#thats a lot of words 0.0

[logicroute]

hades fun ramble abt how the yttd fandom treats shin tsukimi :)

haiiii so if you know me you know that i have one billion illness about some guy named shin tsukimi from yttd! and i have some issues on how the fandom writes him, this is coming from someone who has health issues so im going to be somewhat projecting but! hopefully not that much. all of it is going to be under cut!

this is going to cover a lot of spoilers.. so i wouldnt click it unless you finished the game. its also going to cover topics like ableism and a mention of toxic relationships but thats expected when you want to talk about shin and the fandom

so in game (epsically in your turn to shine) its heavily hinted that shin is someone who has health issues (chronic illness and the works), even in the base game it is shown that shin is physically weak (chapt one in the bar where he tries to open the drawer for example.).

and how the fandom made that into shin being a weak person, but not in a strength sense, in the sense that he cant protect/cant hold his own (looking at you shin ship writers.). but! thats just the only issue right? (this is also ableism to me in a way.. but i cant put my words right at the moment.)

nope!! theres more. the fandom at times made shin out to be a 'dirty' person, someone who is gross and unclean. even if that's far from canon (there being a line that shins hands are clean in game.) and to me, thats just stereotypes of people who are mentally ill coming into play. saying that people who suffer from mental illness cant treat themselves on their own. which in some cases may be true, but not in all of them.

i also think this ties into shin being a person who was in game he is saving money, he is a job hopper which some fans took as he is poor which mean hes dirty.. which is just gross that people think just because a person may be poor, automatically means they're dirty.

theres also the issue with shadow sou (also know as shadsou in the fandom) where (some) people treat it as not a part of shin, it just being a part of midori. shin didnt bring out the hiyori persona out of nowhere, it wouldnt make sense that shin is some 'soft boy'.

fans tend to forget that shin isnt the best person, even in a few pregame thoughts. he can still be an asshole without being told about the 0.0% thing. you can let him be petty, you can let him be sly, you can let him be mean. he doesnt need to be doomed to do any of that.

its the same with the shinai, we only really saw small bits of the shinai.. and guessing from his dialog, he is still close to hiyori and that can affect how he acts, but that doesnt mean a pre game shin acts just like shinai, his an ai for a reason, he learns over time and picks up his own traits. its similar to how the fandom treats highschool shin and his friendship with hiyori and thats a whole another can of worms.

people who say they dont ship hiyori and shin.. and then say they dated in the past are an issue to me. not every toxic friendship has to be romantic, yes hiyori wanted to study shin, but thats because he wanted to see how much he can push a person. even the shinai says he likes to experiment on people, and hiyori most likely did the same with shin but more in a mental sense.

theres a reason why i dont interact with people who tag stuff with their ship tag, i dont trust them to take them in a way thats just them being 'friends'. and if you see it like that or make it out so hiyori isnt that bad of a person... block me i dont want you guys near me. (this goes with those 'midori isnt a bad person!!' au writers to. get out.)

on the topic of shipping, a handful of people who ship shin with people srsly make him out to be someone whos weak and needs to be protected by whoever the pairing is with. you guys just want your yaoi. i see this the most in keishin / alishin circles. shin doesnt need to be 'saved' or whatever, he just needs to heal on his own time, he doesnt need a romantic partner in his life for that.

thats a good part of my thoughts! if you have any questions on my thoughts on shin you can send me an ask here or shoot me a dm on discord :3 (samuraiyaiba)

[ask-the-dancing-demon]

Alright, time for an explanation

Or as best of an explanation I can give at this point.

So, yeah I’ve been pretty much absent from this blog for like what? 2 years? 2 and a half?? I’m not sure of the exact time frame, but needless to say, it’s been a hot minute.

So, where to start?

Well, I should probably say why I got so sluggish with this whole thing.

So, one reason is that I had started working as I had some tuition I needed to pay off and just to get some income in general. The hours , though supposed to be part-time, got weird. Like, work 8-10 hours one day and an hour and a half the next. This not only made my pay really fucked up, but also (and more importantly) had me just too dead to do anything else once I got home.

In fact, even my days off were just me resting and not really wanting to do any big art projects. Which brings me to my next reason:

If all of you who’ve been here remember where we left off, I was working my way up to revealing a very important character. And how I wanted to do it, was I wanted to have this entire comic laid out to introduce him the way I wanted to, drop some exposition, and set up future character arcs.

However, the little project balloon up a little too much. And by a little too much, I mean it took ages just for one strip of panels. Like a couple of weeks for like 5 panels-which there were 5 panels for each part, and there ended up being more 20 parts- I also had very little skill/experience with making anything in a comic structure (I still do, but I’m branching out and am better at it) so everything is in a top-down format and it added to how time-consuming it all was.

So, with everything moving at a snail’s pace, and the number of people coming aboard to see what this blog had to offer I started getting anxious about doing anything on here knowing that the more time I stalled, the more I was just disappointing everyone here. And then, the project ended up needing more panels than I was anticipating, therefore extending my workload tenfold. At some point, that anxiety spread to what I was working on and I could barely focus on what I was doing and kept worrying about how much I wasn’t getting done, how I wasn’t able to do anything else, all the details I was trying to put in that weren’t going well , etc., etc.

Eventually I just kinda sat around worrying about what I was gonna do about this whole thing while simultaneously getting absolutely nothing done.

And then that, combined with my shitty work situation making me practically depressed basically had me sitting on the whole project barely touching tumblr at all. for like two years. I mostly just kept to DeviantArt for a lot of my stuff.

Of course, during those two years, Bendy and the Ink Machine continued, ended, and is getting another game. And through all that time with the progression of the plot and such, I kept getting more and more headcanons and ideas that all tied into this blog’s AU

But I couldn’t show them, because they would be spoilers and would take place after what I was doing. Which meant I’d have to do that first. Which brought back the problems I mentioned before.

Now, even my DeviantArt content is starting to dry up, because of all the things I have to withhold until the stuff is finished.

Finally, I just go fed up with putting the ideas on hold and not getting shit done. And I finally came to the conclusion that I had been too inexperienced to try taking on a project that fricking big and honestly shame on me for that

So, here’s what I’ve decided.

I went ahead and decided to condense the project down to something that I could accomplish. I was originally going to have this character exit at the end, and only sometimes be available to for asks, but the amount of work that entail, if I wanted to get the points I wanted across, would basically put me back to square one. So, instead of doing that, everyone will get to ask him all the stuff they want in order to further this story.

Also, the way I’ll be doing answers will be slightly different; in that it’ll be a bit less of just answering questions with a bit of lore thrown in, and more of asks helping to guide the story. I’ll still give you guys a lot of fun input, though don’t worry! ;)

Next, the characters won’t be quite the same as we left of. You know, having a thousand and two ideas bouncing around your head for a while tends to lead to a few changes in how you do these characters. There’s been a good deal of character development, and a few dynamics have changed, so these characters may act a bit differently than expected.(how many times can i say characters in one paragraph???)

Next, fair warning about how the comic will look. I did have a few parts of it finished before trimming it down. Some parts had all the shading and dialogue and stuff finished, while some parts just had some lineart done (i did lineart for the fudkigng background why did i do that that was such a bad idea D:) Some panels will have the original lineart from 2 years ago-that i did not touch outside of cleaning- and others will be my recent style, so it might look kinda wonky with my old art and current skill right next to each other so just bear with me on it.

And finally, the last thing I need to say is that the amount I had condensed everything down to is almost finished- like, ready to go up within the next week finished. Hell, it could maybe even be finished within the next few days(but probably not because i nitpick like a mofo so it’ll probably be next week)

Sorry for the wait, all this time guys, I promise your patience will be rewarded

I might open the asks for anyone who has anymore questions for me, about this, or about the blog. What do you guys think?

[blisslilywrites]

Hi! Can i have some jealousy hdc like you did for Akashi n Kuroko but for Aomine? Thanks!

A/N: akdjjf one jealous aomine coming up😌✨-lily

｡･ﾟﾟ･⤜ AOMINE DAIKI ⟶

NOT YET IN A RELATIONSHIP:

There’s no way aomine would realize he has feelings for you

Like he’ll stare at you a whole lot and find himself thinking of you day and night but…

He’s just too oblivious to know he has a stupidly huge crush on you

So anyway, one day he noticed one of your classmates talking to you

It wasn’t just talking tho,, the dude was outright flirting with you

at least thats how aomine interpreted it

From then on he noticed the same classmate try to get closer and closer to you

It pissed him off to no end

Except for that he still doesn’t realize he likes you

So like every other person oblivious to their own feelings,, he sulks

Hes rlly sour all the time and just one small comment could set him off and make him mad

Srsly momoi almost cried once after he yelled at her when she was trying to get him to practice

Speaking of practice,, he doesnt attend but instead goes to the park to blow off some steam. Just laying there on the roof made him feel restless and frustrated for some reason

This went on for too long and momoi finally had enough of his bs so she practically went to smack him in the head and demand that he go ask you out

Aomine: “wtf ask y/n out?? why would i that???”

Momoi: “cUZ YOU LIKE THEM !!”

Aomine: “I do..?”

Momoi: *exasperated beyond words* 

Aomine: “oh…”

Honestly,, it took a while for him to wrap his head around the idea. He didnt think hed ever actually like like you..but it does make sense

It took even longer for him to admit hes jealous

Then came figuring out how to confess to you

he tried not to think too much bout it cuz if he did he was sure hed have zero confidence to actually do it

But he did end up overthinking it… and his confidence did indeed drop to zero

Luckily for him though, you seemed to notice the weird mood hes been in and, well, since you maybe kinda sorta had a crush on him too.. You decided to ask momoi if he was doing ok

Momoi was kinda annoyed aomine didnt confess yet but, as his wingwoman, she told you to go ask aomine himself

And so you did

The moment you asked the question aomine just went “i like you y/n”

You: 0.0?

“ummm…”

“ummmm...”

“i like you too👉👈”

And thats how you two got together:)

IN A RELATIONSHIP:

Now that you two are dating,, aomine’s not as oblivious with his jealousy anymore

When you two are out in public, he’ll always have an arm around you or your hand held tight in his

He also glares at anyone who looks at you for a second too long

Overall he’s a pretty possessive man and just doesnt like it when others are around you too much

Normally if he’s jealous, he’d just kinda drag you away to somewhere secluded and start making out with you or just make out with you right then and there

But this time,,, he couldnt do that

Why?

Because you were working on a project that was “very important” and requested that aomine “try not to disturb you too much” because “we really need to do well with this project”

That ‘we’ was apparently you and this other guy from your class that aomine didnt like one bit

He’s seen the way this guy looks at you

And it pisses him off

If he wasnt your project partner, aomine wouldve probably already punched him or smth

The first few days of you guys working on the project went okay

You two would go to the library and aomine would ditch practice to go sit with you guys

he’d pretend to sleep but hes actually just there to make sure your partner doesnt pull anything weird

But then you invited him over to your house on the weekend to finish the project 

aomine being aomine and your boyfriend invited himself over too

He was pretty disruptive and always butted in when you and your partner were discussing smth

it got pretty bad that you threatened to kick him out

he got more quiet after that but just sat there sulking

and staring daggers at your partner

anyway,, by evening you guys managed to finish the project and your partner quickly left 

Before the door could close behind him, aomine was already all over you

He pulled you into a tight hug and dragged you to the couch 

You figured he was jealous but decided not to say anything and just let him hug you

jealous aomine is pretty cute to you anyway

[rileymarie]

News of the Day

Wrote 1000 words of Charlie Dunn! They were shit but I had a blast.

Decided to keep the name Danielle Slayer - after much encouragement, realized its actually badass. Which saves me the hassle of having to redo everything, cause, no. I have to stop doing that!

Had only two brief panic attacks today instead of one really long one that lasts forever! So I’d count that as improvement.

now I’m getting a migraine in my eye, ok, great, what the hell is happening to me and why can’t i just live a normal daily life.com, that is my new domain name. yep. cool

but it could be worse i mean there’s MK Ultra slaves, ok yes, keep it in perspective Danielle. 

i was actually more focused today and got everything I wanted done by 3PM. Then my brain shut down, but that’s fine. Totally normal.

UMM So now i dont know what i’m doing, i really need a fun game to play but they all fucking suck!? oh yeah i’m downloading D&D online, I hope this is actually fun, pray for me!!! 

wish i knew wtf was happening when i get triggered/have panic attacks? it’s like i’m a super cool awesome person having a great time and then all of a sudden, it’s like, Ahahah no you’re not, you're an insane psychopath who can’t handle like, a paper cut. so that’s really quite odd. 

honesty. its great. this feels good. am i better yet? 

i mean, at least i’m snapping myself out of it A LOT quicker than before. like before i didn't even know wtf was happening. so thats like, improvement, right??

may add more to this as thoughts develop. 0.0

[torahtot]

just ignore them all be yourself, all your life you will be judged well not literally but the majority of it. so is best to just shake off the idea of pleasing others now than later. no matter what you do later or now people will still say things or do or give you looks if you dont look cis. so make yourself comfortable by making them confused. dont look for excuses either. just make yourself happy. just one last thing if you think youre not sure if you can be feminine some times, means youll need to drop butch out of it if you do plan to some times switch between fem or masc. because butch is a masculine presenting person only, that should always be protected, not altered. so if youre nonbinary whos emotions on style or look fluctuate thats normal, valid. But butch is not a style or a look, aesthetic, is a deep emotional strong personal growing passion of being masculine, an identity. If you some times feel masculine that is perfectly fine, but not if you choose butch to connect it to femininity too. in other words masc is not the same thing as butch. masculine can be used for any person a amab or afab, but butch cannot be used by a amab. another way to clear that up is what you may be looking to use to describe yourself is masculine not butch. butch is a different side of movement fighting for their own rights. masc is a widely acceptable term for every one and any one who needs to use it. hope that helped

ahh thank you so much this is so sweet 🥺😭

abt ignoring them all: my problem isn't being judged, i really don't care what cishets think of my appearance, i just can't look the way i want because of school rules and my parents' rules :/ so as a result of that i haven't really been able to try presenting different ways, and i just really don't know how i wanna present- i just know it has to not be feminine.

and abt your last point: i am a wlw girl, and i do not feel feminine ever i think, so i could potentially use butch if i decide that's right for me. ive been reading a bit about butch identity and i wouldn't keep it as an option if i was just in it for the aesthetic or if i felt at all connected to femininity.

the aesthetic actually is what i have trouble with because i know there are lots of different masculine aesthetics and different ways to look butch, what's important is to have that connection to masculinity. but i keep thinking that if i don't look and act tough im not a real butch or whatever. since im so.. not tough, idk if im considered masc enough to be butch even though i like to look and feel masc.

i think i just need to wait until i finish high school and wear what i want, then ill know if im butch or just masculine. but until then i can only figure out the internal identity stuff which is hard when u can't present right :/

sorry this answer got so long 0.0 thank you so much for the ask tho that's really kind jdjfjf