#the drink says mcshit

[asteraegis]

modern au jacob keeps stealing edward's clothes even tho they dont fit him

also them trying to wear each other's first looks but edward immediately gets stuck in jacob's pants

[fragmentedinnocence]

kazuha relationship hcs (m! 1/2)

summary: random ass head cannons about our beloved bastard. 1/2 cause im too lazy to finish the second half. when im done with part 2, ill just merge them together

pairing: m!reader

warning(s): mentions of alcohol consumption as well as suggestive comments and jokes

mmm yes hot canadian man that i loST THE FUCKING 50/50 TO JEAN

ya’ll were crushing on each other likes hopeless romantics and some shit smh gayest shit ive ever seen

kazuha couldnt help but get flustered every time he saw you. especially the couple days after your/his confession. bitch cannot stop smiling and turning into a god forsaken tomato

free cuddles woohoo! and kithes >:) hes a bit mean about it tho so do expect to pay him back some way. i’ll let your mind wander as to what happened that night

LOVES cooking for his s/o- and pretty much anyone!!! sometimes, when you come home from work, you’ll find hot canadian mf making some reall delicious inazuman cuisine!!

whenever kazuha makes his special dangos, he makes each.. dango-sphere thing look like an adorable ass slime. you nearly mistaken it as a plushie <’3 mihoyo wink wink nudge nudge

your relationship functions into two different ways; either its a long distance relationship or you spend time with kazoo at the crux! 

if you mostly spend your time apart, you’ll find small little souvenirs and sappy love letters being sent to your mailbox!!

if you end up following kazuha around during his journey overseas, ohhh boy.

you’re dead

at first everything seems normal. the crews chilling, flowing throughout the ocean with the wind by its side.. its quite peaceful

unless you get sea sick you’re gonna have so much fun-

when it gets darker though, its when the beer bottles start popping open. and the crew is suddenly louder then a twitter mob :’)

i’d say kazuha is more of a clingy drunk and a moron drunk. bitch does you dumb shit whenever hes drunk. prob falls asleep on your shoulder, lightly snoring n’  adorable mcshit

or, if he passes up the opportunity to drink, he’ll stargaze with you up at the front of the ship. calling out weird looking constellations and making fun out of them

or, maybe, the two of you are cuddling in your cabin. listening fondly as the waves brush by the alcor, and how the laughter that once rang freely throughout the ocean, is slowly starting to retreat to slumber... at precisely 5am

FORHEAD KISSES!!!!!!!!!!!!........ whenever hes in front of the crew and is just yknow.. to embarrassed to give you a kiss on the lips, he’d settle for your forehead- 

kazuha prob has a pretty decent alcoholic tolerance. or at least, hides his drunk..i-ness from people with his quiet demeanor and overall pretty casual behavior. but you catch on quickly 

[luminaluminesce]

This needs to fucking stop. My weight is not what you think.

I'm sick to death of being made fun of because of my weight. I'm gonna lay down the fucking facts. First of all, I never got to go out and play as a child because of the shitty neighborhood we lived in, the drugs and murders going around, and at age 4, I was diagnosed with asthma. My mum scared it into me that if I ever ran around too much, I'd end up in the hospital or maybe even die. So as I grew up and got more freedom, I never left home. Put on top of that the fact that I had no friends and was afraid to go out for fear of being bullied on a regular basis. I was bullied for being poor and having shit clothes, but mostly for my weight and I started eating less and less. To this day, I'm lucky if I eat 2 meals a day, I still struggle to feed myself on what I get and still live at home with a shit job. Anyways, I digress.

Now, I eat one meal a day, maybe two, I'm free of asthma but because I didn't go out as a kid, my lungs are weak so starting an intense workout would possibly land me in the hospital for a few days if not maybe a few weeks. But because I'm in a constant state of starvation, my body takes whatever I eat and stores it.

Here's a basic scientific fact, quoted from Ivan Nikolov;

* The body enters in the starvation mode with consequent metabolic rate slow down

* Rather significant calorie ingestion at night causes the body to store the surplus as fat

This is what's happening to me. I don't eat enough during the day, or at all and what I eat for supper is stored in my body as fat because it doesn't know when it'll be fed again.

Effects of this starvation is, AND I QUOTE:

extreme feelings of hunger

shakiness

fatigue

brain fog

headaches

feelings of weakness

inability to concentrate

binge eating

I'm starving on a daily basis, as I type my hands are shaking and multiple occasions my entire body has started shaking uncontrollably, as I type this my head is splitting and has done for a few days in a row, I'm completely exhausted most of the time and would like nothing more than to sleep for a month, at school I can't focus, and on some occasions I will binge. I will eat everything in sight because my body is saying EAT NOW BECAUSE IF YOU DONT YOU WILL DIE. I NEED CALORIES AND VITAMINS AND YOU BETTER GIVE EM TO ME.

I'm in pain, not just because I'm starving but because no one understands what it's like to go through this. It's easy for you to sit and judge when you don't know the story and you're hiding behind a screen. It's far too easy. My life has been so hard not even counting the outside problems and no one knows. Nor does anyone care because to the outside, I'm a fatass who eats too much McDonalds. Allow me to enlighten you, I can not eat McShits. I can barely eat any food. My body rejects anything I put into it so I'm sick most of the time, why would I make that worse by eating a big Mac???

I am trying to get to a somewhat normal weight, a normal size. Keep in mind too, I'm 5'10", I do a lot of heavy lifting so underneath this fat, I have quite a bit of muscle. I'm 325lbs (about 170kg for everyone else reading) but having said, I am not unhealthy. I've gone for a physical, the most recent being sometime last year, my heart is fine, my liver is working as great as a childs, compared to teens my age who binge drink and have a liver like a 50yo, my blood pressure is dead center (can't remember the specific number), everything is completely normal. And yet, I'm viewed as disgusting. Ugly. Unhealthy. Vile. Revolting. Overall a giant blob of grease.

Having said, my self confidence has dwindled, I'm hanging by a thread. I'm afraid to go to a gym, I can't even afford a membership. I'm afraid to go for a walk in public, I see people stare at me, even if they aren't, I feel their eyes. Judging. Disgusted at what I am. I've heard the horror stories of people my size walking into a gym and being laughed at. You do not laugh at someone who is trying to better themselves. Let me repeat; YOU DO NOT. LAUGH. AT SOMEONE. WHO IS TRYING. TO BETTER THEMSELVES. That behavior makes them want to quit, and it turns into an out of control downward spiral.

And when I hear that this happens in a society that wants nothing more than equality for all races, all social classes, all sexual orientations and both genders, it makes me want to curl up and die. I feel so upset, so hurt. But no one cares what the fat woman feels, she'll just eat her feelings and get fatter. Something needs to be done. It needs to stop. And I don't know how to stop it.

[where-music-will-guide-us]

Tagged by @habadabadooda

Rules: Answer the questions and tag 20 (lmao nah) followers you’d like to know better

01. Name: Brooke

02. Nickname: McFuck/McShit

03. Zodiac sign: Sagittarius

04. Height: 5′4 or 163cm

05. Orientation: Pansexual/romantic

06. Nationality: American

07. Favourite fruit: Strawberries

08. Favourite season: Winter (snow is so pretty & it makes the world so quiet)

09. Favourite book to read: I’ve read If I Stay by Gayle Forman twice now

10. Favourite movie: Howl’s Moving Castle

11. Favourite scent: Vanilla

12. Favourite colour: Green at the moment (it changes every so often)

13. Favourite animal: Cheetah

14. Coffee, Tea or Hot Cocoa: All three in moderation (I don’t drink them often)

15. Average hours of sleep: I don’t think giving you my average explains my sleep schedule enough. I either sleep for 4 hours and stay awake for 2 days, or I sleep for 2 days and stay awake for 4 hours.

16. Favourite fictional character: After a very recent conversation with a friend, I’m gonna say Mercutio from Romeo & Juliet (as if there’s another Mercutio)

17. Number of blankets to sleep with: 2

18. Dream trip: Anywhere in Europe

19. Blog created: April 19, 2013 apparently

20. Followers: Allegedly 543, but I’m sure about half of those are spam blogs

21. Random fact: I have asthma

I’m gonna tag @musician-of-the-stars, @courtneyproughen, @crown-icarus, and @alotta-somethin. Gotta get some of my new followers in on this goodness so I can get an idea of what kinda rambunctious kids are traipsing around in my backyard (my blog) these days.

[askdurianrider]

You say jeans are dehydrating. Is all tight clothing dehydrating? I got that mcshit t-shirt that you wear a while ago and I'm a slim guy and got an M but I find it pretty tight...Thanks

Drink an extra cup of water every 3 hours you wear a tight shirt. :)

[acevity]

tagged by the wonderfully lovely @azteka-the-dragon

A - Age: 18

B - Biggest fear: being forgotten by those i care about/being replaced

C - Current time: 4:50pm

D - Drink you last had: water

E - Every day starts with:   “ugh shut this thing UP”

F - Favorite song:  pretty much any song from this Glass Animals album

G - Ghosts, are they real: probably, ive had things happen that are pretty ghosty tbh

H - Hometown: shitty mcshit city full of factories and crime

I - In love with: my crush and sleeping and WoW

J - Jealous of: people who dont like get distracted easily and attractive people

K - Killed someone: i mean close but not quite

L - Last time you cried: hmm.. last friday i think?

M - Middle name: something gross and girly

N - Number of siblings: 1

O - One wish: for my friends to have a good life or having some cats, cats are good too

P - Person you last called/texted:  my mom

Q - Questions you’re always asked: “whats wrong with you?” “are you gay or something??” “why are you so LOUD?”

R - [x]

S - Song last sang: Under Pressure (specifically the happy feet one) bc i was helping pack the thespian props and my friends were up in the costume room and i was alone lmao (i dont like singing around people, i get made fun of for it a lot :c)

T - Time you woke up: 6:13 bc i woke up late and rushed to my bus stop lmao

U - Underwear color: white and pink lmao

V - Vacation destination: idk somewhere nice and probably city-ish bc i like cities and they have a lot of attractions (however mine does not >:c)

W - Worst habit:  when im anxious i tend to be a smartass and my attention wanders worse than it usually does. i also bounce my leg a lot of tap my fingers and often find myself tearing the skin off of the insides of my cheeks LMAo

X - X-rays you’ve had: none, surprisingly

Y - Your favorite food: potato wedges/the potato slices that my mom makes sometimes. also minty foods.

Z - Zodiac sign: Scorpio, yo

i taaaaag..... @joshwydboy anddddd lets say @eelvolution and @baetavius