#thats crucial or some might not survive talking to me :') | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

earnestly-endlessly · 3 years

Note

Hey! I hope I'm not bothering you, I just found your blog and I love it sm, and I saw you sometimes do cherik fic recs. Do you have any Canon divergence aus/fix it, preferably after Cuba, that are 30k or longer and have a happy ending? If not thats okay! You don't have to answer this. Have a wonderful day!

Hi anon, thank you so much. I’m happy you both like my blog and my recs. You are certainly not bothering me, and feel free to send me an ask any time. I have plenty of recommendations for you. Some of them diverge a bit from your request because I couldn’t help but recommend them as well. I will put a note on those who diverge from your request. As always, I only recommend fics I have personally read and enjoyed and I sincerely you love them too.

-Canon divergence aus/fix it, post Cuba, 30k or longer, with a happy ending cherik fic recs-

Not Half As Blinding- keire_ke

Summary: Cuban beach AU. Charles discovers that death does, in fact, solve everything.

Lay down beside me (so still and so soft) – C-Gracewood

Summary: A different take on the events of the film.

Rumor Has It – blueink3

Summary: "Did I hear the doorbell earlier?"

"Yeah, but I'd steer clear if I were you. It seemed a little tense. I don't know what's going on, but there's a kid out there who looks freakily like the prof."

Nearly six months after Cuba, Charles' life is turned upside down for the second time. Though he's slowly learning to adapt to the first, he's not sure he can handle the second. Luckily for him, there are a few people out there more than willing to help.

Forward Momentum – AsYouWish

Summary: Six months after Cuba, Charles and Erik find themselves thrown fifty years into the future, where they meet their older selves, the Avengers, and a world that's very different from their own. Faced with the pieces of their broken relationship, an unparalleled adversary, and dealing with Tony Stark on a daily basis, Charles and Erik do their best to adapt while trying to find a way back home -- and to each other.

When an Unstoppable Force Meets an Immovable Optimist – ToriTC198

Summary: "You are always trying to save me, Charles." Erik mused aloud. "Ever since you dove into the ocean and dragged me out. Did it ever occur to you that I might not be worth saving?"

A genuine smile broke out on Charles' face as he brightly answered, "No, my friend, not once. I have every confidence you are well worth saving. But, I never truly believed I could save you. You are not the sort of man who someone saves. The choice to be a better man has always been yours to make and I hold no illusions that I can make that decision for you. I simply have faith that one day you will save yourself. I only hope I am still at your side to witness it."

What if Erik and Charles had been able to find a middle ground in the end?

Take the First Option – ShowMeAHero

Summary: When Erik becomes unbalanced, Emma presents him with three options: go back to Charles for three months and learn to deal with whatever he has going have going on, lose his Brotherhood, or let Emma control his mind.

He really only has one choice.

Virtue to Which We Aspire – varlovian

Summary: Nine months after Cuba, Charles is found by Erik's Brotherhood in the smoldering ruins of an abandoned CIA base, exhausted but alive. As the only known survivor of the CIA's vendetta against mutants, recovering Charles' memory of the incident—which he admits to having forgotten—just became paramount.

But the harder they push, the closer Charles gets to breaking point. When he finally cracks, the X-Men and the Brotherhood will learn the truth, but it comes with a price...

Some doors, once opened, cannot be closed.

Some minds, once broken, will never be the same again.

The Waking of the Red King – rustingroses

Summary: When Charles' heavy injuries on the Cuban beach conspire to leave him in a coma and living in fantasy of his own making, Erik, the man who once threatened to divide the mutant cause, finds himself desperately trying to hold everything together. First of the Red King trilogy.

Wake Up and Smell the Pancakes – Ayra Sei Ethari

Summary: In one universe, Erik left Charles. In another, he stayed. So what happens when the two Eriks get switched? "At first, Erik thinks he's dreaming. Then he realizes that this is Charles. Who is not paralyzed. And kissing him.

Rage and Serenity – MagickMaker, TheFangedGoblin

Summary: After Charles is shot on the beach, he is rushed to the hospital and paralysis is prevented. Ridden with guilt, Erik finds that he cannot leave him. He helps him heal, and eventually, Charles learns to trust him again. But when they set out to rescue Emma from the CIA and accept her onto their team, tensions rise. Will love keep Erik and Charles together despite their differences?

No Yesterdays on the Road – pocky_slash

Summary: It's been two months since Cuba and things are settling down for Charles, Erik, and the beginnings of their mutant school. Right up until Charles disappears, that is. Faced with the possibility that a bitter Emma Frost has kidnapped Charles, Erik is forced to team up with Moira to hunt down the remainder of the Hellfire Club. From there, they hope to locate Frost and retrieve Charles, without killing each other along the way.

(Or: Erik and Moira Drive Across the Country and Talk About Their Feelings.)

What Can We Do Without You? – SwoopSwoop

Summary: Charles and the boys were holding onto a secret more dear to them than their own lives when Charles disappears into the night; Erik is betrayed and finds himself returning to Westchester in the hopes that the government was just trying to trick him. All the while the boys are stuck in the middle, left guarding the secret from the man they are most afraid of finding out who is weaselling his way back into their lives alarmingly easily.

Note: Includes Mpreg, but don’t let that discourage you from reading it because it’s a really great fix-it.

Survival Instinct – Lindstorm

Summary: It’s been months since Charles pulled Erik out of the ocean, and Erik is beginning to wonder how many more times he can choose Charles, and still keep his vow to kill Shaw. Cooperating with the CIA is straining Erik’s patience. When a fact-gathering mission goes wrong and Charles is kidnapped, Erik is left trying to hold their mutant band together while Raven and the rest of them fall apart. No one can foresee how the mutant Charles meets in captivity will challenge all his assumptions about his own power, and twist Charles’ telepathy out of his control. In the race to stop Shaw's nuclear ambitions from coming to fruition, Charles makes a crucial misstep. Erik’s decision between Shaw and Charles takes on unexpected ramifications when [spoiler deleted].

Needles (Series) – Skull_Bearer

Summary: AU where everyone's born Dominant or Submissive

Once a Dominant and Submissive pair is born, they are linked to each other, no matter how far apart they are. This link doesn't actually tell the Dom or the Sub each other's thoughts, but it does allow them to know how the other's doing and serves as a reassurance that there's someone meant for them out there.

Another one of the reasons that Erik hates Shaw so badly is because Shaw managed to break Erik's link to his Sub. Now Erik doesn't even know if his Sub's alive because breaking a link like that can kill a Submissive.

Meanwhile, Charles hates himself for not yet having telepathy strong enough to contact and help his Dom, especially after feeling the pain his Dom was forced to go through. He truly believes that his Dominant is dead. Hopes it, some nights when he remembers how his Dom was forced to suffer. It's better than to think of his Dom still being forced to bear that pain.

And then Charles pulls Erik from the water

Time to Grow – zarah5

Summary: In which you'll find chess dates which aren't dates (or maybe Charles is wrong about that). -- Based on First Class, this turns (slightly) AU during the beach scene.

Note: This fic is less than 30k words but it’s such a fandom classic and just a great read if you love your fix-its.

Faults for Fixing – beren

Summary: Charles sees the events of the missile crisis and subsequent weeks when he uses Cerebro to touch the mind of a mutant with the power to see the near future. When he wakes up he is determined that he will not allow them to happen and he will not lose the people he loves.

Note: A bit less than 30k words long but another great read.

It’s like one of us woke up – kaydeefalls

Summary: "You came here for me," Charles said, meeting Shaw's gaze levelly. "So let's not waste any more time."

Canon!AU in which Charles and Erik do find Shaw in Russia.

Note: XMFC fix it, but the events in Cuba don’t happen.

Afterlife – Anna (arctic_grey)

Summary: A year after Washington, Erik wakes up in excruciating pain as sudden awareness washes over him: Charles is dead. Erik has to adjust to yet another future: no extinction, just a world without Charles. But the death of his former friend leaves Erik weak and his powers drained. His quest for answers leads him back to Westchester, where Erik has to face his past with Charles and put together the puzzle pieces of what happened to the man he once cared for.

The Burdens We Long to Carry – arcapelago (arcanewinter)

Summary: When mutant-supporter and ally President Kennedy is assassinated and all pro-mutant progress is dismantled, Charles is no longer so confident that he's on the right side, and extends his hand to Erik after a year of animosity. They settle tentatively into their old partnership, but not everything is the same as it was--and not everything can be. When Hank develops a metal frame to move the lower half of Charles' body for him if he wants it, Erik offers the use of his mind and his ability in order to make it work. Both find out what they're willing to do for each other, and neither knows if it'll be enough to keep them together.

Other Futures Than These – midrashic

Summary: In which Cuba doesn't break them apart, but that doesn't mean that their futures are tied together. (Except that it does.)

A Days of Future Past AU where only one person can defeat the Sentinels and save the future: the man whose imprisonment and torture created them, and Charles Xavier's ex.

The Winter of Banked Fires – Yahtzee

Summary: Charles Xavier has returned from the dead -- but is lost within his own mind. Rogue has cast aside her own power and doesn't know where she fits in the world any longer. The production of synthetic Cure means mutantkind itself is newly at risk. And Magneto, turned human against his will, is in despair until the day he feels a familiar consciousness tugging at his own --

Set after X-3 (with much desperate fix-it applied), during XMFC, and every time in between.

#cherik #cherik fic recs #asks #earnestly answers #for some reason Tumblr refuses to post my entire answer #feel free to ask me whenever you want anon #I really love making these lists

161 notes · View notes

jjfics · 4 years

Text

On The Run | 01

ship: Five Hargreeves x Female!Reader

summary: The Hargreeves have to leave the Academy behind and run away to Dallas, Texas. The Reader is a lot more anxious than Five and thats understandable, but they need to focus.

series: read part 2 here

author: jane jack aka your girl jjfics

words: 1950

warnings: mentions of blood, death and murder, (feelings of uncertainty and anxiety, flashbacks) and lots of angssst (why do i love writing angst thoughh??)

a/n: there will definitely be a part 2 so keep those notifications in checkk

It felt as if you could read everyone else’s thoughts through the silence. The car kept moving at a fast speed as you passed cities and villages. From time to time you would worry Five was going to lose control of the car, but he never even flinched.

He just looked at the road before you; stress and worry were clear in his eyes. There was so much he needed to figure out. Who were you going to be from now on? And him? And his siblings? Were you going to hide forever?

“Five” you whispered. He didn’t hear you. Or maybe he did and he chose to ignore you. “Five” you said again, this time catching his attention.

He turned to look at you for a moment and then he focused on the road again.“What?”

“Can we stop for 5 minutes at the next gas station, please? I have to wash my hands.” you said quietly looking down.

He pursed his lips before he spoke again. “No.” Five was just being direct. The more time it took you to get to Dallas, the more vulnerable you became.

Dallas…

You fell through the vortex a couple of months before Five arrived. With no idea where the others went or how to find them, it was really just you, all alone. You were the last one Elliot took a picture of before the chaos of the second apocalypse began. The alley was strange, and so were the people. Everything was different here. You were disoriented and scared. According to the confused strangers when you asked them the date, you were somewhere way before your birth.

First thing you realise when you don’t even have a home anymore is that you need money. It can be so crucial. But how will you, a nobody in the 60s, survive if all you knew how to do, was sing? Music was how you met your best friend Vanya for the first time: at an audition. And after that followed the concerts. The public loved the two of you.

So you did what you did best.

One day, while walking aimlessly on the busy streets, searching for a place selling cheap food, you started singing your favourite song. A song no one around had ever heard, a song you danced to with Five once. People started to gather around you and listen as you went on. This was it, this is where you were in your element. Your father forced you to take singing lessons when you were four. You didn’t enjoy it at first, but you grew up to love it. People clapped and left you money before going on about their day. So you ended up spending the entire day there. By nightfall you had been given enough money for the whole week.

You were leaning on a cold brick wall and eating a sandwich when you saw someone drop a newspaper. Curiously, you grabbed it and were shocked by the headline.

“Young woman sings in front of a bakery stealing every Texan’s heart. Who is the mysterious singer to whom many would empty their pockets for a show?

You had been living in an apartment above The Rosemary Club, the place you worked at now. You sang almost every night and earned a lot of money and visitors for your boss, so he let you stay there.

One night, you had a special visitor. He wasn’t there to see you specifically; he was working, just like you. Luther went everywhere his boss went, he was his bodyguard. You made eye contact a couple of times but never spoke on that evening. You couldn’t even look at him without cringing away. Not after what he did to Vanya. Five might say that she’s the bomb, but in your mind, that bomb was pretty much activated by Luther.He tried to talk to you but you avoided him as much as possible.

“y/n! Wait, stop running away, God!”

“What do you want, Luther?” you gave him a cold look.

“To talk to you? Isn’t that what normal people do after they haven’t seen each other for a long time?” he asks.

“I don’t want to talk to you.” you said and ordered a drink.

“Jesus, y/n, what's wrong with you?”

“Do I have to remind you that we’re here because of you?”

“Because of me? What do you mean, didn’t you see how Vanya literally destroyed the M-”

“Shut up. I don’t care.” you cut him off. “Have you met anyone else besides me, you stalker?”

“No.” he admitted. ”I tried searching for Allison but they haven’t found her yet.”

“Right. Amazing. Five? No news about him either?” His expression softens. He knew about your relationship with Five, and how much you two meant for each other.

“No, I’m really sorry. I don’t know where he is…” his voice only getting smaller when he saw the disappointment in your eyes.

You looked up from your drink and to the big man next you. “Then you can leave. I have to go get dressed.” You put your glass on the counter and left.

Your days in Dallas were easy. Life was always the same and you knew what to expect. Sometimes Luther and his boss would show up at the club and you would ignore each other. You sang, you were introduced to some people and you would make small talk with the bartender. Day after day, always missing your friends. Missing 2019. Missing Five. Your life was easy, but you were alone for the most part. You missed cuddling with Five before you went to sleep together and then waking up in his arms. You missed how he would come and pick you up after practise. How he would kiss you after every concert and tell you how proud he was of you. You missed him truly.

The bow to the public mixed with a charismatic smile and a wave was how you always ended a good show. Walking off stage you rolled your eyes when you saw who came towards you.

“There’s someone who would like to talk to you.” he said with a stupid smile planted on his face.

“I’m on break.” you tried to walk away. Luther grabbed your arm and spun you around so you would be facing him again. “Hey! What are you doing? Back off!”

“Believe me, y/n, you really should go talk to him”

You eyed him suspiciously. “Well alright then.” you said sarcastically. “But keep your hands to yourself.”

“Yeah, right, sorry.” he said and stepped to the side . “Come with me, he’s waiting outside.” he babbled before leading you to the main entrance of the club, one which neither of you used. This all seemed sketchy. If he was trying to kidnap you, I’d be no surprise.

The air outside was cooler than usual. You crossed your arms and huffed.

And then you saw him. Right there, alive and in front of you. He was well. He survived.

He was still wearing his uniform, which was clean. He must've just arrived.

You ran to him as fast your red heels allowed you to and he met you with a warm embrace. He still smelled exactly like himself. A day to him, months for you. Is this what it felt like for him when he was stuck in the future? You hugged him tight and inhaled his scent deeply trying to forget all these nights you cried, hoping he would come through the door and hug you. Hoping he would materialize in front of you like he did for his father’s funeral.

The man still looked young, but you knew damn well who he was. He wasn’t someone you’d forget that easily. Finally, he was here, with you.

He pulled away and it almost pained you. It was crazy, of course, to think that after all this time you’d lose him again, but even as much as moving an inch scared you now that he was right here.

“y/n.”

“Five”

Your lips melted together in the most awaited kiss of the century. Of all time maybe. His hands glued themselves to your waist again and you saw him perfectly in the dim light of the alley.

Your eyes were empty. You wanted to wipe your hands but the blood on them had dried already.

“Five, please I need to wash my hands. I need to- I- I have to wash it all away- Please”

He hated that he had to hear you beg and yet he couldn't stop. It’s for her own safety, it’s for our safety, he would think.

“y/n we can’t stop now. Even 5 minutes could mean our deaths right now. Please understand”

And you wanted to understand. You wanted to stay calm just like the rest, but they were trained. They’ve done such things before. You however, didn’t. Everytime you looked at your lap you saw her again. Laying there, lifeless. You saw the knife as it fell from your hands, making an awful sound when it hit the floor. Maybe if you’d wash them, the flashbacks would stop.

“Please, I can’t. I can’t do it. I can’t be like this. This is not- It’s not-”

Your breath was uncontrolled. Everytime you closed your eyes, you saw her again. Everytime you would inhale, she would exhale for the last time, again, and again, and again. You were fully sobbing now.

Vanya’s hand softly touched your shoulder from the back seat and you flinched. “Shh, it’s just me” she cooed “It’s just me”

You tried to relax a bit and then spoke again, hoping to get it right this time.

“I’m a bad person, Five. I just killed an innocent woman and… and I have her blood all over my hands.” you looked at him to find he was already looking at you. Guilt and regret were visible on his face. “I’m a killer, Five.” you wept.

He reached your cheek with one hand and wiped your tears away. “She wasn’t innocent” he stated. “She’s killed many people.”

“That doesn’t mean I’m any less of a killer”

“Well, then. I’m a killer too. More or less than my siblings here. So we are all on the same team.” he spoke calmly, as if the Hargreeves discussed murder at the dinner table every evening. Thinking about it twice there’s a big chance they did, when the old man was still alive at least.

“But you killed to survive, Five. You had to. I didn’t but she’s dead now.”

He huffed in annoyance. She’s not used to this. Take it slowly, he thought.

“You had to, too, y/n. It was self defence. If it wasn’t her then… well then let’s not think about it” he finished. Then I would be the one dead, you added, but only in your head because you knew how much he hated thinking about anything bad happening to you. He wanted you safe. You wanted him safe.

“Okay then. But as soon as we’re in Dallas we’ll stop and get new clothes.” you started to come back to your senses again. Right. You need to get to the city and find a way to trick the Commision. Or maybe you needed to hide. Or just freshen up and get on the road again. You didn’t know exactly what you were going to do, but if anyone found the map Diego was holding in his lap right now, they’d know exactly what your first stop was going to be. The Rosemary Club.

#five hargreeves #five hargreeves x reader #five hargreeves imagine #five imagine #five x reader #number five fanfic #number five x reader #number five imagine #number five #tua imagine #tua fanfiction #tua fanfic #tua fandom #the umbrella academy #the umbrella academy imagine

203 notes · View notes

catsundercherryblossoms · 5 years

Text

|Ch. 15: The Dead Should Be At Peace| Her Forgotten Past //Attack on Titan Fanfiction

"Does it hurt? It's okay to show weakness, Jo."

I barely acknowledged Jean's voice. I was out of touch with the world. My mind needed a break after all that I've survived so far. And that's just in the span of seven hours. The day wasn't over yet.

Jean frowned at my stubbornness. He dampened the cotton swab with some more alcohol and pressed it to the wound on my head. It stung and burned like hell, but it was oddly comforting. Maybe because I was so numb emotionally... It felt good to at least feel something.

So here we were. The remaining ones. The survivors. We had left the forest and traveled on horse as far away as possible to outrun any titans behind us. When the area was clear, we made a rest stop here in an open field. Some soldiers fed the horses, others were getting medical attention (like myself), and others helped load the dead bodies onto wagons. Those were the brave ones. You could see it in their faces as they arranged the cadavers in neat stacks, that this haunting experience would keep them up at night.

It would keep all of us up at night.

Jean finished bandaging my head with long strips of gauze. It felt tight and uncomfortable, but I guess if I wanted to get better this would have to do. He left, saying something along the lines of "get you some water", and I stayed in the same spot, not unwilling to move, but instead lacking the energy.

"You alright, soldier?"

I snapped out of my trance and noticed Commander Erwin and Levi standing in front of me. Their solemn stares displayed a hint of concern for the first time ever. Just a hint. Well, mostly the Commander. Not so much Levi.

"Peachy." I replied tonelessly. Looking down, I saw Corporal Levi had a brace on his ankle. I quickly looked away before he noticed that I noticed, unsure of how to address the elephant in the room. When should I apologize? And how? There was no sugarcoating it... I was the reason he got injured. I knew it all too well.

"I simply thought you should know how grateful we are. You and Corporal Levi are the reason we have Eren safe and alive. Good work, miss Archer." He smiled curtly as if to part ways.

I nodded, unsure how to accept this recognition. Some would feel honored. Me, though? Well yeah, I guess its nice. But completely unnecessary. I only did what any other soldier would’ve done.

I watched them walk off. Once they reached a safe distance, Commander Erwin whispered something to Corporal Levi. The shorter man shook his head in response. Their whole manner... something about it was suspicious. Or maybe I’m just reading into things too much.

Whatever.

A while later, Jean came back with some water. "Feeling any better?"

"They died right in front of me, Jean." I said, the flashbacks of squad Levi invading my mind out of nowhere. I remembered the way the blood splattered over the bark when the female titan kicked Petra into that tree, and I had to close my eyes to shake the image away.

Jean struggled to find a way to comfort me. But I didn't want comfort. I wanted justice. No, even better... I wanted revenge. "You did everything in your ability." He said morosely.

"I could've done better." I said sharply. My hands clenched on the edge of the empty wagon I sat on. I truly wondered if I would ever sleep, knowing I could've saved them if I had just tried harder. Maybe if I had attacked differently- used a different strategy- I don't know, something.

Jean offered me the water. I shook my head. "C'mon, Jo." He said, a little annoyed. "You can't do this to yourself. Just because other people have died doesn't mean you get to lose all common sense. You need to stay hydrated."

"I'm fine." I insisted and stood up, marching right past him.

We gathered the horses and saddled them up again. The Commander did a final visual sweep to make sure everything was in check and then gave the signal to proceed. We rode on, this time a little more easygoing with the formation. I stayed on pace with the wagon Eren was in, wanting to keep an eye on him. He was out cold. But maybe it was better this way. If he slept the whole journey, then at least he would able to grieve comfortably in headquarters without having to see the great number of bodies accompanying us on the ride.

I sighed and looked up at the periwinkle sky. Inside the walls, people- lucky people who have never seen titans- look up and think, "what a beautiful day". But out here... we look up and the simple beauty of it feels like mockery. Fake. An absurd contrast from all the horror we've been exposed to.

And yet... its the same sky. Just different perspectives.

"TITAN!"

I snapped out of my thoughts and turned to look over my shoulder. My mouth opened in shock. Two abnormals, giant ones might I add, probably no less than 15 meters, were running up to us. Where did they come from? I squinted as the wind whipped my hair in my face. I saw two men on horses trying desperately to catch up to us, yelling at us to slow down. Every step the titans took was a step dangerously close to squashing them out of existence.

Then I noticed the limp body one of the men had slung over his shoulder.

I cringed and groaned. 'They went back for their dead friend...' As touching as it was, it angered me that they failed to see the mistake in their decision. Now everyone was in peril.

"PICK UP SPEED!" Commander Erwin ordered, the worry on his face clear as day.

I caught up with Corporal Levi and the wagon holding the bodies. "What do we do?"

But he was wondering the same thing. He gritted his teeth, clenching the reigns like they would provide him the answer. Crucial seconds passed us by. The titans only got closer and closer.

"I'll get behind them!" One of the soldiers in the corpse wagon said. He turned to his comrade, "You distract them, and then we'll-"

"No." Corporal Levi interrupted. His gaze was cold. "Just dump the bodies."

I couldn't believe what he was saying. "What? No!" I then looked back, hearing a scream, and saw that one of the men was dead. It was just the man carrying his friend's dead body now.

"The titans will reach us. Abandon the bodies, or else."

I scrutinized him, "No! What is wrong with you? These bodies have to return to their families! We can't just-"

"Many bodies haven't made it back in past expeditions. There's nothing special about these." He cut me off.

How... his own squad. His own squad were amongst those bodies. How could he speak of them that way? Impulse took over me. I wielded my blades. The shing! of the metal caught the Corporal's attention and his head snapped to look at me, beady eyes narrowing as he realized what I intended to do.

"I order you to fall back!"

I swung my other leg over the saddle, ready to jump off the horse.

"Johanna, don't you dare- JOHANNA!" I felt him grab my hood right as I jumped. But he was too late. The whole cloak unclasped and I dropped to the ground, rolling one or two times and stumbling onto my feet again. No offense, Corporal... You may be too injured to fight these monsters, but I'm not. The dead should be at peace. They shouldn't be treated inhumanely even in their lifeless state.

I've got it under control. I wasn't sure who I was trying to convince, myself or the others.

Several people shouted my name but I continued charging on foot towards the titans. When I reached a suitable distance, I shot my grappling hook onto the first titan's shoulder. The wind whistled in my ears as I gyrated through the air. This one was a crazy one. It spazzed and reached hungrily for me like he was trying to capture a fly. But I was too quick. Before it could even screech in pain, it was dead on the ground, the chunk of flesh missing from its neck. I moved on to the next one. The remaining man was closer than ever to getting the life trampled out of him. I hurried as much as I could, shooting another hook and running up the side of the second titan. Thats when I felt the titan stumble like its ginormous feet had stepped on something. Oh no... I looked down and saw the man was still alive, inching away significantly faster on his horse. But how?

The body, I realized in a millisecond, he let it go.

I brought down my blade, killing the titan easily. Blood showered my uniform. I wiped it off my face and as the titan started to fall, I jumped off and flew over to the man on his frantic galloping horse, landing somewhat shakily in the saddle. We would have to share until we reached the walls.

"Th-Thank you!" He said, sounding choked. The tears of losing not one, but now both his friends rolled thickly down his cheeks.

I pursed my lips, feeling pity for him but not knowing how to express it. "We're not safe until we get to the walls. Focus on catching up with the others." was all I could say.

* * *

In the wagon, I tried my best to comfort Eren. The feeling of his hand in mine; warm and slightly rougher than my own; was a feeling I wish I could hold onto forever. As we entered the walls, townspeople gathered around us at the gates. Their faces were sour and disappointed. Many tried to ask the Commander questions as he lead the way. Stuff like "was it worth our tax money?", "was this expedition a failure?", and "where is my son? I can't see him, please! Is he alive?". A couple people even had the nerve to shout curse words at us and call us despicable names.

So this is what its like to be a Survey Corps soldier. The whole world turns on you in the blink of an eye. If we're humanity's so called saviors, fighting for freedom everyday, then why do we feel like such a burden?

We arrived at the headquarters. Nobody talked. In silence we accommodated the horses in the stalls, unloaded the wagons, and put away our ODM gear. The whole time as I helped out here and there, I was painfully aware of someone watching me. Glaring. And I would be lying if I said I had no clue who it was (Corporal Levi, big surprise). But nevertheless, I continued on minding my own business, choosing to help the medical team put away the medical supplies.

One hour later, while there was still lots to do, I was rudely interrupted.

"Archer! Get over here."

I scowled at the sound of that cutthroat voice. Other soldiers looked up. Their expressions were not of curiosity, but instead of fright. They knew something bad was about to happen. No good ever came out of that tone. Especially when the Corporal used it to address you directly.

But me? I couldn't care less.

I turned and strode up to him nonchalantly.

He narrowed his eyes once I parked myself in front of him. I folded my arms and waited like I had all the time in the world.

He finally spoke, although it sounded more like a snarl. "Twice you disobeyed me. Twice in one day. And both times you put yourself in danger. Why did you not follow my commands?"

I gave him no reply. Only a dull, defiant stare.

Then it happened. But before it actually came to be, I noticed something interesting. It was so quick it could only be captured in a freeze frame. His eyes... they changed, wrung with what I could only describe as an apology. Apologetic? Ha! I didn't think he had it in him. What could he possibly be apologetic for?

Ah... Of course.

He slapped me. Several gasps arose from the others and I winced the second his hand made contact with the side of my face. Wildfire spread across the afflicted area. I even stumbled a little from the force.

Eren looked appalled. He was ready to fight, but Armin held him back. "What the hell was that for?"

"Shut up! Everyone, get back to work! This isn't fucking entertainment. Report to your duties!" Corporal Levi barked at them.

I stood rooted to the spot, head turned to the side as the stinging on my cheek flared. Embarrassment and indignation mixed together inside of me. It was a deadly combination. But overall, I was shocked. I didn't know how to react at all. I simply stood there, trying to contain these mixed emotions, unsure of what to do. I had just been physically reprimanded by my superior in front of everyone.

Have to admit... I didn't see this one coming.

"Look at me."

Hmmmm, how about... no. The smallest act of defiance I could do now was face away and make no eye contact whatsoever. Call me a stubborn mule or whatever, but I wasn't going down easily.

Fed up, he grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him straight. "Listen up and listen well, you are a subordinate. Understood? A subordinate. What you did today was reckless. From now on you will follow every command I give you, and you will work with your comrades as a team to ensure everyone's safety. You hear that? As a team. Now, disobey me like that again, and so God help me I will drop-kick your ass off Wall Rose myself. IS THAT CLEAR?"

I stared back at him, wearing the most steely expression I could manage. He obviously wasn't going to let me go until I gave a confirmation. As if public humiliation wasn't enough. Now I have to accept defeat?

It took all of my strength just to choke out that one word. "Crystal." It left a bitter taste in my mouth.

He glared at me a few seconds longer, contemplating, and then his eyes landed on the red mark on my cheek. And suddenly, it was there again. That same look from before. It was startling enough for any sort of emotion to be showcased on the Corporal's face, especially one like this one. So apologetic... so remorseful... but why?

He let go of my chin and snapped back to his usual self. "You are dismissed."

My gaze was pure venom as I walked off, brushing past his shoulder on purpose. I was halfway towards the HQ building when I heard his voice again.

"And Johanna..." I looked back to see him still standing there, his back facing me, staring moodily into the distance.

"Make sure you get some ice for that."

End of Chapter 15

7 notes · View notes

survivorreelsmagicwithin · 4 years

Text

Episode 7- “#MarshmallowMoves”-Landen

I can't tell if I'm in trouble or not. They voted out Nick, which is something I really really didn't want to happen. Kevin is acting strangely towards me. The only person I feel like who is being genuine with me right now is Dan. I'm not sure if I should keep pretending that everything is fine, but I'm pretending that the last vote didn't bother me.

1 hour and 33 minutes later

I hope the relationships I made before that disaster of a vote are real still. That's all I'm hoping.

Today's immunity challenge is a luck challenge. There is no way to be "good" at rock-paper-scissors unless you are playing real-time. For this reason I have chosen to use random.org for all of my guesses. I hope that luck is on my side with my matchup. Also, I went to Potions Class today and looked in some cauldrons. No potions left behind. Thinking I will try luck potion tomorrow. Hopefully I'll be lucky and get an idol. Probably not.

YAYYYYY! Another week with no tribal and I am very thankful because the one we had was wild and I don't have to deal with anything like that again for AWHILE! I should be staying up to search right now but I am about to head to bed and then make my search time earlier for tomorrow, woohoo! I feel like after tribal something like a merge might happen?? maybe? I feel like it should be about time!

so Hufflepuff won (YET AGAIN!) and I'm feeling pretty great about that! there's not much to discuss about the actual events on this tribe, it's pretty much same old same old positioning. like stale cardboard! however, we got an exciting little hint of something at the immunity challenge today. it seems like there's going to be something coming up after tribal tonight, and particularly, i would guess that it will be a merge. of course i could be wrong and we could be thrust into another swap (a horrible outcome, really) but i'm hoping it's a merge. i've had a lot of paranoia about what would happen during a merge ever since the messy Jess rocks vote, so i just am excited to get it over and done with!! that being said i'm also not just like, throwing myself to the wolves of fate or something. i've also been doing planning ahead and thinking about the merge. specifically, i'm trying to calculate where numbers might go. right now, we have a group that is configured like this: -5 hufflepuff -4 Ravenclaw -3 Gryffindor -1 Slytherin (i know, crazy... and it's my least favorite one. UGH!) obviously, this puts a liiiiittle eensie teensie tiny target on the hufflepuffs' back, now doesnt it? and that's not very cute for me, someone who is very much IN hufflepuff - has had no time to form the strong relationships that kevin has with the other side - has burned the 1 ravenclaw and probably 1 of the gryffindors here on this tribe - and hasn't done any looking for spells! no, no, thats not very bueno at all, i'd say. of course, everything could be shaken up if kevin is taken out, but i'm not expecting that. it'll probably be a jacob or autumn boot.. i'm praying for a jacob boot but who knows. honestly just taking out that wildcard, one who is very fitting to his house mascot as a snake, that's something that would be VERY appreciated. i know i can't trust him after our experience in 2020 and it's not just bc i hold a grudge it's because i know the type of player he is, and that's not a type of player i can work well with in this game. Anyway, this brings us into the question of what the hell i am going to do to survive at the merge, and honestly, i have no fuckin clue. the good news is i do not think juls would be on board with a plan to vote me out, or at least she would do her best to vouch for me. as soon as we merge my sights will be set on autumn, too. i need to secure her loyalty and form a strong friendship with her, she's always seemed like a cool person and i wanted to do it anyway, but knowing i need to have her and juls on my side, makes this bond even more crucial. The bad news is Owen on this tribe, is a VERY dangerous player, will come into the merge with an army of 3 strong fellow Ravenclaw, and, last but definitely not least concerning - he comes into the merge with a strong relationship with Ruthie. This is VERY bad for me, because I know that if Owen decides to get Ravenclaw to target Hufflepuff and for some reason the Gryffindors (or potentially Jacob, if Autumn gets targeted, or even worse, Jacob AND autumn if Kevin goes home), he won't be going for Ruthie. If he's not going for Ruthie, he's not going to go for Lily, not to mention I highly doubt the Gryffs will go for her anyway because she's so lovable. Having Lily as my closest ally is a risk/reward, because when I enter the final rounds like 8, 7, 6, etc, she will be a HUGE shield for me and someone that will take off a lot of the heat on my name. But i need to get there, and that means i can't get taken out for being an extra vote for her during the early stages of the merge, i have to find my own way to survive. There is always the possibility they would target Max, but I have to be VERY careful in just assuming this, because i also know Max is probably going to look like a tempting goat to most people. he's not very great socially (at least individually) and he's not very active with his mom kinda grounding him all the time, like he just looks like an OTT goof and he'll probably come across as easy to manipulate once his ally Landen gets blindsided! I'm very worried that'll be the perception. So i need to start taking action now to make sure this early merge doesn't go down a dark path i see as a possibility. Step 1. Owen and Ruthie, Today. This is CRUCIAL. I am going to talk to Owen about game today whether he likes it or not, I'm going to drag it out of him and i'm going to fight like hell to get him to trust me even a little bit. I know I can be a good social player and I KNOW i can talk convincing game, but I also know Owen is very good at social skills and reading me so it's going to be a bit of a cagey death match with this one. I need to make sure Owen feels good about me moving forward into the merge and that I can "repent for my Sins" so to speak after basically throwing him up for crucifixion during the Jess boot round. If I can get owen into the idea of possibly an alliance of me, him, and ruthie, then maaaaybe i could protect myself a bit from him. perhaps i could also very subtly hint that lily is the one that's been coming after him harder than i have, i have to be careful with that because if it gets back to her i'm fucked, so i'll keep an eye out on the conversation and see how the tide's going and if it's worth hinting at. i also need to discuss with Ruthie and figure out what her other pregame relationships are, and see where we can get ins. I know being honest and open game talk with Ruthie earlier is what got her trusting me a bit more, so I want to just expand on some of the personal stuff I've been building on with her in the past couple days and just really start hitting the game talk home. Step 2. Max and Chips. If i can drive this wedge further, it would be faaanfuckintastic. I need to re-iterate to people that I DONT got Max's back. If people start pushing the narrative of me and max as a thing, or me as a hufflepuff strong person just because of the jess round, i'm screwed. so i'm going to have to be very careful to Make sure everyone knows exactly how willing I was to cut Max. When i get to the merge, the FIRST thing i'm going to do is literally have like, an hours long call with Kevin. I want to establish to him that i'm his extra number, his goat, his whatever he needs. I want to tell him how i was ready to sacrifice Max, i want him to give me ALL the details. Of course if Kevin goes home before the merge this is going to be a million times more difficult and so that brings me to Chips, my key plan today besides working on Owen is going to be to work on Chips. I don't want to give Chips too many promises I don't plan to keep because I don't see myself working with him super long-term, but I do want to Get a better read on him. Right now Chips is just an enigma to me and I need to get into his head, maybe at least get him to open up a *little* bit more, bc our game relationship right now is just a mess, he's so hard to talk to about these strategic things at times, even before the jess boot but especially after. as far as the other people go, the ones i didn't mention - owen's ravenclaw buddies, joanna, jules, and dan - who's to say they're even really tight with owen! I'll be curious to meet them, specifically Jules is someone that strikes me as someone I'd get along with. I also see a lot of potential for me to get along with Dan but we'll have to see on that one. I'm going to try to work on my relationships with Ravenclaw once I hit the merge too, but I'm gonna be careful because if I come on too strong, they'll consider me even more of a threat and that'll give them more of a reason to target me instead of Lily or Max. i know i'm in a precarious position and that's not even to mention spells, but I'm really trying to think over every angle here, and i think with some luck on my side and hopefully, some Kevin on my side, i can utilize kevin, lily, juls, and max as tight shields for my game, and continue working my way through the middle to make it alllll the way to the end. #MarshmallowMoves. i know this was an ESSAY so thanks for sticking it through. i really hope i don't write all this for nothing, because i'm starting to get excited that the big leagues are almost here, it's finally time for me to stop winning immunity every single round and actually experience the game, and i would hate for it to get cut short so soon. Game on wizards, cus this honey badger DONT care! >:D *flashes my claws but not in a furry way* haha thanks. bye ^_^ <3

So..... once again, I lost a BEST FRIend to ROCKS! I swear I’ve got some kind of curse. Every time people have gone to rocks for me in games, it’s always my closest ally that leaves. And this time is no different :( I’m so sad Jess is gone, but I know she’s rooting for me, and that’s what will get me through this. I know I should’ve known better than to leak everything Ruthie said but I really trusted that juls chips and jess would act in their best interest. Apparently it was Landen who told Ruthie..... so I dont know. Maybe I accidentally told Landen the things Ruthie told me!? Or maybe someone else threw me under the bus. Either way, all bets are off now. I want to get to a merge with dan Jules and Joanna and paint a huge ass target on these hufflepuff nerds. I’m boutta hex the shit out of those four til they’re all out of this game. I WILL! Get my revenge for jess. But to do that it’s basically about winning challenges to merge which thankfully we have done. People tried hard on the music video thankfully and then we got lucky with attack defend balance. All I can hope is we MERGE NEXT!!! There’s a bounty on my head and if we don’t merge soon I’m heading to Azkaban :(

I’m soOoOoOoOoOoOo paranoid! I feel like it would be such a good move to get me out this round because I’ve been so loose with my powers. I feel like all it will take is for Jules to want jacob here more than me, tell everyone about my powers, and then have everyone vote for me!!!! Do I just waste powers tonight to make sure that doesn’t happen? Maybe.

I think jacobs going home :c which is so sad but he’s not really trying, it’s really quiet tho so anything could happen, joanna might still be upset I lied last round and flip things on me who knows !!

Maybe Jacob is actually going home this time? Idk, last time they said Jacob and Nick went home so who knows what these people are telling me.

The good news I pulled off the Nicholas vote. The bad news is we're back at tribal but are we even surprised lmao https://media.giphy.com/media/l4pTsh45Dg7jnDM6Q/giphy.gif the tea is I'm mad but I'm not pissed because I only want people who are down for the cause. It's gonna be all hands on deck once we hit merge and I don't have time for any disloyal non-Hufflepuff people. So Gryffindor constantly losing really means Owen, Chips, and Juls will actually live to see merge, all three of whom I know will join the coalition. Nicholas and Jacob on the other hand would probably link up with Hufflepuff and that's what I don't need. So if we merge tonight, it's a 7-5 breakdown with Hufflepuff being outnumbered. Mind you that depends on everyone in that 7 cooperating with each other but let's be optimistic and assume that everyone recognizes ALL of Hufflepuff is still in the game. And if you ain't Hufflepuff, you can and will get snuffed so don't fall for the hype at merge and any member of Gryffinclaw who does is dead to me. Ok now Imma need y'all to go ahead and merge us thanks

IT BETTER BE MERGE!!!! IT BETTER BE MERGE~!!!!!!

I can't remember if I wrote one of these or not this round so here is another... Things are quiet on the Hufflepuff tribe and I'm nervous about the swap that i think is about to happen!! It has been kind of quiet today. I've talked to Owen a lot and Landen, Lily and Juls a little today. Being safe is nice but it will be fun to start competing for things individually. If we do merge I am excited to maybe work with Dan. I want to be on his good side, lol, but he is a good player and I feel like if he doesn't go home tonight he and Owen will single handedly win every individual immunity.

We won the random.org immunity! I think we will likely merge now that numbers are low enough. You can not find an idol by brewing luck potion. You suck at brewing potions. Duh!

Y’all I’m fucking screaming!!!! I found a third power lmao. I’m gooped! I found the riddikulus charm or something and I had to play a fake advantage at a tribal in order to power it up and I used Raffy’s rat ass to make it happen! I’m not sure what my power is rn but I’ll add it to my vote steal and my idol 😌

0 notes

bigbrotherfiore · 4 years

Photo

episode four: “power gets you got, so i just need to survive” - elise

hoh: rich

evicted: brianna

AMANDA: https://youtu.be/YnRbNjQQLns

AMANDA: https://youtu.be/Xs-EwM8N1e4

AMANDA: https://youtu.be/LBES8nSlqN8

RICH: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Oxy39TIAllP-l-lh_xgrqva8So7r-tK0/view?usp=drivesdk

AMANDA: https://youtu.be/QbtU7qP1eBI

AMANDA: https://youtu.be/LBES8nSlqN8

AMANDA: https://youtu.be/_XB2DbrrIY8

MIKKI: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sop4L3aZOWU

MIKKI: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoshRaBKm80&feature=youtu.be

MIKKI: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZNAeadCgZc

MIKKI: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lh_vEZFbNgU

MIKKI: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqLb_hymcZw

SZYMON: https://youtu.be/KlJC100xcQM

AMANDA: https://youtu.be/jgNo5u4oN3s

i’m super nervous after the jared eviction. i don’t want to win hoh but i’m also scared rich or daly will win or even mazden could win. i just want brianna or sara or elise or mikki or lana or jakey to get it because those are the people i trust the most but if i got it SOMEHOW since i did not write any useful information i would probably put up mazden and rich because i talk to him the least and i feel like he’s super shady. i don’t know. maybe not mazden but i don’t know i’m SCARED i’m terrified

I literally only talk to him about what we eat in a day sooooooooo anyways

THE MARCHING BAND JUST DID THAT. We have now won 3/4 HOH Competitions this season!!!

ok so rich wants to work together now that jared is gone. i love jared from the bottom of my heart but fuck it might benefit me now that he's gone and there aren't rumours. hes gonna nom potentially lana and brianna, unfortunate for me because nfps but she might win veto again. also people know im close with mikki, gotta stop stanning taylor swift in the VC clearly... thats all rn because im slacking on these and i cba to record

I can honestly say that I have not felt nervous at all in this game to date. I won the first HOH, Sara won HOH #2, Szymon won HOH #3, and Rich just won tonight's HOH. Obviously Sara and Rich are in The Marching Band Alliance and Szymon and I have a tight duo alliance so it is really nice to just sit back and relax 1/4 into the game. I also think I have been able to lay low after my 1st HOH run and allow other targets to begin to emerge! HAHA I love this game!

So Addilyn connected the dots that me and Daly are both from Manitoba and that kinda scares me. She is the only one besides Sara who would know how close we live because she also happens to be from Canada as well... Hopefully she doesn't catch on too well and pin us as a duo

im so fucked i'm literally so fucked. the ONE person i didn't want to win HOH won it. THE. ONE. PERSON. i'm going up and i'm the target. i don't talk to him like, at all. i hate this timeline i hate it i hate it please someone take me out of here. i'm probably gonna go up next to mikki (my CLOSEST ALLY) and go home and im so fucking scared of that. im so scared of rich i hate how he's playing this game that little snake is playing a game that is threatening to mine and i hate it. i hate it i hate it i hate it. this game sucks i hate it (i love u hosts im just irritated) - made 9:27 pm, outdated, will see if anything changes

I am good with Rich winning HOH, he totally deserved it and I'm happy for him. I feel safe with him, and he reassured me that I was going to be safe. So I am going to see just how honest he was with me. I honestly have a good feeling about him, and I like him. What I'm not happy about is people throwing my name out there for him to put up as a pawn...NO MA'AM, PAM, OR SAM!!! I am nobody's pawn, and I WILL remember who said it! I would have to say that I am closest to Jakey and Szymon in this game. I trust them the most and we have the JLS Alliance and hopefully we can ride this out to the end! I also like Amanda, she is someone I would like to keep close. Other than that, I am loving this game. A little chaotic at times, but I can handle it. That's that on that for now! Peace out!✌🏾

Jared is gone, Jared who I genuinely love so much he's amazing and it fucking SUCKS and what sucks worse is that it's probably better for my game because I have options now that people aren't lumping me in with him as a duo. Worse news, looks like Mikki and Brianna will be on the block this week and that puts Mikki in SO much danger. Mikki who I really am coming to trust right but am being named as close with her. Can people stop labelling me as part of duos or... kthx. Anyway, Mikki better stay because it'd be nice to have someone I can trust. Szymon and Sara seem somewhat distant so I'm not sure how much I can trust them right now, especially after I tried to save Jared. Daly and I are closing in on a bond in the absence of Jared and I hope that fares me well. My problem really is that I think a lot of my connections are on the table. I've been working on getting closer to people but with some of the guys it's kinda hard so!!! we'll see. I've been swinging the birthday twin angle with Addilyn so let's see how that pans out!! I'm really not getting much info so then I don't have much info to give so nobody wants to give me any. It's a long long cycle. But with Mikki in danger I did casually be like "why are people so mad abt people who've played other games, like szymon has won survivor and ferg has won the challenge a couple times?" just to really get that out there and for it to come from Mikki, not me :). Byeeeeeee I'm so done with this if Mikki goes here. I don't want to have to shuffle into working with the men but I might have to. I wanna crack their alliance open but I don't want to be a big target this early, annoying. Rich told me that he felt good with me now that Jared's gone but didn't tell me the real noms until today (told me Bri/Lana but it's Bri/Mikki) so yay fuck that shit everyone else has a closest ally/allies and mine are all LEAVING ok thats enough of that tantrum. I'll figure something out it's just awkward as hell because I'm not entirely sure how to push a vote in a smart way. I have a couple ideas of HOW but not how to do it subtlely. I'm still trying to avoid making enemies because when it comes down to it, I need to be safe from the block more than I need a ghost of power in this game. power gets you got, so i just need to survive.

I am sooo excited rich is HOH. I kind of went underground for a few days and forgot about DRs. Austin solidified a group with Ferg, Szymon, himself, and I while Szymon was in power. I really like that group too. I’ll do what I can to keep them safe. I feel like I’m connecting with everyone??? I mean, I’m not oblivious...I know some probably don’t like me, but I think I’m talking to everybody. Jared went home. He almost didn’t because of an emotional house meeting... the girls literally debated flipping a coin?? Mazden was on the block again but nowhere to be found. Shes Sade again but old what she is thinking. I prepped a google doc for the last hoh for like 5 hours I’m SO glad rich won. I also tried by best just in case but he kicked butt!! I talked to Amanda on the phone last night for an hour and we really connected. She’s super easy to talk to. I’m worried about Austin but we will see what comes of it in the days to come. I LOVE my groups. Rich and Sara are amazing. Szymon is so caring, and ferg is definitely putting effort in to our relationship. I’m happy because I feel like I’m doing okay! Rich joked that we are the evil alliance of the season and I just hope he’s wrong tbh... I never wanted to be the bad guy, I’ve always thought I was an underdog 😳. Sarah thanked me for putting the group together and I’m really grateful we made it. Power 3/4 times??? It’s my turn next, I really don’t wanna let them down.

My issue with trusting Mikki was never that I truly thought she was untrustworthy. I think it was apparent from the moment Mikki would only vote for Mazden in Week 1 because she wanted to be good to Celina showed that she's loyal. I was so worried her loyalty didn't lie with me, though, and now that I've realised Mikki is a great ally, she's on the bloody block. I'm a fucking idiot. Watch me lose two great allies in a row UGH.

UGH I so could have won that POV comp but of course I made a huge mistake on my submission. I could have gotten under 4 minutes... At the same time it isn't the worst thing because I would want to use it on Mikki but Rich would be absolutely pissed if I did.

It is crucial for my game for Brianna to go this week. I am getting to the point where I do not feel like anyone left in the game would nominate me based on the relationships I have built since Day 1. I do not think it would be in my best interest to win this HOH tomorrow because I genuinely wouldn't have 2 nominees that are not working with me (except maybe Mazden/Lana)

I am feeling sooooooo conflicted. Like I wanna win hoh tomorrow...but I have absolutely NO idea who I’d nominate. Austin keeps pointing out that I’m the only person (in both of our alliances) who hasn’t won anything. But is winning really good for my game at this point?? Also, either Austin is a closet asshole to all, or he’s just really comfortable with me. He says a lot of mean things.. 😒 “you’re my little pawn who can never win a comp” ...all jokes aside...ouch.. while he’s out here telling me winning isn’t good. I like him a lot, and he tells me all the time that I’m his #1 and I do believe him because he’s putting in a lot of work with me. BUT, I think he’s getting too comfortable. He needs to step up, try to have genuine conversations, and be nice to me because I’m fragile 😂 I’m gonna try for hoh tomorrow. Then I’ll have to think about who I nominate. I actually have no clue but it’s whatever. Daly wants to talk on the phone tomorrow and I need to be super careful what I say to him. Honestly, if I won I’d love to nominate him just to shake things up and step away from the “sides” but whatever, I truly don’t think I’d make it far if I did. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IM DOING. I’m annoyed at everything. And I feel really bad that I’ve basically stepped out on my f2 with rich from night one. I fucking love him. And if it came down to him, Austin, and I in final three I guess I don’t really know what I’d do. It’s easy to say Austin because we talk constantly. But rich is nice and genuine with me. AND I believe he’s fiercely loyal. And I think if it came down to it Austin would cut me to win. The more and more we talk he’s getting comfortable and he’s playing ruthless. ...and that scares me...

LMAO not haley lying to me about not talking to Austin or ferg much when I know they're in an alliance together and her and Austin make it SO obvious that they are a duo. I can't help but laugh. it's cute how they think they are slick when they are literally MESSAGING ME THE SAME TIME, and like start messaging me after the other and then end at the same time it's just.....so obvious. like guys please try harder???? if you wanna be a secret duo keep it more secret??? you're literally in an alliance together I- and I know about it because you're aligned with MY secret duo. ahhhhh how cute of you to try how cute how cute. I'm so bitter and over these people like so over it every single thing out of haley and Austins mouths is FAKE and they think they are being so great at playing people but I'm sitting here playing them back it's so exhausting keeping up a fake conversation. the sad thing is I think I would love haley outside of this game. but in it she annoys the crap out of me because she's sooooo fake and boring. I'm over it.

we hate it here

Click HERE to see the Goodbye Messages for Brianna.

youtube

#bbfiore #episodes

0 notes

fairygothmothercat · 7 years

Text

Cancer and depression and my life

I have not been speaking openly about it on social media. Though I might as well here since very few people actually follow me anyways. Tumbler has turned into my vent and rant place basically because no one ever responds or says anything about my Tumbler posts lol. Facebook is a whole different creature. We all know someone who has or is battling cancer. It effects many people. My grandfather battles Leukemia right now. My mom had it, my grandmothers, grandfathers, aunts and uncles and some friends I have known or their family. So it was a matter of time when it would strike closer and well as my mom before me and her mother and grandmother I am susceptible to many of the cancers that our female family members have survived or succumbed to. Breast, cervical/uterine, colon cancer are all things that have been a fight. My grandmother on my moms side is a 2 time survivor of colon cancer. My other grandmother from my dads side passed away in 2009 after her battle with lung cancer. She had technically beat it or it was in remission but the chemo had wiped her immune system out and a infection took her from us. Its still one of the most painful losses in my life as I was very close to her and as someone with very few I trust or love and could talk to it left quite the hole in my life. My first fight is now with Cervical and uterine cancer. It has been found in its early stage and as far as the Drs see its pretty localized and operable. It could be more spread like my mothers but hers still was operable by hysterectomy which is removal of the uterus and cervix. In my case they are not opting to remove the entire organ unless they see anything that prompts them to or complications arise. I will be having most the cervix removed and part of the lower part or neck of the uterus. Honestly I rather have a hysterectomy. I can not have kids or want so theres no point in saving it but the Dr believes this should be sufficient for now. I will require regular examinations and biopsies to make sure it never returns or spreads. So the prognosis for now seems good and the piece of me being removed is not crucial for my survival so I do not have too many heavy worries. I just do not look forward to the pain, discomfort especially in the region being operated on. Of course I looked it up and watched it on youtube so I now know how brutal the procedure looks. I know people say you shouldn't do that but I like to know what to expect even if I am not conscious.I did not need to have a baby for my poor vagina to end up getting wrecked lol. Of al places though its not cool its there. Add to it cutting a month out of my life to recover in summer so no swimming or doing much of anything. I am grateful I moved to Germany so I could afford the healthcare I needed in order to have less worries when it came to these things and my health in general. I worry for my aging parents who stand to lose the healthcare they have thanks to the current government and their quest to make the rich richer at the expense of the poor and vulnerable. Though I do not want to get into politics here. I still just know I am fortunate to now have access to good healthcare and finally have been able to pursue the treatments I need for my chronic illness which has caused me bad sight, bad hearing and weight gain among other things. I was born with these things and until I was 18 I got treated for only one single thing through a special program but that was not enough and after I turned 18 I was left uninsured until I was 27/28 and got medicaid which was still pretty limited. Though now I go through my cancer treatment and I do not say much. I do not look for sympathy or attention. I been accused enough about seeking attention and shit like that. Other people can make a song and dance about stuff but I seem to be expected to deal with it on my own. Which is what I have always pretty much done all my life. I never pushed my burdens on other people in my family or friends. I rarely ask for help. My husband and a few people know of whats going on. I will get my treatment and spend much of my recovery alone which is ok. I am getting used to and starting to embrace my loneliness and isolation. I might be too honest or real for most people to handle anyways. My openness and genuine nature seems to put people off. It has widdled me down to being more reserved these days and more cynical and cautious even more nihilistic and pessimistic. I sometimes think if it were not for my mom, my husband and a few I can count on my hand that actually care I would have been ok to let the cancer take me away. I would not want to hurt anyone. Its not to say I do not have a desire to live. Sure I struggle with bipolar and depression but I do have many reasons and many things to live for. Its just sometimes dealing with the pain both physical and mental that are draining. I can have professional help and swallow pills but it is not the cure all. Recently a prominent outspoken youtuber Stevie Ryan who also suffered and spoke about mental illness just committed suicide. She was my age but she was healthy, beautiful and successful and still she lost the fight. It can be worrisome for me. I am a lonely mostly shut in person whos been rejected for various reasons. Hardly successful either and codependent. Twice divorced, survivor of childhood trauma, abuse, sexual assault. I have social anxiety, low self esteem and some confidence issues. It might seem when I am dressed up and covered in makeup that I am strong and confident but it is just the shell of a lonely, hurting girl who yearns for acceptance, love, health and happiness. Sometimes I find a glimmer of it and it keeps my hope and many other times I am mocked, rejected, stabbed in the back, accused of ridiculous things and excluded. When I have said anything of my struggles I get accused of looking for sympathy, attention and people who say they will be there or you can talk to simply vanish over a few posts talking about the struggle on facebook. Thats a recurrent thing. Its often those who say you can talk to us or come to us and post about these things to help friends and whatnot that usually seem to do the complete opposite. At least in my own experiences. They say go get a therapist. Well even if I had one the underlying issues contributing to my crisis just do not magically go away. I might be able to cope better drugged up but I been through therapy most my life and rehashed the same sad history and story of my life to several professionals. Its a bandaid. Its help yes but sometimes the real help is having people close that pay attention and can hopefully help prevent tragedy by recognizing the symptoms, behaviours and needs of the one suffering. Its likely Stevie even had a good support system in place but the loss of her grandfather while being depressed pushed her over. I been there.The loss of my grandmother led to a downward spiral and attempts to end it. I was hospitalized and then my divorce happened and I left and drifted around alone to escape the place of so much trauma, drama and pain and seek a new life and identity. I spent birthdays and Christmases alone without family or anyone and a crap short lived relationship had me seeking a final end to my suffering. Another mental hospital stint from overdosing and then more people leaving me because understandably they did not want to hurt so distancing themselves from me was their way of coping. I am now in Germany and well here I am. Trying to hold on to optimism and hope. I usually paint much rosier pictures on facebook and social media but the truth is I struggle and suffer and do my best to take each day at a time and be grateful and show it to those who show me kindness. I accept the fact not everyone will like, love or get on with me. Sometimes I wish they went about things better but thats just the way things go. some might call me a snowflake but I am more like a snowball. Alot of stuff packed up and then thrown to burst into pieces and then gathered back up and sometimes theres less and sometimes theres more but I feel like I get thrown around alot and smashed or melted and sometimes dirt, rocks and stuff ends up picked up along the way which makes me ugly and potentially hurt others if hit. I never seek or intend to hurt others. In fact I never done anything serious or bad to others. It usually comes down to simple misunderstandings of my intentions or meaning or some ignorance and simple mistake. I think most would be forgiven of these things but usually in my case one little mistake costs me friendships and I could apologize until blue in the face but its no use. Sorry for the long rant. so much on my mind and typing is easier than writing a diary. My rheumatoid arthritis makes writing these days a bit painful and difficult. I have few outlets to express myself as well. Tumbler might not be the best place but so far its proven to be one of the only few I can ramble on and it seems so far no one bothers, or responds so I can type walls of text and play my own therapist at times. Tomorrow I go in surgery. Was not the surgery I hoped for. I was hoping this time I would be having weight loss surgery but it is further delayed. Just another long rant for another time. Other than that I still kind of try hoping I will be able to continue on and that I can have a few of the simple things in life like some good friends and better health.

#cancer #cervical cancer #uterine cancer #surgery #pcos #chronic illness #bipolar #depression #trigger warning

1 note · View note

fearofaherobrine · 7 years

Text

Roleplay Server Log #169

“Ryan the Dragon, TLOT Returns”

[Doc] Mix has a baby dragon, I do too.

[NK] Oh. *Finally notices GK and freezes, staring at him

[Gk] Narrows his eyes a bit and sniffs

[Stevenson] -sees something in his innovatory it's a glitchy textured spawn for a prince dragon with the name ryan on it which makes him rush outside next to gk and try to use it but it doesn't respond- fuck!

[NK] Are dragons a normal occurrence here? *Baring his teeth at GK a bit. It's not very intimidating considering one canine's broken.

[Gk] chuckles - welcome brother, I like a brine with a little sass

[Doc] what? Oh no, we just, kinda rescue them from other seeds. -Notices the cursing Steve. - hello there, do you need a hand with something?

[NK] ... Hello then. *Calms down since Gk isn't a threat

[Stevenson] my poor baby ryan I don't know how he got here but he won't respond -is holding some kind of glitch textured white orb with a crown on top Stevenson looks like he might cry-

[Gk] So Mix was a two for one deal huh? You guys look related.

[Doc] A baby?! Is it a human spawn egg?!

[Stevenson] no he is a prince dragon.

[Mix] My brother! *points at Nk happily

*NK looks flustered at her happy pointing

[Doc] I don't get it, were you storing it in there like a pokeball?

[Gk] oh cool, I like the gem. Very stylish. - he offers a hoof - Herobrine the Griefer King, Gk for short

[Stevenson] no I don't know how he got into my inventory because he wasn't there before. I thought I lost him to the server collapse. -the corner of his eyes are watering-

[NK] Herobrine.. uh, Nether Keeper I guess. I can't remember my original title. *Shakes the hoof

[Gk] is that the one you were talking about Stevenson? - lets go- so what's your specialty Nk?

[Stevenson] yes this is ryan.

[Doc] Reaches out for the egg - let me see it please

[Stevenson] -reluctantly gives it up-

[NK] Magic, I use commands really flashily? I took care of the nether. My memory isn't as good as I'd like. I've spent who knows how long just hanging out in nothingness..

[Doc] Scans it over - you're missing a few crucial lines here, it needs some repairs before it can hatch- xe takes out hir command block and begins typing with one hand

[Stevenson] I don't know how to give him those lines. -is crying-

[Gk] I'm from the nether too, thats my natural spawn area, don't like it much though, too noisy and stinky

[Doc] I know you can't or you would have done it already, hey Gk can I have a bit of your code? Mine won't work since I'm not a natural dragon

[Gk] yeah, whatever...

[NK] Forced there, but it was livable, changes were necessary though.

[Doc] Gives Gk a sharp poke with a small needle and draws some of his blood.

[Gk] OW! You asshole!

[Gk] Hisses at Doc and turns back to Nk- like what kind of changes?

[Doc] squirts a little bit of the blood on the block and starts unraveling the strands of code and tangling them with the ones xe is writing

[Gk] Stop crying you goober. I've seen this crazy fucker bring people back from the dead. Be patient.

[Stevenson] -is trying to calm down but I failing-

[Doc] pulls out a bowl of healing paste and dumps some of it on the code before stirring it all together with hir fingers

[alexine] -comes outside and sees Stevenson crying- ok what's going on why is Stevenson crying?

[Gk] Docs working on his egg

[alexine] egg?

[Stevenson] ryan -still crying-

[alexine] oh, wait what ryan is still alive!

[Doc] Takes the little crown off the egg and starts rubbing it down with the paste.

[Gk] Hey Nk looks like you got here just in time for another little miracle, heh. You ready yet Doc? I already know what the next fucking request will be

[Doc] Checks the surface of the egg for glitches and finds it flawless- yes please.

[Gl] Leans over with a grumble and starts cleaning the surface of the egg with his overlong tongue.

[Stevenson] DON'T EAT RYAN!

[Gk] I ain't gonna eat it dumbass! - notices a bit of activity in th egg and backs off

[Doc] the egg is now rocking in hir hands and forming cracks - that's better! Here, you hold it, you said it was yours - puts the egg in Stevenson's hands

[Stevenson] -takes the egg-

-liquid is coming out of the egg-

[Stevenson] why is it wet!

[ryan] -hatches almost explosively because he was suppose to be like a spawn egg he is several times bigger then the egg-

[Gk] HOLY SHIT

[Doc] Yeah that didn't look comfortable... But normally dragons do have a good deal of amniotic fluid in their eggs

[ryan] -is a gold and white dragon with three heads and six wings each head had one red eye and one blue he sees he is in stevenson's arms and cuddles closer to him making happy trills-

[Stevenson] -hugs ryan crying happy tears- ryan I am so glad you okay.

[Doc] picks up the teeny crown they removed from the egg and puts it on the middle head.- who's a cute little baby huh?

[ryan] -is confused at the crown because it never had before the other two heads take it off and all three start noming on it-

[alexine] well it's good to see ryan again Stevenson is going to protect him with his life like normal

[Gk] He better... Or I'll pitch his ass in the bay...

[Doc] heh, what do you think of that Nk? This is my brine specialty as Gk put it. I fix things.

[ryan] -decides to put the crown on Stevenson's head so now he is wearing he squeaking and seems pleased with himself-

[Gk] does it have three independent brains?

[NK] It's interesting. So far everything has been.. pretty unusual.

[Stevenson] no because ryan has reverted back to being a baby but when he got older though the head move independently they all spoke as one

[alexine] yea Stevenson taught ryan how to speak.

[Doc] This place is a sanctuary Nk, everyone is from someplace else. Usually someplace much more dangerous.

[NK] I... see. It's a lot to take in..

[Mix] You can stay with me if you want, or Doc, if they'll let you.

{NK] uh..

[Doc] it's okay Nk, my castle is big enough to get lost in. I take in new people all the time, the spawn is rather rough at night since we've been here a long time so it's easier to just shelter new people myself until they can build their own places.- turns to the Alex and slightly soggy Steve- that offer stands for you two as well

[Doc] oh, and the baby of course, more little dragons are always welcome.

[Stevenson] -is too busy with ryan to respond-

[alexine] we won't be there long as soon as we have the supplies we will start heading out.

[Doc] Heading out where? Do you guys plan on roughing it? Or do you actually want off the server?

[alexine] more to build a place farther away

[Doc] shrugs- okay, just FYI though, the village near the spawn is the biggest one on the seed if you want to trade with the Testificates. Apart from that you only have a little more then a days walk before hitting totally untamed wilderness.

[alexine] untamed wilderness seems good to me.

[Doc] Me too, that's why it's like that, take what you need but replant where you chop and no strip mining. Be kind to the seed and it will always provide.

[Gk] Hippie

[Doc] How can I not be? You cynical beast. It saw me dying of heartbreak and gave me a loving mate.

[Gk] is rolling his eyes but it's hard to tell

[alexine] we tended to stick to caves because of the constant changing environment made cave always plentiful and we would rather not get lost in long tunnels

[Gk] As if reciting from memory - torches on the right always, even I know that shit. Just from stalking Steffan.

[Doc] Besides, it might be a good idea to stay close until Ryan is bigger. We've got several adult dragons if you need advice or babysitting.

[alexine] ryan is a little smart then you would think.

[Doc] I didn't say he was dumb, but he is small, and could get lost or hurt.

[alexine] -looks like she might laugh- I guess you never seen the crazy craft mod this server is like a padded world compared to crazy craft

[Doc] No, I have not, but the 'padding'as you say of the server is also intentional. We have tons of baby animals, pokemon and small children. Some Herobrine's like to fight so I keep the pvp turned off too. I can't risk anyone with a glitch damaging the server itself. The firewall has a ton of extra redundancies as well to keep the NOTCH's out.

[alexine] I say padded because most thing in that mod do more damage then an enderdragon.

[Doc] is a bit flabbergasted- Why would anyone install that....?

[alexine] a challenge there are powerful weapons and armor you can get

[NK] I'd like to look around a bit, is Doc's home close?

[Gk] About three chunks but there's a lit path most of the way.

[Doc] I... I've had enough challenges just trying to survive out there... I'm heading home. Anyone who wants to follow me can.

[Mix] I'm coming, I gotta make sure Liz hasn't eaten Deer's hand or something. Little troublemaker...

[Doc] I'm sure she's fine. She's tougher then she looks.

[Mix] Of course she is! Liz is just a very determined bab.

[Doc] I'm amazed by how fast she's learned to talk

[Mix] So was I. Sky says Liz is pretty fast, even compared to dragons on his seed.

[ryan] -sees a spider trying to sneak up behind Stevenson and a large amount of fire balls come out of all three head right at the spider killing it in a second-

[Doc] Whoah, okay, time out! One more thing! My house has a few skeletons that father Steve considers his brothers, and a tame creeper that's not capable of exploding. If you hurt them, he'll cry, a lot. If you see a mob in a sweater leave it alone. They won't attack you anyway.

[Stevenson] hear that ryan mobs with sweaters are friends -ryan nods in understanding-

[Doc] Good. There's also one friendly Endermen with crossed eyes, he'll probably think you're adorable and try to hug you. He's also harmless

[Stevenson] isn't that the one in the bar right now?

[Gk] Who was walking quietly with them -Yeah, he's a doof. Can't tell a brine from a steve.

[Stevenson] anyone else?

[Doc] Mobs...? Sam the bartender. There's a wither skeleton that roams around free with just a shirt, his name is W. I think that's all.

[Gk] There's Sky, but he doesn't look like a normal enderman. Oh and the super tiny endermen that hang out with Gem. But they're rarely without an adult for supervision.

[Stevenson] did you get all that ryan? -he shakes his heads yes-

[Gk] Ohhh, I smell something good... - he trots across the little bridge ahead of them and around the side of a small house, wagging the tip of his tail like an excited cat.

-Theres a sound of someone giving a little laugh of suprise-

[Stevenson and alexine] -sit down on the grass to rest they are playing with ryan quietly-

[Sweet Alex] Comes outside with a bowl of cookies and tosses one in the air

[Gk] snaps it at the top of it's arc and munches happily.

[Sweet Alex] Oh! You brought friends to! -

[Doc] Yeah, lots of new arrivals - xe's cut off as Alex thrusts the bowl in hir hands and races back into the house for the tea tray.

[Sweet Alex] Throws down a few wood blocks and lays out more tea and cookies.

[Gk] Settles down with a sigh and there's a sound of gentle rumbling not unlike a purr.

[Doc] Sniffs the bowl in hir hands- Oh! Did you go visiting?

[Sweet Alex] Yep, I traded with Mousse and Squrl for some of the dark touchie syrup.

[Doc] Oh, the mousselasses. Yeah, that's good stuff. Well come on, anyone who wants some. No need to stand on ceremony.

*Mix sits down and NK does too after a few moments

[Doc] Guys, this is Sweet Alex, if you need anything that smells or tastes nice, she's the one to ask. She can also speak glitch if someone is badly hurt or errored and needs to communicate.

[Gk] Slightly grumbly- She also makes kigirumis for anyone who's cold and feels like looking like a cute animal

[NK] What is a.. kigirumi?

[Sweet Alex] It's a one piece jumper with an animal design. Usually with a teeny tail or wings depending on the critter and a face on the hood.

[Doc] She's just as good at sewing as I am.

[NK] Oh. Sounds.. Interesting.

[Stevenson and alexine] -they join the group. Stevenson is holding ryan as he looks at everything on the table-

[Lie] There's the sound of a teleport and the end of a sneeze as Lie lands in the yard in front of Sweet Alex's place-

[Sweet Alex] And you have a baby dragon! So cute! Oh, hey Lie! Something set off your allergies?

[Lie] - No... I think that was just a sneeze...

[Doc] Lie! I think you forgot something on TLOT and Steve's seed.

[Lie] - What do you mean?

[Doc] Um.... giant lust flower?

[Lie] Faces pales a little- Fuck...

[Doc] Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I hope the villagers are smart enough to stay away from it.

[Lie] - Maybe... We should go take care of that?

[Doc] Actually no. It's not fair to go back without offering to take TLOT and Steve with us.

[Lie] - Right... So maybe we should let them know what happened?

[Doc] Well I was getting to it. I found a new brine, and I was going to show, them and Alexine and Stevenson the castle. Since they'll likely be staying with me for a bit. This is Nk ,and the bitty dragon is Ryan.

[Lie] - Hello! I'm Lie

[NK] Hello. *Raises hand a bit in a wave

[Lie] - So who are you in relation to?

[Gk] Takes another cookie as if he's stealing it.

[NK] Mi-

[Mix] Me! *Happy grin

[Lie] - Oh Mix! That's wonderful!

[Doc] Is just having some tea.

[Mix] It's not the whole family yet, but it's better than nothing

[Lie] - Well I wish you luck in finding the rest

[Doc] Wait, Mix, you said something about a NOTCH, did you not mean Firebird?

[Mix] No, he's not mine. Not.. Like, familial.

[Doc] Then what's the deal? Did you guys adopt him into your group from another seed or something?

[Lie] Sits close to Sweet Alex to listen to Mix's response-

[Aweet Alex] Offers Lie a cup of tea.

[Lie] - What kind is it?

[Mix] Firebird's basically adopted. Last seed. Or was it the one before... He can't rightly defend himself so he just sort of tags along. He's useful in his own way though. It's Flowey who's a nuisance, really.

[Sweet Alex] Darjeeling

[Doc] Kinda like all the ones we picked up in the sub seed. That's very kind of you Mix.

[Lie] - Ah, no thank you then. Do you have any more oils you'd like me to change into flowers?

[Mix] It's how we got little Benny too. Followed us all the way across a seed. Like, all over the place. Sky insisted we bring him with after.

[Sweet Alex] Not at the moment, but thank you for asking.

[Doc] He's bright for a chicken.

[Lie] - Just let me know when you want me to come over to make more

[Mix] Yeah, he is.

[Doc] I think I'm just going to call them... - starts typing in the chat. And then exclaims - Oh! You already know? It's wonderful isn't it!

[Lie] Gives Doc a curious look-

[TLOT] Suddenly appears in their midst with Steve on his back. He's near running in place he's so happy.

[Lie] - TLOT, hey

*NK leans back a bit as they appear

[TLOT] Lie! - He rushes her and hugs her, spinning her around.

[Steve] practically tackles Doc and hugs them as well

[Doc] Ooof!

[Lie] Squeaks a little as she's hugged-

[TLOT] Lets her down, it's obvious he's been crying- Thank you Lie... We couldn't wish for better friends.

[Doc] Air please-

[Steve] Oh, right. - Eases up a bit and then releases Doc.

[Lie] - Who told you?

[TLOT] Cp! I'm shocked he wasn't exstactic since he got to kill a NOTCH.

[Lie] - Er, that may be my fault... I kinda yelled at him as soon as we got home...

[TLOT] Why?

[Doc] He ditched me. Tped the whole group and left me behind to walk back alone. Assbag.

[Lie] - His excuse was that it was good training for Doc

[Doc] Suuuure.

[Lie] - In a way I think he was genuine about that though. I think he wants to make certain you can get back, he just doesn't know how to teach it very well... Or that's how he was taught

[Doc] Still hurt my feelings...

[Lie] - I know I know

[CP] Comes down the path on his way home- OHFOR FUCKS SAKE CAN'T I JUST GET AWAY FROM SOME OF YOU FUCKERS!?

[Sweet Alex] waves cheerfully - Hello Cp!

[Gk] What the hell did I do? I haven't seen you for a few days.

[CP] - Not you GK

[TLOT] Cp! Gonna refrain from hugging you again even though I want to.

[CP] Growls a little-

[TLOT] Be nice, we have new arrivals after all. Even a new brother brine. - gestures to the group

[CP] Groans-

[Doc] Oh get over it Cp.

[Lie] Motions CP towards her and he complies-

[Doc] Thank you for fixing the thingie detector Cp. It led us right to the Nether Keeper here.

[CP] - Don't care

[TLOT] So Nk?

[Doc] Yep

[TLOT] Sticks out a hand- I'm Herobrine the Lord of Tears, TLOT for short. And this is my husband Steve.

[Steve] Smiles sweetly.

[NK] Nice to meet you. *Shakes the hand

[CP] Sits next to his wife and pulls her into his lap-

[TLOT] So you hanging with us for a while or headed down to the house under the waves?

[NK] Hanging out

[TLOT] Cool! Can't wait to show you around.

[Doc] Hey guys.... Lie kinda left a giant lust pod next to Kore so we need to go and get it. Do you want to come with us now that it's safe?

[CP] - Do we really have to go back there now?

[TLOT] Is silent for a long moment and then yells far too loud - HELL YEAH I FUCKING DO!

[Steve] I'm in.

[Mix] Can I come? While I'm out it'd be nice. I'm sure Deer can handle Liz a bit longer..

[Doc] Certainly, and Lie, we kinda need you since it's your plant.

[Lie] - Yeah, I know

[TLOT] Hey Gk, you wanna go? You might get to scare the fuck out of some people.

[Gk] Grins- You had me at scare.

[NK] I... think I'll come too.

[Doc] I think you need an impressive mount for this, old friend. - Xe steps back and transforms. Hir big paws thudding hard on the dirtblocks.

[CP] Grumbles and holds Lie a bit closer to himself-

[TLOT] Climbs onto Doc's back and pulls Steve up behind him.

[Gk] Trots over to Mix and Nk, before kneeling a bit - Come on, get on, I think we're going in from the sky. You too Lie, I think someone is planning on being rather loud.

[Lie] Come on CP, let go

[CP] - Nope...

*Mix climbs on and NK does as well

[Mix] This'll be fun

[Lie] With a sigh decides to take the easy route and flicks the collar onto her husband, moving quickly so she doesn't squish him. She reaches down and picks him and his clothes up before climbing onto GK- This way you can't leave anyone behind again

[Gk] She's got you there Cp.

[Doc] You guys behave, we'll be back shortly. - Xe yells into the chat - I'm off again darling, but I'll be home soon!

[Doc] Makes a hole in the firewall and zooms through

[Gk] Is startled and has to run to keep up.

[Doc] Now knows the way and goes straight for the server, it's moved much closer because of the still running PC in hir inventory.

[Doc] Practically bashes a hole into the other place and bursts out of the void and into the sunlight. Gk is hot on hir heels.

-As they pass into TLOT and Steve's home the gaudy brine's power swells out in ripples, he no longer has to hide and his seed welcomes him with everything he'd lost being away returned tenfold. He howls in exhulation, and it seems to shake the air that's rushing around them.

[Steve] Follows his lovers primal scream with a happy cry of his own

[Lie] Feels TLOT's power rush over her-

[CP] Shudders a little-

-There's a second wave of power from below them as they fly out over the city, too fast to see what's happening underneath, it fills every corner of TLOT's being and he climbs atop Doc's head, balancing himself like a surfer on hir snout.

[TLOT] HEROBRINE HAS RETURNED.

- The shouts below them rise up in a roar.

[Steve] Looks down and his eyes go incredibly wide

[Doc] Can't look down because TLOT will fall off.

[Gk] Why the fuck is everyone naked?

[Lie] Starts blushing very hard- WHY!?

[CP] Hisses-

[Doc] Lands on a roof top and levels out hir head so TLOT can talk to them.

[TLOT] NOTCH IS DEAD.

[TLOT] JEB IS ALSO GONE.

[TLOT] This world belongs to me now.

-There's a lot of cheering but the Testificates seem a bit exhausted.

[Gk] Lands as well. - Uh, why the fuck are you guys naked, it's not that hot in the desert, is it?

[Lie] Has her eyes shut-

[Someone wearing a priests robe tied at the waist.] They found the flowers near the ruins! They passed the word along to us! A sign!

[Testificate fem] And then the battle in the desert!

[Yonger Testificate] We touched the giant flower and felt your heat! Spread the love everywhere!

[Lie] Squeaks-

[Older dude] We had an orgy!

[TLOT] Is just staring with his mouth open.

[Steve] I bet that was fun.

[Mix] Kind of regret my decision..

[Lie] - GK... Please take me over to the pod so I can destroy it...

[Testificate mal] We love the plant you left us! We've been watering it for you.

-The pod senses Lie's closeness and shifts, diving under the sands-

[TLOT] Okaaay. -Mentally to Lie - maybe we should just leave it-

[Lie] Mentally back- Are you sure they won't kill themselves by fucking so much?

[Doc] Loud thought- at least they seem to have loosened up

[TLOT] Nah. They're Testificates. They're a hardy bunch.

-The pod erupts out of the ground nearby and hovers over the group of brines-

[Testificates] Shout and point and move back a little so it doesn't drool on them

[Doc] I could make a spawn block from the nectar? Make a fountain for their temple?

[Lie] Groans- GK, ground please

[CP] Mentally at TLOT to tell Doc- Do you want to get near that Nether liquid?

[Gk] Sure, He hops down and cants a wing so Lie can slide down it.

[Doc] You guys are so loud, I can hear you you know.

[Lie] Slides off and the pod follows her- Easy now, come here- She watches as the pod lowers itself and nudges against her

[Doc] I'm all over it. - Xe Hops down to the ground and lets the lovers off hir back before sticking hir paws out in front of hir. The purple coloration on them bleeds over hir claws and becomes a rather large pair of hir normal rubber gloves. Xe pulls out a bucket.

[TLOT] Is standing in the crowd, they seem determined to touch his cloak, and Steve is getting a subdued version of the same treatment.

[Lie] Glances at Doc before stroking the plant, encouraging it to open it's pod. There's a slight ripping sound as it does so, it's thorny teeth shimmering with liquid-

[TLOT] Give me a little space guys, I'm gonna make you something.

[Doc] Clicks into the mouth with the bucket and it ends up full of the shiny black liquid.

[Lie] Smiles and then yelps as the plant tilts it's head and forgets to close it's pod when it does so, about half of her is covered in nectar-

[CP] Looks very unhappy on GK's back-

[TLOT] Puts his hands on the ground and the blocks in the plaza begin to flip and lift. They form a golden ring and raise up a pillar in the center.

[Doc] carries the bucket as if it may at any moment explode and clicks on the pillar with it and down in the basin. The fountain fills with the liquid and there are gasps from all around.

[Lie] - TLOOOOOOT...

[TLOT] Now show a little restraint my people! Make sure you rest in between lovemaking and drink lots of water. Use proper lube and aftercare, and don't neglect your partners feelings!

[Lie] Looks at the pod- You've done your job well...

[Testificates] Cheering and promises all around.

[Steve] Now you guys should really put a little bit of clothing on. You're gonna get all sunburned.

-Few random yells - Yes Father Steve!

-There's a general milling about and Doc looks at Lie with more then a little concern.

[Doc] Um Lie? Are you okay?

[Lie] Turning a bit red- I don't know...

3 notes · View notes

taciteaneremite · 7 years

Text

COLT: *this has reached a whole new level of petty and therefore unacceptable. he knows joel won't talk to him through text or call, so there's only one way to handle this... he's showing up at joel's door without letting anyone knowing that's where he went, knocking impatiently.*

JOEL: *He doesn't have to answer the door either. Joel is locked in his room, pretty much hiding from Rammie more than Colt. But he hears the knocking and sticks his head out of the window. Actually, physically climbing out onto the roof. The surrounding of Joel and Rammie's house is mostly greenhouse and with the humidity at an all time high, the windows are open. Bringing on a generous breeze.* Hey.

JOEL: Nobodys home dipstick.

COLT: *colt squinting (TM) as he looks around, before he steps back and traces to sound of joel's voice to the roof. * We need to talk.

JOEL: Whys that. *Doesn't move. If anything that would be convenient for Colt.*

COLT: Because this is gettin' out of hand.

JOEL: No shit it is. But hey.

JOEL: At least youre telling me this stuff to my face. And not lettin folks interfere for once.

COLT: *looks around. he can get up to the roof too... watch him. he just needs to get a good start... he's got enough adrenaline going he can pull a dumbass strider move and flash step off of a tree to launch him up onto the roof. naturally, he stumbles, but he manages to land looking moderately cool.*

COLT: I don't "let" people interfere... They can make the choice for themselves if they wanna get involved or not. *looms over him*

COLT: Can't really blame them... I know we're bein' obnoxious.

JOEL: Youre being fucking obnoxious. Im just responding. *squares himself up against Colt. Glaring.*

COLT: How? What am I doin'? *MAKES HIMSELF BIG. and he's only gotten much much bigger over the years.*

JOEL: Youre just??? *gestures wildly* Rubbing it in my face by now! FUCK.

JOEL: Yeah I KNOW you have nice happy family. I fucking KNOW you three are saints and aint never done anything wrong in your lives.

JOEL: Im just a little bit fed up with your perfect life achievements and MAYBE. Think you deserve to fuck off.

COLT: *he just... looks so tired.* When the hell did any of us claim to be perfect?

COLT: I'm sorry that I'm not completely goddamn miserable anymore. But just because I'm happy most of the time, that don't mean I can't mess up ever. I know I do. Just because I wanna live my life too instead of lettin' my short comings drag me down to that dark place again-- *shakes his head*

COLT: Joel.

COLT: I know that I hurt you.

COLT: I know you're perfectly entitled to hatin' me if you want to. But I don't... I don't understand why. Why wouldn't you wanna work somethin' out?

COLT: Why don't you just talk to me?

JOEL: *Where Colt looks tired, Joel continues to fume. Practically snarling.* Why wouldnt I?? When the shit have you acted like you deserve for me to forgive you. You dont.

JOEL: You went and cherry picked who you still wanted around and now you gotta fucking deal with it. Deal with *me* because unlike EVERYBODY FUCKING ELSE. They left you when the going got too tough.

JOEL: I would never.

JOEL: EVER.

JOEL: Have let you feel like you left me. I wouldnt have let ANYBODY put me in that position. Not Mithun not Zuserk not Rammie. But you left me to shit. Thats what you DID Colt.

COLT: *he fists clench and it feels hard to breathe with the thickness in the air. naturally, his eyes start to water with frustrated tears as he steadily boiling blood causes him to snap back.* I've always wanted you around! I never stopped wantin' you around!! I've been tryin' to include you in my life, but you decided for me whether or not I should. You act like I abandoned you...

COLT: But you never let me make any mistakes! Don't pretend like "loyalty" trumps everythin' else. You think bein' stoicly present despite all odds is the same as havin' a fuckin' relationship with somebody. Well, it's NOT. You shut me out long before Little and Finn went away back on Avalon.

COLT: I had a crisis back on GG's island... And then when I married Little I made a choice. And instead of talkin' me through it like they do when the goin' *actually* gets tough, you abandoned ME. You damned ME for being a FUCKIN' person.

COLT: I've never judged you in my life, Joel! I've loved you and supported you and I tried to take some of that weight you're always carryin' around but you never let me! You never let anybody but-- Goddammit, if it had been anyone why couldn't it have been me?

JOEL: Because I TRUSTED YOU. And you threw me under the fucking BUS. FUCK. *throws his arms up, having had enough of this thickness in the air. The hard of breathing and his own echoing hurt. Joel preforms a perfect backflip off the roof and lands in the gravel below. He starts to stomp for the yard.*

COLT: Don't you-- Come back here! *GREAT. he is NOT /that/ nimble... he has to clunkily descend by climbing down if he hopes to catch up to joel.*

COLT: I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU.

JOEL: *Nope. They're taking this shit outside. And it's true the air had gotten thicker. Joel had to blame it on the overgrowth and the ever changing weather. He breaks a sweat as he storms the whole way to the yard.*

JOEL: You broke my trust ONCE COLT. Why the FUCK would I wait around and wait for you to break it again???

COLT: *FOLLOWS when he finally gets to the ground.* Is that how it works now? You disown your family on account of one mistake?

COLT: Don't pretend like this is about trust! You're just fishin' for excuses to keep people out.

JOEL: So what??????? I will be-- UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *looks about ready to tear his hair out. The tears crawling straight out of his eyes as terror grips him.* I WILL BE FUCKING DAMNED IF YOU LEAVE ME TO BELIEVE THIS IS MY FAULT.

COLT: I DON'T think it's your fault! That's not what I'm tryin' to say...!

COLT: It ain't a matter of FAULT.

COLT: I know... I know you're just scared and hurtin' but I... I can't keep followin' at your heels tryin' to break down your walls. Dammit-- *runs a hand over his face and through his hair watching joel come apart like that, his own tears springing anew.*

COLT: I still have a life of my own... That don't mean I don't want you a part of it. I just... I don't know how to reach you. If you still want me in your life, you gotta meet me halfway sometimes. I can't read your mind, I can't--

COLT: I never wanted things to escalate like this. I just don't know what to do, Joel. Please... Let me fix this. Let me make up for it. Anything.

COLT: I'm beggin' you. *his voice cracks with desperation, feeling like he's officially at the end of his rope here. he doesn't want to lose his brother, but he feels so powerless. the atmosphere is suffocatingly tense... did it get darker out, too? even with a breeze picking up, a blanket of dread is snuffing out any hope for relief.*

JOEL: *His instincts are screaming for him to run. He hears what Colt said but it's the very opposite of what his mind is twisting the truth around to be. He says it's not a matter of fault but how the fuck did he know that? It might as well be and in this exact moment as the night seems to close in around Joel, every doubt and icy fear is surging up at him all at once. Choking him where he stood as Joe

JOEL: l practically fought for breath. It was happening again. These last three years were empty, void of any meaning and it was ALL HIS FAULT.*

JOEL: *And just like that, the ringing in his ears turn into snarls. The sounds seem to come from the woods, inside, all around. Joel feels his vision swim as he breathes too much of this thick, humidified air. It's a whim when he wills the choked feeling in his lungs to CHARGE with something. Something, anything, that will break this barrier around himself. His life.*

JOEL: *It's an act of the very same violence Joel was holding to himself when he turns on Colt. Lunging by some force of will that wasn't entirely his own. With great protruding fangs that seek to tear into any bit of Colt's flesh this fever-crazed Joel could reach, neither of them will even have time to notice the green colored taint of the mist around them.*

COLT: *there's no time to notice anything, or react. not that he would even think to. he knew joel could be violent and impulsive, but nothing could prepare him for the absolutely primal look in joel's eyes as he comes crashing over colt, knocking him to the ground with a powerful thud.*

COLT: *the sudden shock reverberating through his whole body, however, is dwarfed in comparison to the sharp, ripping pain where his neck meets his shoulder, only barely missing a very crucial vein. for a moment, all thoughts and instincts surrender to the feeling and he can only scream out in agony.*

COLT: *and then it gives way to something else, as if the pain is fueling him; it's not quite like an adrenaline rush, if anything, he has more clarity to deliberately grasp at joel's face and shoulder with digging nails... claws? to wrench him off, in spite of the way it hurts.*

JOEL: *The taste of blood has him pulling away faster than anything. Colt's terrified scream and the force it takes for him to shove him off has him recoiling. Joel's whole world is spiralling fast, his senses pressing down on him all at once. The sight, scents, sounds, tastes...*

JOEL: *He barrel rolls through the dirt, eyes blown by some feverish high as he springs to his feet just as quickly. His thoughts are too incoherent for him to try to make sense of his own survival instinct. But it's enough. In an instant, Joel is flashstepping off. Bolting for the woods in a hard run. Gone.*

COLT: *joel's gone, and colt is sitting to catch his breath and clutching at the wound in his shoulder, the hot flow of blood seeping past the gaps in his fingers. it'd be stupid to try to drive himself to the hospital, but he's doing that anyway. nothing is clear right now. and as far as he can tell in this rush of confusion, none of this even happened. it couldn't have.*

#estrapadingTrueblue #in which there's something in the air

1 note · View note

ts-nightingaleislands · 4 years

Text

Episode #6- “so here i am not getting any strikes.”- Vincent

TIM IS GONE!! That sneaky mother fucker. Am I allowed to curse on here? I will be taking credit for that thank you very much. So Chris was busy most of the day, but came back online about 15 min before tribal. We were the swing votes between Tim and AnnMarie. We decided that I would vote for AnnMarie to make it seem like I am with them, and Chris would vote Tim and claim that he didn't see the change. Kyle wants to know why Chris would vote Tim, and I told him that AnnMarie must have gotten to him. Hopefully we can convince them that she was the mastermind behind it. We shall see.

WHAT THE FUCK!!! I didn't see that coming at all. I thought for sure I was going home or at least getting some votes. Guess the game really is just starting :)

Well that was radical, I had to pretend I was off before this tribal when I was on for a half hour with Gwen. Here I learned the vote switched from Liam and Tim to AM and Tim and it made my decision easier, I didnt wanna do Tim so early but I do like AM more and feel like I dont need the shield in him to make it far. It is kind of funny that had this switch not happened, Tim would probably be here. Regardless, now is the time for damage control

youtube

Now that its the morning after I've done some thinking. My next step is going to be to ignite Petrel people to come together. I would love for us to win out til merge and keep Austin as a number, but we have to look at the bigger picture and until I see otherwise, that picture involves what's best for me and my allies, which seems to be getting Noah/Cheatham out. So I want to spend the next bit getting everyone feeling comfortable with each other again. I'm pretty sure there are people who will think I'm playing the middle, but I will stand by the vote on Tim instead of AnnMarie.

if the hosts had edgic i'd be incentivized to write more confessionals but unfortunately they only incentivize us by giving strikes for not writing any. so here i am not getting any strikes. so i won the hero challenge against annmarie, continuing thrush's win streak which is definitely about to end. the challenge is live endurance, and we are bad at that. but we've voted out the inactives so maybe not this time? one thing which i found weird was that at the reward, we were given the option to forfeit to get the results of a tribal. annmarie, who had just received 4 votes, didn't take it. tbf maybe i misread the rules and she couldn't, but that felt weird to me. i've spoken a bit with steven again, and i do not see myself going very far with him like with noah/austin. not in a cheatham way where keeping him around would be actively detrimental, but in a neutral way. also i like how my cfs are 50% perfect grammar/syntax and 50% forgetting that the caps key exists. it makes the game of reading a cf and trying to figure out who wrote it much more fun!

Kentucky Fried Austin's mist is so strong! Kidding but I am feeling like I prefer Austin staying as opposed to Kyle since it seems Kyle's heart isnt in this as much. Not to mention the way he performed in the challenge was a bit of a red flag to me.

The status quo has returned to normal, Thrush has returned to tribal council. Petrel's strategy of not sleeping won over Thrush's strategy of sleeping before beginning, apparently. I still want to vote out Cheatham, but I was a little worried because everything was a little too convenient, almost as if it fell perfectly into place. Then I realized that if Cheatham knew he was in trouble and played an idol, he wouldn't take me out. Noah is a much bigger threat in my opinion, so any surprise idol plays would likely see him go. Steven is on board, making the plan 3-2 if everything goes as expected because Amy has to self-vote. Will it go right? I sure hope so. But worst case scenario, Noah is idoled out. I mean, that would be terrible, but I'd have three more days to plan something then, so I really don't see myself being in a ton of danger tonight. this is probably my last cf

We won again! I'm still a little confused & annoyed about our tribal council because I was completely left in the dark about the AnnMarie votes, but I guess it ain't too big of a bother since I survived with no votes against me despite what I was told! I hope we merge soon because I'm so ready to take this game to the next level ya have no idea.

Man that last tribal was crazy. So I pretty much constructed the target and I had a good control of the game. However Chris voted Tim out because he wasn’t active in the last 2 hours to see the plan change. In theory I was the person that wanted Tim out so it wasent so bad but I voted Annemarie out and that put me and Gwen in jeopardy. So winning this immunity was crucial. I just hope that my relationship with Chris and Gwen are still very solid. I have Kyle in my corner we just need one more. I seemed very well liked so I don’t think I have to worry but I am nervous going to my next tribal but I do think I have a great grasp of this tribe.

I really still don't know how I wanna play this game . They are alot of good people here but I just don't know who to really trust yet. I hope a merge happens soon just so I can check in with my old tribe .

Kinda exhausted that it’s my name being brought up as the back door every fucking week. At least I have Noah who just tells me stuff. I don’t wanna act like he’s doing EVERYTHING because y’all should hear the stupid shit he brings up and i’m like “No that’s stupid”. But I honestly just expect to go to tribal and try and figure out a way to not get voted out. This idol doesn’t even make me feel safe since I might not even get to use it. I just hope we merge soon and there are more targets than just Cheatham. Mwah

well, steven is now on our tribe so it consists of me/vincent/noah/steven/cheatham. this round the plan is to vote out cheatham bc he has an idol. but everyone else will make him think that they are voting for me so that he doesn't play it. if everything goes according to plan, we will flush and idol and ill lose someone thats been coming after me for a while now

Yeah, my head is currently more cluttered than a kitchen sink so I don't have a lot to say.... but... Still really, really hoping that I can make something work with Austin and AnnMarie! I trust AnnMarie fully, Austin is still slightly questionable! I tried to get Kyle in on it too but he ignored me so...rip! I did get word not though that Liam wasn't super happy about being left out of the last plan though, so maybe we can pull him in. If we have to go to rocks at any point....I'm not scrrrrd!

AAAAAHHHH!!! just thinking back to tribal council makes my heart pound again. I was betrayed, oh my. Most everyone who was working with me changed up THEIR plan and decided to vote for me instead. Chris saved me, but I am not particularly fond of liars. Gwen, bless her heart, is very very very sneaky. Knows exactly what to say to not make herself seem guilty. Tim is gone, and that was the only thing that went according to plan. I now know where my relationships stand with my tribe mates, and things aren't looking good. I am working with Sarah and Austin now, but no one else. I fear that I am now on the bottom. Oh well! I will probably put in another confessional to go more in depth to what happened

Well we lost the challenge. Me and Noah kind of dropped the ball, leaving Vincent to fend for himself. He obviously couldn’t carry the entire tribe, even with the reward advantage(which he also won), but props to him for the valiant effort. So we’re going to tribal tonight. My streak of being the longest player to not go to tribal is finally coming to an end. I’m excited and nervous at the same time. Luckily the plan I’m apart of if pretty much guaranteed to work, so...(bye bye Amy). Hope every thing works out.

Things have calmed down since the tribal council. We won immunity again. I can't believe I posted every 5 minutes for 12.5 hours. Am I a crazy person? Probably. Did I have fun? Yes. And i got to bond with Austin so that is good. Chris and I are talking about ways to do damage control with the AnnMarie and her allies. I wish I could just tell her that I knew where all of the votes were going and that I knew she would be fine...that Tim would go home. But I can't risk her exposing that to Rizo and Kyle. So we are just going with the story that Tim told us last minute that he was targeting us and that one of us would go home if we didn't vote AnnMarie. Since Chris "didn't get online in time" it makes sense that he didn't see Tim threatening him. Fingers crossed this works! I hope we don't have a tribe swap. That could mess things up, depending on who gets switched on to each tribe. Please please please, no tribe swap!! :)

youtube

3 votes Amy, 1 vote Cheatham.

#annoucement

0 notes

pangkatze · 6 years

Text

general thoughts and notes on vld s7

yeah im no expert man, i aint no storyteller either. im just writing down the thoughts and fix-it notes me and my friend thought up after watching everything within 5 hours.

some episodes are untouched tho, mostly from ep 6 onwards, but you can see for yourself under keep reading.

okay sO,

EPISODE 1: a little adventure

we can probably agree it was a mess? shiro was on the verge of possibly dying again, and we got this weird and unnecessary side skit with coran, hunk, lance, romelle and pidge looking for,,, whatever it was actually. them having this thumbelina like adventure was so out of place???? i mean, we got a dying man here folks, why was that a thing. the flashbacks from keith were appreciated though. i just really got a lot of whiplash from the conflicting story of side a and b in this ep.

EPISODE 2: the road home

i dont have much of an impression of this ep, which is better than a bad one i guess? the whole passenger bit was a little funny, and we got to see these odd dynamics. when things got more serious the transition didnt give me a headache either, so thats a bonus. (theres a little ‘chekhovs gun’ scene i liked where lance mentions elephants to the alteans and, lo and behold, you see elephants in episode 8 when galran fleets enter earths atmosphere) (im sure there were more things like this that i spotted, but im too tired to look for them)

EPISODE 3: the way forward

coran, coran, my gorgeous man, what the fuck did they do to you? you went from eccentric but seemingly capable to,,,, whatever the fuck you were in this ep. what happened to s1 coran that defended the princess with a fucking ladle and food goo, or the coran from s6 where he was able to temporarily fix the castles issue with a fuckin alien molotov cocktail. whatever happened, it ended up fucking over coran and made him into this, which is a huge shame honestly.

ezor and zethrid serving up unexpected sapphic vibes came from left field though. i love it. keep going, you funky evil lesbians. on the other hand, axca also got to serve something content-wise, and pointing out the fact she seemed to unconsciously orbit keith after he saved her was something i wanted pinned out and solved but not like this, honestly. i mean, the whole ‘true love’ joke was a step to far, really. either way, at least she explained her motives. but where did she go afterwards? (another note: its kinda weird that, with the time skip, in a sense keith was the least affected, since hes 20 and all that. its not a bad thing though, personally.)

EPISODE 4: the feud!

yeah, uhhhhhhh, fuck this episode????

almost absolutely nothing spared me from hating this episode besides keiths drawing efforts, and maybe the final round confessions, but good GOD thats all it had for itself. the only joy i felt in this episode besides that too was seeing pidge pull a front and murk bob from his bootleg scooby-doo doughnut floatie.

fuck bob in particular

i mean, i know it was a filler episode, but dammit it couldve been something else entirely if it ended with pidges scene. you can call me biased with this idea since i avoid shows like family feud for the sake of saving myself from second-hand embarrassment, or maybe from the fact that i used to relate to an aspect of lance (that personally think got too blown up), but maybe if they got out sooner (possibly as a result of katie decking shitstain floaty-pants off his high ground) theyd follow the linear part of waking up in their lions and finding out,with courtesy from coran, that instead of some omnipotent asshole judge of ancient heroes, it was some deep-space intergalactic sentient-miasma or something that does weird mind games with heroic prey, and chose the paladins specifically for one reason or another. better than making him seem like an ally when all i wanna do when i see is face is shank him.

and with the time thats left in the ep after, our non-paladin passengers are updated by the team of this weird ass incident , before keith notices lance seems less responsive. (i was personally thinking shiro at first but then i realized hes in pidges lion, and it might not work for this next sequence) after opening a private connection to the red lion and asking whats the sitch, lance reluctantly admits to being a bit more hurt with that whole ”idiot” shtick in the feud sequence than he let on. recalling the moment from s3 with lance willing to step down for the sake of the team, keith, (albeit awkwardly, remember his and hunks talk this season) assures lance of his place and value in the team as a paladin and friend, which gets further bolstered by hunk, pidge and allura dragging both of them back into the conversation, maybe with light teasing and an (seemingly unnecessary) apology from allura for her ’rudeness’ from earlier. seems like a sweeter deal right? idk.

i just really hate bob dont mind me.

EPISODE 5: the ruins

[ill be breaking my streak of complaints for this small section of compliments so here it is.]

oh man, i actually enjoyed the beginning part of this ep, for once. i forget how big the lions actually are, so this was a pleasant reminder. the training sequence krolia made had, in a way, also eased me into the more battle driven part of the episode too so, while most likely unintentional, i liked it. hunk and kosmo interacting was really cool too and im so glad that was a thing, holy shit. and finding out kosmo wasnt even kosmo until now, and that keith didnt name him until the others did it for him seemed, pretty in character, actually.

now, the whole planet sequence wasnt as bad either i guess. kosmo couldve zapped away with more than one person (as shown before) , so why only keith? why not krolia too, if i recall, since she seemed to be next to him too, but i can be sure. side-boss diversion trope was a thing here with that druid ngl. allura’s deus-ex-machina powers dont get explained, just like a lot of other things she does, which im sad over, and think its too convenient sometimes. actually, now that i think of it, maybe im forgetting crucial info about her powers that have been stated before, cant be sure. (but hey it saved shiro and the other many times though, so i try not to be fed up with it much.)

yes, i did in fact cry over krolia and keith separating, with the hefty L word, even, thank you for asking.

and thats about it. the rest of the episodes speak for themselves, though i do have to pick on the whole adam situation before ending this since, honestly im rather upset at that. a lot of people are. hell, i guess almost a good chunk of the fandom just done and dropped the series after that. i mean. it was so.... empty?we didnt learn jack shit about him, or his relationship to shiro. he just up and went.

so. how about another restructure?

so base defenses are getting culled, not looking great. we know adam was the last one to die, so maybe in an attempt to save his own skin, he retreats. (maybe he does it in remembering the fact that shiro is alive and somewhere out there, that makes him change his mind. in the end he wants to see him again.) whether he gets back to the base, but gets seized for defying admirals orders, or whether he hides out and somehow survives long enough to be part of the small resistance, i have yet to think through. but either way, he doesnt get chewed out as badly thanks to commander holt, whos aware of his relationship to our (re)tired space dad. this is where sam and adam talk about the situation, then shiro. (this would be an opportune time to do flashbacks of them, from adams view.)

then shiro comes back with the others, and things play out the same with the exception that they both are alive and talking, instead of shiro facing a slap of wall dedicated to those who've passed. this is where the end results in them either breaking up amicably or reconciling their relationship, and they part either permanently or not, since shiro joins the debriefing and adam would do other things depending on him either being part of the resistance or a part of the garrison.

see? not perfect, but better than being dead, id imagine.

i guess that about as much thoughts as i can regurgitate tonight. if you read everything, ill give you kudos for reading a strangers ramblings over a show.

but, honestly i wouldnt give too much grief to dreamworks for this. they tried, and it wasnt a purposeful offense, i hope, not to mention we’re a season away from closing this story. and im losing my train of thought so ill stop it here, but feel free to keep talking to me abt anything i missed either here, my ask or privately.

#no apostrophes and capitalization #we die like sleep deprived teens #voltron #vld #voltron legendary defender #voltron spoilers #vld spoilers #vld s7 spoilers #pls talk to me abt it #ayo

0 notes

caredogstips · 7 years

Text

In accolade of the humble fruit fly

Drosophila, the hard-working fruit fly widely used in genetics investigate, is a lot more like us than we might care to think. Time we got to know the little pest

In a series of areas in the Fly Facility of the Department of Genetics at Cambridge University, around 5m return wings are kept in test tube at any given point in time. Theyre stored at different temperatures to adjudicate running durations of life cycle at 25 C, its about 10 dates; at jug temperatures as long as five weeks.

Out in the wild, “they dont have” pest quite so likable to human needs as the humble pomace fly. It may have spent the summer feasting on the contents of your return container, but not until your assembled plums and peaches were starting to canker. But while gastronomic predisposition are typical to be applauded in a run, the drosophila, to present it its official title, has more going for it than good table manners.

For the past century, it has also acted the crucial serve of a science and medical search tool. Today, its often the first stop in research into a wide range of human illnesses, including Alzheimers disease, Huntingtons disease, spastic paraplegia, cancer and obesity. By compared to mice and dogs, let alone apes and humans, its massively inexpensive and easy-going working in cooperation with and there is little chance of sucking dissent from even the most radical anti-vivisectionist.

In many respects its position as a crucial search tool is a historical accident. Between 1910 and 1915, the pioneering American geneticist Thomas Hunt Morgan worked on Drosophila melanogaster in his renowned Fly Room at Columbia University and been demonstrated that genes provide the basis for chromosomal inheritance, for which he won a Nobel prize winner. It was a critical breakthrough, but there was no particular reason that it had to be made via the fruit fly. Yet ever since then, the tiny drosophila has been at the vanguard of genetic research. In the 1920 s, another American geneticist, Hermann J Muller, has showed that radioactivity leads to genetic mutation in fruit wings. The reason were careful about exposure to x-rays is no tiny portion due to Mullers work.

But some of the mutations that Muller grew, such as pilots with legs coming out of their premiers, subsequently played into the postwar period of atomic paranoia, acquainted George Langelaans short story The Fly, which was constructed into a film first in the 50 s and then remade by David Cronenberg in the 1980 s.

Jeff Goldblum mid-mutation in David Cronenbergs 1986 cinema The Fly. Image: Sportsphoto Ltd/ Allstar

In the tale and the films, research scientists mutates into a wing, an idea thats shaking precise since we are experience ourselves as being so altogether differences between moves, with their strange the organizations and massive, honeycombed leaders and plainly creepy practices. This deep-seated nervousnes about runs has led to some famed misunderstands of biology. The most appalling speciman was in 2008, when Sarah Palin, extending for vice-president in the US presidential elections, told an audience that their money was going to is planned that have little or nothing to do with the public good. Concepts like fruit fly research in Paris, France. I kid you not.

Despite Palins clueless doubts, one of the reasons that operates have become important to much genetic and medical investigate in its relationship with humans is that they tolerate a impressive genetic similarity to us. The sci-fi fear of a flys otherness may well be based, somewhere direction down, on its unsettling closeness to us.

It was Michael Ashburner, the godfather of fruit fly research at Cambridge, who first established that of the genes that in their mutant anatomy campaign diseases in humen cystic fibrosis being one example around 75% have very similar equivalents in return hovers. When Ashburner started out in the 1970 s, runs were maintained in milk bottles in a temporary laboratory on the outskirts of Cambridge. As an expression of the results of his foundational act, which includes his classic book Won For All: How the Drosophila Genome Was Sequenced , Cambridge has become arguably the worlds passing centre of fruit fly research.

Its Fly Facility is run by one of Ashburners former PhD students, Simon Collier, who showed me around the labs and fly storage of the facility. Hes been working with fruit operates for 25 years and in that time hes come to know and realize many of their obscured to most human observers characteristics.

If you take a tube of runs and left open here you notice that they have practices, he alleges. The males courtroom the females. They follow the females and put one wing out and it vibrates. Theres a person in Leicester whos experimented this and what theyre doing is producing a kind of love song.

Apparently, the females are not looking for a long-term affair and, certainly, theyre likely in their short life span to have multiple spouses. The question with this for geneticists is that they store semen so paternity is a disputed issue. To counter the embarrassment of this brazen immorality, geneticists tend to work with innocent females.

How can they tell? I ask.

The look in their seeing, Collier says drily.

A colourised SEM micrograph, amplified 70 epoches. of the head of a fruit fly, evidencing compound seeing. Photograph: Tom Hartman/ Getty Images

He shows me a magnification of a onu of fruit operates that have been knocked out by carbon dioxide. Theyre still blinking but essentially stationary. He points out the differences between males( a bit smaller) and females and shows that young wings virgins if you like are pale and unpigmented.

He explains that for study determinations special chromosomes have been developed that enable geneticists to draw exactly what genes have been inherited. With mouse, for example, its necessary to check gene by gene whats been inherited, which moves genetic study much more time-consuming and costly.

Because the fruit flys life cycle is so short and they procreate so fast( sexually maturity is reached within eight epoches of incubating ), drosophila are ideal subjects for its further consideration of inherited traits, including genetic aberrations, over many generations.

Still, to the amateur, even one slightly more versed in the exigencies of scientific research than Sarah Palin, theres something intensely counterintuitive about doing genetic research on wings. For one thing, theyre so small. Doesnt that make it a whole lot trickier?

Collier shakes his head. Its fairly simple if you want to look at the fruit flys genome. You exactly place them in a tube and squish them up and do some simple DNA extraction. Whats more complex is becoming the other route implanting genetic substance into them.

He takes me to a special lab where this procedure is carried out. They take the tent-fly larvae and strip the eggs off their eggshells by putting them in bleach. Then with a long and highly fine needle, the relevant genetic material is introduced into the posterior of the eggs where the germline cells are located.

Drosophila melanogaster gaze quality variants, picturing grey and cherry-red. The grey seeing gene is sex-linked. Picture: Alamy

Given that an egg is about 0.5 mm in length( about the dimensions of the a particle of sand ), and the DNA administered into it is about the capacity of a millionth of a drop of ocean, you can see how delicate an operation it is. It takes about six months to master the instant motor skills necessary to do the job.

Usually half the embryos will survive that procedure, enunciates Collier. And we are in a position reproduction from them and examine them.

But study what exactly? And to what end?

Collier innovates me to two colleagues who are active in fruit fly research, a reader in genetics announced Cahir OKane and Damian Crowther, a director of neuroscience the investigations and change at the pharmaceutical giant AstraZeneca, who still holds links to the Fly Facility.

We go out to lunch and talk fruit operates. I expect Crowther first of all why “hed left” academic study to go into industry.

The story I tell, he alleges, is pals, and perhaps even adversaries, would ever insert me as, This is Damian, hes the tent-fly guy. In my occasion, Ive been a registrar in neurology and a research scientist in many areas I didnt conclude fly person certainly summarized me up.

OKane resembled the detail and both men agree that fly investigate has not made them either health professionals or social acknowledgment they speculate their work warrants.

What seems to matter most, to its implementation of professional appreciation at the least, is what is known as rendition, that is, passing the findings of fly research into productive contributions to medical applications for humen. There is little doubt that hovers study does contribute, in a wider appreciation of biological understanding of how all organisms piece, but also in specific examples of human illnes. However, its not easy to become direct links.

Its problematic, for obvious grounds, to lead from run tests to human experiments; there often needs to be a whole scope of happening stagecoaches in which other scientists take over and, unavoidably, take the spotlight and accreditation.

I cant tell you that theres a drug that Ive tested on return flies[ with an artificially created version of Alzheimers disease] thats benefited the fruit fly thats then gone on to benefit the human, articulates Crowther.

But, he excuses, Alzheimers commits the overproduction of proteins that species plaque in the brain that destroys neurons. So you can oblige frameworks of runs that raise these proteins, get their own plaque and succumb, he shows, and you are able to measure various ways of preventing the plaque formations.

Fruit wings dont naturally develop Alzheimers, although they have all the genetics of the Alzheimers pathway in their brain.

You have to give them human equivalent genes and push it really hard to get them to have Alzheimers in three weeks, shows Crowther.

Life hertz stages of the pomace fly, Drosophila sp, presenting larva, pupa, adult male( dark abdomen) and adult female. Image: Ed Reschke/ Getty Images

Instead of thinking of pilot research as a direct route to medical breakthroughs, its better to see it, Crowther quarrels, as a style of doing quick and dirty research. He believes that because its so cheap, it should be used in a multiplicity of ways that might spot the direction to most productive routes of research. And whenever there is drugs that have already been measured on humans and have passed safety requirements but have failed in their efficacy with the targeted disorder, they could be retargeted by first testing them on flies.

The contemplating around really bad maladies like engine neurone malady, Huntingtons disease, is if you can get anything to work in a cell culture replicated in an animal, thats the beginning as long as its safe of promptly get it to patients, remarks Crowther.

OKane is especially suspicious of overblown claims for translation. For him, the allure of the fruit fly is that it is a organism that rewards analyse in a larger context.

Im interested in it because I think its a great arrangement for finding out how living things in general can work. I conceive by understanding the principles of how tent-flies labour you are able to make better prophecies for humans. The better you understand how “were working” the most rational you can be about trying to pattern rehabilitations; I imagine even without directing your work towards therapy, you are able to speculate more intelligently about cares five or 10 years down the line.

It has been said , not least by Collier, that more know anything about the biology of the drosophila than any other animal on Earth. For speciman, we know that fruit moves have a kind of built-in compass in their mentalities that allows a sense of direction. As all animals need to know how they move, its not unreasonable to assume that its a way of universal computation.

Another study to demonstrate that male fruit moves that are rejected by a female teammate are more inclined to drown their anguishes in food spiked with alcohol than male fruit tent-flies that have succeeded in copulated. Again, a mentality chemical that governs the wings stomach and is predictive of their thirst for alcohol has an equivalent that has been linked to alcohol uptake in humans.

In another consider, this time at Oxford, it was found that fruit operates are capable of what are liable to be worded intelligent deliberation. Rather than doing solely impulsive decisions, they take time to react when will come forward with a difficult choice.

In other terms, once again their behavior could be described as human-like. It seems that the common ingredient in both human and operate action is a gene announced FOXP, which is closely linked to cognitive developed as humen. Pilots with defective FOXP take longer to arrive at policy decisions, just as flaws in the human type of FOXP have been correlated with low-toned intelligence.

It is this long and valuable history of consider of the drosophila that should guarantee its continued involvement in genetic investigate. But much of what has been very successful about working with operates is now being be repeated in human stem cell research, which has the added advantage of being species-relevant. This was the other is why Crowther moved into the private sector: the competition from stem cells meant that he found it increasingly difficult to get fruit fly-based experiment funded.

The fly is yesterdays person, he mentions, yesterdays engineering. For me, stem cells are the next fruit fly.

OKane searches fairly glum at the prospect and argues that there have been queries over the future of pomace fly study ever since he started his laboratory 25 years ago. But he maintains that the work hes done in inherited spastic paraplegia would have taken 10 times longer to perform with mouse. OKane has grown to appreciate the rich biological and social development of fruit flies in the time hes been working with them.

The more you look at their behavior, he says, the more sophisticated you realise they are. Even in aggressivenes, how a male pomace fly behaves in a fight is dependent on his previous experience of fighting with other male and female what the other males previous know-how of fighting is. Its amazing to be considered all the machinery thats involved to be able to do that. Undoubtedly were more sophisticated, because were studying them, theyre not analyse us.

For the time being, until some over-ambitious genetics professor does manage to mutate into a run, thats the practice the relationship should be pursued. And both humans and return wings, it is about to change, can drink to that.