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catholicismabusedestiny · 3 years

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What Happened...

12.01.1999

Up until the age of 10 or 11, after the last child was born (and about the same time where my father came to deeply resent my “responsibility for the kids” – which was beat into me for as far back as I can remember); however, once it threatened his role or, more precisely once I started to get a voice, my father did a 180 degree turn and anything I did around the house or with the kids was not likely to get me in trouble.

I’ve spent a life-time being disappointed about various issues pertaining to my family; however, none has been as painful as the adult relationships (or lack thereof) I have with my siblings; therefore, this has been one of the top three topics discussed over 26 years of therapy and I think it’s finally coming into focus thanks to my Minister, Therapist and two close friends.

To begin with, my father’s verbal and emotional abuse is not disputed; it’s to what extent and how it was carried out which appears to be the issue people differ on. As stated, those first 10, 11 years were the hardest of their marriage and on one another; they were untrained, ill-prepared and almost desperate at times and it was something open discussed about by relative and friends – particularly after one of many crisis’s (i.e. 6 births, the house fire, Dad’s accident, the accident the day Patty was born etc.,). Dad would refer to that time as his “Irish luck” but, suffice it to say, those first 12 years were the most difficult for them.

During these difficult times – before my Dad had to be cognizant of who was around and where he was before going off on me – Dad did a lot of yelling and even more criticizing. It was during these years when he developed and began trying out his many phrases he had for me. His unrelenting criticism and disappointment of me was not new and was widely known within the family and beyond. Therefore, in getting back to whether he loved me unconditionally during that time I’d have to say “No, he didn’t show me unconditional love during my early childhood”.

As a result, to those that were horrified by what I said earlier, the only thing I can say is that “you don’t know what you’re talking about!” Moreover, his total lack of respect for me was not only felt but was picked up by all of my siblings; they all knew from the time they could walk and talk that Dad disliked Mike, makes fun of Mike and disrespects Mike; therefore, they, in turn, also disrespected me and it’s only grown worse and has even been passed down to the next generation who will not return a message from me. They were unconscious taught to believe the things Dad said of me; then, by my mid-20’s while in therapy, I confronted my parents on the abuse and came out of the closet.

From the time I engaged in those activities, the abuse factor transferred from Dad to Mom who disapproved of everything I did or said. Although, it was the confronting them on the abuse that she got stuck on; she knew that I knew (or remembered) those early years when all of the physical and verbal abuse was followed by screams from me wanting my Mother. While she still blamed me for what went on, she knew that if I repeated this info to others outside the family that it would negatively reflect on her and that’s not something she could tolerate.

In fact, I think it’s that very point as to why she wanted me to visit more often, as well as all the pressure she put on me to move back to Chicago. More to the point, however, she constantly criticized me (jobs, where I lived, what I did etc.,) and never-ever wanted to hear anything I had to say (I was not to speak with I visited UNLESS it was about kids or marriage). She so resented me that anything she said about me was done with heavy doses of disapproval, accusations I was lying, and a consistent tone that I was not accepted, respected or approved.

With me being gone for all of those decades, there was never anyone to comment on her accusations or to stick up for me; thus, everything was said and taken as gospel. Ironic too that the entire reason why I stayed away (as well as all of those times when I was actually in Chicago but didn’t go home because my Mother refused to allow me to bring anyone with me when I’d visit; and, when I did visit, there were strict instructions about what I could and couldn’t say.

Yet, each Sunday night, after I listened to 20 minutes about babies and weddings, she’d give me shit for not visiting more often AGAIN! Finally, I obviously had to be more direct with her so I said “Mom, you wonder why I don’t visit more often or why I won’t move back and, the truth of the matter is it’s you Mom… you refuse to allow me to bring my bf with me and then you get mad if/when anyone asks me a direct question about my volunteer work, the AID’s epidemic, gay rights etc., etc., So, if my significant other is banned/not welcomed and I’m prevented from talking about my passions and all of the good things I’m doing for the cause of AID’s than why would I even want to attend?”

It’s as though my Mother wants me to be present but she doesn’t want me; she wants me at 19 or 20 – before I came out. “I cannot flip-on or flip-off my life just because you don’t like it…” Moreover, because of this dichotomy between who I am and what my Mother wants me to be, I return home from these visits and fall into a deep depression knowing that I’m not accepted (or respected) for who I am. My friends are well acquainted with the depths of those depression episodes after I visit Chicago and, thus, will give me a few days to myself when I return but, after that, they go all out to force me out of that state of funk.

It wasn’t all that long ago when someone referred to the unconditional love one receives from their father and I stated that I was “unsure” about that; you’d thought I said “Kill All The Babies!” Immediately, my sister and her husband became extremely upset with me and, as such, I became quite irritated with them.

I’m unsure what “con” was played on them while I was gone for 30 years but, one thing is certain:

Ø None of them were around for the first 7 – 8 years of my life; therefore, they have absolutely no idea what took place. Accordingly, I deeply resent anyone telling me what I relive in my bed on a daily basis is not true.

Ø Yes, I did carry around a lot of guilt for decades that Dad’s temper, behavior and his anger ridden tirades were - in some way - my fault (as both of my parents attempted to allege which, in and of itself, every therapist states is abuse). Furthermore, over the years, Therapists have continually stated that I was not responsible for Dad’s behavior or conduct in any way, shape of form.

§ All of this changed permanently, however, on January 12, 2012 when Uncle Chuck asked me “How was your childhood?” That pandora’s box opened up a whole host of bad things that my father had done to me before I was 18 months old.

§ It was further shaped by the very odd or weird things some of Mom and Dad’s life-long friends and extended family members said to me as I became the point person for the dissemination of information re: My Parents Health.

· As they became more comfortable with me – especially since most of them hadn’t spoken to me in decades; and, overtime, I heard things such as: “it’s so good you’re here for your parents now given some of the things that happened in the past...” OR “your Dad was so hard on you growing up; I’m so glad to see that you’re doing well and that you and your father have resolved things…” OR “Mike, I’m proud of you, you’ve been able to put the past behind you and are now working to help your parents… given some of the things that occurred, that’s quite impressive…”

· What I came to realize (or actually remember), any neighbors we had on either Quincy or Thurlow would have (and did) hear, listen and witness things that they’ve not forgotten. I knew that in the summer, with the windows open, that neighbors 10’ away would have heard the loud arguments and much more since my blue bedroom (where most of the physical and verbal abuse took place) was < 10’ from our neighbor to the North on Quincy. On Thurlow, when I was older and learned to always sit near an entrance, I would run outside every time Dad would blow up so his verbal abuse from across the street was legendary. Each time he’d throw me out, disown me and tell the world that I was not his son and that I was just a huge embarrassment that he was ashamed of, was all done outside where everyone around heard and listened. Moreover, Dad’s favorite put-downs and “phrases” such as “you’re worthless and will never amount to anything” were (at least during those first 10 – 12 years when we were on Quincy) said to me at any time and anywhere; it didn’t matter is cousins or Aunt and Uncles were around; although, after about 12 years (or about the time we moved to Thurlow), Mom had been influential in getting Dad to stop saying certain things about the kids outside of our immediate family, thus, he was coached on how bad his behavior reflected upon him and he became more cognizant of who was present when he’d go off.

Ø Therefore, between my bad dreams, my memories, those repressed memories retrieved via hypnosis, countless therapist opinions, my Minister (actually two of those), dozens of self-help books and self-actualization seminars/workshops/courses on being your best and being yourself and more than 3,000 diary entries, I believe I know who I am and I remain very disappointed that my siblings cannot see how their everyday actions of excluding me, not showing me respect and accusing me of lying are all actions intended to provide cover for Mom and Dad’s conduct and behavior.

§ What they don’t see is that I don’t blame out parents; however, they’d have to go through my writings to understand why I believe that’s true and that my actual intent for talking about any of these things is not only to seek truth and knowledge but to break down barriers, demonstrate how much of what went on was handed down from the previous generation and that the ONLY thing I want to ensure is that the dysfunctional, negative, critical and homophobic attitudes DO NOT get handed down to my nieces and nephews. Mom would ask “why do you bring that up?” “Mom, I bring it up because no one has brought it up previously, thus, it becomes engrained and passed down to the next generation. I DO NOT WANT ANY NIECE OR NEPHEW TO GO THROUGH EVEN SOME OF WHAT I DID; I WANT THEM TO FEEL BUILT-UP, NOT TORN DOWN!!

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itsnotresilience · 3 years

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How I “live” with PTSD

A reflection on my general existence in the past 30 years that is causing problems right now

I talked to one of my favorite current workmates today. I’m sure she won’t mind if I share that she’s a calming presence in my life. She’s a survivor, like me. She survived different things in different ways, but her ongoing experiences make her easier to communicate my ongoing experiences to. She “gets it”. This is a hard thing to say but there is a very strong significance and difference between those who “ get it” and those who “don’t”. There’s varying degrees of those two dichotomies too like, “get it, but can’t relate” this where they may have survived something but can’t relate their experience to another’s experience (this version is quite common in the boomer and silent generations). The “don’t get it, don’t care” is the strongest degree of, this experience you’re describing makes me really uncomfortable and /or your experience is an excuse for behavior I didn’t experience when this hard thing happened to me. This last version is unfortunately rampant right now, but more on that later.

Back to my friend. We were talking about my first essay and I made a joke that wasn’t actually funny but a ridiculous truism. I said something like, it’s like that movie about the family that survived the tsunami in Southeast Asia (The Impossible)- we all just watched them survive. We didn’t actually know what they experienced from an internal perspective. And I immediately apologized for making such an insensitive comment but she assured me, I was right. We learned how this family physically survived and what they physically endured from a visual context. In my brain though, I usually respond at the end of such movies, with deadpan cynicism, “and now the family spends years and years in therapy”. That cynicism comes from a place of knowing that surviving an event, a trauma, isn’t the end of the story.

I want to know how that family went home and resumed their normal lives. I want to know, can you go swimming? Are you afraid of water, beaches? Do you wake up sweaty or screaming from night terrors? Are your children communicating and socializing normally? The questions keep going for me because I want to understand how someone resumes life after these types of events. That doesn’t make for an exciting/captivating movie. There’s been attempts, dramatic movies, about someone’s life well after the event, where we meet them as broken/damaged people. In these depictions we still don’t spend a lot of time knowing what they are feeling. We are seeing this character, react to an event that typically is commonly understood (we all know this event happened, or at least most of us believe or saw it happen) and watching them cope in real time but it’s really expressed as an outcome and not a phase in their journey. I feel like I might be spending a lot of time on this point but I think it’s justified. We need to see that character get better in the span of a movie. We need to see them meet someone or a bunch of someones that help them magically understand they have survived and can focus on living now and so, let it go. This is just ridiculous frankly and sets all of us up to feel like absolute failures should we ever be these survivors. This socialized idea is what creates the variations I described earlier. Those that are still surviving and feeling shame that they still aren’t over it and those demanding that we get over it, that it’s time now for a resolution.

I’m here to say that’s dysfunctional. We can’t operate that way for much longer. There has to be a forum, a social means, of talking about and dealing with really hard shit. This needs to not include a measuring mechanism ( my shit was harder than your shit, therefore you need to be over your shit now because it’s easier than mine) and not emphasize agreement (I don’t agree your shit is hard. Your shit isn’t really shit. Your shit is an excuse to justify your behavior and life status. Your shit makes you a victim/martyr). You’ve all heard and read these reactions to trauma. You all know they exist. There’s so many of us stuck in survival that share our secret bond that I’m struck by why it’s even a secret. It’s the shame element and socialized fear of the reactions that keep us hidden, forever talking to only those that “get it”.

It’s not from lack of trying. In various times of my life, I’ve dedicated an amount of my energy to sharing to promote understanding ( I’m doing it now, right?). In my twenties, that was volunteering as a victim advocate at a women’s shelter and joining a sexual assault survival group. In my teens, it was writing personal essays that I angrily shared with my naive peers. In my thirties, it was....nothing at all until almost my forties. In my forties, it has been my rededication of myself to sharing my journey in hopes that it helps, not only me, but others- that it brings others out of their secret clubs to say, I get it and I want others to get it.

When I talk about living with PTSD, it’s not in a continuum. I’m always “living with it” but I’m not always “experiencing it”. This is hard to explain so I’m going to try specifically explaining a symptom and how I live with it but don’t continually experience it. I’ve talked before, maybe offhandedly, about my startle response. I have an incredibly strong startle response to a specific trigger- someone being behind me without me knowing that they are there. When I began to live with a child, this became something I had to confront. Children love hide and seek. They love to jump out and say boo! Early in my time with my stepson, he jumped out and startled me. He was 4 or 5 and I froze. He was laughing and I wasn’t. Maybe if we had lived together from birth we would have come to this agreement without speaking. I wouldn’t have played that game with him. That’s not any parents fault though. That’s a normal kid game to play. My stepson didn’t do anything wrong and my reaction was not the one he expected. My reaction was not one I could control. When Eric later got home, I asked him to help me come up with an age appropriate response. He was not in trouble. He did nothing wrong. Meghan doesn’t like that game. You can play that game with daddy, but Meghan likes different games. I’m still not sure this was the right approach. Since I’m not his biological parent, I then walk away feeling my boundaries and reactions are now imposed on this child. It feels unfair to him and I feel bad for being me.

As my stepson got older, this conversation came up again. I was listening to something on headphones, a work call, fairly recently. I was very focused on the conversation and didn’t hear him come downstairs and approach behind me to wait to ask me something. Suddenly, their was a sensation for me that someone was behind me. I didn’t even walk through the logical conclusion that it was my stepson. I jumped and yelled, don’t stand there! He seemed confused and just scurried to the kitchen. I closed my eyes, wanting to cry. I just said softly, just give me a moment and we’ll talk about this, ok? Those next forever many minutes I was on that call but no longer listening. Luckily, it wasn’t one I had any chance of talking in. No one was going to endlessly be calling my name, wondering if someone came to my door or I had to let the dog out. I sat there and breathed through my panic, thinking about how I was going to talk to this sweet teenage boy about what just happened. After the call, I moved my next meeting. It was good that it was my meeting and small enough to shuffle. Otherwise, I would have declined and excused myself for family issue. You may wonder why that’s necessary, unless you’re in a secret club. The club of people managing work and family life, in one shared space. This is a large, not so secret club these days, but I have plenty of friends who express the difficulty in it and it’s hardly acknowledged publicly as something that is there in the work environment now.

Anyway, I sat next to him and said, very gently, “I’m really sorry I yelled at you. You didn’t do anything wrong.” I was breathing through my nose deeply to avoid the strong, sad, emotions I was having. I then sighed, figuring it was time to go a little deeper than that with him, that he was ready for a little more and that maybe I could talk to Eric about when I can give him “the big picture”. I said, “I get startled really easily. I don’t react well to being startled. That’s my problem to manage. I’ll work harder to manage it better.” That’s as far as I could go without opening up my past and present to this child and exposing him to a world he doesn’t know. I’m not making that decision as a non-biological parent. With shared parenting, there’s a whole world of implications in deciding what a child is ready to know and I can’t decide that by myself. When Eric got home, I remember asking him, is he ready to hear what happened to me? I mean, he knows what happened to me in June of this year, but is he ready to know what already happened to me, before that- the origin of this startle response? We decided it could be a general, non-specific introduction and that I could offer a “next time” suggestion. As he gets closer to an age of dealing with consent in real time, there will have to be space for the longer conversation that will have to be agreed on by committee. But for now, I said later, “Something really bad happened to me when I was your age. What happened to me in June reminded me of that bad thing. It makes me very sensitive to people being behind me. Maybe next time, just keep walking to the middle of the room or text me to ask me a question”. Again, I move away from this knowing this isn’t ideal, feeling I’ve burdened him with my mess and hating myself for being this person.

That moment cemented what I hadn’t acknowledged out loud, except to my running coach, my PT, and my therapist. My PTSD response is back, unchecked, running rampant, uncontrolled and unhinged. I was always living with PTSD, but that response,that startle to heavy panic, hadn’t come up for awhile. I could do lots of things without it interfering. At one point, I wasn’t even sure I could run again without it rushing through my body. I’d be running and start obsessing about the sidewalk, placing my feet, imagining how I could fall better. I’d be running down a path, and hear a heavier, faster foot fall behind me and hold my breath and turn my head to see,is that trouble? Once it happened three times during a run and I had to stop and walk because I was so frustrated with myself. So many gentle voices offered me context and advice. I’ve been trying them all, including congratulating my brain at being so awesome at recognizing danger.

The truth is, I don’t feel like that’s awesome. I don’t agree with that meditation. I feel broken and wrong. I feel abnormal and frustrated. I feel angry that I’m so deep in this, again, and that I’m just surviving and that my life is interfered. It’s testing my patience,which is not a strength of mine. I’m not patient with myself, and my journey. I want to be over it because I’m socialized to believe I should be over it because other people are over it. These are the lies we tell ourselves. No one is really over it, or better at it or more normal. We are all living on a spectrum of surviving/living/thriving, with those elements intertwined in our days. We have things we subconsciously accept as our reality. We have things that stress us out and cause momentary to days worth of anxiety. We have moments, maybe long timeframes, of freedom- of thriving in our present state. At any given moment, we could cycle through all that again.

I want to keep sharing because when I started this essay tonight, I had a different symptom in mind but thought startle response might be more relatable for you due to my accident in June of this year. I should stop using the word accident. I haven’t found the right description yet. Incident (do you have a word idea?)? Anyway, I was awake tonight and thinking about dissociation. This is another grossly misunderstood symptom of trauma response. The flight I was talking about in my Thursday essay. I was thinking about how I could describe it, acknowledge it, grapple with it. I was thinking about how it all will be explained later, in a group of timeframe essays I’m not ready to rewrite.

I was thinking about the story we so often see about dissociation, how rare that form is, and how it robs all of us who grapple with dissociation from help and empathy. Dissociation is so tied to severe mental illness, you think you must be really fucking crazy to have it and do it. This is a lie I tell myself, and it needs to stop. Dissociation has been depicted, socially, in books and movies as the most extreme, rare, and hotly debated form-multiple personality disorder. This is the character that develops identities to protect themselves from some grim childhood trauma that took place and created a maladapted identity/sense of self. They are nearly always a monster. There is nearly always a rage or evil identity that has committed some horrific act. In some depictions, the identities are fake, a rouse to get away with some horrific act. In other depictions, time or space forgotten or not remembered is evidence of guilt or lying. This is a lie we tell ourselves.

This isn’t how the vast majority of people experience dissociation and dissociation is real. It is real to not be in your “self”. It is real to run purely on motor memory and check out. It’s not like then some other Meghan shows up. It’s not like I plan ahead so I can commit some evil act and then later say I don’t remember doing that or being there (I’ve never committed an illegal act. I’ve exhibited very bad behavior, made very bad decisions, while being checked out- only to relive it later, to my extreme shame and horror). This is hard to explain to anyone. Most people doubt your sincerity and think you are making an excuse. How can I say, I learned this? How can I say there’s times in my life I can’t control shifting in and out of this space? How do you explain, some hidden moment that happened years ago just got triggered by some totally random occurrence (more on that in a future essay)? How do I say it’s not only pain I protect myself from? How do I explain that at its most severe, I don’t allow myself to feel joy either? I don’t make a conscious choice. There’s been phases in my life I’ve spent months and years checked out. I get so good at it, I don’t know I’m doing it and I rob myself of experiencing any emotion fully, including happiness. Again, you might read that and think, you’re lying to yourself Meghan. I’ve seen your, heard your, read your emotions. Raw expressions of emotions are different then physically engaging in that emotion. It’s hard to really explain that. I’ll give an example.

A few weeks ago, I admitted to having suicidal thoughts. I had expressed sadness. I had expressed fear. But those feelings were separate from me. I was expressing them while keeping myself from experiencing them. I was protecting myself from being pulled in by them. I was ensuring that I wouldn’t circle the drain so my idea was, just keep moving. I know I’m doing this. I’m making a choice to protect myself from bad outcomes. This was the first time I’d ever used it as a chosen coping skill and not just some symptomatic thing that happens when it happens. Anyway, one day, my created wall failed. I felt all the things and quickly got overwhelmed. I was exhausted from health issues and couldn’t fight anymore. I gave in. This is hard for me to write. I wanted to die. I had to stop there and grieve.

It’s hard to express what it’s like to be in that moment, so exasperated with yourself that there’s this one magical door that says “Exit”. People think it’s some selfish plotted construct. That’s a lie we tell ourselves. Suicide feels selfish to those left behind, coping with grief. I may not be thinking about your grief in that moment but is the only logical reason that I’m selfish? Could it be not about you in that moment? Could it be not about how my friends and family will have to cope with my death but about what I’m saving them from? In those moments, I feel so broken, so burdensome, that all I see is the misery I create for others- how unfair my mere existence is to the lives of others, how my problems unfairly create strife, difficulties and issues. It’s a distorted lens of extreme suffering and self hatred. Those of us that have been here and survived it know this truth, yet the lie of suicide ideation exists. The lie of attention-getting persists. The lie of melodrama and manipulative tactics gets overplayed. Our inability to engage in real discussion of why people think about, plan, attempt, and commit or survive suicide is what keeps us from managing mental health effectively.

We create toxicity and monsters out of our friends and family who suffer in silence, afraid of the shame and callousness. I know. I’ve done that to a family member- me! Someone’s who’s been there! I’ve dismissed their experience and rolled my eyes and decided they were toxic. And it might be different, how that plays out. People may be more aggressive in their displays of struggle. Some might push their broken world outward, versus inward, and it shows up as “your fault” because it’s easier to blame others than deal with themselves. These are the people we label as toxic. I don’t know if that’s right or not. I grapple with it constantly, understanding the symptom, but not the outcome. Not yet ready to face the times my rage pushed outward. The lie I tell myself is that I’m better than that, I don’t blame others. That might be true the majority of them time. Most of my hate and rage is completely internalized, but there’s places in my mind, things in my life, that I blame others. Frankly, there is some blame to share in some experiences, as in what happened and how it was managed, especially in adult-child or couple sharing lives scenarios. In adult- child, the adult is the guardian and responsible for helping the child achieve better outcomes. In couples, there’s a mutual understanding ( well, there should be) that our decisions and outcomes impact each other and we have to work through it separately and together. One person drops the ball and the other, can start to feel blame for the outcome. Like if that family came home from that tsunami and wife went to therapy and husband checked out. They are both coping but that outcome won’t be good and there’s a high probability for the wife to blame the husband for that outcome because, “I did something while you escaped.”

I’ve almost lost track of my point and I might be rambling. My point is this. There are plenty of lies we tell ourselves, each other and strangers. There’s plenty of ways we demonize the uncomfortable and misunderstood. There’s plenty of ways we separate ourselves, make ourselves better than others. We can understand the struggle, the journey, without doing any of these things. We can see past the survival and learn from each other’s journeys. The how did you do that? The how did you get through that? What can I learn that might help me in my journey? There’s always something, even if that something is, I understand that persons behavior, I don’t accept it but I want to avoid doing that myself. That’s what I was getting at. I can learn from outcomes I initially judge as not as good as mine. I can learn how not to be there. Maybe someone else is reading this and thinking, oh that’s what that is- that thing I do- now I know what to name it, maybe I can work on recognizing it, maybe I can see it’s usefulness in hard times and learn when it’s not so useful. Maybe, just maybe, these are good tools designed for the journey and it’s more about how we think and talk about them. For me, it’s about a 30 year lie I’ve told myself. A lie encouraged by the society around me. A lie that I am broken. A lie that I’m made wrong. A lie that I’m toxic. A lie that I don’t deserve love. Those lies have to be confronted and dispelled. I don’t have room for them anymore. I can’t live with those ideas anymore, because I’m not living. I’m just jumping from one survival time to the next with a lot of forgotten joy in between. And yes, that makes me very sad. I grieve for that lost time, spent living in that much self hate and sadness and strife. It’s what my journey was, but it needs to be different now. I have to move the goal posts and say, these lies, these perpetual tapes, are wrong. I deserve to have a good life. You do too. I hope that family who survived that tsunami is thriving and I want to know that part of the journey. I want to share my experience not as shame and self hatred, but of what worked, what didn’t, and they are both okay.

I want some day to feel like my life, what I’ve been through, has helped someone and maybe that person might be just me. But maybe, I could help grow a self-aware empathetic man. Maybe I can get you out of your secret club and we can share good learning. Maybe all of us get it and more of us are ready to live in the light. I am.

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comicteaparty · 5 years

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December 24th-December 30th, 2018 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from December 24th, 2018 to December 30th, 2018. The chat focused on Cat-Person by P.Lo.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Cat-Person by P.Lo~! (https://catpersoncomic.tumblr.com/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PST), so keep checking back for more! You have until December 30th to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 3. Why do you think Neko refuses to go outside and has, in general, a grumpy attitude? Do you believe this is something she’ll eventually overcome at the current rate?

QUESTION 4. Will Neko and Eleanor be able to overcome the tension in their relationship? If so, how? Do you feel Neko’s attitude towards Eleanor is justified or vice versa? Will Neko ultimately ruin her dad’s relationship with Eleanor?

Delphina

(Content warning for anybody who needs it: Suicidal thoughts/attempts are a central theme in this comic)

So the creator describes this as a "serialized psychological-thriller". Neko is our viewpoint character, she's clearly got some unaddressed mental health issues that nobody around her is qualified to deal with, and as such becomes the most sympathetic. But it's clear that everyone starts from a deeply flawed baseline, and the creator is using things like porn addiction, alcoholism, and vegan diets to paint everyone in those "shades of grey".

From the about page:

“When a last-minute business trip forces DAD to leave home for a week, he enlists his eager girlfriend ELEANOR to take care of his reclusive daughter NEKO, which leads to jealousy, passive-aggressiveness, and… Bloodshed.”

So based on the tension, and clues being dropped around with Neko pocketing the key, and how controlling Eleanor is getting, I'm not expecting this to be a gentle healing story where everyone comes to understand one another. Things are going to go WAY south, perhaps physically and psychologically violent between Neko and Eleanor.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 5. Do you think Neko’s dad will be able to get a grip on his own problems, such as his drinking? How might his problems affect his relationship with Neko and Eleanor as the story continues?

keii4ii

I must say, I'm super impressed with how the art style and the repetitive format contribute to the storytelling. The clean style, the pretty but understated colors, the calm repetition of the three panel format... All of it contrasts against the turbulence and the ugliness of what's happening under the surface, and it's extremely effective.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 6. In what ways do you believe Neko’s life is reflected in the story she’s writing, especially given she mentioned taking aspects form it? What could that mean for the current state of Neko’s life?

RebelVampire

1) i really enjoy the first lunch scene when its just eleanor and neko because i find it to be a hard slap of truth in how communication can quickly go awry. eleanor is clearly well-meaning, but because of her personal insecurities about her position with neko and her own personal life beliefs, she winds up being pushy. but on the otherhand, neko is kind of a brat in general, even if i empathize with her more in that scene. but inevitably i really enjoyed the character dynamics in this particular scene cause they felt all too real and made my heart hurt. because neither character involved is awful, they just arent on the same page of communication. and that fact i think is really poignant for the darker tones of the story. 2) favorite character is probably neko's dad. because despite his own issues, he is an honest soul trying to balance helping neko while having his own life. he woefully underqualified to help neko, obviously, but hes trying at least.

3) i go back and forth on neko's decision to not leave the house. on the one hand, it could be hinting she might have extreme social anxiety or a form of agoraphobia. but on the otherhand, as someone who doesnt like to go outside, it could be she just doesnt like to go outside. not everyone gets a kick out of what the outside has to offer (often cause a lot of the more interesting things to do also cost zounds of money). so in a sense, i kind of feel it might be a mix? in that in general she just doesnt enjoy it, but that she does have some anxiety issues that doubly encourage her not to go out either. as for overcoming it, fff, it's not looking likely. as others have mentioned, she's really in need of some professional help, and atm she is not getting that. but as for the going outside thing, i dont think she necessary needs to overcome it. ppl can live healthy lives while staying mostly indoors. its mroe about whether it's hurting her quality of life. but i like the fact its not entirely clear in this regard, cause it makes neko more sympathetic in regards to her reactions to eleanor

4) I feel both character's attitudes is both justified and unjustified. as i mentioned with favorite scene, they both have their positive and negative sides. neko has issues but is also kind of a brat. eleanor is well-meaning but extremely pushy and inconsiderate. but in the end i dont think it matters who is more justified. theyre both right and both at fault, which is great because in general this is the gray situations we often face in real life. as for overcoming the tension in their relationship, eh, probably not. but in all honesty i dont think the dad and eleanor's relationship is gonna work out. i think at the end it's the dad's own unaddressed issues that are going to sabotage the relationship, nothing that neko does. but i do think neko is gonna feel like it's her fault and i think shes gonna feel guiliter about it then she suspects she will despite her general dislike of eleanor

5) as said in the end of 4, i think his own issues are what's actually going to ruin the relationship with eleanor. alcohol addiction leads to bad places and makes ppl not themselves. so i can only see it going badly. as for neko, i kind of think the same thing is gonna happen, more because he's not going to get neko the help she needs. inevitably, this story is on a downward spiral because everyone is sad and nobody seems to dealing with their issues in a healthy manner as of yet.

RebelVampire

6) before i speculate, i just want to say i love that the story flat out tells out neko's life is being reflected in her own story. because this is an element that would be left to reader speculation on simile and metaphor and stuff. but since this story is upfront about it, i actually think it makes room for a lot of tension building. since the story neko is writing is revealed in bits and pieces, this allows us to get the occassional view into neko's psyche. as the story she's writing gets darker, we get a window side view into neko's inner turmoil. and the more turmoil, the more worried you get since it's clear her mental situation atm might not be the most stable. now speculation, while i dont think neko is some secret killer of those around her through supernatural means, i do think shes reflecting the fact that she feels like a burden on those around her. which is somewhat interesting and also very sad. the extreme manifestation shown in her story makes me think neko has a very distorted self image. but on the otherhand, at the current moment its hard to say she isnt bit of a burden, though mostly in regards to her being a bit of brat just cause her dad wants to dad. but in a way, she kind of self fulfills the prophecy. and inevitably its just this cycle that leads her down a dark road that is overall very depressing but still interesting to see portrayed in this way.

Delphina

I was curious how old she was/what their financial situation is. She's of legal age to drink I guess, so she's an adult. Nothing like getting a job or her ever living independently has come up, so I assume the dad has that covered or is at the very least not mentioning that out of consideration of her mental health. But they can't afford more than one laptop for him to take on his business trip and her to write on?

And surely giving your shut-in daughter internet access would make life somewhat less isolating for her? Especially since internet communication has been established as something the dad does for support, it feels like a particularly odd situation. C'mon man, get your girl an iPad and let her do NaNoWriMo or something.(edited)

keii4ii

Was she actually legal to drink? I was under the impression that it was a special occasion only thing. (which isn't too uncommon IRL even if it's not legal?)

Delphina

I guess, but damn, that makes him an even WORSE dad.

They don't mention school or anything either, so I'm a little unclear.

keii4ii

Yeah...

Delphina

Regarding her writing, I think the dog/cat dichotomy that comes up in Neko's story that she's writing is a big theme (and well, the comic's called Cat-person, and she's named "neko" which means "cat" in Japanese). I'm assuming the parallel here is Neko is not actually the guy in her writing, but the cat. She's aloof, hard for anyone to read, stays away from people, gets violent. Eleanor's possibly the pushy, happy and over-attentive dog?

RebelVampire

i was super confused how old shes supposed to be, but i eventually settled on late teen based on 1) her general appearance and stature looks more teen/young adult to me and 2) a lot of the other stuff you mentioned. like shes very much being treated like a kid and not capable of being someone being independent. but to be fair, id ballpark maybe 17 or 18. so someone who is kind of an adult but not ready to be an adult by a long shot, which isnt uncommon for that age. i got the same impression as keii did about the drinking. that it was just a special occassion thing. neko just goes overboard and the dad doesnt punish her. which tbf to him, im sure hes worried about setting her off or something like that.

as for the laptop thing, i actually assumed that had nothing to do with their financial situation. i mean it might, but i got more the impression that he was protecting her and just in general didnt want her near the internet or things like that. which tbf i can understand that pov. cause as much as the internet can help, it can also hurt. cyberbullying is a real thing after all and we dont really have an established past for neko that lead her to do what she did. not to mention he might be afraid of what shes gonna search where he cant see. like what if she starts looking up "how to kill myself in [insert manner here]" alternatively, he also might just not want her to see whatever porn he has on the computer, cause id bet my soul he has porn on that laptop.

thats a good catch with the dog/cat dichotomy though. i didnt even notice it cause i was too busy fuss worrying over eleanor not caring where the key is

way to watch over neko, eleanor

Delphina

Oh yeah, there was a strip where he was doing some kind of adult chat and he deleted his browsing history before giving his computer to Neko, so he totally had porn on his laptop.

That's true about the internet possibly being a bad thing that he could feel he needs to protect her from. I think that sort of history of how she interacted when she WASN'T avoiding the world would really add a lot of depth to Neko and make her more sympathetic.

That said, the author has done a really good job of making the environment feel uncomfortably tight and trapped, so sympathetic characters might not be what they want for this story and might reduce the sense of tension we feel right now.(edited)

RebelVampire

yeah i def agree. it does feel tight and trapped. especially whenever eleanor is there cause whenever eleanor is around i feel like her constant talking serves to make the place feel more cramped.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 7. Why do you believe the fridge magnets spell out helpful sayings like “ask for help?” Who did it and for what purpose? What is the thematic significance?

Delphina

I suspect the fridge word art is Neko. It might be symbollic of her own subconscious trying to give her advice, or her way of communicating with her dad about his own poor way of dealing with problems.

RebelVampire

(the archive for the chat on Lovespells is now available! @thisintermezzo https://comicteaparty.com/post/181479135680/december-17th-december-23rd-2018-ctp-archive)

RebelVampire

QUESTION 8. How do you think the title, “Cat-Person,” ties into the story’s themes and topics? What does this title tell us about Neko or the other characters?

Delphina

(Going back to a previous topic, it looks like the pages that were added in the last few days do clarify that Neko does have agoraphobia/fear of leaving the house and she is an adult - https://catpersoncomic.tumblr.com/)

RebelVampire

idk if i consider that a confirmation shes an adult. but definitely old enough to drive.

Delphina

Neko knowing her phobias definitely makes me wonder why the dad wouldn't have told Eleanor those things. It seems like the kind of thing that I would have told my girlfriend before she met my daughter? And I have to hope Eleanor would have been broaching these subjects with more tact if these were known diagnoses.

Anyway, yah, the title "Cat-Person" seems to have ties in with Neko's name and the cat mentioned in her story. The stereotype of cats is that they don't like being around others and feel crowded/lash out pretty easily, which fits Neko pretty well at this point. Since it's such a core part of her identity, I'm curious if/how it can shift.

RebelVampire

the dad might have told eleanor tbf. she very much comes across as one of those ppl who thinks all mental issues are something you can just get over. or even if she isnt, i highly doubt eleanor did any research about it and attempted to actually understand.

it wouldnt surprise me if he didnt tell her. tbh, i dont think the dad really takes neko's fear of the outside all that serious either

i feel more he just tolerates it but doesnt understand the full extent of the problem

cause he seems kind of willing to indulge and spoil neko to a degree just so he doesnt have to deal with everything

Delphina

Hmmm, yeah, good point

RebelVampire

but to a degree i also understand cause hes got his own issues to work through. and ppl who have their own mental issues arent the best suited to help others in a lot of cases.

well more in the sense that neither are actively working to heal

so just arent in good places to help each other

keii4ii

I was actually wondering if he didn't tell her because he's a terrible dad and was worried it might drive Eleanor away from him

But I also like the idea of Eleanor having been told, but deliberately acting like she doesn't know

RebelVampire

tbh tho i could also believe he just never found the right time to tell eleanor

cause these are not casual things you drop down on your girlfriend

although i am leaning towards eleanor just didnt care

cause clearly she was told neko tried to commit suicide since she wasnt surprised at all

keii4ii

That, I was guessing (well, it was one of my guesses) Eleanor didn't actually take Neko seriously at the time and saw it as a younger person being an edgelord for attention

But any of these interpretations are possible at this time

RebelVampire

i think that is a good way to put it tho

that is 100% how i see eleanor fewing neko

as some young edgelord

that and she strikes me as one of those ppl who believes sunshine and fresh air will fix any illness

modern medicine be damned

RebelVampire

7) i kind of assume neko did the fridge word art for no other reason that shes a writer. so just makes sense. though i kind of feel like her father maybe encouraged her to do it. like put some positive affirmations on the fridge of some sort. i feel like their significance is to show something like how even when ppl can know what they have to do (like ask for help for instance) the actual execution of that is flawed and contingent on those around us. so asking for help is not necessarily a for sure path that lead to healing. or something like that. 8) as Delphina said, cats are "stereotyped" as being creatures that lash out and are relatively solitary (i quote stereotype cause as a cat owner annd lover, nah, cats are bundles of terror and these are accurate descriptions XD). the unfortunate thing is that ppl tend to assume these same traits apply to "cat people." which fits neko, but i also think in some way it also speaks of how ppl are auto putting their assumptions on her. in that the more they assume shes gonna lash out, the more she does so, and then its just a downward spiral. i think eleanor shows us the story is equally about ppls judgements and assumptions of who we are, in the same way people assume cat people are exactly like cats. and in so doing the title is also talking about how neko is being put into a box that is not conducive to her changing even if she wanted to, because people are already assuming certain things about her even before she meets or bonds with them

(i hope that drabble made sense cause im tired and about to go to bed XD)

RebelVampire

QUESTION 9. Do you believe Neko’s father’s attitude and precautions towards her since her attempted suicide is justified, or is it more likely making the situation worse? What do you think will become of the issue regarding the locked up knife drawer and missing key?

RebelVampire

QUESTION 10. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

RebelVampire

9) I think Neko's father's handling of the situation is kind of a mix of both. I can understand taking precautions so Neko can heal without being in danger. However, he's not doing a lot of other stuff he should be doing to help her get better. As for the key thing, I think it's gonna hurt the dad more than Neko. Cause I can just picture Eleanor mentioning it casually and the Dad fighting with her wondering how Eleanor could be so irresponsible. Or something like that. I'm gonna be optimistic rather than assume worst case. O_O 10) I'm looking forward to seeing where else the story Neko is writing goes. I really love how tied in that story is to the comic's story and it really helps build tension and makes for a really interesting read.

keii4ii

I'm looking forward to seeing actual changes, be they positive or negative... or suuuper negative even. So far there's been a lot of establishing what each character is like (which is necessary, and done very well). I mean, Eleanor being introduced to Neko's life is a change to her life, but not yet a change in her character. I feel like the point we're at is a cusp of some real changes...

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Cat-Person this week! Please also give a special thank you to P.Lo for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Cat-Person, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: https://catpersoncomic.tumblr.com/

P.Lo’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/pleaseleaveon?lang=en

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #book club #bookclub #webcomic bookclub #webcomic book club #comic tea party #ctp #cat-person #p.lo

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waynekelton · 5 years

Text

The Best Games like XCOM on Android & iOS

XCOM: Enemy Unknown won multiple game-of-the-year awards in 2012 for its turn-based tactical gameplay centered on a squad of combatants. The expansion, XCOM: Enemy Within, was similarly well received upon its release in 2013 and brought the franchise to the mobile market on both the iOS and Android platforms in 2014. The success of these XCOM games inspired many game developers to try their hand at the genre.

In 2015 we got Deathwatch: Tyranid Invasion, set in the Warhammer 40K universe, and one of my personal favorites Templar Battleforce. We've also Demon's Rise 2 (another Pocket Tactics GOTY recipient) and Invisible, Inc. All of these games feature tactical turn-based action that can be favorably compared to the XCOM games.

Below is collection of great games that evoke that tactical gameplay that XCOM fans know and love. Some we've reviewed, many we haven't. We've put some emphasis on games released in the last couple of years, but also aimed for a good cross-section of options out there. Naturally we can't include every title with gameplay similar to XCOM and would love to see other options called out in the comments below.

Community Suggestions

Deathwatch: Tyranid Invasion

The Banner Saga series

Shieldwall Chronicles

Skulls of the Shogun

Highborn

Xenowar

Developer: Grinning Lizard Platforms: Android Price: $1.99

Xenowar is a brilliant distillation of the razor-sharp tactical challenges of XCOM, though it does sacrifice some scale and endgame satisfaction in favor of presenting a clean-cut intense series of battles. In particular, the GEO mode is a smart compromise between a full-fledged life-consuming, planet-saving, alien-cleansing XCOM campaign and a single strategic arc that a dedicated gamer can accomplish in just a few sittings. It takes a lot of presence of mind to create games like this, which understand what’s great and reiterate it without becoming derivative or redundant in the process. Oh, and it’s open-source to boot.

Strike Team Hydra (Review)

Developer: Wave Light Games Platforms: iOS | Android Price: $7.99, $6.49

Hydra’s best point is how creative and wide its customization options are, both in terms of squad composition and difficulty level. The plotting and theme are boilerplate, but in terms of mechanics, stats and abilities, the game is brimming with possibilities. Psionics and physics add some flair and unusual effects to the classes, and the enemies are weird bio-machine hybrids. All this wouldn’t matter a whit if the game’s buffet of options was paired with anything but an equally rich campaign. Here, Strike Team Hydra delivers again, ratcheting up the scenarios, objectives and enemy types just as generously as it doled out strategic tools. It strikes a great balance between question and answer; risk and reward; problem and solution.

Frozen Synapse

Developer: Mode 7 Platforms: Android Price: $9.99, $4.31

Along with the top-down isometric perspective, Frozen Synapse made one other amazing change to the standard tactical shooter formula. Each side takes turns planning their actions in secrecy, mapping out the steps their units will take, the shots they will fire. Then the game will resolve everyone’s programmed actions creating a ‘simultaneous’ turn that was nonetheless meticulously choreographed by those tacticians. One good idea, perfectly rendered, is enough to make a good game. Frozen Synapse fulfills this crystal-clear ideal.

Templar Battleforce (Review)

Developer: Trese Brothers Platforms: iOS | Android Price: $9.99

Space marines versus xenomorphs, loosely derived from the Ur-horrors of Alien. Templar Battleforce owes some thematic debts to Warhammer and others, but its rapid-fire pacing and generous respect system are wonderful tools for experimentation and strategy. There’s some light characterization and world-building, sure, but in lieu of story one has to respect Templar Battleforce’s varied scenarios and equally creative squads allow divergent thinking. To a man with a hammer, everything is a nail, but to a commander with endlessly variable squads, the mutating threat can be met with an equally sundry...battleforce.

Aliens versus Humans

Developer: Leisurerules Inc. Platforms: iOS | Android Price: $2.99

We'll start with an option that predates Enemy Within on mobile. Aliens versus Humans is an old game. So old that if you buy it for iOS you'll get the warning about it slowing down your device since the developer hasn't updated the game to Apple's standards. That warning is often meaningless and misleading and you should go ahead and ignore it in this case.

Aliens versus Humans is effectively a clone of the very first XCOM game from back in 1994.It features base management, research, manufacturing, and of course tactical combat against alien enemies. The graphics are retro and nothing to get excited about, but the gameplay is solid, combat is challenging, and there's a whole lot of content for a couple bucks. You can bring a huge squad to battle which allows for more options to face threats than games that top out with a team of four or so. It also lets you play the attrition game to grind out victories. So while Aliens versus Humans is over three-years-old at this point, it is well worth considering if you're looking for XCOM-like action.

Alien Star Menace

Developer: The Animal Farm Creations Platforms: Android Price: Free

The first of a couple free options in this article is a little game called Alien Star Menace. Aliens have attacked the starship Paladin and it's up to you to save the day. Alien Star Menace is light-hearted and looks pretty basic at first glance but it actually packs a good tactical punch. You pick a five-person squad from a variety of special units with different pros and cons and take them into missions on different levels of the Paladin.

The mission objectives are things like "Kill Everything" and "Reach the Stairs" and the game rewards smart decisions like making good use of choke points and ranged attackers. Missions are very quick and perfect for bite-sized play sessions on your phone, which is often a big plus for gamers these days. Alien Star Menace is also free-to-play with no IAP. There are ads, which can be annoying, but the frequency is very low and I didn't find them to be overly obtrusive. I'm happy to recommend this one as a free gaming option for XCOM fans.

World of Warriors: Quest

Developer: Mind Candy Ltd. Platforms: iOS | Android Price: Free

World of Warriors: Quest is a light turn-based tactical game where you play as a team of warriors from across the ages—Roman centurions, Viking berserkers, and stealthy ninjas for example. The characters fill your standard RPG roles. The Roman, Brutus, is a tank and taunts enemies with his attacks to keep their attention. Gunnar, the Viking warrior, is a decent balance of damage and survivability. The ninja is named Kuro and he's the glass cannon—big area-of-effect damage but very low health. Those are the starting characters but you encounter more as the game goes on.

You choose three warriors to take on a number of quests that lead you across the Wildlands on a mission to discover what the local bad guys are up to. Each quest has several waves of fights and it can be a challenge to keep your team upright and alive so you don't succumb to attrition. Each warrior has special attacks to make use of and there are also consumables֫ that recover health, enable big attacks, or provide extra movement speed. World of Warriors: Quest is not a particularly deep game, but good for those interested in light squad-based tactics. You also can't beat the price—this one is free with no IAPs or ads.

The Last Warlock

Developer: Sonic Sloth Platforms: iOS | Android Price: $3.99

youtube

The Last Warlock is a turn-based tactical game with a somewhat unique almost-anything-goes approach. You play as a warlock capable of summoning deadly creatures, casting magical spells, and crafting weapons, armour, and other equipment. You embark on a series of quests to find and defeat enemy warlocks, all vying to discover the secrets of the famed last warlock. To defeat these rivals you must first best their monsters, traps, and puzzles before taking them down.

The Last Warlock provides an extraordinary amount of freedom for a tactical game to decide exactly how to do so. You can go straight for your foe or explore a little and take the road less travelled. This provides a great deal of replay value because you can play the same quest multiple times and use a different strategy. Your squad in this game are the creatures you've summoned and you can end up with quite a crew as you grow in power and a quest wears on. The single-player campaign is quite extensive and will provide many hours of play for one premium price. There's also an asynchronous online option for those looking for multiplayer action.

Star Chindy (2016)

Developer: MAST Games Platforms: Android Price: $1.99

Star Chindy mixes in elements of both FTL and XCOM. You warp around the galaxy in your ship, the Star Chindy, in a hunt to take on and take out a big bad alien race that very nearly wiped out earth. You'll maintain and upgrade your ship, and others you pick up along the way, and decide where to go and what risks are worth taking in your travels.

You'll take a squad on various away missions and engage the enemy in turn-based tactical warfare. The missions are a good challenge and get better and better as you train up your squad. The space-based combat is less interesting, however. It plays out in real time, rather than being turn based, and your weapons auto-fire on enemy ships in range. Your job is to frantically maneuver your ships to avoid enemy fire. Luckily the fun of the squad combat more than makes up for this and despite this odd dichotomy, Star Chindy is definitely worth a go for fans of XCOM.

Do you know of any more games that would fit the topic of today's guide? Let us know about them in the comments below!

The Best Games like XCOM on Android & iOS published first on https://touchgen.tumblr.com/

1 note · View note

waynekelton · 5 years

Text

The Best Games like XCOM on Android & iOS

Community Suggestions

Deathwatch: Tyranid Invasion

The Banner Saga series

Shieldwall Chronicles

Skulls of the Shogun

Highborn

Xenowar

Developer: Grinning Lizard Platforms: Android Price: $1.99

Strike Team Hydra (Review)

Developer: Wave Light Games Platforms: iOS | Android Price: $7.99, $6.49

Frozen Synapse

Developer: Mode 7 Platforms: Android Price: $9.99, $4.31

Templar Battleforce (Review)

Developer: Trese Brothers Platforms: iOS | Android Price: $9.99

Aliens versus Humans

Developer: Leisurerules Inc. Platforms: iOS | Android Price: $2.99

Alien Star Menace

Developer: The Animal Farm Creations Platforms: Android Price: Free

World of Warriors: Quest

Developer: Mind Candy Ltd. Platforms: iOS | Android Price: Free

The Last Warlock

Developer: Sonic Sloth Platforms: iOS | Android Price: $3.99

youtube

Star Chindy (2016)

Developer: MAST Games Platforms: Android Price: $1.99

Do you know of any more games that would fit the topic of today's guide? Let us know about them in the comments below!

The Best Games like XCOM on Android & iOS published first on https://touchgen.tumblr.com/

0 notes