#the cool p drawing is a little suggestive i think(idk what could be considered suggestive gamers but i think this is it ;A;)

[small-spark-of-light]

@rewpuk showed me the site he uses to draw and we doodled together :D it was very fun!!

[olde-scratch]

mm momsger high au. i didn't mean to misspell that. inspired by this post from @tobisiksi . sorry this took so long i had everything written out and then tumblr Deleted Everything even tho i had like two backup posts.

i tried to include everyone i could and give all of them unique monster types but there are some repeats :( ib sowwee i tried to make them unique when i could tho. lmk if u have any suggestions for characters or different monster types.

ALSO HAPPY HALLOWEEN!! i have to work but im going dressed as saiki so i still have the spirit

Saiki Kusuo - Lovecraftian Eldritch Horror

i mean. duh.

he poses as his own (human) worshipper to avoid being indoctrinated elsewhere

"i can't attend, i have worship tonight." "oh that's cool who do you worship?" "they don't like being talked about." "ohh so it's an... invite-only system. right......"

deciding now that closed worship systems like saiki purports are generally a total Scam and people avoid them like a plague. it fits with saikis foray into the internet lol

hes still sooo silly dw

to the people with the eldritch kusuo headcanons, i see u..... i hope u like monster high........ :)

Saiki Kuusuke - Cult Worshipper (Human)

bet you thought i was gonna say mad scientist. WRONG that's his day job.

kuusuke operates as a mad scientist since humans aren't allowed into the monster world (afaik humans arent even seen outside of jackson, who is half monster). idk what he makes tho. maybe he pulls a doctor finklestein and makes bone animals to roam the monster world?

kuusuke is the one who got his family into the monster world btw. i mean he definitely found it p quickly after kusuo started morphing and speaking in tongues and shit

kuusuke would LOVE the monster world, at least at first. he might get bored really quickly, but he'd love being able to be more of a crazy bastard than he already is

kuusuke functions as a head cultist for kusuo, but instead of strengthening him with sacrifices and praying for protection, he weakens him with sacrifices (the limiters) and prays for himself to be smote (kusuo to play games with him) (kusuo ignores him a lot)

maybe he made amp/anpu like he did warp. idk.

Saiki Kurumi / Saiki Kuniharu - Cult Worshipper (Human)

they were 100% human before being dragged into the monster world due to their sons

they basically live the same as they do in canon tbh i dont think a lot would change in the monster world

during the new years chapter maybe instead of saying kusuo has powers, they say something about his eldritchness or how glad they are to "worship" such a chill god. god i wanna write this now.

Kaidou Shun - Vampire

okay so not ACTUALLY a vampire but i think it was nopsi who had like an au where kaidou was like a weaker version of a vampire?? GOD i dont remember the name (hampir?? i cant find it on wikipedia, did it start with an f????). for all intents and purposes, im just gonna consider him a weak vampire

i cant remember if he'd be made thru a human/vampire relationship but if he was then i think we should play into the manga hair colors of his siblings and say that whole toki and sora and his mother are all full vampires, he was half vampire (perhaps he's from the father's side of the family from a previous relationship, since his mother has purple hair in her manga cover i think??)

draculara has her red drinks and her spf and her cute little parasol so OF COURSE kaidou has all of those as well. i think it would be very funny if kaidou had his umbrella customized to look like a hidden anime weapon, but it wasn't waterproof so he has to use a different one when it rains

i have a gen 1 og draculara from when i was a kid and i love her she's so cute :] someone draw kaidou in her outfit he'd slay. actually, just draw all of them in her outfit(s). gloom beach teruhashi. sweet screams mera. freak du chic saiki. sweet 1600 saiko. fearleader hairo. you cannot make her look bad idc.

Nendou Riki - Zombie (Frankenstein's Monster type zombie)

okay so this might be controversial but imagine:

everyone's chatting like normal, nendous head falls off, everyone goes deathly silent, nendou puts it back on and goes back to talking, cue kaidou screeching

bc im rewriting this im not gonna go thru my thought process so my idea was that takeuchi was a mad scientist who created midori after himself bc he only had access to a mirror (neither realized they looked the same). takeuchi died and chouno, who was smitten with midori, remade takeuchi who midori named riki and chose to raise as her own. chouno intended it as a poetic final goodbye but cut to 16 years later and hes still not over her lol

nendou being undead could also play into his appreciation for life.... protecting the obviously smaller and weaker saiki and kaidou.... his care for his dad that he never met (altho he might have two dads in this au?).... THE HAMSTER SCENE. NENDOU :((((

Teruhashi Kokomi - Tomie

im SORRY for bringing up junji ito but come ON

for those who dont know tomie, she's basically So Beautiful that men are supernaturally attracted to her until she drives them mad with her beauty. they cut her up and scatter her remains and they turn into more tomies

however. teruhashi isnt just a pretty girl. she's The Perfect Pretty Girl. so we can just ignore all the bloodshed and murder and deathmatches :D

i debated making her a siren but that just doesn't fit her for some reason. she doesn't have to try.

in op's post they made her aphrodite reincarnated but i don't think that there are gods walking amonst the student disembody unfortunately

Teruhashi Makoto - Intersection Bishounen

IM SORRY THE TERHASHI SIBLINGS JUST FIT JUNJI ITO SO WELL

the intersection bishounen is a vengeful spirit that roams the streets and gives fortunes to young girls that drive them to suicide, after which they come back as ghosts and beg for his affection.

makoto is more of a teenage/ya heartthrob than a vengeful spirit tho so we can get rid of all the cool stuff like fortune telling and driving to suicide

the intersection bishounen also didnt want to fuck his cousin so points to him

Hairo Kineshi - Fire Elemental

i KNOW he's BORING

think of heath. i think heath is like the son of hades or something idfk i say fuck that ive never heard that before until i started getting back into monster high that's not canon to me

theres... a surprisingly low amount of sports name puns :( there's casketball, ofc ofc, because mh is american. there's monster soccer from toralei's ghoul spirit notebook, but baseball and tennis from clawdeen and spectra dont get named so they dont have names. thats BULLSHIT btw someone who's good w puns help me im freezing up

gilda goldstag was also a fire elemental right? i dont actually know anything about her other than that she was in the student council bc she was in the doll pack

theres a wind elemental mentioned in spectras ghoul spirit notebook. figured that id mention it idk

i have nothing else to say this should be obvious

Mera Chisato - Shouku-jinki

okay i need to preface this with something that is very important to me about this, the Japanese creature the jikininki/shoku-jinki originated in the story of musou the preist. as far as ive been able to see, there is a second story featured on wikipedia about a pregnant woman that is legitimately someone's fucking oc insert. im not making this up, it appeared one goddamn day and i dont want to make an acc just to get rid of it but i dont want to have my ip address just There and i dont know how to like draw attention to it. so please know that the story of musou is the only legitimate source of the jikininki and the "jijinki" are just someones fucking oc inserts. i dont know why they did this, i dont know how it's still there bc its been YEARS how has no one removed it??

anyways im calm now.

jikininki (or, iirc the more modern version is shoku-jinki) are demons that were greedy or impious in life and were cursed to wander the earth forever starving and thirsty. at night, they eat dead bodies.

sooo remember how mera acted when she got her money back for a day.

her death was the cause of their bankruptcy, maybe they put all their money towards avenging her?

i think that mera would come from a half human, half monster family so she could already be in the monster world, but i dont have to worry about what powers she'd have due to being a monster.

her mother would be a demon and her father a human who doesn't quite know how to navigate the monster would, so he still has to go away to earn money. also imagine four kids following mera around, three have devil horns and taiks and one is just some guy. (idk if she has 4 siblings but you get the idea)

so yeah, mera is immortal, unable to feel satisfied by any amount of food or drink, working herself to the bone to provide for her siblings. the mera lore is Strong w this one.

u could totally also go for some real body horror with her if u wanted

Yumehara Chiyo - Ghost

ill go into the difference between ghosts and souls in toritsuka's part since you cant take away toritsukas thing but you cant just remove ghosts from mh

i initially thought of making her a cherub/cupid but girlie would be getting No One Together. also there's only one cupid in mh and uhhhh there would be no hope if that was chiyo. yk what chiyo loves tho? gossip. u know what spectra loves? gossip.

i think the ghosts in mh all have a chain motif iirc? ik spectra does but sirena von boo also does (the siren/ghost hybrid) and i dont know any other ghosts off the top of my head

anyways yumehara is totally just a regular people ghost. maybe she cries blood or somethin fun like that? maybe have a bit where she keeps getting told off for having makeup and its her eyes leaking or its her having anti blood leaking drops or wipes

Saiko Metori - Mummy

i was gonna make him a vampire but HELLO??? CLEO IS RIGHT THERE????

rich, bratty, self-centered?? DE NILE IS CLEOS LAST NAME.

idk if him being a mummy would change him like cosmetically, like skin tone or hair texture or whatever but i cant draw so that doesn't quite matter to me. altho ig hed probably just look like a pale, dehydrated, brittle pile of bandages if you wanna be historicallty accurate

his father glows because he's ra next question

he definitely decks himself out in a looott more gold than just his earring as a mummy. bangles, cuffs rings, anklets, hair accessories.

the bodyguards are just the tomb protectors that cleo gets as slaves

he gets a custom made desk of pure gold at pk and he never uses it

i think in ancient egypt married couples would be buried together regardless of if at least the wife was dead or alive, so he definitely propositions teruhashi to take a sand nap with him

he gets a pet crocodile. he has a tiger in canon i think and cleo gets a snake so like. nile crocodile obviously.

i cant tell if he lives in a pyramid just randomly in the middle of hidari wakibara, or if theres a bit about nendou asking him where his pyramid is and saikos just like "bro i Dont Live In A Pyramid."

Kuboyasu Aren - Werewolf

hello?? violent, tragic past that comes back to haunt them regularly and interfere with their daily lives?????

i dont think werewolves can turn into wolves in mh but like if you want doggy kuboyasu who's as big as kaidou, go for it

KUBOYASU WITH DOGGY EARS AND A TAIL.... i dont think that werewolves in mh have tails but thats. a crime.

kuboyasu can smell the rest of the cast. god i wanna know what they smell like in the non weirdest way possible.

i dont have a lot to say about this. doguyasu

Toritsuka Reita - Cult Worshipper (Human)

okay so there's a difference between ghosts and souls in this version. ghosts are a form of undead that are sort of just humans that can float and go thru walls and stuff. souls are the base forms of dead people that remain chained to existence with no knowledge of who they were. normal people can see ghosts, but not souls. toritsuka can see both

toritsuka was also raised in a temple in this au, pretty standard stuff. nothing interesting there.

:)

so yk how toritsuka found out abt saiki thru the souls

and yk how saikis an eldritch monster that melts mind and twists reality to his will in this au

toritsuka does not know the meaning of the term eldritch btw

if ur a torisai or toritsuka angst fan then u can always imagine toritsuka thinking himself inferior to the rest of the pk psychickers bc he's a human and didnt even find saiki by himself, but with the help of his ghosts. sorry i gotta push the torisai agenda.

i personally also hc him to be hypersexualized by the adults in his life due to his touchyness from a young age which lead to him being ostracized by his peers when he began repeating the behavior, thus encouraging the development of touch starvation that he misinterpreted as horniness. in other words, "damn bitch u live like this?". sooo do with that what u will in this au.

(could saiki like..... taste his desperation??)

Aiura Mikoto - Cult Worshipper (Devil)

basically aiura but with cute devil horns and a tail that reacts with her mood. she 100% bedazzles and paints her horns like she paints her nails.

shes still a prophet and stuff but like shes just a lil demonic now. as she deserves.

"yeah i can totes check ur future!!" (rips open a portal to the underworld, chants in a forgotten language, focuses in on one damned soul that writhes and screams for mercy as it withers out of existence where it will wait to be reborn into hell after being offered the temporary reprieve of total nothingness) "babe ur bf is cheating on u like one hundo percent. but ur gonna be a bomb ass doctor one day!!"

i want her to trip toritsuka with her tail

she's not human and she lords it over toritsuka's head when they fight for saiki's attention

Akechi Touma - Cult Worshipper (Human)

initially i wanted to make him a bugboy bc yea but consider

saiki knew him in elementary school so he pulled a real I Tracked Down My Childhood Friend Who Is Actually An Eldritch Monster Masquerading as a Pretty Boy with Pink Hair in a High School?!

yeah soo like what if their dynamic was "what if we were friends in our childhood years before you had to leave to stop the uncontrollable desire you had to break down my reality and drive me into irreversible madness, yet despite knowing the danger i faced i still hunted you down, my prayers meant solely to get a response from you devolving into genuine reverence, solidifying myself as your most loyal devotee...... haha jk. unless?"

we all know that akechi likely faced no difficulty finding the monster world dont even ask

you can insert ur own hcs with his mom all ill say is that shes probably masquerading as some sort of cult worshipper or jekyll/hyde situation to live in the monster world. or maybe he just moved schools and lives sort of nearby but not in the monster world idk

akechi would fucking Love the monster world. he'd never get bored of it. you know the sweet potato scene? oh, honey, he's got access to information about the average size of different monsters, along with the influence of proportions and size, magical interference, etc etc. hed fucking LOVE the monster world.

Satou Hiroshi - Ghost

ive already got three ghosts (see suzumiya and makino) but i couldnt think of the Most Generic monster but hear me out

he's a sheet

hes got two black or cut out circles for eyes and a little 'o' for a mouth. just fuckin 0 。0 .

HES SO. USELESS.

SO PLAIN.

SO BORING.

SO GENERIC.

SO. PERFECT.

and saiki is IN LOVE WITH HIM.

toritsuka is honestly so offended that he is not the ghost-themed object of saiki's affections

satous friends and baseball team are either the core basic monsters (werewolf, vampire, zombie, etc) or theyre basic japanese spirits. im. not doing tons of research on if there are generic japanese demons or if theres just sort of one kind of demon that has a lot of forms,,,, im so sorry i can only do so much research please correct me if you know better

Rifuta Imu - Catgirl

i dont know what the name of the actual catgirls are in mh (werecats?) like purrsephone and toralei and meowlody but fuck it catgirl

she would have THE cutest collar. OR she'd have a ribbon around her neck w a matching one on her tail like catrine de mew. she could maybe even have some sort of shredded piece of clothing like catty noir's skirt or a habit of shredding things

im sorry i dont know a lot about cat breeds so i dont have a lot to say about her species

cat themed accessories.......

btw she's a cat bc of japans obsession w cats. i considered making HER a siren since i scrapped that idea for teruhashi but i feel like it just. doesn't suit her.

Bonuses (people i couldnt find that much to talk about)

Suzumiya Hii - Cursed Soul

i mean what else would she be.

okay so shes not a SOUL shes a GHOST i just think it sounds better like that

Makino Arisu - Ghost

ring-style ghost. i think it's called a yuurei? i did my research for her but i forgot it and the og post got deleted so. im upset.

Matsuzaki - Headless Horseman

idk what is his horse would be i just wanted bloodgood to have Presence in this and the principal is only seen like. three times.

i considered giving kuboyasu the status as headless horseman bc of his motorcycle but g1 bloodgood did not serve that much cunt for her type to be given to a 16 year old im sorry

(i also recently got a bloodgood as my first doll when i got back into mh and i love her :] she came w a cool coat that isnt her og coat but its nice anyways)

Chouno Urkyoku - Mad Jester

okay so ik i said he was a mad scientist but he retired that in order to go into entertainment. it's not going too well.

you could also go for a ringmaster/clown route but we all lived thru 2016 (or was it 2017?) and the ensuing cliche-ifying treatment the media gave scary clowns put me off them personally lol they kind of bore me

(if u don't live in the us or don't know what im talking about that happened in 2016, then god i envy you. just look up "2016 clowns usa" im sure you'll figure it out)

Michael (Ikemi something I think?) - Zombie

idk it just fits him

zombies in g1 can only communicate thru moans which makes them nonverbal in some way but g3 STOLE that from us. fuck them.

Nendou Midori / Nendou Takeuchi - Frankenstein & His Monster

i explained this in nendous thing im not repeating myself sorry

PK Principal - Gorgon

yes its bc of the glasses

also i think theres something fun about being able to say he can rule the school with an iron fist (or ig rock fist) without needing to use his eyes

Kongou - Minotaur

big strong and VIOLENT. you can also play into manny's more delicate side with kongous change of heart after saiki helps him realize what matsuzaki does for him

Takahashi - Goblin

idk i think it just suits him

Shima - Changeling

her whole bit is being a forgettable face so what if she was always just a Little Bit Different every time you saw her

Iridatsu family - Mummy

okay ik ive already done mummy but HEAR ME OUT.

idk abt the mom but i think it would be funny if yuuta was just covered in bandages and his whole thing is tripping over/hitting people with them

The pervy teacher who wasn't actually pervy at all he just had an unfortunate face - Human

he's not even disguised as anything

the monsters saw him and said "nah im p sure he's one of us" and then took him

teacher doesnt quite care cause the monster world has better health plans /j

The "your manga artist is gnc af" guy - Kitsune

kitsune are typically seen as elusive tricksters which doesnt suit his character BUT

theres a whole joke about japanese mangakas being worked to the bone to provide chapters every week or so for serialization even going so far as to hide or make excuses as to why they did not complete the chapter

i feel so bad for them bro i could not (used to do weekly updates for fics for 5 years before i started needing money bc i turned 18)

also. someone give that man fox ears and a tail.

The Alphonse guy - Invisi Billy

idk what invisi billy is but he can be here helping alphonse hide from the shame of his chunnibyou :D

Makoto's rival guy - Banshee

it just. Suits Him.

idk if there are male banshees bc we only know sarah screams and her mom but we can have a trans icon if we need

[wizardcommune]

aaaaaa i also love urbosa (i’m the previous anon that asked for her ehe) i am just a Little Lesbian who is starved for content... is it too much to ask for sfw alphabet with her? i really don’t think you write her out of character like you worry in the tags :>

urbosa sfw alphabet

a/n - THANK YOU!!! that means so much to hear fndbsngm 

also, i’m so sorry about the wait on this one!! my school’s trimester is ending early so i’ve been trying to raise my grades at mach twenty. i do have a break now though, so i’ll be able to write more frequently!!

pairing - urbosa x reader

warnings - none!!

a = affection (how affectionate are they? how do they show affection?)

urbosa prefers giving verbal affection, and receiving physical affection! she compliments you as often as possible

b = best friend (what would they be like as a best friend? how would the friendship start?)

as a best friend, she teases you a lot. she's like a big sister

but like. y’know. not in a weird way,,

c = cuddles (do they like to cuddle? how would they cuddle?)

she does! she’s not an extremely touchy person, but it would be comforting to hold you

her favorite positions are to lay on her back and put your head on her chest or shoulder, or spooning. no matter your height, She Will Always Be The Big Spoon

d = domestic (do they want to settle down? how are they at cooking and cleaning?)

urbosa would still want to lead gerudo town as chieftain, but she’d settle down more in terms of fighting. she wouldn’t want to risk herself as much considering you were there

honestly i feel like urbosa is just That Person who fucking sucks at cooking. she knows it too; she’ll just kind of stare blankly at you in pain if you suggest she cook

e = ending (if they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

f = fiance(e) (how do they feel about commitment? how quick would they want to get married?)

she would be fine with the idea of commitment! she would want to wait at least a few years before considering marriage. it’s a weighty decision and she doesn’t want to make the wrong choice since it could harm both of you

g = gentle (how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

she’s very gentle with you! definitely not as much as someone like mipha, but she’s very careful not to accidentally hurt you

h = hugs (do they like hugs? how often do they do it? what are their hugs like?)

urbosa doesn’t hug you often, but she shows physical affection in other ways. i.e. gently pulling you to lean on her when sitting down, keeping a hand on the small of your back, running her hands through your hair (if she can), etc.

i = i love you (how fast do they say the L-word?)

probably a couple months at least? (i've never been in a relationship so is that normal????) 

she’ll say it on a calmer night, when the yiga clan is silent for once and king rhoam hasn’t called for her help. on rare days like these, she’s accustomed to drawing a bath that smells good as hell, so you’ll be really comfy and probably sleepy LMAO

will tell you right before you fall asleep when she’s thinks you aren’t awake!!! once she realizes you are, will 100% give u a forehead kiss 

j = jealousy (how jealous do they get? what do they do when they’re jealous?)

urbosa doesn’t get jealous very often, mainly pissed if someone won’t stop harassing you. she’ll wrap an arm around your waist, and if they aren’t already intimidated (they’d have to be drunk or just have The Audacity) she won’t hesitate to roast tf out of them. if you thought her teasing you was bad, it’s terrifying now. she won’t hold back

k = kisses (what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss you? where do they like to be kissed?)

she honestly doesn’t have a preference on where to be kissed! she likes kissing you on the shoulder, forehead, and hand the most. :))

l = little ones (how are they around children?)

she’s actually really good with kids! even before she became chieftain, she liked hanging out + playing pretend with them

something really cool about urbosa that the kids like is that she treats them with high respect and talks to them like adults!!! (but very sensitive adults at that; she doesn’t tease them much. kids deserve kindness and you bet she’s gonna fulfill that)

m = morning (how are mornings spent with them?)

she prefers long hours of sleep + waking up late. so if it’s a chill day when you’re not needed for anything, she’ll stay with you in bed for hours

if she wasn’t able to sleep as much, she’ll be lowkey grumpy in the mornings until she gets her tea

n = night (how are nights spent with them?)

like the mornings, she drinks tea a lot before bed. she gives me jasmine or chamomile tea energy???? idk

long baths are a must, especially since it’s so sandy,,, everywhere,,,,

she’s the type to have a ton of candles and nice soaps and stuff, so she always smells really good before bed

o = open (when would they start revealing things about themselves? do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

pretty early in the relationship! she trusts you enough to talk about things that are bothering her/have in the past. 

although, i’m not sure if she’d talk about zelda’s mother and stuff like that due to privacy reasons. unless zelda herself didn’t express concern over it, she’d keep the details pretty tight

p = patience (how easily angered are they?)

unless you’re a yiga member, urbosa’s patience is very thick. i literally cannot think of a time she would get fully mad at you?? 

if you ever put yourself in danger, (especially for her) she would definitely scold you. never angry, though

q = quizzes (how much would they remember about you? do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

urbosa remembers things even you don’t remember. mainly things you point out at a marketplace or something. 

(on that note, she is absolutely the type to spoil you. you can mention a pretty flower in rito village in passing and she’ll be convincing revali to go get it for you within an hour)

r = remember (what is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

IM SORRY I COULDNT THINK OF ANYTHING FOR THIS ONE EITHER

s = security (how protective are they? how would they protect you? how would they like to be protected?)

very protective!! even if you can fight/are a champion, she’ll subconsciously be protecting you in battle. 

she doesn’t want you to worry about protecting her, honestly. (tbh she lowkey likes when you lean on her for safety)

t = try (how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

she puts a lot of effort into them!! she actually finds it really fun to get to plan dates and stuff. she loves giving gifts and they are always very well thought out!!

u = ugly (what would be some bad habits of theirs?)

bold of you to assume urbosa isn’t perfect

v = vanity (how concerned are they with their looks?)

she does care about her looks, but only because it makes her feel good!! as long as she looks professional and clean, urbosa could care less about what other people think.

w = whole (would they feel incomplete without you?)

urbosa is comfortable enough with herself to be okay without a partner, but that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t hurt. if you ever were to get hurt/leave her, she would be crushed, but she would be able to heal.

x = xtra (a random headcanon for them.)

she hates the cold with a burning passion and anytime she has to go to the tundra, she’s grumpy the whole time

y = yuck (what are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

i couldn’t think of a partner one, but she’s scared of dogs for some reason. she is a cat person and they lowkey freak her out

z = zzz (what are some sleep habits of theirs?)

even though she has guards, being the chieftain means either of you could be put in danger at any time. because of this, she’s a fairly light sleeper. she’s also pretty protective in her sleep! she’ll pull you close to her and keep a hand on the back of your neck or stomach

[porkchop-ao3]

A Thrill I’ve Never Known (Chapter 57)

Agent Wilson

This one’s a pretty long one, I hope it makes up for the week I missed. Just a warning for some mild sexual references, and there’s a little angst too. I hope you enjoy! Shit’s about to kick off lemme tell you :P

I really hope the formatting of this isn’t fucked up somehow. I’m having some computer problems and I don't have chrome installed right now so I’m using Microsoft edge, and it seems a little different when pasting this stuff in. Idk. Hopefully it’s fine. 

Tagging @emily-strange ❤

(All chapters tagged with #ATINK and also posted on Ao3, username PorkChop)

-

Our campsite was thankfully untouched after our short trip away, though there wasn't really much worth stealing anyway, besides an old tent. When we arrived back, Arthur immediately started cooking up some of the wolf meat for us, some generous slabs that he seasoned with oregano for a little more flavour. It smelled delicious, I hadn't noticed how hungry I'd become, and I was salivating long before it was ready to eat.

"You feeling a little better now that you've had a night away?" He asked me.

"My head feels clearer,” I nodded, "feel like I can breathe again. I'm not really looking forward to going back but I know we have to.”

"We'll be fine. It'll all have been forgotten about, just like when I kicked his teeth in."

"Do you think I should apologise, clear the air?" I asked. Arthur chuckled, then realised I was seriously asking.

"If it'd make you feel better, then– but that tells him that you were in the wrong, and he'll go 'round thinking that he can just get away with doing what he wants. Including touching you, which I ain't having. If you hadn't throttled him, I would've, and I certainly wouldn't've apologised," he said, spearing some cooked meat on a fork and handing it to me. I thanked him and blew on it to cool it.

"You're right. He shouldn't've touched me," I said.

"I'd say just steer clear. Don't let him pull you in, just ignore anything he says. He ain't worth it," he advised, and I let his words sink in. He was right.

"How long do you think we could get away with staying out here?" I asked. He glanced up at me from the fresh lump of meat he was cooking over the fire. He thought for a while.

"I think," he began slowly, then sighed, a guilty look appearing on his face, "I gotta see Dutch today. I promised Charles I'd go and speak to Rains Fall, but then I gotta meet a few people from Wapiti and Dutch. He's got something planned with Eagle Flies, wants me to be there."

"What's Dutch wanna do with him?" I questioned, then took a bite of meat.

"I… I don't know. It don't feel right; I got a feeling he's planning on using him and the situation his people're in as some kind of opportunity," he sighed. I frowned deeply. "It's an ugly business, I'm hoping I can help keep things from getting too out of hand."

"Out of hand, how?"

"Like if Eagle Flies and the others fight back hard enough, it might only land them in more trouble. Rains Fall can see that, but his son's a little hard to convince, apparently."

I nodded in recognition. "Charles told me a little of this while you were away, he was helping them back then. I feel like I should do something–"

"No. Not now Dutch has his hands on the situation, I don't want you near it. 'Sides, your leg ain't healed yet. I bet Susan'll have some words for both of us when we get back as it is," he was quick to respond. I exhaled and looked away. "But anyway, all this means I gotta head off soon."

My heart thumped. "What if I wanted to stay?"

Arthur's mouth opened but nothing came out for a few long moments. "Well, if you wanted to, I couldn't stop you."

I looked down and considered it as an option for a while, chewing and swallowing some more food before continuing. "We could ride back, then I'll pick up a few extra things from camp and come back here while you go and do what you've gotta do. Then I guess, if you wanna come here again when you're done, you can," I suggested. "But that's up to you. I just don't feel ready to go back yet."

"You'll be okay out here alone, with your injury? With the wolves?” He asked, not doubtful, but genuinely asking.

"I think so. I'll have my rifle, and I'll keep my wits about me," I told him, though my confidence did waver a bit at the mention of wolves, "maybe I'll even go and drop in on Mrs. Balfour tomorrow."

"Yeah?" He smiled a little.

"You think that'd be okay? Or should I– maybe she don't want to see me. You're the one who helped her, after all," I murmured, finishing off my food.

"I think she'd appreciate it," he nodded his head, biting into his own cooked meat and speaking only after he'd swallowed, "she ain't had a good time of it. She could use some kindness."

"I'm a little worried about her, not being able to hunt."

"We'll do something about that," he reassured me.

"You're a sweet man, Arthur. Ain't many men who'd help a woman like that, 'least not without wanting something in return," I said, and he shrugged dismissively. "I'm serious. You're a gem. You helped me get out safely that night in Blackwater. You helped Penelope get away with her love. And you're helping Charlotte. And Mrs. Downes–"

"Mrs. Downes wouldn't need help if it weren't for me, and Strauss' scams," he cut me off. I exhaled quietly.

"Don't, Arthur. You're always denying the good things people say about you," I shook my head. He kept his eyes on mine for a while, his mouth open a little, but he never spoke. "You're a gem," I repeated.

He didn't respond, but he exhaled something close to a laugh and a bashful smile appeared on his face. He continued eating his breakfast, finishing off the chunk of meat speared by his knife. When he was done he reached into his satchel and pulled out his journal, crossing his legs and flicking through the pages until he came upon a blank one. I watched him idly as he started jotting things down inside. Curiosity got the better of me.

"What're you writing about?" I asked him. He cleared his throat and made me wait a while before answering.

"About last night," he said. I thought back, mind filtering through our evening until it settled on what we'd done in his tent. I imagined myself pressed up against his back, my hand inside his union suit, pressing kisses to his neck and his shoulder as he hummed out quiet moans, the slick sound of my hand on him just barely audible. My face flushed warm.

"About what I…" I trailed off. His face was blank for a moment, then he laughed at the realisation.

"No, not that," he said. "Just about what happened with Micah, how we came out here. How nice it was to be alone again, you know, I always miss this when we're back at camp," he elaborated, looking up at me.

"Yeah me too," I nodded.

"I will come back here after I've done what I've gotta do. We'll spend another night here together, at least."

"That makes me happy," I beamed, shuffling close to him and hugging his arm, leaning my head on his shoulder. Arthur went back to writing, I didn't read what he put but I was touched that he didn't mind that I was so close while he wrote. But I did glance down as he started flicking back through the book; I just wanted to see more of his lovely drawings. One page caught my eye; it was full of drawings of birds, but none like I'd seen in person before, only in artwork. They looked exotic. I stopped him on that page, and enquired about them.

"These were in Guarma. When I came back, I wrote down everything I remembered. Drew some things too," he explained. "The whole island was full of parrots. Brightest coloured feathers I ever saw, these drawings don't do 'em justice."

"Well, I think they're beautiful, even without the colour," I told him, leaning closer to inspect his sketches. A whole spread of them, some close ups of their heads, others of them taking flight, they were all lovely. I was glad to see that something nice had come out of the whole ordeal. "You haven't spoken much about Guarma," I said gingerly.

Arthur nodded, and he was still for a moment.

"It weren't easy talking about it when I first got back," he admitted. I was careful with how I phrased my next question, not wanting to pressure him.

"If you ever wanted to talk about it, you know I'm here, right?"

"Yeah, I know. Just felt like too much to go into. None of it was nice, I don't want you getting upset about it," he revealed. My lips parted silently, and it took me some time to know what to say.

"I know you're alive and you're okay. So, I couldn't get too upset now," I said.

"I don't remember much from the first day or two," he said, "but I think they're easier to talk about."

"Yeah?" I shifted, sitting upright so I could look at him.

"The boat went down in the night. We were all sleeping and suddenly we had to get up, the sea was so choppy; we was getting thrown around like ragdolls. Anyway, we got split up. Dutch and the others got out on a boat, but I… didn't," he began. I frowned deeply at the revelation but let him carry on. "That's when things get hazy. I know I went into the water but I don't know nothing about how I lived long enough to wash up on that island,

"Nor do I remember much about what I did when I got there. Think I just walked, looking for people. Eventually I saw smoke and I followed it; that's how I regrouped with the others. But we got captured soon after that. Javier got shot, we went off with some feller, weren't from Guarma. Hercule, his name was. And that's– that's when–"

Arthur stopped and he was frowning. I reached over and squeezed his knee.

"Well, I said I'd help with some situation the workers on the island was in. Reckon I got shot by a tranquilizer dart, woke up to getting the shit smacked out of me by some angry feller," he shook his head. "Anyway, we all ended up helping Hercule with some things, he was getting us a boat off the island."

"What sort of things?"

Arthur shook his head and exhaled audibly, "fighting against Fussar, the man who was in charge. He was at the party at the mayor's house, believe it or not. Maybe you saw him, he was the one with all the medals and whatnot," he gestured to his chest and I thought back. I had vague recollections of such a man, but I hadn't paid much attention at the time.

"Yeah, I think," I nodded.

"Dutch and I saved Javier from where him and his army were keeping him, then, to cut a long story short, I killed him. He knew who we was and weren't letting us off the island, so he had to go. Though my sense is the world will be a better place without him, anyway."

"And then you came back?"

"And then we came back," he nodded. He sighed heavily, then met my eyes. "That's about it, summed up. I also blew up a warship with a cannon, watched Dutch strangle an old lady to death, and saw way more of Micah's pot-belly than I ever needed to. So yeah, it weren't a nice trip, and every day I just wanted to be back home."

I couldn't even laugh at the slice of humour Arthur tried to bring in about Micah's stomach. I reached for him, squeezing his upper arm and stroking it comfortingly.

"That's a lot to go through," I whispered. He stared at me for a moment, his eyes widened slightly, mouth parted a little. He looked stunned. Sad. Like he was realising that yes, it was a lot to go through. Then he exhaled sharply and looked away.

"Well, least I got to see a tropical island. Probably never would've seen anything like it otherwise, never mind what Dutch says about us all being mango farmers," it was a poor attempt at finding a silver lining, just like my thoughts about Arthur's beautiful drawings. I didn't take away from it, though.

"Yeah, at least there's that," I leaned over and kissed his shoulder.

"Dare I say it might've been quite nice if I'd gone there on purpose, and you were there too, and there weren't no Fussar bullshit to deal with," he breathed a laugh. "Even so, ain't thinking of going back."

"I'm content with Blackwater being the most exotic and far out place I've ever visited," I chuckled, and he joined me.

"Anyway, I better get going. Shall we pack up? We'll do like you said, head back and I'll get Jet, then you can come back here with some fresh clothes and some more food. We've even got some pelts for Pearson so he can't whine too much about his helper leaving with a few cans of vegetables."

"Sure, though I feel a little bad now you put it like that," I murmured.

"Don't. I damn well paid for most of it anyway," he told me with a bitter, annoyed edge to his voice that almost made me smile because it seemed to me, if only for a second, Arthur was accepting all he did for the gang. And how sometimes, it wasn't fair.

"Is there anything I can do for you, lighten the load a little?"

"No–" he began automatically, then paused. "Actually, I got some stuff needs selling to a fence, jewellery and the like. John told me all those months ago that you was good with bartering with the trapper, maybe a clever, pretty lady like you'll get a better deal than me."

"I'll give it my best shot," I grinned.

We got moving, deconstructing our little camp and putting out the fire. We rode back to Beaver Hollow, and when we hitched Rayna up with the other horses, Arthur stopped to kiss me once before telling me where he was keeping the jewellery, and asking me to be discreet when I retrieved it. He headed straight off, telling me to be safe and promising to return to me later on at Brandywine Drop. I watched him ride off on his own horse before walking into camp.

My heart was pounding. I scanned the place, seeing people glance up from what they were doing to look at me. They didn't stare or say anything, and I quickly realised that things were just as Arthur had assured me; people had pretty much forgotten about my outburst and weren't at all bothered. But then again, Micah wasn't around, and I did wonder if he would have something to say next time we crossed paths.

I went straight to Pearson's wagon, finding the man himself sitting behind it smoking a cigarette. He seemed pretty down most days, quiet and morose but irritable when bothered. I trod carefully when I approached him.

"Morning, Mr. Pearson," I said. He lifted his head, addressing me with a mildly surprised gaze.

"Ahh, there she is. Thought you weren't coming back, the way you left yesterday," he chuckled.

"Mm, not my finest hour," I sighed leaning up against the wagon and pressing my boot against a stone on the ground, pressing it into the mud. "Being stuck at camp, doing nothing, maybe I went a little stir crazy."

"You feeling better now?" He asked. I pursed my lips and met his eyes.

"A little," I said. "I uh, I'm gonna spend another day away from camp. Arthur and I are sleeping up at Brandywine Drop."

His brows raised a little, "oh, okay. You want me to tell Dutch when he gets back–"

"No. You needn't say anything to anyone. I just thought it'd be a good idea for someone to know where we are," I shrugged. "Mind if I steal a little food?"

He sighed, but waved a hand towards the wagon.

"Thank you," I smiled at him sweetly and he chuckled, shaking his head at me.

I rounded the wagon and gathered a couple of things; some canned sweetcorn, biscuits, ground coffee and some strawberries for something sweet. We wouldn't need a lot of food, we still had plenty of meat left from the wolves and I knew I could forage some carrots and berries around the river as well if need be.

"By the way, I have some meat and some pelts for you," I called to Pearson. I heard him shuffle and grunt as he pushed himself to his feet and rounded the wagon to join me. "Three wolf pelts. There's some meat wrapped up in the saddlebag, on Rayna."

"Thank god," he breathed, and started heading towards the horses, "was starting to think we'd have to start eating each other."

"Just leave enough for me and Arthur," I called to him, slipping away the supplies in my satchel and then heading across the camp to our tent.

I pulled some fresh clothes from my suitcase, laying them out on the bed, then bent down to Arthur's own chest. I retrieved some clothes for him too, placed them with mine, then reached right to the bottom of his chest until I felt the drawstring bag he'd mentioned to me. I discreetly pulled it out and placed it on top of our clothes, rolling it up to create a nice little bundle that would fit into my saddlebag.

"Are you leaving?" John asked, calling out from his place at the campfire.

"Yeah," I answered simply.

"Shit, does Arthur know?" He exclaimed, getting up and coming over. I looked at him with a mild frown.

"Arthur's coming with me," I told him. He stared with his mouth hanging open, and I was so confused until I replayed the conversation in my head and realised what he thought I meant. "Oh, we're not leaving leaving, for good. Just another night."

"Oh, right," he exhaled, a hand smacking to his chest. He blew through his pursed lips and chuckled. "Had me worried for a second."

"Don't worry, if we leave we'll be sure to drag you kicking and screaming, too," I said, half joking.

"Right," he laughed, shaking his head. "Anyway, how'd it feel to have your hands round Micah's neck?"

"They weren't there long enough to really take notice," I sighed, tucking the bundle of clothes under my arm. "I couldn't say."

"You could try, sure would be nice to find out," he smirked. I rolled my eyes with a sigh.

"Where is he anyway?" I asked.

John glanced around. "I don't know. Probably out there terrorising some poor innocent folk."

"How's he been? I mean, has he said much about what happened?"

"Not really. Everything kind of just went back to normal once you and Arthur left, you know how it is."

"Good," I nodded. "And Dutch?"

"Dutch," he scoffed, "he still ain't speaking to me, much. Not like I really want him to."

"I wonder who he hates more, you or me," I snorted. "Anyway, I gotta go. Have an errand to run, then I'm heading back out for another night. Just need time away, try and pull myself together."

"You okay on your own?"

"Course," I smiled, "Arthur said he'd join me later on, he's got plenty to do today."

"Well, you just take care, alright?" He patted my arm. "If anything happened to you, Morgan would be hell to live with."

I breathed a laugh and shook my head at him. I wrapped my free arm around his shoulders and pulled him in for a hug. He made a surprised grunt, but returned my hug quickly, if a little awkwardly.

"John, I'm… I'm real glad I met you," I whispered.

"Yeah, me too, Miss," he replied quietly, almost shyly, patting my back before releasing me. I stepped back and looked up at him. The little smile he wore made me chuckle, it was clear he wasn't used to much friendly affection.

"I'll see you later," I told him, then ducked out from under the cover of the tent.

"Sure," he nodded, watching me go.

-

I hitched Rayna up outside the saloon in Van Horn, figuring I could go for a short drink after selling the jewellery. I dug the drawstring bag of treasure out of my saddlebag, tucking it into my satchel before feeding Rayna an apple.

"Won't be long, baby," I whispered to her, patting her neck.

I headed along the path towards the edge of Van Horn, taking a breath and becoming reacquainted with the place after such a long time. It looked even more run down than the last time I'd visited, and I almost couldn't believe that I used to like the place. It still had that weird, out of the way, different feel to it, which I guess was part of its charm. It was a real unique place.

I reached the end of the wooden boardwalk where the fence was situated, and entered. I was greeted by a thick Scottish accent.

"Hello there," he said, his tone cheery.

"Hey, mister. How you doing today?" I asked, giving him a big smile.

"Not too bad, yourself? That's a nasty limp you've got," he noted, nodding towards my leg. I might've hammed it up a bit on my way in, in a bid to appeal to his sympathetic side.

"Oh, I got burned," I told him a little breathlessly. That was genuine; I was surprised how much energy it took to move around when I was conscious of my injury. "But I'm… I'm fine."

"You sure? You need help with that bag?" He nodded towards the canvas drawstring tucked under my arm, and I shook my head.

"I got it. It's actually what I came to show you; got some things to sell," I told him, putting the bag down on the counter, hearing the clink of its contents. I pulled open the drawstring and reached inside, not even fully aware what was in there, just that Arthur had collected it all over the past few months and hadn't had the chance to sell it before the Guarma situation. Penelope's bracelet was somewhere inside; her reward for all of his help.

I pulled out the first thing my hand touched; a smaller bag. It was filled with assorted rings, earrings, pearls.

"I usually buy bundles like that for fifty," the fence told me, "I don't have time to go through the whole lot and value individually."

"Sure, okay, but just for this little bag. There's more in here, some is worth far more than that," I told him, getting my insistence in early, making sure he knew I wasn't going to accept pittance. I flipped the bigger canvas bag and gently emptied it onto the counter.

Inside, I counted seven gold rings, a pocket watch, a necklace that appeared to be platinum, a sapphire encrusted bracelet that I guessed was Penelope's…And rather disturbingly, a gold tooth. The fence inspected the lot, checking for markings, its condition. He picked up Penelope's bracelet, scrutinising it more closely, watching the light dance within the stunning blue stones.

"This is really nice. I won't ask how you acquired it," he said, and I had to chuckle considering it was probably the most honestly acquired of the bunch. He never said a word about the tooth. "I'll give you seventy-five for the bracelet. The other stuff… one hundred."

"A hundred and seventy-five for the whole lot? But this is platinum. And the pocket watch and all the rest of it is gold. You can do a little better than that, sir. That bracelet's gotta be worth a hundred on its own," I raised my brows at him. He met my eyes over the bracelet and chuckled.

"I can do one-eight-five," he offered. I pursed my lips, clasping my hands together and tilting my head at him. He laughed again, shaking his head at me. He put the bracelet down and stared at the lot.

"You can do two-hundred. You know you can," I said cheekily. He blew a jet of air between his lips, brows jumping. "Pretty please?"

"You're gonna try sweet-talking me, Miss?" He accused, humoured.

"What do you say? A tidy two-hundred?" I offered my hand out. He considered, looking at my outstretched hand.

"Two-hundred…" he muttered, then roughly took my hand, shaking it once.

"Yes! Thank you, sir!" I cheered, clapping my hands together.

"Since you're so polite," he murmured, turning to his register and opening it up. He counted out the money and handed it over. I tucked it away in the bottom of my bag, and was as aware of it as I was the revolver at my hip.

"Much appreciated, you take care, now," I nodded at him, spinning on my heel and heading out before he had the chance to change his mind.

"You too, madam, watch that leg," he called, and I smiled over my shoulder at him.

I took a deep breath of the salty air, smiling on the sharp exhale, and started heading back up the boardwalk towards dry land. I headed for the saloon, where Rayna was still hitched. I gave her a rub on the neck before stepping up onto the deck and entering the saloon. I glanced around once I was inside; spotting a mix of characters. Mostly drunk locals lounging about the place, a couple of women, and some more sharply dressed men at the back of the room. I took a spot at the bar, leaning my elbows on it and greeting the lady serving.

"Can I get a beer, please?" I asked, sliding a coin across the bar. She cracked open the cap of a bottle and placed it in front of me, "thanks," I added.

I took a first sip, sighing out at the quiet moment in the saloon. Well, it wasn't quiet, the place was full of chatter and noise, but quiet in the sense that it was normal. I was just sitting at a bar, having a drink, on my own. Something I hadn't done since before I joined the Van Der Linde gang. Not that for a second I missed this kind of life, not once Arthur and I grew close, but it was a nice if not strange reprieve from my new reality.

"Whiskey, please, ma'am," one of the well dressed men from the back of the room appeared beside me. He was quiet while he waited for his drink, but I sensed him looking at me. I wasn't in the mood to speak to anyone, so I kept my eyes on my beer.

"Here you go, officer," the barmaid said as she handed him his drink, and my heart thumped.

"You just come in, Miss?" He asked, and I knew he was speaking to me. I lifted my head. The gentleman was raven-haired and had skin so pale it was almost sickly, a pair of waxy, dull grey eyes and a large mole on his cheek. He wore a clean suit and his hair bore the flattened style of someone who wore a hat until sitting down at a table.

"Uh, yeah. Couple minutes ago," I nodded, then averted my eyes.

"My colleagues and I did the rounds already; we're asking folks around here a few questions. There's been a criminal gang pass through these parts," he said. My lips parted and my eyes widened, a gasp sucking in without my permission. "You alright, Miss?"

"Is… is it safe to be here?" I asked, straightening up and looking around anxiously.

He breathed a laugh and smiled reassuringly. "Me and those fellers back there," he turned and glanced their way, and I followed his gaze. "We're with the Pinkerton Detective Agency. It's our job to keep people safe, while we're around, you ain't got nothing to worry about."

"Well, that sure is a relief," I exhaled, hoping my nerves wouldn't seem suspicious, given the circumstance.

"We're here mostly to ensure the people of Van Horn remain vigilant while these people are in the area, and also to make them aware that there's people they can report to should they notice anything odd," he continued, taking a sip of whiskey with his pause, "are you aware of the Van Der Linde gang, Miss?"

"Well, sure, I've read the name in the papers. I try not to get too caught up in it, however, frays my nerves," I told him. "But it's never been so close to home before," I shook my head.

"We understand that the gang's leader and four other men passed through here when they arrived back in the country via boat. They were in the state of Lemoyne for some time, and after a raid of their settlement they… they escaped capture and we believe they headed up this way. We're patrolling the area, but we're asking that people sound the alarm if they spot any of the people we're looking for. I have some photographs," he told me, reaching into his inner jacket pocket.

"You do?" I murmured quietly, looking at him through the corner of my eye as I sipped my beer– well, pretended to. I couldn't trust myself to swallow it without choking while I was so tense.

The Pinkerton placed a pile of small photographs in front of me. On the top of the stack, was Dutch.

"These men do not make up the entirety of the gang, there is a group of more than twenty men, women… and children," he sighed, then tapped on Dutch's face, "all following Dutch Van Der Linde."

"More than twenty? That's a big group. And you ain't managed to track 'em down yet?" I cocked a brow at him.

He chuckled at my criticism, droning some excuses while I ceased to listen, picking up the photographs and shuffling through them. They were all mugshots; Javier, Bill, John, Charles… of course, Arthur. I stared at his photo, his straight, unhappy face, his cold, level gaze, his strong jaw and lips pressed tight together in a threatening line. He was him, but so different to the version of him I was familiar with. This was the way they saw him.

"Do you recognise this man?" The Pinkerton's words pulled me out of my head and I met his eyes. My lips parted but I struggled to find something to say.

"No, he's just–" I stammered, looking back at the photo, "I realise it may be inappropriate given what a terrible man he is, but I can't help but notice what a handsome face he has," I breathed a laugh.

He hummed, polite but with distaste. He took the photos back and put them away in his pocket. "You're not the first woman to have made such comments. I would've hoped they'd have more sense, or better taste."

Something flickered in me. A twinge of possession. It reared its ugly head now and again and each time I battered it into submission.

"He's probably awful, though. A pretty face means nothing, then," I said, the corner of my lip curling up. I was suddenly having a little fun talking to the enemy, while he had absolutely no idea who I was. "I couldn't imagine how awful it'd be to be courted by such a man. To run with that gang. All those awful, heartless men," I tutted.

"This is the sort of poison we're trying to save America from. These outlaws, they– they tarnish this land. Take all that is pure and stain it with the blood of the innocent, and all the while do it with an entitled sense of invincibility as if they are free from all consequence. How they live like that and still sleep at night is beyond me."

"Beyond me," I agreed, nodding slowly. "It's terrible."

"We have had small victories, however. A member of the Van Der Linde gang was shot dead in the streets of Saint Denis last month; Hosea Matthews," he told me. My stomach turned and I looked at him, trying not to let him anger me. "I was told the others watched it, he died right in front of them," his mean laugh made me want to knock his block off.

"That so?" I hummed.

"They said the look on Van Der Linde's face was better than any paycheck," his teeth practically shone with his grin and I looked at them, wondering what it'd be like to see him picking them up off the floor. I would never try it, of course.

"Well, Mr…” I began, offering my hand to him.

"Mr. Wilson," he took my hand and shook it.

"It's been a pleasure talking with you, but I must get going," I said.

"Of course. And it's been a pleasure talking to you too, Miss…" he replied, and I didn't answer his prompt to give him my name. Not even my alias. I just took my beer and walked out the door.

I paused for a moment outside, bringing the bottle to my lips and gulping down the last of it, tossing the empty bottle aside carelessly before striding over to Rayna and mounting her, side-saddle. I clicked at her, turning her away from the hitching post and onto the road, away from the agents.

[lillyblogs]

[Insinuation 2.7]

(Sorry about posting these out of chronological order; I didn't have a Tumblr blog yet when I first posted this one. Also, consider my liveblogs of 1.1 -> 2.6 lost to the ether.) [Insinuation 2.7] Brian and Alec were good looking guys, in very different ways. Lisa was, on the sliding scale between plain and pretty, more pretty than not. So Taylor admits to checking all of them out and also to finding them all attractive. Undersider harem when? Bug Please don't stick please don't stick I still want her name to be something cool like Myriad, but there's bound to be something of a joke to it. Lisa, though, put one of her arms around my shoulders and gave me a one-armed squeeze of a hug. She was a little older than I was, so she was just tall enough to be at the perfect height to do it. What caught me off guard was how nice the gesture felt. Taylor is attracted to girls theory: Confirmed?????? Actually, I get the impression that Lisa is supposed to be this but it's not quite coming across right and makes it seem like she has a thing for Taylor. We passed a twenty-something artist and his girlfriend, sitting on the sidewalk with paintings propped up around them. The girl waved at Lisa as we walked by, and Lisa waved back. Guessing she's an important character, a cape probably, but not one of the Undersiders. Circus? Spitfire? IDK I know too few names at this point. Alternatively, that was Uber and Leet. If that's the case, Leet was probably the girl and Uber the artist. If Tattletale's really a hacker, it'd make sense for her to be friends with someone named Leet. I supposed they might have a TiVo, though I’d never seen one. TiVo?????? Seriously, though, the Undersiders have a pretty fucking sweet loft. Also, Alec's an artist apparently. Knowing young fiction, this will either be the only thing he talks about ever or he'll never mention it again. ```“I’m jealous,” I admitted, meaning it.

“Dork,” Alec said, “What are you jealous for?”

“I meant it’s cool,” I protested, a touch defensively.

Lisa spoke before Alec could reply, “I think what Alec means is that this is your place now too. This is the team’s space, and you’re a member of the team, now.”How all great friendships start.“Last time he went up against Shadow Stalker, he came back here and bled all over a white couch,” Lisa groused, “nine hundred dollar couch and we had to replace it.”

“Fucking Shadow Stalker,” Alec commiserated.OOOH! Shadow Stalker sounds like they might be a rival villain. (Part of Faultline's group, maybe? Or perhaps the Empire, though the Undersiders don't seem to have major issues with them yet.) Can't wait to see them.Brian came back from the other end of the loft, raising his voice to be heard as he approached, “Rache’s not here, and neither are her dogs. She must be walking them or working. Dammit. I get stressed when she’s out.” He approached the couches and saw Alec sprawled on the one.OK now I'm 99% percent sure Brian and this Rachel girl are a couple, or he wants them to be. Or alternatively, she really is a mass-murderer with a dog fetish and that's why he's worried. Either way, isn't her identity public? If so, _why_ does she walk her own dogs, instead of having the other Undersiders do it for her? Indication of obsession? Possessiveness? Or maybe they have someone who can disguise people; Regent, maybe? Not sure if it would fit with his name, though. Regent, to me, suggests he might be part of some sort of Parahuman lineage (not sure how far back it could possibly go, since didn't Scion only appear in the 80s?) and that his power is _really fucking good_. He's their heavy hitter, the one who packs the most punches. Maybe he's a mini-Superman, complete with the "powers as the plot demands".“We’ll get you one,” he said, like it wasn’t even a concern. It probably wasn’t. “We generally haul in anywhere from ten grand to thirty-five grand for a job. That gets divided four ways… five ways now that you’re on the team.”Sounds like Taylor will be rich very quickly; she'll probably be against spending the money at first but give in after a little. She is the Queen Of Slippery Slopes, after all. In fact, I suspect the Undersiders are aware of that, b/c of Tattletale and are actively baiting her into falling all the way down and becoming a villain. However, they probably won't like the new, unrestricted Taylor Hebert.“I do know everything,” Lisa said, “It’s my power.”Still thinking superpowered hacker, possibly with some sort of tinkery flavor to it, with a probable focus on spying on and tracking people.“What?” I said, interrupting Brian. My heartbeat quickened, though I hadn’t exactly been relaxed to begin with, “You’re omniscient?”

Lisa laughed, “No, no. I do know things though. My power tells me stuff.”

Swallowing hard, hoping I wasn’t drawing attention by doing so, I asked, “Like?” Like why I was joining their team?

Lisa sat forward and put her elbows on her knees, “Like how I knew you were at the library when I sent me the messages. If I felt like it, and if I had the know how, I’m sure I could have figured it out by breaking into the website database and digging through the logs to find the address you connected from, but my power just let me skip that step like that.” She snapped her fingers.Damn it. I was wrong, wasn't I? But honestly that's a _horrifying_ power; she just _knows_ things she shouldn't. Like "everything about everyone ever", apparently. Perhaps it's some sort of weird form of clairvoyance; her power sees everything going on at once, but she can focus it on a specific person/area and it'll relay whatever it finds to her for her to make sense of with her deductive skills. Like having an omnipresent, invisible and intangible drone. Heck, maybe she's lying and she's just a Tinker with a specialty in surveillance and cloaking; would certainly explain how Rachel's able to regularly go outside, seemingly.Not giving him a chance to reply, she turned to me and explained, “My power fills in the gaps in my knowledge. I generally need some info to start from, but I can use details my power feeds me to figure out more stuff, and it all sort of compounds itself, giving me a steady flow of info.”Honestly I'm not entirely sure what she means by this, but it definitely seems like _every single one_ of my guesses as to her power was wrong.Lisa’s smile widened, “I’ll admit I cheated there. Figuring out passwords is pretty easy with my power. I dig through the PHQ’s digital paperwork and enjoy a little reality TV by way of their surveillance cameras when I’m bored. It’s useful because I’m not only getting the dirt from what I see, hear and read, but my power fills in the details on stuff like changes in their routine and the team politics.”At least I was right about her tendency to spy on people. And the PHQ's the _Protectorate_ ENE HQ, right? So essentially where the heroes work, and possibly live. Makes sense that Taylor wouldn't want to join the Wards if it's actually like that; she rather seems to enjoy having _something_ of a normal life and the ability to just go home and get away from this, to just be her father's daughter for a while. (Angsty plot twist: He's actually her stepdad, in addition to being a cape (maybe Armsmaster if he isn't a villain; tinkers seem sufficiently bullshit for that to work, and he was relatively nice to Taylor, if a bit businesslike-- _just like her father_.) and she learns both of these secrets at an inopportune time (perhaps after her first mission with the Undersiders?) and ends up leaving him and her civilian ID behind and moving in with the Undersiders full-time.)she grinned her vulpine smileNo way this isn't a fandom meme. Honestly, this just feels like such a memetic phrase and Wildbow _just keeps using it_. There are other ways to call someone sly and mischevious that don't involve how foxlike their smile is. Still thinking she's going to end up with Taylor, eventually and probably only temporarily. Unless she's also a double-agent. Would explain why she hasn't been the nicest to Taylor (she went out of her way to mess with her...), despite seemingly wanting her to join the team and seemingly caring about her. Grue, Alec and Rachel probably aren't going to double-cross the team, however. They seem like they're actually villains, albeit probably sympathetic ones. I can't wait to hear how despite seeming to only be in it for the money, they all have tragic backstories. Actually, perhaps having a tragic backstory is part of gaining powers; Taylor's got a lot of trauma and the Danny interlude did suggest that things turned from idyllic to tragic rather fast. And logically speaking, it makes sense that the villains would all have a lot of mental trauma; they're the people who society has chewed up and spat right out. Calling it right now that every Undersider is some kind of minority or other oppressed group: Brian: Black, possibly not straight. Possibly a single (adoptive?) parent? He seems close to the other Undersiders, so it doesn't seem like he'd live away from them by choice. If he's got a kid who he's desperately trying to keep away from this, things suddenly make sense. Or maybe a little sister/brother (I'm leaning towards sister), if he's too young to even be adopting children? Either way, he's definitely doing this for someone else's sake. If said person is old enough (i.e. 13+; I don't think the Undersiders would employ such a small child), they'll probably join the Undersiders after a few arcs of melodrama. Or if they're not, they'll do it (complete with the melodrama) after they grow up. Which Wildbow may only do so they can be paired with whichever Undersider doesn't get paired up, since I'm 100% sure they're going to end up a set of three couples, instead of a proper team of five. Bonus points if this hypothetical sister thinks Brian's a hero before learning the considerably more unsavory truth. Alec: He's definitely either gay or bi. There is no way that boy is straight. Also, he's got a French name, which is a pretty good sign he's going to be a Flamboyant Gay, especially if he picked it for himself. Lisa: A woman, also gay (probably). Possibly asexual, maybe? (She's definitely not aromantic, though; there needs to be at least something to use for shipping bait and "will-they-or-won't-they" tension, as Worm is basically YA.) Rachel: Maybe she's transgender? I'm guessing here. Didn't Taylor describe her as unladylike in appearance or something like that? Also possibly a butch lesbian* / gender non-conforming in some other way. *If she's a lesbian, Tattletale isn't one. It's a rule of how these things work. Though in that case, Tattletale wouldn't be a proper token character and would instead exist as a plot device / excuse for exposition and probably only exists to avert the Smurfette principle.They didn’t get a chance to tell me. I heard barking from downstairs. A matter of heartbeats later I was standing, three paces from the couch. Three snarling dogs had me backed against the wall, drool flying from their mouths as their teeth gnashed and snapped for my hands and face.``` Rachel can't control her dogs = confirmed? Or maybe she's a bit more unhinged than I was thinking, or both? I'm currently thinking that she's actually the sweetest and most innocent of the Undersiders, appearances be damned (it also makes her alias of "Bitch" rather ironic), but I could be extremely wrong. Since she works with dogs, she also probably has some skill as a vet, and probably acts as the Undersiders' medic as well.

I'm also starting to think that the Undersiders are using their actual names, and that they really do trust Taylor. Unless they're all lying about their names to each other as well as to Taylor, though they seem too much like fire-forged friends for that.

[elizabethrobertajones]

So I thought I had a nice easy DVD to just watch to kill a bit of the train journey before I ran out of laptop battery (fun fact: my laptop appears to have the battery life of watching an entire DVDs worth of episodes. Neat.)  and I could have a break from all the nonsense I've been dealing with since Berens stomped through the entire show flipping tables.

uh anyway 3x05 ends the MotW part with pretty much the "i need you to see me" moment to reveal a kid was poisoned by a parent, has been trapped in a child-like stasis ever since, and required their suriving parent who had been innocently blind to this and accidentally feeding the ongoing trauma (caught up in those stories!) and not even realising there was something that needed to be heard, while the grown adult trapped in this stasis is represented as a child in the state they were when the parent last interacted with what they think of as them...

I'm back with an internet connection but I cba to go look at all the meta from previous rewatches people have done to see if people thought the step mother was a John parallel already, but if you look at it like she was getting a huge emotional benefit from harming the girl and probably was messed up enough to not consider how she felt (I mean, to the point of poisoning her into a coma so obviously) then John's messed up expectations on Dean by this point in season 3, in an episode Sam and Dean use as a battle ground mirror to their situation they can SEE is one about Sam letting Dean go or not in the same way, we know also that the only reason Dean is dying is because of John's messed up expectations on him - even in season 2 they knew John was asking too much and shouldn't have said his last words to Dean. Only he did, and so that's the final nail in the coffin, literally. Anyway, tops off a lifetime of John putting an emotional burden on Dean - some of his OTHER last words to Dean were how he would look after John instead of vice versa which I think was supposed to  be a positive recognition finally of how much work Dean had done propping up the family and not a "wow that's fucked up sorry" :P Idk, bitter Dean!girl goggles against John - always have and always will be. So I can see a parallel by season 3 where the narrative is swinging around in clear recognition of this - Dream a Little Dream of Me is going to make this textual soon enough.

And in that respect the doctor, the father of the coma girl, was always a sort of benign Mary mirror, so it makes it even funnier to me that his role became literally a proto mirror to this scene WITH Mary and the vindication of the little girl getting her message across and being finally understood, and gaining closure and getting to move on as a result, just kind of blows me away because it's retroactively made the episode an incredible mirror out of what it already was, because previously there was no need for that scene to be a mirror until season 12 because Mary and Dean didn't have that relationship because it was so painfully one-sided that the doctor's role mirroring Mary's was a pretty pointless thing to talk about, since all the time she was off the map, it didn't even make sense to say she would need to understand Dean herself, because that requires us to be confident she has even half a chance of getting a POV in the story.

I can't tell if Berens did this deliberately or if the fact this episode has the exact same resolution as 12x22 is just coincidence, because that's some pretty obscure canon recollection for a MotW that doesn't seem to have a lot of notoriety that even, for example, the next one does for Kripke hating it so much and I thiiink was this on the list of episodes Chuck apologises for in 4x18?

Perhaps it goes right to the top and was a Dabb suggestion for how it had to go down, because watching these two episodes back to back you go from 12x22 to a feeling like in some other world I would be writing meta about 3x06 vs 12x13, 9x21 and 6x04 because of the concept of having a dead ship captain, summoning the ghost, and using it for the resolution of family drama by having them confront each other again (this is the episode where Sam invokes Cas as part of that spell which is always worth a giggle). I felt like 6x04 pulled on this episode loosely just for having a vengeful ghost out to get family drama resolved - specifically going after family members that killed each other, and watching season 10 recently plus comments in season 12 between Rowena and Crowley, they're dead set on killing each other, as part of the Worst Family parallel as they often are when their dynamic comes up. Unfortunately I just can't get my head around 12x13 enough to work out how this all fits together but I have to believe there was a serious intention to resolve some stuff thematically which never made its way onto the screen.

But this arc was always tied into the Cain & Abel stuff by bringing in "Seth" or Oskar, Rowena's favoured other son. (There was a lot of meta between 10x22 and 10x23 about "Seth" because of biblical connotations I think tying it directly into that family but I genuinely can't remember because I don't do Bible lore, like... at all. Anyway he was a spare 3rd forgotten brother from somewhere or other directly relevant, if not Cain and Abel's we-forgot-Adam comparison) and Oskar vs Gavin was something that... didn't really happen except for the comment that that was what it had all been about from Rowena. As the grand finale to the MacLeod family drama that Dabb started based on the model of 3x06, which specifically mentions that one brother killed the other in a very "Cain and Abel" way, I am kinda annoyed more than ever we didn't get a ghost ship 2 episode to show how things were all upside down and different in that dabb era way but... Ugh, I don't know. Some episodes you would suggest minor upgrades if you had the powers, others you'd just take back to the drawing board :P

But while we're on the subject of Cain and Abel, 3x06's last conversation also has a conversation that the "same circumstances you'd do the same" argument in 9x13 directly mirrors as in does backwards and to a completely different conclusion... Which I find fascinating especially as the episode namedrops Cain and Abel in the first place. And 3x04 (Carver's first episode) uses the phrase "brother's keeper", also from the Cain story, about Sam and Dean. I mean season 9 & 10 churned up a lot of season 3 and we went over most of this at the time... I have just somehow found a continuous ramble in something that makes enough sense to alarm me that I managed to segue between each subject of what was one line notes I made on the train. So, cool.

[reliquiaenfr]

slam DUNKS questions at ur lore like uhhhhh.,, 1, 10, 11, 15, 22, 31, 38?

and the crowd goes WILD! thanks man! ♥ questions here. under a read more bc there’s a lot

Write from the perspective of an outsider ofyour lair, what is their first impression? How have they discovered this group?How are they greeted?

i have actually written a short story from the perspective of an outsider to the clan! you can read it here. i actually love writing from the pov of a guest bc there’s so much creepy stuff that goes on in the lair that the residents are like ‘eh w/e that’s just another tuesday’ about lol. just for you epher:

Something had guided his wings around to the west. Despite being sure he could see a canyon snaking through the red rock below, he circled around the grassy plainlands and thickly treed flats towards the strait in the north. He couldn’t explain why to himself even as he did so, and he won’t be able to explain why to anyone who ever asks him (not even the lair’s residents), but a tingle runs down his spine when he descends towards the treetops so he skims them rather than trying to find a place to land.

And he finds a cove. The canyon spits sand and rivers out from beneath the trees and into the ocean and here there are docks bustling with activity. The tingling eases and he drops lower before tucking his wings to his sides and landing on the loose sand with a puff.

At first he is met only by the wary stares of beastfolk as they trot along the docks and pack crates onto their slender skiffs. Then a dragon spots him. The Imperial is huge and blue and almost impossible to look at, shimmering in the sunlight as if she can’t properly be perceived by regular sight.

She is polite and cheerful and touches her heart with her hand when she greets him, a smiling dragon (he assumes, anyway, he can hear the smile in her voice but it’s hard to see when she’s so luminescent). She shows him along the beachfront, pointing out clan members and explaining their purpose. A guard is always along the docks - to keep fights from happening between guests, she tells him, but the look in her eye suggests something else. There are merchants to trade with, should he feel so inclined; her son among them. But when the little Nocturne speaks it’s with a lilt and a smile and a turn of phrase that make his hackles rise without even looking at the wares. She points out the Assembly, in case he has something he wants to take up with the clan’s leadership. And eventually they make it to the Lodge, a place for guests to stay - for a small fee - and run by a bright little light spirit the Imperial introduces as Passage.

As she turns to leave him to settle in, however, she imparts one last piece of information - advice, even - and the gravity in her voice sends his stomach plunging to his feet.

“Do not leave the docks.” Those are all her words, no explanation is given. But he shivers all the same.

And when the sun begins to set a faint mist rises around the Lodge, a soft song can be heard over the waves in the cove, a strange tug pulls at his ribs to draw him into the woods. Resisting the whispers is the hardest thing he has ever done. But he thinks, perhaps, to give in is to surrender one’s life to this place.

-

Are there any customs aroundhatching? Who is present? Is their any members who specialize in the care ofeggs or hatchlings? Are eggs ever hatched too early?

one parent is almost always present, but if not that’s okay too! the eggs are kept in an open sided series of rooms carved into the sides of one of the great big spires of rock that grow out of the canyon’s floor. it’s within the bounds of the lair’s magic so most outsiders will never see it. the lair is tended predominantly by inerri, but with help from select others including a collection of beastfolk who also use the spire to lay eggs/give birth when necessary. the nesting spire also doubles as the place where youngsters get their first education (dispensed by inerri, pencil, helix and anthelion).

there aren’t really that many eggs in the clan very often so when there are great care is taken to ensure they are tended properly. this often means making sure they are incubated to proper term. but yeah ofc sometimes an egg hatches early, some hatch late too.

-

Are there any gestures present? Similar to ourwaves, nods, etc 

i assume this means gestures specific to the clan? bc i haven’t really thought about that much haha. there is a gesture used to signal respect where the first two fingers of a hand are touched to head or heart. it can be used when greeting dignitaries too, crossfire and seven do it a lot as representatives.

there’s also a little tail swish like okay. i use it a lot in my writing anyway where a dragon might use their tail to gently brush the tail of someone important to them - usually a mate - so i guess there’s that too. it’s a soft little thing like a real personal sorta pda, kinda intimate when done in public like an acknowledgement that this dragon is real special to them. idk if it counts tho.

-

How do religious beliefs play arole in everyday life? Is there an organised clergy?

lmao they have fen and shiana so naw not really a clergy. religion is very individualised. there is what everyone calls the temple tree which has shrines built into the branches and around the trunk (it’s a huge tree) and it’s sorta just accepted that if you wanna do the worship thing you can go there and do that but if you don’t wanna then that’s cool too. there are no public services or anything. fen looks after the tree and shiana is referred to as a priestess but no one seems to care whether that means anything religious or not.

-

What, if any, foods are considered a delicacy?How is food prepared? Is there any forbidden or taboo foods? 

taboo? nah not really. cannibalism is a big no no though. and look. fiend ate her own children. so like. yeah big no to eating other dragons. no to eating beastfolk also. there are seasonal restrictions sometimes, piper, ravelin and osprey are always really careful and vocal about not overtaxing populations of any sort of animal so if the like... deer herds are small one year they won’t eat too many of them and all that. they’re p careful about it.

but they’re a clan that’s like super bound to the natural world and are big on their fruits n vegies n fishing n stuff like that. real classic hunter/gatherer type clan. so processed foods like sweets are hard to find in the canyon and osprey ships them in so they’re kinda like a delicacy haha. there’s no communal kitchen either, food is prepared by the individual in whatever way they prefer so sometimes that can be influenced by the flight they came from. the lair is real chill about that kinda shit tbh. ain’t no shits given. do what you like.

-

Are there any restrictions onmagic or spells? What and why? If not, does this cause any issues?

lmao no the clan is BUILT on magic. yeah this can be a problem tho like anthelion was all ‘yes guys i’m putting my magical alarm spell around this new lair so we don’t get surprised okay yes i’m doin this as we speak’ and they were all well MAYBE do smth different this time bc it didn’t stop fiend from killing HEAPS OF US LAST TIME and anth was all ‘fine then i guess i’ll do smth different’ and so she did some weird shit with the magic and now the lair is filled with magic that eats visitors????? like yeah that’s a bit of a problem.

sometimes the lack of restrictions means someone goes ‘oh fuck tarryn’s at it again’ and you look up and all the hatchling have grown like spines or weird purple blotches or dragons with fur are now all entirely BALD bc she put some shit in the water and now we all hairless great. or w/e like problems happen. it’s chill tho they live with it.

-

Are symbols a significant aspect of life? Ifthey are, what are symbols, what do they mean? Are certain symbols worn? 

mmmm not really. the clan is SUPER relaxed about stuff so eh. they do have charms they give to any dragon marked for exaltation. you can read about pilgrims here. but other than that nah not so much.

maybe one day i’ll think of smth and go OH SHIT YEA that’d be a cool symbol to have !! but today is not that day so all my dragons are like lazy bums and they just hang out n chill all day lmao.

[smittenbysizablesinners-blog]

About Me

Name: Ronnie (Ron/Ronn or Ronnster is an okay substitute) | I also go by Tequila sometimes. (or Tequi for short). So that would leave ~5 suitable names to address me by! I have no preferences out of them.

Age: in my 20s (probably older than you :P)

Sex+Gender: CisFemale Sexuality: Heteromantic Pansexual (*maybe* more on demiromantic range in romantic-ness... or i’m just super awkward/easily entertained. maybe all of the above, haha) Height: 5′5″ (i don’t rp as myself really so it’s not like this info is relevant. lol. i wish i wasn’t quite as tall.. like being like 4′11 - 5′2 would have been nice... but i’m under 5′6″, albeit just barely, so that’s good at least i s’pose..) Ethnicity: Italian/Eastern European/English/German (+small bit of Turkish) American (basically Caucasian but I have a dark skin tone for a caucasian - olive skin from my Southern Italian and Eastern European (Slavic) [plus that tiny bit of Turkish in me] heritage). I’m technically Jewish as well as my mom’s mom’s mom (my great grandma) was Jewish and so on, but my grandma and mother were raised Catholic, and my dad was raised Catholic so I was raised Catholic (before I left the church as a teen / around 9th grade i left. Shortly after being confirmed in reality, ahaha xD;) Job: Unemployed atm *sobs* but sometimes i help friends or family with odds and ends for money. i used to do colouring commissions (digital). But I usually too to long and would end up feeling guilty about that so i stopped... And now I’m busier than before so I’d like to create content on my own terms with the free time i have. i’m also a student again. Psychology was a mistake. Now going for a International Politics/Studies/Relatioins | Global Peacekeeping degree and my goal is either to do something for state department or work for a non profit or something. I don’t aim to be rich and super successful. Simply being safe, happy, and satisfied is good enough for me. Though perhaps this stunts my motivation towards bettering myself (through good work ethic and stuff. i’m kind of a procrastinating potato person). Likes: G/t (hence having two G/t blogs; G/t is giant/tiny. if you aren’t cool w/ that then idk why you are here??? this blog is for G/t. Not necessarily sfw stuff either. This blog is NC-17+! (so if you are 16 or younger gtfo); I also like everything International - cultures; politics; languages ; architecture; art; FOOD :9 ; places; fauna; I LOVE CELEBRATING THE DIVERSITY OF THIS PLANET  TTvTT ; I’m  a rather liberal person socially, politically and so on. I will never be okay with bigotry of any kind. And I will not tolerate it. Nor bullying. Uhm. Let’s see. i’m kinda sorta socialist and thus kinda have some disdain towards capitalism I’m pro-choice but I hope that you have a good reason for it and not just because “it feels better w/o the condom”; if your all about that, i’d suggest maybe female condoms - though a little wonky at first - they allow for more sensation on both sides. They also can be used as ‘dental dams’. And i’m fairly certain they are free  w/ most insurances. And they can be put in and stay in for hours before use - so you (if female) good go out and have fun and hook up and not ruin the heat of the moment by condom putting on and stuff. Just saying. (hey this IS a nsfw blog, might as well give some nsfw advice haha.) I’m agnostic though I’m sorta leaning towards atheism. I’m just do paranoid/unsure of everything to totally discount religion/a higher being/etc. I just  sorta seriously doubt it. I am not fond of how religion has affected this planet now and throughout the past. But I can’t deny there are benefits to being religious and don’t hold it against people for being religious nor do i blame certain religions for the world’s problems. And Islamophobia, Antisemitism and anything anti-religion in such ways as the two before mentioned things counts as bigotry in my book and if you recall i don’t tolerate bigotry of any kind! I think the world kind sucks because people kinda suck in general, haha. I will never judge anyone personally. I may feel on the inside personal/hurt/angry feels, but I will do my best not to let it cloud my judgement of anyone permanently and it would take a LOT of hate and harassment for me to block anyone. I don’t like blocking people. I feel that is sorta like denying a person’s existence and sorta says ‘you aren’t worthwhile as a person’. And you have to be a total all-encompassing shithead for me to think that. That being said, I know some people with block very easily and my blog just being nsfw content-friendly would lead to blocking. a message stating why you are blocking me - especially if it’s nothing personal - would be nice, however, as I’m a VERY PARANOID person. Speaking of paranoia. I’m mentally ill. This is really  why I write and/or talk a lot. It is a habit out of nerves and awkwardness. And my poor attention span makes long conversation hard - barring if going off into tangets is okay. I will do that a lot. I have one mode and that mode is stream of conciousness. I know my use of many many words can be annoying. Trust me. I know. Please don’t harass me about it. If it truly makes you anxious, reach out to me, and I will try hard to be more concise when reblogging you or if ever addressing you. That is if you’d feel comfortable asking me this. I may not block people easily, but that doesn’t mean won’t. And that’s just a reality that I have to live with. I accept this. But yeah, basically if I upset you in anyway, let me know! I am always trying to better myself. The hardest thing for me would be to not ramble. If it’s something like a certain topic or word bothers you. And I’m currently not tagging it. Let me know. I’m gonna try and be super diligent (and not so rambly) with tags on this particular blog at the very least. though i should do that on every blog tbh...) Anyways, back to being mentally ill. I have Bipolar Disorder Type II (maybe, that is. just switched psychiatrists and my new one things I may just have regular general depressive disorder as my “up” moments are very infrequent and all I really do is be more impulsive/talkative/jittery/etc than usual... and my mood tends to be good when ‘up’.. too bad it comes with the loss of common sense. I don’t do anything physically dangerous though. Worst would be buying something expensive and stupid for no good reason. I’ve done that a few times. 0/10 would recommend, haha. I also have OCD (which is like useless. it gives me extreme focus, but mostly with dumb things - lists, aphabetizing things, researching stuff on the Internet, basically the only good thing is that I can research like a boss, though bad thing is that i end up spending way too much time researching and over do it... I already mentioned my anxiety awhile back, but I’ve been diagnosed with both General Anxiety Disorder and Social Anxiety Disorder (i can practically be agoraphobic sometimes and have reculsive spells both online and off - which is why i probably will disappear at some point. maybe i’d come back. maybe i wouldn’t. and if i come back, it could be years before i do. i don’t know so you definitely wouldn’t know so puh-lease do not get attached to me ;___; G/t stuff: The truth is - I mostly like fluff and nice, kind, sfw stuff. At least as a viewer. As I content creator, I like to experiment and broach all kinds of topics, some sensitive. I will have characters that are genuinely bad people. Often I like dark characters that go through some sort of redemption. But I’ve toyed with doing something that is akin to ‘the making of a villain’ where a character starts out benevlent and than after going through some stuff, becomes malicious, perhaps downright evil even... a loss of self maybe have ocurred. I am not shy in having characters with imperfections, but in a realistic way that isn’t bad. I mean, it’s not ideal, but it happens. like blindness or a missing limb. many scars. mental illnesses are frequent in my characters and sometimes in a criminally insane way. However, I aim to reflect reality in such sort of topics, so of course criminally insane characters would be a very small minority compared to perfectly safe mentally ill characters. But, in any case, as I said, I plan on using extensive tags this blog WILL have (some) VORE. But it is NOT the focus of the blog and I don’t really draw vore - well i haven’t really done so yet... And in writing, I tend to making a horror element. Though I am somewhat fond of  “safe” (platonic or not) vore.. I’m rather confused about it and have a hard time considering plausible within my own content. So in my writing it would be fatal and not with any main characters of anything...mostly just poor SOBs and such... Basically, it would be quality content for the vore community as it would likely portray vore as despicable and wrong. As, in a real life scenario, that would be a correct assumption. These would be worlds w/o safe vore (barring i guess immediate puking, but i’m actually kinda disturbed/freaked by things vomit-related. So I’m not sure i’d be able to write that... Maybe i could. It’s just RL vomit that causes me to panic and cry. Drawn stuff or written stuff, as long as it’s not too descriptive or realistic doesn’t really bother me, though i’m not sure i’d say i like it.). Some vore stuff actually upsets me. But thing with me is, I never know when something is going to upset (aka make me cry/angry/uncomfortable/panicky) or whatever, so I just live with any unfortunate run ins with feels as it happens and then move on. Unless, I feel it is condoning a poor behavior and gives a message that is not in line with what you (the writer) indicates it is, then I’ll just nothing. And if i do say something, it won’t be in a hostile way, it would just be hey, x action actually kinda indicates y because of z. just thought i’d let you know if interpretations of this that reflects what i just by readers would bother you. if not, or if you disagree, than that’s cool too. I was just staying that just in case that would bother you and thus maybe you’d want to change things. but it’s totally your decision and i’m not pushing either way. blah blah some rambling because i’m trying not be offending while likely saying things that may offend. I have a hard time not being blunt and firm with my words. So basically take anything I say with a grain of salt. Sometimes I open my mouth when i shouldn’t. If I made you upset, just let me know what i did and why it upset you and i’ll apologize (within reason. like if you were a jerk and i was just like ‘oh stop that shit already’, i’m not gonna say sorry if you were legitmately being a jerk. but otherwise, i’m quick to say ‘sorry’. i’m always saying sorry. sometimes i’m wanting to say sorry but i’m too anxious too. so keep that in mind as well. Uhm. I like M/f and M/m content the most. F/f is p. cool too. Poly Relations that mixes M/m, M/f and/or F/f are cool too (all types of combos as long as there are no “m” with a “F”...not to knock on that, just isn’t my thing.. So yeah, as I hinted, i’m noot really a fan of F/m.. and I’m not gonna make much content with that (though i do have a canon F/m pairing in one of my worlds/series/story/idk what to call it. don’t expect much of them though.). But in all honest, there’s a lot of F/m stuff out there and my content isn’t mediocre at best so it’s not really a loss to the F/m community that i’m not doing much of that.Also, please don’t request content. I may see on your blog at some point you wish there was ‘x’ and/or ‘y’ content and this may prompt me to write or draw something like that. but it might not either. In a nutshell, I do what I what when I want. I know that’s kinda selfish but that mindset - when in connection with just leisure activities keeps me sane!You can ask any question. I just might not answer. If I’m not gonna answer, I respond with something random. And I’m unlikely to respond with drawings. Too much effort. Sorry.In theory, I’d like to RP. But I’m just not the right kind of person for a serious RP. i’d only want to do a detailed, literate story RP and i’d only be able to do like one respond a day - if that. So it’s kinda a waste of someone’s time to RP with me.  And I think I’d just prefer to write drabbles/one-shots or draw my characters or whatever. I don’t give my characters enough love. They kind just sorta chill in my mind not doing anything a vast majority of the time, haha xD So long story short, I’m not RPing currently. Sorry. And if/when I RP, I am not myself. I separate my interest/fantasy of G/t with my reality. Just trying to keep sane. Not trying to knock on people whom identify as a giant or tiny or whateverIDK what else to say. Probably am missing important stuff, while writing too much frivolous stuff, heh... I’ll probably edit this every now and that ^^