#the chaotic bisexual disaster Buck and Alex are

[not-so-secret-bi-badge-bunny]

ok so your blog totally has me thinking of the chaotic power of buck and alex meeting while tommy and henry have to ensure their dumbass boyfriends don’t destroy something.

you know tommy and henry would be smitten and totally in love but they got to keep it together because someone has to have a brain cell in this friend group.

they would get roped into the shenanigans by buck and alex though and everyone around them would be stunted at the fact that there is two disaster bisexuals.

the super six and 118 meeting would just be unreal and could you imagine the interactions?

anyways I’ll be off in my own delusional world where this is a reality.

Oh I love this idea!

I have so many ideas that work with these four and so little time to write. But I hope to make it happen (as soon as I get the opportunity to read the book, I might need to make this AU happen).

Alex and Henry are both fascinated with Buck and Tommy's jobs as firefighters. They have so many questions and want all the stories. They find news clips of some of the rescues and taunt Buck and Tommy about some of them (think Buck tackling the baby napper+ Tommy and the rooster type calls).

Buck and Alex would not only "torment" Tommy and Henry (lovingly), but they would drive the 118 crazy.

The four of them at a pride parade where Henren are introduced would be total chaos... maybe I should add Tarlos, too. Just imagine the 8 of them all in one place. They might need Athena on standby, haha.

Eddie and Alex meet, and suddenly, it's a game of "who is the best Diaz" and "you have to choose a favorite" (blame it on the alcohol they consumed on this outing).

Tommy and Henry's text exchange is full of "how do you tame your bisexual disaster because my normal methods are not working right now" type commentary and questions.

Buck and Alex brainstorm new ways to be a menace to their boyfriends, encouraging each other to dumb things.

Not to mention the chaos that would be that group chat. I could see both Buck and Alex playing the " my boyfriend said he didn't love me anymore because..." and it's over something silly like Tommy or Henry doesnt want to listen to that song for the 800th time.

I need my library hold to be available so I can read this book and start this chaos, lol.

[lilywoood]

You’ve got a mail 2/?

And I’m back with Part 2, I’m sorry I took so long to update anything I’m just a bit overwhelmed right now, I also want to thank all of you who’ve been nothing but supportive, I want to thank y’all for the kind words, and for welcoming me in this fandom, I hope part 2 would be good for you that you’ll like it, it’s a bit different than the first one and I changed certain canonical things so please enjoy 😊♥️♥️

Tagging: @felicitous-one @translucent-bisexual @cherishingstydia @comablog2 @justsmilestuffhappens @diazbuckleysworld @chrrlees @gxtop @jb-ap-94 @chioink @peroquenotevean @tk-carlosforlifex @nighting-gale17 @fyeahhipsterdoctor @leslilupe @anthony-e-stark-3000 @haderofthesociety @iamonlyaliveformalex @wearelosersyoudumbfuck @serena040506 @multi-fandom-writing

Word count : 1452

Song : Night Go Slow - Catey Shaw

He was watching them, observing them, witnessing how they were happy, how they laughed, joked, played with each other, watched how they clicked, how they were with all their differences and similarities a perfect family, he watched how bright his father smile was, how relaxed, carefree and younger he seemed, he belonged with them, as they belonged to him, he knew he should be happy and thankful that they got the 126 but somehow as he looked at them, at how they were interacting with one another he couldn’t help but feel like an outsider, couldn’t help but hear the taunting little voice in his head, the one telling him that he didn’t belong there, the one telling him that the 126 and Owen didn’t need him, he was just a leverage, a walking disaster, he was just the “coach son...”

He never saw his father this happy, never heard him laugh so loud, as he was downing yet another glass of iced tea he couldn’t help but envy those who got his attention without even trying, he was talking with Judd and Grace probably congratulating them and bribing them to be the baby cool grandpa Owen, he looked so proud of Judd so happy for him, he’d never looked at him this way, TK couldn’t remember the last time he ever got one of those particular smile, he was hugging Judd now, really and tightly hugging him, hugging him like a proud father would do, the last time he got one of those hug was ages ago and he couldn’t even remember why was it for.

Watching his father being a dad with someone else was taking a toll on him, realizing he wasn’t enough for his own flesh and blood, realizing that he could never give his father the family and grandkids he dreamed to have, seeing him seeking that dream, that chimera in Judd and having to watch him actually and willingly fulfilling it was too much too soon, he wasn’t ready, he would never be ready to see his father blatantly replacing him, so with what little dignity he still had he went, he got out and called an Uber.

He was casually leaning over some strangers car, patiently waiting for his Uber to arrive when he heard the all too familiar ringtone and felt his phone buzz in his back pocket, he retrieved it carefully, and smiled when the “You’ve got a mail’’ notification popped on his screen, with a simple swipe of finger he unlocked his phone and clicked on his therapy app...

>From Buck : Have you ever felt like the biggest failure on earth, like a walking disaster, have you ever felt like whatever you do, whatever you say it’ll never be enough, you’ll never be enough...

He never expected Buck to contact him this fast still he couldn’t help but read his mail over and over again, caressing his phone screen as if he was trying to absorb the words, to absorb Buck’s feelings , he chuckled drily at the message wondering how the Californian firefighter seemed to always be on the same wavelength.

He was starting to type back his answer when he heard his name being called and footsteps coming his way.

-There you are, his father smiled catching his breath, what are you doing here, he frowned when TK didn’t acknowledge his presence, everything’s okay son, he tried.

-I’m fine, TK replied curtly his attention still fixed on his phone.

-TK, he called worry starting to cripple it’s way in his head, you know you can talk to me, he tried pathetically.

-Do you want to know why I became a firefighter, he asked starkly changing the subject, do you want to know the real reason, he asked venom in his voice

-I know why you did, Owen frowned not understanding what he was getting at

-No you don’t, Tk snarled, I told you it was because I wanted to help people, because I wanted to do something that mattered but it was a lie, he chuckled drily, I became a firefighter so that for once I could feel like we were a family you and I, he gestured, so that for once I would matter for you, he gasped, so that you could see me and love me as much as I love and see you dad, he whispered

-What are you....he stuttered, of course I love you and I see you, he frowned, TK you’re my son, he thundered grabbing his arms forcing him to look at him, you’re my world TK why would you think otherwise, he breathed.

-I never felt like it, he retorted darkly getting out of his father grip, go back to them, to your found family, he snarled before rejoining his Uber.

He shouldn’t be there, he knew it, he knew that place smelled trouble and bad news, he remembered how it ended the last time he came down there still he couldn’t help it, he needed to be there, needed to fell the thrill, the rush, he needed something to forget how chaotic his life felt right now.

His eyes were fixed on the amber liquid in his hand, his glass was almost empty but it didn’t fill the whole in his heart no matter how many glass he drank he couldn’t forget his fathers laugh, his teammates proximity, he couldn’t help but feel like an outsider, the word turned black that night, not gray or bland just black as if all hope was definitely gone.

-I knew I would find you here, he heard Carlos call

-Let me guess, he chuckled downing his drink, dad called you, told you I went berserk, he smirked imitating Owen’s voice, you’re the only one who can put some sense in my boy’s head, he laughed

-What’s wrong TK, Carlos frowned sitting next to him, is it...

-Iced tea, he interrupted rolling his eyes at Carlos suggestion, relax I’m not stupid, he sighed

-What’s wrong, Carlos repeated sitting on the stool next to his, you can tell me, he tried taking his hand, caressing it softly, I’m there, he smiled, we’re a team remember, he tried.

-We aren’t, he breathed drawing his hand back, purposely avoiding Carlos hurt expression.

He was looking at him now, for the first time since they decided to be official he was looking at him, seeing him, acknowledging him, acknowledging their differences, finally accepting and understanding what Alex had meant that night...

-What...what do you mean, Carlos sputtered.

-It means I lied, he breathed, passing a hand through Carlos’s hair.

-About what, he breathed dreading the answer.

-I lied when I said we made a good team, TK admitted quietly, I lied when I told you I was ready, he took a deep breath, I lied when I said that life was slowly starting to be colorful again.

-Why did you lie, Carlos croaked not meeting his sight

-Because it made you happy, he smiled stroking the other man cheek, you were smiling and I liked it, I like your smile and I like seeing you happy, he chuckled tiredly, thing is I can’t make you happy without feeling miserable and you don’t deserve this, he stepped back looking one last time at Carlos, I want you to be happy but I can’t give you that happiness and I can’t ask you to wait for me it’s too selfish so I’m freeing you, he breathed tearfully, you’re the best thing that happened to me Carlos Reyes but I would’ve been the worst thing that happened to you, he half shrugged, goodbye officer, he whispered kissing his cheek.

‪His chest was aching, he felt his heart breaking even more after Carlos’s departure, regret and remorse tearing it down, the ache to order a drink or severals getting stronger. ‬

He needed to leave, he needed fresh air because he wasn’t sure he could stay there without causing another ruckus.‬

The night was getting colder, but the weather wasn’t the cause of his numbness, the apathy was caused by the hole he dug in his heart by destroying the only good thing that happened to him, gazing one last time at the horizon he dug his phone from his pocket ready to finally answers Buck’s mail.

>From TK: not a day goes by that I don't feel that way, that I don’t feel like people could do so much better than me, because I know, I know that I would never be enough, I know that fighting is meaningless...