#the 12.7k day doing heavy lifting here but. yeah

[n7punk]

for the last week. i have averaged 5384 words a day

[tuanyiems]

All Clear

All Clear Yoongi x Fem Reader Genre: Fluff x Angst x Smut Words: 12.7k [Masterlist]

Plot: Sequel to Past the Fog. You somehow find yourself in a friends with benefits situation with Yoongi. It’s not what you want though but the situation is still too new and you don’t know what to do. Or Friends with Benefits AU! Friends to Lovers AU!

Warnings: Oral (m receiving), unprotected sex, drunk sex, a lot of alcohol and poor communication skills lol

a/n – I know everyone has been waiting for my other series to update but this has been sitting in my drafts for almost a year now lol Hope you enjoy it!

-

I sighed, burying my face deeper into the pillow as I felt Yoongi’s hands come around my waist. He let out a soft groan, pulling me closer into his chest. It was a warm summer morning but I still relished the feeling of Yoongi’s warm chest against my bare back. The faint sunlight was filtering through his black curtains and if it weren’t for his alarm clock on his bedside table, it would have been impossible to tell the time of day.

I smiled, glancing back at his windows. Of course Yoongi would buy black curtains. I remember the first time I saw them, it was the night after our last finals. “I double triple dog dare you to finish the rest of the whiskey in one shot,” I slurred, waving the bottle of Jack Daniels in the air haphazardly. Yoongi only scoffed, shoving his hands into the pockets of his black joggers before walking off down the dark hall of his apartment and into the room at the end. If it weren’t for the slight tilt in his steps, you would think he were completely sober.

“Okay, okay, how about rock-scissor-shoot-paper? Loser takes a shot?” I hollered as I stumbled after him. By the time I got to the end of the hallway, through his open doorway I could see Yoongi already on his bed, his hoodie and joggers thrown to the floor.

My eyes slowly trailed across the floor, traveling from his bare feet, still firmly planted on the hardwood floor to his blue checkered boxers and plain white v-neck. His eyes were already closed but he patted his hand lazily to the empty spot beside him.

I swallowed, taking his silent invitation with sloppy steps.

It was my first time seeing his bedroom since the first time I got drunk and Yoongi dragged me to his place. Ever since I started visiting Yoongi, we were only ever in his living room and on rare occasions, his studio.

The sight of his bedroom was wholly anticlimactic but nonetheless, very Yoongi—with only a bed at its center and a single nightstand. His furniture was completely dressed in black, even the curtains of his windows. It brought a smile to my face.

“Yoongi, rock-paper-shoot me, yeah? Loser drinks the rest of this bottle,” I spoke again, settling myself clumsily beside him on the bed.

“Will you shut up about the drink?” Yoongi chuckled, peeking one eye open. “You’ll regret it when you wake up tomorrow.”

“Not if you’re as drunk as me,” I grinned cheesily, turning my head to the side so I could look straight at him. He only rolled his eyes, crossing his arms in front of his chest before turning his body on his side to face me.

And despite my drunken state, I knew better than to believe his unbothered front. The pink flush of his chest was enough evidence that he was feeling it too.

“Keep dreaming, lightweight,” he teased.

I giggled, my gaze wavering between his deadpan eyes, wet pink lips, and the soft black curtains fluttering from the breeze of the open window in my peripheral vision.

“What’s so funny?” he asked, bottom lip unconsciously jutting out in a pout.

My eyes zeroed in on the scrunch of his nose, and still, the black curtains waving in my peripheral. More giggles erupted from my lips and then I was just laughing from the tickle of it all in my throat.

“Mmm,” I shook my head as the last of my chuckles subsided.

I watched as his face softened, cheeks rising and eyes crinkling in amusement. “You weirdo.”

I only smiled wider at the familiar pet name. He returned the gesture with lazy blinks, eyes traveling quietly across my own face. For what felt like a long time, it was just quiet with warm whiskey bubbling in my tummy and keeping my heart drumming increasingly in my chest. And I watched the steady slow blink of Yoongi’s lashes, wondering if he was feeling as warm as me too.

“Hey Yoongles,” I finally breathed softly, another giggle threatening to bubble out of me at the nickname I knew he hated. I watched his lips jut out again, anticipating his grumpy rejection, but when he answered with silence, I continued.

“Hey, Yoongi…can I kiss you?”

I could hear the thrumming of my own heart beating hard in my ears as the seconds passed. But he didn’t answer. Only scooted himself closer to me until the tips of our noses were touching. I smiled, watching him slow blink and then close his eyes altogether.

And on an inhale, I leaned in, lips parted eagerly until they finally reached his.

His lips were soft and warm and filled my belly with electric tingles, but the slow teasing of our lips together was quickly sparked with a needy urgency when his arms unfolded to come around me.

And then it was fingers intertwining between hair strands, pushing my head gently closer as his lips opened to welcome my shy tongue. And then he was sucking me in, biting eagerly on my bottom lip, and shifting his tongue into my own mouth, searching every crevice with an urgency I didn’t know he had in him.

He tasted like warm whiskey and something that was uniquely Yoongi, sweet and addictive. When he gave another suck against my bottom lip, tongue brushing against my own teasingly, I couldn’t help the moan that escaped me as arousal pooled in my panties.

“Yeah, you like that?” he whispered, breathing heavily against me.

The deep vibrato of his voice only fueled me further, sending another desperate moan releasing from my lips as my own hands wrapped around his body, pulling him in for more.

Once again our tongues were tangling, fighting for dominance in my mouth as more whines escaped me, until finally Yoongi let out a groan, pulling away. His hands wrapped around the ends of my dress.

“Can I?” he asked, fists tightening against the fabric. Not trusting my own voice, I could only nod, holding my breath in anticipation. He answered with a soft kiss to my lips before sighing. “I need you to tell me clearly, Y/N. What do you want?” “I want you,” I breathed, beckoning for his lips to meet mines once more.

He answered with a groan, his hands finally lifting the ends of my dress, pulling it over my head urgently before flinging it to the ground. His gaze traveled over my body quietly as he stood above me.

“Yoongi,” I whined, feeling self-conscious. “Hurry!”

He let out a small smile, stripping his own t-shirt off and then he was on top of me again, hands roaming my skin, squeezing over my clothed breasts as his lips laid kisses across my collarbone. I sighed, arching up for his hands to slip underneath me and unclasp my bra and as I helped him shed the layer off me, revealing my already hardened nipples, I could feel the hardness of his cock rutting against my thighs in frustration.

But despite the growing urgency down below, Yoongi continued to take his time, planting his lips softly over my left boob, tongue licking softly at the eager bud as his fingers caressed the other, circling over it expertly with his thumb.

“Mm,” I hummed at his touch, the soft sensation of his lips on me, sending shivers straight to my core. I arched myself closer into his confined dick, trying to gain any sort of friction against my clothed pussy. “Yoongi, I’m going to cum before you ever get to finishing up here.”

He chuckled, pulling away from my chest to give me a playful grin. “Wouldn’t you like to cum?”

I returned the smile, pushing my hands at his chest to get him to roll off. I shook my head, crawling on top of him. I bit at my lip, feeling his hardness rub against my clit. “I want to make you cum.”

He groaned, letting his head hit the bed. He closed his eyes, hands coming to grip my hip as he pushed himself harder against me.

“I want to taste you, Yoongi. I want to suck you off until you’re shaking and cumming into my mouth,” I confessed, rubbing my clothed clit harder against him.

“Fuck,” he whispered, tugging at the sides of my panties. “That’s gonna have to wait, Y/N. I want you cumming around my dick first.”

I smiled, it wasn’t every day I could see Yoongi lose his calm indifference. “Then what are you waiting for?”

He pointed to the nightstand before running his fingers through his hair in frustration. “Over there, grab a condom in the drawer.”

I nodded, getting off of him to reach for the drawer, pulling off my panties along the way.

“Shit,” he mumbled, scurrying to kick his boxers off. My eyes widened, seeing his big, red dick flop against his stomach with a loud smack. I hesitated, licking my lips at the pretty sight of his thick veins running down the length of his cock.

“Or,” I muttered, bending down to my knees to get a better look. “I’m on the pill Yoongi.”

“Fuck,” he groaned, lids heavy as he looked me in the eyes. “Fuck, are you for real, Y/N?”

“I’m clean,” I sighed, pressing my lip to his thigh.

“Shit Y/N, come sit on me already. I’m clean too,” he complained, and without looking I could hear the sound of his head hitting the bed again. I held in my chuckle, licking a long stripe up his cock. I took in his breathy sigh, licking another stripe eager to please, stopping at the tip of his cock. I pressed my lip against the reddened head of his cock, my tongue darting out to spread his precum before I dipped my head down, swallowing all of him.

“Fuck,” he moaned softly, pushing my head down briefly before he regained himself and was pushing me off. He grabbed my hand, pulling me on top of him. “You Fucker.”

I giggled before he muffled my own laughter with his hungry kisses. The humor was quickly diminished by the feeling of his bare cock rubbing against my entrance though. I moaned into his mouth, arching myself to meet his teasing hips.

The thrill of his hard cock rutting desperately between my folds along with the warm bubbling of whiskey in my system was making everything feel ten times better. Classes were finally over and tonight was the beginning of summer and what better way to finally relieve myself of the stress than to have Yoongi’s dick against me, his tongue in my mouth, his heavy breathing vibrating against my skin.

“Yoongi,” I mumbled between his lips, hands traveling to grasp at his hair strands. “I want you inside me.”

He answered with a quiet huff before he brought his hand down to align himself to my entrance.

“You won’t regret this later?” He asked quietly, lips brushing against my neck softly.

“Are you trying to make me beg you, Yoongi?” I whined, arching in an attempt to force him in me.

He chuckled, planting a kiss on my jawline. “Maybe next time.”

With that, he pushed his tip into my hot entrance, sinking in slowly. I watched with lidded eyes as Yoongi’s eyes squeezed shut, his lip coming between teeth, as he filled me. We both let out our breaths as he filled me completely. He stilled inside of me, eyes opening again to meet mines, a smirk growing on his face.

I couldn’t help but smile back, my body filling with another kind of warmth as I stared at him. He looked beautiful underneath me, cheeks pink and smiling. I bent down, pressing my lips to his throat and sucking as I started to move, lifting off his dick before pushing back down roughly.

Soon his arms were wrapped around my waist, pushing me down as he lifted himself to meet my thrusts. I moaned, lips searching for his as I felt myself beginning to reach my high embarrassingly fast. He found my lips easily, sucking on my bottom lips as if this was already routine. I only moaned louder against him as he thrusted faster into me, hitting my g-spot every time.

“Y-Yoongi!” I cried against him as I felt the pleasure building in my core. He only answered with harder thrusts and I squeezed against him, relishing in the sound of his dick rubbing against my wet entrance.

“Shit, Yoongi!” I yelled out, eyes squeezing shut as I felt the coil winding inside me with each thrust. “I’m—”

“Cum for me,” he groaned as his thrusts became sloppier.

I let out one last cry as the knot in my core finally released, sending white hot pleasure running through my body. I shivered, my pussy squeezing around his cock as my high slowly subsided.

“Fuck,” he cursed quietly, thrusting from below a few more times, sending electric thrills through my body until he was groaning into the crook of my neck as hot ropes of cum filled me. And then it was just calm, quiet panting, the sound of Yoongi’s heart beating against my ear until I was falling asleep in his arms.

I shivered, the memory of that night heightened by the feeling of Yoongi’s morning wood pressed against my back. At first I thought it was just going to be a one-time-sleep-with-your-friend-and-pretend-it-didn’t-happen-after sort of thing, but here we were a few months later and I was still waking up naked in Yoongi’s bed.

Somehow this one-time thing became a regular routine. At first it happened whenever we got drunk together…and soon I was finding more excuses to get us drunk. But then drunk sex transitioned into the-morning-after sex and soon our friendly hang outs and nightly rendezvous were becoming one and the same.

But I wasn’t complaining. Yoongi may look coldhearted but he was all warmth and snuggles in bed and it was truly comforting to have him to wake up to. It sure beat waking up alone in the raggedy old apartment I recently moved into this summer.

“Hmm,” Yoongi breathed in the crook of my neck, squeezing me closer to him. I relaxed into his touch, feeling him grind himself into my backside. His fingers slid underneath the blanket, tickling the skin around my belly button before moving softly to his target below. He paused lazily before dragging one finger down my folds, teasing circles at my entrance before tracing the wetness back to my clit and drawing circles idly.

I chuckled lightly, placing my hand over his wrist. “Morning to you too.”

“You’re already wet,” he grumbled, amused, before planting kisses to my shoulders.

“Today’s the first day of classes, Yoongi,” I reminded, though I let his fingers continue.

He only sighed, grinding himself harder against me. “More reason to destress ourselves.”

I let out a giggle before finally pushing his hand away. I sat up, sending him a bright smile to his bitter frown. “It’s the last first day of college, Yoongi! I don’t want to be late.”

He only rolled his eyes, grabbing the blanket and yanking it overhead. “You’re so lame,” he mumbled underneath.

I only shrugged, chuckling before I left for his bathroom.

Despite my love for morning sex, I really was genuinely excited for classes this semester. I was a senior now and besides my final art capstone course, most of my classes were electives, which meant 1, I could fuck around in them for the most part and 2, I was taking these classes out of pure interest to learn about the subjects. According to Yoongi, that made me a huge nerd, but I was finally getting to take that dance class I’ve been wanting to try out since my freshmen year so I was allowed to be excited for school, okay?

So, with yesterday’s leggings and a fresh hoodie out of Yoongi’s closet, I made my way to the university’s dance studios.

“Y/N?”

I looked over my shoulder to see a boy jogging towards me, his golden blonde hair flopping beautifully as he approached. I smiled at the ball of sunshine, amused by some of the romantic sighs escaping the mouths of some of the ladies in the dance room.

“Mr. Bartender,” I greeted him playfully.

He chuckled bashfully. “Just Jimin please.”

“Aww, and here I was waiting for my bottomless whiskey,” I pouted.

He giggled, “Only on weekends from now on. I’ve enrolled fulltime!”

“Oh, congrats Jimin! Well I’m honored to be your classmate in your first class back,” I complimented, nudging him with my elbow teasingly.

He smiled, his shoulders squishing together coyly. “No, the pleasure is mines!”

“We should celebrate this big day then. What are you doing after classes?”

Jimin grinned, “I guess I’ll be hanging with you.”

“Good answer!”

-

“Really? Soju?” I grimaced as Jimin took two bottles from the fridge and walked back to our table at the local restaurant by our campus.

“Why not? You got something against soju?” he chuckled.

“You’re a bartender, Jimin, shouldn’t you have standards?” I teased, twisting off the cap of the bottle anyways. He rolled his eyes, hitting the bottle with his spoon.

“I do! That’s why I got the grapefruit flavor!” he laughed out loud after seeing my scowl. “Plus it’s cheap. Cheaper than some of the water you drink.”

“But I’m treating you today!” I laughed, pouring out the alcohol into two shot glasses.

He grinned, clicking his tongue and sending me finger guns—which by any other man would have been repulsive, but Jimin could make everything look cute.

“Well, whatever, cheers to our first day of classes!”

Jimin smiled brightly, clinking his glass against mines. “Cheers to being poor dumb college students!”

As the evening settled into night and four empty bottles of soju later, Jimin let out a hearty laugh as he twisted open a new bottle of soju. “You know what I’m really excited about for college?”

Before I could even answer though he smiled at me without even batting his eyes. “Sex.”

I scoffed, rolling my eyes at his honesty.

“Listen, being a bartender all night and watching all these beautiful girls leave with men way beneath them was excruciating. Imagine all the sex I missed out on because I was making drinks,” Jimin shook his head with disappointment. “It’s a real shame.”

“Yeah, like how you watched me leave with Yoongi the night we met?” I giggled, sending him a wink before downing another shot.

Jimin tilted his head, a knowing smile on his lips. “Maybe, but after seeing you two together, it would be a sin for me to break you two apart.”

I shrugged, though I couldn’t help the smile making its way onto my lips. “You talk like we’re a couple.”

“Well, aren’t you?” He smiled. “You look at him like you are.”

“Jimin, are you trying to start something? I am way too buzzed for this,” I groaned, taking another shot.

“Am I wrong though? You two have been glued by the hip this whole summer!”

“Well, we’ve been glued by other parts too,” I wiggled my eyebrows his way, laughing at how quickly his smile left his face.

“Okay, ew, but also, kinda hot.”

“Save it for the ladies in our class, Jimin.”

He smiled, his eyes squinting smaller as he leaned in. “But you are one of the ladies in our class.”

I could only laugh in disbelief, taking another shot.

“But seriously, you don’t think you two are gonna become more? I’ve never seen Yoongi this attached to anyone.”

I only shrugged, fighting the grin on my lips by sipping on my shot glass. “He just goes with it because I bother him.”

“I bother him too, but you don’t see him sleeping with me,” he replied nonchalantly.

“Aww, are you jelly Jiminie?”

“If you’re ever looking for a threesome,” Jimin winked before breaking out into full laughter. He tilted his head, eyes darting to the screen of my phone lighting up. “Speak of the devil.”

I chuckled, feeling a warmth at seeing the familiar name on my screen. “He probably finished his set tonight.”

“Wow, look at you being all wifey and knowing his schedule.”

I rolled my eyes, lifting my phone into my hands. “Oh shut up.”

“It’s kind of early for his shift to be ending though, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, I told him to switch to an early shift since school is starting again. His sleep schedule practically killed him last semester.”

“Aww, how sweet of you. He’s lucky to have you around, Y/N.”

I shrugged, pretending like what he said wasn’t making me so happy. I smiled at the text on screen, glad that Jimin hadn’t glimpsed at what he wrote. Upon second thought, it was kind of domestic of him to text me this.

Yoongles: just finished, coming home now [11:59PM]

You: im with mr. Bartender rn!!1 wanna join? [11:59PM]

Yoongles: drinking? [12:00AM]

Yoongles: Y/N? where are you guys? [12:00AM]

You: where else would I be getting jiminie draank? [12:05AM]

You: come quick I’m treating! [12:06AM]

Yoongles: are you drunk? [12:07AM]

You: nAhh, just buzzed like a bee lol [12:10AM]

“Oh god,” Jimin sighed, leaning onto the palm of his hands. “You’re even smiling while you text him. You’ve got it bad, Y/N.”

“Nuh uh! I-I’m laughing at what I wrote, okay?” I defended, tucking my phone away. “Anyways, you don’t look drunk enough. Keep drinking Jiminie!”

He only laughed, taking my offer of soju into his shot glass.

It felt like only minutes passed before Yoongi was loudly strutting into the restaurant, in his classic black hoodie and unamused face.

“Hi Yoongi!” Jimin greeted cheerfully, lightly kicking my foot playfully. He answered me with a knowing smile.

“Hey,” Yoongi returned the greeting with a significantly less enthused tone. “You two are drinking on a school night?”

Jimin chuckled sheepishly. “You want some?”

He shook his head, sneaking a hand onto my shoulder. “I was just gonna walk Y/N back when you were done.”

Jimin grinned, eyeing me with raised brows. “Oh, we’re pretty much done then.”

“You don’t want to eat something while you’re here?” I asked, tilting my head up and leaning onto his stomach. He shook his head tiredly.

“I just want to sleep,” he sighed, hands absentmindedly squeezing my shoulders.

I pretended not to see the grin growing on Jimin’s face as he ushered us off.

I smiled, feeling the quiet night air against my hot cheeks and the feeling of Yoongi’s warm fingers lacing between mines.

“You’re drunk on a school night,” he uttered softly, fingers tightening around me.

“No I’m not!” I whined, bumping shoulders.

He scoffed. “You’re wobbling.”

“No, the sidewalk is slanted.”

He let out a sigh, chuckling lightly. “Come on, the faster we walk, the faster you can go to sleep.”

“You mean the faster you can go to sleep.”

“Are you going to argue with me about everything?”

I offered him a lazy smile, feeling the heat of the soju buzz in my cheeks. “Jiminie said I’m too nice, so I feel like fighting now!”

He rolled his eyes, squeezing my hand tighter. “Why were you together anyways? So random.”

“Jiminie and I are in the same dancing class!”

“Oh…fun, I guess.”

“Mhm! Minie is a good dancer!”

He let out a sigh, tugging me faster up the stairs to his apartment. “Jimin.”

“Mhm!”

“No,” he grumbled, fumbling through his pants pockets for his keys as we reached his door. “His name is Jimin.”

I let out a chuckle. “But Minie is cuter! Like Yoongles.”

He let out a sigh, kicking his shoes off. “Whatever, let’s wash up and go to sleep.”

I smiled, leaning my weight onto his warm body. “Whatever you say, Yoongles!”

-

I woke up to the sound of Yoongi grumbling in his sleep. Despite the grogginess of early morning, I couldn’t help the smile blooming on my face. How did I ever find Yoongi intimidating? Here he was, his hair ruffled like a messy puppy while his body curled into himself as he slept soundly. He looked about as intimidating as a little kitten.

I smiled, looking down at myself. I don’t remember how I got into this, but I was dressed in one of Yoongi’s oversized tees.

Reverting my eyes back to Yoongi’s sleeping figure, I chuckled after realizing he was just in his boxers. Did Yoongi put his shirt on me? Or maybe he just got hot during the night. I shrugged, continuing my examination.

“Mm,” he mumbled in his sleep before tossing onto his back.

As my eyes trailed down his chest, from the perfect pink nubs to his cute pale belly and then to the striped black and grey pattern of his boxers, a wave of mischief rushed over me. And before I could register the consequences of what it meant to wake up a sleeping Yoongi, my hands were already moving.

I started tentatively, circling a finger softly around his nipple, laughing silently as he let out another soft hum. Slowly, I let my fingers slide down his soft tummy until I reached the thin fabric of his boxers. Slipping three fingers through the open fly, I pressed against the warm flesh of his penis before pulling it out of the hole. To my surprise, his dick was already semi hard and growing firmer inside my fist.

My eyes flickered briefly back to his face only to find that he was still sleeping soundly.

Unable to hide my smile, it only widened as I rubbed his cock up and down in my hand, watching him grow harder. Once he was standing tall, at attention, I crawled to the end of the bed until I was staring face to face with Yoongi’s cock.

Perhaps this was a weird thing to notice about a friend…friend with benefits...but for someone who carried himself like he didn’t care about anything, Yoongi sure had a nice dick. It wasn’t even about his girth or length, but the presentation of his dick was…handsome. If I could call a dick handsome.

The first time we had sex there was quite a bit of hair, not that I minded anyways. But as I stared at his dick now, his base was trimmed neatly and the head of his cock was cute and pink as if it were blushing under my gaze.

I licked my lips, my mouth already salivating at the sight, before I finally dipped down, giving a tentative lick to the slit of his head before sucking the whole tip into my mouth softly. I let my tongue circle around him, savoring the salty taste of Yoongi.

“God,” he breathed softly, making me look his way. His lips were between his teeth and his brows were furrowed in concentration. “You fucking tease.”

I released him with a pop before smiling up at him. “Morning Yoongi.”

He released his bottom lip, settling into a pout. “Morning.”

With one final smile, I returned my attention to his waiting cock, this time sinking down on him completely, my tongue firm against his shaft and his tip down my throat. I paused, my eyes watering as I adjusted to his size.

“Mm,” I hummed, feeling so full of him in my throat.

“Shit,” Yoongi let out a shaky exhale before running his fingers through my hair. I couldn’t help the curve of my lips as I looked up to meet Yoongi’s own hazy eyes staring down at me. Shallow breaths escaped him as he gripped tighter around my hair.

Despite wanting to tease him a little more, I could feel his need as he quietly pressed down on my head. Something about seeing Yoongi all hazy and squirming for more was so hot. I could already feel myself growing wet.

Picking up my pace, I bobbed my head up and down his length, moaning at the feeling of him filling my mouth and the sight of him quietly losing himself to the pleasure. I watched as his eyes squeezed shut and his fist tightened around my hair, urging me to go faster. His thighs squeezed against me, shivering with pleasure as I swallowed around his length faster.

“H-hhh,” Yoongi’s breath hitched and I moaned against him, sneaking one hand underneath and gently massaged his balls. “Fuck, Y/N!”

I smiled, knowing just exactly how to make Yoongi lose his cool. I sucked him faster, massaging his balls between my fingers until he was shaking, grip on my hair so tight until he was practically thrusting up into my throat.

“I’m gonna cum, baby,” he gasped, holding my head down as he stilled, dick deep in my throat.

I groaned along with Yoongi, feeling his dick pulse around my lips until hot spurts of cum were shooting down my throat.

“Fuck,” Yoongi whispered in exhaustion, coming down from his high. His head hit the pillow with a soft thump as I swallowed down his salty cum, licking clean the residue left on his cock.

I giggled, returning to his side on the bed, getting a closer look of a fucked out Yoongi. He turned to me with a lazy smile.

“What did I do to deserve this gift, Y/N?” he asked, hand coming up to cup my cheek.

I shrugged, running my tongue across my lip playfully. “I just wanted breakfast.”

He let out an amused chuckle, running his fingers through my hair quietly. I smiled, seeing the content look in his eyes and his growing smile. His eyes met mines and for a moment he just stared quietly.

And I thought he was just getting lost in his thoughts again before he leaned in, pressing a chaste kiss to my lips.

“You’re cute.”

And then he rolled out of bed like nothing ever happened. Maybe nothing did.

But then, why was my heart racing? Why were my cheeks feeling like hot stones? Why did time feel like it had stopped?

It was just a kiss, barely a kiss really. And yet I couldn’t stop replaying it in my head. The way his lips felt so soft and warm against my own, the way his lids fluttered shut for the briefest moment, the way his eyes shimmered right before he called me…cute.

I don’t think Yoongi has ever called me cute. Usually his go-to names for me were gross and weird. Usually his kisses were hot and intense, with the intent to lead into something more. He never had another reason for kissing.

But he kissed me and called me cute—

“Hello? Earth to Y/N?”

I flinched, turning apologetically to Jimin. “Oh, my bad.”

“Is everything alright? You’ve been super spacey these past few weeks.”

I shrugged, returning to my laptop screen as if I hadn’t been daydreaming about blowing Yoongi for probably the umpteenth time this week. I couldn’t understand why I was so fixated on that one moment. Two weeks have passed since.

I’ve hung out with Yoongi like normal. We’ve had sex like normal (although lately we’ve both been getting busy with school so maybe not as much as usual). But since then, he hasn’t kissed me like that. Or called me cute.

It was probably just a slip of the tongue on his part. He had just woken up.

And yet, I was still fixated.

“Is it you and Yoongi? Having a couple’s squabble?” Jimin cut in again, sipping on his overpriced Americano nonchalantly.

I rolled my eyes at his teasing. “We aren’t a couple, Jimin.”

“Then what’s been bothering you?”

I sighed, closing my laptop before shooting him a glare. “You!”

He smiled at me brightly, unaffected. “What about me?”

My glare quickly melted into a pout as I hunched over in defeat. “You had to go and talk about me and Yoongi like he’s my boyfriend and now I can’t unsee the little things he does to me and…and…I don’t know! I don’t like analyzing my feelings, Jimin! Things were just so much easier before when I was just doing things without thinking.”

I bit at the straw of my coffee cup as Jimin practically curled up with laughter at my agony. If he weren’t Jimin and horribly adorable when doing anything I would’ve thrown my coffee straight in his taunting face already.

“It’s not funny,” I whined. “I don’t know how to act around him anymore. I keep overthinking everything I do and over reading everything he does.”

“Sounds like someone’s catching feelings,” Jimin smiled at me pitifully, patting my head.

“Please don’t say that,” I pouted.

“Say what?”

Jimin and I both turned around at the voice, my heart jumping to my throat at the sight of Yoongi. He was dressed in a plain tee, a black, plaid button up and black skinny jeans. Lately he’s been foregoing his jogger and hoodies for more form-fitting clothes—still the dark, brooding look that was signature of Yoongi, but a change nonetheless. It made me wonder why all of a sudden. Did he meet a cute girl in one of his classes?

“Hey Yoongi!” Jimin greeted cheerfully, pointing over to the empty seat beside me. “Wanna join us? Make her study instead of distracting me!”

“Distracting you?” I turned to Jimin, appalled.

Yoongi let out a soft scoff but sat down. I glanced at his profile, as he rummaged through his bag, pulling out his laptop and notes. The summer glow had already faded from Yoongi. It was only two weeks back but I could already see the weight that school put on him.

“How are classes?” I asked him, noticing the breath he released just before opening his laptop. I turned towards him, ignoring the soft kick to my feet from Jimin.

“It’s alright,” he muttered. “You two are always together, huh?”

“Yeah, it’s horrible,” Jimin teased, flashing me a cheeky smile.

I threw my straw wrapper at him. “Hey, be grateful I’m sharing my old stat notes with you!”

“Thank you my dearest Y/Nie!” he exclaimed sarcastically.

I chuckled, turning back to my laptop screen. “That’s more like it!”

“Sounds fun,” Yoongi sighed, eyebrows furrowing as he stuck his earbuds in and began typing away. Despite my blatant staring, he continued to focus on his screen, so I gave up, turning to my own work.

Minie: You have literal heart eyes rn [3:23PM]

My eyes darted up from my screen to Jimin who only raised his eyebrows in response. I frowned, rolling my eyes.

You: It’s called being a concerned friend. You should try it [3:24PM]

Jimin chuckled, putting his phone down. “Harsh much?”

I shrugged. “I think I’m picking up on Yoongi’s personality.”

“I can hear you, you know.” Yoongi spoke up, eyes still trained on his screen.

Jimin laughed out loud as I turned red in the face.

“She’s not wrong though, Yoongi, you guys are starting to become alike,” he added once his laughter subsided. Yoongi only shrugged though.

Minie: You know what they say about couples that spend too much time together~ [3:30PM]

You: NOT A COUPLE!!! [3:30PM]

Minie: Yeah okay pink cheeks [3:31PM]

I looked up from my screen, hand automatically coming up to my cheek. “Really?”

“Well, now they are!” Jimin bent over the table, laughing from how hilarious he found the situation.

I pouted, hands covering my face. “Stop Jiminie!”

“Aww, that’s cute, Y/N,” Jimin teased. “Isn’t she so cute, Yoongi?”

I flushed even more, too shy to look at Yoongi though I was dying to see his response. Would I get to hear him call me cute again? I was disappointed when he only grumbled. I released my hands from my face, turning to him only to see him packing up his things.

“Oh, leaving already?”

“Yeah, I can’t pay attention here.”

“Do you want to work in the art studio? I have the keys to the room this semester still.”

“Your studio smells like paint though,” Jimin complained, scrunching his nose.

“Well, it’s a painting studio!”

Jimin made a face, mocking my own, but before I could counter back, Yoongi turned to me, pausing briefly before shaking his head.

“No, I’m fine. I’m just gonna go.”

“Oh, alright, see you later then,” I smiled softly, hiding my own disappointment as I watched him leave the coffee shop.

“Correction, those are literal heart eyes.”

-

I sighed, chewing on my pizza as I tried to keep my focus trained on the television screen and not on my peripheral view of Yoongi munching on his slice of pepperoni. It was hard not to though when Jimin’s words kept ringing in my head—even though I was trying to drown it with my own “we’re just friends” over and over like self-hypnotism.

“Are you gonna eat another slice?” he spoke up. I turned to look at him reluctantly. His gaze remained unaffected while I struggled to not look panicked. It was hard not to stop the fluttering of my stomach when I was now so aware of my feelings. Meanwhile, Yoongi looked at me with the same expression he used to read his textbooks—complete boredom.

“No, I’m good,” I finally managed after another flip of the stomach made me realize I hadn’t said a thing yet.

“Kay, I’m putting the rest away then.”

I nodded a little too eagerly, tucking loose strands of hair behind my ear—a nervous tick I hoped Yoongi didn’t notice. He was already getting up and walking into the kitchen. I let out a breath, turning back to the TV screen.

This was bad.

The buzz of the television was going through my ears like static and Yoongi’s footsteps in the other room was echoing through my mind, almost palpable. I was way too aware of him and his dumb little nose scrunching and his dumb stupid smile and the way he drags his feet when he walks so I could always hear the scuffing of his slippers against the floor.

“What did I miss?” Yoongi asked, coming back into his seat beside me. He was sitting closer this time. Our legs were touching. I could feel his body warmth and like second nature all I wanted was to sink into him…but not even in a sexual way. I just wanted to feel him against me and have him hold me…like cuddling…?

“Are you okay? You’re being…weirder,” Yoongi spoke again at my silence.

“Oh, ha…” I laughed weakly, tucking my hair again. “You know me…just being weird.”

I went back to eating, stuffing my mouth so I’d have an excuse to not talk anymore, but I could feel Yoongi’s eyes on me. It was clear he knew something was up, but one good thing about Yoongi was that he never pried. If I wanted to avoid talking to him forever, he would let me, and this time around I think I just might.

I didn’t want Yoongi to question me because that would mean I would eventually have to tell him what was really bothering me. And when he finds out about these things I’ve been thinking about…about him, well, I was sure he would want no part in it. There was a reason we jumped from friends to fucking and only fucking. It meant Yoongi wasn’t looking for a girlfriend.

It meant he didn’t want me as anything else.

There was an ache in my chest at this thought. But the thing was…I’d rather feel Yoongi’s warmth just barely against my thighs and ache desperately to feel more, than to confess and not feel his warmth at all. It hurt, but not as much as the thought of losing Yoongi completely.

“It’s getting late,” Yoongi mumbled.

“Yeah.”

“Staying over, right?”

“Mm,” I nodded, finishing my last bite of pizza.

Yoongi chuckled softly, leaning forward to grab the remote. “Why do you even bother paying rent for your place? You pretty much live here.”

I smiled halfheartedly, folding the paper plate in half on my lap. “Yeah, maybe I should start staying at my own place from now on.”

I sighed before forcing on a smile. I got up, grinning his way. “That way Hobi and Joon will stop complaining about me stealing you away.”

Yoongi gave me a half smile, tilting his head. “That’s…not what I meant, but you know those guys are just kidding right? Even when I’m not with you I ignore them anyways.”

I shook my head laughing. “Oh Yoongi, you don’t deserve Hobi’s love!”

“Hey, you’re just jealous cause he likes me more.”

I shrugged, tossing my paper plate into the garbage. “The entire student body is jealous of you, Yoongles.”

-

“Have you been practicing on your own? You’ve gotten a lot better!” Jimin grinned, wiping at his sweat as he plopped onto the studio dance floor beside me.

I huffed, catching my breath and smiling his way. “Thanks Jimin! I’ve been living in this studio for the past few weeks. I can’t wait for our midterm performance!”

“Yeah, Hobi’s been telling me,” Jimin chuckled. “I can’t believe you got him to help you out. I still think that’s cheating.”

“You’re just jealous you didn’t think of it first!”

“No, I’m offended because I did think of it first,” Jimin added, bursting into a fit of laughter.

“Aww, poor Minie. I guess it only works out for cute people like me,”

He rolled his eyes, giggles subsiding. “Okay, now I’m really offended,” he deadpanned.

I laughed, leaning into his arm. “No you’re not, you love me Mr. Bartender!”

He shook his head in disbelief but failed to hide his smile. “Speaking of, the guys are gonna hit the tavern tonight, you coming?”

“Sure, who’s going?”

“Just me, Hobi, Joon, and your mans.”

“Oh,” my stomach sunk at the thought of Yoongi. “Actually, I have some errands to run later.”

“No, you already said sure,” Jimin answered with a raised brow. “Unless there’s someone you’re avoiding.”

I bit at my lip guiltily. “I’m not avoiding him.”

“Really? Because my sources tell me you are,”

I rolled my eyes, huffing, “Hobi and his big mouth.”

Jimin smiled sympathetically. “Come on, join us tonight. It’ll be easier to break the ice with the others around too.”

I shrugged. “I guess,”

“I don’t even know why you need to break ice anyways. You’re Yoongi’s favorite.”

I gave Jimin a knowing look. “You know exactly why.”

“I do know, and I’m telling you it’s nothing you should be worrying about. It’s especially not worth avoiding your friend for two weeks! What kind of logic is that Y/N? Preserving your friendship by not seeing him at all? How is that different from ruining the friendship?”

I sighed. Jimin was right. I knew he was right, but I was still scared. I was scared of revealing my heart to Yoongi and having him reject me—or worse, having him hate me for destroying what we already have. A million scenarios ran through my head at the idea of telling him my true feelings and each time, my imagination got progressively worse. Like what if he scoffed in my face and told me I wasn’t loveable? What if he became completely disgusted at the mere sight of me and told me to never speak to him ever again?

Jimin sat up, crouched on his feet as he examined me closely. “I get it. Confessing is always hard, but I know Yoongi, and you know Yoongi too. He’s softer than he looks and to you especially. Everything’s going to be fine.”

“Minie,”

“I’m not asking you to tell him how you feel tonight, but just join us at the tavern. Let’s have fun before midterms!”

I let out a reluctant smile at the sight of Jimin’s face scrunching into excitement. “Fine.”

A few hours later though, I realized this was not fine. I was not fine.

I took in a breath, rubbing my clammy palms against the leather fabric of my skirt before walking up the steps to the tavern. Before even entering I could already see the boys through the window. They were sitting at the usual table, laughing away with beers in their hands. I let out a deep exhale, trying to sooth my racing heart as I made my way over to them.

“Y/N!” Hobi waved me over as soon as I stepped into view.

I waved hesitantly, eyes immediately darting right beside him to Yoongi. His head was still ducked down, staring at the glow of his phone, texting away. I felt a shiver of panic run through me as he set his phone on the table, looking up now.

“Wow, Y/N, is that a leather skirt I see?” Namjoon teased as I took a seat next to him and Jimin.

“Oh, this old thing?” I tugged at the fabric before fluttering my eyelashes coquettishly. “I just had it lying around.”

Jimin grinned, trying to elbow me secretively. “It looks great on you, Y/N. You trying to get someone’s number tonight or something?”

I chuckled at his teasing but couldn’t help looking Yoongi’s way. He blinked back lazily before flicking his eyes away. I pretended to not feel my heart sink as I turned back to Jimin.

“Maybe I am,” I replied back softly.

“Oh!” Hoseok exclaimed, nudging Yoongi until he looked back at me. “Y/N’s not playing around tonight! I’ll be your wingman!”

I smirked, taking Jimin’s glass of beer and chugged it down.

“Y/N! Y/N!” the guys cheered alongside me, but my eyes remained on Yoongi. His eyebrows furrowed for a split second before he looked away. He quietly sipped on his own beer.

I let out a big exhale as I finished the last drop of Jimin’s beer, slamming down the glass with a loud thud. I wiped my lips triumphantly, glad I opted for the red liquid lipstick tonight. But my pride was quickly depleted at the sound of Yoongi’s phone vibrating against the table.

It was the fastest I ever saw Yoongi reach for his phone.

The blue light of his screen sparkled in his eyes and maybe it was the buzz from the beer hitting me, but I think I even saw a hint of a smile on his lips. Yoongi, who always scowls, was smiling at a text.

Noticing my eyes on Yoongi, Hoseok followed my gaze, his eyes landing on the screen I couldn’t see. He smiled mischievously, putting his arm around Yoongi.

“Wow, who’re you texting there?” he teased.

Namjoon joined in, leaning across the table to get a better look. “Is Yoongi smiling at his phone? I haven’t seen that since…”

The boys exchanged knowing looks but before Namjoon could continue, Yoongi was getting out of his seat and stuffing his phone into his pocket.

“I have to go,” he spoke casually, as if we weren’t all waiting for him to give us the details of his phone friend.

“Wait, really?” I asked, alarmed, as Yoongi took steps back from our table. “You don’t wanna hang with us longer?”

He gave me a nonchalant half-smile as he backed away. “I have to go.”

My eyes trailed after his fleeting figure until he was past the doors of the tavern. I let out a sigh, sinking into my seat.

“First you don’t wanna come because of Yoongi and now that he has to go, you don’t want him to?” Jimin teased, pushing Yoongi’s half-finished beer into my hands. “What’s up with you, Y/N?”

I rolled my eyes at him. “Nothing’s wrong with me.”

Namjoon chuckled. “No, I’m with Jimin on this. Something’s wrong…with the both of you.”

I shook my head, downing the rest of Yoongi’s beer. “We’re both fine. Come on Hobi, let’s go break hearts by the bar, I need a fresh beer!”

Hoseok chuckled lightly, following behind me. He gave me a knowing look as we leaned against the bar, waiting for the bartender to come our way. “You sure you’re alright, Y/N?”

I shrugged, keeping my eyes on the bartender who was tending to a group of girls on the other side of the bar. “What about you, Hobi? Everything good?”

He smiled his usual sunshine smile. “You’re deflecting.”

I smiled in defeat, turning around to lean my elbows on the countertop. “Come on, can’t I be curious? What about your composition class?”

Hoseok smirked. “You mean the class that Yoongi’s in?”

I rolled my eyes. “Joon’s in it too.”

“Okay, but let me answer the question that you’re really asking. Yes, Yoongi is coming to class. He hasn’t skipped a single day yet.”

I let out a sigh, staring back at our table where Namjoon and Jimin attempted to hide the fact that they were clearly talking about me. I smiled bitterly, watching as Jimin’s eyes flinched while meeting mines. He tried to play it off by running his fingers through his hair. He only succeeded at winning the hearts of the girls two tables over.

“Why do you look so down? Isn’t that a good thing?”

I nodded, looking back at Hoseok. “Yeah it is…It’s just, he seems off lately doesn’t he? Like he’s distracted more. At least if he were skipping classes again we could sum it up to the usual things, you know?”

“Well, you could just ask him, right?”

I frowned his way. “Hobi, you know I can’t.”

“No, I don’t know. Why can’t you, Y/N? The last time I saw, you two were the closest in our friend group.”

“That’s a lie. You and Yoongi are like soulmates,” I chuckled half-heartedly, turning back towards the bar to check on the status of our bartender. I smiled his way, seeing him approach us.

Hoseok shrugged bumping his shoulder against mines softly. “Not anymore, pretty sure you’ve replaced me.”

I smiled, shaking my head.

“What can I get for you two?”

“Whiskey neat please. You want anything Hobi?”

“No, I still have my beer.”

“Suit yourself, more whiskey for me then.”

I smiled gratefully as our bartender poured me a fresh glass of whiskey. He winked playfully before moving onto the next couple beside us.

“Looks like he’s into you,” Hoseok commented.

I chuckled, taking a sip of the drink and savoring the bitter taste on my tongue. “No, he’s just being a bartender. You should’ve seen Jimin when we first met.”

“Yeah, well, Jimin was into you when you guys first met.”

I turned to Hoseok with arched eyebrows before shaking my head and taking another sip.

“See, you always do that Y/N. You know it’s normal for guys to find you attractive right? Remember that freshman from our marketing class?”

I shrugged. “Jungkook was just confused because it was his first semester and I was the first girl to be nice to him.”

Hoseok frowned, sticking his finger into my cheek, his frustration showing through. “You’re so stubborn. Between you and Yoongi, it’s no wonder you two are going nowhere.”

I bit at my lip, staring into the amber liquid between my fingers. No, Hobi was wrong. We were going nowhere because Yoongi had no interest in going anywhere with me…or at least, not the direction I wanted to go.

My thoughts returned to Yoongi again. And the little smile on his lips when he was looking at his phone. I wonder who he was talking to.

“Hey!” Hoseok broke me out of my daze with the snap of his fingers. “No more moping! You’re going to finish this whiskey and you’re going to chase after your mans and tell him how you feel!”

I chuckled weakly. “Woah there Hobi, I’m gonna need way more than this one whiskey before you can start making these motivational speeches.”

He laughed, giving a playful punch to my shoulder. “I’ll stop once the two of you get your act together!”

I gave him one last look before putting on a smile. I raised my glass to him. “Save it for Yoongi. Come on, let’s go back and find out the crap Jimin and Joon have been talking about me!”

Hoseok laughed, giving my shoulders a squeeze before we both headed back to our table.

-

“Okay Y/N, I think you’ve had enough to drink,” Jimin giggled, taking my glass away. I pouted, reaching my arms out to him.

“But that was just my third drink!”

Joon laughed helping me out of my seat. “Yeah, okay, you said that three times already.”

I huffed, leaning my weight into his arms. “Okay, Giant, where are you taking me? The ground feels mushy!”

Hoseok’s laugh echoed in the distance as Namjoon dragged me away and into the open night air. “I’ve never seen Y/N this drunk before. Is she always like this?”

“Oh you don’t even know half of it,” Jimin chuckled.

“Excuse me!” I yelled, throwing my hands into the air and hoping it was in their general direction.

“Okay, Y/N, you need to calm down. I’ll sue you if you poke my eyes out,” Joon grumbled.

“For a giant you sure are a big baby,” I chuckled, grabbing onto his arm for support.

“I’m only a giant because you hang out with guys like Jimin and Yoongi,” Namjoon laughed.

“Hey, I’m right here!” Jimin yelled back.

I laughed, falling into Joon’s arms. “Yeah I’m telling Yoongi!”

“Good, talk to Yoongi!”

“Bet! I will!” I declared, following Joon as he led me towards the cab that suddenly appeared on the street before us.

“I got that on video, Y/N!” Hoseok hollered.

“Oh, now you have to be responsible for your words,” Namjoon chuckled, securing the seatbelt around me. “So where shall you go, Y/N? Your place or Yoongi’s?”

“Say Yoongi’s or you owe me a Sprite!” Hoseok shouted from behind Namjoon.

“Fuck, I’m not owing you anything Hobi!” I yelled back.

“Yeah, do it, Y/N! Collect your mans!” Jimin instigated.

“Fuck yeah I will!” And with a slam of the cab door I was off.

I sighed.

I felt my stomach sink as I stood here, whiskey heat on my cheeks and tingling in my gut.

Why was I here again?

I grimaced, staring down Yoongi’s door. I felt a lot more drunk when I was at the bar. Now…Now all I felt was fear. Which was strange, when all I used to feel was comfort, coming to this door.

“It’s okay Y/N,” I breathed. “Just open the door. Like you normally do.”

I hesitated, fingers brushing over his doorknob.

“Just open it girl. You are not buying Hobi a Sprite damn it,” I grumbled under my breath. “Just—”

The door twisted open, cold air hitting my face. I blinked slowly, raising my head only to find Yoongi staring me dead in the eye.

“What the-” his eyes widened in surprise. “Y/N?”

“That’s me,” I joked weakly, feeling the alcohol churn in my gut.

“Why are you here?” he muttered, stuffing his hands into his back pockets.

“I-I was just—”

“Yoongi?” a voice called from inside.

I stood there awkwardly, watching a beautiful girl peek out of Yoongi’s studio room. The sick feeling in my stomach twisted stronger. Her long brown hair curling in beautiful tresses. She looked at me with big bright eyes and I gulped.

“Oh, ha!” I laughed awkwardly, rubbing at the nape of my neck. “I was just…Joon put me in a cab. I guess he sent me here. I just…I’m gonna go home.”

“Are you drunk?” Yoongi looked at me with a frown.

“Just some whiskey, I’m fine,” I chuckled halfheartedly, feeling my cheeks warm up and it wasn’t the whiskey this time.

“Yeah, okay lightweight,” he scoffed.

“Anyways,” I glanced behind again, looking at the girl who was now standing outside the studio door. I felt my heart sink at the effortless way her dress shirt shifted across her bare shoulders. “Yeah, I’ll go now. Bye Yoongles, I guess I’ll see you…later.”

“I-”

But before Yoongi could continue I was already walking away, heaving with disappointment and embarrassment.

I sighed, exiting the apartment building and feeling the cool night air back on my skin.

“This sucks.”

I sighed and sat on the curb outside his apartment complex. Knowing Yoongi, he probably just shrugged and went back to his studio. After all, he had a guest tonight. Of course he wouldn’t come looking for me. He wouldn’t come looking for me normally so he definitely wouldn’t with a pretty girl at his place.

She sure was a pretty girl. I wonder how they met. I rarely get to come into his studio. Yoongi’s always been so protective of his space, and yet, there she was just hanging out. I guess it was true what they say about guys. They really were all weak for pretty girls.

Maybe if our roles had switched and she was the one that left, Yoongi would have come after her. He clearly wasn’t coming to check on me.

I sat there for another ten minutes anyways.

-

“So, are you gonna tell me what happened that night you went to see Yoongi?”

I glanced up from my painting to see Jimin peeking through the door of the art studio. He gave me a cheeky smile, raising his arm up to reveal a convenience store bag. I could only sigh, rinsing my brush in the bucket of water next to me.

“I brought ramen. Figured you probably skipped dinner.”

I smiled, running my fingers through my messy hair. “Is it obvious?”

“Yeah, you look like a mess,” Jimin teased, giggling when I gave him a reprimanding slap on the arm.

“Are you done with your midterms?”

He grinned, jumping onto an empty table and plopping down onto his back as if he were in his bedroom. “Finished this morning! Took a long ass nap right after and just woke up an hour ago.”

I chuckled, walking to the sink to fill the portable boiler with water. “And you thought of me? How sweet.”

Jimin smiled teasingly, rolling onto his belly. He yawned, resting his head on the crook of his arm lazily. “No, I just wanted you to spill some tea. Now that I’m no longer distracted with school, I can bother you for the details of that night.”

“What makes you think anything even happened?” I asked, taking a seat on the stool at his table. I pulled the convenience bag closer to me and began rummaging through its contents.

“Because you holed yourself away in your studio and haven’t spoken a single word to Yoongi.”

I shrugged, peeling open the lid to one of the ramen cups. “It’s midterms. We all got busy.”

“Yeah?”

I bit at my lip, fingers pinching the paper lid. “Besides, Yoongi was already busy way before midterms.”

Jimin looked at me quietly but I didn’t look back. I knew all I would see was pity in his eyes. This situation just sucked. It was like everyone around me knew I was rejected by Yoongi. I didn’t even confess but even I knew I was not good enough for him. Whoever that pretty girl was, she was probably a better match.

“Y/N—”

“Oh, the water is boiling!” I forced on a smile, grabbing the two ramen cups and bringing them to the counter. After pouring the hot water into the cups and securing the lids down with paintbrushes, I turned to Jimin with a mischievous grin. He arched his eyebrows, raising his head onto his propped up elbows.

I answered his silent question by kicking open the cabinet to the left of me, revealing a line of alcohol.

“You want to drink at this time of the night? While you’re finishing your midterm painting?” Jimin looked at me with a questioning smile.

I chuckled, grabbing two bottles of wine. “I’m an artist, Jimin, it’s what I do best.”

He laughed, jumping off the table to help grab the ramen cups. “And this is why we’re friends.”

“I deserve a break and you deserve a congratulations,” I mused, popping open the wine bottles. I handed him one and grabbed the other by its neck. “Cheers, Minie!”

-

“And yeah, so I stood outside his apartment as if he would chase after me,” I slurred, taking another gulp of wine as Jimin giggled, red-faced on the floor beside me.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Yoongi run,” he laughed.

I sighed in exasperation, rolling onto the floor. “Me either! Why would I wait like a loser for him to chase me? Spoiler alert! He didn’t come!”

I laughed, watching as Jimin’s blurry face burst into a fit of giggles.

“Have you seen him with that pretty girl? They must be dating now, right?”

“I haven’t seen much of Yoongi to be honest.”

“Yeah, because they’re probably stuck to each other in his studio,” I grumbled. I closed my eyes, the shitty feeling sinking in my chest again. “Did I mention she was in his studio when I got there?”

“Yeah like five times,” Jimin replied. “But you know, he let you into his studio too when you two first met.”

“It’s different though,” I answered, glumly.

“How?”

“Because she’s pretty and girlfriend material. I’m ugly and friend material.”

“Don’t say that, Y/N.”

“It’s true though,” I said, feeling my lips quiver. “He only hooked up with me because he was wasted.”

“Y/N, you’re being a sad drunk right now.”

I sucked in a breath, opening my eyes to see Jimin sitting cross-legged and scowling down at me. “Not sad. Just realistic.”

I moved to grab my wine bottle only to be intercepted by Jimin. “Y/N, you’re drunk.”

“No I’m not,” I let out an exasperated laugh.

“Yeah you are. We were only supposed to drink a little bit.” Jimin said. “Plus you still have to finish your painting. Can you even hold a paintbrush right now?”

“Of course I can!” I rolled onto my stomach and pushed myself onto my legs only to feel the room spinning beneath my feet.

“Woah!” I let out a giggle as I felt Jimin’s arms come around me, catching me by the waist and gently lowering me back to my seat on the ground.

“Good reflexes Minie!” I applauded, laughing when he answered with a grumble.

“Yeah, you’re drunk. I’m getting you a ride.”

“I’m a big girl. I can get home by myself just fine,” I argued back. He answered with the sound of his cellphone dialing. “Urgh, you guys never listen to me.”

“Hey, are you busy right now?” I blinked lazily at Jimin’s profile as he ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m at the art studio…Yeah, I know it’s past midnight. We were drinking.”

“Are you calling Joon? Hobi? It’s Hobi isn’t it?” I giggled, reaching for his cellphone. “Hobi come drink with us!”

“Yeah, you hear that right? You need to come get her.”

“Come get drunkkk Hobiii!”

“You know exactly why I’m calling you.”

“Hobi, when you get here bring another bottle of wine please! Love you~!”

“Really, is that really how you’re going to handle things? You know, at some point you have to reciprocate. You know that right? She’s not always going to come knocking on your door-”

“Minie! Why are you talking for so long? Let’s celebrate!”

Jimin sighed, holding a finger to my face as I pouted. “I don’t know why you have some strange vendetta against me hanging out with her, but clearly I’m here and you aren’t. But dude, she’s a mess right now.” Jimin gave me a look before tucking hair strands behind my ear. “Come before it’s too late and I change my mind.”

“Change your mind about what?” I asked as he tucked his cellphone back into his pants pocket.

He smiled before ruffling my hair. “Nothing, you little drunkard.”

-

When I wake up, I feel warm all over, wrapped in sheets that smell like home. Light filters ever so slightly between the black blinds and Yoongi’s arm is securely wrapped around my waist. I take in another breath, closing my eyes and wetting my lips. Surprisingly, my mouth doesn’t have the usual cotton-mouth feeling that wine always gifts me every morning-after.

A small smile makes its way to my lips as the foggy memories of last night come back to me.

The blurry feeling of Yoongi’s back against my chest, his hands squeezing my thighs, his hair tickling the side of my face. He smelled like fresh shampoo.

“You idiot alcoholic,” he grumbled.

“Yoongles? When did you get here?”

“Your project is due and you’re getting drunk with Jimin?”

“Has your back always been this warm Yoongi? You should come to my place and be my heater replacement.”

“You want to go back to your place?” he stopped in his tracks, adjusting my weight across his back with a bounce in his knees.

“I want to stay like this forever.”

He chuckled, continuing his walk. “I guess I have to hit the gym then.”

“Was that a fat joke?” I mumbled into the crook of his neck. “You smell good.”

“That’s because your lame friend called me right when I finished showering,” he sighed. “Come on, Y/N, we’re two steps away from home now. Stop wiggling, will you?”

“Hey, I’m drunk, what’s your excuse?”

He sighed, muttering under his breath. “And people say you lose brain cells from alcohol.”

I smiled, pressing my cheek to his jawline.

-

“Alright, there you go,” he said, bending over until I hit his bed.

“Oh, this feels nice,” I exhaled into the sheets.

“Don’t sleep yet, let’s get you changed…Y/N? Y/N?...Damn it.”

“I’m awake,” I whined out. “I just can’t open my eyes. They weigh a ton!”

“You’re such a pain in the ass,” he grumbled, tugging me up by the arms.

“Don’t lie, you love my ass.”

He only huffed, pulling my t-shirt up and off me.

“Right?” I asked again, eyes peeking open to glance a blurry Yoongi. “Right, Yoongi?”

He sighed again, working on my jeans now.

“Yoongi?”

“What?” he mumbled, hands coming up behind my back to unclasp my bra.

“Do you love…my ass?” I blubbered, eyes suddenly watering as he slipped a fresh tee over my head.

“Hey,” he whispered softly, fingers brushing softly at my disheveled hair. “No drunk crying on me, baby. You have the cutest ass, okay?”

“In the whole world?”

He chuckled, wiping at the tear that had fallen down my cheek. “In existence. Now come on, let’s get you to the bathroom. Wine teeth is not a good look on you.”

-

I turned around in his arms. Even in his sleep, Yoongi had a way of frowning. I let out a bitter smile. Or maybe that’s just the way he looked when he was around me. Perhaps with that other girl, he would be smiling.

I snuggled closer, burying my face into his chest. I could hear the steady beating of his heart. How long did I have until we can no longer be this close? Until Yoongi finds a girl he actually loves and not just for her cute butt? I bit at my quivering lip.

I knew our situation wouldn’t last forever. Friends with benefits never do. I never anticipated for it to end so soon though. What happens when Yoongi gets a girlfriend? Will I lose him as a friend too?

“Y/N?” Yoongi croaked, his groggy voice vibrating from his chest. I felt his hands come up, fingers threading through my hair softly. “Can you breathe like that?”

I smiled, pressing my nose closer against his chest. “You smell nice.”

I could feel him hug me tighter, feel his laughter closer to my skin, a kiss to the top of my head. “I know,” he whispered, amused. “You told me that all night.”

“I know, I remember,” I chuckled. “I meant it.”

“You always do.”

I lifted my head from his chest, smiling when he met my eyes. Soft brown in the dim light.

“Thanks for taking care of me last night,” I whispered.

He smiled, fingers pressing against my hip. “Of course, I’m always here.”

I grinned, feeling a shiver of excitement. It’s weird. It’s so easy to forget all my worries when he’s with me.

“That’s what friends are for.” He added, pulling me closer again.

I felt a sinking in my stomach.

Okay, that was faster than usual. Reality slapping me in the face.

“When was the last time you showered?” he added, nuzzling into the crook of my neck. “You know, you’re not a starving artist quite yet. Take advantage of your shower, Y/N. And shampoo—”

“Hey,” I interrupted, pushing away from him. He answered with an amused smile. “You’ll…You’d tell me if you ever fell in love right?”

“Hm?” Yoongi looked back at me, eyes wide, mouth slightly agape. “Wh-”

“I-I mean, just cause, we probably shouldn’t…if you have someone else you like…not that you have to tell me or anything. I just…I don’t know what I’m talking about. Am I still drunk?” I laughed awkwardly, sliding out of his bed.

“Hey,”

“Oh! You know what? I didn’t finish my painting last night!” I exclaimed, pulling my pants haphazardly up my legs. “Gotta go do that then. Wish me luck! See you later Yoongi!”

“Y/N wait!”

His hands grabbed at my arm before I could run away. He looked at me in exasperation, tugging on my wrist to sit back down on the bed.

“Do you plan on running away to Jimin every time things get weird between us?” he muttered, eyebrows furrowing as he glanced at my fisted hands. He bit at his lip, his fingers unfurling my own.

I sighed, feeling his warmth in my palm. “So you feel it too? The weirdness?”

He nodded slightly. “It’s been extra weird lately, even coming from a weirdo like you.”

I wanted to laugh at the familiar nickname, maybe even bite back with my own little tease. Instead, all I felt was a tightness in my throat. I thought I could avoid this moment. It was happening though. Right now.

The talk.

“Hey, what’s going on?” he whispered softly, head tilting to meet my wavering eyes. A month ago, I’d probably giggle at his bedhead right about now. Maybe take a jab at his eye crust or joke about the fact that we were having this conversation while my fly was still undone.

All of that seemed unimportant though, because the only thought racing through my mind was the fact that this might be the last time I get to see Yoongi like this. It broke my heart. I should’ve stayed asleep longer, savored his warmth and the sound of his heartbeat against me.

“I’m sorry,” I finally croak out against the tightening of my throat. I look away, feeling the heat against my eyes steadily rising. I blink more in a sad attempt to keep the dam from breaking.

“Why are you sorry?” He squeezes my fingers.

When I look up, he looks so worried, it makes my vision go wet and blurry. “For making things weird. I don’t want it to be, I swear. And she really is pretty, Yoongi, you’ve got great taste. I hope she makes you happy too. Don’t worry about me okay? I just…I just want you to be happy. I want to be happy for you, I really do.”

“Then why are you crying?” he asked.

It’s as he says this that the hot tears spill over.

I pull my hands away, hurrying to wipe them away, but the dam is broken. The tears overflow without pause.

“I’m sorry,” I sniffle, feeling my whole head heat up with shame. This was not how I wanted our conversation to go like. “I-I know we started this without expectations. It’s supposed to be a fun fling…and I’m ruining the fun with…with…these feelings. I’m sorr-”

Yoongi’s lips cover my own and my eyes go wide. Behind the blur of the waterworks, his eyes are closed and his hands are coming around my waist, pulling me closer into him. When he pulls my bottom lip between his own, my eyes fall shut. I can feel his heart beating against my palms and despite the urgency of his hands, Yoongi’s lips are gentle against mines. Soothing. The negative thoughts cycling through my mind like an endless race track stops. All thoughts seem to float away and I let it.

Right now, I am in Yoongi’s arms and his lips are on mine.

When he pulls away slowly, the moment feels unreal. It’s hard to gather my own thoughts.

“You…I…what about the girl?”

“Y/N,” Yoongi breathes out and I feel goosebumps on my skin. “Who the hell are you talking about?”

“The girl?” I uttered, eyes searching his. He really did look confused. “The one you like? I saw her last time…in your studio.”

“Were you looking in the mirror?”

“I…what?”

He let out a soft sigh, breaking into a smile. “The one I like is you. If you’re talking about Suran, she’s just a friend.”

I paused, staring at the small smile blooming on Yoongi’s face. “But…you let her into your studio.”

“She’s a singer,” he explained, intertwining his fingers between mine and giving me a squeeze. “I’m producing a song for her. It’s her first EP…it’s my first time producing for someone else too. We just wanted it to be perfect. You know how I get when I’m working.”

“I know,” I finally admitted, feeling a smile creep onto my own lips. I looked down, staring at our hands. “You’re a perfectionist.”

“Nothing happened between us. If anything,” he paused, looking away. “I’m the one who has to worry.”

I looked at him incredulously. “Me?”

Yoongi scowled, jerking his hand away to cross his arms over his chest. “Don’t act like you’re innocent. This whole semester, you and Jimin have been living in your own bubble. That boy is all heart eyes for you and you know it!”

“Know what? The reason I run to Jimin is to agonize over you ignoring me!”

“Then stop running to him,” Yoongi’s face softened. “Run to me instead.”

I smiled, scooting over onto his lap. “Can I be the first to hear the song when you’re done?”

He chuckled, hands wrapping around my waist. He tugged me closer, pressing me into his chest. “Before that, let’s clear the air. I like you and you only.”

“And Jimin is just a friend to me. I love you, Yoongi,” I whispered, planting a soft kiss to his chest. “You don’t have to say it back. I just want you to know how I feel.”

“I love you too, you weirdo.”

I smiled, feeling the vibration of his chuckle against my cheek.

“I should have made things more clear from the beginning. Things were going so well and I got comfortable so I never thought we needed to talk it out. But obviously, we needed this. You didn’t feel good about Suran and well…I wasn’t very nice to Jimin either.”

I lifted my head, watching the way Yoongi flushed pink with embarrassment.

“You were jealous,” I teased, flashing him a grin.

He rolled his eyes, giving my hip a squeeze. “Yeah well, at least I didn’t show up at your door drunk and then run away only to sit outside on the curb.”

I gasped, slapping his chest. “You knew?!”

He sighed, pulling me into a hug and nuzzling into the crook of my neck. “Only because Jimin lectured me about it last night. You sure know how to pick your friends.”

“Hey, at least it was Jimin and not Hobi,” I joked, wrapping my arms around him. He was warm in my arms. “So, does this mean we’re all good now?”

Yoongi smiled, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “All clear.”