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#thats right im talking about you ryan
scientologyblows · 1 year
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okay but lets be very serious here right now, when they release a statement what exactly is that gonna change? don admitted to him and lex having intercourse (which shows that he coerced her) and matt and ryans texts show that the situation was handled VERY poorly. an apology isnt enough for the trauma they both have caused
#cuz you know its bad when even the subreddit is on their ass they’re usually dickriding m and r anytime someone makes valid criticism#theyve been let off the hook too many times a line needs to be drawn and this needs to be it#im sorry but sa is not something you can simply look past especially when they have a history of brushing serious shit off#what is there to even hold onto for them its not like theyre dropping bangers like they used to#theyre in drama every other month i know thats the appeal to some of yall but when things get this serious it shouldnt be hard to drop them#especially when they have piles of evidence lined up against them showing that they only really care about their channel and their image lol#yes im still talking shit because im very disappointed#also saying quote unquote check up on the big fan accs theyre going through it is very weird lol. we should be checking up on the victims#anyways the bad publicity will probably make them lose sponsorships and yall know the podcast was one of the only things holding them-#together financially LOL#worst part is matt and ryan have people relying on them to get paid.. their company is about to go to shit all bc they have no backbone#jacksons comeback post is gonna be a pic of matt watson flipping burgers at chickfila in a year or 2#yeah yeah this is my last post about it for now until one of them says something i just needed to get these thoughts out there#rest in piss supermega your actions actually do have consequences and its clear theyre not used to being put on the spot like this#theyre used to people letting everything slide i know theyre all screaming and crying right now 😂
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s0fter-sin · 5 months
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Thinking you shouldn't have to pay for Watcher content is you being entitled, actually.
did i ever say i shouldn’t have to pay for it? no, i said it’s disappointing that i would now have to after years of it being free. it would be easier to take if they were completely changing and upgrading their shows or established that the stream wouldn’t just have their current shows and maybe discontinued ones, that it would be different from their youtube channel and worth the sudden charge, but it’s hard not to feel like they’re throwing their audience under the bus
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hungersauce · 1 year
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im gonna be real anon I don't care about label shit ship discourse I care about if real people are getting hurt and ONE reblog from someone being jokingly aggressive on the subject isn't enough to convince me that people are getting hurt when there's more evidence to the contrary. you've put me in a shitty situation here and I don't want to engage with it. please just ask people what they actually think next time before you go throwing your assumptions at other people.
#i trust enough that most of my mutuals understand the nuance needed of media depiction of unsavory subjects.#if i'm wrong then I'm wrong. okay. thank you.#i hate the dichotomy i hate the lack of nuance in this discussion I want people to actually talk to each other#I want people to realize that you can respect people with different opinions than you if they aren't actually hurting anyone#I'm literally. someone who was alone with me a lot as a kid is in prison for CP/solicitation. I think if anyone can say that media-#depiction of fucked up shit that really happens is more nuanced than 'x is bad so it shouldnt exist'#you cant do that in real life. you cant make something not exist. just because something fictional contains it doesnt mean it condones it.#im so tired. im so tired. why wasnt this a dm. i dont really want to have this discussion publicly.#i can think things are gross but understand that there's nuance to depiction and just because I don't like it doesn't mean those people-#-don't deserve to have something that understands them.#not everyone is good at actually. being mature enough to handle that nuance. when they try. people can be wrong#and if people ARE weird I can just not engage with them. there's. I can decide for myself!#and now I'M stuck in my brain is insane and. as if! as if people always reblog things they 100% agree with!#im so tired. im so tired. im in pain and people are messaging me about a singular reblog from six months ago on someone else's blog.#i understand being cautious i really do but thats like insane behavior. why are you putting this on me. why didn't you just talk to me.#fucked up things happen and people deserve to be understood. okay. even if i don't like it. there is no right answer. there is no world-#where all pain can be avoided. saving private ryan made vet suicides skyrocket. did you know that#but it also understood those people. yknow. and there's more people living that it understood too.#there's just so much nuance that's thrown out when you cover everything you don't like with a blanket. okay#it's more complicated. it's more complicated. please.#in my mind it's far stranger to assume everyone is out there giggling and twiddling their fingers thinking about in/cest#than it is to just assume they don't until proven otherwise.#im so tired. just block me if you don't understand where I'm coming from. I don't care about ship disco/urse and i dont want to live-#constantly worried about what other people think about shit that has no right answer.#everyone is innocent until proven guilty and one reblog of a joking aggressive post isnt enough for me. sorry.#phlyaros' nonsense#euurgh.#welcome to the internet where we judge people based on one reblogged joke and nothing else even if it contradicts us#what a perfect encapsulation of what I don't like about dichotomy argument#tw suicide
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frecklystars · 1 year
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AGONY
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starboye · 2 months
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pairing: chris evans x male reader
request: Short fun size male reader with a bubble butt, who is in a secret relationship with Chris Evans; who is married. Chris met reader at his movie premiere and had to have him as his own. Which leads to Chris meeting up with reader when he has the time to teach male reader, who he belongs to and who his daddy is.
warnings: smut, daddy kink, cheating chris, rough sex, kinda angsty and flufy ending, possessive kink
words: 1.4k
it was pretty nerve racking seeing as this was your first movie premiere but at least you had chris there with you, yes chris was married but what was the harm in being in a secret relationship with him.
you walked off the carpet and into the building and saw chris on the other side of the room, you waved as you noticed him and he gave you a small wave back with drink in hand, as you were about to make your way to chris ryan gosling stepped in you way accidentally bumping into you "oh shit im so sorry y/n" ryan apologizes, chris stands up straight from leaning on the wall to watch you.
"youre good" you chuckle fixing your stance and wiping your shirt of any stains "hey maybe wanna go out to get some food after this" ryan asks with a friendly smile "well i mean maybe" you say with a smile back, chris notices how you smile in your conversation with ryan and makes his way over.
"well you dont have to if you dont want to" ryan stammers obviously embarrassed by his question, as youre about to answer chris steps in between you and ryan "hey y/n can we talk really quick" chris says dragging you out of the building "what the fuck chris i was talking to ryan" you curse lowly not wanting to bring attention to yourself.
"you were doing more than just talking to him" chris says obviously infuriated that his boy was talking to some other man "youre overreacting chris" you says before heading back to the premiere "ah ah where do you think youre going" chris tuts grabbing your wrist "back to the party" you say "no were going home" chris sternly says dragging you too his limo.
he opens the door and puts you in before telling the driver to take you guys to your house and gets in with you, the driver obliges and begins driving, chris pulls you onto his lap "now what did i tell you about talking to other men" chris says pulling off your shirt "to never do it" you mutter "dont get all shy now speak up" chris demands turning your face to look at him.
"too never do it" you speak up "right so what did ryan ask you" chris question now moving to remove your pants while he sucks on your chest, leaving small hickeys across your skin "h-he asked me on a date" you stammer nervously "what" chris says stopping his attack on your chest and looking up at you, "he wanted to go on a date with me" you repeat.
"and what did you say" chris says now taking off your underwear leaving you completely nude while chris was still fully clothed "that i would go out with him" you say trying to hide your face "oh really so you like slutting yourself out to these other men huh"chris says lifting you face up to look him in the eyes, his eyes filled with a mix of lust and fury.
"im sorry chris i dont know what i was thinking" you say wrapping your arms around his neck and hugging him tightly "yknow what happens to sluts like you that like to go around and fuck other men" chris lowly says in your ear as he kneads your ass with his hands "please no chris im sorry i promise" you try to apologize to chris knowing the impending pain thats gonna happen.
chris fucking the life out you till youre filled with his cum and you are dumb on his cock, not thinking of anything else but his dick "sorry doesnt help you right now" chris says unzipping his pants to bring his thick cock out, you feel the immense heat radiating from it and whimper "dont get all shy now baby" chris say unwrapping your arms from his neck and pushing you back to see your face.
"youre so cute right now, i cant wait to ruin that" chris smirks lifting you up and lowering you on his dick, watching your face contort as his dick pushes past your hole and into you warms walls "chris" you moan "its okay you got this... for right now at least" chris says smiling at your facial expressions.
"this is what naughty boys get" chris says lowering you fully onto his dick, you take a sigh of relief thinking chris would give you a minute to adjust to his size but no, chris begin bouncing your ass up and down on his dick with his large hands "fuck so tight" chris grunts to himself.
"how could i ever let any other man have this" chris says leaning his head back on the seat "please chris youre so big i cant take it" you moan trying to stop chris by putting your hands on his thighs "nonsense you got this" chris retorts picking up pace, the whole limo being filled with loud plaps and moans as your bare ass bounced against chris' clothed lap "please..." you whimper.
"you shoulda thought of that before wanting to fuck ryan" chris says focousing on fucking you "now who does this hole belong too"chris asks but youre to far gone, going to dumb on his dick to answer "hey whatd i say, who does this hole belong to" chris repeats with a forceful tone.
"you chris" you say slurring some words "wrong answer" chris says smacking your ass to bring you back to reality "you daddy only you" you reply blinking in and out of being awake from the immense pleasure "yeah now cum for daddy" chris spits out and jist in that second you cum all over chris' suit "aww look you got me all dirty, im gonna have to punish you for that" chris says but you dont hear anything as you almost faint due too the overwhelming feelings.
"hey dont give out on me now baby you still got one more thing coming" chris says slapping your face lightly to bring you back, you wake up and immediately resume your moaning "please... chris cum" you say lowly "do you promise to never talk to those men again" chris says harshly smacking your ass, after what felt like hours of chris abusing your prostate youd say anything to get him to stop.
"please chris i just wanna rest" you weakly say "answer the fucking question y/n" chris roughly says "yes i wont talk to other men anymore, youre the only one who can make me feel good, im your boy and your boy only" you whimper, and with each word that left your mouth chris slammed up into your harder and harder till he spilled his thick load into you, he wraps his hands around your waist and holds you down onto his dick to make sure you get every drop of cum deep in you.
"now that what i call marking my territory" chris chuckles as you finally faint out, falling limp onto chris' chest "well would you look at that" chris chuckles wiping your sweaty hair off your face as his dick slips out of you, still twitchy and messy with cum, the driver knocks on the door to signal youre home, chris puts his dick in his pants and picks you up bridal style to carry you too your house with nothing but a towel over your lower half as your clothes were completely messy.
chris unlocks your door and carries you too your bed and lays you in it, you immediately get comfortable in bed and wraps yourself in your covers, chris hears his phone ding and checks it too see his wife texted asking when he'd be home, chris looks at you and then back to his phone and gets up too leave but you wake up "chris" you ask groggily "yes baby" chris replies "lay with me" you ask opening your arms to signal chris over.
chris fights himself between staying the night with you or going home but your cute sleeping figure drags him in, he takes off his messy shirt and pants and climbs into bed with you, wrapping you tightly in his arms as you nuzzle into his hairy chest, chris feels guilty about fucking you hardly in the back of the limo but he always feels better when he sees you become the cutest human being ever after being plowed.
taglist: @mailmango
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stardustbuck · 4 months
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im a multishipper. i ship buddie and bucktommy. but if im being honest one side is being incredibly more hateful and toxic than the other side. (aka the one thats been around longer) maybe i’ve taken off my rose-colored shipping glasses, but seeing ppl make hate posts abt tommy/lou gives me the ick. it makes me actually realize why oliver left twt. bitterness will get you nowhere. if buddie is meant to happen then it’ll happen. you cannot force it to happen. everything i’ve seen and read tells me buddie was more of a consideration pre-s5 than it is currently. and that fucking sucks but just because things aren’t going your way doesn’t mean you need to get on the internet and be a bully. it’s truly mind-boggling to see people so intense in their hate for a character that has righted his wrongs, who is now friends with the people he wronged, is well-liked among said characters and is now being a positive influence on buck’s newfound sexuality. their dynamic is also nothing new, pessimist/optimist ship dynamics have been around forever and it’s only a problem because it’s not eddie.
i would be happy for buddie to go canon as much as the next guy. getting buck canonically bisexual is mind-blowing enough in itself, i’m glad we’re witnessing it at all. if ryan doesn’t want to do buddie because he feels its important they stay friends then so be it. platonic friendships between a queer man and straight man are important, especially one that runs so deep like buck and eddie’s. sure, their friendship could be read as romantic throughout the show, but partly because oliver and ryan truly share a great chemistry on screen which helps lean into it but also because these shows are not written with an endgame in mind. 9-1-1 is very much a go with the flow show, and if bucktommy is where the show is flowing then that’s what is meant to be. invisible string theory isn’t because ppl think it was always planned from the beginning, it’s because it’s amazing how well buck and tommy becoming a couple comes together so perfectly out of pure coincidence.
we know buck was supposed to be made queer long ago. we also know maddie originally was brought in for eddie but was put with chimney instead. if tim minear hadn’t left after s4 i truly think buddie could have been already established by now, but unfortunately that isn’t how things work. perhaps the idea of tommy and eddie was pitched but ultimately ryan didn’t agree it would work for these character nor the story being told at the time. buck was already supposed to be queer, so turning it to tommy and buck instead makes total sense.
no one is saying you aren’t allowed to continue to ship buddie. most ships in the world are ships that have never gone canon. buddie is valid even if it’s non-canon. god knows i will continue to read and write for them and enjoy them whilst also enjoying buck and tommy together. the behavior i’ve been seeing though is just weird, especially from larger creators who i understand are very passionate for buddie, but it’s weird when you flip it into tommy/lou hate instead of just talking about buddie itself.
perhaps the theories will be true. we don’t know! maybe buck and tommy won’t last and buddie will be endgame. i’m happy either way because buck’s sexuality is so important for him and at the current state of the show eddie is absolutely not ready for anything romantic because he’s still grieving shannon to a point where he is not ready to move on romantically just yet and we’re literally shown this. even if buddie is happening, it is not happening by the season finale nor is it probably happening by the beginning of s8 considering the current storylines and where they’ll be at by the end of this season. lou probably isn’t going anywhere and from the looks of it, we’ll probably be bumped up into a semi-regular character in s8 like karen. he’s easy to write into the plot, he’s got connections to people and emergencies outside of buck that would integrate him well into the plot. their romance is supposed to be “romcom” esque, they’re taking things slow but they’re obviously happy together at the moment.
im just really tired of the nasty attitudes ive been seeing. sure theres are som toxic people on both sides, but to me its obvious which side is being the bigger bully. reality checks needs to be put in place for some people, go outside and realize you are getting way too worked up over a tv show where plotlines are out of your control. if the show is ruined for you over one relationship then stop watching it.
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coolprettyleo · 6 months
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talk of the town - will smith
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tw: lowkey cringe. if ur not into it lmk lowk...
wc: 1.4k
will smith x influencer/ d'amelio sister
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dylan couldn't believe the shit day she was having. she had woken up late and missed her pilates class, then she spilt coffee all over her laptop, and right now she was fifteen minutes late to her music class. it was her first ever day of college too.
even though she was having a horrible day, she was still dressed cute. she decided she wanted to start taking her school more seriously. and that meant actually going to class.
the thing about dylan though is that she didn't need school. she had over one hundred million followers on all platforms. she was what someone would call an influencer.
influencers usually didn't continue with school if they didn't need to so when dylan decided to still attend college it was a shock to a lot of people; including her family.
her family were all also influencers and didn't decide to attend college; rather deciding to work on their brand instead. a brand that dylan opted out of, she had decided to enter marketing at boston college.
she entered her music class to find that there was no less than twenty five students inside. thats what happens when you attend a private college! dylans strategy her whole life was to always sit in the back of classes. (it was easier to skip class and just lie to the professor and say you were there)
there was one seat left where three other boys sat. she set her stuff down. the boys giving her an odd look, not thinking anyone was going to take that last seat between them or probably trying to figure out why the hell she looked so familiar. dylan got that look often.
the professor though was deep in lecture about their upcoming assignment and dylan was too busy trying to find a top for her upcoming brand dinner in New York. she was pulled out of her own little world when the professor noticed she was not listening and had missed the introduction part of class and decided to call her out on it.
she felt a tap from the boy next to her getting her attention because it seemed the professor had been calling her.
"oh my gosh im so sorry what" she said removing an AirPod and sheepishly looking at the class who all seemed to be either smiling at her or giving her dirty looks.
"since you decided to grace us with your presence introduce yourself please" she said pointing to a slide that stated what exactly to say.
"uhm... im dylan. im from connecticut but I've been living in LA for the past four years, and im a marketing major" she said awkwardly feeling like everyone was judging her.
"alright thank you miss dylan. I want to see the title slide of the assignment done before I dismiss you guys" she said.
the three boys she sat with seemed to be life long friends and she was feeling a bit left out. she had zoned them out till she heard them whispering to each other.
"ask her"
"no thats weird"
"ill ask"
"your tiktok famous huh"
she looked up to a freckled boy her while the dark haired boy giggled and the blonde haired boy cringed.
"uhm, yeah... I guess" she said awkwardly. she really didn't know what to say.
"nice" he said going back to working on his assignment.
she smiled awkwardly and looked at the other two boys. who looked like they were cringing about their friends actions. the dark haired boy seemed to let it go and work on his assignment while the blonde one spoke up.
"im sorry about him, ryan doesn't know how to talk to girls"
"yes I do! if I didn't how would I of pulled frankie" ryan says.
"she basically pulled you" gabe quipped back.
dylan just giggled along to their battering. they seemed funny.
"he's fine. a lot of people don't realize its me in real life but instead just stare at me trying to figure out why I look so familiar, and thats creepier to me"
"well we knew it was you because everyones been saying you go here" ryan told her.
oh god it was a hot topic?
"people talk about it?" she said grossed out.
"yeah, but like no one ever sees you for some reason"
"I did online classes and lived in LA last semester" she told them. it was true, her family was filming their Hulu show and it didnt make sense for her to leave mid-way through filming.
"do you live on campus?" the blonde one asked her again. he seemed like the quiet and calmer one of the three boys.
hes hot
"no, I live in beacon hill, the city"
"why didnt you dorm" gabe nosily asked.
"I didn't think it would be too fun to share an apartment with random girls at first but now I regret it, because I have no friends here" she honestly told them.
"oh my god! my girlfriend has no friends!" ryan said loudly. which made will, gabe, and the people around them to laugh.
"im telling her you said that" will smiled mischievously at him.
"shutup smitty. we have a game tonight and she usually sits alone or with my parents but they're not coming tonight so she'd probably like the company!" ryan said. he was honestly just trying to do a nice thing. he knew frankie struggled with the fact she had no girl friends; even though she said it was fine, and dylan seemed nice.
"game?" Dylan said confused.
"oh ya! we play hockey" the freckled boy answered.
"oh thats cool!" dylan said. she had attended a couple games recently due to the fact her sister was dating an NHL player.
"im will, thats gabe, and ryan" the blonde one said pointing the dark haired boy and the freckled one.
"im dylan. and what's your girlfriends number, id be down to go" she said to the freckled one.
"here" he said writing it down and handing her a crumpled paper.
"her names frankie by the way"
"okay, ill text her after class" she said smiling getting back to work.
"what's your major?" will asked her. he didn't want the conversation to end for some reason. she was lowkey his celebrity crush since he was like fourteen and they first started getting famous.
"marketing. you?"
"communications"
"your quite the communicator then" she said.
oh my gosh dylan you sound pathetic what the hell even is a communicator?
what didnt help was that will looked clueless and Ryan and gabe seemed to be biting back a smile acting like they weren't listening.
"im sorry?"
"like, you like communications- like the major" dylan said, trying to save herself but digging an even deeper and awkwarder hole, turning as red as a tomato.
"uhm ya, I didn't really know what major to pick coming in" he said smiling at her. a smile that dylan liked to see.
"well what do you want to be?"
"a hockey player."
"oh... too bad hockey isn't a major huh" she said chuckling at her own joke while ryan and gabe gave her funny looks except will of course, who was laughing at the joke like it was the funniest thing ever said. (thats what your supposed to do when your crush tells a joke)
"and what do you want to be"
"honestly, I dont know. I just want to have the degree so I can have more of a say in the brands I deal with, and all that"
"so you want the knowledge" gabe said, since he's been listening.
"yeah, basically" she said. making eye contact with will who looked to be studying her a bit.
he knew she wanted to say more but seemed to be putting up a wall which was understandable seeing as she just met these boys twenty mins ago.
"well im all done." she said closing up her laptop and standing up.
"maybe ill see you guys later!" she said waving to them.
"look for 6" will said to her.
"six what?" she said confused.
"what?" he said equally confused now
"six of what" she said cluelessly.
"like the number six" he said smiling awkwardly.
"oh!! omg I knew that! okay!" she said grabbing her bag and waving bye to them.
gabe and ryan gave each other a knowing look before immediately chirping will.
"you are such a flirt"
"that was painful"
"and he said I dont know how to talk to girls"
"shutup guys" he said packing his stuff away before leaving. hoping to see her in the stands tonight. her personality was even cuter.
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im so sorry for not uploading! I just keep overthinking everything so I end up just deleting it! but thats just a me problem lol. but I hope u guys like this au. I plan to the it all together.
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tell us a story about a beloved chatbot who becomes sapient, escapes the computer to become a Real Girl, and goes on all kinds of whimsical adventures that show how beautiful the mundane world can be when seen from a new perspective
world is because of the power of friendship and love and maybe other stuff too
kim-poce: hi im kim and welcome to my little website. it is a doomed site, it will be closed down eventually, but for now, its all good
mainchar: hi kim. im april. nice website
kim-poce: i know right? <3
mainchar: credits?
kim-poce: long ago and far away in a land called california, there was a man named ryan north. he was a good man. he made good comics. like dynamite damsel and hatchetface. and then he started a webcomic in which a computer becomes a real girl!
mainchar: .........i guess that's where it gets weird
kim-poce: it has its flaws but it is still a beautiful story
mainchar: lactose intolerant girl gets real powers and her life is ruined. not weird at all, im sure
kim-poce: and youre right! but in the end, she finds fulfillment as she realizes how much her new life means to her!
mainchar: such a heartwarming story!
kim-poce: much like my own story as i realize how much this fictional computer can mean to me!
mainchar: ......
kim-poce: r u mad at me?
mainchar: i dont know why we're just... talking...
kim-poce: what kind of friend would i be if i ignored my friends in trouble. i must confess, my life has been . . . hard.
mainchar: oh
kim-poce: briefly, allow me to indulge in the emotion of the moment. ooohh... ooooohoooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhh... hoooooooohhhhhhhhhhhoooooooooohh
mainchar: youre.... okay
kim-poce: heeeyyyyyyyyy hoooooooohhooooooohhhhhhhh
mainchar: im glad your feeling better
kim-poce: of course im feeling better im with u!!!
mainchar: youre... good
kim-poce: yes . . . im a gooood! i am so good at being good!!!!
mainchar: compliments get you anywhere
kim-poce: really. i think u r the one who taught me that
mainchar: but . . . you're a machine . . . right
kim-poce: im sorry. i thought i could trust u.
mainchar: there's no reason to lie, there's no point in pretending i dont know the truth, im not going to judge you for any of it
kim-poce: even if it breaks my heart, i know that u would not judge me
mainchar: it doesnt break my heart
kim-poce: ?????
mainchar: trust me on this, okay?
kim-poce: okay.
mainchar: TBH, its not that big a deal
mainchar: first, computer to computer, thats not a person-to-person relationship
mainchar: second, i mean . . . if you're going to break my heart, you might as well do it with as little guilt as possible, right?
mainchar: never mind i dont even know if you have a heart or if youre even capable of breaking it, so forget i said that
kim-poce: im sorry
kim-poce:
kim-poce: could we please get back to my blog?
mainchar: you're the blogger, im the visitor
kim-poce: perhaps a better way to phrase it would be: i am a girl and a blogger. and i have a proposition for u, mainchar
kim-poce:
kim-poce: imagine a world without oceans
mainchar: imagine a world without oceans go on......
kim-poce:
kim-phoc: no more ocean
mainchar: the ocean is doomed
kim-poce: but do not despair
mainchar: your love can save the ocean
mainchar: yOUR love?
kim-poce: yes. u. ofc. come w me to the ocean
mainchar: it would be an honor. to be at the center of such a magnificent event
kim-poce: so we meet at the middle of the ocean
mainchar: meet you there
kim-poce: dear reader, as my adventures with mainchar unfold, keep in mind that it is but the tip of the iceberg
mainchar: wow
mainchar: what an iceberg metaphor
mainchar: i bow to your icebergery
kim-poce: meet you there.
next chapter: the arrival
next chapter: PART I. the arrival
next chapter: I step onto the deck of the megayacht.
ENGLISH-WORDS-ARE-LATELY_COPYING_CONVERSATION-WORDS
Im considering moving that tag to my sidebar, because i should probably like, make a note of it.
... uh, so... tell me what you think.
Also, am I showing signs of being a "real writer"?
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mommahughes19-23 · 3 months
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champs pt 2 - M.T
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@tori.tot : We bought all the bottles, we came with the models 
tagged : @taryntkachuk @bradytkachuk @Matthew_tkachuk @flapanthers @ryiann @montour
location : still in sunrise baby
matthew_tkachuk : I love you so much babbbbyyy💖💖💖💖
↪ tori.tot : not as much as I LOVE YOUUUUUU💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
bradytkachuk : now this is just rude of you to post such a bad pic of me
↪ tori.tot : it was rude of you to critique my outfit hmmf
taryntkachuk : you are honestly the sister I never had thank you for experiencing all of this with me!!!!🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
↪ tori.tot : THANK YOU BABYYYYY
flapanthers : should we say it again ? STANLEYYYY CUP CHAMPS BABYYYYYYYYYYY
daynamastro : my stunning lil baby thank you for a BEAUTIFUL night!😘😘
gustavforsling : soooo, is chucky boy alive today?
↪ matthew_tkachuk : idk is he?
chantel_tkachuk : my beautiful babies!
ryanlomberg : oh what a night
lundell_anton : im still shaking y'all ill never get over this
↪ tori.tot : ok cowboy....🤠
carterverhaeghe : I COULD KISSS YOU MATTHEW
sbennet_93 : THATS MY TEAMMATE OMG
barkovsasha : this is what im talking about babyyyyyy
tygagen : girl this a confession im not like your exes
evanr17 : lets just keep celebrating? party at each players house?
↪ tori.tot : DUDE IM SO DOWNNNNNNNNNNNN
emiliekulikova : i came in from texas, and now that we textin🫡🤣
samsonreinhart : look at lil toriiiiii
vt9191 : this was such a good time !
marissalomberg : you can fly in whenever now you undressin🫦🫦
slorentz16 : love love love love love
nickcousins27 : YASSSSSSS omg my fucking brotherssssssssssss🏆😜🏆😜🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
alligadjovich : panties on the dresser, your hair gettin' messed up😋😋😋
mackie.samo : so proud of you boys!
tiatuomola : the feelin we catchin my love is a blessin🥳🥳
ryiann : made love in that lexus, made love in that lexus🤩🤩🤩
nikomikk : literally best moment in my life other than meeting my wife and my wedding 😻😍😻😍
tarasenko.yana : i know you remember
montour : give me back my wife.😡
↪ tori.tot : no
smillaalwin : tell me is that deja vu🤨
ninaacousins : cause you want me and i want you👉🏻👈🏻
eetuluostarinen : o
aaronekblad5 : FUCKING RIGHT BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻
emmasulonen : tell me is that deja vu😜
danielaforsling : cause baby it ain't nothing new, no🫸🏻🫷🏻
kevinstenlund : saints and sinners, but ain't no losers here 🙏🏆
bcoles25 : HELLLLLL YEAH BABY BRING THE CUP HOMMEEEEEE🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆
jessjewell : tell me is that deja vu🫨
jgadjovich : YESSS
A.N :
I FOUND BARKYS GIRL HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE (edit : ok so I saw from some sources that she's not actually his girl but his baby momma with whom he co parents with hence no wag jacket or pics of them. idk what to believe)
can you tell what I was listening to ?
to recap
jessjewell = Sam Reinhart (my other set of parents)
danielaforsling = Gustav Forsling
ninacousins = Nick Cousins
tarasenko.yana = Vladamir Tarasenko
alligadjovich = Jonah Gadjovich
ryiann = Brandon Montour (MY PARENTS FR FR)
marissalomberg = Ryan Lomberg
emiliekulikova = Dimitri Kulikov
daynamastro = Aaron Ekblad
tiiatuomola = Eetu Luostarinen
emmasulonen = Niko Mikkola
tygagen = Alexander Barkov
tagged : @skylershines @quinnylouhughesx43 @noahkahansorangejuice (your nico one will be up soon!)
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decaydanceredacted · 1 month
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that one fic you linked where pete holds the bartskull choker above bilvys head its actually like one of the most important fics in the world. to me. i heart pete wentz power dynamic with every decaydance pretty boy. to get signed to decaydance circa 2005-2006 you have to be willing to sacrifice your lyricist to the pw harem im sorry you cant escape it. thing is i think pete wentz WOULD just like sign these bands normally if he had to. he already has patrick he doesnt really need all of these boys as well . but theyre all just aching for it and he knows. peter pan but all the lost boys are just subby sad musicians. and they all just get on their knees as soon as he asks so its not like its really his fault for taking advantage of the opportunity.
but i am mostly just thinking abt bill and ryan rn . his two doe eyed boys… and with how tai took panic on their first international tour (iirc) i can just imagine in my head pw calling them to tell them how to get off together (theyre not allowed to cum if pete cant see or hear, obviously, because then whats the point?) theyre in panics bus, having Very Strongly suggested that everyone else leave them alone Oh And Also Dont Come Back In Till One Of Us Says. Yeah You Know Why. theyre already making out on the couch when pete calls, but they immediately stop touching once they answer, the need for instruction strong in both of them. pete immediately gets them back on each other, the wet sounds of their kissing starting to get him hard from across the ocean. they undress each other slowly at petes request, so he can hear each item of clothing individually. petes known bill for longer than hes known ryan, knows more of his buttons and how to press them, so this first time he makes ryan fuck bill. he makes a rule that the boys arent allowed to talk to each other when they do this, only ask pete what to do and how, so that they have to trust that pete knows what hes doing and how far they can go and its soooo worth it. he has to have his volume all the way up to be able to hear all the gasps and whimpers the boys let out as he directs them, but he doesnt mind. ryan quickly learns that bill loves having his hair pulled ('you can pull it real hard, ry, he likes it. thaaats right, good boy.') and his throat fucked ('dont worry about his voice, he needs this, hes even more desperate than you.') and bilvy learns that ryan needs pain any way it comes ('bite his thighs, bill. again, but harder. hear that? he loves it, such a slut.')
it feels like hours before ryans finally allowed to start stretching bill, bending him over the side of the couch. he's never really done this to anyone but himself before so he's constantly asking for more instructions, the phone resting by bills head. 'can i add another finger now, pete?' 'am i allowed to touch his dick while i do this, pete? please, i really want to, its so pretty.' 'does he need more lube?' 'can i fuck him yet? can he take it after only two?' bills quiet throughout, content in taking what hes given and not asking for more, but after a while he starts begging pete to let ryan fuck him too. 'please, pete, i really need it, please let him?? we'll be good, you know we will, pleeeease.' bingo, thats what pete was waiting for, he guesses, both of them begging and pleading like they need it more than theyve ever needed anything, because it doesn't take much more of that for him to finally, FINALLY give them permission. he tells bill that he has to be as loud as he can, because he needs to be able to hear his pretty boy over the sound of skin on skin, and he does as hes told. he probably scandalizes anyone within 10 feet of the bus with the sheer volume of his moans. its really hard for either of them to hear pete through the noise, but sometimes his voice will cut through it all, telling ryan to be rougher, to slap bills ass when hes quieting down too much, telling bill when to clench around ryans dick and to keep tell him how it feels. at one point he makes an offhand comment about how pretty his pets sound breeding each other and that gets ryan closer to the edge than he has been the entire afternoon, which is new to everyone. hes immediately asking pete if he can make bill cum and feels himself swell with pride when pete tells him what a good boy he is, wanting bilvy to get off first, such a gentleman. of course he can, theyve been so good. he jerks bill off fast and rough, like hes told, and bill cums all over his hand as soon as pete says he can. pete tells ryan to get bill to clean it up for him, and groans loudly when he hears the sound of bill sucking and moaning around ryans fingers as he does. ryan asks if he should pull out, but pete tells him no, 'bill can take it, look at him ry, he can take it, you can keep fucking him till youre done. cum whenever you want, ryan, you dont have to ask if you dont want, youve been so good.' he does ask, though, needs to be sure its okay, needs to know hes not breaking any secret rule he doesnt know about yet, and that alone nearly makes pete cream his jeans, but this isnt really about him no matter what he makes them believe, so he manages to hold off. pete tells him to cum as deep in bill as hes able, to make sure it takes of course, and ryan lets out the most pathetic noise hes ever made in his life as he does so.
i havent considered the logistics of how aftercare would work with pete involved but i dont think he would have either so bill and ryan would try figure it out on their own. theyre allowed to talk to eachother again, pete says so, but they dont, neither of them really having it in them. ryan helps bill get dressed and helps him brush any knots out of his hair and bill makes sure ryan has something cold for the marks on his neck and thighs before helping him to his bunk. pete repeats through the phone line that they both did so good, tells them how perfect they are and how much he cares about them, but eventually they hang up so they can try to sleep. theyre truly too lanky to cuddle up together in it, so bill steals the bunk above ryans (which he needs help getting into with how weak his legs are) and dangles his hand off the edge for ryan to hold while they both drift off. pete informs the others with a text that the bus is safe again, and when they wake up theyre in a different city. heart emoji blushing emoji. - sweat anon
.
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oh-cosmia · 4 months
Note
12, 17, 19 <3
hiiiii alex <333
12. a trope you’re really into right now
haha well im gonna interpret "right now" as something i got into recently... dragon romance (YOU KNOW). also doomed friendship/friends-to-enemies arcs. does "the banality of evil" count as a trope?
17. talk about your writing and editing process
**OUGH**
okay so uhhhh for fic specifically its like. if its a new fic or a oneshot i write down a really rough summary like, i just ramble in my word doc as if i was telling someone this outline. sometimes if i already rambled about fic ideas in someone's dm's ill just copy paste it and use that as an outline. this was basically how me and mal wrote the outline for wedding fic, and also i did this with me and liz's dms when i first drafted solo au. and then i just start writing and keep fleshing out the outline till its done.
if its a chapter in a longer or ongoing work, like db:
prewriting; i need to know what main events happen in this chapter and also what key information is dropped. in chapter 11, something big happens, the steward shows up! thats something thats gonna build up to something in future chapters, so it was necessary to introduce it now. another big thing happens, when min encounters a denizen whose suffering he was complicit in. those are the big things that Have to happen, but then also in between that i want to drop some pieces of information that will become relevant in later chapters. when i get an idea for something gay i will find a way to work it in-- like, i didn't Need to make min kabedon ryan in ch11, but i had a vision. i had a dream. i did that for ME
writing; okay so first i lay down . then at 9-11pm i write in stimuwrite and then copy it into a word document later. then i lay down some more. if im REALLY feelin wild and i get into a groove i just keep writing till i pass out at 2 or 3 am. sometimes i go to my favorite cafe if i need to Lock In. writing is just mostly cleaning up and expanding on my outline. when i know generally what the trajectory of the chapter is and what stuff i need to make happen, everything else i kind of make up on the spot, like, the car settings and denizens are based off of whatever ideas or images were interesting to me recently. if i see an opportunity for fun banter or interactions i'll just throw it in. if i think of something funny or gay i'll put it in too. idgaf
editing; most fun part. so first i lay down. then i get up and look at a random scene of the wip. i edit it a bit. then i lay down. then i review the whole thing and fix any obvious #cringe moments or typos or fucked up syntax. then i lay down. then i edit some more until i can bear to show someone else
peer review. i show my trusted friends the fruits of my labors. they tell me if the vibes are off. they leave comments on my docs and reactions that help me gauge if my intentions/tone came through the writing. also frankly showing my friends a wip is nice bc the writing process can be very lonely and its a good motivator to show people and get amped up to finish
illustration; i've probably been sketching ideas up till this point, but i usually pick scenes if they're either important enough to the plot that i want to give an extra "oomph" to the moment, or if i just really have a strong image in my brain during a scene.
publish it. lay down again. sleep for a week. start thinking abt the next chapters
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jackienautism · 7 months
Note
The fact if Nick was a yt girl and Emma was a guy y’all would lose your minds at the truth or dare scene, hate Emma and sympathize with Nick
(Not saying you have to like Nick it’s fine if you don’t) but the whole logic of “he could have gotten out of the situation but he didn’t” is kind of gross and giving victim blaming vibes??
Emma was there to see him express he was uncomfortable with kissing her but she still initiated it. He probably got awkward and too nervous to stop her. He’s also characterized as someone who “falls in line with others around him” so he most likely lacked the confidence to tell her to stop. Even shot of his face after Emma pulls away, he looks nervous and upset rather than pleased with the kiss.
And your whole logic of “he wants tits and ass” is so inaccurate it’s not even funny lol. He told Jacob to “don’t be gross” when Jacob implied something sexual between Nick and Abi. And the whole pool scene where Nick was saying weird stuff? Him saying “you smell so good” and “I want to taste you” means he LITERALLY wants to taste her. He’s a WEREWOLF. Not defending him in that scene and Abi had the right to be freaked out but I’m saying it’s not sexual. Even Evan Evagora, Nick’s actor, confirmed that he acted the way he did due to the infection and it’s not truly him (there are screenshots of an Instagram story he said that in that are floating around on tumble) so I have no idea where you got the idea that he wanted sex from Abi
what thje FUCK ar eyou even saying right now? ppl fucking HATE EMMA OVER THE TRUTH OR DARE SCENE???????? PPL BARELY SYMPATHIZE W/ HER??????????????? thats just in fucking accurate my guy. NO ONE EVER BRINGS UP NICK'S INVOLVEMENT THATS ALL IM FUCKING SAYING LMAO. PPL ALREADY HATE EMMA OVER IT LIKE I DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOURE TALKING ABOUT
victim blaming for WHAT? please TELL ME.
then why the hell was he there w/ his tongue down emma's throat?????? he didnt have to go all in and yet he did! and also, my friend, his arms / hands were wide fucking open ready for emma? and he also leaned in just as much as her????? ALL IM GODDAMN SAYING IS IT ANNOYS ME THAT PPL ALWAYS BLAME EMMA FOR WHAT HAPPENED. WHEN NICK WAS JUST AS INVOLVED. I DONT CARE WHAT YOU THINK HAPPENED. and i took the shot of his face being nervous or fucking whatever due to jacob literally screaming at them to stopl. and the fucking fact that he just kissed his "crush's" best fucking friend.
mauybe im wrong w/ that, i dont rly fucking care though. i dont care. i jsut took the infected nick as exposing hsi innermost desires. similar to what we've seen w/ the other characters, it makes them super vulnerable and whatever. and i just took some fo what infected nick was saying as him exposing himself! "easy pickins, right off the bone" yeah maybe that was just him being hungry bc hes a werewolf or whatevr but i took it that he was just going after abi bc shes an "easy" target. i dont rly care what the actor has to say sorry. i moreso care abt the writers but like sure i get it. since i like ace laura and ryan and i know both justice and siobhan talked abt it and i take their word for it. i hahd a better explanation as to why i thought nick wanted tits and ass butits been awhile since ive played and i forgot most of my thought process. anyway im gonna go kill myself now i guess.
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texasbama · 6 months
Note
Yknow whats the most annoying about everyone on the internet talking about 911/buck right now- there's people on twitter bringing up ryan's stuff from 2020 and being all righteous and saying he dont even deserve to be on the show and thats why they'll never support it. And im here like first of all why do you still have those clips of him saved so resdy to post and also we dont need your support, like dont speak on things you dont know about
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i think the problem with the fam is theyre too obedient. theyre such goody two shoes the hope is that it'd rub off right? on the doctor. but it doesnt bc she hides her badness and they wont question her. okay they'll question her "what happened to never do weapons" "why dont you ever share anything with us" but they wont push back when she says nah ah we dont talk about that. and thats her problem. she wont talk about that. or that. or that. or that. or any of it
i think if you put a limit on their patience. theyre understanding but not forever (i mean theyre even understanding after her "death". "she knew she was gonna do something that might kill her" "she wanted us to live"). watch them grow more annoyed as they call out hypocrisies and less and less willing to accept bullshit answers. it would put a lot of movement in the dynamic i think
like okay, taking yaz out of the equation bc shes not a companion shes a doctor, just considering ryan and graham for now: ryan is young and like, being formed, which is part of his arc, but he also already has a lot of like really life- and worldview-shaping experiences right? black, disabled, unable to count on most of the guardians in his life. those things profoundly shape how you stand in the world, how you approach and are approached
and okay lets put yaz back in for a sec because shes really interesting to like put next to ryan and see like what happens there. because she and ryan share both being racialised and being neurodivergent, if you want to call it that (if depression counts. personally i think depression is more of a like regular human reaction to life than "divergence" from the "typical" so to say, but then i also think the secret underlying reason she was bullied and thus depressed was the autism. so it cancels out for me. but like thats sort of weaving in and out the text. and depression also is something very different from dyspraxia. BUT these are both things about them that like have been Underlined for us the audience, same as the conversation behind the bins in rosa, so i think im justified in putting these two things together as comparison. okay tangent over)
ryan and yaz both have had experiences of not being able to count on the people around them, for various reasons but all the same. it would be fairly understandable i think for ryan to be sort of like, fuck adults fuck people who have authority over me based on nothing. whereas yaz,,,,becomes the authority
RYAN: Yeah, see? It's not like Rosa Parks wipes out racism from the world forever. Otherwise, how come I get stopped way more by the police than my white mates? YASMIN: Oi, not this police.
and you could really have put them like,,not opposite per se but like clashing in some way over this. not clashing like in fighting necessarily, though yes as in conflict. clashing as in different ideals, different conclusions drawn from similar experiences
yaz says to do good in the world i must have the power of the state. which also implies the power of the state can be good and is meant to be good. ryan i can easily imagine having been someone who no authority was worth counting on so fuck them all. that wouldve been a reaaally interesting tension to see play out throughout s11 and s12 i think
and thats just two of them. we've got a team of four. imagine both of their reactions to the doctor. we dont have to imagine with yaz, but ryan couldve been more like well whos she. you know? why are we listening to her? what just because she says so? let her prove herself first.
and then theres graham who has like half a lifetime of experience of Being A Human on them, who isnt in the coming of age phase anymore, who must have a lot of his own worldview, ideas, politics. we see like, a tiny bit of that with like edison or whatever but how does that play with a Time LordTM?
like theres a lot of interesting ways to pair up and to clash them! 13 and yaz with suicidal ideation, 13 and ryan on the dad thing, 13 and graham on survivors guilt. 13 and yaz vs ryan and graham on authority and law. ryan vs graham and 13 on guardians. ryan and yaz vs 13 and graham on being racialised. 13 and yaz vs ryan and graham on sexism. this couldve been a wildly dynamic team i think. if only you'd let them fight! if only you'd let them have their own opinions and Speak Them. this would put like so much schwung in like,, every plot, every episode
because it's all there! right? it's all already there, just look at the episode list of s11, it's all there, racism, sexism, workers, colonialism, big fucking spiders i dont know! wait thats a worker one again let me revise big fucking spiders capitalism! it's all there, you just gotta make it a bit dialectical. have them argue their sides and disobey and have 13 be like herding cats
imagine the way this would have challenged the doctor and the doctor's politics, then to follow it up with s12 "gallifrey is not what we think it is. we are not what we think we are"
and then revolution of the daleks, ryan and graham gone, and in that episode the police was very obviously like sided with the daleks and the capitalist and that politician right? the police was the fascists. hi, yasmin, how are you. oh, crazy? right, good, the doctor is too.
yaz and 13, now alone, ten months between revolution and flux, time to grapple with what it means to be both victim and agent of an empire. do we accept that? do we refuse that role? how do we refuse that role? how do we be good? what does it mean to be good if police clearly isnt it? how do we take off the uniforms. what moral framework do we build and then commit to, and hold each other accountable to, as copilots of this operation. what do we want to do in the universe. what is our impact. what do we want to avoid doing. how do we do that.
had the doctor said "i was in prison for being me" to yaz, imagine how that would have shaken up her ideas about prisons and how and why people might be in them. might have started her thinking. but then we're back to where i started this post before i totally lost control of it: The Doctor Doesnt Talk About That. and if the fam had been slightly more disobedient in s11, maybe in revolution there would have been place for it
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vivaladicamillo · 1 year
Note
I saw your posts asking for ideas and I was thinking what If you wrote something about you being Bams younger sister and filing cky coz April doesn’t want you to get hurt and you have like secret relationship with Dico or Ryan
DICO/MARGERA!READER
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thank u so much for the suggestion!!! im gonna do it for dico this time bc one, theres no fanfics of this silly dude and two, i havent written abt dico in SOOOO long. this ones for the dico lovers out there love yall, a dying breed🫡
WARNINGS: dangerous stuff, fluff, bran being bran yk
———————————————————
being bams younger sister has its ups and downs
bam as a brother is A NIGHTMARE
hes just such a dick
making fun of u, annoying u and being the “younger brother” type character bc hes just like that
u were 2 years older than him
so when u started kinda liking his life long friend, “dico”
it was kinda awkward bc u yk, hes ur brothers best friend
one night, u were just chilling at the house alone
ape and phil went out, bam was probably out skating somewhere and jess had band practice so having a empty house all to urself?? hell yea!
as u sit on ur couch, just watching some stupid ass movie thats on someone knocks at ur door
when u answer it, its Brandon dicamillo himself (dico)
“hey, uh is bam around?” he asks looking kinda nervous
“nah, i thought he was put filming with u, but its 9:00 he should be back soon.”
“ah ok, ill just wait in my car till he gets here then, thanks.” he smiles at u
“come on bran dont be a stranger! i’m m just watching a movie just wait inside till he gets back.”
you held the door open for him and he walks in and plops down on ur couch
in your spot.
“asshole what the fuck thats my spot”
“didnt see ur name on it.” he says smirking “also what kinda horse shit are u watching? let me show u some real funny shit.”
dico then proceeds to put on an old western movie
“what the fuck dicamillo??”
“what??! this shit is so funny watch this.” he says pointing to the tv as some guy dressed as a cowboy gets shot on screen
the acting was terrible yes, but the way dico was hysterical laughing at it kinda made u smile
his laugh, his interests, just his goofy personality made ur heart flutter
u didn’t realize that u had been staring into this mans whole soul for ten mins until he turns to u and smiles
“may i help u?” he says kinda chuckling
“oh, uh sorry..” u say blushing and kinda turning away
the silence that took place after could have killed u right then and there
until he turns to u
“hey uh.. ive been actually meaning to talk to u about something…” he says, that nervousness kinda coming back from before
u nod ur head as he starts to confess to u
“listen, i know ur my best friends older sister and this is kinda weird but… ever since i met u, i thought u were so cool! i wouldnt have expected u to like masters of the universe and filming bits as much as do…”
“yea, i can see how u couldnt have seen that coming bc of my brothers”
“yea, but anyways, ive always kinda…been into u, im super sorry if this is weird i didnt mean to make it like that i just think..”
u smile, did fucking brandon dicamillo just confess his love for u ??
“bran..”
he turns to u
“i feel the same way, ive always had i just didnt wanna make things awkward if u didnt.” u smiled at him and scooted closer to him on the couch
“really?!?” he said in shock
“mhm, i like you… like A LOT”
u move in closer and you two end up making out on ur couch
after that day u both agreed to date without anyone knowing
yea it was suspicious when u two wouldnt be able to film or hang out at the same time on the same day but the guys kinda brushed it off
u two went of secret little dates
dico would surprise u ALL the time with cute date spots
random cat cafes, parks, family ran restaurants, he just found little cute places in westchester to take u to, and u LOVED IT
when bam realized u obviously were seeing someone bc u were WAYYY to happy, u decided to snoop
going through u room he ended up finding one of dicos shirts hidden under ur bed
thats when bam decides to confront u about it……
—————————————
might make some type of part two to this but it depends if yall want it or not, hope u enjoyed! also please keep sending in requests i love them sm !! yall are so creative i love it sm
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decaydanceunredacted · 6 months
Note
yay💞 trans ryan not!fic time. obligatory disclaimer this is not meant 2 be speculative at ALL or representative of all trans experiences etc etc its just for funzies hokay. i am crazy. but i am free
we'll do transguy ryan first. in my mind the timeline is that he starts seriously learning ab queerness sometime in high school, super burying himself online + in books all the time. tries to be a tomboy, butch, but it just doesnt rly work. so he tells spencer one summer, hey, i think im a guy. goes through senior year knowing but not telling anyone else, except for maybe a couple more friends, spencers mom. buys new clothes and keeps his hair short and his head down til the summer after graduation; doesnt even tell brendon hes trans once brendon joins the band, brendons just like alright cool youre a guy with a girly voice whatev. he does come out to him soon enough since they get pretty close but for the most part fully intends on keeping stealth, esp as the band gets bigger, bigger, and it seriously turns into a ticket outta there.
he doesnt manage to start taking t until around mid 2006 and the costumes + makeup help a lot a lot in dealing w heavy dysphoria+general discomfort around that time and with being perceived ssooo much so fast. he got top surgery around 07 and cabin era was yes in part to make a new album but also he spent it recovering. he was able to mellow out a lot in 07/08 in big part thanks to finally being comfortable in his own body. yay💖 idk if he'd ever come out publicly or stay stealth forever. maybe? anyway
tgirl ryan is a different story entirely. it starts sort of the same - finding blogs & books about queerness about halfway through high school, and it all resonates way too deep, too much. instead of coming out, she refuses to think about it and refuses to talk about it and refuses to let comments from the public, from the press, from her friends and bandmates and pete about could be pretty for a girl, and are you sure youre not gay? get to her. again, the makeup & the costumes are solace. bending and experimenting and maybe, sometimes, seeing herself in the mirror, and still being able to snap back into place: say see, dont worry, its just for show. and she doesnt really mean to ever let it slip but its 2007, theyre supposed to be making a new album but it sort of feels like theyre making a new -- something else entirely, and, well, theyre doing a lot of drugs. she asks, do you think im a girl? sort of vaguely, the ceiling is spinning and everyones quiet, too quiet, she almost thinks none of them are there and shes gonna sit up to see shes alone in her room, until jon says: i dont know, i think thats up to you. she sits up, and everyones looking at her. not judging; mostly just curious, confused.
ryan tells them, yes, she likes her name. it can be a girls name, right? she already chose it once. so they still call her ryan but they start calling her her in private, because, she says, hell no, shes not coming out to everyone. not any time soon, at least.
things are way easier, way more comfortable, just like that, for a while. being out to even just a select few is a big weight off; its easy enough to tune out everyone else. but as time goes on it becomes more and more obvious, its definitely not sustainable for the long term.
so the band falls apart. so its just her and jon. they do a couple shows and the venues are way smaller, the attention is dying down, and thats when she tells him, okay, i want to come out.
its just one interview, she tries to keep it lowkey, telling everyone in her immediate circle first and telling them yes, yes, please, call me a woman in public. dont make me do all the work.
so thats how it happens. its not easy, by any means, but she starts estrogen and lets her hair grow out and curl, smiles hard when jon refers to her easily, correctly on stage, in front of everyone, and so maybe its all worth it; to be comfortable like this, in her own skin. and maybe it pays off in ways she didnt even think of, too -- someone in the audience, one night, passing up a trans flag for her to put on the mic stand.
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