#the background is an album cover of Life As A Dog by K

[aviisick13]

New pfp @braindeadairhead for me main blog huhu

[xaracosmia]

ꕥ — WELCOME TO NEFE COSMIA, KJ SMITH. 🌓

ꕥ  — OOC INFORMATION;

name / alias: payton age: 23 pronouns: they/them ooc contact: bethjohanssen (tumblr) or cospayton (twitter) other characters in XC: Parker Davis, Jimmy Smith, Adder, Wolf

ꕥ  — IC INFORMATION;

name: KJ Smith age: 26 pronouns: she/he and sparingly they series: OC canon point: mid-first album tour app triggers: N/A

personality: KJ is brutally honest, steadfast, and stubborn, yet extremely charismatic all the same. Prone to putting emotions into action instead of words he’s easy to set off and quick to bite back or fight if necessary. Despite her hard exterior though, KJ has a dorky side. She’s a scholar, a music lover, and surprisingly clingy to those she loves.

something your muse struggles with: Being raised as the youngest of three, homeschooled, and then thrown into a lifestyle she never wanted has left KJ constantly seeking some sort of attention or validation. An adoring crowd is never enough, providing adrenaline but never that sense of “connection.”

KJ craves people to know her, deeply and truly know her, but she’s scared to show more than her harsh, hardass exterior. She doesn’t want to be anything like the KJ that the girl group management wanted her to be, nor does she want to be seen as weak in any form despite only being human. She’ll push anyone who gets too close away, blowing up and claiming it’s “for their own good."

your muse’s greatest strength: Loyalty. Despite seeming like the flighty type, if KJ grows an attachment to someone she’ll follow them around like their own personal scary guard dog.

history / background: Born the youngest into a sheltered Utah family of homeschooled kids all sharing “K” names, KJ always craved a certain degree of individuality. Come middle school they broke from the pack, starting to go by the name “KJ” and rebelling as much as they could under the watchful eye of concerned “stranger-danger” parents.

Sneaking out many nights under the cover of the shadows, KJ wouldn’t even go anywhere particularly exciting. 2 am bike runs to her local Walmart lead to some minor shoplifting, sure, but she never got caught and it’s not like a chain so rich would miss a single pair of headphones anyway.

At sixteen when one of those big fancy Hollywood singing competition shows came to their small town looking for fresh-faced musicians KJ figured “eh, fuck it,” and gave the process a shot. What he never expected was being flown out to LA and being put in, of all things, a bubblegum pop girl group named “KIWI.” The music and aesthetic were not KJ’s style, but with pressure from her family and hometown she stuck with it, signing a three-album contract and locking herself into a fast track to international stardom.

KIWI blew up bigger than any of the four of them or their management could have ever expected. They had mobs of adoring fans and more money than god, but what did that matter when the “K” of KIWI was utterly unhappy? Despite heavy media training, in the latter years of the band KJ would speak casually in interviews, often uncaring about how it would affect the other band members, their management, or their image. While it went off terribly behind the scenes, it grew him a devoted fanbase who loved KJ’s brash and brutally honest attitude. As KJ aged into adulthood, she realized she couldn’t do this anymore. He was miserable, utterly depressed, and desperate for a way out. As soon as the third album was released KJ announced her departure from the group, despite fan pleas and Twitter campaigns galore.

Finally free as the band continued making music, KJ took her time to go to school and live life as normally as possible for the first time in nearly four years. It was uneventful, but at 24 he graduated with a Bachelor’s degree, primed for the world of corporate office work if he so desired. Despite wanting a normal life, music was always his first calling and it was like breathing to jump back in. Working with new producers and friends in the industry KJ finally got to rediscover her love for music. Making his grand re-debut with a new aesthetic, new album, and new sound, everything was finally authentically “KJ.” 

And sure, she lost fans along the way who missed her PG girl group sound, but he was never truly that person they forced him to be. It had been a decade since the girl group debuted at this point. With success at her fingertips and her future bright, it seemed nothing could be holding KJ back… Yet in all the grunge and glamour KJ still had nobody truly “close” to her. He was lonely, achingly so, and denial only goes so far. Either way, KJ’ll be damned if she lets anyone see her struggling when she’s got sold out venues and a tour to finish.

powers / abilities: N/A

inherent abilities: N/A

items / weapons:

KIWI’s entire discography on CD

Includes such highlights as their debut album entitled “KIWI to my Heart”

Coffee shop napkin with a phone number on it

She got too busy and forgot to text the cute curly-haired barista back. Sad

Well-loved and slightly worn acoustic guitar

Hand-adorned with various collage elements and drawings on the body. 

Smaller than a guitar someone of KJ’s size should be using.

Framed family photo

Contains a child-aged KJ, her two older siblings, and both of their parents. They’re all dressed in coordinated outfits and the siblings especially look freakishly similar.

starting ability: N/A

starting item: N/A

would you like this character to be housed upon arrival?: yes, please!

extra:

She’s 6’3 and built like a brickhouse. this is important to my sapphic brain

If you think you know this OC of mine no you don't <3 (i reworked her to be more viable for XC and more distinctly KJ, yay!)

Don’t ask how many times I’ve drawn this guy, it’s at least 2x more than any other OC

discord id: patronsaintofdenial

[kpophours]

a very necessary guide to The Boyz

➥ basic information 

debuted on December 6, 2017 with Boy

currently consisting of 11 members (they used to be 12 members, but Hwall sadly departed from the group in October 2019 due to his ongoing ankle injury)

signed under Cre.ker Entertainment

their official fanclub name is “THEB” (aka deobi)

no official colors yet (we’re waiting, Cre.ker)

they have an official YouTube, Instagram, Twitter and vlive

they had their first win with Bloom Bloom in 2019

discography: four EPs (The First, The Start, The Only, Dreamlike), two Singles (The Sphere, Bloom Bloom), a special Single (White), one full album (Reveal), one Japanese release (Tattoo)

recently won mnet’s Road to Kingdom and should have participated in Kingdom this year, but sadly, the show has been postponed indefinitely

currently preparing for a comeback (September 2020)

... now onto the members!

➥ hyung line: Sangyeon, Jacob, Younghoon, Hyunjae 

▸ Lee Sangyeon - leader, main vocalist

born on November 4, 1996 (a Scorpio and the oldest member of tbz)

(not your typical) leader - he’s not really “the dad”, but truly more of an older brother to the others

often teases and pranks the other members and is one of the funniest members according to their “Who’s Who” video (see: video recs)

writes own songs - super talented and dedicated, a really hard worker

has a beautiful deep, soul filled voice (we’d LOVE to hear more of it @cre.ker) - check out his performance on King of Masked Singer

according to Eric, he’s the member with the best body - really likes to work out and is stacked™

he really, really loves mangos

says he’s not cute but is obviously very wrong about that

has a super cute smile and adorable laugh

looked too beautiful with pink hair (deobi will never recover)

super bad at literally any game - always, ALWAYS loses when it comes to rock-paper-scissors (would be hilarious if it weren’t so sad)

some fun facts: his mbti is ESFP-T (he doesn’t believe in those kind of tests though), he’s good at impersonating others (especially Eric), he has an older sister (who has two sons, Sangyeon is a super cute uncle to them which he recently showed in his BOYLOG - WARNING: extreme cuteness!)

▸ Jacob Bae - lead vocalist

born on May 30, 1997 (a Gemini, but he very rarely shows it)

his Korean name is Bae Joon Young

kinda the mom of the group, but his official title is the angel™ (he literally never gets angry, he doesn’t even curse! how does he do that even his older brother says they never fought while growing up)

is from Toronto and therefore ½ of Canadian and ⅓ of English line - so he’s obviously fluent in English!

really improved his dancing skills over the years and it shows (unofficial member of dance line, fight me cre.ker)

beautiful soft vocals, amazing high notes (see their Mirotic cover)

plays the guitar and composes/writes his own songs

an MC for Simply K-Pop together with Kevin

½ of the superior “MoonBae” ship (aka married to Kevin - they’re super cute together, truly just two halves of the same idiot)

used to play volleyball and basketball and is really good at both, has apparently been working out a lot recently (rip his stans)

some fun facts: his mbti is INFP-T, his family adopted a new dog and named him after him/gave him the nickname “Cobi” ("your family replaced you... with a canine” - Kevin Moon, 2020), has an older brother, is left-handed, used to be the biggest fan of cereal (literally stocked boxes of it inside his room)

▸ Kim Younghoon - vocalist, visual

born on August 8, 1997 (but the most untypical Leo ever - only shows he’s a Leo like, once a year)

tallest member and ⅓ of the so called “Bermuda line” (aka the visuals™)

an under appreciated vocalist - his performance on King of Masked Singer more than showed how amazing his voice actually is (LET HIM SING CRE.KER)

has a “cool/cold look” at first, but is actually the softest, shyest, most precious squish on this planet (and has super soft puppy eyes)

kinda bad at life - needs to be protected because he’s just so clumsy, pouts when he’s about to cry (me, immediately: *cries with him*)

sometimes just randomly zones out and dissociates for a bit

fell down the stairs and injured his collarbone (I TOLD YOU HE NEEDS TO BE PROTECTED) before their Europe Tour and the Reveal promotions and therefore didn’t participate in the choreography

loves loves loves LOVES dogs so much and (his family) has a poodle (we stan Bori in this household)

the softest™ when trying to speak English (I‘m not crying, I‘m just really allergic to his extreme cuteness)

was a model for the Seoul Fashion Week in 2017 (together with Juyeon)

some fun facts: his mbti is INFP-J (there are four (4) introverts in tbz and they all share the exact same mbti), has an older brother, appeared in I.O.I’s Whatta Man music video, was recently cast as the second lead for the drama Love Revolution (his first ever acting role! the world should look out for actor!Hoon), is a BTS fanboy (his bias is Taehyung/V)

▸ Lee Jaehyun (aka “Hyunjae”) - lead vocalist, lead dancer, visual

born on September 17, 1997 (a Virgo)

also one of the tall members and another third of the “Bermuda Line”

an amazing dancer and a great vocalist (had like, 98% of the lines in No Air, so he’s pretty much an undercover main vocal)

an allrounder

seems quiet and chill at first. DO NOT BE FOOLED!!!

he is: l o u d . a bit annoying but also very cute without trying (actually really dislikes doing aegyo). hear someone loud in the background (especially laughing)? yep. that’s him! you found him, congrats.

also very caring and soft, takes great care of the younger members (when he’s not behaving like one of the younger members himself, that is)

also nags them a lot though (at least according to Eric)

the biggest Iron Man fanboy (like, legit wrote a fan letter to Iron Man when he visited the Marvel studios in NYC he’s just so cute)

l o v e s, no, ADORES kids and dogs

also really loves fried chicken

the biggest IU fanboy! very recently covered her song When Love Passes By for their A to BOYZ cover series

MWOHASEYO (don’t ask, just watch)

some fun facts: his mbti is ENFJ-A, he has an older sister, he’s really close with Pentagon’s Kino (they had some very cute interactions during Road to Kingdom), he can spin literally any object (a very weird, random talent tbh), has very skinny legs (so... literally a skinny legend)

➥ middle aka ’98 line: Juyeon, Kevin, New, Q 

▸ Lee Juyeon - main dancer, vocalist

born on January 15, 1998 (a Capricorn)

the last third of the tall and “Bermuda line”

an amazing dancer - he trained very hard to be where he is now (went viral as “the bucket hat guy” from their Bad Guy dance practice with the 1MILLION dance studio)

has a very soft, beautiful voice needs more lines

has very sharp features and beautiful eyes - his personality is very different from his cold looks though, he’s actually very soft, caring and thoughtful

he’s very gullible and innocent (also needs to be protected), therefore often the victim of jokes - most people think he’s a bit dumb thanks to that, but he’s really not: he likes to read, watches a lot of documentaries, and is just more on the quiet side in general, he likes to think before he speaks (unlike Hyunjae for example, no shade)

also very clumsy (never leave him and Younghoon alone together, please)

booked and busy! had like, a trillion photo shoots just this year, and was also a model for the Seoul Fashion Week 2017 

very bad at taking selfies but he tries and we love him nevertheless

can speak Japanese and English, is also a really good cook

an MC for The Show (aka the “JuShow”)

some fun facts: his mbti is ENTP-T, is very flexible (especially for his height), he likes to work out, has a younger brother, was on the show Law of the Jungle (he really likes nature), biggest U-Know (TVXQ) fanboy (legit cried when he met him), likes to play basketball, has gigantic hands (20.5cm a bit excessive but okay)

▸ Kevin Moon - main vocalist

born on February 23, 1998 (a soft Pisces boy™)

his Korean name is Moon Hyung Seo

the other half of Canadian line aka MoonBae (therefore, married to Jacob)

is from Vancouver and fluent in English (⅓ of English line)

yes, he’s the living meme you probably know from all the “funny kpop videos” compilations, quotes vines on a daily basis

SO much more than just the meme-ber though, he’s extremely talented - BIG BRAIN ENERGY, his creativity legit knows NO LIMITS

has amazing drawing skills (that he often shares with deobi on Twitter) - actually designed the group’s logo tbz use for their official Twitter account

can play the piano and guitar (he’s truly just so talented and amazing - STAN KEVIN MOON Y’ALL)

HAS ONE OF THE BEST VOICES EVER AND WE’D ALL REALLY LOVE TO HEAR MORE OF IT ONE DAY, CRE.KER

can cook really well

also writes his own lyrics/songs 

an MC for Simply K-Pop together with Jacob

undercover visual (have you seen his cheekbones?! almost made me cry with his beauty when he had long wavy hair)

“I have no lips” - Kevin Moon, 2020

some fun facts: his mbti is INFP-T, has an older sister, his parents named him after watching “Home Alone” (iconic behavior right there), has a kinda embarrassing past (some of the pictures and videos… uh well, let’s just say he was born a meme legend), he participated in the show K-Pop Star before becoming a trainee 

▸ Choi Chanhee (aka “New”) - main vocalist

born on April 26, 1998 (a Taurus)

literally the prettiest human alive

legit looks like an angel (how is he not an official visual?!), but is a savage (and extremely funny, lowkey judges his members 24/7)

a bit of a drama queen but he’s so cute it’s okay

amazing vocal skills, does most of the ad-libs

looks too cute in a beret, that should be illegal

gets bullied by the other members, which is kinda fair but also a bit (too) much sometimes (#letChanheelive2020)

is a math genius, can calculate extremely big numbers inside his head and FASTER THAN AN ACTUAL CALCULATOR (this is SORCERY)

½ of the other iconic duo beside MoonBae aka “NyuKyu” (together with Changmin aka “Q”) - you heard of dumb and dumber, now get ready for New and Q!

takes the best selfies, holds the official title of Selfie King (according to the others, he takes the most selfies - according to himself, he doesn’t even take that many but just takes them in a very obvious way, so the others always notice him doing so) 

almost breaks his neck taking selfies

used to have a lot of half-time jobs before becoming a trainee

one of the members in charge of cooking (idk why, he managed to melt a spoon once)

doesn’t know how to swim (because - and I quote - ”he’s a CEO’s son”)

puts MILK FIRST, AND THEN CEREAL it’s over, he’s cancelled

some fun facts: his mbti is INFP-T, he really hates tomatoes, he has a tattoo (a cross on his left pinky), has an older brother, lowkey looks like a Volturi, dropped Younghoon’s new sunglasses TWICE which Hoon will never let him forget, he once accidentally ate a plastic fork (don’t ask)

▸ Ji Changmin (aka “Q”) - main dancer, vocalist

born on November 5, 1998 (yep, another Scorpio)

one of the best dancers in the industry (everyone can fight me on this) - went viral for his improvised dance to the Mario music

STAGE DEMON, has one of the best stage presences EVER, goes from 0 to 100 in literally no time

so cute it HURTS and takes the best boyfriend aesthetic pics (all moodboard makers thank him for this)

has dimples he likes to poke when saying “music cue (q)” (me: *cries*)

has a veeeeeeeeeeeeery long neck

can impersonate a giraffe and a pigeon

½ of NyuKyu aka dumb and dumber (WE LOVE BFFS) - they have some very iconic (cooking) vlives together

he’s very - and I say this with all my love - weird 

or, to say it more diplomatically, “unusual”: LOVES horror movies and has had Annabelle as his iPad background for the longest time now (according to himself, they apparently recently broke up though rip our favorite otp), says his favorite beverage at Starbucks are the napkins (???????), literally BEGGED Kevin to let him buy a stuffed pigeon plushie when they visited New York, says the creepy nun from The Conjuring is cute (again: ?????? *whispers* is he okay)

dolphin screams™ (you’ve been warned, turn down your volume)

got lost in New York City together with Kevin (never let them take the metro ever again, at least not... unsupervised)

has a poodle named Ghana and adores him (see this BOYLOG where he just hangs with his puppy, 10/10 recommend watching that)

some fun facts: his mbti is ESFP-T (same as Sangyeon, doesn’t believe in those kind of tests either), has two older sisters, is ambidextrous (but mostly uses his left hand), is really good at playing the piano (won a price in elementary school), his English name is James aka the most generic English name ever (no shade, no hate)

➥ maknae line: Haknyeon, Sunwoo, Eric 

▸ Ju Haknyeon - lead dancer, vocalist, rapper

born on March 12, 1999 (another Pisces!)

he is half Chinese, half Korean and lived in Hong Kong for a while

speaks some Mandarin, a bit of Cantonese and also some English

also one of the allrounders of the group (I SAID WHAT I SAID)

an AMAZING dancer! is really good at freestyling

taught himself how to b-boy

such a rich, amazing, stable voice (*bass boosted* more lines for Hak)

one of the funniest and most random members

very loud, randomly bursts into songs all the time even sings when sneezing

just generally really, really sweet and nice

before debut, he participated in the second season of mnet’s Produce 101 (was eliminated in Ep. 11 and ranked #19) - The Boyz were actually often referred to as “Juhaknyeon’s group” before/shortly after their debut

he’s a very good eater and eats A LOT (FINALLY A RELATABLE IDOL)

his family lives on Jeju Island and owns a pig farm - because of that (and because he eats a lot), one of his nicknames is “pig/piggie”

has a blindingly bright smile and is such an underrated visual

yes, you can probably drown in his beautiful, deep chocolate eyes

he and Hwall accidentally became thieves in NYC (they forgot to pay for their food, but went back later to do so so no jail time!)

some fun facts: his mbti is ENTJ-T, he’s really close with Seventeen’s Seungkwan, he has two sisters (one younger, one older), NOT a morning person AT all (relatable), really good at organizing stuff (as seen during the Battle Trip to Jakarta episodes with Hyunjae), really good and fast at peeling tangerines

▸ Kim Sunwoo - main rapper, vocalist

born on April 12, 2000 (an Aries and his fire sign nature shows)

a flawless rapper, just... truly superb. also an amazing dancer !

actually auditioned to be a vocalist (so he has amazing vocals, too), but became a rapper instead

tbz’ unofficial stuntman (as seen during Road to Kingdom), even though he’s actually really scared of heights

can play the guitar

on the other end of the “lip spectrum” - because unlike Kevin, Sunwoo has a lot of them (lemme just *smooch*)

literally one of the wittiest, most savage people on this planet (GOOGLE SEARCH: HOW TO BE SO FUNNY)

used to drink a lot of juice to keep himself healthy

is really good at soccer and used to play when he was younger

beautiful deep brown eyes that hold every star and galaxy in them 

Mr. Coconut Hair™ (really makes it work though - still, every deobi screams when we get to see his forehead (which is like, once a year if we’re lucky))

a real stage demon but in reality an actual baby™ + scaredy cat needs to be protected at all costs

had a mental breakdown when he had to eat a bug after losing rock-paper-scissors 

always yells “GO AWAY ANNA” whenever someone knocks on his door (especially if it’s New)

some fun facts: his mbti is ENTP-A, has a younger sister (who’s taller than him, he’s really salty about that), he’s really close to some of the other ‘00 liners in the industry, he understands English quite well but doesn’t really speak it, also contributes to a lot of tbz’ songs

▸ Eric Son - maknae, lead dancer, lead rapper, vocalist

born on December 22, 2000 (another Capricorn)

his Korean name is Son Young Jae 

he was born in South Korea, but grew up in Los Angeles and is therefore fluent in English (⅓ of English line)

a great dancer (knows soooo many choreographies, it’s insane)

an amazing rapper (deserves more lines!)

hyper 24/7 watching him makes me tired, where does he get all that energy from

talks fast and a lot. never shuts up. you can’t make him. he tries to tell you one (1) story, but ends up telling 10 different ones along the way.

really good a baseball and loves to watch games

super close to Juyeon and used to go to Ju’s place during holidays as his own family lives in the US (my JuRic heart)

really neat and tidy, loves to clean maybe almost a bit neurotic about it

just generally really, really cute ???

a huge GOT7 fanboy (RELATABLE)

a thot on stage, should not be left unsupervised

close friends with Stray Kids’ Felix (his best idol friend according to himself)

also close to GOT7’s Mark (they’re also really cute together)

performed CPR on a watermelon once (it sadly still died, Eric gets an A for effort though)

some fun facts: his mbti is ENFJ-A, he has an older sister (who lives in New York), does NOT look like the maknae which often confuses people, really good and fast at solving Rubix cubes

➥ former member: Hwall 

Heo Hyunjoon (aka “Hwall”) - lead dancer, lead rapper, vocalist

born March 9, 2000 (yet another Pisces!)

from Busan

such a good dancer, truly incredible

very soft rap tone 

looks a bit like a cat

is very acrobatic

has a “cool” persona, but is actually just a certified babie boy™

used to live in the Philippines for four years and can speak English

the official fashionista of tbz, some of his outfits are truly just iconic

his signature aegyo is to shoot an arrow at deobis’ hearts (Hwall actually means “bow” in Korean)

can get very clingy with some members

had to sit out during D.D.D promotions and decided to leave The Boyz in 2019 (he’s still in the music video though!)

in August 2020, it was announced that he left Cre.ker Entertainment and established his own label called Dia Note

the same month, he debuted as Hyunjun Hur with the song Baragi 

you can follow his official Instagram and YouTube

some fun facts: his mbti is ENFP, he’s still in contact with the other members (said he especially misses Juyeon and Hyunjae *sobs*), his role model is BTS’ Jimin and he actually went to the same dance academy (also knows pretty much all their choreographies/songs by heart)

➥ some videos to watch 

all their music videos of course

all their live stages/performances too

BuzzFeed’s Who’s Who

Metro UK’s Quick Questions

their Billboard interview

their Weekly Idol episode

their Idol Room episode

their Road to Kingdom performances: Sword of Victory, Danger, Reveal, Heroine, Quasi una Fantasia, Checkmate 

their dance covers: Girls Generation’s The Boys + GOT7′s Hard Carry’, TVXQ’s Mirotic, TWICE’s What is Love, EXO’s Love me Right, EXO’s Call me Baby, Super Junior’s Sorry Sorry

Q, Haknyeon and Jacob for the Idol dance cover challenge 

their Billie Eilish Bad Guy stage for KCON 2019 + the dance practice

their dance cover medley

drop the dance at KCON 2019

their performance on Immortal Songs

Q’s Mario dance

their Halloween dance practice for Bloom Bloom

their “Identity Film: Generation Z” videos which show a very different side of each member

my personal emotional support kpop video

The Boyz - The Play “Mafia game” (aka a mess™)

their A to BOYZ cover series (five members have been released so far): Jacob, Hyunjae, Sunwoo, Juyeon, Q

and if you have the time: their whole The Castle concert 

➥ their shows 

The Boyz - Summer Vacation

The Boyz in New York City

Come On! The Boyz

Come On! The Boyz School

The Boyz - Flower Snack (pre-debut)

The Boyz - The 100 (shortly after debut)

The Boyz - Otoseyo (Japanese show)

The Boyz  - The Mission

The Boyz - The Play

there are literally endless videos on YouTube - especially “The Boyz memes” / “funny The Boyz compilations” and so on, but I won’t include those here as you can easily find them on your own !

... and that’s it (for now), if you have any questions, don’t hesitate to send an ask - and please give their new comeback lots of love, they are so talented, funny, dedicated and hardworking, and truly just deserve the whole world 💞

[masterlist] | [requests] 

[jmeelee]

The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Stiles and Derek’s Cat

Sterek Week 2019 • Mystery

Rating: T (for swearing and lite innuendo)

Word Count: 2.1 K

***********

Derek flips on his blinker, and the taxi driver riding his ass swerves around the Camaro, rolling down a window and shouting something indecipherable while Derek pulls into the fire lane in front of the airport. His sister walks through the automatic doors as he climbs out and pops the trunk, a parting blast of air conditioning blowing her dark shoulder-length hair around her head like a demonic halo. She’s dressed in an old band t-shirt with a black blazer layered over top, and ripped skinny jeans, one hand gripping the handle of her rolling luggage, the other pressing a ratty book to her chest.

“It seems stupid for a werewolf to be superstitious,” Cora greets, handing Derek the leather-bound album, “but I didn’t want to take the chance of it getting lost in the mail.”

He pulls her close in a one-armed hug; Cora was never the overly affectionate type, but distance and pseudo-death make the heart grow fonder. “I appreciate you lugging it all this way. Stiles has been asking me a lot of family questions since he started emissary training, and I wanted to put some faces to the names he’s been hearing.” Pictures that aren't attached to obituaries, he silently adds.

She tosses her suitcase into the trunk, dusty wheels leaving a streak of dirt across the upholstery, and slams it closed, climbing in through the passenger door Derek holds open. “Alpha Varela had a decent amount, and Alpha Ogden gave me a half-dozen,” she supplies as he slides behind the wheel and pulls out into traffic, “but they only fill up a quarter of the pages. It’s pretty pathetic.”

She reaches out a hand, lovingly runs fingers over the brown cover embossed with a triskelion.

“It is,” Derek concedes, “but it’s better than nothing.” His fingers itch to flip through the meager pages immediately, pour over the pictures like Cora’s been able to do, and bring his long-dead family back to life, but it will have to wait through rush hour traffic and a trip to the pet store. They’re out of cat food, and Agnes Nutter—the stray orange tabby Stiles fell in love with when he started spending so much time with Deaton at the vet clinic, and proceeded to drag home—has been known to take claws to the curtains, leather couches and freshly painted walls when dinner isn’t served on time.

“We’re back!” Derek calls through the front door an hour later, pulling his key out of the lock.

Cora drops two five-pound bags of dry food to the entry-way floor. “How much does this damn cat eat?” She laughs. Derek shrugs, wet food cans clanking in the bags hanging from his hands. The album is tucked securely under his armpit.

“I’m in the family room!” Comes Stiles’ disembodied voice. Derek detours to the kitchen to stock the cat food in the walk-in pantry and Cora heads to the back of the house to greet her brother-in-law. He’s only moments behind her, but when he finally rounds the corner into the family room, his little sister’s face is shifted, snarls twisting out of her throat through elongated teeth, and Stiles is sitting on the couch, eyes wide, laptop in one hand and the other raised, palm out, sparks sizzling along his fingertips. Acrid ozone spikes the air.

“What. The. Hell.”

“I don’t know, dude!” Stiles’ voice trills and Derek doesn’t have the time to admonish his husband for calling him dude. “She rolled in here and didn’t even say hello! Just went all grrrr-” his nose does the scrunchy little thing Derek secretly loves, top teeth bared like an adorably angry hamster- “and scared the shit out of me.”

“It’s that...thing,” Cora rasps, pointing a claw-tipped finger at Agnes Nutter, calmly lording over the room from Stiles’ blanketed lap, like a ginger queen on a throne.

Stiles drops his laptop to the couch cushion, wrapping his now free arm around Agnes, who’s yellow eyes squint in annoyance at the vigorous display of affectionate protection. “What’s your problem with my cat? Does the lupine-feline rivalry actually run that deep?”

“Really, Stiles? Dog jokes? Now?” Derek rubs at a tension headache brewing over his left eyebrow.

“Stiles,” Cora commands through sharp white teeth, “get away from it. It’s a demon.”

Agnes answers the accusation with a charming little “meow,” and rubs a paw over her docked left ear.

“Put your teeth away. She’s my pet!” Stiles shrieks.

“Derek. Get the photo album,” Cora orders.

Derek glances back toward the kitchen. He can see the book sitting on the granite countertop, but is loathe to leave the room. “Is this really the best time for a Hale family history lesson?”

“You bet your hairy ass it is. Go get those pictures. Now.”

Derek’s never been more grateful for supernatural speed. “Here.” He hands the album to his sister, who flips open to the second page, turns the book around and hands it back to him.

At first, Derek’s baffled. What do his unearthed family photos have to do with a c—

An orange and white striped cat that’s sitting on his grandmother’s lap, when she was roughly thirty years old. A cat that twists around his mother’s ankles as she stands on tip-toe to kiss his father on the cheek, while toddler Laura plays in the background. A cat that lingers behind his great-grandfather as he cuts the ribbon at the dedication ceremony for the Beacon Hills preserve. The last photo is in black and white, but this cat, like the others, has a docked left ear.

“Stiles…” Derek looks up at his husband. Agnes stares at him with slanted eyes. He does the math in his head. At least fifty years…

Stiles groans, head lolling on the back of the couch. “Don’t tell me she’s a Flerkin. I knew I should have named her Goose.”

“Not a Flerkin,” Cora says. “But definitely something.”

Agnes jumps off Stiles’ lap and calmly pads over to her empty food dish, flops down next to it, and lets out a loud, piercing howl.

“Get the cat carrier,” Derek says. “We’re going to Deaton’s.”

———-

“Why did you let me adopt a time-traveling cat?!”

Deaton, as usual, says nothing in face of Stiles’ hysterics. Agnes dangles from Stiles’ outstretched arms, held at a forty-five-degree angle like a domesticated lion king. She blinks, whiskers twitching. Derek feels her pain; the overlapping scents of animal, iodine and industrial-grade disinfectant makes him want to hurl.

“I was surprised you even got a cat,” Scott chimes in from the waiting room chair. Having a pet who turns out to be old enough to collect social security merits calling your alpha right away. “I didn’t think you liked them. Remember my old Maine Coon, Louis? You used to pelt him in the ass with spitballs.”

Everyone’s mouths drop collectively, and Stiles reels Agnes back to his chest, hiding part of his blushing cheek in her soft orange fur. “I was seven, Scott! And in my defense, Louis used to bite my toes through my sleeping bag.”

“Well, thank goodness it was in retaliation,” Derek deadpans. “I wouldn’t want to be married to an animal abuser.”

A war plays out on Stiles’ flushed face; narrowed eyes shooting daggers at Derek, while the corner of his generous mouth cocks up. “I didn’t hear any complaints from you the other night.”

“Gross,” Cora bemoans. “Get a room.”

“Already did.” Tucking Agnes under his arm like a football, Stiles holds up his free hand and wiggles his fingers, white-gold wedding band flashing under the fluorescent lights. “Made it legal and everything.”

“Did you bring the photos?” Deaton inquires, enigmatic face as placid as the surface of the little pond in the preserve. Cora hands them over, and everyone watches Deaton slowly flip through the pages, eyes skimming over each picture. “Hum,” he says, laying the album on top of the reception desk, open to the picture of Derek’s parents with Agnes at their feet.

“Hum? That’s all you have to say?” Stiles scoffs.

“I’m surprised at you, Stiles,” Deaton says softly, crossing arms over his lab coat. “I thought you knew what Agnes was when you took her home.”

“Obviously not,” Stiles grumbles. “I’m supposed to be learning from you, aren’t I? One would assume the teacher would tell the student if the class pet was an immortal demon waiting to eat their face off when they fell asleep.”

Derek feels a hysterical giggle crawl up his throat and clamps his lips closed.

Deaton spins the album around to face the waiting room, and Scott extricates his butt from the chair to creep closer. Deaton taps the top right corner of the Hale’s photograph. “I took this picture in nineteen-eighty-eight. Derek,” he says, glancing up into his face, “your parents had just gotten the news they were pregnant with you.”

The giggle threatens to turn into a sob.

“Talia and Sebation celebrated their good fortune with a pack dinner. As you well know-” Deaton turns toward Scott- “emissaries are invited to important pack events.” He turns back to the room at large. “I came that evening, and Agnes, as you are fond of calling her, came with me.” He flips to the picture of Derek’s great-grandfather. “Emissaries protect their alpha’s, so I assume the former Hale pack emissary was somewhere in the crowd during this ceremony.” Deaton blinks, letting the pregnant pause come to full gestation. “Familiars tend to follow witches wherever they go.”

“So…” Cora trails off, tilting her head to the side and pursing her lips while she studies Agnes. “She’s a familiar? Familiars are demons, right?”

“Fantastic,” Stiles sighs, shoulders slumping. “We all know my track record with demons.” His face is carefully blank, except for the bottom lip caught between his teeth.

“No concrete evidence exists to say familiars are demons,” Deaton lectures. “In fact, that tends to be an antiquated belief held over from the witch trials. Some believe they are fae, or goblins, sent to assist fledgling witches in the practice of magic. Others believe they’re guardian angels.”

“Ha!” Stiles crows, sticking his tongue out at Cora. “She’s not a demon after all. She’s an angel. Take that!”

“Hey!” Scott helpfully adds. “You could change her name to Aziraphale!” Stiles looks like he’s considering it.

“I’m not trying to rain on the parade,” Derek cuts in, ignoring Stiles’ mumbled Sourwolf, “but you’re saying Agnes is here to help Stiles? She mostly just eats, craps, coughs up hairballs in my shoes and knocks shit off the counters. Like that time she broke the vial of ground-up Mucuna pruriens, and we all broke out in that horrible rash.” Derek’s butt itches just thinking about it.

Scott snaps his fingers, goofy smile stretching across his face. “Yeah! And then Stiles used it to make those smoke bombs we attacked the hunter’s compound with the following month. It’s like she knew exactly what he needed to use.”

Everyone stares at Agnes, baffled and impressed.

“Legends say familiars most often take small animal forms,” Deaton continues, “but some are human-like, or can shape-shift. One was a horse.”

“No,” Derek says to both his husband and Agnes, on the off chance any ideas are forming in their heads. “No horses in the house. We don’t have the room.”

“So, you’ve told us what legends say, and what other people think about familiars.” Stiles bounces on his toes, jostling Agnes. She yowls, and he plops her onto the reception desk next to her portraits. “You’ve been an emissary for years. What do you believe?”

Deaton inhales deeply through his nose, exhales through his mouth. “I believe they’re an extension of our souls.”

Stiles smiles, scritching Agnes behind her mangled ear. “You’re the Pantalaimon to my Lyra. The Salem to my Sabrina. The—” Agnes hoists one leg straight into the air and starts licking her butt.

“Yup.” Cora smirks. “That makes total sense.”

“In conclusion, Stiles, your pet is not a demon who’s waiting to eat your face off. Now, can I please go home for the evening?”

It takes half a bag of treats to coax Agnes back into the cat carrier, and Deaton locks the doors to the clinic on their way out.

“I thought she was a stray,” Stiles says as they all head out into the moonlit night, voice a little wobbly. “I didn’t realize she was... Do you want her back?”

Deaton’s smile is as mystifying as ever. “She’s yours now, Stiles.”

Derek notes that, unsurprisingly, Deaton didn’t actually answer the question.

“One more thing,” Derek says, loading Agnes into the backseat of the Camaro. He’s strangely curious, even though he’s heard what curiosity did to the proverbial cat. “If she was yours for years, you must have given her a name. What was it?” Even arcane Dr. Deaton must be human enough to name his cat. Right?

“Some things,” Deaton answers before he slams his car door, “will have to remain a mystery.”

[tcrumb]

Melanie Martinez Should Never Change Her Brand

So if you don’t know Melanie Martinez, she’s a singer/song writer who really launch into the mainstream after her 2012 appearance on The Voice. She didn’t win, the good ones never do, but she did catch many people’s attention with her interesting look. Her hair is split right down the middle with one half bleached and one half black, she wore very preppy clothes, and topped the look off with a giant bow. 

Fast forward 7 years later and she has solidified her brand. She’s Cry Baby, a kid at heart with morbid ways of expressing herself. She traded in her preppy attire for what I would describe as puffy, frilly, and pink. Majority of her songs focus on some element of childhood, and she uses this as a lens to express her feelings in her adult life. Nothing better represents Martinez’s brand than her most recent album, K-12.

So the premise of K-12 is Martinez going through each grade level of school starting with kindergarten all the way to senior year of high school. Each song focuses on some element of school life starting with the first song titled Wheels on The Bus. I can only give my personal interpretation for all of these songs, but I'm sure it won’t be too far off from the general consensus. This song is a play on the classic nursery rhyme of the same name and it’s about children being left up to their own devices when the adults aren’t paying attention. This song is very upbeat and lighthearted vocally and instrumentally, but lyrically it’s a bit more mischievous (couldn’t think of the right word so that will have to do). With lyrics like “Now, I'ma light it up and pass it Puff‚ puff and pass it Don't be a dick and babysit, c'mon, just pass it over here” it reminds me of the side of growing up that the parents like to imagine doesn’t happen. The part where you get high with your friends in the school bathroom, or hookup with the kid who sits next to you just because he’s kinda cute. It happens all the time, but parents like to pretend their child is the exception. They are not. 7.8 out of 10.

Class Fight is up next. The song is about two girls fighting over the affections of some boy. There is a common theme that pops up in some of Melanie’s songs, and that is that her parents are awful. This song is no different. During this fight her dad is encouraging a hesitant Martinez to “go for the throat”. I can’t relate to this song in particular but I’m sure someone somewhere can. It’s less than three minutes long but it’s way too repetitive for me, in fact I just looked it up and the phrase “for the throat” came up 38 times. This song is usually one I skip. 6.5 out of 10.

Her next song is titled The Principal and its about a power hungry man who does not care about those he was suppose to protect. In the song she talks a bit about the state of the US with the opioid epidemic and the constant school shootings in the line “Killing kids all day and night, prescription pills and online fights”. In hindsight I should have already known this, but the song is about our president Donald Middle Name That I’m Forgetting Trump. This song was in my top 3 on the album before I even knew it was about Trump, and now I hear it from a different perspective. She’s frustrated and truly angry with this man, and she feels left behind. The post-chorus is just Martinez calling out asking where’s the principal. I never got that part before but now I have a whole new appreciation for this song. 8.2 out of 10.

Show and Tell is the next song and it has the interesting beat. It feels like a slow grandfather clock ticking. While I'm at it I might as well mention that I love the little effects she adds in backgrounds of her songs, like dogs growling, or kids cheering, it’s a nice touch. Okay back to Show and Tell. This song focuses on Martinez struggle with the constant spotlight that is on her, and how the paparazzi can make her feel like an object that is meant to be observed and toyed with. I love the beat on this song, it makes me feel like something is creeping up on me, I always expect some kind of beat drop but it never really comes. 7.9 out of 10.

Nurse’s Office  is the one song off the album that perfectly describes what my middle school experience was like. In the song Martinez wants to avoid the hell that is school by faking an illness and getting sent to the nurse’s office. It reminds me of all those uncomfortable years we all went through growing up. I remember faking a stomachache and going to the nurse’s office during gym class just to sit alone on a mat for 40 minutes and scroll through my phone. The feeling is real and this song captures it. This song sounds the way Alice and Wonderland looks and feels, there is no better way to describe it than that but hopefully when you listen to it you’ll know what I mean. 8.8 out of 10.

Do you remember all the bullshit you had to pretend to care about in middle school? Like when Stacy told Erica that Bethany wasn’t her friend anymore and omg how dare she do that? Or when someone makes fun of your socks for being too colorful, or calls you an attention whore for dying your hair red?  That’s what Drama Club is about, it’s about how words get misconstrued, things get blown up out of proportion, and if you don’t follow the script of life perfectly you asking for drama. Drama in middle school felt like the end of the world especially because half the time you couldn’t tell what even started it. It was tiring, it was senseless, it was frustrating, and I hate to admit but it was painful, and all on that comes through in the vocals. Thank fucking god  we outgrow that all that stuff. 8 out of 10.

Strawberry Shortcake talks about the pressure many girls feel when they are growing into their bodies. People stare, comment, compare, judge, grab, and hurt young girls all the time and blame them for being too tempting. I heard it from my own mother all the time growing up, she told me going out in cutoff shorts is why men will take advantage of me. In the lines “It's my fault, it's my fault 'cause I put icing on top Now, the boys want a taste of the strawberry shortcake That's my bad, that's my bad, no one told them not to grab” Melanie takes on an apologetic tone when talking about her own body. It is only towards the end of the song when she takes on a more confident tone and claims her body for her self. 8.1 out of 10.

The 8th song on the album is a short little song titled Lunchbox Friends. The song’s about fake/temporary friends that only want you around when it’s convenient. I love the chorus in this one because her voice was altered to be a lower and slightly distorted pitch. There’s not much to say about this song but it is remarkable high on my ranking for this album, 8.6 out of 10.

Orange Juice covers the very serious topic of eating disorders and uses orange juice as a metaphor for bulimia. The vocals are very soothing and the instrumentals relaxing. The song is gentle, and the lyrics are of Martinez trying to comfort a friend that is currently suffering from an eating disorder. It’s a powerful song without needing all the force or heavy beats from a traditional empowerment song. 8.5 out of 10. 

Detention is the one song off the album I always skip. The beat is almost tropical and the lyrics don’t have as focused of a message as the rest of the songs. It’s similar to Show and Tell in messaging,  it’s about dealing with fame and having to be on your best behavior to satisfy other people. But it’s always been the song I could do without. 5 out of 10.

Teacher’s Pet on the other hand is a song I have never skipped when it came up on shuffle. The song’s about a student-teacher affair, and how the student has to grapple with the fact that the relationship is wrong on paper but hiding the relationship makes her feel like a dirty secret. Melanie’s voice is sultry and the beat lurking and intimidating. This song doesn’t hit close to home for a lot of people but it does a great job placing you in the students shoes. 9 out of 10

High School Sweethearts is not only my absolute favorite song off the album but it’s one of my favorite songs ever. The beat and vocals starts very slow and romantic until they pick up pace as the song goes on and it becomes more more bouncy. Melanie is asking her sweetheart to treat her right in her own special and dark way. One line that sums this up best is “Step six If you can't put in work, I don't know what you think this fucking is Step seven, this one goes to eleven If you cheat, you will die, die”. It’s a fun song, it’s a sweet song (kinda), and I’m obsessed with it. 9.99 out of 10. 

We made it. The final song is call Recess. The song reminds me of what would play at end of a movie after the happy ending and when the credits are rolling. The song is about prioritizing yourself and your happiness and not letting others take advantage of you. It’s the perfect ending to the album and it’s a neat little song. 8 out of 10.

Final Ranking

13. Detention

12. Class Fight

11. Wheels On the Bus

10. Show and Tell

9./8. Drama Club/Recess

7. Strawberry Shortcake

6. The Principal

5. Orange Juice

4. Lunchbox Friends

3. Nurse’s Office 

2. Teacher’s Pet

1. High School Sweetheart

[mydarlingvioletine]

Just a Puppy Crush - Chapter 2

Ship(s): Violet/Clementine, some background Ruby/Aasim

Media: The Walking Dead Game (Season 4)

 The rest of her classes had gone by relatively quick. It was Friday, after all. Nobody was all that interested in doing their work.

Violet's lunch period was the only one where time went slow, as she took her tray out to the courtyard and sat down between Aasim and Louis.

        “Where’s Clem?” Louis asked, mouth grossly full. He looked towards Violet, who shrugged, and looked across him to see a disgusted Ruby.

“You can’t even close your mouth long enough to eat, huh?” Ruby chided, jabbing her chopsticks towards Louis for emphasis, before shoving a bunch of noodles into her mouth. Louis rolled his eyes, then started chewing as loudly as he could.

     Ruby huffed and crossed her arms before turning her attention towards Violet. "Welp, I'm just gonna have to cross my fingers that he's got his manners with him at Clem's little hootenanny."

Violet looked up from the soupy school mashed potatoes she had been poking with her fork. "You're not going?"

       Ruby shook her head, cheeks full of noodles. She lightly kicked Aasim's leg under the table, and he jerked his head up from his book, angry until he saw it was Ruby. She gestured towards the food in her mouth and pulled the invitation out of her pocket.

"Ohhh, Rube has a mandatory shift at the hospital she's volunteering at," Aasim droned, his eyes immediately darting back to the book he was into. "I'm pretty sure Brody's going, though."

     "That makes four." Violet noted, taking a bite of her sandwich. "It'll be nice to 3v1 your asses at Smash." She said, with a smug tone, watching Louis gasp out of the corner of her eye.

"Some harsh words from a King K. Rool main," Louis muttered under his breath, loud enough for her to hear. Violet angrily chewed, keeping eye contact with Louis before swallowing and raising her middle finger.

      "I bet you're wondering why I'm not going," Marlon spoke up from the end of the table, causing Violet to roll her eyes instinctively. "Well, I was invited, but I'm not gonna be there because of her little terror of a brother."

"Are you openly admitting to being afraid of a tot?" Louis chuckled, putting down his tray to cradle his chin and look at Marlon try to defend himself.

        "That kid's a fucking demon, man." Marlon's voice rose, crossing his arms and narrowing his eyes in recollection. “We ump their game for free, and he was killing it so I went up to tell him how good he was doing and kid fucking elbows me in the nuts.” 

The lunch table erupted into laughter as Marlon pouted and sulked. “Wasn’t funny. Kid didn’t even apologize, just ran off.”

     “I like this kid already.” Violet mused, before dumping her tray into the garbage and throwing her backpack over the shoulder. Louis was trying his best not to laugh, and was failing miserably, doubled over and wheezing. “Gotta motor. See you guys later.”

Violet lazily threw her backpack down as soon as she slammed the front door to her trailer behind her. With a groan, she flopped down onto her mattress and covered her face with her hands. 

     After a couple minutes of quietly sulking, she flipped onto her side, eyes landing on her worn, raggedy old bunny plush. She swiftly reached out and grabbed it, holding it to her chest while she mulled over her thoughts.

         Why did I say I'd go? What was I thinking?

Clementine's eyes, crinkled upwards at the ends while she was smiling at her, filled her mind. How soft and low her voice had gotten when Violet showed hesitation about going. The feeling of her hand tight around hers, with pleading puppy-dog eyes that almost rivaled Louis' when he needed to copy notes.

        Violet sighed, before setting the plush back down on it's established spot on her pillow.

"Thumper, I think I'm fucked." Violet whispered to herself, tracing her fingers across the rugged toy she held so close to her heart.

       It was a gift from her grandmother. Her first stuffed animal, a comfort object that brought her warmth and comfort while her mother was absent. In some old photo album, there was a picture of her cradling it as a baby, even bigger than her at the time.

It was the only constant in her life. The only thing that stayed. She couldn’t imagine sleeping without it in her arms.

    Her reminiscing was cut off by her phone vibrating noisily on the floor. Irritated, she looked down at it and scooped it up in her hands.

            Incoming FaceTime from Pain in My Ass.

Violet rolled her eyes before picking up the call, immediately getting a look at Louis with a bright green, chunky face mask on.

      “Holy shit, Shrek?” Violet snorted, earning a glare and a middle finger from Louis. “Whats up?”

Louis rolled his eyes before pulling his hair back into a bulky ponytail. “You never did let me copy your English work. There’s an extension though, so gimme.”

     Violet huffed before pulling her backpack onto her mattress, and dug through her belongings. She hauled her English binder out and started rummaging through it. “Found it.”

She tried her best to focus the camera on the sheet, failing miserably as her hands couldn’t stop shaking. “Shit, I’ll just text it to you.”

      “Nah, don’t worry about it. I’m on my way over.” Before Violet could process anything, the call cut off and she just now noticed the mess all around her.

She’d been trying to find any socially acceptable pair of pajamas for the party, but her wardrobe mostly consisted of torn old tee shirts that were too stain-ridden to incorporate into her actual clothes.

      Violet quickly made up her mattress as well as she could, hiding Thumper under her pillow. She tried her best to throw out all the empty beer bottles that were scattered across the floor, and was almost done when there was an impatient, loud knock on her front door.

She froze, the bottle falling out of her hands and onto the rug. She took a sigh of relief at the fact that it didn’t break, and kicked it under the couch. “Hold on!”

     “Guess the song.” Louis cheerfully sang out from the other side of the door, before knocking in a noisily and unrecognizable manner.

“Uhh.. Jingle Bells?” Violet guessed, before turning and opening the door to a very jubilant Louis.

“What? No. It’s Bohemian Rhapsody,” Louis snorted, before throwing himself down on the couch. Violet winced as the bottle rolled out from under it and quickly reached down to grab it. Louis pretended not to notice, digging through his backpack. “You always say that.”

       Violet shrugged before heading over to her section, and picking up her backpack. “Someday, I’ll be right.” She called over her shoulder. Louis suddenly appeared behind her, more interested in the huge pile of clothes that was thrown around all over Violet’s room.

“Uhh, what happened here?” Louis gestured towards her room as a whole, to which Violet shyly crossed her arms, letting her shaggy hair fall in front of her face. 

     “Couldn’t find a good set of PJs for the party.” Violet sighed, letting herself flop down next to the mountain of old tee shirts. Louis leaned against the doorway, observing the mess from a distance.

“Hey, where’s that onesie I gave you? I’m bringing mine.” Louis knelt down and started digging through drawers, giving an “aha!” when he grabbed onto the purple fabric, pulling it out of the drawer. “C’mon, let’s match.”

      Violet’s expression turned sour as Louis held up the purple footie pajamas with a bunny hoodie, eagerly nodding and shoving it towards her. 

“Oh, absolutely not.” Violet feigned disgust and backed away from him. “Oh, my god. I never noticed it had a tail.”

       Louis shoved the pajamas back towards her, cocking an eyebrow as she continued to refuse. “Ohhh, I get it. You prioritize looking cool and suave in front of Clem over our seven-year long friendship.” Louis mock gasped, quivering his bottom lip dramatically while holding the onesie in his hands.

“You’re such a dummy,” Violet snorted, grabbing the onesie from Louis’ grasp and holding it out in front of her. “I’ll wear it as long as you come through, too.”

   Louis happily squealed as Violet passed him her English forward and started putting away her clothes. She kept seeing Louis glance up at her from the corner of her eye, and rolled her eyes. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You didn’t protest,” Violet turned her head to meet Louis’ eyes, cautiousness and amusement in his smile, like he just went through a huge revelation. “You usually get mad when I talk about you and Clem. You didn’t this time.”

      Violet thoughtfully cradled the side of her face, bottom lip forming into a pout. “I’m kinda nervous, Lou.”

She expected some snarky remark or dig at her but instead, she got Louis lowering himself beside her, hesitating before gently putting his arm around her.

       “It’ll be okay, Vi. I promise. It’s just one night. I’ll be there, and so will Brody and Clem.” Louis tried his best to comfort her, and she let herself relax and melt into Louis’ embrace. “The only thing you have to worry about is how you’re gonna defend yourself in front of Clem when I absolutely destroy you at Smash.”

Violet giggled, playfully shoving him aside and rubbing her eyes. With a happy sigh, she tugged on his arm, standing up. “Thanks, Lou. C’mon, I gotta show you this weird ass record I found when I was digging through all my stuff. I think it’s right up your alley.”

[simplyolivers]

( ooc: so i literally put the every single one of the lyrics under the cut so if you’re trying to read this i’m so sorry also i’m too lazy to make a cover soooooo p.s. greg is what neptune call his fans k bye ) today neptune bentley, known as his youtube rap alias of ‘young face’, in a comedy ep called, [ title of album ]

i. spooky boy: ( based on neptune’s love of halloween & slightly dedicated to @elvvce & @ofcmargos‘s show ) boo bitch, you just got spooked (ayy) by a certified spooky ass dude (ayy) somebody let the monster loose in a graveyard sippin’ pumpkin juice wait (shh) do you hear that sound? every october it’s so profound all these other dudes act spooky for a month but a real spooky boy spooky all year ‘round plastic fangs on my teeth, sleeping in a coffin step up to all my cribs and all these decorations poppin’ i might go ooga booga booga boo i might just spook you and your homies too i’m just so spooky and greg is my crew (yeah) ayy, i’m a spooky boy ayy, with some spooky hands ayy, come up in your house and do a little spooky dance ayy, i’m a spooky boy, with a spooky face ayy it don’t matter i’ll spook at any time or place chillin’ with a skeleton, bitch, and a pumpkin on my head if you try to spook me you gon’ end up dead if you spook me again you gon’ end up undead (uh) that’s the life of the spooky boy better watch out if you see a full moon bitch yeah, i’ve been spooky like a mummy in a tomb bitch i don’t have a car because i fly on a broomstick pull up to the club, skrrt skrrt vroom vroom witch go to girls and they hella hella thin how thin are they? are they motherfucking skeletons?  that is not a joke about their weight, they are skeletons  Halloween music got us jigglin' like gelatin got a couch covered in cobwebs (cobwebs) got a whip covered in cobwebs (cobwebs) got a dog covered in cobwebs (cobwebs) spent way too much on cobwebs (ayy)  fake spooky dudes suck like Dracula i don’t give a damn if you a goblin you can back it up ghouls get crazy while i blow this cash, if you tryna monster smash ayy, I'm a spooky boy ayy, with some spooky knees ayy, I could teach you how to spook too for a spooky fee ayy, I'm a spooky boy ayy, with some spooky shoes ayy, and before this song is over you'll be spooky too  chillin’ with a skeleton, bitch, and a pumpkin on my head if you try to spook me you gon’ end up dead if you spook me again you gon’ end up undead (uh) that’s the life of the spooky boy

ii. beef with me: ( songs about people who start fake drama on yt for views ) ay, scrolling all day like I do (like I do) trying to see what's popping on the tube (youtube, ay) checking up on logan paul, too you know I'm not a maverick, that's true wait, what is this? jake paul, diss track logan paul, diss track ricegum, diss track all getting millions of views at first I'm like "what the fuck's up with these dudes?" 'till I saw they were getting views like cheap receipts I know that I'm an all around really nice guy but why nobody want to beef with me? I see this other guys roasting each other and raking in views the channels are flourishing so if you think I'd get mad if you roasted me I can endure it, man, I would encourage it, honestly all I want is them views original content's old news that shit makes me snooze start beef with me, you can't lose, ay  someone come beef with me someone come beef with me somebody who has a whole lot of subscribers please come and beef with me, uh someone come beef with me someone come beef with me my ego is fragile and you will destroy me if you come and beef with me I can send you a list of things I'm self-conscious about anything is fair game except for my feet ay, I could roast your vids, yeah you could roast my clothes, ay I could roast your diss track you could roast my nose you could write a whole song 'bout what I look like starting beef for views the oldest trick in the book, like trick is older than the sphynx come and roast me 'cause my content stinks I want a lot of views on YouTube I'm gonna need a long beef like sausage links I can pretend that you kidnapped my dog you can pretend that I beat up your mom we can pretend the police got involved we gon' be dropping this drama like bombs, ay  someone come beef with me someone come beef with me somebody who has a whole lot of subscribers please come and beef with me, uh someone come beef with me someone come beef with me my ego is fragile and you will destroy me if you come and beef with me  

iii. hop out the whip ( songs about people who ‘flex’ on yt ) skrtt! yeah, Tesla, Benz what do y'all know about hopping out of $300,000 cars?  hop out the whip hop back in (yeah) hop out the whip (ooh!) that's my shit (yeah!)  talk about look at the look in your eyes when I hop out of the Porsche hop out the Benz, hop out the Beamer, bitch I ain't got open the doors and I got a bad lil mama (lil mama!) she wanna go for a ride jokes on her, I'm only fourteen years old I do not know how to drive we just be sittin' in the car we just be sittin' in the whip I might hop right out right before I hop back in I've been working on my squats I've been working on my sprints I got a tramp in the garage, I bought brand new kicks so I can  hop out the whip hop back in (hop back in!) hop out the whip (hop out the whip!) that's my shit (yeah!) hop out the whip (hop out the whip y'all!) hop back in hop out the whip (hop out the whip!) ooh, that's my shit  this whippin' is serious (serious) it ain't even funny (nah) these bitches be buggin' (buggin', buggin', buggin', buggin') I just stay hopping like bunnies covered in carrots, what's up doc, can you look at my hip? I didn't take care of myself, I think I dislocated it when I hopped in the whip doin' tricks in the whip, 360 degrees in a flip going up to the highdive and diving this shit going up in a plane and skydiving in this and when I land we're highfiving I bet it did have a roof but it doesn't no more I put it away like I'm doing some chores now I can hop in and out of the whip 'til I figure out how to open the doors  hop out the whip (hop out the whip) hop back in (hop back in) hop out the whip (hop out the whip!) that's my shit, yeah hop out the whip (Hop out the whip!) hop back in (yeah, hop back in) hop out the whip (yeah, yeah) ooh, that's my shit (yuh!) can someone please tell me how to open the goddamn doors to this car game's over for y'all when I get my license, learn how to drive

iv. greg ( mostly for his fans but also for tom holland ) greg is the number one fanbase we livin' life in the fast lane we just hit 21 mil (ooh) time to pop open the champagne if you ain't Greg, that's lame greg is a beast that you can't tame greg takin' over the rap game greg is logan paul's dad's name  greg takin' off but these other dudes stalling greg full sprint but these other dudes crawling greg is hot on the court, we balling greg is hot on the web, Tom Holland number one Spiderman, hands down bitch talk about casting, such a great fit andrew Garfield still ain't shit toby maguire, you are not lit greg is a family, don't forget I would do anything for my gregs strongest army on the net fastest growing, please don't check greg is destroying, man, Greg is a winner greg is just eatin' up YouTube for dinner tom holland please, dm me on Twitter greg is a savage, man, greg is a killer haters are riding the wave (yeah) hoping that Greg will fall off (ooh) they say I got a young face (aye) just like Tom Holland, he's hot (uh) have you even seen his abs? (uh) I bet his skin is so soft (uh) greg is the realest on earth just in case all y'all forgot  I am truly greg, greg is all I need I don't fuck with craigs, they can kiss my knees we are a movement, you cannot divide us i'm Mr. Worldwide pitbull come and fight us 

v. spooky guy ( another song based on @elvvce & @ofcmargos‘s show? looks like it ) boo bitch, spooky boy's back ay, with the brand new spooky boy track waited all year for a chance to attack aside from orange I’m wearing all black not a treat but I got some tricks not a gang member but i live in crypts bright orbs in the background to all my pics you can call me drake 'cause I'm from that 6(66) (yuh) if you see me you better run outside, yeah you could be jekyll but you still couldn’t hyde, yeah spook ya then i'll eat some pumpkin pie and apple cida' hannibal lecter how i eat the track alive, yeah I'm a spooky guy I will never stop spookin' 'till the day I die I waited all year just so y'all would wanna see me now all these fake spooky guys wanna be me I ain't sippin’ lean, nah and I ain’t poppin' xans, yuh only poppin’ I do is to spook you and your friends, yuh poppin' out the casket then I do my spooky dance, yuh I do it for the spook, give a fuck if it offends ya  make spooky boys do the most, ay new whip looking like a ghost, ay new boo looking like a ghost, yuh cause she died three years ago, ohh that shit was really sad (yeahhh) and it was all over the news (spooked to death) and the only way I had to cope was a whole lotta booze (boo! boo!) spook you into a coma then I'll spook your ass out my spooking is advanced y'all still tryna learn how I can teach you how to spook for the right amount I’m dracula these witches going down for the count  'cause I'm a spooky dude and I will spook you every day, even if it's rude I waited all year just so y'all would wanna see me now all these fake spooky guys wanna be me I ain't sippin' lean, nah and I ain't poppin' xans, yuh only poppin' I do is to spook you and your friends, yuh poppin' out the casket then I do my spooky dance, yuh I do it for the spook, give a fuck if it offends ya 

[makingnewenemies]

Hi Hi Hi. Here is a little blurb I wrote off the top of my head about all my friends on this year’s Group Picture Vol. 8. I love them all. I love their songs. And I love that we still keep up this stupid tradition; and somehow the comp keeps getting better and better. Thanks everyone! Merry Christmas / Happy Holidays :) - walt

Sour Guy - All Those Plans Were Wrong

Last summer Kris Schobert (Sour Guy, Walter Etc. / Mitty core member, Ernie…) was admitted to the hospital… and then again… and then again…. I think he spent like a month total in the hospital. It was not chill. But when he got out, the whole experience gave him a bit of clarity and new perspective on his life and the decisions he has made thus far. I won’t speak any further for him, but Kris… hey, nice song! And your quality home recording production and continuation of the WMAHMO slop sound doesn’t not go unnoticed! This song made me tear up in a coffee shop the first time I heard it. 

Slaughter Beach, Dog - Big Band

Slaughter Beach, Dog are randomly GP staples by now but also one of my favorite bands and greatest friends. This song is a bit of a sound change for them, swapping mid tempo soft rock John K Sampson vibes for a theatrical late 60’s / 70’s sound that is a bit more light hearted than normal and I LOVE IT. It’s catchy, it makes me laugh, yet its so true. Glad to have these boys back this year.

Teal & Jer - Alphabet

Portland’s dreamiest duo Teal & Jer (Chain, Riled, Loose, lots of projects) bring a quirky alt edge to our otherwise bland and boring comp. Without them, we’d just be us. I personally would like to hear more Teal solo work??? Teal???

Milk Flud - Rodeo

If you don’t fuck with Milk Flud then you can get out.

Chase Hoyt - Health

Chase Hoyt (Ubu Roi, Feed, Chaz and the Minions of Chaz, The Rodeo…) is a GP fixture by now, and important asset to MNE because it’s his classic rock sensibilities that balance out the overload of folk / indie rock that we swim in. This song not only has a comically true message (health is the most important, i agree Chase) but the vibe, especially the chorus, has my head bobbing and me feeling like I’m on a grassy hillside at an outdoor concert in the 70’s, but also one glass of wine deep making homemade pizzas at an Air BNB with a girl I love, and that is a nice combo of feelings. “Let’s wrap it up / I’ve embarrassed us all enough”

Dry Goods - Learnt Nothing

You hear that flawless acoustic finger picking? That masculine story telling voice that sounds somewhere between a suburban Bob Dylan and a cowboy singing to the emptiness of the high desert? Yup, its Russell Park AKA Dry Goods and FKA Weston Bookhouse coming at us with another folk masterpiece, but this year adding in some new elements we aren’t quite used to- namely some cruisey guitar solos! Rumor has it Dry Goods is in the studio recording a new album right now and I would not be bummed out if this song were on it.

Byronius Punk - Beautiful Things

I just spent 3 weeks with Byronius Punk (Ian Farmer of Slaugher Beach, Dog / Modern Baseball) at his studio The Metal Shop in Philadelphia making a record with his beautiful mind and his new drum machine- so this song really hits home for me. I could write an essay on why this is the perfect Group Picture song- my three main points being - 1. It is a song about the act of creating. (“in everything that exists there lies a certain beauty / I want the world to know how much it all means to me”) which is exactly what Group Picture aims to celebrate. 2. It’s a song written and performed by someone who is usually more in the background of his bands (bassist / backup vox / recording engineer) but here has a platform to express his own individual style and skills, which is exactly what Group Picture wants to promote. 3. It has a Milk Flud name drop, which is a classic and classy GP / MNE move. Thank you Ian. You rule.

Dante Elephante - It Bothers Me

Dante Elephante are Santa Barbara legends and their new album “Rare Attractions” shows them evolving their sound into more loungey and ethereal territory. I am so glad they have joined GP this year, because I see singer / songwriter Ruben almost every weekend when he DJ’s at The Tavern in Ventura and I drunkenly annoy him / vaguely fan boy out on him. Dante being on Group Picture is a sign that our friendship extends beyond Saturday nights at the Tavern. Also their album vibes hard. Check out Rare Attractions on Spotify.

Peanut Butter Cups - Highest Quality

Petition for Aaron Kovacs (Peanut Butter cups, Lauren Records CEO, Winter Break and Summer Vacation drummer) to finally put out a full album? This catchy lo-fi pop rock is undeniably infectious. Fun fact: I’ve been hanging with this boy for almost 10 years and I’ve never heard him sing, but then he sends me these recordings and I’m like wtf your voice is so cool! If he makes a full album, MNE will put out the LP and still give him 100% of the digital income. That is how much I like Aaron’s style. 

Anika Pyle - Young Love

I once wrote a song with the lyric “I’ll probably see her on tour but she won’t be on Group Picture this year.” I’m so glad I was wrong. Welcome to GP Anika Pyle! Anika (Katie Ellen, Chumped) plays raw emotional pop rock songs and this gem “Young Love” is just the tip of the iceberg. When her vocals max out at the end of the tune and you get a little bit of musical goosebumps, that is the feeling you get for a full 30 minutes of watching her play live. Anika, please come in and stay for a while! 

Walter Etc. - This Would Only Happen to Me

Ok ok enough of the soft emotional bullshit. Here’s a song about someone coming to kill me! It’s 100% true. If you’re reading this, help!!!

Jake Lee - Good Run

Jake Lee (Bleeding Gums Murphy) strikes again with a lo-fi indie gem in which we hear Jake Lee reflect on his gaime from last year. Sounds like he made some interesting choices and is coming to terms with them? Or did I miss the mark, Jake? He is and always will be one of my favorite songwriters and his voice in this fuzz effect is not a bad look, I have to admit. The only way my life would be better is if Jake made a full album. Cheers homie.

Babytooth - State Quarters, OR

Technically, this is Babytooth’s official debut on Group Picture, but Portland, OR singer / songwriter Isabel Zacharias had a song on the comp last year that blew me away. It was her vocals and lyrics that hooked me then, and are still yanking me now. Now backed by a full band that gives dynamic range to her songs, it was still that first line “now you know you want a girl without a phone” that had me nodding “yup i love this”. Fingers crossed for Babytooth to become a GP staple.

Trashbike - Weasel

Trashbike is Bread (Blowout, Walter etc., Donkey Lips) and his homie Ru playing the pedals. He told me he wrote this song while stumbling home from the Bye and Bye. Bread is like a sexy emo prince, can’t you hear it? This song rules and I really hope Trashbike is more than just a one and done GP band. I would listen to a few albums of soft songs like this, wouldn’t you?

Banned From Japan - Vegan X

Welcome back to the Socal Valley punk rockers Banned From Japan! If you know that singer / songwriter Matthew Earle has been sober for a few years, this song is hilarious, simultaneously poking fun at vegan straight-edge and himself. The music rips and his vocals are catchy af. Fat Wrecks Chords come and sign Banned From Japan asap!

Walter X - Winter Shy

Ok. This is a bit meta. Walter X (Michael Mahaffie and his WMAHMO / Walter Etc. hardcore chip tune cover project) covers an old Walter GP song as his own GP song. Pretty niche MNE content! This song, in this Lifetime-esque style, his vocals so clear but so gruff, those guitar harmonies, the creative intro and chip-tuney bridge…. this literally gives me chills and is so much better than the original. I encourage anyone reading this to go check out his own original music under the name Jump Cut. It sounds just like this but with Michael’s own songs, shedding the limitations of the musical simpleton Walter songs.  Also, check out the full Walter X album on Spotify! What a talented dude…

Curling - Genkai Trip

Curling released their MNE album “Definitely Band” this year and the musical arrangements / song structures absolutely floored me. Genkai Trip is a song that got left off the album, but lives on through GP! Singer / guitarist Bernie Gelman noted “There's some pretty wacky guitar overdubs where Jojo and I each doubled some guitar parts while the other person was playing with the trem on the guitar, so you get this really weird detuning effect.” and yup that is Curling in a nutshell for you. Always excited to play around with gear and recording techniques that are way beyond my level.  I think this is an extremely underrated band and highly encourage the world to check out Definitely Band on spotify!

Ali Muhareb - DIY Hell

Ali? What the hell did you even make this song? It’s intriguing in the verses and then when the chorus busts out it sounds like if Dough Martsch were an up and coming artist in Portland in 2018. I actually had to text Ali to ask what these guitar sounds were and, if anyone is interested, he responded, “I compressed two guitars together through a virtual amp. And they’re both running through this sick pedal I got called the Data Corrupter.” For sure Ali! Thanks for a bad ass tune.

Dakota Loesch - Don’t Solve My Mysteries

I’ve been listening to a lot of Dakota’s music (solo, Animal City, Lemp Lungs) recently. I keep coming back to it, and its not a mystery. After hundreds of songs in his pocket, songs like “Don’t Solve My Mysteries” still sound musically and lyrically fresh, like Dakota has never had writer’s block in his life. When I listen to his music, I feel like it vicariously breaks down my own creative barriers. For instance when I first heard this song and he dropped the hook “just don’t solve all mysterious” I had that knee-jerk urge to ditch what I was doing and go write a poem or something. His will to create is just that contagious. Combine that with the Casio-keyboard bedroom drum machine vibe that I love so much about his songs like “The Basmati Rice” and you have a 10/10 GP banger. 

Jerbear - Nowhere Girl

Jerbear is Jeremy Murphy (Teal & Jer, Riled, so many) and he is the king of a few things: weird bad guitar tones, asymmetrical organic song structures, rad lyrics that I never understand, and a voice that is universally loved. He stole my heart with Cranberries in the Cosmos on a previous GP, but I think Nowhere Girl takes the cake. Jer- when do we get the full solo album? Please don’t fall into the category of GP lost wonders. You’re not too shabby at this music thing! 

Hemingway - Catch My Cool

Catch My Cool is a B-side from Hemingway’s You Will Never Be Happy.

I played drums in Hemingway at this time and I always vibed that Benny didn’t really like the way this song came out int he studio. I don’t get why? That vocal melody, soft sad and surfy guitar leads… it makes me wanna hold hands with a girl on Christmas Eve while walking down some bougie street looking at Christmas Lights. It sounds like a Starflyer 59 worship track and I love it for that. Benny, you made a mistake. This song should have made the album. 

Alex Maddox - The Hypocrit’s Dilemma

I’ve heard Alex play this song when we get together to jam, and he always laughs it off as a Walter Mitty rip off song. But honestly, this is what I wish WMAHMO would write about if we made a folk punk record today. If you listen to this song knowing that Alex Maddox was a guy who quit his high paying job to travel Europe in his van, surfing and skating and working on farms, the lyrics to this song are way more wanna-be Walter Mitty. The song depicts a transformation in his paradigm and is completely raw, authentic, and sincere. Alex inspires me to chase a wholesome life that is designed for and by myself, rather than the obvious and sterile template that is provided for us, and this song exemplifies that 1000%. 

Uncle Uncle - Nira (I’m Alive)

We played with Uncle Uncle last year in Santa Barbara and I honestly think we should have opened for them. They are actually a good band, both live and recorded. Stylish, friendly, and comically laid back- they might be the quintessential Santa Barbara band. A semi-new band, Uncle Uncle is gaining momentum quickly, and I won’t be surprised when the day comes that Kevin and Dom big time me on State st. Til then, I’m just glad I get to claim that they were on a Group Picture. 

Humphrey Orlando - Set U Free

Ah, Humphrey. No, Humphrey accompanied by Toast. Two legends as old as MNE itself. What is there to say? I could listen to their wandering ballads til I fall into the Big Sleep, and still the melodies linger on…

[thepatricktreestump]

Auden’s YouNow Vids!

Do you want to see me be a dork? Want to hear me ramble on for hours on end? Do you want to see me dance like an idiot and sing like Jacob Sartorious? Are you always preoccupied whenever I decide to stream? Do you want your mom to join the army of middle aged mothers who complain in my inbox about my topics of drug use, sex, and other inappropriate topics? (Yes I’m fucking bringing you up again Laura and Janice.) If so, then here you go! Whatever the reason might be, for entertainment or for finding good roast material, you’re in luck. These are my YouNow livestreams… I do them sometimes to talk to you guys, connect with y’all, and share my stories, jokes, and even myself more easily! *My YouNow is thepatricktreestump*

8.3.17 – 22min Treehouse: very first livestream, back to school tips, summer reading advice, talking about transitioning into high school, some of the classes I’m taking this year… 8.4.17 – 3min Bathtub: giving my bearded dragon a bath, that’s literally it 8.8.17 – 5min Aunt’s House: talking about fics I’m writing, Saudade plans, a shitton of tumblr updates and ideas, being hopeful for the upcoming school year… 8.14.17 – 19min Treehouse: how school is going, my love for hats, tmi period health talk, storytime my starbucks nightmare experience, guy talk and friend group drama, Ryden and Brallon, memes, my bearded dragon eating my homework, no regrets, geometry class stories, me giving my best regards to a chicken… 9.4.17 – 2sec Middle of the woods: Literally two seconds of me walking through a forest with my girlfriend at the time??? I don’t even know 11.14.17 – 5min Bedroom: Last stream with my long hair, talking about dysphoria, introduction of coconut water, showing off art on walls, apologizing for my hiatus… 11.19.17 – 20min Bedroom: Celebrating almost hitting 2.3k followers, new haircut, beanie vs hat, answering tumblr asks, I’m a fast ass typer, my anxiety with adding smiley faces and gifs, freaking out over requests, back at it again with dat coconut water life, being hype for MANIA, being paranoid, flashing a boob by accident, talking about meeting Anthony Amorim… 11.20.17 – 25min Bedroom: birth of the live ice cream mom joke, failing at making jokes, being hype for Christmas, procrastinating on writing Black & Red, answering tumblr asks, penguins, my little sister annoying me, having my writing read on almost every continent, being in a relationship, my social media moms, Twitter talk, being spontaneous af… 11.21.17 – 1hr20min Bedroom: Emo dabs, I listen to songs you’ve recommended me, return of the coconut water, being in love with blood, share some jams of my own, promoting After Laughter and Razia’s Shadow, rap one of my favorite songs, talk about musicals, lots of singing and dancing and reacting… 11.30.17 – 1hr Bedroom: I do my homework, freak out over my life being a mess, listen to some more music, I attempt to speak and sing Spanish, rant about the net neutrality issue, promoting AM and Cybersex, giving a government conspiracy theory, talk about dysphoria… 12.3.17 – 43min Bedroom/Bathroom: I play acoustic guitar, give my bearded dragon a bath, play some covers (WDBWOTV, 90210, House of Gold, Young Volcanoes), some original songs of mine (Sunday Morning, Insomnia, Rabbit Hole, etc.,), advice on how to ask people to use the right pronouns… 12.5.17 -53min Bedroom: Return of the coconut water, I listen and dance to BTS, I go through my art binder and sketchbook, I read and show the original “Poem For Emos” loose leaf, talk about the novels I’ve written, diss sprinkles, talk about the Dubai Anesthesia video…

12.7.17 – 50min Bedroom: Getting injured, finding acceptance through suffering, religion and explaining being an agnostic omnist, 55 questions, the optimism in pessimism, relationships, complaining about ortho, listening to Blackbear, Arctic Monkeys, and Fall Out Boy, transforming someone into a drag queen, more dancing…

12.15.17 - 40min

Bedroom: Listening to more music, talking about Brendon's 12 Days of Livestream, me being hesitant as fuck to livestream, doodling Santa Claus, wearing my S.O.'s christmas sweater, Brendon deciding to stream while I stream...

12.19.17 - 6min

In Bed: just a quick positivity post for you guys, keep doing what you're doing, you are enough...

12.23.17 - 34min

Bedroom: my 2017 in review, Aaron's transition, q&a, saudade, being interrupted by parents and relatives...

12.27.17 - 44min

Bedroom: Ukulele stream, sin blog got marked as explicit, dallon let panic!, playing a shitton of covers (Bad At Love, Creep, I'm Yours, Me and My Broken Heart, Skyscraper, Titanium, Hey There Delilah, This Is The First Day of my Life, Can't Help Falling in Love, Viva La Vida, Immortals, Valerie, Coconut Sharks in the Water, and much more), not really knowing what the fuck i'm doing...

12.28.17 - 1hr7min

Bedroom: reading my hate comments, giving unpopular opinions, roasting my followers, return of the coconut water, finding jeff, following Kaitlyn, jamming out to soul punk, talking about how I fell in love with brendon urie, what to do when home alone, being cheesy about how much I love you guys...

12.29.17 - 15min

Bedroom: messy hair, reading a call to love poem, book review on Pete Wentz's (not) autobiography Gray, I get all my shirts from Hot Topic...

12.31.17 - 56min

Bedroom: last livestream of 2017, talking about the Cabin album, performed my poetry program Because of Silence, read more suicide based poetry, return of the coconut water, improvisational ukulele music jam, I play covers (Alone Together, The Judge, New Rules, Fake Your Death, One Last Time, and more), happy new year's eve...

1.1.18 - 8min

Bedroom: Happy New Year, mall haul (Inside Scoop, Spencer's, Starbucks, Hot Topic), resolutions for the new year, healthy living...

1.4.18 - 47min

Bedroom: trigonometry homework, shitty return of the coconut water, listening to Vices & Virtues b-tracks, jamming out to other music, talking about how YouTubers grow up, the panic! song algorithm...

1.10.18 - 50min

Bedroom: storytime livestream, fuck apologies, changed the names in the story for privacy purposes, return of the coconut water, what happened this weekend, more tea is spilled, how my miserable day went, how I lost all of my friends, lots of drama, I am an honest person, talking about therapy and help, going to my school, mostly life problems...

1.12.18 - 32min

Bedroom: I hit a can for half an hour straight, learn how to play the dodie Heinz bean can song, troye sivan's new single, I throw a can in my face, not a big fan of corn, return of the superman pajamas...

1.14.18 - 7 min

Bedroom: laptop camera test, lots of purple glasses, bitching about finding quality guitar chords, Johnny Boy uke cover very messy and rough and low quality and glitch, me not being able to hit high notes lmfao, wearing my s.o.'s sweatshirt, tyler and josh phone lockscreen, thank you for support on my livestreams...

1.23.18 - 14min

Living room: super fucking sick, winning first place at a speech meet, I took my bearded dragon to the vet storytime, being connected to a pet, talking about joining the bts army...

1.28.18 - 44min

S.O's house: i'm still sick lol, mac and cheese, introducing my s.o. Gray, Q&A, talking about gender identity, unboxing, accidentally being sent surprise item, dad jokes, opening up christmas presents, also featuring Gray's dog Rico, complimenting other people, being addicted to lime hot Cheetos....

2.10.18 - 25min

Bedroom: got a new-ish haircut, crushed an interview for a theater internship, fanfiction recommendation list...

2.16.18 - 44min

Bedroom: valentine's day, wearing a binder, Can't Help Falling In Love cover, talking about how much I love you guys, re-reacting to BTS music videos, fangirling over the Black Panther album, we love and support Vince Staples in this household, Young Dumb and Broke cover, go text someone you miss and rekindle an old friendship...

3.13.18 - 7min

Bedroom: short summary of where I've been, "mental hospital" google doc, updates...

3.30.18 - 12 min

Bedroom: new wall, basically a drunk vlog, very delusional and out of sorts, k-pop ate me alive, being on spring break, talking about how I used to listen to music in middle school...

4.14.18 - 20min

Bedroom: all time low poster, talking about my date night, self-care tips and tricks talk...

4.25.18 - 12min

Treehouse: self-harm coping mechanisms, low quality stream I apologize...

4.27.18 - 20min

Bedroom: Patrick Stump's birthday, talking about the clique and the twenty one pilots comeback, dema theories...

5.3.18

Bedroom: with the bebe

6.14.18 

Park: talking to you after getting off of work

6.21.18

Kitchen: sick, chicken noodle soup, talking about IDKHBTFM and fall out boy

6.22.18

Aunt’s House: my sister in the background, pray for the wicked reaction, just a lot of fun idk

6.23.18

Kitchen: teaching you how to make cilantro lime rice!

6.27.18

Kitchen: ok honestly i forget what this is sorry

7.11.18

Bedroom: twenty one pilots is back bitch

[sharkfish]

google photos automatically creates albums for different people & pets you photograph based on creepy facial recognition technology 

it has created me a dean folder bc of the pictures with the dean cut out (which, i would like to state for the record, a) was not mine and b) is NOT life size it is about 2″ too short!!!) 

and lol some of the dean folder are screenies of stuff with people who have dean icons 😂 it recognizes @deanscasanova @sexuallyattractedtofanfiction and @brainheartpizza‘s dean icons

other interesting folders:

-scarlett johannson bc of a canvas hanging on my bedroom wall -johnny cash bc of a record cover hanging in my kitchen -beyonce bc of a canvas on my wall -CAS!! (tho there is a picture of my dog with grey’s anatomy playing on the tv in the background wherein dr shepherd has been identified as cas. WRONG!!! ONE IS HOT AND THE OTHER IS AWFUL!!!)  -the grumpy cat stuffie i stole from my mom -agent k from men in black bc of several photos taken in front of an MIB banner

i would show screenies but like 78% of my google photos is nudes which is esp true of pictures including canvases hanging on my bedroom wall sooo

[kpopsource-entertainment]

Top 10 KPop Highlights of January 2020: KS Picks

January 2020 marks the beginning of a new decade and a new era for Kpop. With a few soft, wistful ballads remaining yet nothing too exciting to anticipate, January was a slower month for interesting releases. However, with some heavy digging, KS Press brings to you some of the most intriguing releases of the month. Horizon (ATEEZ)

Spotify / YouTube Starting the new decade with a bang, ATEEZ came back with their new mini-album Treasure Epilogue: Action to Answer. From this album, “Horizon” particularly stands out from the crowd for its unusual sound and distinct tone. With a distorted, repeating vocal sample in the background and hard-hitting chorus that drives the song, “Horizon” perfectly captures ATEEZ’s unique, raw sound which has caused them to grow in popularity so quickly. A particularly interesting addition is the enhanced synth to the chorus during the climax of the song as it reaches an impactful conclusion. ATEEZ always has at least one song on their albums worthy of fulfilling the position of title track: “Horizon” was this one. The song's dance theme is recurrent yet it hits differently each time, leaving the listener craving for more. —Tato Winter Flower (Younha feat. RM)

Spotify / YouTube Dabbling in bright, compelling EDM with a certain sense of security and reassurance, Younha's "Winter Flower" brings comfort in bleak periods. Off her Unstable Mindset EP, the track is an absolute emotional banger with emergent kickdrums and Younha's explosive voice soaring high on top of a motivational instrumental. The chords are right within Younha's wheelhouse, but her artistry has never been bolder. The rightful successor to her 2017 masterpiece "RescuE," "Winter Flower" features RM's magnetic voice chanting words of solace. The track is rightfully named "Winter Flower," as it is an artistic bloom for Younha along with hinting at a resilient flower that blooms in the harshest conditions. —Mortie All for You (Sechskies)

Spotify / Youtube This marks not only the first Sechskies comeback since 2017 but also as the first one as a four-member group. “All for You” is the title song of their first mini-album All For You and follows the softer side of the first-generation K-pop group.  This song is about someone who tries their all for their special someone despite making mistakes and not being perfect. Saying how they wish their lover would say yes and that they would do everything for them. It definitely is a song that can live up to Sechskies classics like Couple and Hunch.  — Jen

Spotify / Youtube Wish (DreamNote) DreamNote came back in January with a bang. “Wish” is a song with magical and ethereal undertones in the base of the melody. Dream Wish, the album that accompanies this title is in general following this trend set by the title. The song is all about themes like dreams, courage and feelings being expressed. It falls in line with what this girl group has been offering to fans since their debut. —Jen AnySong (Zico)

Spotify / Youtube Zico talks about the feeling of having no interest towards life and is pleading to play in his upbeat, relatable single “AnySong.” With a swinging, playful rhythm, Zico expresses how he finally wants to feel refreshed and excited. The song mixes in jazz and shakers during moments which creates an almost comical tone as well being muffled during points, mirroring Zico’s confusion. Similar to songs like Dean’s “Instagram,” “AnySong” talks about the feelings of this generation in a way that is understandable. It discusses this topic in a relatable way and in a fitting mood. — Jen & Tato

Spotify / Youtube Say My Name (ANS) With the arrival of two new members, J and Haena, "Say My Name" marks ANS' first comeback and their first release as 8 members. The powerful and fierce song showcases ANS' impressive stage presence and their angel-like vocals. The single is a pop-based EDM dance track that captivates listeners with a highly addictive chorus. "Say My Name" perfectly captures the group's charisma and confidence. —Dani My Tragedy (Taeyeon)

Spotify / Youtube With a striking melancholy accordion to begin the song, "My Tragedy" paints a pensive and somber picture. The song is filled to the brim with rich guitar riffs, strong drums, and compelling vocals. Perhaps reflecting herself, the song speaks of loneliness and separation as one falls mercilessly to their doom, highlighted by Taeyeon’s fragmented voice especially during the last chorus. The accordion makes a dramatic reappearance during the bridge and the finale, the circular structure emphasizing her trapped state as she repeats the same cycle over and over again leading to an ultimate downfall. Loaded with personal gems, Purpose is an album that speaks close to Taeyeon. With its repackage, she captivates listeners yet again with her enchanting voice and emotive songs. —Tato

Spotify / Youtube Paradise (Siyeon; Dreamcatcher) Siyeon has been getting well-deserved attention for her vocals since her cover of "Speechless." It was a smart decision to give her a solo right now, especially one that showcases her vocals. "Paradise" is not only carried by vocals but also the soaring instrumentation. Starting off with light fluttering piano, the song slowly fuses electropop elements to create a buildup for the synth-driven chorus. The instrumental is dense but not overpowering, in fact it further highlights the vocals. The instrumental fully numbs down till the last verse of the bridge as Siyeon's soulful voice shines in it. "You are always in my heart" complements the climactic chorus that follows. Overall, the song has a motivational feel, one similar to "Into the new world".— Skinnny Flat Dog (HYUKOH)

Spotify / Youtube “Flat Dog” is a song from the K-indie band HYUKOH’s latest album Through Love. The retro-rock piece gives off a loafing and careless vibe, like a sweet summer nap.   The instrumental is pretty consistent throughout with a trumpet and drums dominating along with the addition of an electric guitar which adds more soul to the song. The mischievous-whisper singing style is as playful as IU’s “23.” The song is easy on the ears and perfect for cafés and such public places. —Skinnny

Spotify / Youtube Go Away Go Away (Chanyeol, Punch) Chanyeol and Punch come back with another heartfelt ballad this January. Chanyeol's husky baritone voice against Punch's melodic soprano voice make for a gorgeous duet. Driven by an acoustic guitar with occasional twinkling synths, the track revels in one quality - nostalgia. The chords are burgeoningly nostalgic and paint a certain aural aesthetic that touches the hearts of listeners. With lyrics about loneliness and reassurance, the track is the perfect ballad addition to our list and deserving to be one of the highlights of January. — Mortie Honourary Mentions: OnlyOneOf - dOra Maar VeriVery - Photo Jun & Chan (A.C.E) - Where You Are Super Junior - Ticky Tock Read the full article

[strawberry-boogie]

THE AGONY AND THE ECSTASY OF MARY J. BLIGE 

Brooklyn White

If someone would’ve asked me earlier this year if I was a Mary J. Blige fan, I would’ve said yes. No doubt. I’ll be 23 years old this fall, so although I wasn’t exactly allowed to jam secular music, I snuck around and I liked what I heard. Therefore, it’s safe to say that I grew up to her sounds. From peeping performances of “Real Love” on video channels, to having vivid memories of Mary expressing the depth of human emotion in a closet, to hearing “Be Without You” EVERYWHERE in middle school, I definitely have had my fair share of Blige and I’ve enjoyed it in full. Or so I thought. 

Truthfully, I didn’t understand much about Mary or the messages she’s shared until a few months ago. I knew that she’d been in a tumultuous relationship with K-Ci Hailey of Jodeci in the early 1990s and I also knew that love, specifically the dark side of it, was a central theme in her work. But, it wasn’t real to me yet. Sure, I liked the sound (Mary hits those notes and the beats are bops), I enjoyed the various looks she’s given over the years, and I was into her narrative on a surface level, but it took me going through my own personal hell and being reborn and researching her life to truly feel the agony and the ecstasy of Mary J. Blige.

(Bare Mary)

Blige was born in the Bronx, New York in early 1971 to a musically gifted mother, Cora, and a physically abusive father. Music was always important to the family though - Blige’s Vietnam-vet father, Thomas, was a funk musician. Thomas left the family when Mary was 4, but she has shared that he would pop back into the picture periodically. My findings revealed that the Blige women moved to Savannah, Georgia for a time, but I am unsure of the exact time period. Cora and her two young daughters then relocated to Yonkers, but unfortunately, they were constantly faced with the mistreatment of others, as well as various other forms of violence. Blige has described how while living in the projects, she would hear women yelling and running from their partners and her family would be chased by people wielding weapons. Mary also began being sexually abused by a caretaker at age 5.

As most artists and dreamers do, Mary soon found a beautiful escape from the horrors of her reality. She began singing in a Pentecostal church (a denomination known for it’s high energy services and heavenly music) and was inspired by the soulful voices of Chaka Khan, Anita Baker, and Milira. Although the music remained in her heart, Blige stopped frequenting church, dropped out of school, and began drinking and using drugs. She was a talented hairdresser, so she also spent her time doing her friends’s hair in her mother’s home. Blige soon caught wind of an opportunity to do karaoke at a nearby mall and went in to drop her rendition of Anita Baker’s smash hit, “Caught Up In The Rapture”. The performance was recorded and eventually found it’s way in the hands of Andre Harrell, the CEO of Uptown Records. Just like that, music had once again saved Mary J’s life.

(Shots of a young Mary)

Now affiliated with Uptown Records, Mary was given the opportunity to sing background vocals for popular acts until she began focusing solely on her debut body of work. In 1991, she was assigned to rising producer Sean “Puffy” Combs and they began crafting a sound that would define Blige and change R&B forever. ‘What’s the 411?’, a reference to Blige’s time as a 4-1-1 operator, combined her smooth, strong mezzo-soprano vocals with hip-hop inspired, new jack swing beats and experimented with the look and sound of what a female R&B vocalist was supposed to be like. 

(Combs and Blige, exact date unknown) 

Produced primarily by Combs, ‘What’s the 411?’ was released in the summer of 1992 to great reviews from Entertainment Weekly, All Music, and The Rolling Stone Album Guide. Critics praised the blending of genres, Blige’s voice, and her fly, no bullshit attitude, and the project was certified 3x platinum after selling 3 million copies. Singles included: “You Remind Me”, “Real Love”, “Reminisce”, “Sweet Thing” (a cover of Blige’s childhood inspiration, Chaka Khan’s, 1975 cut) and “Love No Limit”. The stunning debut hit the top of Billboard’s Hip Hop/R&B chart, rose to #6 on the Top 200 list, and certainly solidified Blige as a starlet to watch. A remix version of the project was released, but was not as successful, even though the “Reminisce” remix with C.L. Smooth is my jam.

(Blige performing the “Reminisce” remix for Uptown Unplugged in 1993; Dave Hollister stood in for C.L.)

Around this time, Mary also began a romance with Cedric “KCi” Hailey, a singer who also has roots in the Pentecostal church and was signed to Uptown Records in 1991 (as a member of Jodeci). He was featured on Mary’s debut, sharing vocals on the emotional ballad, “I Don’t Want To Do Anything” and stories of the duo’s fiery affair has allegedly been content for a few of Blige’s recordings. Mary remained relatively quiet about the situation in interviews, but she has discussed the final straw. Apparently, Hailey gave her a ring, and then denied their engagement on a television show in London. Blige was shown the footage of his denial on air and reveals how hurt she was by his behavior. (FOUL!!!!) She kept the creativity alive through it all though and began recording her sophomore effort, ‘My Life’ in the winter of 1993.

‘My Life’, with it’s raw feeling, use of old school soul samples, and serious subject matter, was a “call for help” according to Blige.  Shockingly, she didn’t think people would be receptive of it initially. But as fate would have it, the LP, released in late 1994, was not only understood, but well received. Scarred by the events of life, the R&B diva had turned to drugs and drinking again, but was inspired by the support of her fans to begin healing. As someone who has dealt with drugs, experienced sexual abuse, and chosen cruel partners out of self-hate, I comprehend the rockiness of the healing process. It takes time, and sometimes, it’s an ongoing process. You do good, you fuck up, you clean up, you do good, you fuck up...it goes on and on until you become who you want to be. I say this because Blige did not sober up immediately - it took her years to find her strength and love herself the way she needed to be loved. Even after winning her first Grammy for “I’ll Be There For You/You’re All I Need”, Blige continued to stumble. But she never gave up.  

(Blige on the cover on cover of EBONY in January 1998)

Project after project, including 97′s ‘Share My World’, 99′s ‘Mary’, and 2001′s super successful release, ‘No More Drama’, chronicled this process and gave listeners a look into the soul of a superstar. No hateration in this dancery, bitch. Blige’s life began to get better when she started a romance in 2000, with her now soon-to-be-ex, Kendu Isaacs. In the beginning, the couple seemed to be a match made in heaven and Mary has spoken on how she strongly she felt for her first husband. After 16 years though, Blige filed for divorce, stating irreconcilable differences. I now know that cheating is at the heart of the split and I can’t help but wonder what the hell Isaacs is thinking. Spousal support? What? How do you dog MARY JANE BLIGE and then get to HER bag? Mind blowing. 

On the more positive side, during their union, Blige gave up drugs and alcohol for good, modified her diet, and gave the world ‘Love & Life’, ‘The Breakthrough’, ‘Growing Pains’, ‘Stronger With Each Tear’, ‘My Life II’, ‘A Mary Christmas, and ‘The London Sessions’. She also co-headlined a tour with Jay-Z in 2008 to support their respective 2007 releases. It remains the best selling male/female hip-hop/r&b tour of all time, grossing over 30 million dollars. Blige also won 8 of her 9 Grammy awards during this time period. 

(Blige at the 2017 BET Awards)

In 2017, the media has focused heavily on her divorce from Isaacs (I scrolled through pages trying to find older news that spoke on the good points of their relationship), but that’s how it be. I got a few cosmic clues that Mary J Blige’s story was worth looking into and sharing, the first coming from my mom. When all of the news started to break about Mary’s split, my mom told me to (in so many words) to humanize Blige. “She’s our sister”, my mom said. Facts, Pastor Lewis. She is our sister, and we gotta love her and lift her up. My friend Don, who is kiiiiinda responsible for my most recent MJB spin, also helped me realize a few things about Blige. He showed me “U + Me”, a single from her latest offering, ‘Strength of a Woman’ and a light bulb went off. The stories of violence, the broken relationship with self, the deep desire for real love...I finally understood it and could enjoy it as someone with a past and bright future. I can say that I’m now a true fan because I know that we are reflections of one another. Our agony and ecstasy has become one.

Congratulations to Mary J. Blige for releasing her debut project on this day in 1992. Keep going Mary, I’m behind you. 

Peace.

[hatingwithfears]

Top Albums of 2018: 30- 11

30. SUN KIL MOON- THIS IS MY DINNER

29. MARK KOZELEK- MARK KOZELEK

A list of foods mentioned on the three hours of material that Kozelek put out this year:

Turtle soup

Fish soup

Gumbo

Dirty rice

Reindeer

Salmon

Thanksgiving turkey

Mashed potatoes

Stuffing

Sunflower seeds

Fries and a falafel

Burgers and shawarmas

Chicken and waffles

An enchilada plate at Taqueria Cancun

Tomatoes at a Mediterranean restaurant

Oranges and bananas from Walmart

Buffalo wings from Buffalo

A frankfurter hot dog

Boiled shrimp

Lasagna

An avocado

Lemons

A loaf of bread

A Snicker’s bar

Rating: 8.6

28. LAURA CANNELL & ANDRE BOSMAN- RECKONINGS

The first recording from violinist Laura Cannell and her husband Andre Bosman is a powerful display of improvisation and craft. Recorded in a churches with each song taking place in a different half hour recording session, Reckonings is a very solemn at times. At only half an hour long, these improvisations show a movement through sound, where the place carries an importance (plenty of albums have been recorded in churches (including live albums from Mount Eerie and Rufus Wainwright this year).

Rating: 8.6

27. BEN VINCE- ASSIMILATION

After collaborating with Joy Orbison last year, saxophonist Ben Vince continues teaming up with others on his new album. Assimilation adds Micachu & The Shapes, Merlin Nova, Rupert Clervaux and others, but it never makes the album less cohesive. Vince’s saxophone rhythmically howls in a way similar to Colin Stetson, it’s not as frantic, but it’s almost more avant-garde with songs like “Sensory Crossing” adding in jittery beats.

Rating: 8.6

26. WILL OLDHAM- SONGS OF LOVE AND HORROR

Will Oldham, aka Bonnie “Prince” Billy, on the album of acoustic covers of his own songs to go along with the publication of his lyric book, with the same title:

“It's just a tie-in. It's like a Star Wars Happy Meal or something like that. It really is.”

Rating: 8.7

25. FATHER JOHN MISTY- GOD’S FAVORITE CUSTOMER

A more simplistic recording than FJM’s previous two albums, and more simplistic with it’s songwriting too. It’s an internal album that has the songwriter moving through depression, love, writing itself. The album’s reality has our songwriter holed up in a hotel room. It’s not a new concept, or reality, but Father John Misty sings with an emotional conviction and immediacy that appeals to his first two albums, but still has the self awareness of Pure Comedy. He’s never been closer to Randy Newman.

Rating: 8.7

24. YOB- OUR RAW HEART

Guitarist and singer of the band Yob, Mike Scheidt, had a near death experience and underwent surgery and a hospital stay. Our Raw Heart is the a massive metal album with Yob pulling even further into spiritual territory that had only been dabbled with on other Yob records. The ten minute “Ablaze” is a pummeling and grand opener. “The Screen” has some thick post-rock sounds, and “Original Face” is one of the more typical metal songs that breaks through thanks to the great songwriting. The greatest moment on this massive work is on the sixteen minute, “Beauty In Fallen Leaves” a meditative track that show the band taking their time.

Rating: 8.7

23. TANGENTS- NEW BODIES

The third album from Australian jazz quintet Tangents, puts jazz into very electronic places, with thick bass, skilled guitar work, keyboards that shimmer or provide thick atmosphere when needed. The drums on New Bodies are the stand out here, with every track giving way to another complex drum pattern (the influence of Radiohead’s recent output is obvious to me). Even the shorter tracks here have a seamlessness to them that make the mix of jazz and electronic a true wonder.

Rating: 8.8

22. NILS FRAHM- ALL MELODY

Avant classical composer, Nils Frahm, recorded his new album at a studio room that he renovated himself and allowed himself as much time as needed to complete All Melody. What we get is a classical album that can sound very organic (“My Friend the Forest” and “Forever Changeless” are strongly piano based, “Human Range” has choir vocals, plucked strings, horns) and also moments of electronic wonder that can float into songs and stick there (“All Melody”, or the droning “Sunson”).

Rating: 8.8

21. THE BODY- I HAVE FOUGHT AGAINST IT, BUT I CAN’T ANY LONGER

Terror is one thing to show up in metal. Dread is something else entirely, and The Body have continued to emulate that sound in their albums over the last decade, and their new album is another branch of experimentation for the group. The beats from their last proper album pop back up here, but it’s even bleaker this time around. From the guttural screams, the mixing of hip hop beats, even some songs have a thick dance beat.

With a title that quotes Virginia Woolfe’s suicide note, a black and white photograph of a closed off rural road serves as the album cover, and there’s an eight minute mournful, depressive track “Ten Times A Day, Every Day, A Stranger” that has a monotonous spoken word throughout.

Rating: 8.8

20. KEIJI HAINO + SUMAC- AMERICAN DOLLAR BILL KEEP FACING SIDEWAYS, YOU’RE TOO HIDEOUS TO LOOK AT FACE ON

Recorded over one day, doom metal band Sumac teamed up with Japanese guitarist-vocalist Kijiji Naino. With an opening track that goes on for twenty minutes, and the music never stays put for longer than fifteen seconds. It’s brutal, odd, and avante garde. (And it reminds me of Can!) There’s a song title that a paragraph long. And it’s been somewhat written off for those facts that actually make it stand out from a lot of the more shallow art pieces in avant garde in today’s music.

Rating: 8.9

19. NONAME- ROOM 25

Two years after putting out her debut, Room 25 has seemed to catapult Noname into stardom (of some degree), and it’s worthy of the praise. Soft soulful instrumentals, strings, even Latin jazz. It’s an introspective album that speaks frankly about sex (“Window”, “Montego Bae”), American issues (from Clinton to Chick Fil-A to a song about a corrupt cop). On only album number two, Noname is setting up to be one our greatest rappers.

Rating: 8.9

18. SZUN WAVES- NEW HYMN TO FREEDOM

The second album from this jazz trio is an electronic jazz wonder that takes ease in ambient sounds one track, then rushes into some quick playing. The track, “Temple” flutters through some high keyboards that rush in part of the way through, build, then dissipate long enough for a great saxophone solo. There’s bells, there’s drones, there’s repetition. New Hymn To Freedom is a dark album that has a menacing undertone ringing throughout. The final two songs are bleak works that show how jazz can capture our state in music.

Rating: 9.0

17. YVES TUMOR- SAFE IN THE HANDS OF LOVE

On his debut for Warp Records, Yves Tumor goes down a more commercial road than his previous work, like the great 2016 album Serpent Music. This switch of labels gives Yves Tumor a bigger sound that has some really catchy hooks, like “Noid” or “Lifetime”. Yet, Safe In The Hands of Love is a stunning noise album never lets the listener get unsettled. Many of these songs sound like something you’ve heard before, except it’s all been distorted, tossed around.

With noise music coming closer to the mainstream in the last few years, Safe In The Hands of Love make a push for these kinds of sounds (artists Puce Mary, James K and Croation Amor are featured here). The sense of dread on the album is accentuated in some lyrics (single “Noid”), while other moments push for something greater than the current dilemma (“Economy of Freedom” and “Hope In Suffering”)

Rating: 9.1

16. TROYE SIVAN- BLOOM

The opening song “Seventeen” is about hooking up with an older man on Grindr. It could have been a sinister song, but Sivan looks at the situation as a growing experience, and doesn’t place blame. The lead single “My! My! My!” Has a massive chorus where Sivan is caught up the ecstasy of his partner and the joys of passionate sex. On the second single “Bloom”, Sivan uses the huge pop-rock sound and turns the subject to bottoming for the first time. “Plum” takes to using fruit as metaphor, much like last year’s film Call Me By Your Name, looking at a relationship that can’t last. Other songs like “Postcard” or “Lucky Strike” are simple tracks, but the mere mention of a male pronoun or submissive sex makes these songs stand out from all other pop music that’s left today.

Rating: 9.1

15. PHILIPPE BRONCHEIN- ME AND THE MOON

This collection of eight songs from Bronchein is his first under his name (his previous three were under the name Hip Hatchet), and his best work yet. Me and The Moon is a country album that wanders through America, but never seems too vast, Bronchein’s songwriting is eloquent enough to make the ordinary moments seem more lyrical then they ever could be. One song mentions doing a Springsteen song at karaoke, Springsteen’s Nebraska sound shows up on Me and Moon. This musical simplicity gives Bronchein plenty of poetic moments: “From Seattle down to Tennessee/Always looking back/At the life I could have had”, “a thin line between thankful and naive/ which is just the same as that between the man I am/ and the man I wanna be”.

Rating: 9.1

14. FOXING- NEARER MY GOD

An album brimming with ideas, with songs that move the band further out from the emo rock label that’s been assigned to them. Nearer My God has a degree of anxiety that’s reminiscent of The Antlers, “Trapped in Dillard’s” and “Gameshark” are two songs that have some astounding vocals. “Five Cups” would have been the centerpiece to any other album, at nine minutes long, the track has strings, horns, beats, it’s a grand piece that’s not even the best track here. “Nearer My God” is the rock song of the year, from it’s glimmering keys that hang in the background, to the conviction of the vocals, the massive chorus, it’s a perfect rock song.

Rating: 9.2

13. MITSKI- BE THE COWBOY

This collection of songs has multitude of emotions, but never once do these songs become drab. It’s an icy album. It’s romantic. It’s longing. The use of pop structures from country music (“Lonesome Love”, “Blue Light”), indie rock (“Remember My Name”, “Washing Machine Heart”), disco (“Nobody”), Beatles-esque pop (“Me and My Husband”). With short songs that don’t waste time, Mitski’s album setup is reminiscent of The Beatles. At fourteen songs, with only three going beyond the 2:30 mark, it’s a tightly done collection.

Rating: 9.2

12. SLEEP- THE SCIENCES

A surprise release on 4/20, and an astronaut smoking weed on the cover would be shitty stoner music, but this isn’t stitty stoner music. This is stoner metal, some of the best. Coming twenty years after their album Dopesmoker, it’s a thick, heavy and catchy metal album. The lyrical quality of the work has been updated in a way. There’s still plenty of lines about weed, but there’s a spiritual edge to most of the tracks here that builds upon the mythology of the band.

Rating: 9.3

11. BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN- SPRINGSTEEN ON BROADWAY

After a year of sold out shows, Bruce Springsteen’s glowingly received one man show was released as a film on Netflix and a double CD. Springsteen on Broadway has Springsteen going through some tracks in his long discography, these songs are presented with Springsteen on acoustic guitar, with (or without) harmonica, and piano. His wife, Patti Scialfa joins her husband on stage to play two songs from Tunnel of Love (“Brilliant Disguise” and “Tougher Than The Rest”).

This is a Broadway show: there’s a set of songs, and there’s a script to be adhered too. Springsteen’s frank autobiography, Born To Run, provides the lyrical prose between the songs, where we see Springsteen discuss his life, his band, religion, humor, and his own myth. It’s a very meta presentation that shows the artist giving his stories, his pains, his humor to the audience that has adored him for so many years.

Rating: 9.3