sort of recognition reduces me to a gibbering pile of tears. I’m working on it though, even if it does take me a million years to respond to anything on AO3. 

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

God, which one do I choose. I have been referred to as an angst gremlin for a very good reason. I’m gonna go with The Remains of the Day, a Good Omens fairy tale AU I wrote loosely based on Bluebeard.  

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I HAVE. I wrote philtatos, a crossover of Good Omens and The Iliad/The Song of Achilles. It’s the only crossover I’ve ever written, unless we’re counting Variations of an Arrangement, which could loosely count as a crossover of the book/radio/TV versions of Good Omens.

8) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I have not. And hopefully never will.

9) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I do, and it’s usually of the angst with a happy ending variety.

10) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Hm. How do we define stealing? Just kidding. The short answer is no.

11) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

12) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Got one in the works for Critical Role!

13) What’s your all time favourite ship?

Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes was actually the first ship I ever really got into, and they’ll always have a special place in my heart even if I never wrote anything for that fandom. Crowley/Aziraphale from Good Omens of course, and more recently Caleb Widogast/Essek Thelyss from Critical Role.

14) What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Variations of an Arrangement. I loved writing it, and I still want to finish it one day, but it took a lot of brainpower to write and keep track of the plot and I feel like it’s beyond me, at least right now.

15) What are your writing strengths?

I… hmm. Judging by the way people are always yelling at me in their comments, I guess it’s that I can write stories that make people feel things very deeply.

16) What are your writing weaknesses?

I repeat words so often, it’s embarrassing. I use too many “-ly” adverbs. Also, I find myself using the same turns of phrase across several fics lmao.

17) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Language is a tricky thing. I don’t want to bore you with discourse. I try not to write dialogue in a different language (especially if it’s not one I speak myself) unless it’s absolutely called for, or if they’re just basic phrases and I’m 100% certain I won’t be getting it wrong. I have read fics where this was done very well though, and I’ve found that it really adds to the atmosphere in those cases.

18) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

It was for this old anime called Princess Tutu. I danced ballet when I was younger and loved it so much – I believe I was only twelve at the time?? But I think the fic may still be floating around on FF.net somewhere.

19) What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

I wrote philtatos in a four-day fever dream. It’s not the most technically perfect fic I’ve ever written or anything like that, but I think it’s the one that reveals the most about who I am as a person. That is an incredibly cheesy thing to say, I know. I always joke that posting that fic felt like offering my still-beating heart on a silver platter to the void, but there you are.

For Critical Role, surprisingly enough it’s this ficlet I wrote called sinners, a small bite of Shadowdrei where I was parsing my ideas on Astrid and Eadwulf’s dynamic and where they stood when it came to Bren/Caleb and Essek. I didn’t realize how fully formed my thoughts were until I wrote that. Fascinating what your own writing will show you about the things that are in your mind.

Tagging with no pressure whatsoever: @naromoreau @jenanigans1207 @saretton @theseedsofdoom @musegnome!

[4haechie]

son of apollo!donghyuck

pairing: son of apollo!donghyuck x child of athena!reader genre: fluff, comedy, some adventure/action, pjo au, e2l au words: 3,173 warning: couple of curse words here n there a/n: i reference a bunch of pjo characters in this so if u haven’t read pjo *crowd booing*

so donghyuck’s the son of apollo right

there’s like no arguing when it comes to that

he’s extremely talented at singing and making music, dancing, rapping, songwriting, so he’s no doubt apollo’s offspring

and he’s naturally gifted at archery as well

you can’t spell haechan without ACE teehee

u on the other hand

you’re athena’s child

you love to read and write you’re incredibly smart ofc

you love competing and winning and taking part in strategy making to bring your opponents DOWN 💅🏼

athena’s the goddess of wisdom as well as warcraft so needless to say you’re exceptional in both fields

you’re not just textbook smart, no no, you’re able to apply all the knowledge you learn…well…irl

not to mention you’re good with all kinds of weapons

ur fave weapons include swords and spears :D

you’re okay w knives too!!! and daggers!!! you’re not picky

but you’re better w longer blades just cuz u have more experience w them

fun fact: you’re the head of the athena cabin and donghyuck’s the head of the apollo cabin

you’re both great leaders, always doing your best to make the best strategies to win capture the flag, the chariot races, and other fun activities chiron plans for the campers 😁

but . you guys are Sworn Enemies

actually the better term to use would be “rivals”

you guys r So competitive to the point where you actually developed a rivalry during your first few years at camp half-blood

donghyuck LOVES to win but so do you… so obv he’s gonna go out of his way to make sure he/his cabin wins

that doesn’t mean you’ve ever backed down from his challenges…

if he’s competitive you’re twice as competitive

one day after breakfast during your fifth year at camp when you’re both about 18, chiron decides to host a good old game of capture the flag

u know . for old times’ sake 😼

once he makes the announcement you immediately turn to your cabin mates

“we have to win no matter what”

“y/n, it’s just capture the flag. we’re not fighting gaea”

“bitch are u in or not”

the entire dining hall is buzzing with excitement

nothing makes a demigod’s day like a capture the flag announcement 😌

chiron suddenly grabs the megaphone again and calls out “this time however there’s a little twist,” he chuckles as everybody goes silent

you raise an eyebrow

“you’ll be in teams of course. everybody has to play. there’s twenty cabins, so there will be ten teams of two cabins each. i’ll pair you guys up myself. each pair gets a flag–so there’s ten flags in total. the game will be won by the pair who manages to collect all flags and brings them back to their base before anyone has the chance to steal their own flag.”

the demigods burst into intense chatter and discussion once more

you turn your head back to your siblings and tilt your head in slight confusion

you’ve never played capture the flag in teams before

“anyone but apollo. i’m literally begging. sam, pray to athena right now”

“y/n RELAX”

“i think if we’re partners with apollo’s cabin i’ll actually jump into tartarus”

“…”

“what? percy and annabeth survived” 🙄

chiron pulls out a scroll and calls out the pairings one by one

poseidon and demeter, hades and ares (good luck to them), so on and so forth

your heart keeps racing . athena’s name has not been called out yet

and just like that your worst fear comes true

“athena cabin with apollo cabin. the game will commence in thirty minutes, which is how much time you have to prepare. good luck and stay safe!”

you drop your head into your palm (aka head in hands meme jpg)

“this is the worst day of my entire life”

“y/n, you’re hands down the most dramatic person i’ve ever met”

maybe it’s just you–bc your siblings seem fine with the apollo kids

they have so many apollo cabin friends :(

curse u and donghyuck’s little rivalry that the entire camp and chiron knows about

so him putting yall together definitely was not a coincidence cough cough

can u blame him

🌤🌈 he just wants all of u to get along 🌈🌤

he’s seen w his own two centaur eyes what happens when demigods fight between themselves

it’s not healthy

he needs u guys to get along bc u and donghyuck are some of the best demigods at camp rn

ur quick wits and amazing sword skills

his position as the camp’s best archer

imagine how powerful yall would be if u two worked together

if only you got along from the start.. but nooooo

ur egos r just too high F

but anyway, back to the present

you’re sitting there, head in your hands, dreading this already when some of the apollo kids swagger over to your guys’ table

donghyuck is in front of them as he scoffs after seeing your dreadful state

“why the sad face, y/n?”

you lift your head up to see him hovering over your seat and roll your eyes

you get up and your siblings follow

you’re just gonna have to make do. you don’t have time to complain

the thing is

you’ve only lost capture the flag once 👎🏼

a few summers ago the apollo cabin defeated the entire camp leaving everybody speechless

it’s true they didn’t defeat JUST you but somehow you thought it was personal

you had the PERFECT record 😕

zero losses . only wins

but bc of the apollo kids your cabin’s record was tarnished

which is sorta why you started hating them (esp donghyuck their leader) so much

donghyuck caught on immediately and made it a point to compete just as hard as u

so yea. that’s how you became rivals

he knows how much ur gonna hate working with him but u don’t really have a choice now do u :/

so he knows exactly why u have a sad face

but this is donghyuck we’re talking about

just bc yall r “rivals” doesn’t mean he’s not gonna tease u 😂😂😂

(or maybe he teases u bc he thinks ur cute and he hopes one day u realise him teasing is actually donghyuck for flirting 🤭)

“you know damn well why, lee donghyuck”

“oh c’mon i think it’ll be fun! if we combine our skills, we definitely have a hundred percent chance of winning”

you cross your arms and glance at your siblings who just shrug in agreement

you sigh loudly

“don’t even think about fucking this is up, donghyuck. and just so we’re clear, i’m in charge”

he laughs, “yup! got it”

so you start talking strategy

you only have 30 minutes so you need to make the best of it

you divide the two cabins into pairs so that an athena and an apollo kid will be paired together and in charge of smth diff

you have plenty of people on your team – 5 in athena’s cabin and 5 in apollo’s cabin

some will handle weapons and safety gear, some will handle mapping out the playing area which was basically the entirety of the woods, some will be setting up traps near your team’s flag to prevent others from coming close

30 minutes quickly pass and after dividing the work and planning your strategy with donghyuck and friends you turn your attention back to chiron who has his megaphone in hand

everyone’s told to gather outside the dining hall at the open field before the game commences

you, donghyuck, and your teammates briefly talk strategy once more . just to make sure everybody knows what they’re supposed to do

“let the game begin!” chiron blows a loud whistle and the demigods scramble out of the field, going to their designated flag locations

your spot is near a little creek, but the forest around your flag is quite dense so u figure it’s relatively hard to locate

it’s not that late so the afternoon sun makes your skin glisten with sweat

“damn, can you tell your dad to chill tf out for a while,” you tell donghyuck jokingly

he just rolls his eyes but on the inside he’s kinda glad you’re being casual with him rather than 😡😡😡😡😡 like u normally are

u don’t know what it is about him today but u swear he’s acting different around u

he wasn’t… as annoying while discussing strategy ????

he actually ?????? listened ?????? to what u had to say 🤔🤔🤔🤔

he didn’t argue, he didn’t even throw around witty burns like he usually does w/o hesitation

u were like… is he ok

little do u know!!! he actually l*kes u 🤭🤭🤭

well… it’s not a 100% fact that HE himself knows as well

but his siblings caught on to his weird behaviour n figured smth was up

mark being one of hyuck’s closest friends n siblings in the apollo cabin, realised he was acting weird ever since yall got grouped together

he seemed nervous ⁉️ which he never ever is

he’s like the most confident person mark’s ever known

so mark was like *thinks*

after putting two and two together mark came to the conclusion that he might have a small crush on u

bc hyuck kept glancing over at u, kept talking abt how ur a good leader (he’s never gonna tell YOU that tho. he crossed his heart on that one)

mark was like i didn’t even ask but ok

mark was confused at first tho cuz everybody and their mom knows about your guys’ rivalry so why tf would hyuck have a crush on someone he considers his rival

mark decides not to get ahead of himself bc hey!!! maybe he doesn’t have a crush, maybe he just thinks ur a good leader

like that’s it u know?

LMAO 🤫

so anywayz where was i

ah right

the flag

OK SO ur team’s flag is yellow ! :D

it’s like the colour of sunflowers

you and donghyuck r in charge of guarding the flag while ur team members scout around for the other flags

easy peasy

you and donghyuck are at your base now, weapons drawn just in case

the flag is hung on a poll couple feet taller than you

you’re dressed in ur usual training clothes – a pair of washed out shorts, a very old orange camp half-blood shirt; your sword’s sheath hanging from one of the belt loops of your shorts

donghyuck’s dressed similarly – a pair of blue ripped jeans, the same orange camp shirt tucked into them, but he has a purple flannel on, which he takes off and ties around his waist

“it’s so freaking hot,” he says, mentally agreeing with the comment u made about apollo earlier

“tell me about it”

there’s a silence that follows, the only sound heard is the subtle flow of the creek water

you’re thankful for the silence

it’s easier to keep an ear open for opponents on their way to steal your flag

just as you think about it, an ares and a hades kid approach your base

they’re on the other side of the creek, less than ten to fifteen feet away

“hi y/n,” the hades kid you’re kind of close to says

you shoot him a fake smile before holding your sword in front of you

donghyuck pulls out an arrow from his quiver and nocks it in his bow, aiming for the two demigods in front of you

the creek isn’t that deep, so the two demigods cross it with ease

they have their weapons drawn; they’re now a couple of feet away from you and more importantly the flag

no words are said as donghyuck lets his arrow fly and knock the hades’ kid sword out of his hands

he didn’t use an arrow with a sharp tip, you note

the hades’ kid stumbles backwards, imbalanced after he gets unarmed

you stand your ground as the ares’ kid scrambles forward, attacking you with her sword

your blades clash defiantly

you continue to spar with all your might

from the corner of your eye you see that the hades’ kid, sword back in hand, is battling donghyuck on your left

the flag is right behind you and donghyuck; you can’t let the two demigods get near it

you and the ares kid are still battling each other, putting all your strength into making sure she surrenders

but u should know better

ares and athena kids have many similarities like their love for winning, their confidence in battle, etc.

it’s like looking in a mirror

you don’t have anything against this particular ares kid, though

“c’mon, y/n, give up already”

that REALLY makes your blood boil

you never give up, no matter what

with one final blow of your sword, you knock her sword out of her hands, making her think she distracted you with her words

she goes flying back, half her body landing in the creek water

her sword lies in between you and her, but you doubt she’ll have the courage to fight again

the hades kid sees this and quickly scrambles away from hyuck, picking up the ares kid’s sword and giving her a hand up

“this is why i hate you and your siblings–your huge ego always gets in the way,” you hear the hades kid grumble to his partner as they run away from you, shame written all over their defeat

hyuck laughs and wipes sweat from his forehead

you can’t help but laugh either

you love it here at 🧡 camp half-blood 🧡

a few moments pass as your teammates emerge from the dense woods, each pair with a different colour flag held between them

you smile in victory

you quickly bring down your flag from its pole and give it to hyuck

“me? it was your plan…”

“yeah, but i couldn’t have done it without you, hyuck”

he almost passes out at your choice of nickname

back at the main hall, chiron announces your team as the winner, and that the prize yall being excused from doing chores all week long!!!!

it’s not much, but hey, at least you and hyuck ended up working together and winning the game, right?

later, hyuck pulls you aside from your cabin mates, and walks you to the lakeside

you two sit at the deck, side by side, watching the water doing nothing in particular

you watch as hyuck swings his feet lightly, his toes barely touching the water

“y/n, do you hate me?” donghyuck asks out of the blue

you’re like 😳 what

now that he asks you that . like straight up . it makes u think

do u REALLY hate him

or do u just hate losing to him

“why would i hate you?” you question back

“i don’t know? i guess because of our, um, rivalry thing i thought you can’t stand me”

you play with the beads of your camp necklace

“i don’t hate you, donghyuck. i just hate losing. i guess it’s the athena in me,” you laugh at how lame you sound

“i hate losing too, but i don’t hate you, in case you’re wondering.”

he takes a deep breath

“i know we started going against one another ‘cause of that one time my cabin won capture the flag, but i don’t want things to stay this way,” he pushes his hair back

“i guess what i’m saying is… i like working with you.” he pauses

“yeah,” he says, as if more convinced now, “and i would really like to get to know you better,” he clears his throat, very clearly embarrassed

you laugh at his flustered state

“stop laughing at me,” he stretches the last syllable as he lightly shoves you with his shoulder

you’re trying even harder to not laugh now, but for his sake, you hold it in

“that’s probably the cutest thing you’ve ever said”

he crosses his arms, “i’m always cute”

you’re like. THE NERVE?????? 😒😒😒

“how ‘bout we go slow? i mean, we just became un-enemies, we’re gonna need to be friends first, right?” you poke his shoulder

“you make a good point”

“i’m literally athena’s child, but okay”

“shut up!”

✨ time skip ✨

both u and hyuck stay at camp over the holidays which means more bonding time!!! yay!!!!!

a year has passed and u and hyuck r basically bffs, attached at the hip, and everybody except mark is surprised as fuck

rmb the days when hyuck thought u were “cute”?

welp 🤭 he’s at that point where everything u do makes his heart flutter

yeah… he likes u Like A Lot

u have no clue abt his feelings for u and he has no clue abt ur feelings for him either

exactly a year after the iconic capture the flag game, ur both seated at the deck by the lakeside, side by side, again

“y/n…there’s something you need to know”

“if you’re gonna tell me about the mixtape you’re dropping with mark, i literally don’t want to hear it”

“THAT WAS ONE TIME”

“YOU GOT THE ENTIRE CAMP’S HOPES UP FOR NO REASON”

both of you burst into fits of laughter

after calming down, he shoves your shoulder lightly with his shoulder, like he always does (only to u tho)

“no, seriously, i need to tell you something”

“what’s up?”

“i,” he pauses, clears his throat, “like you. a lot–i have for a while now.”

you swear your heart stops beating and your brain explodes

HE? LIKES? U?????????

he continues, “i don’t know if you like me back, but i’ve been wanting to tell you this for so long–guess i didn’t have the courage until recently,” he lets out an airy laugh

you’re looking at him in the eyes now; a subtle shimmer of the afternoon sun sparkling in his eyes

“hyuck, i like you too. how could i possibly not?” you chuckle at his shocked expression

he goes :O

he’s genuinely speechless when you lean forward and press your lips ever so softly onto his

you literally feel him freeze, which worries you for a second, but your worry is washed away when he slowly kisses you back

you melt right then and there

he takes your hand in his, interlocking fingers, as you pull away, a faint pink blush painting both your cheeks

“wow”

“really, y/n? that’s all you have to say? what happened to being wisdom’s child, huh?”

“donghyuck, i SWEAR to ALL THE GODS–!”

your sentence is cut off when he presses his lips onto yours again, you smile into the kiss which causes him to smile with you

he kisses you again and again, and then again, until you’re both a giggling mess

“let’s stay like this forever, yeah? what do you say?” he says, bringing his lips to your forehead, lingering there for a moment before pulling back and looking at you

you look at your intertwined hands, and then back up at him, “i’d like that”

[artificialqueens]

times being what they are (crystal x gigi) - Cupid

orpheus and eurydice lesbian au!

a/n hi so this has so many greek mythology references and i tried to explain each god as much as i could but i didn’t want to turn it into a factfile and draw the story away from the queens, but i hope you still get it. but basically this is the story of orpheus & eurydice but it is crystal & gigi. there are also a lot of song references to the hadestown musical but it’s okay if you don’t know them too cause all they add to the story is poetics lmao.

…

Crystal had practically been raised by the gods. Her mother was a muse, and muses were infamous for abandoning those close to them; leaving with no return. The innocent brunette was left to fend for herself in life, living in the many stretched out meadows across Thrace. Although she often felt lonesome, there was nowhere she wanted to be more than Greece. Living there was like a paradise, only she wished she had someone to live in it with.

As she grew up, the gods gave her strength. The great God Apollo gifted her with a lyre on her sixteenth birthday. Confused as to what it was, the God assisted her by showing her how to pluck each string to create a pleasing melody. Crystal became quickly enticed. The instrument never left her grasp from then on.

After being gifted the lyre, she discovered her ability to charm the animals and make the trees dance around like a gentle wind was being swept through them. However, there was no real ‘gentle wind.’ It was either blazing hot or freezing cold, with no in-between. It had been years since Crystal recalled seeing a spring or fall. What she wanted most in the world was to strum a song so beautiful and powerful, spring would come again. Unfortunately, that dream came with a slight naiveness to the ways of the world. Many would say she wore her heart upon her sleeve.

When she was eighteen, she met Hermes, the great messenger of the Olympian Gods. He liked Crystal’s way of seeing things, so he took her under his wing. The God had heard her melody and recognized it. It was an old song of love from long ago. It told the story of the love between the great Gods Hades and Persephone. It was their relationship that messed up the seasons, and instantly Hermes knew that only Crystal had the capacity to bring the seasons back to normal. She had a way with words, and she sang like a bird upon a line.

Crystal was yet to finish the song, but when it was done, it would bring the seasons back into full bloom, bringing peace to the world and returning it to its rightful state.

She and Hermes stumbled into a bar one night, not long after Crystal’s twenty-first birthday. She was anxious, as she still had not finished her tune.

“It’s okay, Crystal. You have all the time in the world,” Hermes comforted, leaning against the bar counter in a cool manner.

“I just want to help the people,” she replied softly.

“I know you do.”

…

Gigi was a hungry young girl - a runaway from everywhere she’d ever been. She was no stranger to the world, but she never stayed anywhere long enough for anyone to catch her name. Nobody owned her, nobody knew her, and if someone would ever so much as think they recognized her, it was her time to flee. It wasn’t that she was running from an enemy, but she was running from intimacy, as well as the fatal changes in weather that always seemed to take a turn on her.

She felt helpless most of the time. The poor blonde yearned to see a flower bloom, for she heard that is what happened during spring. But instead, all she saw was hunger and hardship, no matter where she went. The only friends she ever had either died of starvation or turned on her just like the wind. She had concluded that, in the end, she was better off alone.

Something curious about the girl was that all her life, she had been followed by a chorus of three women - the Fates. They watched over her as if they were waiting for something to happen. Wherever it was the young girl went, the three women followed close behind.

Gigi struggled to find a purpose. She would sit in bars alone, dreaming of a belly full of food and a bed she could fall into where the weather wouldn’t follow her.

It was yet another blistering night when she found herself reeling in the bitter taste of alcohol to feel something. The bar was dark, and there was no music - just a low hum of chatter between groups of friends. She didn’t bother to look at the people surrounding her in case she accidentally made eye contact.

…

Crystal was only on her second drink when she spotted a young woman across the bar, sitting by a round table and drinking alone. She had dark blonde hair with streaks of gold throughout. Her hair was long and wavy, but it had been tucked under the collar of her large, heavy-looking trench coat. Her neck was covered by a red paisley scarf - much like the one Crystal had around her own neck. She seemed to sink her solemn-looking face into it, and Crystal was overwhelmed with her beauty. The woman was a nymph, which seemed to explain her elegant looks and relaxing presence.

“You aren’t the most discreet,” Hermes smirked, nudging the girl and causing her drink to splash around.

“I can’t help it,” Crystal sighed, “Look at her. Isn’t she ethereal?”

The God smiled and cast a quick glance in the girl’s direction. Crystal had a point. “You wanna talk to her?”

“Yes.”

“Go on.”

Hermes watched as Crystal pushed her seat back, adjusting the buttons on her cream-colored shirt. “Crystal,” he stopped her briefly before she went ahead.

“Yes?”

“Don’t come on too strong.”

The brunette nodded, tugging on one of her tight curls subconsciously as she approached the pretty woman. Right before she sat down, the woman raised her head to shoot a glance at her. She looked amused in an ‘I feel so bad for you right now’ kind of look. Crystal brushed it off.

“Come home with me,” the brunette rushed out, and the woman squinted her eyes instantly, though she seemed unphased.

“Who are you?” she snorted.

“The girl who’s going to marry you,” she swallowed, “I’m Crystal.”

The woman then shot a glance to Hermes who was watching the conversation with a hand cupped over his mouth, trying to hold back pathetic laughter.

“Is she always like this?” the woman inquired.

“Yes,” he responded with a grin.

She rolled her eyes, turning back to Crystal and giving her a pale, slender hand, waiting for her to shake it, “I’m Gigi.”

“Your name is like a melody.”

“A singer?” Is that what you are?”

Crystal felt a blush creep across her face, “I also play the lyre.”

“Oh, a liar and a player too,” Gigi deadpanned, her expression making it hard to differentiate whether or not she was being serious or not, “I’ve met too many people like you…”

“Oh no! I’m not like that…”

Hermes cut in, “She’s not like anyone you’ve met,” both girls turned to look at him, taken aback, “Tell her what you’re working on.”

Crystal nodded quickly, trying to gain all the confidence back from before. Perhaps she had lost her mojo. Perhaps her charm wasn’t as great as Hermes had hyped it up to be.

“I’m working on a song,” she stammered, “It isn’t finished yet, but when it’s done, and when I sing it, spring will come again!”

Gigi was in disbelief. Spring was all she wanted. All these years she had tried to find a way to bring the weather back to how it was before, so there was no way this scrawny little girl’s vocal cords could possibly do the trick. Albeit, the girl was extremely pretty. So much so that she stuck out among others. Out of place yet so, so right. “Come again?” - was all she could think to say.

“Spring will come.”

“When? I haven’t seen or fall since,” she scoffed, “Well, I can’t even remember.”

“That’s what I’m working on,” Crystal asserted, the passion in her voice making it difficult for Gigi not to beam with hope and joy, “A song to fix what’s wrong - to fix what’s broken and make it whole. A song so beautiful, it brings the world back into tune… back into time… and all the flowers will bloom,” she placed a tanned hand over Gigi’s, “When you become my wife.”

Gigi glanced at Hermes once more, her eyes widening, “Oh she’s crazy. Why would I become her wife?”

Hermes folded his arms and shrugged, “Maybe because she’ll make you feel alive.”

Now it was the blonde’s turn to feel her face heat up. Although she had been living for twenty-one years, surviving through many obstacles, she had never truly felt alive. She looked at Crystal - really looked at her - and saw the slight quiver of her lips, as if she were going to burst into tears if Gigi didn’t accept her offer. She was so insanely gorgeous, she made Gigi want to throw away the ability to say no, but that didn’t stop the blonde from teasing her a bit.

“Alive…” Gigi raised a brow, “That’s worth a lot. Do you have your lyre? I want you to play me this song, if it means ‘spring will come again.’”

“It isn’t finished yet.”

“Sing it. You wanna take me home?”

“Yes.”

“Then sing the song.”

Hermes floated over, gently passing the lyre that seemed to appear out of nowhere to Crystal. He then led the two women outside, to where the lakes ahead were frozen over for miles. Furthermore; Crystal began to strum.

The song started off tame, with the mere plucking of three of the golden strings, but then Gigi began to feel a feeling of warmth when Crystal began to sing. There were no real words - just a melody of la la las - but soon enough, somehow, the fates began to join in. They all harmonized together in an almost hypnotic chorus, and Gigi felt faint when she saw the glowing sun appear from behind the clouds, the green grass appear from under the snow, and the trees begin to sway with the rhythm of the tune.

It was over too fast, and Gigi’s feeling of Euphoria was short-lived, but still, she felt blown away.

“How’d you do that?”

“I don’t know. The song’s not finished, though.”

“Even so, it can do this,” she breathed, experiencing a feeling of floating as she pointed at the small snowdrop buds appearing through the damp grass. “You have to finish it.”

“Well,” Hermes grinned, “I’ll leave you to it,” and with that he glided away, leaving the songbird and lone wolf alone, in the middle of nowhere, outside a run-down bar.

Gigi bit her lip and reached forward, connecting her leather fingerless gloved hand to the shorter girl’s. Crystal looked up at her with desperation and promise in her eyes, intertwining their fingers and holding her close.

The brunette scrunched up her nose, presenting one of the cutest faces Gigi had ever witnessed, before speaking, “So…” her gaze moved to Gigi’s full lips, which the blonde had just dampened with her tongue, “Can I take you home now?”

“Shut up,” Gigi rushed out, grabbing Crystal by the tatty collars of her white button-up, pulling her closed and pressing their lips together. They both knew what was going to happen moments before it did. And to Crystal, those few moments of tension and anticipation were an eternity.

Gigi never wanted the beauty of the kiss to end, so she closed her eyes and let her vision fall into darkness. It wasn’t the terrifying kind that she experienced day-by-day - it was comforting. Their lips moved together gently, a tentative dance to them. Gigi’s hands became tangled in Crystal’s mullet as she immersed herself deeper into the kiss. Crystal’s hands ducked under the blonde’s jacket, feeling the soft cotton of her vest below. Her hands moved upward, towards her breast, and smirked against her lips at the lack of bra. Their tongues began to dance together slowly, like a waltz, and Crystal melted into it.

Unfortunately for them both, it simply couldn’t last forever. They pulled away after five minutes of electronic touching, and Crystal was lost for breath.

“Will you come home with me?” she asked for the last time that night.

“Of course,” Gigi simpered.

“And will you marry me?”

“Depends how good you make me feel tonight.”

And oh boy, she made her feel infinite.

…

After weeks of planning and falling in love with one another, the day of their wedding finally came. The day was bright and clear, and both girls dressed up in white lace gowns that their local seamstress had begun working on the day their marriage was announced.

Crystal was rubbing red berries on her lips to tint them when Gigi walked in, hands clasped behind her back as if she were holding something. The brunette looked at her wife-to-be through the mirror with curiosity.

“What is that?” she asked, excitement bubbling up inside her. The wedding nerves left her feeling like she was tipsy from alcohol, despite not having drunk anything yet.

“Persephone gifted it to me to give to you…” Gigi smiled, tugging on her lower lip. She showed Crystal what was in her hands, and the brunette gasped instantly.

It was a delicately woven flower crown with many different colors and meanings. Crystal had never seen such beauty, and now it was hers. She didn’t want to touch it in case she broke it, but Gigi still approached her from behind and carefully placed it over her head. The brunette admired the variety of flowers in the crown; white camellias, red chrysanthemums, pink gloxinias, calla lilies, red poppies, and orchids.

“It’s so beautiful,” she sighed, inhaling the many scents of the beautiful flowers.

“It suits you,” Gigi grinned, gently squeezing her shoulders, “My future wife.”

“Tell me what they all mean.”

“Alright.”

Gigi softly twirled a few of Crystal’s curls around her finger as she explained the symbolism behind each flower.

“The white camellias mean ‘you’re adorable,’ which is quite self-explanatory, the red chrysanthemums mean I love you, because I do. You are the only person I have ever loved and I- well I didn’t think I could feel such strong affection for someone but, for once, I have been proven wrong. The gloxinias mean love at first sight, because I believe that’s what I experienced. When you first spoke to me… I had this overwhelming sensation that I had never felt before, and I think that was Aphrodite telling me that this was love. The calla lilies mean beauty, because that’s what you possess, and the red poppies mean pleasure.”

Crystal blushed and bit her lip, trying to contain a laugh, as well as a tear.

“And orchids are the full package. They mean love, beauty, refinement, beautiful lady, and they’re a Chinese symbol for fertility, because someday, I want to start a family with you.”

The brunette leaned her head back - though still wary of the precious crown on her head - and sniffled, “I love you.”

Gigi wrapped her arms around her lover’s neck, pecking a gentle, barely-there kiss on the back of her head, “I know you do baby. Now, let me go put a ring on your finger.”

They walked hand in hand outside, into the grassy meadow filled with townspeople there to celebrate the two lovebirds. A choir of muses sang as they walked down the aisle, petals being thrown at them by the children of their neighbors. The weather was just right that day, the grass was green and damp beneath their bare feet, and the sky was blue - much like Gigi’s blue eyes.

They exchanged vows, as any couple would, and Hymanios, the god of marriage, blessed the day.

“You may kiss the bride,” he said joyfully, and the two girls squealed in excitement as they pulled one another in, whispering ‘I love yous’ as well as other sweet nothings against one another’s lips, inaudible to their audience.

The two of them had been lonesome for so long to the point that they didn’t even know they were lonely, but when they took each other in their arms, suddenly there was sunlight all around them. The world seemed so bright and warm, and it shone like it never did before. And - just for a moment - they forgot how dark and cold it could get.

“Say that you’ll hold me forever, and the wind won’t change on us,” Crystal mumbled against her wife’s lips, “Say it will always be like this.”

A tear made its way down the taller woman’s cheek, as she raised her slender hand to cup the softness of Crystal’s cheekbone, “I’m gonna hold you forever, and the wind will never change on us. As long as we stay with each other, then it will always be like this.”

Not long after, the newlyweds presented their great feast to fill the bellies of the starving townspeople. Ambrosia, the god of food and drink blessed them with it, allowing them to eat and have peace - something which they didn’t get to experience often.

They feasted, they sang, they told stories and filled their surroundings with laughter and gaiety, until the sky grew dark, and the townspeople dispersed. They left Gigi and Crystal alone, sitting together at the large table, starry-eyed. They remained like that for an hour, Crystal braiding her wife’s hair and peppering kisses along her neck until it began to get chilly, and they knew it was time to go.

To reach home, the couple would have to take a route through a small woodland forest at the corner of town. They held hands as they walked, and Gigi was fascinated with each animal she saw pass through the bushes. Crystal had to physically hold her back from rushing over to pet a small frog.

“Come on baby, let’s get ho-” the brunette couldn’t finish her sentence, because suddenly a figure jumped out at her from the bushes, making an attempt to leap at her and tackle her to the ground.

In a swift move, Crystal grabbed Gigi’s hand and they shot off, headlong, through the overgrown forest. They didn’t know whether or not they were being chased, and they were too filled with adrenaline to check.

What they didn’t know was that it was a man that jumped from the bushes, and said man had been waiting there for hours, waiting for Crystal to pass so he could go in for the kill. The man was a shepherd called Aristaeus, and ever since the marriage of Crystal and Gigi was announced, he had been plotting to conquer the latter. Much like other men, he desired the nymph for his own, and had planned to annihilate Crystal if it meant he could reach her.

What they also didn’t know was that he was chasing them, and the chase was lasting a very long time. Thunder clouds roared above them and it was a race against time to see if they would survive or either be killed by Aristaeus or the coming storm.

On and on they ran together, until suddenly, Gigi fell to the ground. Assuming she had merely tripped on a small branch, Crystal reached down to assist her up, but Gigi’s hand slipped from her grasp. The brunette couldn’t quite comprehend what happened, but she did know that the shepherd was thankfully nowhere in sight.

Her heart sank when she noticed the deathly pallor in her wife’s cheek. The blonde had always been pale, but the usual rosy tint on her cheeks and lips had completely disappeared. Crystal stopped short in dismay when she stepped back, scanned their surroundings, and saw a nest of snakes right where they had just stepped. Gigi must’ve stepped in it. That was when Crystal noticed a red mark by her lover’s ankle, as well as a gradual swelling around it.

It turned out that Aristaeus had witnessed the accident occur, and fled straight after. There was no hope in his daydream relationship with Gigi, knowing that nobody survived the bite of a deadly viper.

…

Crystal felt like she had lost her entire world. Gigi was dead. Her wife was gone and they had barely even had the chance to celebrate their new union. Just when she thought things would be peaceful for once. Her life without Gigi seemed endless, and she lost all the passion that made her shine before.

The girl was crying onto her hardwood floor when Hermes appeared, looking disgustingly smug.

“Mr Hermes…” she sniffled, wiping her tears onto her sleeves. She couldn’t let a God see her like this.

“Shouldn’t you be working on your masterpiece?” he inquired, gesturing to the girl’s lyre that now hung on the wall meaninglessly.

“She’s gone… but where is she? I didn’t even get to say goodbye,” she sobbed, trying to refrain from punching a hole in the ground.

“She called your name before she went but I guess you weren’t listening,” he scoffed before his voice turned serious, “And what if I said she’s down below.”

“Down below?”

“Down below, you know… six feet under the ground below.”

“No-”

“-So, just how far would you go for her?”

Crystal’s eyes widened and she wiped her tears, standing up and straightening her back, “To the end of time… to the end of the earth.”

“You got a ticket?”

“A ticket to where?”

Hermes snorted and rested his hands on his hips, “Why, to the underworld of course.”

“No I- I don’t have a ticket,” she stuttered, nervous with the prospect that she could get her wife back.

“Yeah, I didn’t think so. Although, there is another way, but I really ain’t supposed to say.”

“Another way?”

“Y’know, around the back - but that ain’t easy walking, mortal. It ain’t for the sensitive of souls. Are you sure you really want to go?”

Crystal felt the tears coming back on, placing a hand over her chest, “With all my heart.”

“With all your heart? Well… that’s a start. To get to the underworld, you have to take a long way down - through the underground, under cover of night. You must lay down low and keep yourself out of sight. There’s no compass, darling, nor is there a map. All there is is a railroad track. You have to keep on walking and definitely do not look back until you get to the bottomland.”

She knew what to do now. She snatched her lyre from the wall and began her journey to the underworld. The route had walls of iron and concrete, and there were hound dogs howling around the gate. If she had brought a bone of bread, they would lay down and leave her be, but all she had was her own two legs - still. she was sure glad she had them.

As she walked, she played her lyre. The air was thick and humid - hard to breathe - yet there was still a chill running through her spine. Her legs were tired, but she showed no sign of stopping. Suddenly, she was hindered by the fates.

“Who are you to think that you can walk a road alone that no one has ever walked before,” one of them hissed, but Crystal quickly silenced them, continuing to play her lyre and play her melody.

After hours upon hours of walking, she began to see people. They were working - almost like they were mining. Hermes had told her that she mustn’t give anyone her name, for, in the underworld, nobody had one. She couldn’t look anybody in the eye, or else she’d be sent back home.

That was when she saw it. She saw two thrones in front of her, one with a majestic looking man sat in it, looking extremely bored. It was Hades, God of the underworld, guarding the gates from people like Crystal. The other sat an ethereal beauty - one of which Crystal had only ever seen in paintings - Miss. Persephone.

“Hello. My name is Crystal and I demand to be given entry. My wife’s life has been undeservingly stolen from me, and she was dragged down here even though she had so much more of her life to live. She died the day of our wedding day,” the brunette knew she mustn’t cry in front of the all-powerful Hades and Persephone so, for once, she managed to hold it in. “Hades, my great God - you for one should know the feeling of loneliness that is felt when your lover is away from you. So, I beg you to listen to me. Allow me to play you my song.”

Persephone looked compassionate, and Hades looked emotionless - until Crystal began playing. She started by humming and gently plucking the three strings until she built it up and playing it loud, bringing beams of light to the cave-like room. The hurt in her voice was so prominent, even the coldest of hearts couldn’t remain untouched.

Suddenly, Hades began to weep. Persephone looked shocked, for her husband had never cried before, but she placed her hand on his back while her own heart melted at the tune. Cerberus, the enormous three-headed hound that guarded the gate to the underworld, covered his ears with his paws and howled in despair.

After long, Crystal came to a stop, and Hades wiped his tears with a small handkerchief, having to compose himself before speaking.

“Your song is very beautiful, I must say. It is nothing I have ever heard before,” he stated, his voice deep and booming, “And so, for that reason, I will give you a proposition. I promise to you that, if you retrace your steps, Gigi will follow. Though, I do warn you: If you look back to ensure she is there while you are still in the light, she will be dragged back to my underworld. Are you willing?”

“Yes,” Crystal gasped, “I’m willing to do anything for my lover… Thank you, Hades. Thank you so much. I will be so grateful to you for the rest of eternity.”

“Run along then, pretty girl,” he sounded, and she immediately complied.

As the young girl disappeared into the distance, Persephone turned to her husband.

“Do you think they’ll make it?” she asked, concern in her voice.

“I don’t know.”

“Hades, you let her go…”

The God sighed, tapping his fingers on the arm of his throne, “I let her try.”

…

Crystal was walking and she just couldn’t hear Gigi, but she knew she was there. If she listened close enough, she would be able to hear Gigi sing along to the song the brunette strummed on her lyre.

“I’m coming, wait for me… We are not alone - I hear the rocks and stones echoing our song…” the blonde cried, desperate for her wife to know she was there, and that if she kept walking without looking behind, they’d be able to spend an eternity together. “Crystal… I’m coming.”

The brunette kept playing her tune, despite the immense shiver that filled her body and the murderous gaze the fates kept on her as she walked. Doubt began to roll in, and she questioned Hades’ honesty. There was no way Gigi was near if she was so cold, because Gigi brought warmth to every place she went. She muttered affirmations to herself, but they were futile. She was filled with so much uncertainty. If the ringing of her words in her mind wasn’t so loud, she would’ve heard her wife’s words of encouragement.

“Crystal, my love. You’re shivering. Is it with cold or fear? Please… keep singing,” her voice was filled with hope, and for once she was the positive one, “Remember; the coldest night comes right before the spring.”

Crystal kept walking, her tanned fingers whitening with the frost as she continued to strum her lyre. She kept mumbling ‘where are you’ over and over, as if she were going mad. Who was she to believe that Hades wouldn’t deceive her just to make her leave alone? Where was Gigi?

The light in the distance suddenly became clear. She was so close, and the hope began to consume her again. Still, there was no sound - no branch snapping beneath her wife’s feet - but once more, she felt her presence.

Gigi began to see the light in front of her too, as her wife walked mere meters away from stepping into it. The blonde walked five meters behind.

“You are not alone,” the blonde whispered, wanting nothing more to run towards Crystal and embrace her, “I’m right behind you and I have been all along.”

Finally, after hours of walking in the darkness and the cold, Crystal stepped into the light and finally, she turned around.

There was a gasp.

“It’s you-” Crystal sniffled, her chest rising and falling at the sight of her beautiful wife. She was covered in coal from mining down below, and she looked frailer than before. Although, she was still so mind-bendingly gorgeous.

Gigi wanted to smile and embrace her wife, but there was one issue.

Because Crystal was a few steps in front, she entered the light before Gigi did, but Hades’ proposition stated that Gigi must be in the light before she could turn.

Gigi was still in the dark. She was yet to see the sun.

So, before Crystal could lunge forward and wrap her arms around the love of her life, she disappeared in front of her eyes, being dragged back to the underworld.

“GIGI-” Crystal shrieked, attempting to run back into the darkness, chasing after her wife. But, as the rules of underworld stated: No person may enter the realm of Hades twice while still alive.

Hermes guarded her entry after being sent by Zeus, informing her of the rule.

“But Mr Hermes… You’ve seen how in love we are… You know us… You- You-” she sobbed, falling to her knees and shaking.

“Rules are rules, mortal.”

…

For the rest of her life, the musician was left disoriented and heart-broken. She turned away the touch of any man and any woman, forever mourning her misfortune. It reached a point where she couldn’t bear to look at another woman without being reminded of the pain of the past.

No longer were her songs joyful - they were sorrowful and melancholy, and they brought misery to whoever heard them. The only comfort she found when she laid herself down on a large rock, reveling in the caress of the breeze.

One day, a group of women who were angered with Crystal’s ignoration for them, attacked her. Crystal had become so empty and motivationless that she put up no fight. They killed her in cold blood, before throwing her and her lyre into a great river. Her head and lyre floated downriver, towards the island of Lesvos, where a group of Muses found her and gave her the official burial she deserved.

It is said that her grave emanates quiet, beautiful music because now, her soul had descended down to the underworld, where she could spend the rest of eternity with Gigi.

[newtshairdryer]

Thoughts on Descendants 3 as I watch it for the 8th time and pause to look at everybody all the time

- When Ben and Mal are walking out before the proposal, Audrey is slow clapping and it’s hilarious

-Chad seems genuinely happy to see them together but Audrey rains on his parade

-Please look at Chad’s face to the side after Ben gets on his knee his overdramatic gaping mouth is SENDING ME

-Why do they make Belle and the Beast kiss beside each other’s cheeks like a french greeting? For real though they’re Belle and the Beast...they should be kissing in celebration .-.

-Right after the Carlos/Beast chest bump there’s an extra in the background of Bal just having a blast popping bubbles

-Speaking of the bubbles I have no clue where they’re coming from

- Dude in the background when Audrey says ”What is wrong with you people?” bein shady AF to her

-That one girl in the wheelchair that has been in every single movie needs a name cause we all just refer to her as that one girl in the wheelchair lol

-Mal has her own purple fucking limo and she’s not even royalty yet

-Their money is so vibrantly coloured

-Those cards Celia fan out are definitely, well, a fan. They’re all attached- she’s not even holding onto some of them lol

-Mal resting her chin on Ben’s shoulder to watch him and Celia in the limo. soft

-The scenes in the limo make Ben look really big and awkward because they’re all shoved into a small space and he’s in the middle where the smallest person usually goes...but he’s the biggest person XD

-The barrier takes forever to close and there are a ton of people right there, why has no one attempted to just jump through it yet lol

-What if Hades put his hand through the barrier and it just like...cut it off LMFAO now THAT would have been entertaining 

-Hades literally makes himself roll one more time as he’s pushed back. Like there’s no more momentum and you can see he should stop but he makes himself do another somersault and it’s so obvious lol

-I know it’s been said before but the lack of security in the museum is just lazy AF writing. They didn’t even try to make it realistic it’s way too easy to just waltz in and take anything. Apparently the wand is the only thing worthy of an alarm

-Also why is there not even glass around the scepter to even attempt to discourage people from taking it? Even when the museum is OPEN someone could yank it out and start spelling shit up.

-Ben’s phone rings and he hangs it up less than a second after he picked it up- it doesn’t even show him barely looking at it. How on earth did he have time to see a message about the stolen items- let alone the fact it was a phone call ring...not a text ping

- OK WAIT IF UMA IS ON THE LOOSE AND HE TALKED ABOUT BETTER SECURITY SERIOUSLY WHY ON EARTH IS THE MUSEUM SECURITY SO NON EXISTENT??? IN BOTH THE FIRST MOVIE AND THIS ONE THEIR LACK OF SECURITY IS SUCH A GLARINGLY OBVIOUS THING WHY IS IT NON EXISTENT IT MAKES NO SENSE

-Why are the former King and Queen of Auradon and the current reigning King turning to the not yet Queen for all the advice about evil like it’s her responsibility. They don’t even attempt to brainstorm the vast amount of other ideas. And why on earth can’t she just suggest uh...literal guards by the barrier when it opens for them? Like if they paid people on the isle to guard the barrier so other isle people didn’t try to get out it would help a ton. There are so many other solutions other than closing the barrier completely (and then getting rid of it completely??)

-Does anyone else notice that like...50% of Ben’s screen time is him staring in shock/disbelief at things with literally no other expression for entire scenes? Cause I noticed it the first time around

-My favourite outfit in this whole movie for Mal is this light purple dress she has on when talking about closing the barrier for the first time with Ben’s parents and Evie. She is SO GORGEOUS in it. I’m actually not a fan of the leather suit she wears for the rest of the movie cause I don’t feel it fits with her hairstyle- mainly once it starts to go blue

-I just realized Mal’s hair literally goes from pretty much just purple to lots of blue mixed in. I guess it’s cool cause it’s like she gets power from the ember but I honestly prefer her brighter purple hair. My favourite hairstyle was her bangs she looked like an actual goddess in the 2nd movie

-I think everyone was thinking Dude got into Jane’s cake (despite the very neatly cut corner)

-I honestly love Mal’s face when Audrey shows up with the crown and scepter and her whole new gettup like “What on earth is this chick doing”

-I reiterate “what on earth is this chick doing” as Audrey goes to...sniff? the scepter?

-I wAnT tO bE dAnGeRoUS

-Audrey through a cupcake on the ground. So evil

-Honestly I’m sorry but Audrey talking all angsty to the people at Jane’s party is really cringey. Her lines are just...hhhhhhhhh (you mindless little drones in particular just seems weird the way she says it)

-How on earth does Audrey not see Jane get in the lake...she’s literally right there in full view

-OK so not ALL magic doesn’t work on the Isle, according to Celia only evil magic doesn’t work- so yes Maleficent is still a lizard cause Mal’s spell wasn’t an evil one

-Even with her massive platform shoes Mal is so much shorter than Hades she is yelling at him but having to look way up she’s adorable

- Hades “LET’S DANCE” - proceeds to shake a tambourine, slap his butt with it and stick his tongue out. ok then

-Why did I never notice Mal shake the tambourine at him angrily and then throw it lmao

-WHERE IS THE WIND COMING FROM IN THIS SONG (I will touch back on random wind that shouldn’t be there later on too)

-Mal should say thank you for the ember...imo

-”If it gets wet it’s game over” thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat’s what she said

-Mal’s walking away from Haes up those stairs? That booty thicc (only thing I really like about that outfit) 

-Girl has a zipper down her butt. She can unzip her ass cheeks

-I’m glad the jewelry in this movie is no longer plastic like Ben’s ring and his burger king crown

-“You’ll what? Marry them?” OK I am not a big fan of the plot or Audrey’s temper tantrum but  if that isn’t the best fucking burn in this whole franchise then idk what is

-gUYS CELIA IS NOT THE ACTRESS SHE IS SUPPOSE TO BE IN AN ENTIRE MAIN SHOT??? WTF? HOW HAS NO ONE POINTED THIS OUT?? SHE’S A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON WHEN THEY’RE WALKING OUT OF THE GATE TOWARDS THE BARRIER ON THE ISLE AND THEN THE NEXT SHOT IT’S BACK TO THE PROPER ACTRESS. BUT IT’S VERY OBVIOUS

-I AM GAY AS SHIT FOR UMA OK SHE IS ABSOLUTE PEAK AESTHETIC AND I WOULD LET HER CHOKE ME WITH HER BRAIDS 

-I deserve some compensation for my muscles...what does that even mean???

-Are we suppose to know who Hannah is?

-”Says you and that’s suppose to mean someth’n to me?” Ok maybe I’m just a flaming bisexual for Uma but why was that line delivery so smooth

-Audrey is abusing Chad. She threw a glass bowl at him and is literally shoving him around and yelling at him while accusing him of knowing things and not telling her. And it’s played for laughs. Descendants you have a lot of good things that are socially woke but this ain’t it man. Chad may have been a douche but he doesn’t deserve abuse. (rhyme oof)

- Why is Dude advertising that he gives great cuddles? Who is that directed at? Why is that line in there? Alright then

-How is Uma the only one that noticed the massive scratches on the wall and the literal painting slashed in half

-Mkay we get it Audrey you’re evil thanks for the random laugh

-The knight in front of them literally clanged as it moved and it’s RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM how did nobody but Harry see it move. This entire movie is me asking why something happened because honestly so much of it just doesn’t make sense but I still love the movie lmao

-Out numbered 1 to 50? How did this girl graduate lol

-I still say What The Fuck Is Happening every time Mal makes the Knights dance. It’s just the most random, out of the blue thing to do

-Mal literally licks her lip and gives Evie the most sultry look as Evie dips down and is singing the end of Night Falls. I’m not a Mevie shipper but it’s the most bedroom eyes I’ve ever seen

-Evie is an absolute ray of sunshine and deserves all the things

-Harry is genuinely flattered at Evie’s compliment about his accent he starts to smile. Dude acts like a complete player and then gets happy when someone gives him a genuine compliment lol

-Jay and Gil are adorable

-Gil is just adorable on his own

-Doug is in way too comfortable of a position to not have already been on the ground sleeping/resting. Which begs the question of why he was just on the ground sleeping like that

-Doug’s long hair and ponytail and complete lack of style are some of my biggest pet peeves in this movie. He doesn’t just look out of place next to Evie, but next to literally everyone else. He looked pretty good in the last two, why such a drastic change that literally nobody asked for or wanted lol

-I seriously can’t take Evie and Doug seriously in this movie just because of his hair. It’s just so unattractive I’m sorry not sorry

- I do enjoy the sense of urgency and time that the movie has as Mal tries to keep moving. Uma and her being like “just kiss him already” is fun

-They could have shot Audrey looking at them through the scepter in a different way...the way it’s just the same close up shot every time she’s looking at it with her hair blowing in the non-existent wind just adds to how cheesy her whole performance is (not her fault, director and writers fault)

-Mal should have kissed Ben when they reunited. 0 reason not to. She was super worried about him and finally reunited with him and she also LOOKED like she wanted to kiss him. Girl was super into that beard. 

-Leave some room for Jesus lmao 

-I’m just bitter cause the only kiss we get this whole movie is from kinda far away and is short. We’ve also never seen them share a sweet kiss in private- they’re always on display....maybe it’s a kink lol

-Ben and Mal holding hands while trying to sneak around <3

-Sophia’s acting when Evie is upset is on point. This whole scene is one of the only really good ones where everyone is rightfully upset with Mal. 

-Mal has had to sing about her feelings in every movie lmao

-Why...does the dragon look like it has a low frame rate? It looks choppy

-Audrey just, once again, doesn’t look menacing. She’s just like...waving a stick around and making mean faces

-”I owe you an apology” says everyone but...no one actually says “I’m sorry” lol

- Ben is just “aw yiss speak human rights to me baby” at Mal during the engagement party

- Beast: “We can’t do that.” I AGREE

-Taking the barrier down with no screening for the villains is a bad bad bad bad idea but it’s a happy disney universe so everything is fine - ugh

-UNSAFE BRIDGE!!1!!1 I’m waiting for someone to fall off- just once, please

-Mal and Uma jumping up and down when they kmeetis the cutest fucking thing on earth

-Ben needs a different thing to dance in, his suit is so stiff

-Harry and Audrey? Hmmmm I’m not opposed but I’m also not feelin it

-Were those people just...waiting there with an already built dragon?

-Ben likes to hip thrust in every movie, no lie

[lovelyirony]

The Greek Gods AU Literally Everyone Wanted

@ifdragonscouldtalk thanks for letting me write the greek god au this was literally the best thing that happened to me all day i love it. (Tony=Persephone, Bucky=Hades, Sam=Poseidon, Steve=Zeus, Rhodey=Demeter, Pepper=Athena, Natasha=Hecate, Clint=Hermes. Thor is Thor, you can’t change crap like that. He’s too godly.) 

Bucky was in hell. On most days, that was a good thing. It meant things were running smoothly, souls weren’t arguing over whether or not they should be placed in a different section, and Thor sometimes talked about how he did a better job than Thor’s screwed-up niece Hela. (She was weird, Bucky tried to talk to her and she started talking about the End. Lmao, Bucky’s not messing with that.) 

But today? Hell was in a totally different context. First off, there’s this soul named Sitwell who keeps bitching about the hellish part of hell, and how he should be in the Field Of Elysium. Bucky has to explain that since Sitwell is such a terrible person, he doesn’t get to go there. 

The dog won’t settle down. Cerberus, as Bucky named him, was whining. Probably because Sam gave him smoked meat treats, and Bucky hates the fact that Sam can make his dog like him more than Bucky. (Bucky hates Sam, mainly because he tried to flood the Underworld, and that can’t be done, but no, Steve said that Sam was “just joking.” Just joking, Bucky’s ass.)  

And finally, he has a dude just...covered in flowers wandering around talking with the dog. He pinches the bridge of his nose, and walks over. People aren’t supposed to get out of their death sentence, but some, on occasion, do. 

“Hello Dum-E,” the man coos, scratching the dog under the chin. Bucky stops, noting that the man seemed to have named the dog. 

“Did you...name Cerberus?” Bucky asks awkwardly. The man whips around, and...holy hell. Bucky is gonna be in trouble. The guy is covered in flowers, some making a small wreath around his head. His sandals are the color of grass on a cool summer’s day, and his chiton seemed to be stained with the color of small flower petals. Bucky knows who he is. 

Tony. 

Or, as the Greeks like to refer to him, Persephone. 

“If you named him ‘Spot’ so help me gods,” Tony says. “That head is Dum-E, that one is U, and the last one is Butterfingers. She dropped her treat after I handed it to her. I love them.” Bucky just stands awkwardly. 

“Um, okay? What are you doing down here?” Tony blinks, before scratching Cerberus--U--behind his gigantic ears. 

“I heard the barking! Also, I noticed that there is a severe lack of flowers in your home, and i understand aesthetic purposes, but you have no skulls for the arts. Natasha would be disappointed.” 

“You...you know Natasha?” Bucky chokes. If he knows Natasha, then that means that he’s in potential danger. She likes her friends, especially the soft one. (Given that Clint, (hermes to the mortals) usually trips on his face and took a wrong turn into Germany, she likes him a lot.) 

“I think I’m going to like it here,” Tony decides. “But you need more flowers.” Bucky is helpless as Tony starts decorating and talking to Bucky about something other than death and destruction and chaos. He’s talking about the new strand of Hyacinth that was just in today. 

Over time, Bucky actually looks forward to the talks that he and Tony have. Bucky learns how to plant herbs so that his throne room doesn’t smell like total death, and learns all about Tony’s friends. 

What Bucky doesn’t know is that Rhodey and Pepper, Tony’s absolute best friends, are looking for him. And they are tearing up the earth, searching high and low for him. 

“He was picking flowers for Bruce’s party,” Pepper grumbles. “Because he had that new cup decoration to try out.” 

“I thought it was because of his new threshing tool for me,” Rhdoey said. “Look, Athena, could you maybe get in an appointment with Zeus? Everyone knows he trusts you best.” 

“If you call me Athena again, I’m suing?” 

“Do we even know what that concept is yet?” 

“Not sure, humanity is unclear. We’re going up and seeing Steve, though,” Pepper says, grim determination all over her face. “Come on, Rhodes.”  

Steve, naturally, is terrified of the force that is Pepper and Rhodey. Rhodey on his own is fearsome, but combined with Pepper? Oh dear gods, that is the day that Steve hides. 

So, they send Clint. It’s a disaster, but no one else will voluntarily go down and see Bucky calmly besides Sam, but Sam always tries to convince Bucky that Steve likes him more. (It’s a travesty.) 

Clint walks in like he’s walking through Natasha’s closet looking for the purple toga that brings out her magic. 

“Hi Tony!” He says cheerfully. “Pepper and Rhodey made earth suck because they couldn’t find you or get to you!” Tony blinks, another geranium poking out of an eye socket. 

“Really?” 

“Yeah,” Clint says. “I can’t go anywhere without putting on, like, six overcoats. Also, all the flowers died.” 

“...I wanna stay here, Rhodey knows how to make flowers,” Tony says stubbornly. “Bucky has, like, no flowers.” Bucky gapes. 

“It sounds like your Pepper and Rhodey have made a mini hell.” Clint, by this point, has grown bored, and already flown up to tell Pepper and Rhodey the news. They do not accept. 

“Tony, flowers and stuff is your job,” Rhodey explains. Tony wavers. 

“Bucky has portals!” Pepper and Rhodey are still on the fence. 

“Tony,” Pepper warns. “You know how scatter-brained you are. You forgot to give Athens asphodel flowers for three weeks.” Tony pouts. 

“Well, I’m gonna marry him,” Tony says decisively. Bucky chokes. 

“When the hell did you decide that?” 

“Two seconds ago,” Tony says. 

By this point, Natasha, Steve, and Sam are all in, but Steve only heard the word ‘marry.’ 

“You’re married him?!” Steve asks, shock written all over his face. 

Look: Tony doesn’t make the best decisions. He wasn’t the one who caused the Trojan War, despite what Pepper said. (She was jealous, alright?) So when he heard Steve, he thought that he was going to ban Tony from being in the Underworld and having some good times with Bucky. 

So he shoves a whole pomegranate in his mouth. It tastes bitter, but also sweet, because he’s been working hard on them. Even if Bucky wouldn’t let him taste them. 

“TonY NO!” Comes the collective shriek. 

“Tonee yesh,” Tony replies, red gushing down his mouth in dribbles. He practically gargles the pomegranate juice. 

“A-are you choking?” Bucky asks. “Babe, you okay?” Tony nods, spitting some of it out. “Sweetheart, I love you, but why? Why did you try and jam an entire pomegranate into your mouth?” 

“To stay with you!” Tony says. “I didn’t want Steve to take me away!” 

“No offense, but Steve is as harmless as a baby goose.” 

“Yeah, but he hisses like one,” Bucky says. “Nah, I’m god of the dead. Dead trumps sky.” Steve rolls his eyes. “So, you still need to do your job, spend some time on earth with Pepper and Rhodey. Are you okay with the system of portals?” 

“Yeah,” Tony says. “Sorry Pep, sorry sugarbun.” His friends, totally understanding what it was he was trying to do. “So, I’m thinking summer for the wedding. Everyone’s expecting spring, but it rains like a bitch during spring, and I like flowers in the summer.” Bucky just decides to do whatever the hell Tony says. 

The wedding is beautiful. They get Thor to preside over the ceremony. (He’s a different god, he makes weddings more important. Also? Thor is a fun guy.) Sam makes beautiful fountains, Steve makes sure the sun shines, and Rhodey is in charge of catering. Natasha and Pepper plan the whole thing, although Natasha also makes sure that the Underworld stays as is. 

Dum-E, U, and Butterfingers are all flower-dogs, and ring bearers. Butterfingers is wisely the flowergirl, as she would drop the rings. 

“I love you,” Tony says, pecking Bucky on the cheek as they dance. “But I’m decorating your throne room with flowers.” 

“Babe, I have to keep a reputation.” Tony snorts. 

“You married the goddess of springtime and flowers, don’t kid yourself.”