#thats why im of the mindset that online friends would hate me irl because i am a hysterical mess in person

[alilaro]

it’s weird having social phobia and being an online creator at the same time.

on one hand it lets me share all my thoughts, feelings, and ideas through a platform without much consequence. i join fandoms and make friends, and people give me the confidence and feedback that otherwise i would never have in person. you get to be unique in a sea of other unique individuals.

but on the other hand, in real life doing things like sharing my artwork with another individual instantly puts me into a spiral of anxiety and manic depression. peers could say good kind things about my art to my face and i would probably burst into tears of despair and self-loathe myself for the interaction for at least a month.

but online I do this most days? and sometimes interactions do still lead to panic-ridden breakdowns, but its different, somehow. it feels safer showing things to people on the other side of the world than it does showing it to friends and family. it takes the edge off.

it's nice.