#that's why it's only sort of because of odin. but also knowing odin he'd be like IT WAS *ME!!!!!!!!!!*

[honeydots]

I was just re-reading to Prune a Grapevine and I had a question, how did Laslow and Xander meet? Odin teased it a little bit, but did he set them up or did they meet by chance because Odin knew Leo?

hi anon ive been so excited to answer this. i quite genuinely almost wrote a fic about their meeting in this universe so read more time

so first of all, a note: odin accrediting himself to their relationship does not mean laslow does LOL i imagine laslow probably rolls his eyes intensely whenever odin says that (even if there's a mild amount of truth to it)

also to answer your questions, no and no--but the second one is closer haha.

so setting the scene! laslow's in his early 20's, he moved to nohr for his career. he has a job dancing with a company, and he was actually very lucky to have landed the position he got. he's sort of paranoid about losing it.

xander (or rather, at this time it's garon--anya corp--just remembered i named their company that LOL) is a sponsor of the theater they work in, and of the dance company in general. a perk of sponsorship is watching a dress rehearsal, and you can probably imagine how this leads to their meeting.

but! it's a little more than that. obviously the cast knows that they'll have a sponsor watching them that day, but they're also told by the director they need to be nice to this guy. he's giving us money and we want him to keep doing that. so laslow has slightly more incentive to talk to xander, strictly because he thinks if he can show they get along, he'll have more job security, LMAO

a little more background knowledge, here's why odin is relevant. odin and leo, yes, are already friends!! odin doesn't live in nohr yet, though. laslow doesn't know leo, but he does know that odin has a Very Rich Nohrian Pal named Leo Anya. but that's the extent of it, laslow doesn't even know what leo looks like.

back to the dress rehearsal! during the intermission, i imagine laslow's getting a drink or something, he does end up running into xander. and they make some really simple small talk, xander probably makes a comment that he noticed laslow as one of the background dancers (xander certainly already found laslow striking, but i fully believe xander flirts only by stating recognizable facts in an entirely non-flirtatious way djfkdfjs), but that's about it.

laslow, though, is desperate to make a chance for himself. he's like 22 and wants to keep his job. he has been thinking about, all this time, how he knows of a different nohrian anya who is very rich, and he's been wondering if they're related. and he thinks he can give it a shot asking, because it might prompt some more conversation anyway

SO laslow asks xander if he has a little brother named leo. clearly xander does, so he says yes, and laslow kind of frantically explains that he knows a friend of his. odin. who xander recognizes from when odin has visited. and then odin serves as a pretty genuine icebreaker between the two of them, and they chat until laslow has to go.

they don't start dating until later, though. usually what i imagine happening is xander comes and sees the show again when it's in actual production, and laslow says hi to him afterwards. and this stays a trend for a little bit, until xander asks him to dinner and laslow accepts--a little less worried about his job and a little more wanting to be wooed by the pretty man, haha. and then history!

part of the reason i didnt write this as a fic is because there's actually more stuff that happens after they get together, but i've been debating if i want to include it. and then there's possibly even more after that, but i haven't committed to it being in this universe or not. but i'd want that to be part of the fic too, but then lord above it would start getting long. largely, it goes into how the falling out with garon ended up happening. but the actual falling out would be after siegbert and soleil are not only born, but like, five or six years old. so. that'd be long.

but!!! that's how xander and laslow happened in the grapevine-verse :D thank you for asking this has been rattling around in my brain for like. ever. dfkdjsfkdj <3

[lokiinmediasideblog]

For the character ask game - What are headcanon(s) you have for Loki? (Comics or MCU, whichever you feel like)

Comics:

I have this weird HC that the yellow tassel Loki had was Sif's hair that he kept as some weird fucked up trophy to taunt her. It was definitely not his hair as his hair was black and often short. It was later drawn as yellow/golden strings rather than hair, so I probably made this shit up, but IDK I kinda like it? Seems like the sort of petty fucked up thing he'd do.

Loki is a Jotun half-breed. He just looks too different from the rest. The Doylist explanation is that they started making Jotuns bluer with time because they had regular skin tones and basically looked like overgrown Vulcans back in the day.

Loki's mouth being sewn shut is cannon in every comic run not just the ones where it's shown. I just like the angst of that myth so much.

My perception of Loki and Asgard is heavily influenced by Loki (2004) aka "Blood Brothers" where Loki is clearly a hostage/ward and everyone knows he is an adopted Jotun. So, I interpret a lot of the earlier "good Asgard, perfect Odin, perfect Thor, kind and virtuous W4" as being told by an unreliable narrator. I've mentioned before how annoyed I get by the most random and far-fetched suspicions of Loki being "proven true" by the narrative in the majority of Thor comics. Have you considered Loki's not the only one who can lie? Also, a lot of Loki's evil in earlier comics is so over-the-top and the narrative pretends there's no good reason for it. There's no way he wasn't ostracized, abused, or bullied.

Asgard has very good PR and basically chose an adopted Jotun hostage/ward to blame for everything wrong in the realm. They also like to pretend they've always been on the right side of issues and history. IDK I just get frustrated by the narrative quite often. They'll have the good guys manhandling Loki (kid!Loki too) for no good reason but "it's fine because he's evil/his past life was evil."

I ship Loki with every villain they've teamed up with.

MCU:

Frigga had lost her second child (Balder) around the time Loki was brought into Asgard. She resented Loki for a few years because "that thing got to live and Balder did not." Eventually she grew very attached to Loki, and due to guilt, she'd try to overcompensate for her rejection (of course not where it mattered because in my HCs she continued to lie even when it harmed Loki). Loki's not aware of this past having very severe attachment disorders and abandonment issues. Loki's first memories are about being rejected.

Loki had difficulty with any sort of Fire Magic due to being a Jotun but he kept practicing despite how much it harmed him because it was the only time Odin looked at him the way he did Thor. Frigga tried to stop him from doing this but of course, kept the truth from him. Loki interpreted this as her thinking him weak and doubting his magical capabilities. It put a strain in their relationship until Loki managed to conjure Fire with only minor burns. Frigga didn't make things any better, but continued to overcompensate in other ways because guilt.

Loki caused the Gatekeeper (let's call him Vili) that preceded Heimdall to lose his position after a noodle incident. Vili outed Loki to Odin which got him on Loki's shit list. It also caused Loki to learn to conceal them from the All-Sight.

Loki got into a lot of dangerous situations by concealing them-self from the All-Sight.

Either Odin permanently altered Loki's physical form and even the Casket of Ancient Winters can't undo all of it, or Loki is only partially Jotun. Again, he looks too different even when holding the Casket.

Sif and Loki were very close until Loki sabotaged their relationship by cutting her hair as a prank.

[kingofcards]

@reveromantique | Uncaged |

Quistis had spent the first month after saving the world panicking that Seifer hadn't made it out the other side. Then, she'd finally been told - as an off-hand comment - that Seifer was in D-District Prison. A place she herself was only in for a short amount of time and had fucking HATED. It was terrible, they didn't treat anyone in there like they were people. Quistis couldn't stand that. Sure most people in there were in fact criminals of the worst sort, and sure that currently included Seifer, but NO ONE deserved to be fucking treated the way people were treated in D-District!

She spent the next two months on a crusade to get him out. She made so many promises to so many people, mostly Squall, Cid, Commander Caraway, and the new Headmasters of Trabia and Galbadia Gardens. They all insisted that she wasn't allowed to take full responsibility for Seifer's well-being or any actions he takes when released to them. Which... was fair she supposed. She hadn't done such a great job the last time she supposedly had that responsibility.

They had finally all agreed, with so many restrictions on Seifer's existence it was very nearly as bad as being in D-District, to have him transferred to Balamb Garden. Ultimately because he was clearly still capable of doing the things he'd been trained for, and they had spent all that time and money training him.

It felt like a defeat honestly, that THAT was the reason they all went for, and not, y'know, treating him like the previously brainwashed teenager he was. Though, if she thought about it, SeeD training in and of itself was a form of brainwashing... And while using GFs would take away memories, it didn't rip parts of themselves out of them when the GF was unjunctioned. And the memories returned eventually if you laid off their use, or someone pointedly brought up "Hey, we used to do this, don't you remember?" and sometimes the memory would surface, or you'd get a GF feeling guilty in the back of your mind.

The point was Seifer had become a Sorceress' Knight, he had had Ultimecia connected to him in a way that honestly, only Squall at this point could possibly understand - and that weasel Odine wanted to research. Quistis was convinced that he needed to be treated like a person again, even a pain-in-the-ass one, before he could start actually recovering from whatever trauma them killing Ultimecia had done to him. Not that she knew anything HAD been damaged in him due to that... but no one knew it hadn't either.

She knew no one had bothered to ask him - now that Ultimecia was gone - why he'd joined her, if he was even all there when he'd fought them by Ultimecia's side, if he remembered what had happened. She had so many questions, but being allowed to talk to him was step fucking one.

It also managed to be the last step she actually got to do. She didn't get to speak with Seifer at all until she went to D-District with the paperwork to release him into Balamb Garden's care.

She rolled her eyes and sighed at his words. He looks like a scraggly sex god, even obviously in need of bathing, and still manages to be an asshole. "You know, I spent all this time trying to convince people you aren't a monster and deserve better than being locked up here, and this is what you say to me? I knew it was remiss of any of them to think being here would make you less of a jerk."

She gestured at the guards in the room, "Well, release him. Or give me what I need to do so and scatter if you're so damn afraid of him."

Quistis would never be afraid of Seifer, even when they were fighting him, she'd been more afraid FOR him than OF him. She wasn't sure what it was that always had her tangled up where he was concerned, but she chalked it up to growing up with him and her wanting to protect everyone.

"You get to come back to Balamb Garden Seifer. You'll basically be under house arrest, no I won't be your officer, not sure who Squall will give that duty, but I'm not allowed." If she sounded bitter, well, she was. "You'll have severe restrictions, but your own room and basic amenities back. Unless of course, you'd rather stay here?"

She gave the area and uncomfortable guards a pointed look before leveling her gaze back on Seifer.

@kingofcards

He languishes in D-District for weeks after Balamb Garden picks him up somewhere in the Timber woods after the war, languishes for months (three of them to be precise), before anyone figures out what to do with him.

Languishes, gets into fights with prisoners, with guards-- by the end of the third one, he's in one of the tiny solitary cells up so high it makes him fucking motion-sick every time the prison descends beneath the sand, or back up, just so no one kills him.

Or he doesn't kill anyone else.

(But the guy had had it coming, and deserved exactly what he got, and it will be a cold day in hell before Seifer Almasy apologizes for any of it.)

By the end of the third month, the warden on duty comes to collect him himself, shackling him so he has to walk hunched, stooped over. Not that it's much of a change from the box he'd been living in for days, cot not long enough to stretch out on, ceiling too short to stand upright.

(Not to mention that he hasn't showered in days, nor been trusted enough with a cheap single-blade safety razor to scrape off the beard he's got going on. But those are details. Problems that can be fixed later. If he ever gets out of here, or at least back down to general pop and given some fucking privileges again.)

He doesn't bother asking questions, mostly because he never gets an answer that satisfies him, just goes, compliant in theory until an opportunity presents itself to be anything but.

So, when they drag him down to the ground floor, to the discharge room full of officers and guards all staring at him like he's going to lose his shit entirely and kill them all, it's startling, to say the least.

Not that he'd known what the hell to expect, only that it absolutely isn't Quistis Trepe, standing by the desk, looking so freakishly out of place in her SeeD uniform that he thinks he's hallucinating her for a long several minutes.

Seifer blinks.

She doesn't vanish.

He blinks again.

She's still there, prim and proper and blonde.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

It's probably not the greeting she expects, his voice coming out rough and hoarse from disuse, but, shit, it's not like anyone had let him know she was coming.

He might have worn his cleaner inmate jumpsuit.

[flowercrown-bucky]

The Secrets We Hide

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Warnings: Swearing

Summary: Loki has a secret. A big secret. When Thor needs his help finding Odin, his secret may be exposed.

Authors’ Note: My very favourite reader of my Loki series, Lavender Blue, asked for some more Thor, and whilst thinking about it I got a little carried away

Also Y/N has a last name in this that might make sense if you get to the end oop

If you’re waiting for the next part of Lavender Blue I fucking SUCK at writing smut someone help me-

"Where are we going, brother?" Thor looked curiously at Loki.

He'd been to Britain a handful of times in his life.

The very first had been sometime during what would later become colloquially know as the dark ages, in the early sixth century, he was inclined to believe. Earth, he had found, was wholly unremarkable, if England was anything to go by.

It was on this occasion that he had learned of his brother's magical talents, travelling on horseback through the countryside. He'd stumbled onto a (Remarkably small, he noticed) kingdom, ruled over by a gentleman by the name of Arthur. The real shock, however, had come to him upon entering the banquet hall in his host's castle, only to find his younger brother - who was, needless to say, not pleased to see him - sat next to his host. The lengths he'd gone to disguise himself were commendable, and the beard he'd magicked up was impressive, but there was no mistaking the mischievous twinkle in the eyes of Loki of Asgard.

However, the England Thor found himself in now was a far cry from the country of his memory. Winchester, he had been informed, was where the bifrost had brought them, but the cobbled streets he was walking on were about as unfamiliar to him as unicorn land.

Loki, however, definitely knew where he was. He had clearly been here many times before.

He'd replied to his brother's questioning with a disparaging look, continuing to walk on. All Thor knew about where they were going is that it had something to do with where Loki had placed their father three years ago. As for his personal theories? His mind was drawing a blank.

Eventually, Loki came to a stop in front of a single house within a terrace. A tall, unremarkable house, by all means, built with honey-coloured sandstone, the paint on the windows flaking with age, several panes baring the circular marks of a pontil. Three tall steps led to the front door, and the view of the living room through large window next to it allowing some insight as to the nature of its inhabitant.

Through the hazy glass, Thor could see a remarkably cluttered, disorganised room. A large leather armchair sat in the corner of the room, worn from use and decorated by a patchwork quilt. A similar rug lay on the wooden floor, a tapestry of fabric scraps. Opposite the TV was a grey cord sofa, upon which a number of odd and brightly coloured socks were strewn.

It was fairly safe to assume, Thor reckoned, that the inhabitant of this house - who was currently upstairs, based on the light coming through the window - was not his father.

So what the hell were they doing here?

Loki's three short raps of the knocker elicited a response from the house's inhabitant. They could hear them scurrying down the stairs and towards the door, and fumbling with the lock before opening it.

The woman on the other side was not what he was expecting.

The arrival of your visitors had come as somewhat of a shock to you, that much was apparent from your face. The second thing Thor noticed, was that you clearly knew Loki.

Your hair, slightly damp from the shower, was pulled up on top of your head, secured by a scrunchie, the deep green shade of which complimented your eyes. You were dressed simply in a pair of jeans and a red woollen jumper, your feet bare save for a silver ring around the second toe on your left foot and chipped nail polish on your toenails.

The third thing Thor noticed about you, was that you were very pretty.

"Father?" His voice came out as a squeak.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see his brother laughing.

"Your father I most certainly am not." Your right eyebrow quirked bemusedly, crossing your arms. "But this is a surprise."

"Sorry, I must've forgotten to mention it." Loki grinned at you. "Can we come in?"

You stepped aside, beckoning the brothers through the door and into your home. You shot Loki a pointed look as he entered, prompting him to roll his eyes and, begrudgingly, remove his shoes and place them neatly by the door. In the interest of remaining polite, Thor followed suit.

"I take it this is not a social visit?" You asked, leading them into your kitchen.

The kitchen, Thor noticed, was nice. Homely. Small, but still, homely. The stone floor was cool under his socked feet, although his left being slightly warmer than the right led him to suspect your floor was central-heated, and the aga opposite him would probably heat the entire house. The beams supporting the ceiling were low enough that he'd hit his head twice, although he had noticed Loki had ducked, his posture automatically slouched so as to avoid collision.

Loki had clearly spent a lot of time in this house, in this kitchen.

You hopped up onto the counter, crossing your legs at the knee.

"Perceptive as ever, I see." Loki chuckled. "Although, my manners seem to have momentarily lost me. Y/N, this is my brother, Thor. Thor, this is Y/N Hudson. She's.... She's a friend of mine."

Thor did not miss the curious glance you shot at his brother.

"As delighted as I am to see you, Loki," You rolled your eyes. "What do you want?"

"It would seem that my dear brother has managed to lose our father." Thor glared at the dark haired man.

"I would dearly love to know how exactly one goes about losing one's father." Your lips quirked into an amused smile.

"And you're the only living being on this dull little planet who's capable of finding him." Loki ignored your attempt at riling him, catching your gaze.

"I don't understand." Thor furrowed his brow. "What are you, a witch? Do you have some sort of tracking abilities?"

"No, she's just very intelligent." Loki corrected. "Would you give Y/N and I a moment alone, brother mine?"

Thor nodded gruffly, watching you hop off the counter and walk out of the kitchen, into the room he'd first seen through the window.

He did not miss how his brother bit his lip as he looked you up and down.

Your front room was Loki's favourite place on Midgard.

It might even be his favourite place in the nine realms.

It had quickly become his bolt-hole, his safe place. It was the first place he'd ever been shown true kindness, where you'd brought him after you found him in a back alley, dying and alone. It was where you'd laid him on the sofa, where he'd been tucked under a blanket for the first time, where he'd drunk his first ever cup of midgardian tea. It was where you'd allowed him, a complete stranger, to rest and heal.

It was where he'd returned to pester this annoying, intriguing little human being, a process within which he discovered you were possibly less annoying and entirely more intriguing than he'd initially assumed.

He trailed his fingers across the back of your sofa absent mindedly, staring at the rings on your coffee table. You had a habit of leaving half-drunk, cold cups of coffee on this table - hence, the rings - something that irked him to no end.

The long hairs on the cushion caught his eye, and he wondered where the furry little beast might be hiding. Your cat, Kenneth, did not like Loki, a sentiment he wholeheartedly reciprocated. If you weren't so fond of it, he would more than happily fling the little monster into some unreachable pocket of a distant dimension.

His eyes reached where you'd perched on the arm of your armchair, one leg stretched out in front of you. He allowed his gaze to lazily climb the length of your body, taking all of you in.

Gods, did he love your legs.

"I've missed you, darling." He grinned up at you.

"I've not seen you for two weeks, Loki." Your voice was slow, deliberate. "And you come to me now, because you need me?"

He bit his lip, you had him there. He never was quite sure how to gauge your emotions, never sure how you’d react. Everything you did was carefully considered.

Even after all this time with you, you were still something of an enigma to him. It was one of the things that had initially drawn him to you, one of the things that he loved about you.

"On the contrary, my sweet." His voice had dropped, so much so that he was almost purring. "I always need you."

"Don't you try to charm me, silvertongue." You raised one finger in front of you, pointing it at him; a warning.

"Is it working?" He raised one eyebrow at you as he spoke.

"I'll let you know." You grumbled.

A soft chuckle left his lips, crossing the distance between you in two strides, dropping to his knees before your outstretched legs. He glanced up at you inquisitively, a massive grin stretching across his face at your nod of confirmation.

Gently, he lifted his hands up so his fingertips pressed at your stomach, at the little gap of skin between the bottom of your jumper and the waistband of your jeans. His fingers slid gently under your jumper, taking the woolen garment with it until his palms were flat against your stomach.

"Hey, little one." He cooed. "I can't believe how tiny you are. I can barely see you."

You laughed quietly, bringing your hand down to rest on top of his much larger one. He kissed the soft skin of your slightly swollen belly, and the intimacy of the small gesture made your heart swell with love and affection for both him and the child growing inside you.

"I wonder if they'll be blue." You mused, running your fingers through the ends of his hair.

"Why, in the name of all things unholy," He looked up from his ministrations. "Would it be blue?"

"Because, you're, well, you know..." You waved your hands expressively. "Nevermind. I had a scan a few days ago, do you want to see?"

You fished in your back pocket, pulling out a small folded piece of paper.

Desperation was not something Thor was used to.

However, in that moment, it was exactly what he as feeling.

He'd crossed his legs, he'd shifted his weight from leg to leg uncomfortably. But however hard he tried, he just could not shift the feeling. He needed to go to the toilet, and he needed to go to the toilet badly.

As the age-old saying went, when you gotta go, you gotta go.

He'd uncomfortably wandered towards where he'd seen you and his brother wander off to.

What he was not expecting to see, was Loki knelt between your legs.

His hands flew up to his face, shielding his view. He'd seen this before, and it scarred him for life.

What even had he seen? 

His brother, kneeling between the legs of a mortal woman. Your jeans, he noted, were entirely done up.

Loki was kissing your stomach, caressing it, a dark piece of paper clutched in his other hand.

"Your daddy loves you so, so much," His brother had whispered to your stomach. "But don't give your mummy too much grief, ok?"

Words escaped Thor.

This woman Loki had brought him to, was pregnant. With Loki's child.

He cleared his throat, startling both you and his brother. Loki scrambled to his feet, anxious about being caught in such an intimate moment with you.

"I needed the toilet." Thor's voice came out in a much higher pitch than his intention.

"On your left."  Loki's voice was barely a croak, his voice hoarse.

"I'm okay," His voice came out in a more nervous way than he was expecting. "Congratulations are in order, I think?"

"Yes." Loki's voice was gruff, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Thank you, brother."

"Thank you, Thor." You smiled warmly at the god.

"Anyway," Loki was evidently in a hurry to change the subject. "Do you know where the Allfather is?"

"He's in Norway. That's all I know. He's hidden himself well." You rubbed your chin thoughtfully. "But I do know a man who might be able to tell you more."

Loki's lips curled into a satisfied grin.

Thor's state of confusion remained long after they left your house. He was, as the mortals would say, totally gobsmacked.

Unable to provide the location of Odin, you'd handed Loki a neatly folded piece of paper. As far as Thor knew, his brother had not yet opened it.

Loki had kissed you passionately before he left, an uncharacteristic display of affection and one that made Thor deeply uncomfortable. He'd cleared his throat in a pitiful attempt to stifle a laugh, met only by his brother's middle finger in his face.

Rude.

He glanced at his brother as they walked. He'd not said a word since they’d left, but his hair was mussed from your fingers and his cheeks flushed from your embrace.

“I’m shocked.” He mused. “A woman - an attractive woman - likes you.”

“Harsh.” Loki frowned. “And she didn’t, at first. Like me, that is.”

“Smart woman.” He chuckled, eliciting a punch from the taller of the two.

In his many, many years of existence, he would never have guessed that Loki would be the first of the two of them to become a dad. He never would’ve even imagined his brother as a father in his wildest dreams.

In all honesty, he had never imagined a woman taking Loki as her lover.

He shuddered at the mental image. Yeugh.

“Congratulations, I guess.” A sudden fondness overwhelmed him. “Dad.”

“They are everything to me.” Loki’s voice was clear, concise in a way he had never before heard from his mischievous brother - he was, after all, the God of Lies. “I would gladly give my life to save theirs. I’d give yours, for that matter.”

“Your sentiment is touching.” He grunted. “Anyway, where are we even going, brother?”

He turned to his suit-clad little brother, watching him withdraw the piece of folded paper from his pocket. He unfolded it carefully, revealing your delicate, printed writing.

S. Holmes

221B, Baker Street, London.

[gallifreyriver]

I'm sure I'm wrong, but what if he was expecting to turn blue and that's why he looks so confused?

I mean, he's a Jotun, she's also a Loki variant, therefore he'd reason she should be too.

So, that makes me wonder: (and this will be long and full of tangents, it's not even a complete theory just a bunch of loose thoughts, so feel free to ignore)

Is Jotun ice touch is an intentional thing Jotun's do? Like it's an ability they learn and can choose to use or not. (Could be possible given that Loki has obviously touched people before he found out he was Jotun and nothing happened [but could still be partly the reason he was hesitant to touch Odin when he collapsed in the trophy room- he was afraid his touch might hurt him since everyone seemed to believe any Jotun touch would turn you icy in Thor 1])

Or, if that's not true and it just happens (which seems unlikely now I think about it) that this moment makes him wonder if Sylvie isn't a Jotun, since she touched him and nothing happened- Assuming that he might believe if any Jotun were to touch him he'd turn blue again.

If the Jotun ice touch is an inherent thing that just happens and they don't choose it, does it only work for full-blood Jotuns? In the MCU Laufey is Loki's birth father. The MCU doesn't mention who his mother is. (In the comics we know it's Farbauti, but we're going off MCU canon right now.) Loki is said to have been a runt. Small and weak for a frost giant and abandoned in a temple by his father. What if he was small because his mother wasn't Jotun? The TVA have Sylvie's name as "Sylvie Laufeydottir" so we can assume she must be at least half Jotun as well. She also said she, unlike Loki, knew she was adopted. Said she barely remembered her mother, but (to my memory) said nothing at all about her father, or that her mother was Jotun. (Slight tangent) There are some theories that Frigga was Loki's birth mom, after an affair with Laufey, but it was a secret taken to Frigga and Odin's graves. (If she was it would certainly bring that "Is Jotuns ice touch intentional or not" back into play). However, Sylvie said she barely remembered her mother, meaning she did know another mother from Frigga, even if it was a faint memory. This sort of throws out that idea. I saw another theory that Hela could be Loki's mother. I have doubts that she would have had an affair with Laufey that produced a child, but maybe it was a weird power play. Idk. But I suppose it could be possible that Odin might have locked her away and went to Jotunheim to take the baby. Anyway, in either case, why did Loki's Frigga teach Loki magic, but Sylvie's didn't? (Sylvie taught herself). Could they have had different mothers? Would the TVA have allowed Sylvie's timeline to even get anywhere near her conception if that had happened? (Another tangent) Makes me wonder about Sylvie's nexus event. We haven't been told what it was yet, and Sylvie doesn't even know. Was it because she was a girl? All other Lokis seems to be male presenting, and they confirmed she's the only one they've seen who was a woman. But if that were the case, why wait so long to take her? Why not do it from birth? Pruning seems to occur very soon after the nexus event. I have doubts the TVA would wait so long to prune her if her nexus event was something related to her birth.

Anyway, back to 2, what if this moment made him somehow believe she actually wasn't a Loki? I mean from his perspective, she's the only woman Loki, ever, according to his other variants; She calls herself Sylvie. It was even written "Sylvie Laufeydottir," in her TVA report that Loki saw, not "Loki Laufeydottir"; She didn't turn him blue at the touch so maybe he thought she might not be a Jotun, despite what her last name claimed; and said she was told she was adopted and faintly remembered her birth mother; And Frigga didn't teach her magic- (What if her nexus event was that she just wasn't actually a Loki by TVA standards too? Or if not being taught magic was, in itself, her Nexus Event??) I'm not saying it's true or that any of that matters (or even makes sense), but what if that's what he thought in that moment? Like what if, after learning more about her, he genuinely started to believe she wasn't actually a variant of him?

But like I said, (if anyone made it this far) this is word salad and I'm probably wrong or missed something. I just like running through fan theories, so don't take this too seriously.

CINEMATIC PARALLEL - Sylvie touched his arm that turned blue in contact with a Frost Giant in first Thor movie.      › by @lokicharms​ / @casquecest​

[silvertongued-trickster-archive]

Loki-tormenting anon again. The irony here is, Loki wouldn't deserve such fate in the least. It would seem that he's forever destined to get the short end of the stick, no matter what choice he makes, and what's his motivation. He'd also have far too much time to ponder over this, suspended in void, not quite alive, yet still not dead. Would this turn him bitter again, or would he cling to the hope of getting rescued? Or maybe, not rescued at all - but found, by the one who seeks the Tesseract?

DAYMN anon, back at it again with them FEELS //

(link to the previous post here, if anyone is curious)

Why? Why do you do this to me??Okay, but it’s true!!

(placing this under the cut because… i rant a lot about my smol, misunderstood son)

Boiling down to the core of everything; yes Loki has done some morally and ethically questionable things, but all he wants/wanted to be was Thor’s equal in both the Allfather’s eyes and the rest of Asgard’s eyes. And he thought that the way to do that was to be a strong King. Both Thor and Loki have always been competing against each other for Odin’s affection and approval, you could see that from the small snippet we have of them as kids in the first Thor. 

In the first Thor, his sole motivation for doing everything that he did was to prove to Odin that he was just as worthy of being King as Thor. He could see that Thor wasn’t ready to be King before Odin did, and he knew the coronation was a mistake. He had meant no true ill-will.However, when everything transpired and Thor was banished he thought that this was the perfect time to prove to his father that he was just as worthy as his brother. The fact that he had figured out his true heritage was just the icing on the cake. It just made him more eager, made him need that recognition. Think about it, he killed his own blood-father, he essentially denounced any ties with Jotunheim to prove to Odin that he was entirely dedicated to Asgard, to the people, something that a King has to be. He had grown up with tails of the war(s) between the Jotuns and the Aesirs, and how the Jotuns still remained a threat. And, how do you prove yourself? What does a King have to do? Illuminate threats and keep the peace.Bare in mind that Loki is still quite young here (both Loki and Thor seem to be like… late teens/early adults? In the first film? Like, their mindset is very much… “I know everything” when they really know nothing. Which is atypical of people this age). So, in his mind, he was doing the right thing, and he had expected Odin to be proud of him. And what did he get? The complete opposite. A pained and disappointed look/tone/whatever. Have you ever had your parents sound or look at you like that? It’s fucking horrible.That just made him give up. You could see it in his eyes as he let go and fell from the Bifrost. 

(I hc that he regretted it the moment he let go, but that’s a story for another time)

In terms of Avengers. You could see there, that this was not the same Loki. Not only did he physically look awful, but he seemed far more violent and intent on destruction, more wild. His invasion seemed rushed, and you could tell that he didn’t plan it. The Chitauri probably used all manner of torture on Loki to get him to comply with what they wanted. He probably went along with it because it was that or death. He had the mind stone in his sceptre, right, so that definitely had some play in everything. I have this theory that, although he wasn’t under full Chitauri control, the mind gem in the sceptre still manipulated his thoughts and emotions. I said that he was more ‘wild’, and that was probably an effect that the gem had, pulling his more negative and aggressive emotions forward. 

So, lets backtrack slightly. This little trickster has grown up feeling like he has to constantly battle for his father’s affections, he’s tried to prove that he was just as worthy as his older brother and he’s been shot down without being told why what he did was wrong. (the whole… trying to destroy Jotunheim thing). And on top of that, he’s been tortured by the Chitauri and had his mind fucked with by the infinity stone. Okay, yes, some may argue that he deserved some sort of punishment for what he did to Jotunheim. But torture? No one deserves that. 

And moving on! Thor 2. Here’s an example of Odin’s A+ parenting. He has a ‘problem child’ (Loki), and what does he do? HE DECIDES TO FUCKING LOCK HIM AWAY IN WHAT IS, ESSENTIALLY, GLORIFIED SOLITARY CONFINEMENT FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE! Does that sound like something familiar? (*cough* Hela! *cough* - again that’s a story for another time). But, seriously! Yes, okay, he has fancy furniture and book to read, but he’s still trapped in a box with no social interaction. That freaking does shit to you.Like, how desperate did he have to be to make up an illusion of his mother just so that he had someone to talk to! Like, seriously, the only time we see him interacting with legit beings when in the cell is when he’s informed of Frigga’s death and when Thor comes to talk to him.Again, I believe that he should have had some sort of punishment for what he did in Thor 1 (Avengers I’m iffy about since he wasn’t technically in his own mind there), but nothing like this. 

Point is - looking at things from Loki’s POV, he does always seem to get the bad shit. It’s like a combination of people misunderstanding his situation, bad luck or just bad timing. It’s no wonder this guy is so messed up. His punishments never seem to fit his crimes. 

And to think, after going through all that, having things FINALLY starting to turn around for him in Thor 3, and just as he has hope that maybe things aren’t all lost and MAYBE he’ll be able to redeem himself as a worthy Prince of Asgard, and he’s gotten over all the shit he’s been through. Then THIS HAPPENS! AND HE’S RIGHT BACK AT THE FUCKING START AGAIN! Of fucking course it would turn him bitter!

First of all, falling through the void again, he’d be terrified! He’d be replaying the first time it happened, and meeting the Chitauri and going through all that. He’d be having like… a fucking meltdown thinking that he’d have to go through something like that again. The feelings of isolation and being alone would come surging back, he’d lose all hope of being able to get his life back on track cause it would be like… “everytime I do something with good intentions, bad shit happens so whats the FUCKING POINT”He’d curse himself for taking it, for being greedy and snatching the Tesseract instead of escaping with the rest of the Asgardian’s. That would probably start a whole new wave of negative, self-hating thoughts.

And, okay, we know who’s seeking the Infinity Stones? Thanos. Who was in control of the Chitauri? THANOS!If Loki is found by the person seeking the Tesseract, which would be Thanos, this big purple fucking grape man is gonna flip his SHIT! Cause Loki was the one who lead the invasion on Earth, so in his mind it would be Loki’s fault that it failed. And Loki’s fault that he lost the Mind Stone and the Tesseract. 

SO GUESS WHO’D BE IN FOR YET ANOTHER ROUND OF TORTURE AND SHIT? 

Loki. 

[eisenvulcanstein]

I also got the sense that kid!Loki killed Thor by accident. The way he said "I killed Thor" reminded me of my parents.

Parents: "why did you (tiny inconsequential mistake)?" (as they gear up to explain in detail how my many failings as a human being culminated in this grave, unforgivable error)

Me: "because I'm stupid, lazy, and can't do anything right" (looking them right in the eye and saying something terrible with unflinching bravado) (saying what they were about to spend 30 minutes hammering into me) (because it hurt less to say it myself)

That's how kid!Loki sounded to me. He wasn't boasting. He wasn't unfeeling. He wasn't gloating. He was saying something that hurt while refusing to show that it hurt.

It's absolutely fascinating to me the way different people interpret that scene in the show. Some people are apparently* furious that kid!Loki is being portrayed as evil, confirming the bs Ragnarok viewpoint while simultaneously portraying Sylvie as delicate and innocent. (Side note: she really isn't being portrayed that way. We saw her burn people to death. We saw how many time-thingys she had, and knew that for each one she killed several people. She spent years planning and executing her revenge. She was a good enough warrior as a child to escape the TVA. She grew up surrounded by pain, terror, and death. None of that says "delicate and innocent" just because she's being portrayed as a person.)

Some people look at kid!Loki's overall portrayal and see that he's not being shown as a child serial killer but as an actual child in need of protecting, and that he therefore didn't intentionally and evilly (god that word looks weird) murder Thor.

I interpreted it through the lens of my abuse and saw a very particular flavor of bravado from my own past, and immediately felt that kid!Loki didn't murder Thor. He didn't actually even say "murdered" he said "killed" iirc. It made me think of Thor 1, when all Loki was trying to do was show Odin that making Thor king would be a terrible, likely very bloody, mistake, and it spiralled into a clusterfuck that destroyed Loki's life.

Real life kids accidentally kill siblings in all sorts of ways. Add in one of them being a sorcerer in training, and both being warriors in training, and the number of things that can go wrong multiplies exponentially.

Overall I do like the show. There are things I don't like, like in episode 1 Loki would've been speaking AllSpeak not English, so the people he met would've been able to understand him. The over-acting, though it does appear to only happen when Loki is playing a part instead of being genuine, I think Loki is a better liar (affectionate) than that. Loki and Sylvie should've disguised themselves as snotty rich people with tickets to get on the train. If it's the first thing that occurred to me, it definitely occurred to Loki. The writer could've still had the conflict on the train. Rich asshole: "I know everyone of consequence on this planet and these people *gestures dismissively* are impostors." Police move in, etc etc. Also, if the TemPad was in Loki's pocket dimension how the absolute fuck was it damaged when he fell??? Just a few thoughts.

There are holes, and inconsistencies, and things that just weren't that thought through, but it's not so egregious that I'm not able to just say "for stupid script reasons" and keep going. Maybe I'm just used to rooting through the MCU for the good bits and mentally discarding everything else. The show has enough good bits for me* that I haven't mentally thrown it in the trash with 99% of Ragnarok and 100% of the last two Avengers movies.

I was upset they made me watch him die twice. I'm pretty sure I screamed "what the fuck!!! NO!!!!! goddammit!". Interestingly, I actually believed he was dead this time and Marvel had just screwed Loki fans over even worse than last time. Every other time Loki died, including Infinity War, I believed he'd be back. But this time, when it looked like they'd killed the main character two episodes before the show ended, it was so on brand for Marvel at this point that I believed it. If they hadn't had the little after credits scene I would've been mad as hell all week.

Where was I going with this? No clue, I think I'm just rambling at this point. I haven't posted much about the series so my thoughts just kind of come exploding out of me whenever the subject arises.

*I say "apparently" because I haven't personally read many Loki reaction posts, but someone who has mentioned seeing this particular interpretation multiple times

*This is not meant in any way to be dismissive of those who don't like the series and don't see anything in it that they like. This is my personal opinion only.

Episode 5 - the positive

(under the cut for length and spoilers)

I liked a lot of things about this episode, more than I realized when I started writing them down. I think it's worth noting that I am looking forward to watching it again when I get home, and that's a nice feeling, after having felt so conflicted/upset after episode 4 (which I did not bother to watch a second time).

- The humor was more up my alley this episode, so I found most of the jokes funny, especially the alligator jokes. I mean, I don't care what anyone says; I am a simple person, and everyone being alternately confused and accepting of the fact that "one of us is an alligator for some reason" is hilarious to me.

- I liked Old Loki and Kid Loki and I didn't expect to (nor did I expect to dislike them - just nothing them). I liked how they each had a distinct personality, despite their limited screentime.

I think that this episode really helped to establish the idea that a Loki can be many, many things and that, despite being versions of the same being, each one feels like their own whole, separate person. I guess this is where the "identity" theme they talked about comes in, bc it does make one consider who they are and how any number of choices they made or will make can create so many different outcomes. And each one results in a person who is altered in some way as they set off down the path they've chosen, ultimately becoming unrecognizable as the person they once were, back at a certain point in time, when they still had the option to make a different choice.

And, I mean, it's a little "meh" but you could go down a rabbit hole of "what ifs," which is always a fun time, and I could believe that being confronted with this would make our Loki take a much closer look at the choices he's made, and why, and where he has ended up compared to where he could have ended up. "Nature vs. nurture" is something to be considered, too - at the core, is a Loki merely nothing more than the sum of his* choices, or does his chaotic nature and unpredictability make him more than that? Are the choices that he makes influenced by the universe, or is the universe influenced by a Loki?

Idk, just some things to ponder, I suppose. My point is, I can see this being what they meant by exploring the theme of identity, though it's definitely not what I would have expected. (Very Loki of them.) Like many other things in this series, though, I think that they are acknowledging a theme and opening the door for exploration - I don't feel that they are delving too far into that exploration in the narrative itself. Which is neither a good thing nor a bad thing, exactly, just a thing worth mentioning.

It's also interesting to me that none of the Lokis looked alike - not like Tom and not like each other. You have to wonder how that happened - how one person can have such drastically different physical incarnations, for lack of a better word. But I suppose if you think of a Loki as an entity or, like, a kind of energy that can take on many forms, it follows that the physical form has nothing to do with being a Loki; it's all internal.

I also think, actually, that a Loki can't be defined - one may open the door on self-exploration but not find an answer because there simply isn't one. I am more inclined to think that there's not any one thing or set of circumstances or choices made that make a Loki a Loki, because there's really no such thing as a Loki, singular. There's only Loki, the chaotic tangle of love, rage, power, mischief, tragedy, etc that exists at the core of each version, regardless of his/her own set of circumstances, choices, and experiences.

Not to be That Person, but I wrote something in my fic A Graveyard of Stars that I think expresses it much better:

But Loki’s was a fire that could not be put out. Like energy, it could shift and move and change; the flames could darken with rage and lighten with love. But it could not be diminished, and trying would only ensure that it came back again and again, more intense than ever.

Death cannot touch Loki because Loki transcends death.

Thor cannot believe he’d never seen it before.

It’s as Loki said: the sun will shine on us again.

Which is actually similar to what Loki said on Lamentis, now that I'm looking at it. So ... yeah. To circle back around to my original point, all of the Lokis in this episode, along with the implications of their existences, does open the door for exploration of identity, and the audience can go as far as they want with it, really.

*I realize I am using male pronouns, and I don't mean to erase either Loki's gender fluidity nor Sylvie, but by asking these questions I'm really referring to what makes our Loki a Loki, when one considers the existence of all the other variants.

To move on with the list, though.

- I am so glad that we didn't spend much time on President Loki or any of that nonsense. It was a good narrative choice to have the "core" Loki group encounter them to establish their existence and then leave them fighting among themselves.

- I do wonder, though, why President Loki is the only one to look like Tom Hiddleston, although I guess we're meant to infer that he's a variant who had the same journey as our Loki, up to a point, after which he strayed off the path somewhere and ended up pruned. Not sure if the whole "president" thing came before or after the pruning, but I suppose it doesn't matter that much.

(- Which, back to the existence of so many different Lokis - I wonder if they all start out in different universes? That is, there's a universe where Loki was born a woman, Sylvie, and they're about the same age so are we meant to infer that she existed in her universe parallel to our Loki existing in his? So I suppose the TVA isn't just actively pruning divergent timelines but is also actively merging universes that exist outside of the "sacred timeline."

- This may have been mentioned in episode 1, I don't remember - I do remember the mention of a multiverse war and the TVA working to prevent that, but I don't remember if they said how long ago the war was or if the merging of universes is an ongoing process (as one might infer based on Sylvie and Loki being the same age, as well as the drastically different physical versions of Lokis who ended up in the void).)

- Loki and Sylvie are as awkward as teenagers and I kind of no, really no, kind of like it. I like that they specified neither of them had friends before, though Loki clearly has got it bad for her and she seems to feel at least a little similarly.

- To me, the framing of the romance feels more like they're both acknowledging that they feel something for one another, with a possibility of more down the road, "after this is over." It's ambiguous enough, I think, to justify the interpretation that they're in agreement that whatever comes next, a relationship or not, friendship is at least going to be part of it. It still feels very fast and shoe-horned, but they could have been way more "in your face" about it.

- I was so worried that, when Sylvie said they needed a distraction and they shared that long look, they were going to kiss lmao like thank god they didn't, or else I would take back my generous "it could have been worse" interpretation. Much rather have Loki sacrifice himself to the smoke monster than to stand there making out with Sylvie bc, I mean, the cliche of it all.

- Loki is as subtle as a Mack truck.

- "I don't even know what we're doing" asdhjghdsa Loki you awkward dumbfuck lmfao I'm sorry, I find his absolute cluelessness regarding All Things Romance endearing. And pretty in-character, tbh, to how I imagine Loki would handle such things. (I'm sure he was just as awkward with Valkyrie in Sanctuary, at least, though I don't remember offhand.)

- I don't think Loki is or would be awkward to this extent with Thor, but he and Thor are soulmates, so it's different.

- I realize I just implied that Loki knows Thor better than he knows himself and, yknow what, I stand by that.

- Seems like he can conjure a new outfit if he wants to, he just doesn't want to. Fair enough.

- "What was your nexus event?" "I killed Thor." THE FUCK?! As a kid, really? Loki's long silence says it all (as did his face: such subtle, very emotion! Kudos Tom)

^^ I don't know how this ended up in the positive post, except that I suppose I don't really have much of a complaint about it. I dislike the implication, though, that Kid Loki was a little murder demon and that's why he got pruned and meanwhile Kid Sylvie was sweetness and light, playing her "Save Asgard!" game, like, can we not, please? Smh.

- This is definitely going to be addressed in the negative/critical post, but for the positive post can I just - we got acknowledgement that the knife against Thanos was fucking lame - narrative acknowledgement! Fucking thank you!

- I'll have to rewatch in order to better understand the conversation - I missed some of what Old Loki was saying about knives vs magic - but the scorn with which he responded to Loki mentioning that death watered some of my crops.

- Also, I knew that shit was fake. (No I didn't.) (Yes I did.) And if I'm not mistaken, establishing that Loki's death in IW was fake opens the door for Loki to come back to the main timeline. Miss me with that 'Loki faked his death again what a trickster' nonsense, as a matter of principle, but Loki narratively isn't dead. Right? RIGHT?

- "I got lonely. I missed Thor." Aww. Although I do not believe there is any universe in which Loki would have stayed away from Thor long enough to age into an old man (bc remember his long life-span, it had to have been centuries). Loki would last ten years, tops.

- The narrative addressing, among the Lokis, how fucked up it is that every time Loki tries to be a good person, he gets pruned, was validating.

- MOBIUS. Mobius driving a fucking pizza delivery car; Mobius and Sylvie bickering; Mobius not really being redeemed but kind of redeemed, I guess; Mobius and Loki, Loki hugging Mobius - I mean, criticize it and say what you want and you'd probably be right, but in that moment, Loki was showing a rare vulnerability by putting himself out there first, by initiating the physical contact and making it clear that he's come to care about Mobius. *crying* Nice little character growth arc, if fairly obvious, from Loki refusing to shake Mobius's hand in episode 1, as well.

- I just - I feel like there was an almost child-like quality to it, in the way that Loki went in for that hug with all the hope in the world that it would be returned, and I just love that. When is the last time Loki actually reached out to hug somebody, I wonder? When's the last time someone hugged him back?

- "I like you better," Mobius said to Sylvie, you know, like a liar.

- "I think we're more powerful than we realize," hey no fucking shit, Loki, only took you like a thousand years, two movies, and five episodes. (More on this in the critical post.)

- Old Loki creating Asgard, along with the "we're more powerful" line, and Loki figuring out Sylvie's enchantment ("you know how, because we're the same") - eh, but also I kind of interpreted it as the narrative confirming that Loki doesn't use his magic much bc he has no idea what he's capable of, or he isn't secure in what he's capable of, which is a stretch and a retcon - but, better than acting like he's incapable completely or that Sylvie has better/more useful magic.

- Also makes me wonder how much of the 'stopping a building with telekinesis' thing was pure instinct on Loki's part (and he was as surprised as the rest of us about it) - what was my point?

- Oh yeah - I think this will open the door for "our" Loki to do more magic and figuring out his powers in episode 6. I hope, anyway. In TFatWS and WandaVision, it seems like the last episode was when they got to really level up their powers, so I'm hoping Loki follows that trend.

- I feel like the story has just gotten going, which is probably not how I should feel on the second-to-last episode, but I suppose it counts as a positive that my reaction was nooooo when the episode ended, lmao. I need to know what happens next.

I think that's it. I didn't intend for this post to be so long, I'm sorry. I think I am just kinda relieved to have liked the episode? I think that we did get some follow-through in this episode on some of the subtext in the narrative. Smh. I don't know if it will hold up under a closer analysis, but that's why I wanted to get my thoughts down without influence and without thinking too much about it.

I might change my mind. Idk. I feel like I should downplay my liking it, not knowing what the overall fandom reaction is and not wanting to upset anyone, idk. There's definitely an element here, too, of I guess having come to accept that this is what the show is doing, this is what we've got, and for better or for worse I'm just gonna have to live with that, so might as well make it for better?