#the catfish & the mouse one shot

[beefrobeefcal]

Pointing Fingers feat. Ezra & f!reader

Summary: Will has an opinion and you have a need for comfort. Part 4 of There are Other Fish in the Sea

Pairing: Frankie, Ezra & Mouse | Rating: Explicit 18+ (MDNI) | Word Count: 2,964

Content Warnings: verbal fight, words said in anger, digital penetration (f receiving), mentions of Watership Down (childhood trauma)

Author's Notes: Strides are being made. Will is a big floppy donkey dink.

Thank you to @strang3lov3 and @noxturnalpascal for brainstorming this with me, and to @bitchesuntitled and @mothandpidgeon for their eyes and love.

No more tag lists - follow @beefnotes + turn on notifications for fic updates!

Dating Ezra was something else. Since that first night in the apartment, you’d both agreed to go slow and get to know each other further. He’d admitted to you that he, too, was nervous, given he hadn’t been in a solid, actual relationship in a while, spending the last decade in and out of ‘dalliances of convenience’.

“Situationships?”, you asked, trying to suppress your grin.

“Situa- Little Bird!”, he exclaimed, faux-chiding you as his eyes danced with a laugh. “How on earth do you know such a bastardization of the English language?”

Throwing your hands up in surrender, you laugh. “That’s what they call it!”

“Oh yes, they!”, he mock-scolded you. He stands up at the table in the coffee shop and leans over.  “They! The ones who hold the power to command society in their hands!”

At that moment, you didn’t care that other patrons in the coffee shop were looking at you. The squealing giggle you let out spurned Ezra on and he gave you a gleeful, mischievous grin.

Standing up straight, he raised his arms as if he were giving a Shakespearean soliloquy, and declared,  “They! The ones who decide on all of humanity’s terrible statistics and give us their opinions on our horrible habits!”

Dating Ezra was something else, and you were loving every minute.

***** 

You arrived home one evening after a date, and upon walking in the door, Will was sitting in the living room. He stood up and you felt like you couldn’t breathe. You’d avoided him since that lunch you had at Denny’s. 

“Hello.”

Will crossed his arms across his chest and gave you a parentally-critical look. You fought the beg-for-forgiveness feeling that he elicited in you, dropped your purse and jacket on the bench by the door, and mirrored his stance, crossing your own arms. 

“Hi.”

Benny let out an irritated sigh, getting up from the couch. He turns to Will and points. “I’ll leave you to it, but if I hear so much as one unhappy sound coming from her, I’ll break your nose. Again.”

Benny went into the kitchen to give the two of you privacy, and you stood awkwardly squared off with Will.

After a tense few seconds, Will cleared his throat.

“Ben says you’re seeing someone.”

You nodded, looking down at your anxious, tapping foot, then back up. “Yeah. Yes. I am, yes.”

He hums in response, nodding his head once. You noted his jaw had tightened slightly. You didn’t feel intimidated anymore and your patience was running thin. How dare he show up unannounced and try to throw his weight around. You didn’t owe him shit. 

“And you’re happy w–”

“What do you want, Will?”

Your interjection earned you Will’s raised brow and cold stare. When you didn’t back down, he dropped his arms and stepped towards you.

“I want to make sure you’re okay–”

“Bullshit.”, you snapped. “You came here because Frankie came whining to you about me telling–”

His eyes widened under furrowed brows as his head tilted. Will raised his finger to his mouth in a shushing-motion. “Mouse - don’t. I am just checking in.”

No. He was not allowed to come in and tell you to be quiet in your own home. “Oh come on! This is not ‘checking in’! You come here to interrogate me because-”

“Mouse–”

“--you think I am doing everything wrong by trying to–to move on and have a life that you don’t approve–” “Mouse–”

“-- of and who the fuck do you think you are, Will? My dad? You aren’t! You wanted me to stay with a guy who cheated on me and drank himself into sleeping with Santi’s sloppy fucking seconds and– “

“Mouse, I–”

“He wasn’t good for me anymore!”

Will walked up to you and held your shoulders. His eyes looked over your face sadly. This did nothing to soothe your temper.

“Mouse, honey–” Will’s voice was softer now and his thumbs rubbed your shoulders as he tried to get you to calm down. “He hurt me, Will, and you wanted me to go back to him!”, you snarled, shoving his arms off you and stepping back.

Will looked down, as if he were trying to collect himself and let out a sigh. When he raised his head again, his icy blue eyes were staring daggers at you. 

“You’re so fucking stubborn!”, he yelled. 

“Oh, I’m stubborn? You fucking come here to pick a fight with me, your own cousin, over a relationship that ended last year! You’re the fucking stubborn one!”

“Big fucking deal, Mouse! He fucked up and he apologized! You didn’t even give Frankie a chance! He loves you and you’re killing him!”

You felt your face grow hot and you clenched your fists. “What the fuck did you say?”

Will took two strides towards you, his hand jutting out and gripping your shoulder. His eyes bore into yours and he spoke in a low and terrifying voice. “You owe Frankie better. You are better than this. You can’t turn your back on your family- ”

Benny came sprinting into the room and pulled Will back from you. “You’re done!”

Will turned, shoving Benny off him and turned back to you, pointing aggressively. “I hope you know what a fucking joke you are, Mouse!”, he yelled as Benny grabbed him from behind, hauling him to the door. “You are a fucking piece of shit for doing this to him! You’re dead to me!”

The disgust and burning rage he’d left you with was threatening to pull you apart. You needed a release - a knife to the cord trap that had you tethered. You needed Ezra.

As soon as Benny had him out of the apartment, you grabbed your purse and jacket, and took off out the door. Hearing Benny loudly ripping into Will as he dragged him down the stairs, you went the opposite way to the building’s emergency exit and out into the cool night air.

****

Ezra’s door opened to your hasty banging, and his face grew concerned when he saw you.

“Little B–”

His words were stopped when your mouth landed on his, your hands gripping and pulling him into a feverish kiss. The force that you threw yourself on him sent the both of you stumbling back into his apartment. He sensed the desperation in you, and when you pushed to deepen the kiss, he yielded. It wasn’t until his own need and fervor matched yours that he moved up off the console table you had him pinned against, his hands furiously working to rid you of your jacket.

You parted, both panting through reddened mouths. Chest heaving, Ezra knew what you wanted and, as much as he wanted to launch himself at you and give you what you were demanding, he couldn’t ignore the shards of pain in your gaze.

He held his hand up, gently pulsing it towards you as a signal to slow down. “As much as I am sorely tempted to fuck you senseless, Little Bird… I must ask what is happening?”

You felt the heat creep up in your face and you realized what you had done. Your hands dropped to your sides, fingers fidgeting in and out of fists, and you looked up, blinking, to stop the tears.

Ezra lowered his hand and stepped towards you, eyes sympathetic, and he clicked his tongue and pulled you into a hug.

*****

“Remind me again why your cousin is so invested in getting you and-and that man back together?”, he asked softly.

You sat tucked into Ezra’s side with his arm around you securely. You sighed, eyes fixed on the glow of the TV.

“Will was the only dad-archetype I ever had. What he said was gold and, even though he was wary of me and Frankie dating at first, I think he liked keeping it, you know, all in the family…”

“He knew things were bad with us, but he… he told me to tough through it because he knew what Frankie had seen when he was deployed and I needed to be his-his anchor… or whatever.”

Ezra hummed in response, nodding as his thumb gently rubbed circles on your arm.

“I don’t know why really… I just know that based on tonight, he’s made it clear what I am to him.”

“Words spoken in anger are rarely honest. We spew all sorts of nonsense when we hurt with the intention of hurting others, Little Bird.”, he murmured as he pressed a kiss into your hair, then laid his cheek on your head and pulled you in tighter.

His words reverberated in your skull. Was Will hurting? You’d never stopped to think about how badly your and Frankie’s break up had hurt everyone. Sure, you knew they were affected, but hurt? 

You silently mused for a moment before asking, “How’d you get so smart?”

Ezra chuckled softly. “Experience, mostly. I spent my youth hurting people, Little Bird. Using my words to hurl daggers at anyone who I saw fit. I drove away a lot of good until I allowed myself to admit that I was hurting.”

You sat back and looked at him. He finally turned and you saw the weariness of guilt on his face for just a moment before he smiled softly. 

“I say this because you are hurting, Little Bird, and as much as you want to lash out and seek comfort in carnal things, you need to let those wings heal first.”

His hand came up and gently held your face. “And heal you will, Little Bird.”

*****

Sleeping in the same bed as Ezra had excited you. At least until he fell asleep and you laid in the dark in a strange bed, staring up at the ceiling. His soft breaths accented by the occasional light snore were an upgrade to the sound of the pipes rattling in your apartment with Benny, but it wasn’t enough to calm your mind. 

You quietly slipped out of bed and padded softly into the living room. The dim light from the streetlamp outside lit the room enough that you could make your way to the couch. Turning on the table lamp, you grabbed the book on the side table, looking at the cover: Watership Down. You hadn’t read this since your elementary school days and your interest was piqued. You flipped it open and on the first page there was a scrawled message:

Ezra,

Happy 10th birthday! May all your days be spent hopping in a field carefree.

Love, Mum

October 30th, 1990

You smiled. You assumed based on this that his mother had never read or knew the plot of this book and just saw the illustrated rabbits on the cover. Then again, it had been so long since you read it…

*****

Ezra found you on the couch, sipping a glass of water, his old copy of Watership Down on the couch next to you. He kissed you softly from behind the couch, then leaned his weight on the back of it on his elbows. His fingers gently slipped through your hair. 

“I awoke and found myself bereft of you. And yet here you are, seeking comfort with Hazel and his warren.”, he muttered into your hair with a kiss, feigning irritation with a small grin.

“You’re mom gave you this.”, you stated, holding the book up.

He nodded. “That she did.”

“Did she know what this book was about?”

Ezra looked down and smiled to himself. “I believe she did.”

You stared at Ezra, a little confused.

He sighed and turned his head down, eyes on the couch. “My mother - above everything - believes that life’s best teacher is failure. And failure only happens with risk. Risk starts with asking questions, and questions are prompted by a need for knowledge… her choices of books for me were part of that.”

“Smart woman.”

Ezra chuckled and stood up, stretching. He let out a groan as his sleepy joints popped and cracked. Looking at him, you couldn’t help but admire his form, backlit by the window behind him. He caught you ogling him and his smile seemed to rival the warm light silhouetting him. 

“You’re gonna read for me.”

He sauntered around the couch and sat heavily beside you. 

“Am I now?”, you smiled back.

“Yes, you are, Little Bird.”, he breathed as he leaned in and kissed your neck. His hand slipped across your waist and he pulled you closer to him.

His voice was low and gravelly.  “Go on, now. Read.”

You sighed and opened the book, trying to at least make your voice as appealing and melodic as his, but knowing it was a futile effort. 

Chorus: Why do you cry out thus, unless at some vision of horror?

Cassandra: The house reeks of death and is dripping blood…

“You skip that part.”, he huskily grunted into your neck. 

“The primroses were over. Toward the edge of the wood, where the ground became open and sloped down to an old fence and a brambly ditch beyond, only a few fading patches of pale yellow still showed among the–”

Ezra’s mouth nipped, sucked and kissed at your neck a little more fervently and the large hand that held you close slipped down between your crossed legs, palming your mound, causing you to pause.

“Keep. Reading.”

You’d lost your place as his middle finger pushed his boxers into your slit. Ezra smiled against your neck.

“So easily distracted…”, he cooed with a grin. 

He pulled his hand away and pulled the book from your hands, tossing it to the side. He then maneuvered you onto your back with him wedged on his side between you and the back of the couch. Your arm closest to him was under your head, allowing his head to rest on your upper arm.

As his fingers trained down your body, he kissed you. It was just as fervent and demanding as his mouth’s assault on your neck moments ago. His hand reached the waistband of the boxers and gently pushed underneath. A soft moan passed from your mouth to his as his fingers, no longer burdened by fabric, gently touched and pet your folds. 

“You tell me… Little Bird, you tell me that you want this… that you want me…”

“I want this- you. Fuck yes. I… I-oh fuck, Ezra!”

 His long, thick finger circled and pressed down on your clit, pulling slick up from your hole.

“So very special, Little Bird… so responsive.”, he grunted again, nudging his nose against your jaw to gain access to your neck. 

You could feel his erection pressing into your thigh as he adjusted, dropping a leg over yours to pull your thighs apart a little further. Your hand darted down to his cock, assuming he would want it, but he pulled his head back and shook it subtly. 

“No, sweet girl. I want to watch you fall apart unburdened by my needs.”

He danced a finger around your hole and watched with heavy lids as your lips parted, soft, panting sounds escaping. “Keep singing for me, Little Bird.”

Your hand then moved on top of his, holding his wrist as he began to prod his finger in and out of you. Moving from his wrist slowly, your hand covered what it could of his.

You hadn’t been touched like this in… ever. This was sensual and didn’t feel rushed or forced. You almost allowed another moment to compare Ezra to Frankie, but the way he pushed in a second finger blanked your mind. Your body responded by arching your back slightly and the low whine that peeled out of your throat had Ezra’s cock seem to harden further against your thigh.

“That’s it,  let me in…”

Ezra pulled his hand back and adjusted himself beside you to have more leverage. He pulled down the boxers, and you lifted your hips to allow him to remove them completely. He hovered over you, knelt between your legs, holding his body up on the armrest above your head, and leaned down to kiss you again. 

His fingers found your sex again and pushed two fingers into you, finding a rhythm. Your hands gripped his impossibly broad shoulders and you panted and moaned into his mouth. He sat back, eyes trained on his fingers disappearing over and over in you and he licked his parted lips.

“Please… sweet girl, let me… fuck!- let me see you cum.” 

His pleading voice and the way his eyes watched you was adding to the tightening coil. His thumb found your clit again and lightly rubbed small circles. 

Your body tensed and Ezra’s brows furrowed; he let out a low groan as your core fluttered and squeezed his fingers. 

“Please… please, Birdie… lemme see…”

He’d lost the ability to loquaciously vocalize his every thought and was reduced to under enunciating his words as he watched you fall apart.

You cried out, eyes clenched and your hands gripping each of his wrists. He panted along with you, murmuring praises.

“That’s it… there it is… my sweet Birdie…”

You came down and he pulled his fingers from you, wiping them on the discarded boxers, and he laid down on the couch again, pulling your back to his front.

You laid together for a moment, breathing in tandem. Ezra kissed your shoulder softly.

“Thank you.”, you murmured.

You could feel his smile as he pressed another kiss. “I should be the one thanking you. I was the blessed party that got to watch you succumb.” 

You let out a laugh, a real, full, genuine laugh, and Ezra joined in. You felt a peace in your heart that was slowly flooding the rest of you. 

It didn’t matter if this wasn’t going to last - in this moment, you felt free.

No more tag lists - follow @beefnotes + turn on notifications for fic updates!

[pedroshotwifey]

Frankie "Catfish" Morales Fic Recs

A Helping Hand by @dameronscopilot One shot - Benny Miller x f!reader x Frankie Morales

Be Polite by @jksprincess10 One shot - sub!Frankie Morales x dom! f reader

A Fond Farewell by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin Mini-Series - Frankie Morales x f!reader

My Girl by @foli-vora One shot - Dave York x f!reader x Francisco “Catfish” Morales

Frankie Snippet by @ozarkthedog Drabble - Frankie Morales x reader

The Catfish & The Mouse by @beefrobeefcal One shot series - Chubby!Frankie Morales x fem!reader

The First Time by @fettuccin-e One shot - Frankie Morales x afab!reader

Day 3 - Exhibitionism by @tropes-and-tales One shot - Frankie Morales x f!reader

Time by @pedropascalsx Drabble - Frankie Morales x f!reader

A Soft Place to Land by @guess-my-next-obsession Drabble - Frankie Morales x gn!reader

Cravings and Crash by @pedge-page Series (unfinished) Frankie Morales x f!reader

Vis-a-Vis by @hier--soir One shot - Neighbor!Frankie Morales x f!reader This literally belongs in a museum and I'm not joking

Tonight You Belong To Me by @intheorangebedroom Series (Ongoing) - Frankie Morales x Fem!Reader

UPDATED 12/3/23

[mikeys-magic-graveyard]

What pets would the cast of TR and FMA have?

What pets would the TR cast have?

This seems like a fun asf one! Also ima expand just a lil more on a few :) i think i also might do demon slayer bc theres no requests for it :( link to FMA ver || link to demon slayer ver

Please note i havent read the manga so ill take a shot at a few characters who i think I understand their personalities but if im wrong dont @ me

Mikey

This bitch totally has a ferret named sherlock stinky. Fight me. He makes sure to take extra special care of him, because he was a surprise from shinichiro before, yk- :(

Draken

He owns a snake, 100% and a fucking HUGE one at that. (Its a hefty burmie) It freaks emma and takemichi the fuck out. lowkey mikey too. (Takemichi cried ofc)

While working on his bike he just lets it chill out on the bike/around his neck. He also probably has a beardie and has looked into crocodiles (hes a sucker for reptiles and honestly me too man) draken be like

Takemichi

He has a hamster and a few zebra tetras. He cant handle much more the that. Also this poor sucker cannot keep a hamster alive, he will treat it with the utmost care and love and its still gonna die in abt a month or two

Mitsuya

Hes also probably a snake dude. Actually was the one who recommended the dude draken got his snake from. He prefers a smaller snake though. He has two, a green tree python and a lavender coloured corn snake. In winter he makes them lil sweaters, he will make one for drakens snake too, even if its a bit of work, yk? He also probably has one of those really pretty fish tanks that him and his sisters set up 🥺🥺 (maybe sum like this? 👇)

Baji

He would have a cat 100% he probably brings all sorts of animals home, not just cats. The list so far is 2 birds, a squirrel, a dog, 2 cats, a salamander, a rabbit, ALMOST a chicken from a petting zoo, a decent amount of toads, and tadpoles i have brought all of these home and more he also is the one his mom calls when she sees a mouse, she never lets him keep it :(

Chifuyu

Cats, cats, cats. He also helps baji catch random animals. Idk what else to say abt him 😭😭

Kazutora

Once again, cats. He has considered some sort of rodent but decided against it, later on he got a cockatiel. He also has a few catfish :)

Kawata twins

They probably have to share a pet and fought over what to get. Smiley wanted a ferret and Angry wanted a mouse

In the end they ended up with a turtle.

They love him to death but still bicker over what rodent they should’ve gotten instead

Im sure they also own a few little fish, they seem like they’d go for something a lil more basic

Souya wanted a betta, nahoya wanted a goldfish therefore staring up the sibling rivalry again

Souya drew the short straw so they ended up with an oranda goldfish nahoya named “nerd”

Haitani brothers

These fuckers have pet tarantulas. These assholes love scaring people with them

ran got sanzu by surprise once and made him scream like a little girl

Ran has a mexican red knee and will sometimes take her with him to do shit, she normally poses no issues (mex red knees r VERY docile and calm)

Rindou opted for a cobalt blue tarantula for his first one, he later on realized his mistake. (Ran totally knew they’re NOT for newbies to arachnid care but said nothing lol)

Rin will sometimes get jealous of his brother for having a pet he can actually handle. Ran just chuckles at him and refuses to share his

Kisaki

He has one of those REALLY fucking annoying and aggressive chihuahuas. He brings it EVERYWHERE and carries it in a dumb little bag

Shall i say more?

Hanma

Somehow, SOMEHOW AND SOMEWHERE this fucker got his hands on a horse, nobody knows where it came from, why he got a horse, and where tf he keeps it 💀 but he has been spotted with it on multiple occasions. He got himself a black forest horse.

After about 6 months it dissapeared and he got something normal

It was a german sheppard

Sanzu

Ok so i can see sanzu having a nice collection of tropical fish

His prized fish is a platinum arowana, considering the cost and rarity of the mutation.

He also really likes longnose hawkfish

He has one pet octopus that has escaped 3 times now. Hes finally got him in a secure tank.

Idk if im forgetting anyone, its like 5am so forgive me 😭

bonus hc: episode 21/chapter 61 spoilers, small manga spoiler (its the future shit)

In the pet shop after Baji’s death, Chifuyu and Kazutora keep a large, black, longhaired cat around the shop named Kei. He’s a bit of a trouble maker and an asshole to anyone but them and they really believe its baji reincarnated 😭🥺

[ohheyitsokay]

Okay so TF Poly thoughts

These guys have worked and lived together for years. Decades, probably. So they'd know each other real well.

Santi and Frankie have lots of practice at spotting when Will and Benny are getting on each other's nerves, as siblings do. They've got plans in place for removing one or both siblings from the situation and de-escalating things.

Similarly, they all know when one of them is in need of a break or time off, and they work seamlessly to give people time alone as needed.

On the flip side, they make sure to spend time with each other, too, and not just with you around. It's a poly relationship, after all, even if you are the center of it. But I fully believe that they go out with each other too - Frankie and Will go to a bar. Santi and Benny spend time sparring and playfully tussling.

And they all spend time with you too - alone, in pairs, as a group. It's a learning curve for all of them, but one they're happy to learn and explore together.

(Also I'm legit so flattered that you're giving me my own tag, I just want to smoosh you.)

yes yes yes to all of this!!

I hadn't considered their 'sibling squabbling prevention and de-escalation tactics' - between the brothers and just in general. I need to stop writing serious poly frontier fics so I raise you:

a silly ficlet about small conflicts requiring small resolutions

warnings the same as all my tf poly fics: 18+, poly relationship, strong language

The tension was palpable.

Silence as the brothers stared each other down, Will wound so tense he was almost trembling, Benny's laughter long dead in the air.

"Take a joke-"

"You know what-"

The fact that they spoke at the same time didnt help at all, Santi noted.

He had been watching, amused with Frankie, as Ironhead had shot after Benny like cat and mouse. After several chaotic moments they'd ended up here, on either side of the kitchen island, both light on their feet, half wanting to fake out their direction.

Drama and wicked grins were simmering down, leaving remnants of arguments long put to sleep, and Pope and Catfish realized quickly the little thing was about to become a full blown argument.

"He's got a big meeting today," Santi said, voice barely audible, and Frankie nodded, unspoken game plans now fully activated, they both swooped in with practiced efficiency.

Santi took Benny, sliding over the counter to planting himself in the younger man's way.

"Enough," he said, giving him a fist bump his brother wouldnt see, and raising his eye brows.

Behind him, Frankie was in Will's space, hand running over the blonde hairs along his jaw.

"Hey, handsome," he said, quirking a smile.

Will started to protest the compliment, only to be shushed, and to Frankie's pride, he cooled a little, softening at the words and touch.

Benny opened his mouth to make a triumphant goad, only to be distracted by Santi.

You walked in to find him suspended midair, surprized and confused, as Pope grinned at you. And you turned, to see your Catfish gently bumping into... Will.

I... missed something, you thought.

And you had.

Your Ironhead had the bluest hair that you had ever seen.

[villanellebeing-gay-iskillingeve]

Villaneve Fanfic Master List

With season three done, and the long wait for season 4, here are some fics to help pass the time.

Imagine Me and You (and Our Parents) in which Eve and Villanelle’s parents are getting married, forcing them to be entirely awkward with the unresolved chemistry between themselves. It’s basically the set up for a romcom. 

Love Language (fluent in your) a medical drama! Long but worth the read. 

Confessions, a one shot that takes place after the season finale. Definitely something I wished had happened in the show but oh well. Maybe in season four it’ll happen? 

Different for us is a slight au that features Eve as a forensic psychologist whose tasked with dealing with Villanelle and her shenanigans. Excellent world building and pacing in the story. Feels like reading an actual book. 

Professional boundaries is what I consider a classic Villaneve fic. It picks up from the season one ending and is a must read just because it’s fun.

Down, Down under the earth goes another lover, featuring a cat and mouse game where it’s more cat and cat. A lot of good plot twists so I won’t mention them, but it’s a good read and the way the author gets inside their minds and characterizes them is an art of it’s own. 

Step in front of a runaway train, another story where Eve is sent to kinda rehabilitate an in prison Villanelle. Except this story is about ten times darker and features Eve yelling at a boar, sweating in Florida heat, and dreaming about Villanelle (except maybe it wasn’t a dream?) This whole story feels like a prelude to a fever dream in the best way possible. 

In darkness she beckons, in which Eve has premonitions about murders, which leads her directly into the path of Villanelle. Only a few chapters out, but it’s very interesting and shows lots of promise. 

The Unconventional Bodyguard, only a couple chapters are out so far, but it looks to have great promise for comedy and for awkward situations to happen that will lead to them falling in love. 

Cuba, a funny fic about Eve, Villanelle, Konstantin, and Irina going to Cuba. This will brighten your day. 

Beep Beep, a one chapter fic about Villanelle being a dick to Eve when she loses her car, in the most funny fashion ever. It all leads to love, though. 

Quid Pro Quo, a lawyer!Villanelle fic, in which she helps Eve divorce from her husband and in the process they fall in love. It’s a cute fic, with plenty of action. Makes me think of the movie Legally Blonde, if it was ten times gayer. 

Love at First Swipe, a Tinder AU. Eve thinks she’s being catfished but she’s not, and it leads to an interesting turn of events. 

Straightforward, Eve wants to cut her hair; Villanelle totally does not freak out about it. Honestly, a cute and in character one shot. 

The Wrong Kind of Almost, Eve sees Villanelle working at MI6, but that can’t be true, right? No one else notices it, so it simply can’t be true. Right? Right????

Issues (We’ve got the Kind of Love to Solve Them) is a ten part series. It is an adventure and definitely worth the read. It will make you feel so many things. 

Not a Chance in Hell, is an assassin vs. assassin story. Eve calls Villanelle puppy. If that’s not reason enough to read, then I don’t know what is. 

The heat of the moment, a story where Eve is a trainer and Villanelle is her trainee. It’s a really good, fast paced story. The fights are detailed and will have you rooting for Villanelle to win so she can advance in her career. 

Love to the Point of Invention, a kinda sci-fi story where Villanelle is an android that Eve falls for. Haven’t seen this AU type yet in this fandom, so it’s a refreshing read from all the other ones. 

Only by dark is a great idea of what season two could have been like and it’s pretty good.The original characters are amazing and I wish the author of this could have written the actual season two. Another Villaneve classic. 

#Bringdownthe12 is a one shot in a very interesting and fun format. it details all of the seasons together and is a good refresher for plot details. 

Season 3: The Scripts basically an imagining of what season three could have been like in script format. It’s really good and honestly fills in more blanks than the actually season three did, while also maintaining a story about Villanelle’s past. The writers of the show should have taken some cues from this. 

Infancy the baby fic you didn’t know you needed. Seriously, it’s really cute and will have you in your feels. 

Manie Sans Delire another amazing fic. This one, post season 2. And still, filling in the gaps way better than the actual season three did. 

[something-very-special]

Impressions

I know I’m way behind on progression through Replicant (insofar as anybody can be ‘way behind’ in the sense of playing a video game for personal entertainment), buuuut I figured I’d share a few thoughts.

Presently I’m doing sidequest mop-up post-Barren Temple, for reference:

So just to get this overall out of the way, I am legitimately fascinated by the differences between NIER and Replicant. This is something I picked up on when I played RepliCant to grab footage for my LP, but given my extremely limited understanding of Japanese all I could get was the tone between characters and to my unpracticed ear they sounded pretty different. I always assumed that Weiss was somehow even more condescending to Brother and hah hah, wow. Even kind of expecting the dialogue and delivery differences I was not prepared for some of the dialogue and delivery differences. Weiss just straight-up insulting BroNier on the regular, not even doing sarcastic eye-rolls like he does with Papa. I don’t remember the exact line that set me off but somewhere in the Barren Temple I was just laughing my ass off at how much of a dick Weiss is.

Thought the ‘miracles’ conversation in the Junk Heap was interesting, too. I remember Papa Nier telling Weiss to stuff it because ‘those kids need a miracle’ and Weiss kind of backs down-- obviously doesn’t believe it, but he knows better than to push. And Brother tries but Weiss is just not having this optimism bullshit. Little things, but the tenor of the relationship is definitely different.

One of the more interesting aspects early on is the way the Lunar Tear is treated. Obviously I don’t know if this was part of the original game or a script adjustment, but Brother talking about the Tear as a source of money as opposed to Father saying it can grant wishes was interesting. Maybe it was to justify that Kaine just has a whole necklace of the damn things and therefore it’s rare but not literally magic, but it always sounded like it was just meant to be taken as a myth to me anyway. Then again, it’s established in the Grimoire that Brother has a fixation specifically on making money so he can support himself and Yonah (versus Papa Nier, who has obviously already established himself as an adult rather than a kid still figuring things out and hoping that enough money will solve all their problems).

Where the dialogue doesn’t diverge is interesting, too. Mostly I’m talking about the scene after defeating Hook. I always found Papa Nier exclaiming “You’re going to live, Kaine!” and “Yes, we’re friends now!” to be obvious holdovers from a younger protagonist just goddamn hilarious when Papa Nier is saying them. They’re still really funny with Brother Nier but just remembering Papa Nier doing the exact same delivery in his deep, manly voice just re-elevated the whole scene into comedy gold.

All of that is really why I was interested in getting the game so already my money is well spent. But there’s some other stuff:

They butchered the OST! ...or so people keep telling me on Youtube. I admit I do think the re-orchestrations is largely inferior to the original (although there are some that are at least as good in a different way, and whatever they did to The Lost Forest -- which was one of my least favorite tracks in the original -- I really enjoy) but I wouldn’t call it a butchering and I highly suspect that if I didn’t have the eleven years of the original OST and its association within the game itself I wouldn’t bat an eye, it still all sounds great.

Also, a weird observation, but I found that the soundtrack sounds much better coming out of the TV speakers than through headphones. I’m not sure if somehow it was optimized for play through external speakers, or maybe just not hearing the added orchestration right up against my eardrums, but when I went to the Lost Shrine with headphones on I was admittedly disappointed, but going to it again and listening through the TV it worked significantly better.

(I’m not sure if this is necessarily a factor, but the booklet in the White Snow edition mentions that the new soundtrack was all studio mixed rather than having the individual tracks layered. While I don’t think that would have an impact on music quality it almost definitely makes a difference in the way it’s produced.)

I miss chest-thrusting to double jump Movement overall feels much more refined and polished. It’s not as slick as Automata, but it definitely feels like a natural evolution of the original game, and as an apologist for NIER’s combat I can appreciate that. A little more responsive, I appreciate being able to move while casting magic, and it still has a bit of a crunch behind weapon impact (although I wish it felt a bit heavier).

But goodness I miss the stupid animation for double-jumping. I mean sure, an aerial somersault is a classic indication of a double jump, but I just loved that Nier would chest-thrust so hard he would break the laws of physics and ascend higher.

It also feels a bit like the aerial dodge was nerfed for movement purposes? I really don’t feel as much horizontal thrust to get a running start after diving off the Library balcony.

Fully voiced? Fully voiced?! I knew this was happening but I totally forgot until the NPC villagers started talking to me! Some of the incidental deliveries are a bit awkward, but as somebody whose glasses prescription is a decade out of date I appreciate this immensely.

The item guy in Seafront just being from the goddamn Bronx is a thing of beauty.

BroNier does fit into the Village better. One of the little details I love in the game is that each bit of civilization has its own style. The maps aren’t large enough to really convey how long travel takes, but the different styles between the Village and Seafront just kind of helped to ‘place’ the characters in a really neat, subtle way (Emil’s sash identifies him as ‘belonging to’ Seafront, which is actually pertinent when you get that sidequest where you find the letter from his science-mom in town! I assume she always wore a kicky sash when she went to work in the underground child torture bunker.)

Facade obviously also has their own style, but it’s... hard not to appreciate.

Papa Nier’s dress doesn’t really ‘place’ him anywhere, which doesn’t feel weird for the main character, and I feel like it’s implied that he isn’t really from the Village in a meaningful way anyway and kind of drifted in at some point after Yonah had been born. But younger Brother Nier is actually wearing the local fashion and it’s a neat little detail that I didn’t appreciate back when I played PS3 RepliCant. (Probably because I didn’t bother talking to any NPCs what with not being able to read the dialogue, so I never really had him standing next to anybody for long enough to process.) Older Brother Nier takes on a very different outfit that winds up displacing him from the rest of the Village (and any other towns), which is a pretty nice visual metaphor, too.

I have a confession to make. I still enjoy fishing in this game.

Yeah I said it. I’ll say it again too-- I like the fishing minigame. I happily blitzed through the Fisherman’s available Gambits, and then just caught five sharks while I was hanging out, and then also caught the sandfish ahead of time, and also wound up with a half-ton giant catfish (??!?) trying to remember where the black bass are located.

Cart me away.

Related but I laughed far too hard when the fisherman says “the WESTERN beach”. I wonder why they changed that line. I just can’t imagine.

And those seals. Always a delight to go to early Seafront and just plant yourself between a couple of seals. Watch the ocean. Listen to the music and the waves. Watch the seals lazily roll around and make cute seal barks.

The most depressing thing about the timeskip is losing those seals.

My garden--! The gardening timeskip exploit was fixed due to a difference in PS4 architecture. :/ I know there’s still an exploit involving time zones but I didn’t go in knowing that and I was horrified when I adjusted the system clock only to find my crops weren’t growing. Is Legendary Gardener still a trophy? Fffffuuuuu

My BARREN TEMPLE. The Barren Temple is, to me, a legitimately funny dungeon, between Sechs getting himself abducted, Kaine getting herself abducted and Nier and Weiss just sighing in resignation, and the whole concept of the rules-based challenges. And the adjustment they made to the Prince’s dialogue before you meet him is so good-- the original felt a little disjointed and felt like it ended with the Prince being confused. It was still funny, but here Weiss just gives zero fucks about insulting the Prince (and presumably knows that’s exactly who he’s talking to) and it’s just great.

And I say all of that because I just died laughing when I got to the infamous Racing Wolf room and saw they outlawed evasion.

Evasion works differently in this game anyway so you wouldn’t have really been able to do the same trick before (dodge roll; in the original release you would dodge roll forward by tapping the button, but a default evasion has you backstep. Of course you could arrange BroNier to face away from the trap and then evade, but it would be significantly dicier, and I feel like the pattern on the shots was awkward enough that you wouldn’t have an opening in the second row (and probably would’ve have dodged your ass right into the bullets anyway). But just that they acknowledged the trick and then flipped you off with it was amazing. Aggravating? My amusement far outweighed my frustration since the Defend trick was still solid.

It also felt like more rooms outlawed jumping? That I can’t corroborate (I was really focusing on whether they did something to Racing Wolf, which is of course the most traumatic of the rooms) but I feel like it wasn’t as easy to cheese some of those rooms as it had been previously.

Dark Blast is amazing. Cheesed the shit out of the actual ‘Evasive Mouse’ room, though. I remember having some difficulties when the miniboss shows up since you can’t dodge out of the way of his lava pillar attack, but I just circle-strafed with Dark Blast and he died comically quickly.

This is actually more relevant to the magic as a whole, but in the time since I first played NIER (so... probably the time I fifth played NIER) I learned more about the little intracacies of the magic system. Like, really little intricacies, like how you can use magic with just a button tap and it actually has different effects... like Dark Blast dealing significantly more damage. It’s not as easy as just holding down the button and getting the multi-shot off the charge, but for a single enemy like that just rapid-fire tapping the button chews through the lifebar.

This tap strategy is really appreciated for Dark Hand (forward thrust punch) and Dark Lance (which is even better thanks to the game’s lock-assist-- a much appreciated quality-of-life adjustment), and I look forward to getting Dark Execution because of its fast activation feature (spreading the lances in a forward cone in front of you, extremely useful for crowd control when you can’t afford to wait for Execution to charge up).

Fragile Delivery still sucks. I don’t know why I had such a terrible time with the first Fragile Delivery but I broke that... Ming vase or whatever you’re delivering half a dozen times. Send that guy a steel rug instead, Guard #3, he is not worth whatever piece of art you had me destroy six times.

And the game still holds up. This is probably a ‘needless to say’ thing but yeah, this is still a great game. I always have a little bit of apprehension going back to something I loved just in case there’s a rose-colored effect going on. Not that I really expected that to happen with this game (I’ve played NIER recently enough that I didn’t think nostalgia would blind me) but, you know, always a possibility.

(That and that the remaster would be... perhaps of dubious quality. It happens.)

Nope! Still engaging. Still charming. I’m always impressed to go back to this game with all the knowledge of its inevitable misery and remember that it’s also just plain funny. NIER is one of those games that’s just like I remember it but better every time I go back to it.

I’m so glad that Automata did well enough to spur greater interest in this game. It really didn’t get the chance it deserved back in 2010 and now it’s topping some of the sales charts. That’s fantastic.

Just... fantastic.

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Secret Identity Masterlist

Links Last Checked: May 13th, 2022

Behind a Mask (ao3) - EmrysBeard

Summary: Dan, frankly, hates Phil. Phil's friends have been bullying him since primary school, and though the dark haired boy doesn't directly participate, Dan knows that Phil's leering glare means bad news. And then, when Halloween comes around, Dan puts on a mask and attends a Halloween party. While there, he meets another masked boy and for the first time in Dan's life, he has a shot at romance.

Conversely, Phil feels bad that his friends bully Dan, and so when he gets invited to a Halloween party, Phil can't wait to put on a mask and be someone else for a night. He'd never want to come out as gay, but while behind a mask, he feels brave, so he agrees to dance with a boy. He doesn't know who this dream boy is, but Phil is falling head over heals.

Dan may not know who his new masked lover is, but he's determined to find out.

But It’s Better if You Do - gorgeousdan

Summary: (tw) When Louise invites Dan and Phil to a Halloween masquerade ball, Phil suggests they go alone. Dan doesn’t expect much to happen, until Phil kisses him. Now, Phil’s on a hunt to find the boy he kissed. The twist? He doesn’t know it was Dan.

Cat and Mouse - jilliancares

Summary: Dan Howell is the Panther. He’s evil, nefarious, ingenious, and good at coming up with adjectives for himself. The Raven is a nuisance, but he’s definitely the most fun part when it comes to being a villain. As a child, Dan had been scared of his powers. He’d been weak. He’d become strong, though. Strong enough to torment the city; strong enough to annoy the Raven with every opportunity he got. Phil Lester only had one goal these days. To become strong enough to defeat the Panther.

“catfish” - akaarie

Summary: Seventeen-year-old Dan Howell never expected he’d meet the man of his dreams in an online chatroom. Six months later, he’d also never expected they’d end up coincidentally rooming together in a vacation house. This wouldn’t have been too bad if Dan had actually told Phil the truth about his identity, not that his name was “Blake”. Now, he’s stuck on a week long holiday with an Internet crush who has no idea who he really is.

Exposed - multifandomfanfics

Summary: Ridgewell High School is known for its fast spreading rumours. So when someone starts a blog dedicated to outing people’s secrets, everyone becomes paranoid that theirs will be next.

Famous (ao3) - HelloAnonymousWriter

Summary: Dan has the best of both worlds. He is the famous singer - Daniel James and he’s ordinary Dan Howell. He finally decides to tell his best friend and crush - Phil.

heart full of headlines (ao3) - dantiloquent

Summary: Phil Lester has a lot of good things: supportive friends, a lovely dog, a world tour, a famous writing blog.

He also has magic. It shouldn't be a problem - except, in a world where magic is hated and mocked, it is. After a disastrous run in with Guardian-acclaimed "Modern Beat Generation Boy" Dan Howell ends in an unexpected friendship, Phil finds himself having to make more and more choices. While his blog sends him all over the world, and while their friendship develops, Phil can't help but bring it all back to one pivotal issue: who can he tell?

Hero (ao3) - pastelpunkdan

Summary: where Dan is a hero an Phil is a villain and they are dating but they don't know that they are enemies.

If You Think You Know Me - ineverhadmyinternetphase

Summary: Fiction. Phil’s a police Sergeant. He’s been itching to get promoted to Inspector for ages, but to do so, he needs to crack his biggest case - famed internet hacker the Howler. Phil’s been after him for years, but he’d never managed to get even a hint towards his identity. When he meets a hot stranger in a bar one night, Phil thinks his luck might just be turning up. But maybe getting close to this particular stranger isn’t the best idea.

Jesus Christ, That’s a Pretty Face - botanistlester

Summary: Phil is a famous singer who never shows his face, and Dan is a fan that unknowingly meets his idol in a library.

Leave Me Your Wake - undressrehearsal

Summary: Louise invited Dan and Phil to a party and Dan decides to take a policy of secrecy.

Love and Lies (ao3) - Phandiction

Summary: Phil is a twenty-four year old prince who's stayed anonymous to his people since his birth and poses as the "princes adviser." Dan is twenty years old and poor, working in the palace kitchen making food for both the prince and the prince's adviser in order to feed his mother and two siblings. Unknowing of Phil's secret, they fall for one another. Phil knows he has to tell his secret eventually. Easier said than done when he's finally found someone he doesn't want to loose.

Masquerade - waverlysangels

Summary: (tw) Dan goes to a school for spies, he’s not supposed to be noticed, not supposed to be given a second glance, but Phil seems to see him, actually see him, and not just his cover.

Messages - interrupted-by-fireworks

Summary: Phil starts getting cute, little messages from a secret admirer.

Rebellion (wattpad) - VegaPancakes

Summary: After the Queen died, her son took over. He grew hungry with power. Under hushed words, people would call him The Tyrant. If you talked of such things and got caught, you’d be jailed for life, no matter what age. However, masked groups of people are rebelling against the new King’s system, starting riots, slowly breaking apart the government. The hostages never spoke, even at the brink of death. Now people are talking about teens, as young as fourteen, joining the ranks. Other rumors say that their leader is a teenager himself.

Phil Lester has known Dan for a while now. About three years, in fact. They are fantastic friends, maybe even best friends, and they would always tell each other everything. Right?

Dan Howell is a secret leader of the Rebels. He doesn’t want Phil to know. Because if Phil find out, he might want to join. And that will get his best friend killed. So once Daniel leaves the gates of Manchester’s Hall for ages 11-18, he puts on his mask and enters a new personality.

Song Stuck In My Head - xinyanhowell

Summary: Phil’s best friend is getting married. How can one song change so many lives forever?

So We Meet Again (ao3) - americanphancakes

Summary: One night Dan forgets that he was supposed to hang out with Phil, playing his favorite MMO instead. Dan beats himself up for being the worst best friend ever. Meanwhile, Phil wants to understand what keeps Dan coming back to the game, so he creates an account to investigate firsthand.

Your Voice - botanistlester

Summary: Dan is an opera singer that doesn’t show his face. Phil is a fan. One day, Phil is in a park and hears Dan singing softly sitting under a tree.

[trade-baby-blues]

The Birds and the Bees

Pairing: Jim x Reader

Word Count: 2661

Warnings: angst, jokes, animal injury, Jim injury

A/N: This was a request by @thefabulousgosling​! Hopefully I did it justice. I was fighting through a serious case of writer’s block trying to write this lol. Also “Kovas” is the Baltic god of war, which I thought was a funny name for the bird! I only did a brief reread so if there’s any mistakes please feel free to point them out and I’ll fix them!! 

“Are you out of your goddamn mind?” The ensign in front of you flinched away from your voice, rising like the red in your cheeks as you puffed yourself up. “This is an entirely unknown species - an avian species, no less - and your first instinct is to shoot it?! Why don't you give me that blaster and we’ll see how you like being shot you piece of-

“Woah, woah slow down,” Jim said with a chuckle, grabbing your hands before you could lunge for the ensign’s blaster. “It's just a bird.”

You snatched your hands back. “Just a...just a bird? We’re the ones invading its territory. Ensign Jessup had no right to shoot it. Just a bird. God that's like saying my bed is just a bed.”

“Okay, I get it I’m sorry, but what do you want me to do? It's against policy to bring unknown creatures onto the ship.”

“It's also against policy to bang your lead zoologist and yet here we are.”

Jim blinked quickly, trying to come up with an adequate argument, but gave up almost as soon as he’d started. Whatever trouble he’d get in for bringing the bird on board was nothing compared to the trouble you’d give him. He raised his hands up in surrender: “Fine, but the bird is your responsibility. If it gets out or mauls an ensign it’s on you.”

“My hero,” you said sarcastically before grabbing your backpack. You dumped the contents on the ground, hoping it would work as a makeshift carrier for the time being.

The bird squawked in fear as you approached, attempting to fly away. It lifted itself an inch off the ground before tumbling back down, scattering iridescent blue feathers and green blood across the ground. You took the opportunity to throw the bag over it and scoop it up, zipping the bag shut. The bird struggled in the bag as you shouted for Scotty to beam you back up.

After much coaxing, you convinced the bird to come out of the backpack in your office. Jim had brought a few pieces of fauna from the planet in hopes he’d win back some of your favor and even agreed to postpone leaving a few days so the “botanists can continue studying the planet’s surface.” At least that's what he’d said. You knew he was trying to give you time to patch up the bird.

Kovas, as you’d taken to calling him, healed like a champ. He healed nearly three times as fast as birds on earth and, with the added help of the osteo and dermal regenerators, Kovas was happily walking around your lab. His wing wasn’t healed enough for sustained flight, but he managed to flap them around enough to make a mess of your lab. While you thought it was cute, your coworkers disagreed, counting down the minutes until Jim asked you to let the bird go.

With a heavy heart and much arguing, you finally agreed, beaming down to the planet with Kovas perched on your shoulder, nibbling on your hair. You kissed the top of his head. His feathers felt coarse and firm. Almost like catfish spines. He nuzzled his beak against the underside of your chin and you felt a pang of grief as you raised your other arm for him to hop onto. Kovas did happily, allowing you to set him back onto the ground.

“Be good out there, Kovas, okay?” He tilted his head at your voice. You cleared your throat as you stood, trying to ease the tightness growing there. It was stupid to get so worked up over a bird you’d only known a couple days and yet still knew next to nothing about, but here you were.

Jim sensed your distress and took a step towards you, brushing his fingers against yours. You smiled weakly at him and nodded. Your sign that you were ready to go before you changed your mind. Jim made the call to Scotty and you felt the all too familiar sensation of the transporter picking you up. You waved one last time at Kovas.

As the gold light wrapped around you, you heard a terrible sound. Harsh and grating and filled with sadness. It morphed as you listened, twisting into what almost sounded like the word “No.” Then you felt a sharp impact to your chest, sending you staggering back as your feet finally touched back down on the Enterprise. Your arms went up instinctively, cradling your chest and the weight against it. Kovas stretched his beak up against your chin again, spreading his good wing out around your arm.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Jim said.

After attempting to let Kovas loose on the planet surface three more times (including once when Jim went by himself and came back with his hair ruffled, shirt in tatters, and Kovas clinging to his arm like a bat) Jim finally agreed to let him stay on the ship for “scientific study.” You and Kovas hardly left the lab after that, eager to learn everything you could about each other.

The first thing you noticed was his diet. Kovas was mostly carnivorous, preferring to nibble at pieces of chicken or fish than the oats and seeds you’d offered him. Another interesting discovery about his eating practices was his beak. Initially it seemed to be very similar to a cockatoo’s beak, but as soon as Kovas ate you saw it was also hinged in the middle of the bottom jaw, allowing him to open his mouth in three parts. Needless to say, you nearly fell out of your chair the first time you’d seen it.

The second thing you noticed was that he seemed to be nocturnal. It was a difficult transition at first. The days on Kovas’s home planet were longer than days on the Enterprise, but you did your best to help him adjust, spending most of your nights with Kovas in the lab to ensure he settled in. It was during one of these sleepovers that Kovas finally spoke. Well, kind of spoke. It sounded more like a child learning a new word, but it excited you all the same.

Kovas’s vocabulary quickly grew from a few single syllable words into patchwork sentences. He was even able to call your name when he wanted attention. You encouraged him excitedly, pushing his vocabulary and his motor skills. He could open boxes and play with toys - his favorite was a stuffed mouse on a string.

“He’s so amazing,” you explained to Jim over breakfast. “Every day I learn something new about him. God I can’t wait to see how he reacts to birds on Earth. They look the same physically - I mean, Kovas is much bigger obviously - but they’ve got some really similar mannerisms and-” Jim cut you off by standing up abruptly and skulking out of the mess hall. You stared after him, words still hanging off your tongue, and looked at Bones for an explanation. He shrugged and dove back into his breakfast.

You were in your lab with Kovas going through some flight exercises to help his wing heal when the door opened behind you. Jim hovered there, more unsure of himself than you’d seen him in awhile. He fidgeted with the sleeves of his uniform shirt as he stepped in and focused his gaze on Kovas instead of you.

“Hey, babe,” you said as you stood from your chair, pressing a kiss to Jim’s cheek. He tensed lightly under your touch and you pulled away worried. “What’s wrong?” You tried to run your hand through Jim’s hair the way you knew he liked, but he took a step back from you. Your heart sunk.

“I haven’t seen you in days.” His voice was barely a whisper, eyes still focused on Kovas as if Jim didn’t want him to hear.

You laughed. “What are you talking about? We saw each other at breakfast.”

“And all you did was talk about this stupid bird.”

“He’s not stupid,” you snapped back. “Kovas is surprisingly intelligent and has shown an aptitude for-”

“This is what I’m talking about,” Jim interrupted again. “We never see each other anymore and when we do you’re always going on about this bird. I’m glad you’re happy. I’m glad you’re advancing your career, but I miss you.”

“I’m right here, Jim.”

“But you’re not.” Jim turned away from you, running his hands through his hair. “You know it was our anniversary yesterday? I cooked dinner.” You sighed, checking your watch to confirm the date. It couldn’t have possibly been your anniversary already. That was supposed to be weeks away.

“James...I am so sorry. I don’t know what happened. I just….I just lost track of time. I-I had a gift for you and everything. It was gonna be so romantic. God, I’m such a mess.” You ran your hands down your face, noticing for the first time how tired you felt. You could remember the last time you’d slept a full night period, let alone a full night in a bed.

“I have a gift for you, too.” Jim looked down as he fished around the pockets of his uniform pants. Whatever he pulled out, he kept closed tightly in a fist as he looked back up at you. “Our feathery friend aside, these past couple years have been the happiest of my life. I’ve been trying to come up with ways to show you how thankful I am, but I couldn’t get Bones to agree to starting a flash mob on one of the observation decks, so hopefully this will do.” Jim cleared his throat to keep his voice from shaking and slowly sank to the ground. Your heart leapt to your throat. “I thought exploring space was the greatest adventure, but it’s nothing compared to loving you. I want to spend the rest of my life waking up with you and having water balloon fights in the hallways and giving Bones’ gray hairs. You with me?” Jim opened his hand to reveal a ring that glittered under the fluorescent lab lights, and you couldn’t help but let out a squeal of excitement.

Nothing about this moment was how you’d pictured it. You thought Jim would propose over dinner. That you’d be in something nicer than a pair of old scrubs and a lab coat. He’d get down on one knee looking up at you with the same lopsided grin you fell in love with. Then, he’d stand and you’d pour all your love into that next kiss to let him know you felt it too. That he was safe with you and you were safe with him. You certainly didn’t expect to hear Kovas screeching as he lunged at Jim.

“Baby,” Kovas yelled, talons out, already tearing at Jim’s yellow shirt. “Don’t hurt my baby girl.” You sprang into action. Jim was on the ground, covering his head with his hands as Kovas snapped and tore at skin and clothing alike.  

You sprang into action and pulled Kovas off Jim as quickly as you could. He flapped against your clutches, eager to sink teeth and talons back into Jim as he chanted “jealous Jim” in something eerily similar to your own voice. You hissed at him to stop but he continued taunting Jim like a child on the playground.

“Get to Medbay,” you implored Jim. “I’ll join you in a second.” Jim slinked out the door, eyes never leaving Kovas. As soon as the doors to your lab slid closed, you let him go. Kovas danced around the floor chirping happily.

“Man who hurt you is gone. You're safe now.”

You crossed your arms and squeezed your eyes shut, reminding yourself that, despite his superior intelligence, Kovas was still just a bird - a young one at that. “Jim was not hurting me.” You said it as simply as you could to avoid any confusion.

“No,” Kovas responded shrilly. “Jim always want to take you away. Jim make you yell. Jealous Jim.”

“Jim doesn't want to hurt me,” you said, kneeling on the floor in front of Kovas. He was so big know you could almost meet his eyes at this height. “Jim wants to take care of me like I took care of you.”

Kovas cocked his head to the side, puzzled. “But who takes care of Kovas?”

You reached a hand out to stroke his cheek and he pushed his face against your hand, chirping happily. “You can take care of yourself. You're old enough. Don't you miss being around others like you? Your family?”

“You are family.”

“Jim is family,” you countered softly. Kovas looked away from you and hung his head, suddenly interested in preening the feathers on his wing. He seemed to understand the error in his thinking now.

“Kovas is sorry. Sorry to Jim.”

“Do you want to tell him?” Kovas bobbed his head eagerly and you couldn't help but smile, letting him jump on your shoulder even though he was getting too big for it.

Jim’s heart rate spiked on the biobed as you and Kovas entered. You’d only seen this kind of fear in his eyes a few times and never expected you would have anything to do it. You felt a pang of guilt for bringing Kovas on board, following by an even greater pang of guilt for wishing you hadn't, especially when Kovas so clearly needed you. It was a difficult situation to be in, but it was clear you’d come to the climax: let Kovas go or lose Jim.

Thankfully, Kovas made it easy. He jumped from your shoulder onto Jim’s bed. His large wingspan made Bones recoil and Jim sink further into the bed. Kovas took a few steps forward, lowering his head and tucking his wings back.

“Kovas is sorry, Captain.” His voice was low and serious, hanging in the air with such sorrow that you wanted to take him in your arms again. “Kovas only wanted to protect, babygirl.”

“That’s not her name,” Jim snapped.

You stepped forward and put a hand on his forearm. “It's what you call me. He thinks it's my name.” Jim rolled his eyes. Kovas started his apologies again.

“Kovas knows Jim is a nice Captain. A good captain. He is smart, kind, and has a good ass.” His voice took on a lilt like yours again as he continued and you covered your face with your hands, ears turning red. “Jim will take care of baby girl for Kovas, and Kovas will return home.”

Jim eyed Kovas warily, finally relaxing. “Can't argue with that.”

And so you found yourself yet again on the surface of Kovas’s home planet, knees against the lush Earth and arms clutching the feathered body in front of you. You wanted to remember every aspect of him from the hard feel of his feathers to the faint metallic smell they gave off. Kovas nipped at your hair, wanting to remember as deeply.

“I’ll miss you,” you whispered. It took every ounce of your concentration to keep from crying.

Kovas bumped his beak against your nose but turned away when he heard a bird call like his own. He called out to match it, spreading his giant wings and taking off while leaving you kneeling in the dirt behind him. You watched Kovas disappear into the trees before you finally stood.

Jim stepped towards you, one arm in a sling and the other going around your waist. He kissed the side of your head and nuzzled his nose against your ear. “I'm sorry you had to let him go.”

You shrugged. “I’m not. He has is family. I have mine.” You looked to Jim and he smiled.

“Your fine ass family.”

“Shut up,” you laughed, pushing him lightly.

“Ow,” Jim winced playfully, cradling his arm against his chest. You rolled your eyes. “What? You're not gonna kiss it better?” 

Tags:  @outside-the-government @martinawalker @thevalesofanduin @goingknowherewastaken @thefanficfaerie   @pabegay1 @brooke-taylor0323 @anotherotter @slither-in-a-half @cuddlememerrick  @8bit-arc-reactor @jimtkirkisabitch @sjlovestory @kristaparadowski 

[beefrobeefcal]

The Mouse Turned Little Bird feat. Frankie Morales, Ezra & f!reader

Summary: The lead up to dinner was stressful - but are you ready to take it further? Part 3 of There are Other Fish in the Sea

Pairing: Frankie, Ezra & Mouse | Rating: Explicit 18+ (MDNI) | Word Count: 2,052

Content Warnings: Kissing, mentions of food, overcooked salmon, unseasoned quinoa, wine, playing hooky from work, deep thoughts, deep feelings, Ezra being a patient wonderful human being, Ezra also has two arms (sorry for not mentioning that previously)

Author's Notes: Mouse is trying, y'all... she really wants to move on and get better, but as we all know, healing isn't linear.

Thank you to @strang3lov3 and @noxturnalpascal for brainstorming this with me, and to @bitchesuntitled, @mothandpidgeon and @neverwheremoonchildfor their eyes and love.

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You couldn’t sleep. 

Despite the initial joy you got from rebuffing Frankie and getting a yes from Ezra, you weren’t able to settle. The day’s events, while not enough to move mountains, had moved you a little farther on your path to…

Fuck.

You had no idea where this path was leading you or if there even was a path. Maybe you were lumbering through dense forest towards a chasm, or wandering aimlessly through a desert. Or maybe there was a path, but it was the wrong one and you were trudging to certain doom and not self discovery. 

The room was so quiet as you laid back and blinked in the dark, thoughts and worries swirling in your head as your heartbeat thrummed loudly in your ears. You felt guilty on top of the uncertainty. The guilt gnawed at you; Benny had opened up his home and put the relationship with his brother and his best friends below you and you felt that there was nothing you could do to repay him or even let him know how much you appreciated it. 

But there was something else, under that guilt, picking away the last bit of shrunken-in-the-night confidence you had left - regret.

Regret for denying Frankie the chance to show you he was a better man now and regret for perhaps moving on to Ezra too soon. What if Frankie was truly sorry? What if Ezra was no better? What if you still loved Frankie and you could never love Ezra?

Why the fuck am I thinking about loving Ezra? I wonder how big his dick is.

Your face skewed in shock at yourself. 

“I didn’t mean that.”, you hissed out in urgency, as if that would atone for the alleged sin of thinking about Ezra’s manhood. You paused, waiting to see if someone would answer then you furrowed your brow.

“Who the fuck am I talking to?”

*****

You’d taken a sick day since you got so little sleep, opting to stay in bed and mull over the irony of a sick day while you had a work-from-home job. After texting Benny to let him know, you tossed your phone down and rolled over.

There was a knock at your door, then it opened and cats came in, wailing their morning song, followed by Benny carrying two cups of coffee.

“So you’re moping.”

“M’not moping.”, you groaned into your pillow.

“Hey, man - I am all for taking advantage of sick days, but you’re not sick. You’re moping.”

Benny places the coffee cups on your bedside table and sat on the end of the bed, then laid back, his head on your blanketed calf.

You shifted your leg in irritation and huffed, and he in turn grabbed your ankle from under the blanket and tugged gently.

“Tell me again why I should go away and abandon you for a weekend?”

“Benny…”, you sighed.

“Just say the word, Mouse. I’ll stay.”

You said nothing because you knew your silence was enough of an answer.

You both laid there quietly for a period of time, the cats both joining you on the bed, and you were just about to lull off to the sound of Bagels purring as he rolled up in the crook of your neck when Benny spoke, the shit eating grin on his face apparent in his tone. 

“You’ve got a fuckin’ date tonight.”

*****

Benny left for work, taking his packed bag with him and said he would see you Sunday night, and you spent the day tidying up the apartment. Grocery shopping 2.0 was far more successful and you got the items you needed for making dinner.

You knew Ezra was not a vegan or vegetarian - based on his declared love of trying exotic meats on his travels, and you knew he did not like mashed potatoes, given the face he made when another patron at the bistro mentioned them and he responded with, “Solanum tuberosum was meant for roasting and nothing else, friend, Saying otherwise is an affront to nature herself.”

The memory made you smile, recalling how Ezra smirked and winked at you after you googled what a slolanim toobera som was and mouthed Potato? at him.

*****

You buzzed Ezra up to the apartment and nervously fixed your dress. You heard his footsteps in the hallway and preemptively opened the door. His hand was up, ready to knock, and his eyebrows were raised. You both look at each other, nervous excitement charged between you.

“You are an eager host, little bird.”

Even though you forgot the salt in the quinoa and the salmon was over cooked, Ezra never let on that there was anything wrong. He talked at length about him and his life, and repeatedly gave you the chance to step in and share, which you did albeit cautiously. His eyes never carried judgment - just curiosity, like the kind you might find in the eyes of someone trying to solve a riddle. And he didn’t prod too deeply, but  rewarded you with his smile when you did share.

“Any more family beyond Benny?”, he queried as he took a bite of very well done salmon.

“Benny has a brother, but he and I are… we’re not close.”

Ezra nods. “I, too, have family that I find associating with beyond my mother’s annual yule note to be grating.” He took a sip of wine. “Which is why I firmly believe in the family you make.”

You nodded and watched him. You wanted to know why he took such an interest with you. You’d wondered aloud to Benny once, asking if certain people were drawn to broken things and if so, was it because they wanted to take advantage of someone in a vulnerable state. Benny had smiled and responded with, “Some people are just tinkerers and want to help fix broken things.”

Benny’s words had reminded you of Frankie and his innate need to pull apart engines and electronics and rebuild them in a way he thought was better - like he wanted to control the make-up of the things around him and make them work better for him. Maybe even you fell under that banner.

Ezra didn’t seem like that. Less concerned with control, he was more of a poet: he watched and observed and made commentary. He seemed to be more along the lines of ‘let the pieces fall where they may’ and that is what drew you to him. But what was it about you?

“How long have you lived with Ben - “

“What’s the catch?”

He raised his brows at you and put his wine glass down, huffing a chuckle. “Catch?”

You nodded, grinning slightly and leaning in. “You said yes to coming for dinner after I left you in a panic. I’m just curious.”

He sucked his teeth a bit and sat back, crossing his arms. 

“You looked lost when you darkened my doorway the first time.” Looking you over, he seemed to be contemplating how to answer. “You seemed to find yourself a little more each time you sat across the bartop from me. And the more I saw of that little bird, the more I wanted to know why she could not fly.”

Your question was answered.

*****

After the table was cleared, you stood in front of the kitchen sink, rinsing the dishes before loading them into the dishwasher.

“Mouse.”, he murmured softly.

You looked up at him, but he wasn’t looking at you. He was looking at a picture on the fridge - the one that was torn in half, its partner probably thrown out or burned. It was you and Benny from a few years ago, both wearing shirts with your names crudely spray painted across them. The other side of the picture that held Will, Santi, Hannah and Frankie was left behind in your old home.

Ezra kept his eyes trained on you in the photo, leaning in, and his index finger gently grazed the torn, ragged edge. You swallowed, wondering if his mind was trying to imagine what the missing piece held that rendered it unwanted, and solve another riddle you had set out for him. The longer he stayed quiet, the more fidgety and anxious you felt.

“I assumed Mouse was a pet name reserved only for those in your inner circle.”, he mused softly, taking one last look at the photo before turning to you with a lopsided smile. “You prefer Mouse or…”

You let go of the breath you were holding with a nod, relief washing over you. You moved toward him in a few small, slow steps. “Uh - Mouse was a nickname from when I was a kid that stuck. I- uh, didn’t really have a say. I… I kinda like Little Bird - but you can call me Mouse. Whatever you want.”

The nervous, forced titter of a laugh that you ended with made his eyes soften. Ezra nodded, turning his body towards you. He grinned, giving you a flash of his gold tooth. “Then I dub thee Little Bird.”

****

“... and I made Benny swear that he’d go to his grave with it, but I’m sure my mom knew something was up - how could she not?”

Ezra’s eyes creased as he laughed. “You are as devious as you are beautiful.”

As you sat on the couch, turned towards one another, both nursing a second glass of red wine. God, you wanted to kiss him. That freckle on his neck, the dimple on his cheek… you imagined kissing him and running your tongue over the golden tooth in his mouth. His fingers played the sleeve of your shirt and his eyes softened and darted to your lips and back up.  His jaw ticked as if he were weighing his options and deciding on his next move, seemingly thinking the same thing as you were.

“A conundrum you are, Little Bird.” His voice was so soft, yet it held so much power. “Sublime, soft, sweet, vexxed - but wounded.”

Your face heated up and you looked down at your glass of wine, clutched in your hand. You mulled over how much to share with him; you didn’t want to scare Ezra away, but you felt he deserved to know at least something about where you had come from.

“The last guy I was with… He and I had- well, we ended things at a low point… badly.”

He shook his head, hushing you. “You don’t have to tell me if you’re - “

“He had issues and I couldn’t- didn’t help. Communication was not his strong suit and eventually, it felt like I didn’t know him anymore. And… he hurt- we hurt each other. A lot. And he cheated on me.”

Raising your gaze, you looked at him, cautiously, waiting for the fallout. Instead you met with Ezra leaning in, taking your wine glass and putting it aside, and pressing a soft kiss to your lips. He lingered there for a moment. As he moved to pull away your hand came up to his face, silently begging him to not stop. He pushed in further, running his tongue along your bottom lip, and you opened your mouth. It was nothing like you imagined; for the last six years, you’d only ever kissed Frankie and his kiss was dominant and forceful, like a freight train. Ezra though - his unfolded like a slow, enchanting dance. There was nothing rushed and you felt as though you were falling hard for him.

It was too soon. Too fast. You barely knew him outside of the almost two months you’d spent sitting at the bar and tonight’s dinner. Your mind began to panic, racing with the thought of Frankie’s crestfallen face as you rejected him and now you were kissing another man so soon after.

You parted from him, clenching your eyes and you rested your forehead against his. His large hand held your jaw, his thumb soothing over your cheek and murmured, “Little Bird…”

Sitting back, you felt foolish and vulnerable, but you forced yourself to speak.

"I... I don't think I'm ready. Ezra, I - I'm sorry." He took your hand in his and rubbed his thumb along the grooves in your palm. 

"You'll take flight again, Little Bird. And when you're ready, I'll be there to help open your cage."

Oh fuck me. 

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[insomniasbitch]

Utopia is for lovers - @DavidCallum  @JackDanielsTB @WritesScott and @DrPhilipByrne

It had taken months of searching, but when Mel and Annabeth had found the home, they knew it was the one, at least Mel did. The home meant to house them all, where they could all be a family, live and love together. Ten bedrooms on fifteen acres of land; the property boasted a pool, hot tub, a giant kitchen. There were a few little cabins dotting the property. A guest house by the pool. There was little the place didn't offer. The woods surrounding the house on one side offered winding paths to walk that led out to swamp land. The pond had a dock with a little boat tied to the side, though it had no lake monster. Dave had to make due with the fairly large catfish rumored to live down deep.

The muse had teamed up with Annabeth, scouring listings and looking at properties that weren't even for sale until they'd come upon this house. It had once been a school for girls a little more than a century ago, and had gone through many changes since. A bed and breakfast had been it's last iteration, the owners falling on hard times, but not hard enough to have put the place on the market. Then charming Mel had made them an offer, an offer which they had taken after a couple of nights sleeping on it. Once her offer was accepted, Mel went about upgrading a few things, making the place work for her people, while Annabeth still wondered what the muse was on about, why she needed a house so big for her, Scott, and the two children he'd had with his ex-wife. Shades on the windows. A fresh, neutral coat of paint. A very upgraded kitchen. An added hot tub, with cushions all around the space. It had everything they needed. The peak of luxury.

Once it was done, Mel sent out the invitations. Dave and Alyx RSVP'd quickly. Pip and Anna followed soon after. Jack and Lacey, probably confused by it, were the last to follow suit, but even they couldn't resist the allure of whatever announcement Mel was planning to make. Scott simply went along with Mel, not sure exactly what she was up to, but it couldn't hurt anything, not when it made her happy.

The night of her dinner party arrived and Mel looked like an angel in white and silver when she descended the stairs to meet Scott. He kissed her as the doorbell rang and she hurried out to let in the first of their guests; Pip and Anna. “Don't you two just look lovely and in love...” she said, kissing each of their cheeks before leading them to the drawing room where she'd set up hors d'oeuvres and champagne. “Have at it, kids. I had—And there's the bell again.” A quick kiss blown to the couple and her husband, and she was off, answering the door once more. This time for Dave and Alyx, the redhead looking tired, but that was to be expected with a newborn in the house.

“My poor love, come in, you two. Sit down, put your feet up. Dave, you'll get some food and a drink for our Alyx,” Mel cooed over the pair, leading them in to join Pip and Anna who were chatting with Scott and nibbling their canapes. “I've got a few special things for you, Dave.” Her hand, nails painted something opalescent, waved to the table off to the side, filled with red snacks that were vampire-friendly. “Ah, there's the last of us...” she muttered to herself, leaving a rather whammied looking Dave and Alyx behind to answer the front door again. The baker did sit, with Dave hurrying to serve her a drink and a plate full of delights.

“Mel knows how to throw a party,” Alyx huffed into her champagne, eager to go back home to her new daughter and her older children, and maybe her bed.

Mel returned, Lacey and Jack in tow, much to the displeasure of  half of the other two couples. Pip and Dave wanted to kill and/or hit Jack, while Anna and Alyx had nothing but loathing or fear of Lacey.

“I see you're all surprised by the last of us to join in this little party, but I promise, you'll all have answers before dessert, which is bananas foster by the way, and you'll all be quite happy with my proposal, I think. Jack, Lacey, serve yourselves a little snack, have a drink, I've got to check on dinner.” With that, the muse left them to their own devices, hurrying off in a flurry of white and silver to the kitchen, her heels echoing through the large home.

“Okay, but what the fuck? Proposal?” Lacey asked the room at large, hitting up the vampire refreshment table for a glass of blood with a warm, spicy citrus scent coming from it. “I'm not the only one wondering why she invited us, am I?” she asked, turning back to the group, two fifths of which was giving her unhappy glares. “I never met her until I had sex with her, so yeah, this is weird.

Dave's eyes rolled and he reached out to tug a lock of Lacey's hair, a glass of blood in his free hand. “I've learned not to question Mel. She's always got her reasons, and she'll let us know when she lets us know.” His gaze cut to Scott, easily the quietest member of their group, who nodded with a bit of a grin on his face. He may not know what was up, but he knew that it likely would cause a stir between all the people in this room, Mel was good at that.

Jack had gotten a drink and drained it, avoiding looking towards Philip and Annabeth who were still next to Scott, drinks forgotten in their hands as they tried to make sense of Mel's invitation, and keeping silent about the new guests. Anna knew more than the rest, though still wasn't sure of Mel's endgame. Jack was unhappy, dark circles beneath his eyes. His partner had spent fewer and fewer nights in Louisiana since officially moving in with the doctor, as he had predicted when she'd told him her plan to relocate to Chicago. It was wearing on him, the certainty that soon enough she would cease coming back to Louisiana at all, leaving him and their relationship behind.

Anna, for all that, hadn't meant for it to happen that way. Philip simply was spending more nights home, planning things to keep the pair of them busy. Too busy for her to spend many nights down south.

Philip had meant for that to be the case, schemed it. He wanted to keep Anna from the south, convince her to work in Chicago, leave behind Jack. Eventually, he wanted her to forget the other man and commit to only him. Then he'd think about locking it down, as Alyx always said. He did feel a pretty heaping dose of guilt about that manipulation though. He was too sweet.

Alyx sighed into her plate of shrimp and bacon. “She's probably going to tell us she's moving closer... Which, I love the idea...” She just worried it was because of her little girl and the fact that they had yet to do the testing that would say which man was the father. And she would avoid doing that testing for as long as she could. “Are you moving here, Scott?” she asked, not looking up.

He shrugged, not looking her way. Everyone was a little more awkward with her now, since she'd dropped the baby bomb. “I have no idea, she's kept me as in the dark as the rest of you.”

Anna cleared her throat. “She bought this place. A few weeks ago. Remodeled it.” Quiet as a mouse, she looked away and shut up after dropping her information, not comfortable with everyone's eyes being on her.

Mel returned just then, a smile on her face. “Come, come. Sit down, everyone. We've got dinner for you and Lacey too, Dave. Don't worry. I wouldn't let you guys starve...” Mel lead everyone to the dining room, her arm threaded through Scott's. “Love you, husband. You look great tonight, by the way...” Mel gave him a kiss, a smile, all beaming with pride at her stroke of genius. She was going to make them see the light, they would all be happy once they came around. Persuasion was her super power.

Everyone sat down, wine was poured, dinner served and enjoyed by all. The vampires had blood treats, the humans drank wine, everyone loosened up slightly, though still they waited for Mel's news. Or maybe she just missed them all and wanted a night together. She enjoyed them all being together, liked when she could drink and laugh, bask in the affection of her friends and husband. And girlfriend. Plates cleared. Wine refilled. Dessert on it's way. Mel stood once more and waved a hand.

“You're all curious why I've brought you here, sorry about the secrecy, but I wanted to liquor you up a little before I told you my idea. It's brilliant, if I do say so.” She laughed softly. “Because we have a problem. Sort of. You guys, I love or like all of you, I care about you all, but your love lives are a little bit messy. A lot messy. There's been hatred and worse between some of you, but... there's love too. You all are connected. From a maker bond to simply friendship to making a family... We're connected, one way or another and being apart is killing you all. Every one of you.” She smiled sadly, eyes meeting everyone at least once, watching them take in her words. Some, like Lacey, looked angry and confused. Others whammied. Scott just smiled. “So, I've got an idea. A way for us all to be able to get together and be happy... I figure half of you are going to call me crazy. You might walk out. Or you might be amenable to the idea, but just.. hear me out, guys. I've got an idea that will make things easier on us. On you.”

Mel took a deep breath and let it out. “I bought this house, it has a ton of room, there's a few small cabins around. A pond. Woods. A kitchen that is state of the art. I want us all to live here, together, all of us. The kids. Everyone. Like a commune. Happy. Together. No one fighting. Everyone able to live and love together.”

Her eyes cut around the room. Watching reactions. Listening to the shouts. The arguments. And she shot every one down. Resisted their resistance. Plied them with more wine. Wore them down.

She got her way in the end.

Scott and Mel were the first to move in, taking the guest house out back by the pool for her, Scott, and the kids. Abi was not so happy with her father's move, but she fell for the giant pool when she saw it. And Scarlett when they met later. The little girl looked up to the older one with an almost hero-like worship. Jude and Sammie became fast friends, with lots of groaning when the younger Wes and Daniel would follow them like puppies. All of the kids were getting along, which pleased Mel as she watched them from the window of the guest house, Scott's arm wound around her, all playing in the pool while the adults unpacked and settled into their new home. She was glad that everyone had given in, even if it had taken over a month of back and forth for it to happen.

She was far too used to getting her own way, it would have wrecked her to have them turn her down in the end.

Jack and Lacey shared one of the cabins with their son, the place outfitted with shades in the larger bedroom and a small kitchen. Wes was pleased. It was like camping. They had downsized quite a bit in the packing process, though the big house had everything they could possibly need. Including a chef for dinner time if no one else was up for cooking. That was going to be handy. Carol had her own small cabin, just a short walk from the Daniels', so Wes kept his grandmotherly nanny, and she had a few more kids that she could look after and coo over now that Wes was growing up.

Night fell before Lacey could help unpack, of course, but once she joined in, Jack and her had the house in order fairly quickly. She was best at moving the heavy furniture into the correct place, which the mover had done a piss poor job of following her directions. She wanted to eat them, if she was honest, but would refrain. “Okay, but... this is weird, right?” she asked Jack after they'd gotten Wes' room together and tucked him in, letting him forgo a bath since he was so tired, the scent of the pool clinging to him and making Lacey wrinkle her nose even with the door closed. “We're all supposed to just... get along just because she said so?”

“...Do you want to disappoint her?” Jack asked, his brows raising at his wife while he poured a drink.

“No, but that's part of the problem isn't it? That none of us want to upset her so much that we're setting aside homicide level differences to make her happy? What kind of magical being is she?”

“A muse. AB told me.” And he felt like an ass talking about the other woman he loved with his wife, but as the woman was going to be kind of living with them, they needed to all get used to it. She shared a room at the big house with Philip. It still stung, okay, burned, to see the two of them together and happy, but he had to get over it. Get over a lot of things, if he was going to find any chance at happiness. Depression had wedged between him and Lacey over the years, depression, hurt, and mutual cheating. “Some sort of immortal that inspires. She inspires us all to get along.”

Lacey nodded, heaved a wholly unnecessary sigh, and got up to slide an arm around Jack, leaning her body into his for warmth and comfort. “Do you think it'll work? Or will we all kill each other?”

Jack turned to kiss her. “I just don't know.”

She had hopes, lots of them, but didn't count on any of it really working. Lacey thought she might wind up murdering AB. Or Alyx. Though, if she was honest with herself, she had felt less and less resentment towards the women over the years. Growing up, maybe, or just used to being messy. Either way, they would try this out, this experiment.

At the big house, Alyx, Dave, Pip, and Anna were the ones settling in. Anna had come to help take care of the baby, she couldn't get enough of her chubby cheeks, while Alyx rested. She'd looked pale, circles under her eyes. The move and probably being not so well rested had taken a toll on the baker, one that Anna was all too eager to help reduce. Cooing to the baby while curled up in a rocker with her, Anna listened to Dave and Pip shoving furniture around and unpack boxes.

Alyx sat, feet up, eyes closed; listening to the men moving furniture and Anna's cooing at the baby. A smile softened her face, her body relaxed. Her mind followed her body and turned content. This was good, this move, she thought. If only because she'd have help during the day and there was an actual nanny. Carol. And Mel had offered to hire another one. They had enough kids that she felt like it was justified. Alyx could sleep. Rest. She had been so tired up until today, when she should be unpacking, but here she was with her feet up letting everyone else do the work while she relaxed.

Dozing happened.

Anna carried the baby, all sweet and warm, into the room where Dave and Philip were attempting to put together a set of bunk beds for the boys, making her snort at the pair of them. They bickered like brothers, and every time it made her smile. The little pink bundle in her arms was waving her fists and she glanced at Dave. “Bottles in the fridge or...?” she asked, brows raised. One hand reached down to brush through Philip's hair.

“Mhmm. And diaper bag's in the other bedroom, in her crib if she needs a change.” Dave stood, coming over to kiss the baby, and Anna, on their foreheads. “Just warm the bottle up in hot water.”

She cocked her head and rolled her eyes at him.

Dave raised his hands and chuckled, moving back to working on the bunk bed. “You knew that. I get it. Sorry.”

“I did know that. Say by to Daddy and Uncle Pip, little girl. We're gonna get you dry and fed, promise.” She waved the baby's hand at the men.

Anna stuck her tongue out and left, still cooing at the little girl, all through changing her and getting her bottle warm. Sure, she still had those kidnapping and running off with her thoughts, because she wanted a baby, a family, more than she wanted anything else, but this was nice, helping to care for the little one. There was hope, one day, that she'd get to have her own little one to hold and rock to sleep. She curled up on the sofa with her to feed the little one, sing little lullabies to her. The bluest eyes Anna had ever seen. Well. Almost. They'd all had moments, searching the squishy baby features, matching the little one's to the men who might be her father. Anna thought Jack, because of the eyes. She didn't say so out loud, none of them did because it upset Alyx when they mentioned it. It was the one topic that none of them would really touch on. It was also one of the biggest draws that decided everyone to moving onto the commune; No one wanted to be a father except for Dave, and no one wanted to leave the kid alone in case it happened to be theirs.

Best of both worlds.

They'd been living together for a while. A couple months. It was still so hot you could fry an egg on the sidewalk during the day still, but nights were nice enough now that they'd gotten into late summer. The kids were tired, day camp left them worn thin, and watched a movie in the big living room of the house. Alyx put the baby down until her next feeding. It was a good night. Mel turned music on, out by the pool, and convinced Scott to come dance with her in the low light thrown from under the water.

“You happy here?” she asked, nuzzling her lips over his neck, pressed close.

“Wherever you are, I'm happy.”

The sweetest words ever, she thought, swaying gently with him. Less dancing and just being close, enjoying the low music, the night sounds, and his company.  

The French doors opened and Philip drifted out with Anna following behind, their fingers laced together. Mel waved the pair of them over, staying close against Scott. Philip sat on a lounge, Anna nestled between his legs, looking more relaxed than they had in a while.

“You guys look cozy,” Mel remarked, staying close to Scott.

“We are.” Philip wrapped Anna in his arms, pulling her back against his chest.

Dave and Alyx drifted out soon after.

“You guys having a party without us?” he asked, sliding an arm around his wife to bring her closer to his side. She smiled up at him and tugged him over near Mel and Scott.

“Dance with me.” Not much of an asker, she just held her arms out to him and Dave stepped up, winding his arms around her to spin her over the stones surrounding the pool.

“Show off, always the show off,” Pip called, comfortable with his fingers playing through Anna's hair, relaxing her until she closed her eyes.  

“Someone must have two left feet if they're scared to bring their girl out to dance. Or is it you just don't want shown up by the immortals?” Alyx teased, breathless after that spin Dave had taken her on.

“Pip's a lovely dancer. Always has been. He might just be tuckered out though, Alyx.” Mel kissed Scott's cheek and pulled back, tugging Alyx over to her for a dance. The redhead laughed, spinning once more for Mel. “He worked all day.”

Dave glanced into the dark once his wife had been taken by her girlfriend, listening to Lacey and Jack, crossing the grass and entering the light cast around the pool.

“Thought I heard music over here. We were coming to check on Wes...” Lacey was eyeing the humans, and the not so human, gathered around, her gaze falling on Dave. She grinned in his direction.

Philip had gotten up, eyes on Jack for a long moment, before he tapped Alyx's shoulder. “May I cut in?” he asked. She nodded and stepped back so he could take over dancing with Mel.

Alyx drifted to Scott and grinned, offering her hand to him. “Can't let them have all the fun...”

The pair of them drifted slowly around the pool, maybe a little awkwardly since they were still not sure where they stood after the whole baby thing, even if they were living together. “You're a saint, putting up with all of us,” Alyx murmured, glancing up at Scott.

“I just follow her lead,” he replied, shuffling over the stones with her held a few inches away. No point in making the vampire grouchy. Again. “You aren't such bad housemates though. And it makes her happy,” Scott said, glancing towards Philip and Mel, laughing through their dance.

Lacey had come and leaned her shoulder into Dave's side, eyes closed to simply enjoy his nearness. If any good came of this move, it was that he was so close constantly that she didn't feel that sliver of anxiety that she could often feel when he wasn't close. Dave wrapped his arm around her, pulling her closer, contentment radiating through their shared bond.

“You're not making me dance, are you?” he huffed, eyes across the pool where Jack was nearing Anna. Dave didn't trust him with his bondeds. Any of them. Though he realized that maybe the whole murder thing was less murder and more of an accident. Maturity. Or maybe it was all that contentment. Maybe it was just the effect that Mel had on them all, making them get along. Were muses part faery, he wondered. She smelled great. A thought for another time.

A smirk curled Lacey's lips. “...You know I am. C'mon, Davey. Show me those moves.” She tugged him up and out towards the other two couples, wrapping her arms around his neck a la middle school dance. “Or just kinda sway like a buoy in the lake. That works too,” she teased.

He growled and spun her around, ending it by dipping her back until Lacey was poised over the edge of the pool, the ends of her hair wet in the water. “I could do it, woman. Don't tempt me.” Dave only pulled her up when she laughed and grabbed hold of his arms.

Across the way, Anna was smiling up at Jack, lifting her hand to clasp his. “Missed you,” she whispered, letting him pull her up so he could brush a kiss over her cheek. “Dance with me, Jack?” She was a little envious of everyone else's good time, she wanted to dance too.

“Anytime...” he said, pulling her over close so that he could sway to the music, watch her smiling up at him.

Alyx swapped with Mel again, ending up with Philip this time, and teasing him about how he was the puppy of the group. Mel was back with Scott, not dancing anymore, simply standing back to watch them all with her husband's arms wound around her waist. They looked happy, all of them. No one was fighting. Laughter drowned out the music half the time. This was exactly what she'd wanted, to see them all living happily ever after. Not the most conventional living arrangement, but maybe it should be. Tipping her head back, Mel grinned at Scott. “Thank you for going along with all my crazy. And for being the best husband I could ever ask for.” He just held her tighter, kissed the top of her head, and took Mel to sit on a lounger, watching their friends, their loved ones, while they learned how to live together.

[sorayahigashikata]

Chapter 81: "You snooze, you lose."

[gta-5-cheats]

Truepic raises $8M to expose Deepfakes, verify photos for Reddit

New Post has been published on http://secondcovers.com/truepic-raises-8m-to-expose-deepfakes-verify-photos-for-reddit/

Truepic raises $8M to expose Deepfakes, verify photos for Reddit

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How can you be sure an image wasn’t Photoshopped? Make sure it was shot with Truepic. This startup makes a camera feature that shoots photos and adds a watermark URL leading to a copy of the image it saves, so viewers can compare them to ensure the version they’re seeing hasn’t been altered.

Now Truepic’s technology is getting its most important deployment yet as one way Reddit will verify that Ask Me Anything Q&As are being conducted live by the actual person advertised — oftentimes a celebrity. [Update: Though to be clear, there’s no Reddit -wide or corporate partnership here. Reddit’s independent R/iAMA subreddit moderators have opted to suggest people use Truepic.]

But beyond its utility for verifying AMAs, dating profiles and peer-to-peer e-commerce listings, Truepic is tackling its biggest challenge yet: identifying artificial intelligence-generated Deepfakes. These are where AI convincingly replaces the face of a person in a video with someone else’s. Right now the technology is being used to create fake pornography combining an adult film star’s body with an innocent celebrity’s face without their consent. But the big concern is that it could be used to impersonate politicians and make them appear to say or do things they haven’t.

The need for ways to weed out Deepfakes has attracted a new $8 million round for Truepic. The cash comes from untraditional startup investors, including Dowling Capital Partners, former Thomson Financial (which become Reuters) CEO Jeffrey Parker, Harvard Business school professor William Sahlman and more. The Series A brings Truepic to $10.5 million in funding.

“We started Truepic long before manipulated images impacted democratic elections across the globe, digital evidence of atrocities and human rights abuses were regularly undermined, or online identities were fabricated to advance political agendas — but now we fully recognize its impact on society,” says Truepic founder and COO Craig Stack. “The world needs the Truepic technology to help right the wrongs that have been created by the abuse of digital imagery.”

Here’s how Truepic works:

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Snap a photo in Truepic’s iOS and Android app, or an app that’s paid to embed its SDK in their own app

Truepic verifies the image hasn’t been altered already, and watermarks it with a time stamp, geocode, URL and other metadata

Truepic’s secure servers store a version of the photo, assigned with a six-digit code and its URL, plus a spot on an immutable blockchain

Users can post their Truepic in apps to prove they’re not catfishing someone on a dating site, selling something broken on an e-commerce site, or elsewhere

Viewers can visit the URL watermarked onto the photo to compare it to the vault-saved version to ensure it hasn’t been modified after the fact

For example, the r/iAMA Wiki recommends that AMA creators use the Truepic app to snap a photo of them holding a handwritten sign with their name and the date on it. “Truepic’s technology allows us to quickly and safely verify the identity and claims for some of our most eccentric guests,” says Reddit AMA moderator and Lynch LLP intellectual property attorney Brian Lynch. “Truepic is a perfect tool for the ever-evolving geography of privacy laws and social constructs across the internet.”

The abuses of image manipulation are evolving, too. Deepfakes could embarrass celebrities… or start a war. “We will be investing in offline image and video analysis and already have identified some subtle forensic techniques we can use to detect forgeries like deepfakes,” Truepic CEO Jeff McGregor tells me. “In particular, one can analyze hair, ears, reflectivity of eyes and other details that are nearly impossible to render true-to-life across the thousands of frames of a typical video. Identifying even a few frames that are fake is enough to declare a video fake.”

This will always be a cat and mouse game, but from newsrooms to video platforms, Truepic’s technology could keep content creators honest. The startup has also begun partnering with NGOs like the Syrian American Medical Society to help it deliver verified documentation of atrocities in the country’s conflict zone. The Human Rights Foundation also trained humanitarian leaders on how to use Truepic at the 2018 Freedom Forum in Oslo.

Throwing shade at Facebook, McGregor concludes that “The internet has quickly become a dumpster fire of disinformation. Fraudsters have taken full advantage of unsuspecting consumers and social platforms facilitate the swift spread of false narratives, leaving over 3.2 billion people on the internet to make self-determinations over what’s trustworthy vs. fake online… we intend to fix that by bringing a layer of trust back to the internet.”

[thecreatorformula]

Josh Rouse: Berkeley Mouse Tail brings in big trout full of eggs

After getting mostly skunked last week while trout fishing at Lake Shawnee, I was determined to come back this week and get a nice one.

I picked up some Berkeley PowerBait Floating Mice Tails and a couple of Rooster Tails and headed down to the south side of the lake to see if a change in scenery would improve my odds. Little did I know that everyone and their dog would be out at the lake that day, and when some kids started throwing rocks in the water at my first spot, I decided it was time for a move. I don’t know how much it affects the fish bite, but it can’t help.

I moved up and down the west side of the lake looking for a good spot. Eventually, I settled again on the heated dock. I fished a deep worm below a big school of shad hoping to get a bite from a crappie or catfish, while I drifted a Mouse Tail about a foot and a half under a crappie float on a small jighead. A lot of people have questions about how to rig a Mouse Tail, and the general consensus I find is that you just hook it through the PowerBait ball connected to the long rubbery tail and use it however you want to fish — floating, drop shot, under a bobber, etc.

The shad were all over the place, and I could sit there and watch them pop up at the surface inside the dock. I had a couple hits on my worm early, but when I went to set the hook I got snagged up on the structure below the dock.

My light crappie bobber then started to bounce as another angler, Richard Cooley, came in. It turns out that Richard, who was fishing for crappie, knows my dad and my uncle Dan. Dad says he used to race street stocks and hobby stocks against him at Topeka Raceway, Junction City Raceway and a couple other spots, and they bowled together in a league years ago.

As the float with the Mouse Tail kept bobbing, I figured it was a shad or small bluegill that was grabbing the tail. However, it eventually went all the way under for several seconds. I set the hook and was shocked when my rod bent in double, and soon I saw the giant side slab of a big, beautiful female rainbow trout.

It wasn’t quite as long as the one that got away earlier in the year at the heated dock — though it was just under the 20-inch Kansas Master Angler Award size at 19.5 inches — but it had incredible girth. The side of the trout was about the size of my hand.

As I got down on my belly with a grabber claw that I had purchased after the last trout got away, it took me several minutes just to get the trout corralled. Every time it got close to the side of the dock, it would slam its powerful tail and take off on a run again. Richard offered me a net, but I let the trout wear herself out and finally grabbed it by the mouth.

I took her to my Grandma Rouse’s house to clean outside with my electric fillet knife and was shocked by all the eggs she had inside her when I cut off the first fillet.

I thought she might be pregnant because of her girth and a protrusion near her anal fin, but this confirmed it. There were literally hundreds of eggs, if not more. I got a Ziplock baggie and put them in there to use as bait later — they’re very similar to salmon eggs, which are sold in small jars as trout bait.

If it were a natural-born fish in Lake Shawnee, I likely would have released her back into the water to lay her eggs, but the rainbow trout are stocked in the fall and spring and are said to mostly die off in the summer, so I wasn’t too worried about her offspring being released.

I got two giant fillets out of her, each about the size of a side of salmon like you’d see at a nice restaurant.

As a side note, spoonbill (also known as paddlefish) snagging season began Thursday and will continue until May 15, and trout anglers have until April 15 to catch their haul of rainbow trout, though the state has been known to allow all anglers to keep trout after the season since they die out anyway.

The youth spring turkey season begins April 1 and runs through April 17. Adult hunters can take turkeys with bow and arrow beginning April 9, and the regular spring turkey season (firearm/archery) runs April 18 through May 31.

I look forward to seeing a bunch of turkey photos from my readers this spring, as well as fishing photos. Speaking of which, Patricia Mellard sent a couple of photos she snapped of a nice bass she caught in a pond near Wakarusa on March 3.

She said she was using a 3-inch smelt Berkley grub — her go-to bait.

Congrats on the nice fish, and I look forward to seeing more fishing photos from readers as the season progresses.

Dale Hossfeld, of Topeka, also sent a bunch of interesting trail camera videos from the woods near his home. Included in the videos were coyotes, a raccoon and a skunk getting in a fight and several bobcat videos. They will be posted on the online version of this story.

ARCHERY EVENTS ON TAP — Topeka Bowhunters recently announced its 2018 shoot schedule.

Each event will include 40 3D targets and starts at 8 a.m. at S.E. 37th and Ratner Road. Cost of registration will be $12 per person.

The next event will be April 7, followed by shoots on May 5, June 2, Aug. 4-5 and the Chili shoot on Dec. 1, which will include lunch.

For more information, contact Gary at (785) 246-4033.

The Kansas Secretary of State’s Office will host its eighth annual Ad Astra Youth Archery Tournament on April 21 at MacLennan Park. Students grades kindergarten through 12 can participate in the event.

The event will include a fishing clinic, instructional area and a demonstration on how to make your own arrows.

Registration is due by April 6 to guarantee your receive a T-shirt in your size. You can register online at https://tinyurl.com/y7dj69yw/.

AQUATIC EDUCATION DAY SLATED — On April 21, the Emporia chapter of Fishing’s Future will host its second annual Aquatic Education Day at the Marina Cove at Council Grove Reservoir.

The event will teach kids about water safety and fishing. It will take place from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. and will be sponsored by Fishing’s Future and the Kansas Department of Wildlife, Parks and Tourism’s Fish KS.

For more information, contact the Council Grove Marina or Phil Taunton at outdoors@kvoe.com.

COMMISSION MEETING AHEAD IN TOPEKA — The Kansas Wildlife, Parks and Tourism Commission will hold its next public meeting March 22 at the Kansas Historical Society History Center, 6425 S.W. 6th Ave. in Topeka.

The afternoon session will begin at 1 p.m. and recess at 5 p.m.. The evening session will then convene at 6:30 p.m. Discussions will focus on webless migratory birds, waterfowl regulations, deer seasons on Fort Riley, public lands regulations and antelope and deer regulations.

The commission will vote on the 2018-19 Kansas deer seasons during the evening session and hear Secretary’s Orders on deer permit numbers.

Live video and audio will be available online at http://www.ksoutdoors.com.

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[mycatwontlikeyou]

carrie bradshaw would have died alone in 2017.

so you’re single. and it’s fine, you’re fine - it’s fine. your smartphone is the entry to the dating world, or so they say. you’ll be fine.

you cried over a breakup, you burned sage all over your apartment, you pretended yoga was relaxing, you’ve eaten pints on pints of ben & jerry’s, and now you’re ready to run head first into the dating world. it’s fine.

STEP ONE: Download dating app. Wait, which app?

Tinder? No, don’t people only meet up to have sex on that? Too aggressive. Toe in the water - not trying to dive into a shallow pond and break my neck.

Bumble? Okay, bees are cute so Bumble it is. But then I have to say hello (girls have to initiate on Bumble). I can’t say hello, my self-confidence doesn’t exist anymore. It’s smashed to smithereens. Deader than the dinosaurs - that’s out.

Coffee Meets Bagel? I’m gluten free (duh).

Hinge? I don’t think anyone has been violently murdered on a Hinge date so, let’s download this one.

Wait, but what about The League? Nice try – there’s a three month waiting list to go on one shitty date that will go horribly. So horribly, in fact, that you’ll go home drunk, crying, snort some anxiety meds, and end up texting your ex.

STEP TWO: Hinge is downloaded – “create a profile.” But there are unspoken dating rules to said profile.  You can’t have too many groups shots (because how will Prince Charming know who you are?), you can’t have too many selfies (because you aren’t Kylie Jenner), oh and for sure don’t put up anything before college (because then you’re catfishing).

How many different filters can I use to make to a picture to look remotely presentable?  One of me on a night out (I don’t go out – who am I kidding), one with less of a smokey eye that looks like I’m asking for it, and maybe one without a pet.

What do I like? Um…I like my cats (cats plural)…nope. That won’t work. Red flag.  Oh, I’m actually really into murder. Nope, not a great first impression. 

What would Carrie Bradshaw have put?

“My name is Carrie and I’m into shoes I can in no way realistically afford, writing a column in a newspaper that doesn’t exist anymore, and living in a large apartment in New York City where I have only ever seen one mouse.”

You know what? Fuck it. I’ll get a third cat, maybe a fourth, and die alone. This is fine. I’m fine.

[lipwak]

VHS #315

(T 160)

Connecticut and the Sea, MTV Real World - New Orleans, POV - KPFA, 2 Streetcar Named Desire excerpts, Dolly Curtis (local cable show) - The Merritt Parkway, Denis Elsas at FUV on Gotham TV, Fairport Convention - Beyond the Ledge (Cropody, 1998), Television: The first 50 years, CMT The Bluegrass Sound, Tom Jones - For One Night Only.

***

Connecticut and the Sea 1 & 1/2 hrs Narrated by Walter Cronkite CPTV

Read the whole transcript here: http://www.simonpure.com/sea.htm See an excerpt here: https://youtu.be/2rh0qgKCqB0

Native Americans and the Sea, wampum, Caribbean trade, rum trade, Coit house, New London, shipbuilding, clipper ship era lasted 10 years, privateers, Coast Guard Academy, War of 1812, Battle of Stonington, the Monitor and other ironclad naval vessels, Bushnell, the Turtle, submarines, the Nautilus, rope walk in New London, guano trade, kidnapped Chinese used, seal trade lasted about 10 years, whaling, elephant sealing, Inuits, footage of crew on square rigger, menhaden (porgy, bunker) fishing, Moodus twine, quarrying, brownstone in NYC from Portland, Noank lobstering, Portuguese tradition, (Forebiter song), Terry Backer Soundkeeper, Gov Rowland, oysters, Norwalk, Tallmadge Brothers, ports - lumber, oil and bananas!, pleasure boating, steamboats, Goodspeed Opera House, Bridgeport ferry, catamarans, Mystic Seaport, Aquarium, Forebiter - Strike the Bell.

***

MTV Real World - New Orleans 1 hr (some nice shots of city)

Maple Leaf Bar, Carrolton by the Camilla Grill, Hummingbird Lounge, house residents meet on the streetcar they have all to themselves, stay at Belfort on St Charles, Prodigy internet, Bourbon St, Roman Candy cart, “trolley”, they blur the gay guy’s lover, guy hooks up with a Tulane girl.

Dinner at Anne Rice’s house (https://youtu.be/ioRuohRiobA) (Not in this episode)

*** POV - KPFA PBS, 2000 1 hr, m Narrated by Alice Walker

http://www.pbs.org/pov/kpfaontheair/

Bernie Sanders, guards at the station, at was with Pacifica Foundation, Folio, founded for peace, conscientious objector camp, Lewis Hill, hated commercial radio, Kenneth Rexroth Libertarian Circle, had to settle for FM, Langston Hughes, had to give away radios with subscriptions, Dylan Thomas, Allen Ginsberg, Lawrence Ferlinghetti, Edward Teller, Linus Pauling, McCarthy, hard to find good strong conservative voices, Alan Watts, wins Peabody Award, KPFK and WBAI added, Casper Weinberger, John Birch Society, student demonstrators, JFK Cuba crisis, Dick Gregory, civil rights in the South, gay rights, Elsa Knight Thompson, Mario Savio, Dale Minor in Danang Viet Nam, Huey Newton, community radio, 1974 strike, Patty Hearst, 3 Mile Island, Oliver North, Larry Bensky, Charles Amirkhanian, Lou Harrison.

***

Streetcar Named Desire excerpts:

I have always depended on the kindness of strangers https://youtu.be/l4V8OHy0su0

Stella! (I only caught the very last one and my version doesn’t have them walking off, it just ends with Kim Hunter running up the stairs.) https://youtu.be/2MVzv9_2vIM

***

Dolly Curtis interviews  - The Merritt Parkway at 50: Protected or Threatened ~ 10 min in 1991

I Hope Gabriel Likes My Music - Roy Eldridge playing as we watch scenes from the parkway.

interview with Charles Granquist on a bridge over the parkway, Save The Merritt Parkway t-shirts, some nice closeups of bridge details,

***

Denis Elsas at FUV on Gotham TV 2001

John Lennon with him on NEW, Southside Johnny in FUV studio,

See the whole thing here: https://youtu.be/SIrDeFEbLMM

***

Fairport Convention - Beyond the Ledge Cropody, 1998 1 hr, s

See most of it here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLVKWs-SD70831iR2kEGF7cX2cIhhrvZ3f Not sure the order I have them in.

Programme Start : Meet On The Ledge, Ric Sanders Close To You Cosmic Intermezzo - awful. ? Who Knows Where The Time Goes, Featuring – Chris While ? ? Matty Groves/The Rutland Reel/Sack The Juggler Meet On The Ledge

Songs played that might be some of the unknowns above:

The Lark In The Morning Life's A Long Song Woodworm Swing Crazy Man Michael Dangerous The Flow The Naked Highwayman The Hiring Fair Jewel In The Crown The Bowman's Retreat Come Haste Spanish Main John Gaudie

***

Television: The first 50 years 1:39, s, 1999 some good ftg but mostly second-rate

Tony Randall, Johnny Carson, Rod Steiger, Charlton Heston, KTLA, Bob Hope, Billy Barty, Bob Keeshan, Howdy Doody, Milton Berle, George Burns - I was bad from 8 to 27, Bob Cummings, Mr Rogers - was ready to go to seminary and then he got into tv, wrestling, Jack Benny, Television City in Hollywood (CBS), Arthur Godfrey, Mike Wallace Golden Fluffo ad (https://youtu.be/On7OFQTp4lM) This clip, I Love Lucy, radio show, Desi Arnaz Jr, Dragnet, used teleprompter so never had to learn their lines, Harry Morgan, Edward R Murrow (https://youtu.be/vEvEmkMNYHY) This clip, Howard K Smith, Jerry Lewis, Colgate Comedy Hour, Ed Sullivan, Shecky Greene, Jerry Stiller, Steve Rossi (Allen & Rossi), Frank Sinatra, Jackie Gleason and His American Scene Magazine, Frank Fontaine, Red Skelton, The Lone Ranger, Gunsmoke, Dennis Weaver, James Arness, Bonanza, Wagon Train, The Rifleman, Wyatt Earp, Dale Evans, Roy Rogers, 1951 Shelvador refrigerator ad, What’s My Line?, Steve Allen, Wally Cox, Marty, soap operas, Ozzie & Harriet, Father Knows Best, Dobie Gillis, Dwayne Hickman, Danny Thomas Show, My Favorite Martian, Ray Walston, Leave It To Beaver, Disney, two Mousekateers, Art Linkletter's House Party, Lucille Ball Desilu Workshop (https://youtu.be/5oiTqsKxFuA) This clip, The Untouchables, Robert Stack, 77 Sunset Strip, Mr Ed, Alan Young, (the horse died in 1973), Sgt Bilko, Gilligan’s Island, Ed McMahon, Dr Joyce Brothers, Doc Severinsen, Batman, Superman, Lou Ferrigno, The Fugitive, The Avengers, Patrick Macnee, The Man From Uncle, Mission Impossible, Barbara Bain, Martin Landau, Peter Lupus, The Twilight Zone, The Outer Limits, Star Trek, Jonathan Harris, Lost In Space, The Andy Griffith Show, Beverly Hillbillies, Petticoat Junction, Green Acres, Bewitched, Laugh In, All In The Family, Norman Lear, Bob Newhart Show, Mary Tyler Moore Show, Norman Fell, WKRP, Dallas,

Blurb - Film Clips *The Steve Allen Show *Milton Berle *Red Skelton *I Love Lucy *Your Show of Shows *Art Linkletter *Gunsmoke *Colgate Comedy Hour *Jack Benny *Mickey Mouse Club *Jackie Gleason *Howdy Doody *The Ed Sullivan *The Cisco Kid *One Step Beyond *Untouchables *WKRP in Cincinnati *Saturday Night Live *Burns and Allen *Donna Reed *Leave It to Beaver *Voyage to Bottom of the Sea *You Asked For It *Dobie Gillis *Dallas *Bob Hope *Dragnet *Shindig *Batman *Star Trek *Hee Haw *BayWatch *Laugh-In And Many More!

Interviews *Tony Randall *Tom Hanks *Walter Cronkite *Art Linkletter *Rod Steiger *Carol Burnett *Victoria Principle *David Duchovny *Robert Stack *Jay Leno *Jerry Stiller *Tom Selleck *Monty Hall *Hugh O'Brien *Dick Van Patten *Alan Young *Dale Evans *Lea Thompson *Tom Arnold *Charlton Heston *Johnathon Harris *David Hasselhoff *Peter Graves *Jerry Springer *George Burns *Robert Fuller *Harry Morgan *Shecky Greene *James Arness *Maury Povich *Anne Francis *Henry Winkler *Ron Howard *Robert Vaughn *Norman Fell *Carroll O'Connor *Larry Hagman *Joyce DeWitt *Doc Severinsen *Linda Gray *Edd Byrnes *Larry Storch *Ernest Borgnine *Adrienne Barbeau *Ed Asner *Joan Collins *Carl Reiner *Jamie Farr *Ted Knight *Angie Dickinson *Isabel Sanford *Bernie Kopel *Lou Ferrigno *Gale Storm *Dennis Weaver *Steve Allen And Many More!

***

CMT The Bluegrass Sound 1:02, with commercials, 2002 various performances mostly at the Opry

mandolin, resonator guitar, banjo, fiddle, bluegrass sound, Vince Gill, Patty Loveless on ACL - Pretty Little Miss (Shady Grove) (https://youtu.be/Nj67hHp5GQ0) This clip, Chris Thile, Nickel Creek - Reasons Why (https://youtu.be/ognZEcWzdEA) Not this clip, Islip mandolin maker John Monteleone, NYC bluegrass scene with Grisman, Eric Weissberg, others, Ricky Skaggs - Uncle Pen (https://youtu.be/kv_KgdIEswI) Not this clip, Vince Gill and Alison Krauss - Catfish John, Ralph Stanley - Man of Constant Sorrow, Union Station w/ jerry Douglas and Sam Bush  (https://youtu.be/ALcdFAAojt4) Not this clip, Ricky Skaggs and Ralph Stanley - Nobody’s Love’s Like Mine, The Whites - Keep On The Sunny Side. John Hartford 1977, NC fiddle makers, Alison Krauss - Foolish Heart (https://youtu.be/kfmdQfkDE8I) Not this clip, Gillian Welch with Emmylou Harris - Rock of Ages (https://youtu.be/mnDEvU4Llvg) Not this clip, Earl Scruggs Marty Stuart  - Foggy Mountain Breakdown (https://youtu.be/d4O73LQPHyg) Not this clip, Del McCoury on ACL - All Aboard (https://youtu.be/NgLIo0eTc8Q) This clip, Bela Fleck and Friends - Major Honker.

***

Tom Jones - For One Night Only w/ Mark Knopfler, Toni Braxton, Bryn Terfel

It’s Not Unusual (https://youtu.be/1ZXEYSEgoo4) This clip. Delilah (https://youtu.be/0FwiK_os6AM) Not this clip. w/ Toni Braxton - Knock On Wood (https://youtu.be/Av4-HUrkHco) This clip. Thunderball (https://youtu.be/h-uFNGk5K7Y) Not this clip. What’s New Pussycat (https://youtu.be/FXrT8tz5nCc) Not this clip. He Stopped Loving Her Today (https://youtu.be/N-IVU1745E4) This clip. w/ Bryn Terfel - Green Green Grass of Home (https://youtu.be/SjOL_MdEcXo) Not this clip. I Want You Back w/ Mark Knopfler - I Feel Like Going Home (https://youtu.be/O2irh-WT-cY) This clip. Kiss (https://youtu.be/5uZQFOfMSfY) Not this clip.

(Bravo shows the movie Tom Jones after this.)

[beefrobeefcal]

... And Nowhere to Hide feat. Frankie Morales & f!reader

Summary: An alternate ending to All Pent Up & No Where to Go in which Frankie really blows it. To find out where this all started, start with that fic.

Pairing: Frankie & Mouse | Rating: Explicit 18+ (MDNI) | Word Count: 3,190

PLEASE READ BEFORE CONTINUING Content Warnings: could be viewed as DDDNE, toxic relationship, alcoholism, broken relationship, domestic violence [not overt but could be viewed as such], hurt, drunk driving [don't do it!], ending of a relationship, body insecurity, adultery, cheating, there are no happy endings in real life bub.

Author's Notes: Even though this is an AU ending to All Pent Up & Nowhere to Go, I'm seeing this as the end of Frankie & Mouse. The original ending to that fic always felt like it didn't fit right and now that I am moving on from writing weight fics, this seemed like the right OTP to torpedo. I'm not sorry but I hope you'll forgive this beef anyway.

Thank you to @strang3lov3 for brainstorming this with me, and to @bitchesuntitled, @mothandpidgeon and @neverwheremoonchildfor their eyes and love.

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“That’s why you had to hide it then, huh?”, he yelled again, this time, sadness and hurt clearly in his voice. He didn’t know how to tell you the deep hurt he felt, thinking you were hiding seeking pleasure on your own from him; thinking you didn't want him anymore and could replace him with a fucking vibrator, “Wait till I’m not home and then fuck yourself? Don’t need me anymore?” 

You saw his body language show more than his words could say. He was hurting and had been hurting for a while. You had no clue that he was making this whole big change for you, and now you’d basically told him that after all that hard work, you’d replaced him. No, you had no idea what was running through his head. All you knew was that you were tired of being rebuffed and ignored and wanted to give yourself some much needed pleasure and release and he was mad at you for it. 

“How fucking dare you! You barely even look at me anymore – let alone touch me – and you want to give me shit for wanting to - to feel good?”, you yelled back, standing up from the bed. His face fell and his big brown eyes widened. Your emotions were getting the better of you, and you could feel the hot tears begin to flood your eyes. Your voice cracked. “What is happening, Frankie? Talk to me!” 

He said nothing. He just turned and hurried out of the room, and you heard the back door slam shut and the garage door open. You waited to hear the truck start, but nothing came. You grabbed your things from the bathroom and bedroom and settled into the guest room. 

*****

Frankie stormed out of the house, slamming the door as hard as he could on the way out. He ripped the door to his truck open and got in, choosing to forgo  buckling his seatbelt as he pulled out of the driveway. 

How could you? How could you just lay on your shared bed, looking so beautiful and untouchable while you made yourself feel so good. Without him. He tried to forget how sad your eyes were as you pulled back your hand after his rejection. His pride wouldn’t let him linger on that because his pride was not going to let him turn the truck around and throw himself at your feet, begging for forgiveness. 

He pulled up to the regular bar the group would all hang out at, and sat for a moment. Frankie pulled out his phone, expecting to see missed calls, but all that showed up on his screen was the alert from their doorbell cam, announcing his departure. 

His heart ached. He was getting healthier and back in shape and he should be happier. But he wasn’t. He was feeling worse about everything and drinking more to offset it, and even if he didn’t want to acknowledge it, a small part of him knew that this was all on him, not on you.

He wanted so badly for you to give him a sign, anything, to come back to the house and make it right. He told himself he didn’t want to go to the bar again and drink until his broken soul was numb and he knew by being here again, he was putting another nail in your relationship’s coffin.  His fingers twitched on the steering wheel, as if to let him know the bar was just right there - all he had to do was go in and he could forget all of this, at least for the night. Frankie didn’t know how long he’d sat there, but he was brought back to reality as a loud group of people exited the bar to smoke. He sighed, biting back the sick feeling making his skin feel wrong, and went into the bar. 

****

Frankie was downing his third beer when a hand came onto his shoulder.

“No Mouse?”

Frankie looked up and saw Natalie, one of Santi’s previous conquests, looking back at him. He cleared his throat and shook his head, looking back down at his beer. “No.”

He heard her pull the stool next to his out and moved it closer to him. “Trouble at home?”, she asked, sitting down. He could feel how warm her body was against his, making the ache in his chest feel deeper, reminding him that he was here and you weren’t.

“I-uh..”, he cleared his throat again. “It’s not been great.”

Her hand came up and sympathetically rubbed on his. “I’m sorry to hear that, Frankie.”

He nodded, eyeing her, then took another sip of beer.

“Well, you look great.”, she says a little too enthusiastically for Frankie, and he only sighed in response. 

“Look, Natalie. I’m not gonna be great company. I just wanna cool down before I go back home and… and…”, he dropped his head in his hands. “I don’t fucking know what I’m gonna do. I don’t know how to-”

“Frankie.”, Natalie interjected. “You don’t have to explain anything to me. It’s pretty clear what’s going on.”

He looked up at her, brows furrowed in confusion. “You’re doing something for yourself, to make yourself feel better, and Mouse isn’t happy.”

Frankie wanted to correct her. He wanted to tell her that it was on him, that he was doing this for you and he felt like shit, and he wanted nothing more than to go home and hold the most important person in the world to him - you. 

But he didn’t. Instead, he accepted the shots Natalie ordered, and let her say horrible, untrue things about you, all because he was getting his ego stroked. 

So he said nothing, just nodded along. He didn’t put his barriers up and tell her to move her chair away. He didn’t stop her hands from touching him. He didn’t stop her from crawling on his lap, and he didn’t stop her when she kissed him.

Worst of all, he didn’t stop himself from taking her to his truck and doing everything he’d wanted to do with you to Natalie in the backseat.

*****

Natalie was still in the backseat of his truck, pulling her bra back on and Frankie was drinking down the two day old, open bottle of Gatorade to wash the taste of her out of his mouth. 

Frankie’s head was swimming. The alcohol was working its way through his system.

The dread that washed over him was sobering for a moment as he put the lid back on the bottle and caught a glimpse of Natalie in a rearview mirror, warm soft light from the street lamps illuminating her silhouette. She smiled up at him and crawled into the front seat.

“I was thinking-”

“No.”, Frankie said, sharper than he intended, shaking his head and feeling the alcohol swirl his vision. His tone softened, “This shouldn’t have happened.”

There was silence from the seat next to him. He couldn’t bring himself to face her, so he slurred in a harsh whisper again, “This shouldn’t have happened.”

There was the sound of a sharp breath followed by, “Are you fucking serious?”

“Natalie, I-”

“Are you fucking serious, Morales?” Natalie’s words were accentuated with a slightly drunken lilt and cold laughter. “Oh my god!”

He growled and looked up at her angrily. “What did you fucking expect?”

“That you’d be done with that little fuckwit and wake up!”

Frankie stared at Natalie, aghast and trying to fight the alcohol in his system and find the right words to shut her down, but she was quicker.

“Look what she did to you! Your little feeder is mad you won’t eat and kicks you out!”

Frankie sat with his mouth slightly agape. He knew that was not what happened but he couldn’t spit it out.

“Oh come on, Frankie!”, she scoffed in a laugh. “I’ve known you for how long? And since you’ve been with her, you got fat. Like fucking fat! She made you fat because she’s a freak and who fucking knows why you put up with it!”

“Get the fuck out.” His soft tone was menacing.

“Or what?”, she challenged him, her drunkenness emboldening her. “You can’t go back to that. I won’t let you, Frankie. She doesn’t deserve you! I can’t just let you go back to someone who asks to be called ‘Mouse’ over her real name! There’s something wrong with her and she needs help, acting like this is healthy to do this to you. You have to see-”

“I am doing this for her!”, Frankie shouted, cutting Natalie off. His eyes had softened and were now pleading and his voice dropped to a lower volume. “I’m doing this for her.”

“Frankie, I ca - you don’t have to defend her. I get it, and I want to help -”

“Just get out.”

Frankie’s drive from the bar was - in short - chaotic. He’d stopped at a corner store and picked up a case of beer, then drove out to a quiet look out, downing one right another the other.

He tried to drown the heavy lump of dread as he watched the sky lighten. Something told him could find a way to fix this if he could think of the right words to say to you, and if he could get the water in the shower hot enough, he could scrub Natalie from his skin like it never happened. 

The drive to your shared house was confusing. The street signs were unreadable through his tears and beer fueled haze and his stomach felt nauseous from the smell of Natalie permeating the truck cab. He couldn’t remember what colour meant stop or go, so he just drove by muscle memory alone.

*****

You’d tossed and turned all night long, unable to get comfortable. Any time you found yourself finally drifting off to sleep, the pangs of anxiety reverberated in your body, making your limbs ache and your skin feel too hot and too cold simultaneously. 

The light coming in from the window told you it was very early in the morning. The dredges of sleeplessness made your body feel heavy, making getting out of bed that much harder when you heard Frankie’s truck pull up.

As you padded down the hallway, you heard the back door open and Frankie’s heavy footsteps on the mudroom floor. You turned the corner into the kitchen and watch as he toed his boots off, looking slightly unsteady on his feet. The hair popping out from around his hat seemed more mussed and his clothing looked like he’d slept in them. He was clearly drunk and you were furious with him for driving home like that. It wasn’t the first time he’d done it as of late, and it wasn’t the first time he’d come home with his tail between his legs, drunk and pleading.

“Are you drunk?”

Your harshly spoken words cut through the heavy silence and Frankie looked up at you, eyes weary and desperate.

“Mouse - baby…” 

His words were slurred and desperate, and his voice was rough and sounded like he was in pain. He turned his body facing you and you saw that his lips looked reddened and worried and something on his neck. It was a hickey or bite mark, framed with a hint of red lipstick. Realization washed over you and you felt sick. 

Frankie reached out a hand to you, watching your face fall and pull away from him. “Baby, no, please!”

“What did you do…” Your words came out in a broken whisper and Frankie lumbered towards you, reaching out. Instead of falling into his hold, you shook your head and turned away towards your bedroom. 

“MOUSE!”

The volume at which he yelled your name made you stop in your tracks and turn around, and what you saw made your stomach churn. Frankie’s fists were clenched by his sides and he was breathing hard. His whole body seemed to be tense, like a snake would coil up before it striked, and his face was twisted in anguish and rage.

You froze. This was not your Frankie - it was just Frankie, drunk and looking the way he’d described his dad. You watched in abject horror as he moved towards you, and both of you stared into the other’s eyes.

Frankie broke the connection first with a sharp sob followed by his voice cracking with his slurred words. “Don’t look at me like that! Please, Mouse - I can explain, baby!”

You shook your head, face twisting in hurt, confusion and anger. You couldn’t keep going through the cycle of fighting, Frankie getting drunk  and having to bear the brunt of it. You stood your ground, yelling back at him, “You’re fucking drunk again - I don’t want to hear it -”

Frankie shook his head. “Just fucking listen to me!”

You couldn’t hold back the tears any longer and sobbed, “Get out!”

Natalie’s words about how you were the villain were leaching into his mind, peeling back the rational thought and fueling the insecurities he carried. You were the one who did this to him. You were the one who was forcing him to change. Everyone else could see it - why couldn’t you? You deserved what he did because now you knew how he felt every time you went out in public and other men’s eyes danced over your body and he just had to sit back like a cuck and let it happen. 

His breathing was growing rapid, and his eyes were fixed on you like a bull seeing red. As you turned to go into your room, Frankie lunged forward and reached out, grabbing your arm. He yanked you away from the bedroom door. 

“Don’t you EVER walk away from me when I am talking to you!”

“Let go! You’re hurting m - “

“You don’t get to to tell me when to leave my house!”

“Frankie! Stop it!”

You pushed him back and turned around, but his arms came around your waist, pulling you back into him. His hot, beer soaked breath painted the side of your neck and face.

“Mouse! I just-I just wanna talk… that’s all, baby.. I love you and i don’t wanna let you go-.”

He was cut off by your elbowing his abdomen, and it gave you a chance to get away from him. You ran into your room and slammed the door and locked, then stood back and watched the door shake from Frankie’s fists pounding on the other side. 

Grabbing your phone, you dialed the only number your trembling hands could.

Will answered his phone groggily and all he heard was your panicked crying and Frankie screaming in the background. 

*****

The morning was a blur. Will arrived with Benny quicker than you could have hoped for. Will and Benny had finally managed to drag Frankie from the house and out into the detached garage, but just barely. Based on the damage he’s inflicted on his friends who were trying to help, Benny was scared shitless as to what he would find on the other side of your bedroom door.

You’d finally opened the bedroom door when you’d made Benny promise that Will would keep Frankie out of the house. As soon as he was in the room with you, Benny’s concern had him kneeling on the floor in front of you, asking over and over if you were okay… if Frankie had hit you… if you were hurt… and each question, you could only shake your head. The reality of the situation was settling in, knowing this was not something you could just come back from easily and Benny held you as you cried.

Will had called Santi over to keep Frankie in place in the garage. The last thing he wanted was for him to get back into the house and see that Benny was helping you pack enough of your stuff to tie you over for a few days. 

Santi went into the house to get some water and found you standing at the kitchen table, wiping your eyes as you packed some important paperwork you weren’t sure you wanted to leave behind. He had no idea what to say, so Santi said nothing. 

He grabbed a cup from the cupboard and the pitcher of water from the fridge, leaving you in silence. 

*****

You’d left that day and moved in with Benny and his two cats - Butter and Bagels. Frankie’s infidelity had come fully to light with Natalie laying it all out for Santi and then Frankie confirmed it all, solidifying your choice to leave.

The break up had affected every part of the group, and while you assumed that you were in the right for walking away, Will shocked you when he told you to forgive and get back with Frankie.

“You don’t get it. Honey, I know he fucked up, but you’re better than that. You want loyalty, you have to be loyal, Mouse.”, he’d said sternly to you from across the table at a Denny’s. “You don’t leave a man when he’s down, and Frankie has seen some shit. You belong together, Mouse. You know that!”

It was a given that when you told Benny what Will had said, he drove straight to his house, barged in and punched Will square in the face, breaking his nose. 

Santi had sent you a bullshit text telling you that while he was sorry for what happened, Frankie was his brother and he needed to stand with him. He wished you well and said he’d be around if you needed anything. You angrily toyed with the idea of sending a curse-laden response, but instead just blocked his number and deleted the message. 

It had taken six months for you to begin to feel like yourself again. You’d joined a social group in the apartment complex and made a few acquaintances in the laundry room. You’d even switched to a new department at the accounting firm, allowing you to work from home.

Home. You had a home again. Benny’s apartment was finally home for you and you were cautiously optimistic for your future. 

The bar you’d frequented with the group was now considered non-existent to you. Benny even vowed to not darken its doorway in solidarity, so the two of you had found a new dive to hang out in. 

It was a little further out of the way, but it was quieter, and less of a bar and more of an all-night bistro. It didn’t hurt that the bartender there was easy on the eyes, what with his shorter hair, the small offset blonde patch in the front and his jewel-toned southern drawl crackling light lightning across the bar. 

You hadn’t gotten the courage to speak to him, let alone hold eye contact. At least not until one evening, you’d bravely wandered in - sand Benny - and sat at the bar instead of the booth you normally did.

The bartender turned around and put his weight on the counter, leaning slightly towards you, and with his cheshire grin, he asked, 

“And what can I get for you, little bird?”

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