#the amount of deeply regressive ideas about transitioning in there

[vriskadyke]

biggest homestuck fan red flag is liking that crow strider AU

[creekschaoscorner]

This is about two parts analysis and two parts personal connections, so bear with me here. The first half is talking about certain lines from Malevolent Part 43 through the perspective of a trans allegory, and the second half is the rest of my thoughts about the episode. This is gonna be long

SPOILERS FOR PART 43

“You cannot even admit it to yourself. Hell brings about the truth in people…… It’s who you are: A King. Such a being as yourself… playing human is only a facade.”

This whole section, where John is talking about regressing to his former ways in the Dark World, reminds me of how sometimes people are forced to de transition due to safety, peer pressure, or a variety of reasons. The hag’s response to this only emphasizes the parallel- treating it as though because John caved under immense duress this is the “truth” of him.

“From what you have told me, you are simply… (Momentary whispers.) Lost.”

The experience of being told that we’re just confused, just misguided, is something that I think many trans people can relate to. Especially autistic trans people.

“Perhaps it was affecting me, or… or I was meant to be back there…” “Ah. So there is hope for you, yet.”

There are times, when it’s hard to be completely happy with your transition. It can make you wonder if maybe you’re not really trans, if somehow you’re faking, or like you’re destined to be what you were? It’s a miserable feeling to have. But to have someone treat it as proof? As proof that you are still capable of being ‘saved’, because they are so sure they know you better than you know yourself? That’s something I think an unfortunate amount of people are familiar with.

“You introduced yourself as the King in Yellow. Did you not?”

Presenting as your AGAB temporarily for safety, job security, familial pressures, etc. is such a common phenomenon that ‘boymoding’ and ‘girlmoding’ are terms created to describe it. What the hag is doing here is reminiscent of someone taking that and using it against a person- claiming that because they had to present as their AGAB that means that *must* still be who they are. The parallel is continued with her insisting that John must still want the power that comes with the King in Yellow’s name (I know trans men who still use the women’s restroom, because they’d rather be misgendered than harassed).

“This role you’ve been playing. Your time pretending to care.” So many trans people- particularly nonbinary trans people- have been told that it’s a phase, something they’ll grow out of.

So many trans people- particularly nonbinary trans people- have been told that it’s a phase, something they’ll grow out of.

“You have decided to be something that robs the world of its King.”

Sounds so similar to ‘You’re robbing your parents of their son/daughter’. It’s a gut punch to hear, the idea that you somehow owe people to be something you’re not.

“I cannot… fit into your version of what I must be.”

As a gnc trans person, this one resonated with me. Even when it comes to the people who have been my biggest supporters, especially my mom, I can’t fit into their idea of what my gender should be. I just can’t. That doesn’t mean they don’t love me, and that doesn’t mean their support doesn’t matter, it just means I have to define myself on my own. That’s something John has come to terms with on his own, just like I have.

I am someone who has struggled for a long time with an often compulsive need to “be a good person”. It’s made me a pushover, it’s made me self-destructive, it’s made me miserable. The black and white morality that comes with being autistic doesn’t help. It’s impossible to be 100% good all the time. It’s impossible to 100% good in everyone’s eyes. Good, Evil, they’re all subjective- everyone contains multitudes. I contain multitudes. There was something deeply healing about hearing John call himself both.

I have struggled with the darkest parts of myself a lot, especially in recent times, and so has John. But the fact that I can be mean, or selfish, or petty- it doesn’t make me unworthy of love. It doesn’t make John unworthy of love. When I fuck up I still have to take accountability for it, I still want to strive to be better, but I am allowed to be complicated. I’m allowed to be messy. Hearing John acknowledge that about himself out loud felt like confirmation that I am allowed to acknowledge it about me as well. (I haven’t even murdered anyone, so if John can accept himself so can I). I don’t know it I completely agree on John’s outlook on life, but that’s okay. I don’t need to. It’s his own, and that’s all it needs to be.

It feels silly to say, but I feel like my relationship with John as a character has grown so much, especially with these past couple episodes. I like to joke about it a lot, but I really did not like John when I first started Malevolent. I thought he was a fantastic character, but I couldn’t stand him. His manipulation, the way he deflected blame, it got under my skin. My opinion on him had just as many ups and downs as Arthur’s did, if not more. One moment when I was live-blogging to my friends I’d be typing “JOHN STOP BEING A FUCKING DICK”, the next moment “guys I think John is growing on me”. But this episode made me really feel like for the first time, I really understand him. Like I’m seeing for the first time him as everything he is. And that’s really special to me, in a way that’s hard to describe.

And the hag. Oh, the hag. She’s everything I love in a villain, it’s like she was crafted to get under my skin. She’s a lot like the kind of villains I love to write, and I’ve gotta say, being on the opposite end- being the audience- and getting twisted in that manipulation? It was AWESOME. I am delighted to say that I got caught up in her story at first, that I almost lost sight of the goal like John did. She’s incredibly written and I feel like I understand her, and that just adds such an extra layer to her cruelty. There’s so much I want to say about her but I don’t even know how to put it into words. She’s a wonderfully written character and I’m going to be thinking about her for a while.

This episode was beautifully written and masterfully crafted, and has more than earned the praise it’s been given.

[henrysglock]

transfem henry fic... ive been saying estrogen would've fixed her

I have sooooo much to say re: Henry and femininity/womanhood...especially in the way that his story is a traditionally "female" one (i.e. him being stolen with the goal of exploiting him to produce children)/and how differently Henrietta Creel would have been received as opposed to Henry Creel in terms of the "evil" label vs the "traumatized" label and the difference in amount of sympathy/compassion that the two of them would have received (knowing that Henry received little to no sympathy or compassion from the fandom in large part because he's a man).

But also just to be clear, Henry in this fic is transfem as a result of his bad childhood. Having had it beaten into him that he has to be normal, and that not being normal is bad/wrong, we see him latch onto normalcy as a shield—especially in terms of romance.

Thus, with the premise of this fic, it becomes Henry going "What's more normal? What makes me a more 'normal' person?" and having to choose between "There's nothing wrong with me physically, I'm just gay/It's something 'wrong' with me as a person" or "There's nothing 'wrong' with me as a person, I'm just a 'normal' woman trapped in a man's body through no 'fault' of my own".

And a lot of that boils down to cognitive distortions, deeply internalized homophobia, the ingrained culture of "being gay is a choice you make/you're choosing to be a 'degenerate'", and the idea of using "I was just born wrong/It's not something I can control, thus I am not a 'bad' person" as a mental shield to avoid having to confront the fact that he's actually just a gay man who doesn't want to admit that he's gay.

He will confront it eventually. Trust. At which point, however, it becomes an argument of "I'm going on 40 years old, I've been living as a woman—stealth, no less—for half that time, and it's not something I'm uncomfortable with/I'm comfortable in how I look and how I'm addressed...so isn't it just easier to go on that way rather than potentially uprooting all of my relationships over a non-issue?" and how presentation doesn't necessarily = gender/the concept of non-dysphoric transness and how being perceived as a man or a woman is immaterial for some people, so while they may identify as one of the two, it doesn't particularly matter to them if their body and presentation match that identity.

Henry can go "...yeah, I think I was just afraid and confused about my homosexuality, and I think I really was a man all along, but at this point I'm comfortable in who I am and how I look, so there's really no need to detransition" and turn a fearful, regressive thought pattern into a decently progressive one via self-acceptance. He might not be a woman, but if presentation isn't a source of discomfort for him, then why fix what ain't broke? He knows what he needs to know about himself, and ease of existence takes precedence—especially in the Reagan era, when being openly queer was dangerous. (I say as if it isn't still dangerous...but I digress)

It's also a commentary on the detriments of forced conformity and how it can push people into the "wrong" labels/identities, and how putting those kinds of pressures and restrictions on children can lead to mental distortions that they'll be forced to deal with later—whether it be forcing themselves into lavender marriages or delaying their transition or becoming confused as to which "type" of queer they are based on what they can accept themselves as within the frame of mind that was imposed upon them...while also addressing the understanding that it may not always be an unhappy thing, even if it's not "correct" for them/queer people can find a way to be comfortable even if the labels they live with are "wrong", and that your happiness takes precedence over using the "right" words (staring at everyone who gets in a snit over Iesboys)/it's okay to be confused about yourself as long as you're happy/etc.

(and if anyone wants to start shit over me writing a fic like this, know that I'm pulling a lot of these cognitive distortions from my own personal experiences as a trans guy who definitely talked himself into thinking he was just a straight woman. i'm writing about real life and lived experience. so kindly screw off.)

Anyway :3 sorry to ramble slightly off topic but I love talking about the scaffolding behind my fics

[centrally-unplanned]

A personal fascination I have discussed before is a kind of ‘cultural obsolescence’; when developments in cultural products are not just a matter of fads or taste, but are for various reasons just ‘superior’ products (from an economic perspective, all taste is of course subjective). Music vs poetry is my go to - poetry used to be a popular, hot-right-now product to make, but the rise of recorded music & the pop genre relegated it imo forever to the fringe, as poetic lyrics set to music is just “poetry: but better” for most people. 

Anituber Pause & Select recently had a thread responding to the idea someone put out that Lindsay Ellis ‘started’ the media video essay genre, which even if you take that to mean she popularized the genre is still a laughable claim - fair to say Lindsay Ellis was one of the most successful in an era of video essay YouTube (~2017′s “polish & politics” era) but that is an era nowhere near the start of it. But anyway, in the thread P&S also laments how Lindsay’s era was the tail end of the ‘visual’ YouTube essay:

I do want to be upfront about something: I think a lot of video essays have kinda regressed in terms of their complexity as video essays. A lot of video essays nowadays are just "sit in front of camera and ramble," which admittedly is something I do.

But you look at stuff like Kevin Lee's "Transformers: The Premake" or Kogonada's "What is Neorealism?" and you can see content creators in the early and mid 2010's very deeply grapple with the video essay as a VISUAL format.

I agree with him on this trend - the ~2010′s had this growing focus on making the video essay justify the fact that it was a video essay vs just a book, with using cinematic techniques, intensive visual elements, hell even the cutesy stick-figure graphics of CGP Grey-esque genre to communicate ideas in more interesting ways. But this had faded over time, and while visual openings or a sequence or two for videos are still pretty common the ‘person talking at the camera’ era of YouTube+ is here.

And I think its here to stay, because the 2010′s trend was, from a market perspective, misguided. The Visual Essay was an attempt to *justify* the existence of the essay, but while it was experimenting with intense design Twitch was experimenting with parasocial personality. Its actually hard to tell someone about how streaming came off to people who had never heard of it in like 2008 - unscripted people talking about...playing a video game? It was literally a joke. And honestly 2008 streaming (or maybe Lets Plays, proto-streaming) were themselves underdeveloped - how to adopt that personality, how to make 2 hours of grinding in Persona 4 interesting to audience, was all primitive. But new talent entered the scene, better techniques became standard, and then a tipping point happened and people realized they loved it. They didn’t need any bells and whistles at all, at least not obvious ones, just a person they liked talking about interesting things was more than enough.

And this spilled over to video essays. Of course, people still make high effort visual videos - CGP Grey and his genre still exist, people like Folding Ideas or Defunctland go all out on filming locations or animations, etc. Its not as bad as the poetry vs music transition, it wasn’t a slaughter. But it is a numbers game - Folding Ideas can do on-location shoots of NFT graffiti or Lake Minnewanka and he will get the same exact amount of views as Jenny Nicholson talking in room holding a Twilight Sparkle body pillow. Those videos get the same rewards for a fraction of the costs and time, which means they will be produced at way higher rates. And since people *also* learned in the 2010′s that they can actually enjoy putting on a playlist of animated podcasts of Emirichu’s childhood fictional crushes while doing chores for 3 hours, they will like the people who output content faster even more, they can make them a part of their lives the way streamers are.

As always part of this story is market expansion and segmentation - being on youtube in 2008 listening to video essays meant you were a fucking weirdo, so if those essays didn’t include parody Lucky Star dance sequences you weren’t gonna hang; but in 2022 Minecraft Youtubers are literally the most popular children’s media on the planet, everyone is there. Which means normies are there, which means the market caters to them. I will always hyper-value those high effort visual essays, and continue to hunt for the Pause & Selects, the Hazels, the Soup Emporiums, and those creators will develop brands around that. But I am the niche, I am the guy reading poetry in the 21st century, and people like me only have so much money & eyeballs to throw around. Pivoting to camera-talking will pay off for 99% of creators for the foreseeable future, which means that style of video essay is the future. Its the superior product.

(Edit to clarify, 0% of this is judgmental about either type of video or the trend itself. Or, I guess, poetry or music)

[rivetgoth]

I just feel like the entire idea of trying to recreate a binary system via categorizing people as “binary” or “not binary” is a total failure of the trans rights movement. I think if we are serious about dismantling sex segregation it is completely contradictory to then act like there is a tangible difference between the experiences of trans individuals based on what labels they use— And that’s all that binary vs nonbinary really amounts to, semantics and interpersonal identity, because at the end of the day there are “binary” trans people who “boymode” or “girlmode,” who never fully medically transition, who actively choose to live a lifestyle or present in a way that is completely gender nonconforming, while there are self-identifying nonbinary people who fully medically transition and comfortably live as the opposite sex. The trans community has put soooo much emphasis on the fact that there is no wrong way to be trans and yet still seems so convinced that there is any tangible way to delineate between binary and nonbinary identity, it’s just ridiculous. Systemically and materially, nobody is enacting different policies or treatment against binary and nonbinary trans individuals, and the issues one of these groups face 1000% overlaps with the issues the other does to the point that there is no good faith reason to make a distinction aside from regressive and dismissive “I have it worse than you” finger-pointing.

I genuinely believe that all trans people, regardless of where they are in their transition or how they identify, are “not binary” in a way that matters in western cishetero society. The gender binary doesn’t have space for trans identity. It’s built on reproduction, sex segregation, the nuclear family unit, heterosexuality, gender roles, and a plethora of expectations related to sex and the body that trans people can AT BEST try our absolute damn hardest to conform to but frankly never fully will. Trans women are not seen as “binary women” and trans men are not seen as “binary men.” The vast majority of society, even queer/LGBT spaces, mean something very particular when they say “man” or “woman” and trans people are not included within that category no matter how “binary” their identity is.

I’ve said it before and I will keep saying it, I identify as a “binary” man because that is how I view myself and it’s what best describes my material desires, how I wish to be perceived and the choices I’ve made for my body. But I also have not undergone bottom surgery and I have no plans for a vaginectomy, by choice. This is a deeply personal decision for me but it’s one I don’t mind sharing in part because I think it’s an experience worth talking about— I’ve jokingly said that the gender binary has no place in it for cuntboys but I mean it! I have referred to myself as genderqueer in the past despite calling myself “just” a man because my experience with gender is “queered.” The labels I use or the way I perceive myself doesn’t negate that the choices I’ve made regarding my body and my life mean that the gender binary will never be something I fully fit into. I think trans bodies are inherently nonbinary and I think that the trans experience is inherently nonbinary, because the gender binary is just as much tied in with conforming to the cishetero sex binary as well. Our bodies are not binary male or binary female. Just the act of choosing to take our identities into our own hands and modify our body to our choosing displaces us from the binary. And I’d even go a step further and say that one of my big issues with the trans community at large right now is the fact that so many trans activists have fallen into this milquetoast respectability mindset that sex is an immovable, fixed reality and as trans people it’s just our gender changing, not our sex. This is not true. Sex is not fixed, sex is not a binary, & transsexuality is real.

[everythingthemoontouches]

💙Hi there! , First of all i want to tell you that i love your blog! And i love how your posts are so accurate!💙 If its okay with you could you please do me a favor by describing how others see me,my appearance or more specifically the vibe I radiate to others! It would mean alot to me if you you do that💙I'm a cancer sun,leo rising,Lilith sextile asc, Pluto trine asc, Uranus opposition asc, Moon opposition asc, mars sextile venus, mars opposition neptune, asteroid lilith conjunct mc and jupiter in the 1st house!💙

Hola!

Thank you that's really kind of you 💛💕

You know that quote that says Cinderella never asked for a prince. All she wanted was a night out and a dress. You kind of exude a similar vibe but with respect to leadership positions. 'I never asked to be Queen/King, but the people have spoken' kind of an energy. You would be equally happy to be by yourself, learning about the subconscious mind, higher realms and other esoteric science.

For more on Jupiter in LEO I'd recommend watching Astrofinesse.

For jupiter in the first there's KRS.

🌻As a Leo rising you come across as someone outgoing, with a playful energy but you're also somehow someone people would expect to see in a position of authority. You're drawn to people who stimulate you intellectually and love to exchange ideas.

😬If you have an Aquarius saturn you could be having some challenges in your relationships since December 2020 as saturn transits your 7th house. I'd suggest practicing discernment in this area as well as signing contracts with people until it passes( early 2023) ..

😇12th house sun could take on other people's energy. I feel like you need some time away, by yourself, preferably at the beach / pool/ shower to declutter, clear your head and replenish your sense of Self. You could be highly intuitive. If this resonates, I'd urge you to look up empath drain and how to protect yourself from energy vampires.

Ruler of the ascendant in the 12th :

spirituality could be a huge part of your life. For some people this could show a father (figure) who was convicted or worked in a prison / asylum. They could also have a really remote job. Since the sun is also your own personal identity, you could profit off these themes. Working in a mental health facility, overseas, in esoteric crafts.

🌛With your moon in the 7th house, you probably attract a lot of older women, (queen of swords) nurturing energies . Your mom could have a major influence on any business partnerships that you enter.

In relationships you could have a here today gone tomorrow kind of a presence. This is because as the moon waxes and wanes so does your attraction / attachment to specific people?

♒Aquarius moon : it could be really hard for you to express your feelings. So Instead of asking for a hug there could be a tendency to say something like ' ew imagine asking for one?' you leave a place better than you found it. If you watch hindi movies, 3 Idiots could be a movie you really resonate with. ( I pretty much spent the day looking up the lead actor, who has major aquarius placements and his films have always been disruptive with a really nice social message that left people talking for years after they were released. I tell you this because he shares 2 of your big 3 - aquarius and cancer.)

Going off on this tangent you could be a well respected teacher / writer / entertainer. Jupiter in LEO could help with this.

I do feel like you need a certain amount of inventiveness in your relationships. The people you're with are people who introduce you to new hobbies / ideas / technologies. You need to feel like you guys learn something new or create something that matters together. This is enhanced by uranus in the 7th house. You could come across really cold because you always give people the naked honest truth when asked. You do this from a place of love. I'm reminded of the Queen of Swords card in the rider Waite tarot. Not everyone has the maturity to take it. Or maybe they've just had a bad day. It is what it is. Perhaps try to not be so incisive if this is something you struggle with.

In the same vein, if I asked you to write down how you were feeling how long would it take for you to identify the right emotion. How honest are you with yourself?

Moon and Uranus being in the same house could show that stagnation could really hurt your mental health / happiness / satisfaction levels.

With a saturn ruled moon I feel like I need to remind you to not be so hard on yourself. Like. The world won't crumble to dust if you allow yourself to take care of you once in a while.there's only so much you can do.

All those coffee mugs will catch up. There's no such thing as extra hours in the day. A lack of sleep manifests as early signs of aging. No hate for the elderly but arthritis is not a fun ailment to have. Do you wanna be 60 with 80 year old nervous system problems? I rest my case.

Uranus and moon aspect your ascendant so you could have a slightly plump look?

Jupiter in the first house people usually have prominent thighs. I had a friend with this placement and when we were growing up she used to complain of chafed thighs a lot?

Mars sextile venus you could be your own type? The way you act and the way you want your future partners to express love could be quite similar which is good for healthy relationships.

There could be a tendency to spend impulsively.

With Mars sextiling venus you could be someone who earns more the more active their lifestyle is? Like, you may need to be an agile learner to keep money flowing in .

Jupiter in LEO in a woman's chart usually shows they'd have a financially well off spouse so money may not be a huge concern. He could be a sailor or earn via exports/ navy. It's hard to say without knowing where your Saturn is.

The image you project to the world could be a lot more outgoing than how you actually feel. You're more private than people think.

With a fire rising, water sun and air moon you could either be a really balanced person or just have a number of clashing ideas on who to be, what to do and achieve.

Descendant : The people that hate on you could attack your need to stand out /try to dim your time in the spotlight. Think aquarius themes of standing out to improve community clashing with Leo's need to stand out solely because it helps their ego. Like your confidence could trigger the part if them that felt judged negatively for expressing their individuality.

Do you feel like you thrive in chaos? I'm guessing you're atleast in your late 20s if not older, so you might have gotten better at dealing with people acting unexpectedly. Your mom could have been unpredictable. Really intelligent, but forgets to eat ..

🥤🦀As a cancer sun, you could be the friend your friends come to for advice. There could be a tendency to be a little too selfless. I think your aqua moon really serves as a shield to those who try to take advantage of your caring nature. Have you considered a career in psychic medium ship? Or any spiritual art/ past life regression / you get the drift..

Is there a family craft or hobby that you could monetize? Jupiter in LEO could signify ancestral gains.

Lilith and Pluto aspects to ascendant can make you come across really sexy / a bit unapproachable because people feel like you have some kind of power that places you above them?

Due to this, people with Pluto / Lilith aspects can feel some kind of hurt around people clearing up the path around them if that makes sense.

Jupiter opposite moon : there could be a clash between you want to do VS what you feel you should be doing.

Jupiter in the first house : you could have been born rich? Or people just perceive you that way. They also see you as someone wordly wise and lucky in general. You could know a lot about a wide variety of things. Specially on topics related to appearance, personal development, image consciousness etc. Since the ruler of the first is in the 12th I feel like some of your wisdom comes from a divine source. Like you're tapping into some kind of a collective reservoir of knowledge. In starseed terminology we would refer to this as downloads.

Jupiter rules the 8th house and 5th house.

So love, romance, games, early education may have been a bit of a breeze for you.

Jupiter is usually a bit of a celibate spiritual person. So, while it may make you really wise with respect to things like the occult / tarot / other 8th house themes, I'm not sure how it would impact your sex life with a spouse. Sex could be either a deeply spiritual experience for you or take on more neptunian traits. Addiction / alcoholism / drug use the works. Jupiter expands the themes of the house it rules so a word of caution there.

Travelling could bring you luck. Or even love.

Did I hear Mars opposite Neptune?

This could be a literal battlefield. You could feel like you need to work for love.if Neptune is unconditional love and Mars is your drive, then you could literally match to get to taht elusive unconditional sense of belonging /love / acceptance. But what are you marching towards really? A mirage? With this aspect I'd really be on the guard against addiction of any kind. Neptune is enticing, alluring, mocking Mars for its need to conquer. It could lend a really nice swagger to your walk. A runway model could benefit from thus placement. At uts best this aspect imbues you with creativity, inspiration, otherworldly imagination and the energy required to turn your abstract ideas of art into something tangible.

Here's a source for more on this placement. Sometimes I find that the comments really help me make sense of my own placements

Toodles

Before I sign off, I just have to say this :please try to restrict asks to 2-3 placements. You can send in multiple asks if you'd like, but answering them all in one ask can get a bit cluttered and I'd hate to miss out on something 😊

Hope this helped 💕as always, I'd really appreciate your feedback on this take on how these placements affect you.

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

The thing I love about Otto, he is the guy who...Peter Parker is supposed to be the everyman, and in a lot of ways he is, but he is always dating the most beautiful women in the world...supermodels, Gwen Stacy...And Otto was the guy, I am not a big fan of the late-90s as an era of Spider-Man. There was a character called Stunner who came along and was this big Amazonian woman with super-strength, who was Otto's partner and love-interest and the big reveal was that she was a virtual reality simulation and the real person was an overweight woman in a virtual reality machine. But when Otto finds out he says, I didn't love you for what you looked like, I loved you for your mind...I can’t remember if she [Aunt May]  saw Betty [Brant] as a bit of a Jezebel because she was older

We er...we really need to unpack this. I already did a post where I cited the above as part of why Christos Gage should never have been allowed to write Spider-Man.

But lets dive deeper into the idiocy of this. 

First of all if nothing else the above quote and panels really do prove beyond doubt that Marvel knew what they were doing when they paired Slott and Gage...well sorta. Gage and Slott’s approaches to Spider-Man fundamentally come from the same place of fundamental misunderstanding and regressive beliefs thus they were perfect to work together. It’s just that Gage is a comparatively more competent writer than Slott and therefore Slott should’ve been HIS understudy and fill-in guy not the other way around.

So let’s dive into the less awful bits first. Like Slott Gage doesn’t know his continuity and is too lazy to even google it.

Let’s put aside how Stan Lee himself  stated Betty Brant is younger  than Peter NOT older, the age difference would’ve been insignificant enough (Peter was a senior in high school when he was dating Betty, that’s stated in the issues) so what is this ‘Jezebel’ crap? The fact his mind would go to that rather than just Aunt May thinking MJ would be a better match is at best eyebrow raising.

Moving on, the crux of his assessment of Otto and Stunner’s relationship is way off the mark. Ignoring the fact that Stunner and the reveals made about her occurred in 1994-1995 (so literally not the LATE 1990s at all), he’s totally distorted the story as it unfolded. As such let me show you some of the relevant pages.

Gage’s assessment of Otto and Stunner’s relationship hinges upon two interconnected ideas.

a) Otto was unaware that her stunning appearance was a facade and

b) That he didn’t care upon finding out

As you can see that is a distortion of what the actual stories conveyed.

Otto was always  aware Stunner’s appearance was a facade because he invented the technology that made it possible in the first place!

Otto also began dating her BEFORE she became Stunner. This does indeed support the idea that for him outer beauty is not that relevant. 

For myself I find this idea debatable for a few reasons. Not only in the above images does he directly refer to Stunner as beautiful and the love of such a beautiful woman makes him happy but in the classic Spec #75 Bill Mantlo implies Otto took a fancy to Felicia due to her being attractive.

I grant you it’s far from impossible to interpret that Otto in fact was referring to Stunner’s personality as beautiful and took a shining to Felicia for reasons beyond her looks. In fact I find that interpretation interesting. But both examples hurt the narrative of Otto being a man who doesn’t care about outer beauty, even before you get to the fact that in Superior he was oggling and actively trying to fucking rape Mary Jane! What exactly about her  ‘inner beauty’ led to him doing this?

Then of course you have his relationship with Aunt May which has been treated as genuinely romantic when it’s very unlikely to be that.

The truth is Doc Ock has been inconsistently written over the decades so pinning down that he’s a man who doesn’t care about a woman’s outer beauty in regards to his feelings for them is extremely iffy.

His dynamic with Stunner and Gage’s assessment is even iffier as the pages detailing his ‘courting’ of her prior to her becoming empowered can definitely be interpreted as him actively manipulating her for his own ends. He needed a test subject for his technology, a technology he was hoping could essentially ensure he’d live beyond the demise of his mortal body and mind (which obviously happened in Superior). Angela was that test subject, he either came across or scouted her out with the explicit intention of having her use his machine. 

Because we only get brief flashes of their relationship it’s unclear if he was 100% decieving and manipulating her (as he was to Anna Maria and Mary Jane) or if he was sincere in his affections, at least on some level. Maybe he even started out manipulating her but grew to genuinely care for her before or after her transformation into Stunner.

My point is it’s not this grand moral victory for Otto that he cared for Angela even though she was overweight.

Which brings me to the most damning thing about Gage’s comments.

According to him Otto is better than Peter because Otto didn’t date supermodels or sexy cat burglars.

Much like all his work with Otto before and during his Superior run, Gage practically wanks off the character.

You see Otto is ‘different. He’s not like ‘those other guys’, or more specifically ‘that Peter Parker guy’. HE doesn’t date supermodels or sexy cat burglars. 

He just keeps the sexy cat burglars as his ‘guests’ that he won’t let leave his lair, will date by deception and attempt to rape the supermodels and will probably manipulate vulnerable overweight women for his own selfish scientific pursuits and date them sincerely once they’ve transformed into wrestling divas.

Of course in reality, romantic and sexual attraction is something none of us can help and we are going to feel about whoever however we’re going to feel, and the harsh truth is a lot (but not all) of the time outer appearences do matter, or at least they do when it comes to initial attractions. Often in healthy relationships they matter less as time goes by, but are rarely totally irrelevant. Nobody, of any sex, gender or sexuality, is shallow for on some level taking looks into account for how they feel about a romantic or sexual partner, at least on some level.

In Peter’s case Gage’s assessment (which synchs up with Slott’s) of him as shallow is so asinine because he clearly doesn’t just care about looks. In fact semi-famously in the classic Romita stories his initial attraction for Mary Jane fades after he (incorrectly, and unfairly) starts to view her as shallow and little more than her looks.

No doubt about it that chicks’s as pretty as a pumpkin seed...and just about as shallow.

ASM #45*

Peter late of course dumps  Black Cat in part because she doesn’t love him for who he is, and only cares about him as Spider-Man. He wants someone who will share a life with him, whom he can connect with. If he was only interested in her because she was sexy why would he do that?

And of course this is to say nothing of the absolute denigration Gage’s comments pay to both MJ and her relationship with Peter.

I’ve felt this way for awhile now but to be blunt, if a writer ever just sums up MJ as a ‘supermodel’ I’m going to presume they either don’t understand her character and/or hold some messed up opinions. Putting aside how MJ hasn’t a model (super or otherwise) for most of her history it’s just messed up that everything else about her is dismissed in favour of pushing that profession and treating it as a summation of who she is as a character.** 

Because whenever creators or characters sum up MJ as a supermodel what they really mean is ‘she’s just a shallow, pretty face’.  Which is so facepalm worthy ironic because the crux of Mary Jane’s entire character since The Death of Gwen Stacy in 1973  has been that people THINK she is just a shallow pretty face but she in fact absolutely isn’t!

And aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall the stuff that is relevant to why she isn’t is literally the reason Spider-Man fell in love with her in the first place. All the guilt, regret, insecurities, bravery, sense of responsibility and inner strength that subverted what we thought we knew about her, that’s the shit that her and Spider-Man’s romance is built upon. 

How the fuck does anyone miss that! It’s not even like you need to read deeply to see it, just read a Wikipedia entry!

It isn’t the crux of Felicia’s character, but the same applies to her. What jackass in this day and age (or indeed since the 1980s) honestly thinks Black Cat is nothing but sex appeal? There is an entire goddam Black Cat ongoing series demonstrating she is more than that! Gage is a goddam relic at this point!

On the flipside of course is poor Anna Maria.

Once upon a time Anna Maria was the best character in Spider-Man. Back in the dark days of 2013 and 2014 when Superior was going strong, MJ was out of the picture and the best Spider-Man books on the stand were about a kid replacing a dead AU Peter Parker and Peter Parker’s clone, Anna Maria was a stand out.

A new character with a personality, likable, a new love interest for ‘Spider-Man’ that on paper made a certain amount of sense even though the circumstances were disgusting. And on top of that she provided a dash of representation that was handled in an appropriate way.

As time went by she gradually devolved as a character and went way off the rails to the point where now she’s being a misogynistic asshole to other women by judging them for their looks. It’s so fucked up because she herself has been judged for her looks, just in a very different way whilst the likes of those ‘shallow’ women she cites have never said a bad word to her or to my knowledge anyone else on the basis of how they were born. 

Good job Gage, this is probably the last time we’re going to see Anna Maria and you’ve fully transitioned me from a guy who kind of wanted her to stick around in some capacity as a regular supporting player for Peter into a guy who would be delighted for her to forgotten and never appear again. 

Fuck Gage.

Fuck Superior

Fuck the entire asinine, mishandled, clusterfuck of an era that outstayed it’s welcome circa December 2012!

*In fairness he does bring up he might just be thinking ill of MJ because he’s upset about other things. See, THAT is a more even handed and on point depiction of Peter Parker being flawed. But Stan Lee being a better writer than Gage or Slott shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone.

**Not to mention ‘supermodel’ shouldn’t even be used as shorthand for ‘shallow person’ in the first place. Are supermodels not people too? Are they incapable of being intelligent or having worth outside of their looks? I mean FFS we live in a world where this (starting at 3:37) really happened:

[spooky-scary-imagines]

Can you do Brahms Heelshire with a trans ftm reader?

((Of course! I really love doing trans!readers and I wish we had more of them. I’m ftm myself but I know everyone’s experience is different. So if I’ve said something hurtful or transphobic in anyway by accident. Please let me know. I want everyone to be happy with their requests!

When you first answer to the application to be the Heelshire’s new nanny, there’s some confusion all around. You’ve never nannied for a doll before and the Heelshires had never had a male nanny before. He’s a tad hesitant at first, but you treat the doll with such kindness and follow all the rules. Maybe you’d be a good nanny after all!

There’s even more confusion as he watches you. What are those shots you’re taking or patches you’re using? He’s never seen some articles of clothing you have like a binder (if you have one) or the like. He has so many questions but he has no way to ask them without  revealing himself. He doesn’t want to really intrude so he doesn’t try to watch you when you’re changing or in the shower.

Once he reveals himself to you, things go along as usual. He fears your anger or rejection if he presses you on any questions. Still, he’s very happy to have you around and be able to enjoy your company personally as opposed to through the doll. He’s never got to be around another boy besides his father or the man who delivers groceries. You’d understand things much more and he feels less intimidated by you. As he gets closer to you and more comfortable it’s no surprise that you and his relationship slowly becomes less platonic and familial.

You come out to him sometime after starting a romantic relationship with him. He doesn’t quite understand at first. He’s never heard of anyone like that before what does that even mean? He’s smart though, and will quickly start to get it if you explain it. You’re the same you he’s always cared for, and none of that would change no matter what.

As you transition there will be a fair amount of firsts for both of you, that you work through together. You’re going to have to work with him on some male and just general hygiene things he hasn’t had to worry about pretty much sense the fire. You’ll help teach him how to shave, encourage him to shower regularly, and other parts of basic self-care.

He’s very happy to help with whatever you need. You do so much to take care of him, he wants to do the same! If you need any assistance with testosterone or nursing in assistance if you ever have surgery, he’s happy to help! You have access to all the Heelshires large finances for any medical costs you have. The money is meant for his happiness and his happiness is deeply connected to your’s and will spare no expense to make sure you’re happy.

While your experiences are obviously very different, he can somewhat relate to the disconnect and pain you can feel sometimes. When he regresses or is having a really bad mental health stretch, he feels such a disconnect and discomfort with the person he sees in the mirror and his idea of himself. He wants you to be happy and when dysphoria hits hard he always tries to comfort you all the ways you do for him. He wishes you were comfortable and loved everything about yourself the way he does. But until you get there, he’s happy to keep you company during the bad days.

BOYS NIGHT! BOYS NIGHT! BOYS NIGHT! He didn’t have a lot of friends as a kid, and none who were boys. So when he regresses, while he’s still a polite indoor boy, he’s a little more prone to rough-housing and playing more active games he knew the other boys used to play when he was young. He’s far from a manly guy in the stereotypical sense but he likes having a guy his own age around who will have fun with him.