#that's really the straw that's breaking the camels back

[mr-miss-anonymous]

Chubformers drabble #29!

Character: Soundwave (G1)

Word count: 460

Both physically and metaphorically, Soundwave had reached his limits.

The telepath sighed as he rolled onto his back, his furious and overstuffed belly protesting every little movement. Tentative servos rested against the swell and slowly began to knead, his desperation far outweighing his desire to keep his composure. It wasn’t like he was hiding his pathetic state from anyone anytime soon, after all.

Indulgence simply wasn’t a word in Soundwave’s vocabulary, first and foremost. While he underwent near constant days of crippling stress responsibilities, Soundwave had learned that throwing himself into his work usually soothed the unpleasant side effects. Today, however, he just couldn’t shake his awful mood.

He hadn’t meant to get himself drunk on the stash of engex stored in his quarters. That day had been the straw that broke the camel’s back, so to speak, and despite Soundwave’s best efforts, what was supposed to have been a quick reprieve turned into a long-winded binge session spent drinking himself into temporary oblivion.

At the time, letting go had felt really, really good. He needed it after having kept his composure in check for so long. Primus, he was long overdue for a break from being the only responsible mech on their team. Megatron’s intentions were true, and the Decepticon cause was Soundwave’s life devotion, but it was absolutely exhausting sometimes. All inhibitions had been thrown out the window that night, though, and it felt great… until it didn’t.

Soundwave’s optics were shut tight behind his visor, the swirling of the room only helping to make the ache in his helm worse. He was definitely intoxicated, but there was something more to be said for the way his engex sat in his tanks like heavy stones. He felt massive, ready to burst. He’d never been this full before, not once in his life—which is probably why he felt as bad as he did now.

To preserve his peace of mind, Soundwave had banished the two twin cassettes early on. Ravage, he realized, had remained. Her presence was made known by the soft pressure of pedes gently stepping across Soundwave’s bloated belly before she settled in, her engines rumbling low in her frame. It felt nice, he thought. Soothing, in a way.

“Nhgk—“ Soundwave tried to speak, but his voice was a mess of muddled words and slurred sounds. Instead, he lifted a servo and gently pat her helm. His belly gave a grumble in response, angry tanks begrudgingly beginning to acknowledge the heavy weight of fuel that had been pumped inside them as they started to digest.

It wasn’t often that Soundwave’s self-control faltered, and it would be long before it happened again. Right now, though, he was left to suffer the consequences, and consequential they were.

[m0ther-of-p3arl]

WAIT FUCK OWEN LOST HIS HARDCORE WORLD??? fuck fuck fuck fuck no no no no no no no i have so many memories there oh shit oh shit thats not good

aw man that fucking sucks. bro got blown up by a creeper. im. wow. im just really sad now aw fuck :(

o7... and onto the next one ig

fuck im having emotions about this. thats so stupid lmao its a minecraft world and its not even mine but like. AUUUGHHHGHHHH...... fuckkkkkk........ gonna go do a little sniffle in the corner

[saints-who-never-existed]

Still thinking about Jopson after the other day and I feel like there's a wee bit similarity between he and David Young that I want to discuss and weep over more.

Young clearly had an incredibly difficult, poverty-stricken upbringing 'at the Foundlings' and it shows in the way that just keeps on trucking until he breaks down completely. Enduring all the hardships and misery of Victorian Britain had been ruining his health so much from the day he was born and had been doing it so insidiously that he didn't even think much of all the horrible symptoms of illness that had been inflicting him. They were simply par for the course. He'd been enduring them all his life.

And I think Jopson's deterioration very much echoes all of that. We know he's from a working class background and endured many hardships throughout his life also whether it be, again, the usual awful vagaries of the time period or the additional mental/emotional stress related to his mother.

Like Young, Jopson seems to just keep on trucking until he breaks down completely. One minute we see him help to lift a whole adult man into a whaleboat and then, seemingly in the blink of an eye, there he is in bed going downhill fast. It's not hard to imagine that his hard life would also have had him thinking little of the horrors his body was going through and being destroyed by.

It's not hard to imagine that he also had been enduring those kinds of things all his life...

[mediumsizedpidegon]

Imagine: you are Idril and you hate your cousin viscerally and this hate is later justified in every way possible. He is a monster and a traitor and as unlike your belovéd aunt as possible. And he dies, and he does not come to the Halls of Mandos and does not reembody. Perhaps you are horrible for thinking this: but you are glad. You are glad he is gone and unable to return. He was a nightmare who crawled into your stainless city and tore it down when it was least expected. He made your father love him, and then he betrayed him, and you will never forgive nor forget it. Now there is no way he can hurt you, your husband, your son, your people– and there is no one he can betray.

and then your aunt reembodies.

Your aunt reembodies and yes, she died for that monster, but she was blameless for she was forced to marry evil and birth evil and love evil. But now she's reborn without those cobwebs of enchantment and you are prepared for her grief and rage over having been controlled. She will not be the same. But she will be back, at long last.

Except. she comes back and none of these things happen.

She doesn't care that her son is evil and treacherous, more his father's son than hers. She doesn't care. She grieves for your city and in the next breath she wishes for her son's return. So you love your aunt and your aunt loves the creature of your nightmares– the betrayer that nearly killed your son and brought your home to ruin. So you love your aunt but she does not listen when you tell her to let her son go because she never saw–

and so your aunt leaves. and it feels like betrayal. like your cousin ruining your family further from beyond the grave.

she still visits, but no one in the family knows where she lives. She is strange– both the steely eyed aunt you remember and yet sometimes she looks like she has never seen you before. you try to break the enchantment that she must be under to keep looking for your Marred cousin, but there is nothing for you to find. all your trying does is send her into a rage the likes you have only seen once before: when she dragged your father away from following your mother in death for your sake.

you love your aunt, and most days, you are sure your aunt loves you.

but you cannot understand her, and in this you have lost her as surely as when she died.

[civilization-illstayrighthere]

oh the tumblr news is….. actually bumming me out real bad

[sounds-like-a-iterator-name]

some tma fear alternate names like I Do Not Know You and The Twisting Deceit sound like iterator names

"I Do Not Know You" and "The Twisting Deceit" from The Magnus Archives sound like Iterator names!

[animalcrossingshowdown]

every so often when a poll is close and I'm passionate about the results I reblog to main (you guys all do it only fair I get to hype up my faves too) and. I have been SO CLOSE to blocking people rebloging from my main with tags rooting against what I rebloged it for lmao

[kit-williams]

It's kind of weird that you say you want to write Dantioch/Pollux but only if one of them is a girl. Why does that make such a difference to you? 🤨

I probably shouldn't answer this but *shrugs*

I guess the TLDR: It just do be like that fam; if I write it you are free to simply not read it. (I know not all my stories are a hit)

Well I thought I kinda answered this but like I like characters? I like their dynamics? I'm also horribly straight (though demisexual) and I have tried to write same sex pairings before but frankly they don't interest me? I get bored writing them in honesty. I'm a cis woman and even if that doesn't matter... I kinda write what I enjoy and what I've experienced and I like hetro sex.

I've come to accept that this just simply do be how me brain works.

I don't know why it makes a difference to me and I don't really care to try and self psychoanalyze myself to be like but why; tried doing that with my enjoyment of incest fics and discovered its because I get very into deep emotional bonds between people however if I wasn't trying to deeply foster a community of people to have a place where they can enjoy being cuddled by space marines, demonic cod men, or being possessively cuddled by yandere space marines... my reblogs would look different.

But tangent aside... I like characters. I personally wrote genderbent fics of F!OptimusPrime and Megatron... F!Blurr and Shockwave (never put them out there but I enjoy those dynamics and I'm a sucker for enemies to lovers or the spoils of war dynamics)

But yeah thank you for asking?

[imma-lil-sunshy]

I've been forgetting like regular everyday words and stopping mid sentence a lot lately. ... googling if I should be concerned

[andi-o-geyser]

hitting the two hour mark of having important stuff i had to do this evening so i lost track of time and missed the first 35 mins of candela obscura so now i am confined to spoiler jail because i can’t go back in the stream so now i had to wait until monday. i am consoling myself by watching one piece with my brother. let me in i just want to watch this silly dnd people do eldritch horror pLEASE

[goldensunset]

ooh girl i am really tired of sharing a tight space with my parents!

[oha-yuu]

. (diasomnia ch7 spoilers in tags)

[checkyesifulikeme]

realized that literalllllyyyyyyyy nothing & i mean NOTHING will change in my life until i get sober. like nothing. i didn’t realize i could get even worse but i did because i lack discipline and am incredibly hedonistic Lol i just cannot be a cute one glass of wine girl or one drink at the club, once it’s in my system i’m drinking until i can’t see it’s BAD!! like girl stop kidding yourself.....i’ll never wake up in the morning and do yoga or read my book or take the dogs for a walk &on&on&on&on if i’m hungover (pretty much) every day now!!! and i cannot build routine this way, at all, which i’ve been craving for so long!!!! it is also difficult because i’m not so sure i’ll be able to maintain the majority of my friendships sans alcohol as sad as that sounds (it’s very sad) because i don’t have any super close friendships in my life anymore that aren’t based around getting drunk together for the most part. but it’s okay it’s all for the best but i’m sick of the constant promise breaking and living in a forever hazy fog i want to feel fresh and clear and alert it’s simply not worth it to me anymore like i’m so serious not a damn thing in my life can be accomplished until i put my foot down w/ myself. MORE LIFE...!

[impossible-rat-babies]

wish I had actual thoughts about how in from the cold sits in eyrie’s head other than just. bad

[lyriumsings]

thinking about octavia x seven 1.0 from when they first dated and i like to think the relationship while like passionate and full of like love it wasn’t as perfect as they may remember it. I think any relationship with super high highs probably has pretty low lows too.

Esp when it’s someone you’ve actually already known for a decade lol. I think there are certain things/behaviors that are fine with a friendship but don’t carry over to a partnership so i like to think while no one ever thought they would implode the way they did, i like to think it was always possible just because of the nature of their relationship which bordered on codependency fjdjdd.

I wanna get more into specifics but i have to wait until there’s more information but for what i have now on seven x mc (specifically for octavia) dynamic. i like to think seven was always just a little bit more in love than octavia was. While octavia would never have voted seven out of the band. They also never would’ve given up on their dream for seven, or left the band because they’re not that kind of person or friend. The idea of abandoning the rest of the band is really a place they would’ve put their foot down, because while they love seven (and even tho seven is incredibly important to them) and it honestly kind of disappoints her that seven would think that way.

aNYWAY that’s most of the thoughts i have rn i can’t wait to actually get all the information and see what all the after-vote party fight was about. i’m on the edge of my seat, legit this is all i think about rn DJSJ

[chasteblowjay]

I am at the gate and unfortunately the otc arthritis painkillers, 5mg of probably expired instant release adderall I found in my dresser, and adrenaline all wore off as soon as I sat down and it’s cramp city babey