How many times had his Dads told him not to forget his epi pen? Alfie lost track. It had been never ending since he’d been a little kid. He was sixteen now, and he was good at looking after himself. He had to be, really. He always took his epi pen with him wherever he went, always carried safe snacks (mostly for Kieran’s benefit, but his too). There was nothing worse than being starving and there being nothing he could eat. He struggled to remember the epi pen when he’d been younger, but his parents had always been around, and it was easy to keep it in his bag at school.
He had not long finished his GCSEs, and was looking forward to enjoying the long summer. It felt like it would last forever, sixth form and A Levels a distant thought. He’d gone out with Eden that day, into central London to shop and enjoy themselves. He could’ve sworn he’d packed everything he needed. But as they’d sat down to eat, he’d reached into his bag for his water, and hadn’t seen the familiar case. They’d decided to bring a picnic, so Alfie didn’t have to worry about food, and they could find a nice spot to enjoy it. They’d settled in Hyde Park by the water, spread out a blanket, and had settled, enjoying the warm July sunshine.
They were enjoying themselves when Alfie started coughing, frowning to himself. Eden looked over at him, concerned.
“You okay?”
“Mm, probably hayfever.” He mumbled, but it quickly got worse, his throat getting tighter and tighter, the wheeze in his chest audible from where Eden was sat. It was harder and harder to breathe, and he couldn’t help the panic that was building. That was when the dizziness hit him, coupled with everything else, and the fear rose.
He knelt. "Where's your epi? In your bag? Let me see."
He just nodded, trying to breathe the best he could whilst everything felt like it was crashing down around him.
"Alfie, it's not there. Where is it?" Eden couldn't help his own panic, though he was trying his best to hold it together.
“Bag.” He wheezed. “Always.”
Eden's eyes were wide. "It's not."
Even confused and dizzy, Alfie realised he was right. He hadn’t seen it, but he’d assumed it had just been tucked out of sight. Maybe not. Shakily he reached for his phone, the panic building and making it even harder to breathe.
"Here, give it, I'll call. You just breathe, just relax. I'm here, you’re gonna be okay." He moved to sit behind Alfie, holding him upright as he dialled for an ambulance. With his own phone, he rang Tai, his number the most recently contacted.
He leaned gratefully against Eden, struggling desperately for breath. Everything was blurry and he couldn’t focus on it, the dizziness clouding everything. Every breath seemed harder than the one before, every second dragging by.
"You're okay, you're okay." Eden promised, rubbing his shoulder to try keep him awake as he frantically answered the operator's questions, in the middle of trying to tell Tai what was happening.
Eden was far too loud, and Alfie groaned. He hated feeling so shit, having to work so hard to catch his breath, and he knew not having his epi was bad. He always had it, why wasn’t it there?
"Alfie? Alfie, please, keep your eyes open."
He was doing his best, but it was so hard. Even the fear wasn’t keeping him going, blackness tinging his vision.
"C'mon, Alfie, please." He begged, sirens starting to sound in the distance. "Don't do this."
Alfie whimpered, pressing into him the best he could, trying to fight the dizziness as it threatened to take him.
Eden wasn't even sure what he'd been triggered by, the pair both so careful with their foods. He supposed even just being outside and exposed to the public's picnics must have done it, but it didn't fix it, didn't make it better. He could see Alfie fading in front of him, his lips turning blue as he watched. The worst was his breathing, each breath desperate and a fight. He was begging to a god he didn't believe in, praying he'd just hold on a little longer.
Eden had done a good job of explaining exactly where they were, and it thankfully didn’t take long for the crews to reach him. Alfie was still really struggling, enough to have them really rather worried as they saw him.
As they neared them, Eden glanced at them. "He's not got his epi, I don't know why, I don’t know where it is. I've called his dads too, but they're busy. You've gotta help him."
“You’ve done the right thing. We’ll help him now, okay? What’s his name?”
"It's Alfie, Alfie Cunningham-Cole. He's 16."
“Great, thank you. Things are probably going to get really busy for a bit, and it’ll move fast, but me and my colleagues are going to look after him, okay?”
"Just help him."
His colleagues were already working, and he nodded, turning away to help them. It was obvious this was critical, with much more of a wait having potentially been too long.
Eden moved away to let them work, thought stretched a hand out to hold Alfie's. He wasn't sure who he was comforting, but he wasn't letting go.
The paramedics were working hard, IVs in and adrenaline given. It had started to make a difference, but Alfie was still very ill, there was no doubt about that. He needed hospital, and quickly.
As the second crew returned with the stretcher, Eden hesitated. The last time it had happened had been at home, with Tai and Harrison, and they'd gone with him. Tai had driven the kids up after the ambulance, Harrison in charge of the medical side. But now, there was no responsible adult, there was just the two of them.
"I don't know much, but can I come with him? I don’t want to leave him."
“Of course you can. We’re not about to leave you here in the middle of London all by yourself, and I’m sure he’ll appreciate having you.”
He nodded, trying to be braver than he felt. "Thank you."
“Did you manage to get a hold of his parents?”
"His dad's at work, he's the big doctor at St Georges, in the A&E. And Tai said he'd meet us there, but he was working too."
“Okay, we’re a bit of a way away from St George’s right now, he needs to be seen sooner than that, so we’re going to take him to St Mary’s. They’ll be able to meet us there when they can, and of course you’ll be able to stay with him.”
"But his dads are there. He always goes there."
“I know that’s scary, but they’ll look after him.”
"Will you take him to St George’s when he's better?"
“That’s for the hospital to decide I’m afraid.”
"O-okay." He nodded. "That's okay."
“We’re going to get him off to hospital now, come and grab a seat.”
"Is he gonna be okay?"
“We’re going to look after him, and they’ll be good in hospital too.”
Eden nodded, no longer trusting himself to speak. As they settled Alfie in the ambulance, he stuck a shaking hand out to hold his, their fingers interlaced as if they could hold each other together.
9th April marked FOUR YEARS!!! since the first b99 quiz! 🤯
It was genuinely the thing I was the proudest of from my time as an active member of fandom and getting to speak to so many new people and bringing a little bit of happiness and fun to an otherwise TERRIBLE time was my pleasure! (And of course props to our later co-quiz masters Caroline & Niamh too!!!)
Thank you to everyone who ever participated - you all made the quizzes what they were!!! 🫶🏼
hello! so, this is a multi chapter fic i was really excited about a while ago (started it, got to a few thousand works and then it fizzled out lol the basic premise is this:
muggle AU with single dad James and model Sirius who’s fed up of his ~meaningless life (feeling some…ennui, if u will) and ends up taking off to like. a seaside city where he runs into harry and then, james. it was such a fun premise because A. i was writing it to ‘have we met before’ which is the perfect j/s song, B. i wanted it to be low pressure and chill, a simple meet cute romance type situation.
there’s also aunt cassiopeia who sirius is temporarily living with and she’s like this. ‘spinster’ who’s cut off from her family, has a pet cheetah she rescued one time, and has three blades on her at all times. a Character. i love her. she loves james. tries to match make. sirius is so baffled?? because aunty cassie doesn’t like anyone??
this is what my notes look like for this fic
i have. clearly. put an unnecessary amount of thought into it lol
do the Bandaged Scoundrel and your seeking alt know each other
actually yes and im THOROUGHLY DELIGHTED YOU ASKED
so, quick context for those not in the know, my seeking alt is caeru. he's a pre-existing OC of mine that i inserted into the role of a nemesis ambition playthrough against his metaphorical will. this is because i really wanted to play SMEN at some point or another, and caeru is exactly the type of guy to go on a self-destructing doomed spiral of madness in pursuit of forbidden knowledge. also he's just built to go through horrors in general. the best way i can possibly describe it is that if everyone else in his original setting lives in a resident evil/silent hill kind of horror game, caeru specifically exists in a fear and hunger or pathologic kind of horror game. no respite no peace no rewards only madness death and hunger forever and ever <3
so! the scoundrel and caeru exist in the same world. and they hate each other. they do not get along. they have so much beef. primarily because caeru would be intensely liberationist and very much on the side of murdering all stars forever, while the scoundrel is... shall we say, neutral on average and leaning towards white at worst. but also im gonna be so fr it's actually mostly because the scoundrel is just a huge bastard that's absolutely full of themselves and thinks they're above everyone else and caeru hates that exact character archetype with every fiber of his being. chronically incompatible pair of dudes. they're acquaintances but they probably send each other pipebombs in the mail.
but also. i think they do semi-rely on each other just a bit. caeru's very much analysis and correspondence focused where the scoundrel picks a red science experiment and fucks around purely to find out. the scoundrel is charismatic and wealthy where caeru struggles to hold a five second conversation without shriveling up like a raisin. they probably owe a lot of favors to each other is what im saying. weird hate friendship dynamic where neither of them like the other guy but still need them around so they only passive aggressively taunt each other instead of active sending to the boatman. the scoundrel may call on caeru to work at their lab every now and again, and caeru may come willingly, but they will never not grumble about being in the same room together.
Thanks to johnnycure's instagram post, I am absolutely losing it at this interview. Scroll to 31:55 for the full context or 36:00 for The Prophecy.
It's 2012, a jubilee year, Robert is despairing about the monarchy as always, and he randomly decides to predict the queen's gonna die on September 7th.
It took another jubilee year but he was right gklfkfkkgkglg his hatred of the monarchy is so powerful it endowed him wih the gift of prophecy i love him kfkkflflfl
the hard part now of getting eatwd into the place where it needs to be is simply just. .. transposing the characters in tma into night vale. like they're literally so shaped by their specific relationships with the fears that to create a reality in which they don't live in that context creates essentially entirely different characters. pretty wacky
Warnings: suicide jokes in relation to a happy relationship? (Yall know what I mean)
Authors note: more Lando!
Requested: Yes/No
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yourusername
📍Monte Carlo, Monaco
liked by user1 user2 and 13,800 others
yourusername took a day-trip away from London to go visit Monaco, bit posher than I’m used to, vlog coming soon xx 💚💚💚
In the meantime, new cooking video is up now, we made pesto pasta! 🍝
load comments…
user1 I’m actually in love with her
user2 she’s so pretty!
user3 who’s behind the camera in the pasta video???
user4 is it her editor???
user5 James??? Nah, he’s American, the guy in the video is British
user6 secret boyfriend???
user7 why Monaco?
yourusername visiting a friend! It was quite nice, might have to consider moving 🤔
user8 no offense but how tf would she afford Monaco rent
user9 yk these influencers and their rich parents
user10 so pretty 🥰
yourusername thank you, love 🫶
user11 I love her phone case 💚💚
user12 “we” made pesto pasta 🤔
user13 I loved the new karting vid!!! James had no chance lol, how r u so good?!
yourusername I had a good instructor haha, helps that James is absolutely abysmal at it
jamesedits that’s rude, we don’t all have experienced go-karters to teach us 😒
user14 I want to be her friend so bad, omg her life seems so cool
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landonorris
📍Monte Carlo, Monaco
liked by jamesedits maxfewtrell and 3,008,996 others
landonorris Monaco green 💚
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user15 the soft-launch????
user16 who is that??????
user17 not Lando posting his secret girlfriend on a random Tuesday
user18 ooh but she’s got good taste in nails I’ll give her that
user19 and who tf is that then
maxfewtrell ah, bold innit?
landonorris 🤐
user20 wtf is max talking about
user21 all we get is hands????
user22 some Twitter detectives about to figure out who that is just based on the hands i bet my life
user23 and if I told you I know who that is, then what
user24 now how tf do you know that
user23 pure vibes and delusion
user25 who taught this man to soft-launch???
user26 I can tell she’s pretty
user27 NOOOOOOOO
user28 what about our marriage and kids???
oscarpiastri she’s lovely
landonorris you have not met her
oscarpiastri this is your sign to change that
oscarpiastri and from what you’ve told me, she is lovely
landonorris she is
user29 awww I already love her
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TWITTER
INSTAGRAM
yourusername
📍Monte Carlo, Monaco
liked by user1 user2 and 31,998 others
yourusername supposed to be a one day trip but now it’s been three days 😅
Day 1 Monaco vlog is up now! 💚
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user30 is this the girl that Twitter thread was about????
user31 she has the phone case!!!!
user32 you can’t tell me that the “tour guide” in the vlog isn’t Lando
user33 love that James was so against the sunshine the entire time lmao
jamesedits I’m white and from London, I can’t survive in the sun 😔
user34 I love the green 💚💚💚
user35 is this landos girlfriend????
user36 are yall just harassing this poor girl because she has a popular phone case??!! 😭😭
jamesedits can I go home now
yourusername pls do, you third-wheel too much
user37 third-wheeling???? I sense landooo
user38 are you staying with that friend you mentioned
user39 pretty girl 🤩
user40 if you go to the part of the vlog when they’re walking the circuit and go over the grand hotel hairpin, on my life you can see Lando for a split-second in the background
user41 are you sure that’s him and not James?
user40 James was wearing a black jacket, that guy was wearing like a beige hoodie
user42 I just binged like 20 of her videos because I heard she might be dating Lando and now I’m in love with her 😭😭😭
user43 I’m convinced it’s her just because of the phone case and yall can’t change my mind
jamesedits I had to work overtime to get all that footage cut quickly so you’re welcome
yourusername “work overtime” you are on vacation it’s hardly working
jamesedits don’t police my stress
yourusername 🙄
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yourusername added to their story
landonorris
🤩🤩🤩🤩
yourusername
🫶
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landonorris
📍Monte Carlo, Monaco
liked by yourusername charles_leclerc and 3,006,001 others
landonorris 3 days of Monaco with a guest 💚
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user44 GREEN AGAIN
user45 and if I told you that phone case girl had that same hat in her Instagram post then what
user46 “three days of Monaco” “supposed to be a day-trip but it’s been three days”
user47 that third picture must be from day 1 because someone’s wearing that same beige hoodie in the back of her day 1 vlog
user48 and the green ny hat???
user49 y/n was wearing green converse on her insta story!!!
user50 AND SHE LIKED!!!!
user51 I recognize those shoessss
user52 this is so cute 😭🫶
oscarpiastri she’s lovely!
landonorris now you can say that
oscarpiastri it was lovely to meet her 🫶
landonorris I’ll tell her you said that
user53 the green aesthetic is so adorable omg I love it so much
user54 LANDO DONT BE SCARED TAG HER
user54 OR POST HER ACTUAL FACE
user54 OR EVEN A STRAND OF HAIR PLEASE LANDO
user55 bathing with a toaster tonight dhmu
user56 wdym my husband has a gf? 😭
user57 what about our kids Lando?? What about the kids?
user58 I’ve never even seen her face but that’s my mom now I don’t make the rules 🤷♀️
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TWITTER
INSTAGRAM
yourusername
📍Monte Carlo, Monaco
liked by landonorris oscarpiastri and 78,661 others
yourusername Day-trip —> full-time stay
More Monaco vlogs to come, then 😅
Monaco day 1 vlog (Lando’s version) is up now, thank you to James for re-including all the clips of him that he'd previously cut out 🫶
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user59 AWWWWWWW
user60 where’s the user who guessed this from the start
user61 James I going through it
jamesedits it’s bad enough I had to scrub through all the clips of them being lovey-dovey but then I had to look at all of them again to put them back in the vlog
jamesedits and NOW she’s gonna put these clips in EVERY VIDEO! THEYRE SO GROSS!
user62 oh my god poor James 😭
user63 somebody get James a pay raise
yourusername don’t listen to him, he’s like a dog, he’ll act sad to strangers but in reality he gets treated perfectly fine and gets fed on time every day, he doesn’t need any more treats
jamesedits I don’t appreciate being compared to a dog
landonorris dw about it mate, you’d be a nice little yorki
jamesedits 🤨
user64 LANDO!
user65 they both look so good im frothing at the mouth
landonorris glad I could convince you to stay
yourusername you’re very convincing
user66 sleeping on train tracks tonight
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landonorris
📍Monte Carlo, Monaco
liked by yourusername maxfewtrell and 5,000,881 others
landonorris might have to get her a different phone case…💚
Tagged: yourusername
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user67 SHE GOT A TAG!!!!
user68 Y/N!!!!!
user69 awww they’re adorable 🥰
user70 I’ve followed y/n for years and it’s so nice to see her so happy 😭
user71 HES PESTO PASTA GUY
user72 knowing it’s him makes it make sense as to why he never actually cooks in the video
user73 man moved to Monaco and still found an English girl
user74 I wish my rich athlete boyfriend would convince me to move in with him in his Monaco home… 😞
user75 I’m in love with both of themmmmm
maxfewtrell she made the main page! And you can see her face! Congrats mate!
landonorris 😐😑😐
maxfewtrell seriously though, happy 4 u
landonorris thanks max
user76 now I need to know where she got the phone case
yourusername wildflower!
user76 omg I wasn’t expecting a reply! Tysm!
yourusername 💚
user77 I’ve never been more interested in a relationship