#the cunningham-cole clan

[faofinn]

5. Preventative Measures (Not Taken)

How many times had his Dads told him not to forget his epi pen? Alfie lost track. It had been never ending since he’d been a little kid. He was sixteen now, and he was good at looking after himself. He had to be, really. He always took his epi pen with him wherever he went, always carried safe snacks (mostly for Kieran’s benefit, but his too). There was nothing worse than being starving and there being nothing he could eat. He struggled to remember the epi pen when he’d been younger, but his parents had always been around, and it was easy to keep it in his bag at school.

He had not long finished his GCSEs, and was looking forward to enjoying the long summer. It felt like it would last forever, sixth form and A Levels a distant thought. He’d gone out with Eden that day, into central London to shop and enjoy themselves. He could’ve sworn he’d packed everything he needed. But as they’d sat down to eat, he’d reached into his bag for his water, and hadn’t seen the familiar case. They’d decided to bring a picnic, so Alfie didn’t have to worry about food, and they could find a nice spot to enjoy it. They’d settled in Hyde Park by the water, spread out a blanket, and had settled, enjoying the warm July sunshine. 

They were enjoying themselves when Alfie started coughing, frowning to himself. Eden looked over at him, concerned. 

“You okay?”

“Mm, probably hayfever.” He mumbled, but it quickly got worse, his throat getting tighter and tighter, the wheeze in his chest audible from where Eden was sat. It was harder and harder to breathe, and he couldn’t help the panic that was building. That was when the dizziness hit him, coupled with everything else, and the fear rose. 

He knelt. "Where's your epi? In your bag? Let me see."

He just nodded, trying to breathe the best he could whilst everything felt like it was crashing down around him. 

"Alfie, it's not there. Where is it?" Eden couldn't help his own panic, though he was trying his best to hold it together. 

“Bag.” He wheezed. “Always.”

Eden's eyes were wide. "It's not."

Even confused and dizzy, Alfie realised he was right. He hadn’t seen it, but he’d assumed it had just been tucked out of sight. Maybe not. Shakily he reached for his phone, the panic building and making it even harder to breathe. 

"Here, give it, I'll call. You just breathe, just relax. I'm here, you’re gonna be okay." He moved to sit behind Alfie, holding him upright as he dialled for an ambulance. With his own phone, he rang Tai, his number the most recently contacted. 

He leaned gratefully against Eden, struggling desperately for breath. Everything was blurry and he couldn’t focus on it, the dizziness clouding everything. Every breath seemed harder than the one before, every second dragging by. 

"You're okay, you're okay." Eden promised, rubbing his shoulder to try keep him awake as he frantically answered the operator's questions, in the middle of trying to tell Tai what was happening. 

Eden was far too loud, and Alfie groaned. He hated feeling so shit, having to work so hard to catch his breath, and he knew not having his epi was bad. He always had it, why wasn’t it there? 

"Alfie? Alfie, please, keep your eyes open."

He was doing his best, but it was so hard. Even the fear wasn’t keeping him going, blackness tinging his vision. 

"C'mon, Alfie, please." He begged, sirens starting to sound in the distance. "Don't do this."

Alfie whimpered, pressing into him the best he could, trying to fight the dizziness as it threatened to take him.  

Eden wasn't even sure what he'd been triggered by, the pair both so careful with their foods. He supposed even just being outside and exposed to the public's picnics must have done it, but it didn't fix it, didn't make it better. He could see Alfie fading in front of him, his lips turning blue as he watched. The worst was his breathing, each breath desperate and a fight. He was begging to a god he didn't believe in, praying he'd just hold on a little longer. 

Eden had done a good job of explaining exactly where they were, and it thankfully didn’t take long for the crews to reach him. Alfie was still really struggling, enough to have them really rather worried as they saw him. 

As they neared them, Eden glanced at them. "He's not got his epi, I don't know why, I don’t know where it is. I've called his dads too, but they're busy. You've gotta help him."

“You’ve done the right thing. We’ll help him now, okay? What’s his name?”

"It's Alfie, Alfie Cunningham-Cole. He's 16."

“Great, thank you. Things are probably going to get really busy for a bit, and it’ll move fast, but me and my colleagues are going to look after him, okay?”

"Just help him."

His colleagues were already working, and he nodded, turning away to help them. It was obvious this was critical, with much more of a wait having potentially been too long. 

Eden moved away to let them work, thought stretched a hand out to hold Alfie's. He wasn't sure who he was comforting, but he wasn't letting go.

The paramedics were working hard, IVs in and adrenaline given. It had started to make a difference, but Alfie was still very ill, there was no doubt about that. He needed hospital, and quickly. 

As the second crew returned with the stretcher, Eden hesitated. The last time it had happened had been at home, with Tai and Harrison, and they'd gone with him. Tai had driven the kids up after the ambulance, Harrison in charge of the medical side. But now, there was no responsible adult, there was just the two of them. 

"I don't know much, but can I come with him? I don’t want to leave him."

“Of course you can. We’re not about to leave you here in the middle of London all by yourself, and I’m sure he’ll appreciate having you.” 

He nodded, trying to be braver than he felt. "Thank you."

“Did you manage to get a hold of his parents?”

"His dad's at work, he's the big doctor at St Georges, in the A&E. And Tai said he'd meet us there, but he was working too."

“Okay, we’re a bit of a way away from St George’s right now, he needs to be seen sooner than that, so we’re going to take him to St Mary’s. They’ll be able to meet us there when they can, and of course you’ll be able to stay with him.”

"But his dads are there. He always goes there."

“I know that’s scary, but they’ll look after him.”

"Will you take him to St George’s when he's better?"

“That’s for the hospital to decide I’m afraid.”

"O-okay." He nodded. "That's okay."

“We’re going to get him off to hospital now, come and grab a seat.”

"Is he gonna be okay?"

“We’re going to look after him, and they’ll be good in hospital too.”

Eden nodded, no longer trusting himself to speak. As they settled Alfie in the ambulance, he stuck a shaking hand out to hold his, their fingers interlaced as if they could hold each other together.

[faofinn]

3. "What happened to your phenomenal immune system, huh?"

"I'll be home for tea tonight." Harrison’s text was optimistic, and Tai shook his head. 

"Yeah, you sure?"

"Maybe ten minutes late."

"The food will be in the microwave. Drive safely."

In the end, Harrison wasn't actually too late, and he mainly blamed it on the traffic. Tai must have been upstairs with the kids when he made it in, putting them to bed, so he didn't want to interrupt. The last time he'd jumped in during bedtime, nobody had gotten any sleep. 

He was somewhat on autopilot as he heated up his food, definitely just tired and not dizzy at all. He settled on the sofa with his mug of chocolate and plate of food, his leg tucked up under him. It had been a long day, but he couldn't shake the slight unease it was maybe more than that. 

When Tai finally appeared downstairs, he was somewhat frazzled from trying to corral the kids into bed, but smiled genuinely at Harrison when he saw him. 

“Hey, didn’t hear you come in.” He said, flopping onto the sofa next to him. “Everyone’s in bed.”

He glanced up. "I've only been in under half an hour. Everyone okay? You okay?"

“Yeah, Levi was having a bit of a meltdown because you weren’t here and me telling him you were at work wasn’t working. But we’re all okay.”

"Sorry. I was going to come up, I'm just…exhausted." He sighed, stabbing a vegetable. "Work's really taking it out of me."

“No, it’s okay.” Tai said softly. “I said you’d be home later and he eventually settled. I think he just worries when you’re not here. Are you okay?”

"They all do." He smiled sadly. "I hate that they worry."

“I know, but they’re so proud of you for what you do.”

He hummed, setting his plate down in favour of curling against Tai. "It doesn't make it easier."

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Tai said gently, wrapping his arm around him. “Not like you to leave dinner after work.”

"I've not left it." He tried to argue. "I'm just saving it for later."

“Mm, alright. What’s wrong?”

"Nothing. You're just comfy." He wasn't sure who he was trying to convince. 

“Are you getting ill?” Tai asked, unable to stop the worry that flared. “Head bad? Chronic pain?”

"Stop fussing." He swatted at Tai good-naturedly.

“Mm, never.”

"I might have a bit of a headache, and…" He broke off to laugh. "I feel like Fao. I was gonna say my chest feels heavy."

“Fao’s a terrible example.”

"Exactly. I'm nowhere near that bad."

“Sure, sure.” Tai grumbled. “You need to be careful.”

"It's just a cough. I had Matt had a listen, there's nothing there at the minute."

“Of course you did.”

"'Cause I knew you'd worry."

“You know me too well.”

"I'm fine, really. I'll keep an eye on it and speak to my cons."

“You better be fine.” Tai grumbled. 

"I will be." He shot him a grin, though he was quickly undermined by the coughing that had him on his side. "Just ignore that."

“Harrison.”

"What?" He whined in response. "It was just a tickle."

“Sounded awful.”

"Didn't feel great."

“Are you sure Matt couldn’t hear anything?”

"Nothing to admit me for." He murmured. 

“Nothing and nothing worth admitting are two different things.” 

"He said to call the GP in the morning."

“He should have sent you home if it was that bad. You can’t just leave things like everyone else can.”

"He did. I told him at the end."

“You’re lucky I love you.” 

"I know."

"What happened to your phenomenal immune system, huh?" Tai teased.

"Oh, that? It fucked off with my immunosuppressants, and the kids chased it off screaming."

Tai laughed, leaning down to kiss Harrison on the nose. "Oh, I could see that."

"They're animals." He joined in the laughter.

"God, I wouldn't change them."

He hummed. "Me neither."

[faofinn]

Our latest fic in a nutshell

[faofinn]

This blog feels as if filled with wasted potential.

I have some writings, of Harrison and Finn, The Cunningham-Cole clan and the Daniels, but I don’t know what I'm supposed to do with them; it almost feels like I need to be asking permission to write about them - and hell, even thinking about them half the time. Which, while I'm aware how daft it all sounds, is what is continually putting up roadblocks in my path and why nothing has been posted (at least Ev's side, I can only speak for myself; there is no communication or desire to).

I tried using other characters, tried making new ones, but there's nothing behind them, and a few paragraphs in, we're back to Harrison and Finn but with different names.

I used to use writing as an outlet, a crutch for my failing mental health. As much as I feel like a dick to admit it, having only myself to think about has allowed me to save a huge part of myself that was atop a crumbling cliff's edge and barely hanging by a thread. I didn't realise how many things I'd stopped doing or enjoying. I've found a spark for things I thought were long gone, what I thought was lost to the long hours at work but, apparently, was not.

Now that my spark is me, I've found myself writing when I get the muse, not when I'm rock bottom and burnt out and trying to find a distraction. The new characters feel like the boys wearing a pair of fake glasses and a mustache and expecting me not to notice. For the record, they're very noticeable. I'm trying to work a way to keep my boys going, to get them from my brain into a decently readable piece of writing, but trying to do so and keep all toes un-stepped has left me a little stumped.

Maybe I should just get it out here, or maybe a different blog would be better? If anyone has any suggestions, please feel free to let me know!

Anyway, I just wanted to drop back in and say hi. I hope y'all are doing well, because I am. And that's something I can say wholeheartedly. Or, at least, wholeheartedly mentally. My body regularly attempts to give up the ghost, and I've had far too many ambulances and pre-alerts to resus over the last months. It's much more fun when you're writing about it, a lot less fun living it.

Take care, y'all. Keep whumping.

Ev