#the fandom is so united against Fukuchi that attacking him is a get out of jail free card

[sword-dad-fukuzawa]

Alright, let's talk vampires.

I think the question currently on everyone's mind is "How the fuck did they get Chuuya?" He's one of those characters that seem borderline invincible. When has anyone ever really been able to touch him? Even Shibusawa's magic bullshit fog in Dead Apple couldn't affect Chuuya, so how did Fyodor manage it?

My current theory is that the clue is his clothes.

Akutagawa gets an outfit change in the Jouno gets hatrecimed chapter, sure, but that makes sense considering he was wandering around in a torn up shirt and the vampire epidemic was a stealth takeover. The chapter where the Black Lizard gets bitten basically shows the vampire MO: one member of a squad gets bitten by someone they trusted (Higuchi by Akutagawa) and then goes to infect the rest of their squad, who is taken by surprise. Absolutely no one expects a member of their elite assassination unit to be a vampire, obviously.

And it seems that the PM operates in squads, which presumably makes the communication between squads kinda...difficult. This is great for a black ops organization like the PM because it makes information warfare that much more difficult, and terrible if there's a stealth enemy taking out entire units at a time.

However, at some point, news of the outbreak is going to make its way up the chain of command. It only takes one guy making it to the phone.

But if you were Grandpa Warcrimes attempting to get rid of a powerful enemy, this is the opposite of what you want. What you want to do is take out the most powerful players first--infect the top of the chain of command, because they're the only ones with the knowledge, authority, and communication ability to fight back against the vampires. A Port Mafia redshirt can't quarantine squads or distribute the knowledge that there even is an outbreak, much less figure out a way to defend themselves without, you know, murdering their squadmate.

What you really want is to infect Mori, Chuuya, and Kouyou: the three executives (and any others that we haven't been shown yet). Kouyou's fate is currently unknown, so let's talk Mori first.

As of that chapter where he gets Tachihara to fight Fukuchi, he's fine and uninfected. I would absolutely speculate as to his plans and motives if he wasn't, you know, playing 5D chess at all times. But if I were Mori and my plan to have Tachihara stab Fukuchi failed, I would take my executives and hole up in a bunker somewhere--where I could presumably issue orders to what PM operatives were left. But I'm not sure what other moves this man has left. Pre-BSD98 I would have said he's looking to play the Chuuya card, but, well.

And that brings us to the fandom's favorite alcoholic. This motherfucker disappears for three years of BSD updates and shows up wearing an updated, less campy version of his Fifteen outfit, looking like he's caught Akutagawa's undead strain of rabies. Why isn't he wearing his fancy gangster outfit and how did the vampires get him?

My thought? Fukuchi got him first.

Before news of the vampire outbreak got to the upper brass, before anyone really knew that the vampires are a thing--hell, maybe even before Higuchi got infected. Chuuya is the PM's ace-in-the-hole, the one you want to take out of commission before launching a coordinated biological attack on the rest of the organization. Do you want your plan to succeed? Yes? Then you need Chuuya out of the way.

This handily answers the question of "sir where the fuck have you been," by the way. "Being a vampire" is a pretty good excuse.

He's not in his usual snazzy outfit. This suggests they took him out while he wasn't on duty. Maybe he was going home for the day, or it was a weekend and he was shopping for groceries. Maybe he was just clocking in and hadn't changed yet. We know Akutagawa doesn't wear his dramatic cravat-and-coat ensemble 24/7 and wears a tracksuit when he's not on the clock, so Chuuya having an updated version of his teenage outfit makes sense.

Of course, there's the possibility that Harukawa just wanted to change things up a little and I am, as per the usual, overanalyzing. But think about it--it's a stupid idea to try and bite Chuuya while he's on the job. First of all, you would need to know where he is, which probably changes daily. But if you stalked him for long enough, you would know what his usual hours are, and where he goes after work.

Secondly, he's going to be on edge while he's working. You do not want Chuuya "My Reflexes are Good Enough to Stop Bullets" Nakahara to be alert and aware when you're trying to get within neck-biting distance. He's going to have his guard down if he's in his civvies, walking home.

Thirdly, if you get him while he's off duty?

No witnesses.

And then you can take over the rest of the PM with your funky vampire soldiers in peace, bar Kouyou and Mori. And Kajii. Isn't it funny that we don't know what the lemon guy is doing?

TLDR, Chuuya was probably one of the first people to get infected and they got him while he was off duty.