hey jesties guess what
it's my birthday!!!! and my doc needs to see me in person before approving my next years’ worth of medication refills (for some reason they don’t like handing out several hundred mgs of lamictal and seroquel for free) and since my ass is uninsured and i live in the grand ol usa it’s gonna cost me a few hundred buckaroos. if you are willing and able to throw me some dough, here is my ko-fi, within which you can find lots of pictures of me in clown makeup and also some small posts outlining various niche fool-related history topics.
also, as further incentive, check out this freakin' gnome generator i made if you haven't before and make yourself some gnomes with randomly generated images, names, and stats!
use it to make your gnomesona. use it to make a fictional gnome family. use it to create a single player ttrpg where you just create a bunch of different gnome factions and have them fight to the death and the last gnome standing gets printed out and placed on your fridge as a reward. whatever you do just be sure to tell me about it in my guestbook on my website. oh and also check out the other pages on that site. there's some other cool shit in there i promise ;o)
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! I made an interesting realization just now in the shower! On a couple of occasions, Eragon and Nasuada suggest that Murtagh should act in the way Tornac would have as a way to change for the better and, ultimately, change his true name to free himself from Galbatorix and fight for them instead. Eragon insinuates this without directly mentioning Tornac: "Look at someone whom you admire but who has chosen paths other than your own through life and model your actions upon his." But in the context of Murtagh's backstory, this advice strongly evokes Tornac. And Nasuada outright names him: "Ask yourself: what would Tornac have wanted you to do?"
But that's a very curious demand for them to make because Murtagh is already emulating Tornac. Consider what we know about him. Tornac served Galbatorix, he would have had to for the king to entrust him with Murtagh's care. They lived in Uru'baen together as Murtagh grew up with Tornac raising him and he would have had to be in Galbatorix's service for all that time. Yet, he had no love for the king given that, when Murtagh wanted to abandon the Empire and flee, he was immediately ready to join him and help him leave that very same night. So he served the Empire for many years even though he had no true desire to be support them or the king, in order to provide the care and protection that Murtagh needed, until Murtagh was ready to make his own choice and take his own risk and Tornac turned his back on the king for him without hesitation.
That's exactly what Murtagh is doing. By yielding to Galbatorix and complying with his commands, Murtagh is doing the same thing for Thorn. He's bowed to this broad, great evil so he can look after the needs of an individual when no one else is willing nor able to. He does what he does to prevent Thorn from being tortured, to keep him from being broken, helpless against the king were Murtagh to abandon him. So he doesn't, the same way Tornac never abandoned him. And in the end, they rebel in a very similar way too. When Thorn is ready to carve his own path and fight for the right to claim his own life for the first time, and Murtagh wants to reclaim the life he desired but thought lost, they stand by each other and break free from Galbatorix.
For him to act the way that Tornac would requires that period of reluctant subservience so he can save the one he loves most. They ask Murtagh to follow Tornac's example, ignorant to the fact that the actions they so disapprove of are doing exactly that. And I wonder if this is a root of Murtagh's defining anger, an anger at Eragon and Nasuada's implication that the compromises that saved his own life and provided him much needed love and support through his childhood- the compromises that saved Thorn, the partner of his heart, when no one else (certainly no one from the Varden) would have helped him- were wrong. That they were immoral, they were not worth while, they were not enough, they fell short, they were wrong. Because such an implication is really a dismissal of Murtagh and Thorn's wellbeing- arguably of their lives.
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the madelines! moon, mars, venus, and uh... that guy?
[image description: four headshots of original characters. on the top left is moon, who is a dark-skinned older woman with short white afro hair and freckles. on the top right is an unnamed dark-skinned man with dyed burnt-orange locs pulled into a ponytail, stubble, one blind eye, and a large mole. on the bottom left in mars, a younger dark-skinned man with thicker dyed red locs, thick eyebrows, a dyed red goatee, and freckles. on the bottom right is venus, a younger dark-skinned woman with dark brown and blonde dyed hair pulled into afro puffs, small round eyebrows, and freckles. end id]
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that one line in lone trail
hello welcome to "she promised she was gonna go tl some fic but then got sidetracked thinking about lonetrail again and is now here"
I want to go ahead and do a more comprehensive post talking about the three's relationship in detail with what happened in lone trail but uhh
I don't have that kind of time to reread it because I forgot which stories contain the parts that I need lol.
So without further ado, lets spoil CW-ST-4
The title is "Pushing open future's door" and serves as the epilogue of lonetrail. Unlike most events, lonetrail actually has two post mission stories! CW-ST-3 is unlocked after CW-10 so you know this event is insanely long (iirc this is around the same character count as chapter 8, which is insane. This event is gonna be a monster to read through when it comes to global, I look forward to seeing what translation decisions they make so I have stuff to talk about haha). Also we get to see a hint at a professional relationship between Nastja(no I am not calling her nasti/nasty, I'm fairly certain they were going with a Russian name and Nastja was the closest)
Most of this epilogue is centered around Kirsten, now alone having won in her ideals and preparing to go to sleep. It's a very touching moment where her electronic system goes through her entire ship shutting off each room one by one, until she is left in her room where she is going to hibernate, given a couple minutes before that room will activate she records a log.
It's relatively simple, probably the most direct we will get from her talking about her philosophy and thoughts on society, wanting people to understand themselves, others, society, and where they are in the universe in order to determine how they should move on.
In the last minute she goes a bit more personal which is really what I care about. She comments on how the plants are still alive to her surprise, and laments being unable to give Muelsyse the data on them. It's a nice touch! She stayed with control, helping her the entire way, and it's clear that Kirsten means a lot to Muelsyse too given how close they were in the past between all three of them.
The very last things she says are directly to Saria.
In Kirsten's whole life, there were only two times where she felt truly alive.
The first time, Saria, was when I took you back home, and on that hill I told you the start of everything. The second time, is now, when I have completed my parent's dreams.
The seeds of what happens next, is only the beginning.
On a clear night, find an open field and set up a telescope, there will be a star in the sky twinkling for you.
Then, goodnight, the sirs and madams of Terra.
goodnight, universe.
yeah just stab me will ya. I don't think there is any really other way to read this other than a goodbye letter to Saria, one that she will tragically never really get to hear (I think?). The long relationship they shared, the last line about the star twinkling for her is just so strong of an indication of just how deep they were intertwined together.
Actually, lets spoil CW-10 end too, just to see how even after Saria left Kirsten knew she could rely on Saria in the ways that it counted:
Saria... You always wanted me to take a good, clear look at this vast land.
I saw it.
It is also...very beautiful.
You will take care of it and nurture it's people in my stead. I always knew this.
Same as before, same as always.
As for me... I was not really the type to lead people forward step by step.
I was just a pair of eyes.
A pair... to look up at the deep space in place of the people of these lands
It's probably the only way she knew how to move forward into the future, especially after she met Friston and had those conversations. Funnily enough after seeing the same kind of behaviour in some of the tech circles I am in... This kind of "I don't think I'm suited for leadership yet here I am" problem is real, and quite prevalent amongst the science types who just want to do their thing unfortunately. It's shocking almost how well this trope was written for Kirsten though I feel like I'm staring at a picture of some people I know of irl who are in the same situation.
Kills me how close Kirsten puts those in her heart yet keeps them pretty far away at the same time tbh
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