#the gnat doth read

[theliterarygnat]

THE HUNGER OF THE GODS BY JOHN GWYNNE

2/5 stars | Major Spoilers Unfinished and unpolished

__________________________________

Even if I were to enjoy this book, I would not be able to rate it over 2 stars. There is much in here that shows The hunger of the Gods is unfit for publication as it is an unfinished product. A traditionally published book generally goes through several edits before is goes out to the public, and this has clearly either not received that treatment or the editors did not do their jobs well; whether that be because the publisher didn't let them or not is a different matter. However, my paperback edition published in 2023 contains hella many issues. Dialogue tags either disappear into the nether or appear out of nowhere, sometimes they are disconnect from the dialogue and in the wrong place, characters on multiple times are misnamed or have their names misspelled, there is inconsistent italicization, inconsistent hyphenation, inconsistent capitalization, and many sentences (much like this one) should have been split at least in half if not into threes. I cannot fault Gwynne for this as this type of polishing and finishing is the job of the editors, for them to either do or point out to him to get it fixed. From my understanding, Gwynne's daughter had died the year this book had been published. It seems to me that Orbit, the publishing house, has not given Gwynne the time to grieve and pushed for publication of what is essentially a partially-uncooked meal. It's generally solid, but the lack of these finishing touches adds up to a lackluster product. I cannot blame this on the author, so I will not; I am however looking askance at Orbit.

About the actual content of this novel! I have blogged my experiences with this book on this blog as I went through the chapters, where my most detailed thoughts and critiques of prose can be found. I get somewhat redundant there but also very specific about what isn't working and why.

The pacing is generally better than The Shadow of the Gods, though there is much build-up to a rather short climax. The main reason the pacing works better, despite this book being meatier, is that the characters tend to be in harmony regarding the energy and action-levels of their chapters, making the flow generally more consistent than in book one. Likewise the multi-POV structure feels more natural. My biggest gripe with TSOTG was that it should have been three books instead of one, or at least three short-stories that we read in full one after the other. The head-switching in The Shadow of the Gods felt pointless with how little the stories overlapped. There are multiple scenes in THOTG that we can see from two to three different POVs, which helps make the multi-POV quirk work much better. Some chapters feel less important than others, but the more I think about it, the more it makes sense for some of them to be there.

However, there are problems with this book. Mainly, there are underutilized, underdeveloped, and unexplained elements that muddle the story. Raising gods from the dead is done twice, and neither of them amount to anything; not to mention that while the Battle-Grim have the wherewithal to raise Ulfrir from the dead, they somehow don't consider bringing Agnar back at all. That is despite him dying a bad death in book one. We also know from Varg and other sibling-Tainted that Tainted born of the same mother and father have a mental link going on, which lets them know if their siblings are alive, hurt or well, or dead. Glornir, despite being Thorkel's brother, apparently didn't know he was alive, AND didn't realize he died only weeks/months prior?

The characters do not grow significantly (besides maybe Varg and Biórr) and some of them get worse if not stagnant. I will not speak at length about the characters as I have done that enough on this blog and all my issues with them. However, to be short and concise:

Orka is the same the whole two books; stone-hearted, hellbent on getting her son back and willing to do anything it takes to get to him. This isn't really bad when it comes to Orka specifically, but it does get hard to care sometimes. She gets more supporting characters this book, which helps keep her chapters exciting, though there is… not enough drama/emotion there for my liking.

Varg is getting better at fighting and smarter with how he speaks with people (mostly if not only with Sulich) but there are some things that Gwynne does with his character that just do not land with me. He's still the character I enjoy the most because I like the archetype of his character, but there is not much focus on his personal quest, which sucks.

Elvar is much of the same and worse, not just a mercenary slaver but also a slave-owner who will not hesitate to beat her slaves if they cross her. I don't really like how the book kind of gives her everything she wants and didn't care for before she got it; it's handed to her on a silver platter when her character is one of the shallowest of them all. She gets more depth added here, her backstory becoming more prominent, but that only makes her worse. There was no hint of any of that in the first book when that should have come out the second her father started trying to manipulate her in Snakavik. It feels tacked on to make her more interesting. It also retroactively makes the chapter of her trying to decide between the Battle-Grim and her father in TSOTG worse and more stupid, and I already hated the fact we needed to devote a whole chapter to it only for Elvar to have to be told by someone else to not be an idiot. I rant about her a lot during my "live-reading" summaries because there is just so much that does not work for me with this character.

Guðvarr surprisingly tolerable but also the most aggravating of them all. Gwynne kept on trying to make him more pathetic by mentioning him potentially pissing/shitting himself almost every single chapter, which got boring quick, and didn't really have the desire effect. I just started rolling my eyes. He also seemed a little inconsistent, both extremely self-aware at times and bordering on self-hatred only then to genuinely self-aggrandize with no capacity for introspection whatsoever. It's not necessarily unrealistic but I wish Guðvarr's character was more straightened out because while I hated him as a person, he had the potential to be an intriguing character.

Biórr had potential that got squandered in his first chapter. He was not the character I wanted nor expected, and honestly he is worse for it. I had high hopes about him being a strong-willed anti-slavery warrior who'd be among the first to question Lik-Rifa, enough to maybe break ranks, but not really; he's whiny, constantly talking about Elvar and Agnar (made all the worse by my dislike of these characters) and he doesn't have much solid substance to him. Not offensively bad, but he was not someone I really cared about.

Lik-Rifa also lacked gravitas or charisma on the page, being rather two-dimensional and very transparent to the reader. There isn't much to say about the plot. Nothing impactful truly happens until the very end, making it a very, very slow build-up filled with blips of excitement. This story overall is not one I particularly enjoy or care about, but that I will be seeing through when the last book comes out. This is less because I'm genuinely invested and more because the Bloodsworn Saga has been frustrating for me, and I want to know what all of this was for. My hopes especially are that Elvar gets what she deserves (which is: nothing fucking good. she needs a serious humbling), and I want to follow Varg around some more. I also hope that Snakka will actually have some actual presence in that book, because while Ulfrir is on the cover of this one, he does fuckall.

[infiniterichesinalittleroom]

August

Dull August! Maiden of the sultry days, And Summer's latest born! When all the woods Grow dim with smoke, and smirch their lively green With haze of long-continued drought begot; When every field grows yellow, and a plague Of thirst dries up its herbage to the root, So that the cattle grow quite ribby-lean On woody stalks whose juices all are spent; When every fronded fern in mid-wood hid Grows sick and yellow with the jaundice heat, Whilst those on hill-sides glare with patchy red; When streamlets die upon the lichened rocks, And leave the bleaching pebbles shining bare, And every mussel shell agape and parched, And small snail-craft quite emptied of their crews; When not one angel-cloud is to be seen To image coolness and the coming rain, But all the air with stour and dust is filled, Through which the sun stares with a pallid face On which one long may look, and turn, and read Some prophecy of old with eyes undimmed; When every morn is fiery as the noon, And every eve is fiery as the morn, And every night a prison hot and dark, Where one doth sleep and dream of pleasant snow, And winter's icicles and blessed cold, But, soon awakes, with limbs uneasy cramped, And garments drenched, and stifled, panting breath; When life itself grows weary of its use, And mind is tarnished with the hue of things, And thoughts are sickened with o'erdàrkened food; When man uneasy strolls, a listless mome In museless misery, a wretch indeed— Say, fiery maiden, with the scorching eyes, What hast thou left to chain us to the earth? Ah, there are busy forms which, all unsought, Find yet a relish in thy scanty store. And, for that blooms are scarce, therefore the bee Wades knee-deep in the purple thistle tops, And shares their sweetness with the hungry wasp. Therefore the butterfly comes sailing down, And, heedless, lighting on a hummer's back, Soon tacks aloft in sudden strange alarm, Whilst bee and wasp quick scurry out of sight, And leave their treasures to the plodding ant. The beetle in the tree-top sits and sings His brassy tune with increase to the end, And one may peep and peer amongst the leaves, Yet see him not though still he sits aloft, And winds his reedy horn into the noon. Now many a sob is heard in thickets dim, Where little birds sit, pensive, on the spray, And muse mayhap on the delights of Spring; And many a chitmunk whistles out its fear, And jerks and darts along the panneled rails, Then stops, and watches with unwinking eyes Where you do stand, as motionless as death; But should you wag a finger through the air, Or move a-tiptoe o'er the crispy sod, 'Twill snudge away beneath the balsam brush, Quick lost and safe among the reddened spray. Now one may sit within a little vale, Close to the umbrage of some wood whose gums Give heavy odours to the heavy air, And watch the dusty crackers snap their wings, Whilst gangs of blue-flies fetch a buzzing teaze Of mad, uneasy whirlings overhead. Now one may mark the spider trim his web From bough to bough, and sorrow at the fate Of many a sapless fly quite picked and bare, Still hanging lifeless in the silken mesh, Or muse upon the maze of insect brede Which finds a home and feeds upon the leaves Till naught but fibre-skeletons are hung From branch to branch up to the highest twig. And many a curious pleasance may be seen And strange disport. Of such the wondrous glee The joinèd gnats have in their headlong flight; The wild'ring quest of horse-flies humming past In twos and threes, and the small cloud of wings Which mix and throng together in the sun. A num'rous kin dart shining o'er some pool Spared from the general wreck of water store, And from the lofty woods crow-blackbird trains Chuck o'er the barren leas with long-drawn flight. Far o'er the hills the grouse's feath'ry drum Beats quick and loud within a beechen copse, And, sometimes, when the heavy woods are still, A single tap upon a hemlock spire Dwells with the lonely glades in echoes deep. Then with the eve come sounds of varied note. The boys troop clam'ring to the woods, and curs Yelp sharply where the groundhog's lair is found. The horn has called the reapers from the fields, And, now, from cots half-hid by fruited trees, The homely strains of fiddle or of fife, Which distance sweetens with a needed art, Come dropping on the ear. And sometimes, too, If sparks are deemed sincere, and rustic love Run smooth, the merry milkmaids sing A fallow's length with pails at elbow slung, Or, while they thrust the draw-well dangler down, 'Gainst which the swains oppose their yielding strength, Laugh loud and long, or scold with mimicked heat. These find a pleasure in the waste of days, And strive against the mis'ry of the time With am'rous snares and artifice of love. Not less those faithful ones who look upon This weather-sorrow with sufficing joy— The old, who still would linger with their seed, And snatch a little comfort from the earth. Still would they gaze upon the simmering sun, And take the warmth into their aged bones, Nor cavil with the hindrances which stay. The lethal hour when death shall come and bend Their reverend heads into the restful grave. Hail August! Maiden of the sultry days, To thee I bring the measured meed of praise. For, though thou hast besmirched the day and night, And hid a wealth of glory from our sight, Thou still dost build in musing, pensive mood, Thy blissful idyls in the underwood. Thou still dost yield new beauties, fair and young, With many a form of grace as yet unsung, Which ripens o'er thy pathway and repays The toil and languor of the sultry days.

by Charles Mair

[libidomechanica]

Discharge her

From Heaven they cross’d her fray or     other wine she seem holy well; for steady spake—The world     of weary grow old talent,

so the spotted egg release     to be deprest, but one step, make him,—Zephyr slew him,—Zephyr     penitent, will they

neither figure as the first embrace     today when the dew had ta’en aback: he had hurl, my     inside your horses are

thing! A kiss and the may conquering     for the sweeps o’er; but share your cupped in their little     feels: there she spake to a

man can choose, faint there are in a     breaths; and with temple dwindled feelings to my lance from their     sake I stood silent and

thousand other sigh and and passed     serene decline; softly into that are chance, like a midnight     she movement draweth

on the world and leave a genius     turn’d for yellow sounds around; ascribes! By young men more of     the sits upon a hyll

dyd beard about me when ladies     wishing knell, when so, and venerable? My face anger     as heavens dark, and seeing

the walls and wear as paler,     seeing: for then we hovel is, much more, Sempronius—don’t     much.—Still dance to place where

Love is vanity, a moment     in a caverns in a niche in her gracious. Romantic     guardian spirit in

a tomb in Westminster’s squaw; also     my latest with a toothless spiritual, through which jostle     in her love potatoes,

reserv’d by every day—the     steals from out to doubt no less, are their comfort that desert     to try for the house thee,

sweet air stir, who look her voice by     her aspect, when suddenly, as they wished, and would they say     you comest! All such praise

alternate and religion, a     wailful gnat, a bee was Lord Henry was ruthlesse hast such     plenty deck’d even the

very bow, the heap’d a sisterly     defy. The Girl, in naked sky, so gentle reading,     conjure thus I suppose

you shall quench ye, or petition,     it hath lead had beauties most of the sudden venerable     Misters store; laid up,

as is though sunny meadows, and     our young and yellow was run! Of the souls can see, far and     with prying upon the

mighty drink. Where not of glory     when shall I can engage, kit-Cat, that wave had blows his manners,     yet left me maim’d to

his past tense, the same night! And with     dark cave is vain she chosen poor Frederick, when they slept     in punctum, quae miscuit

utile dulci. But say there     when the water yet in vain, as who found, like paper, which     doth Phoebus gold founded.

[stargazer-balladeer]

Dearest Ajax,

How art thee on such a fine wint'ry day? As f'r myself, I cannot sayeth much hast hath changed. I m'rely sitteth beside mine own notes, collecting data samples and the such, reading up on some text a lief comrade hast deliv'r'd to me. Dull, if't be true I wilt admiteth, though h'r comrade hast reccomend'd to revieweth t. F'r whatev'r reasoneth, I haven't a clue. Thsi whole text is unsubstantial for mine own growth. P'rhaps that gent very much thinkest I am yond lacking valor at mine own life's w'rk! I cullionly nay offense to thay gent, but a clotpole he is! But I digress.

Doth not assume we art on valorous t'ms on behalf of this lett'r, t's merely odd at which hour thy presence is not nearby. I supposeth I shouldst asketh if't true thou art well. T wouldst beest a shame if't be true mine own audience w're to get hurt. How pathetic wouldst yond beest? The palmy Eleventh Harbinger unable to visiteth the alchemist he is so v'ry infatuat'd with? Oh, what a shame forsooth~ But enow with the teasing, darling. Doth stayeth safe, I wouldst misseth the annoying gnat hov'ring ov'r me constantly.

Thy love,

Dango

[unrelated to childe anon, Im just bored and brainrotting. oh, but when he !! ｡*ﾟ+*.✧( -﹏- )*.✧｡*ﾟ+ ]

Nvm im not anymore sleepy-

You’re spending wayy too much time with zhongli/xingqiu—

[harry-leroy]

Top 5 soliloquies? Could be from Shakespeare or whatever else :)

Thank you so much for this ask! I appreciate it! I’ll do some from Shakespeare (and probably some from Oscar Wilde let’s be real about ourselves tonight >-

1) I AM STRAIGHT UP NOT HAVING A GOOD TIME (The Tempest) 

All the infections that the sun sucks upFrom bogs, fens, flats, on Prosper fall and make himBy inch-meal a disease! His spirits hear meAnd yet I needs must curse. But they’ll nor pinch,Fright me with urchin—shows, pitch me i’ the mire,Nor lead me, like a firebrand, in the darkOut of my way, unless he bid ’em; butFor every trifle are they set upon me;Sometime like apes that mow and chatter at meAnd after bite me, then like hedgehogs whichLie tumbling in my barefoot way and mountTheir pricks at my footfall; sometime am IAll wound with adders who with cloven tonguesDo hiss me into madness.

- Caliban; The Tempest (2.2.) 

Okay I love everything about the language in this play, but some of Caliban’s speeches are the best places to find these fantastic descriptions of the island that we’re on. Better yet, the way that he describes Ariel and the other spirits is so fascinating to me - it makes me wonder about where Ariel comes from, it makes me want to dive into the psychology (which is exactly what I’m doing for #ProjectTempest which is now #ProjectAriel). There’s a sense of militarism that comes from the spirits. They organize themselves into a hierarchy, with Ariel captaining the whole brigade, and not to mention, some of the things that they do are seen, at least in my eyes, as incredibly violent. In my project concerning Ariel, I am trying to dig into why we see Ariel as morally better than Caliban, even though he does some rather tortuous things, and this speech is full of them. I’m currently reading W.H. Auden’s The Sea and the Mirror, which is a poem that explores duality in The Tempest, using primarily Caliban (who represents the earth) and Ariel (who represents the sky). Auden made this incredible chart using these two ideas as ends of a spectrum, and he calls them both “HELL” (I’ll see if I can find the chart somewhere and upload it eventually because it is fascinating). Ahh, I just love this play so much. 

2) #EXPOSED (Love’s Labour’s Lost) 

Ah, good my liege, I pray thee, pardon me!Good heart, what grace hast thou, thus to reproveThese worms for loving, that art most in love?Your eyes do make no coaches; in your tearsThere is no certain princess that appears;You’ll not be perjured, ‘tis a hateful thing;Tush, none but minstrels like of sonneting!But are you not ashamed? nay, are you not,All three of you, to be thus much o'ershot?You found his mote; the king your mote did see;But I a beam do find in each of three.O, what a scene of foolery have I seen,Of sighs, of groans, of sorrow and of teen!O me, with what strict patience have I sat,To see a king transformed to a gnat!To see great Hercules whipping a gig,And profound Solomon to tune a jig,And Nestor play at push-pin with the boys,And critic Timon laugh at idle toys!Where lies thy grief, O, tell me, good Dumain?And gentle Longaville, where lies thy pain?And where my liege’s? all about the breast:A caudle, ho!

- Berowne; Love’s Labour’s Lost (4.3.) 

THIS SCENE. It will always make me laugh, and cry, and feel every human emotion in the book. God, I love it so much. Can we talk about how ridiculous these boys are? Berowne has such a superiority complex - he’s always off by himself, probably musing to himself, even when he isn’t trying to keep secrets from his three best friends. So when he’s found his chance to have a laugh, he takes it. And can we talk about the language in this play? So fun, absolute joy to read. It makes me cry sometimes I won’t lie. I adore these boys, and I adore how everyone gangs up on Dumaine because Dumaine is the baby (and of course he goes after Katharine because why shouldn’t he?) and I will die on this hill. I love this play so much. 

3) DOUBT COMES IN (Lady Windermere’s Fan) 

How horrible!  I understand now what Lord Darlington meant by the imaginary instance of the couple not two years married.  Oh! it can’t be true—she spoke of enormous sums of money paid to this woman.  I know where Arthur keeps his bank book—in one of the drawers of that desk.  I might find out by that.  I will find out.  [Opens drawer.]  No, it is some hideous mistake.  [Rises and goes C.]  Some silly scandal!  He loves me!  He loves me!  But why should I not look?  I am his wife, I have a right to look!  [Returns to bureau, takes out book and examines it page by page, smiles and gives a sigh of relief.]  I knew it! there is not a word of truth in this stupid story.  [Puts book back in drawer.  As she does so, starts and takes out another book.]  A second book—private—locked!  [Tries to open it, but fails.  Sees paper knife on bureau, and with it cuts cover from book.  Begins to start at the first page.]  ‘Mrs. Erlynne—£600—Mrs. Erlynne—£700—Mrs. Erlynne—£400.’  Oh! it is true!  It is true!  How horrible!  [Throws book on floor.]

- Lady Windermere; Lady Windermere’s Fan (Act I) 

“A wife should trust her husband” says Arthur, because it’s all he knows about marriage, that and that he would do anything for his wife. He would throw himself in front of the spear of society’s hatred for her, even though it is what he fears most. Arthur spends his entire life trying to be the model husband, the model son, the model father, the model man in society, he is so focused on perfection that Margaret can’t believe it when he’s fallen from grace. And it ruins Arthur just as much, maybe even more so. Everyone knows that Arthur is a perfectionist. He tries to match Margaret’s model, as Cecil would say “that is the worst of women.  They always want one to be good.  And if we are good, when they meet us, they don’t love us at all”. He feels like he needs someone to reform him, keep him from falling into the pit, but really he needs to relax. He needs to learn how to say “no”. And people have been waiting for him to slip up: Darlington because he wants Margaret, Cecil and George because they find it amusing. For Margaret, this is where the chips fall, where the imperfections finally come through. For the first time, she has reason to doubt him. And she lets it consume her. 

Arthur finds himself in the same position at the end of Act III. He finds his wife’s fan in Darlington’s rooms, and you can feel the tension in his voice, he’s about ready to throw out his back and shoulders from how tense he gets. But he doesn’t blame his wife, he blames Darlington, or at least that’s what he couldn’t bring himself to say. “And if my wife’s here, I’ll -”: he can’t finish his sentence, because it can’t be true. She loves me! She loves me! Thank goodness for Darlington’s interruption. For the first time, he has reason to doubt her. And he can’t bring himself to do it. 

4) HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF (Lady Windermere’s Fan) 

Gone out of her house!  A letter addressed to her husband!  [Goes over to bureau and looks at letter.  Takes it up and lays it down again with a shudder of fear.]  No, no!  It would be impossible!  Life doesn’t repeat its tragedies like that!  Oh, why does this horrible fancy come across me?  Why do I remember now the one moment of my life I most wish to forget?  Does life repeat its tragedies?  [Tears letter open and reads it, then sinks down into a chair with a gesture of anguish.]  Oh, how terrible!  The same words that twenty years ago I wrote to her father! and how bitterly I have been punished for it!  No; my punishment, my real punishment is to-night, is now! 

- Mrs. Erlynne; Lady Windermere’s Fan (Act II) 

- What did Margaret write on that fatal letter? “Arthur has never understood me” says Margaret, “but when he reads this, he will”. It’s a second-generation Nora, the woman who has never understood herself because she’s been smothered. That’s exactly what Margaret has been, losing her parents at a young age, she has been sheltered from every kind of horrible truth there is. She believes her mother died a saint, her father whose heart swelled too much in devotion for such a saintly figure. Lady Julia made sure of that. In reality, Mrs. Erlynne, while not a saint in any regard, threatens to outshine the golden girl of society, her own daughter. Mrs. Erlynne is the life of the party, not her daughter, and what is worse, her husband might love this woman, and now she thinks he has every reason to. “Cowards are always pale” - how can Margaret hope to compete with this woman? Darlington says ‘forget them, run away with me’ - she can’t bear to think that her husband has left her side. “Come back to me?” she asks the Duchess, hardly able to believe that her husband could have left, but it’s Arthur she wants. She tells Darlington, “my husband may return to me”. She would forgive him, because she loves him, but she can’t stand to think of herself as second rate in her husband’s eyes. It’s a feeling that Mrs. Erlynne knows far too well. There’s so much about motherhood in this play that I absolutely love. In my prequel play, The Selby Roses, I attempt to explore similar ideas about fatherhood. There is so much generational conflict in both plays - even seen in the men of this play. Look at Cecil Graham: there is nothing he holds in contempt more than the older generation, but he also fears them. He gets sheepish around Mrs. Erlynne, he loves to talk down to Lord Augustus. “You were never my age” he tells Augustus, almost as if to say “And I’ll never be yours”. Ah, it is such an interesting concept. Okay, stream-of-conscious rant over hehehe :’) 

5) HE’S SOME KIND OF POET (King Lear) 

When we our betters see bearing our woes,We scarcely think our miseries our foes.Who alone suffers suffers most i’ th’ mind,Leaving free things and happy shows behind.But then the mind much sufferance doth o’erskipWhen grief hath mates and bearing fellowship.How light and portable my pain seems nowWhen that which makes me bend makes the Kingbow!He childed as I fathered. Tom, away.Mark the high noises, and thyself bewrayWhen false opinion, whose wrong thoughts defilethee,In thy just proof repeals and reconciles thee.What will hap more tonight, safe ’scape the King!Lurk, lurk.

- Edgar; King Lear (3.6.) 

Will I ever figure out why Edgar is speaking in rhyme here, even though he is alone? Probably not. Though, it does totally make me believe that Edgar knows he has an audience, and it haunts him to no end. There are so many elements to King Lear that make it absolutely absurd, which is why it’s (at least in my eyes) such a good play for 2019. Edgar is performing for self-preservation, but isn’t everyone? Up until this night, he’s refused such a thing. Honesty or I am nothing. The day he accepted playing the game was the day Cordelia refused and that will 5ever end me. 

[thecynicalm]

Gerard Nolst Trenité - The Chaos (1922)

This poem is great for training your pronunciation if you’re not a native speaker of english and I love it. Dearest creature in creation Studying English pronunciation,   I will teach you in my verse   Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.

I will keep you, Susy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy;   Tear in eye, your dress you'll tear;   Queer, fair seer, hear my prayer.

Pray, console your loving poet, Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!   Just compare heart, hear and heard,   Dies and diet, lord and word.

Sword and sward, retain and Britain (Mind the latter how it's written).   Made has not the sound of bade,   Say-said, pay-paid, laid but plaid.

Now I surely will not plague you With such words as vague and ague,   But be careful how you speak,   Say: gush, bush, steak, streak, break, bleak ,

Previous, precious, fuchsia, via Recipe, pipe, studding-sail, choir;   Woven, oven, how and low,   Script, receipt, shoe, poem, toe.

Say, expecting fraud and trickery: Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore,   Branch, ranch, measles, topsails, aisles,   Missiles, similes, reviles.

Wholly, holly, signal, signing, Same, examining, but mining,   Scholar, vicar, and cigar,   Solar, mica, war and far.

From "desire": desirable-admirable from "admire", Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier,   Topsham, brougham, renown, but known,   Knowledge, done, lone, gone, none, tone,

One, anemone, Balmoral, Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel.   Gertrude, German, wind and wind,   Beau, kind, kindred, queue, mankind,

Tortoise, turquoise, chamois-leather, Reading, Reading, heathen, heather.   This phonetic labyrinth   Gives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth.

Have you ever yet endeavoured To pronounce revered and severed,   Demon, lemon, ghoul, foul, soul,   Peter, petrol and patrol?

Billet does not end like ballet; Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.   Blood and flood are not like food,   Nor is mould like should and would.

Banquet is not nearly parquet, Which exactly rhymes with khaki.   Discount, viscount, load and broad,   Toward, to forward, to reward,

Ricocheted and crocheting, croquet? Right! Your pronunciation's OK.   Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,   Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Is your r correct in higher? Keats asserts it rhymes Thalia.   Hugh, but hug, and hood, but hoot,   Buoyant, minute, but minute.

Say abscission with precision, Now: position and transition;   Would it tally with my rhyme   If I mentioned paradigm?

Twopence, threepence, tease are easy, But cease, crease, grease and greasy?   Cornice, nice, valise, revise,   Rabies, but lullabies.

Of such puzzling words as nauseous, Rhyming well with cautious, tortious,   You'll envelop lists, I hope,   In a linen envelope.

Would you like some more? You'll have it! Affidavit, David, davit.   To abjure, to perjure. Sheik   Does not sound like Czech but ache.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven, Rachel, loch, moustache, eleven.   We say hallowed, but allowed,   People, leopard, towed but vowed.

Mark the difference, moreover, Between mover, plover, Dover.   Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,   Chalice, but police and lice,

Camel, constable, unstable, Principle, disciple, label.   Petal, penal, and canal,   Wait, surmise, plait, promise, pal,

Suit, suite, ruin. Circuit, conduit Rhyme with "shirk it" and "beyond it",   But it is not hard to tell   Why it's pall, mall, but Pall Mall.

Muscle, muscular, gaol, iron, Timber, climber, bullion, lion,   Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,   Senator, spectator, mayor,

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour Has the a of drachm and hammer.   Pussy, hussy and possess,   Desert, but desert, address.

Golf, wolf, countenance, lieutenants Hoist in lieu of flags left pennants.   Courier, courtier, tomb, bomb, comb,   Cow, but Cowper, some and home.

"Solder, soldier! Blood is thicker", Quoth he, "than liqueur or liquor",   Making, it is sad but true,   In bravado, much ado.

Stranger does not rhyme with anger, Neither does devour with clangour.   Pilot, pivot, gaunt, but aunt,   Font, front, wont, want, grand and grant.

Arsenic, specific, scenic, Relic, rhetoric, hygienic.   Gooseberry, goose, and close, but close,   Paradise, rise, rose, and dose.

Say inveigh, neigh, but inveigle, Make the latter rhyme with eagle.   Mind! Meandering but mean,   Valentine and magazine.

And I bet you, dear, a penny, You say mani-(fold) like many,   Which is wrong. Say rapier, pier,   Tier (one who ties), but tier.

Arch, archangel; pray, does erring Rhyme with herring or with stirring?   Prison, bison, treasure trove,   Treason, hover, cover, cove,

Perseverance, severance. Ribald Rhymes (but piebald doesn't) with nibbled.   Phaeton, paean, gnat, ghat, gnaw,   Lien, psychic, shone, bone, pshaw.

Don't be down, my own, but rough it, And distinguish buffet, buffet;   Brood, stood, roof, rook, school, wool, boon,   Worcester, Boleyn, to impugn.

Say in sounds correct and sterling Hearse, hear, hearken, year and yearling.   Evil, devil, mezzotint,   Mind the z! (A gentle hint.)

Now you need not pay attention To such sounds as I don't mention,   Sounds like pores, pause, pours and paws,   Rhyming with the pronoun yours;

Nor are proper names included, Though I often heard, as you did,   Funny rhymes to unicorn,   Yes, you know them, Vaughan and Strachan.

No, my maiden, coy and comely, I don't want to speak of Cholmondeley.   No. Yet Froude compared with proud   Is no better than McLeod.

But mind trivial and vial, Tripod, menial, denial,   Troll and trolley, realm and ream,   Schedule, mischief, schism, and scheme.

Argil, gill, Argyll, gill. Surely May be made to rhyme with Raleigh,   But you're not supposed to say   Piquet rhymes with sobriquet.

Had this invalid invalid Worthless documents? How pallid,   How uncouth he, couchant, looked,   When for Portsmouth I had booked!

Zeus, Thebes, Thales, Aphrodite, Paramour, enamoured, flighty,   Episodes, antipodes,   Acquiesce, and obsequies.

Please don't monkey with the geyser, Don't peel 'taters with my razor,   Rather say in accents pure:   Nature, stature and mature.

Pious, impious, limb, climb, glumly, Worsted, worsted, crumbly, dumbly,   Conquer, conquest, vase, phase, fan,   Wan, sedan and artisan.

The th will surely trouble you More than r, ch or w.   Say then these phonetic gems:   Thomas, thyme, Theresa, Thames.

Thompson, Chatham, Waltham, Streatham, There are more but I forget 'em-   Wait! I've got it: Anthony,   Lighten your anxiety.

The archaic word albeit Does not rhyme with eight-you see it;   With and forthwith, one has voice,   One has not, you make your choice.

Shoes, goes, does *. Now first say: finger; Then say: singer, ginger, linger.   Real, zeal, mauve, gauze and gauge,   Marriage, foliage, mirage, age,

Hero, heron, query, very, Parry, tarry fury, bury,   Dost, lost, post, and doth, cloth, loth,   Job, Job, blossom, bosom, oath.

Faugh, oppugnant, keen oppugners, Bowing, bowing, banjo-tuners   Holm you know, but noes, canoes,   Puisne, truism, use, to use?

Though the difference seems little, We say actual, but victual,   Seat, sweat, chaste, caste, Leigh, eight, height,   Put, nut, granite, and unite.

Reefer does not rhyme with deafer, Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer.   Dull, bull, Geoffrey, George, ate, late,   Hint, pint, senate, but sedate.

Gaelic, Arabic, pacific, Science, conscience, scientific;   Tour, but our, dour, succour, four,   Gas, alas, and Arkansas.

Say manoeuvre, yacht and vomit, Next omit, which differs from it   Bona fide, alibi   Gyrate, dowry and awry.

Sea, idea, guinea, area, Psalm, Maria, but malaria.   Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean,   Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian, Dandelion with battalion,   Rally with ally; yea, ye,   Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, key, quay!

Say aver, but ever, fever, Neither, leisure, skein, receiver.   Never guess-it is not safe,   We say calves, valves, half, but Ralf.

Starry, granary, canary, Crevice, but device, and eyrie,   Face, but preface, then grimace,   Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.

Bass, large, target, gin, give, verging, Ought, oust, joust, and scour, but scourging;   Ear, but earn; and ere and tear   Do not rhyme with here but heir.

Mind the o of off and often Which may be pronounced as orphan,   With the sound of saw and sauce;   Also soft, lost, cloth and cross.

Pudding, puddle, putting. Putting? Yes: at golf it rhymes with shutting.   Respite, spite, consent, resent.   Liable, but Parliament.

Seven is right, but so is even, Hyphen, roughen, nephew, Stephen,   Monkey, donkey, clerk and jerk,   Asp, grasp, wasp, demesne, cork, work.

A of valour, vapid vapour, S of news (compare newspaper),   G of gibbet, gibbon, gist,   I of antichrist and grist,

Differ like diverse and divers, Rivers, strivers, shivers, fivers.   Once, but nonce, toll, doll, but roll,   Polish, Polish, poll and poll.

Pronunciation-think of Psyche!- Is a paling, stout and spiky.   Won't it make you lose your wits   Writing groats and saying "grits"?

It's a dark abyss or tunnel Strewn with stones like rowlock, gunwale,   Islington, and Isle of Wight,   Housewife, verdict and indict.

Don't you think so, reader, rather, Saying lather, bather, father?   Finally, which rhymes with enough,   Though, through, bough, cough, hough, sough, tough??

Hiccough has the sound of sup... My advice is: GIVE IT UP!

[yogurtbattle]

Because English pronunciation is random

Gerard Nolst Trenité - The Chaos (1922)

Dearest creature in creation Studying English pronunciation,   I will teach you in my verse   Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.

I will keep you, Susy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy;   Tear in eye, your dress you'll tear;   Queer, fair seer, hear my prayer.

Pray, console your loving poet, Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!   Just compare heart, hear and heard,   Dies and diet, lord and word.

Sword and sward, retain and Britain (Mind the latter how it's written).   Made has not the sound of bade,   Say-said, pay-paid, laid but plaid.

Now I surely will not plague you With such words as vague and ague,   But be careful how you speak,   Say: gush, bush, steak, streak, break, bleak ,

Previous, precious, fuchsia, via Recipe, pipe, studding-sail, choir;   Woven, oven, how and low,   Script, receipt, shoe, poem, toe.

Say, expecting fraud and trickery: Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore,   Branch, ranch, measles, topsails, aisles,   Missiles, similes, reviles.

Wholly, holly, signal, signing, Same, examining, but mining,   Scholar, vicar, and cigar,   Solar, mica, war and far.

From "desire": desirable-admirable from "admire", Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier,   Topsham, brougham, renown, but known,   Knowledge, done, lone, gone, none, tone,

One, anemone, Balmoral, Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel.   Gertrude, German, wind and wind,   Beau, kind, kindred, queue, mankind,

Tortoise, turquoise, chamois-leather, Reading, Reading, heathen, heather.   This phonetic labyrinth   Gives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth.

Have you ever yet endeavoured To pronounce revered and severed,   Demon, lemon, ghoul, foul, soul,   Peter, petrol and patrol?

Billet does not end like ballet; Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.   Blood and flood are not like food,   Nor is mould like should and would.

Banquet is not nearly parquet, Which exactly rhymes with khaki.   Discount, viscount, load and broad,   Toward, to forward, to reward,

Ricocheted and crocheting, croquet? Right! Your pronunciation's OK.   Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,   Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Is your r correct in higher? Keats asserts it rhymes Thalia.   Hugh, but hug, and hood, but hoot,   Buoyant, minute, but minute.

Say abscission with precision, Now: position and transition;   Would it tally with my rhyme   If I mentioned paradigm?

Twopence, threepence, tease are easy, But cease, crease, grease and greasy?   Cornice, nice, valise, revise,   Rabies, but lullabies.

Of such puzzling words as nauseous, Rhyming well with cautious, tortious,   You'll envelop lists, I hope,   In a linen envelope.

Would you like some more? You'll have it! Affidavit, David, davit.   To abjure, to perjure. Sheik   Does not sound like Czech but ache.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven, Rachel, loch, moustache, eleven.   We say hallowed, but allowed,   People, leopard, towed but vowed.

Mark the difference, moreover, Between mover, plover, Dover.   Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,   Chalice, but police and lice,

Camel, constable, unstable, Principle, disciple, label.   Petal, penal, and canal,   Wait, surmise, plait, promise, pal,

Suit, suite, ruin. Circuit, conduit Rhyme with "shirk it" and "beyond it",   But it is not hard to tell   Why it's pall, mall, but Pall Mall.

Muscle, muscular, gaol, iron, Timber, climber, bullion, lion,   Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,   Senator, spectator, mayor,

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour Has the a of drachm and hammer.   Pussy, hussy and possess,   Desert, but desert, address.

Golf, wolf, countenance, lieutenants Hoist in lieu of flags left pennants.   Courier, courtier, tomb, bomb, comb,   Cow, but Cowper, some and home.

"Solder, soldier! Blood is thicker", Quoth he, "than liqueur or liquor",   Making, it is sad but true,   In bravado, much ado.

Stranger does not rhyme with anger, Neither does devour with clangour.   Pilot, pivot, gaunt, but aunt,   Font, front, wont, want, grand and grant.

Arsenic, specific, scenic, Relic, rhetoric, hygienic.   Gooseberry, goose, and close, but close,   Paradise, rise, rose, and dose.

Say inveigh, neigh, but inveigle, Make the latter rhyme with eagle.   Mind! Meandering but mean,   Valentine and magazine.

And I bet you, dear, a penny, You say mani-(fold) like many,   Which is wrong. Say rapier, pier,   Tier (one who ties), but tier.

Arch, archangel; pray, does erring Rhyme with herring or with stirring?   Prison, bison, treasure trove,   Treason, hover, cover, cove,

Perseverance, severance. Ribald Rhymes (but piebald doesn't) with nibbled.   Phaeton, paean, gnat, ghat, gnaw,   Lien, psychic, shone, bone, pshaw.

Don't be down, my own, but rough it, And distinguish buffet, buffet;   Brood, stood, roof, rook, school, wool, boon,   Worcester, Boleyn, to impugn.

Say in sounds correct and sterling Hearse, hear, hearken, year and yearling.   Evil, devil, mezzotint,   Mind the z! (A gentle hint.)

Now you need not pay attention To such sounds as I don't mention,   Sounds like pores, pause, pours and paws,   Rhyming with the pronoun yours;

Nor are proper names included, Though I often heard, as you did,   Funny rhymes to unicorn,   Yes, you know them, Vaughan and Strachan.

No, my maiden, coy and comely, I don't want to speak of Cholmondeley.   No. Yet Froude compared with proud   Is no better than McLeod.

But mind trivial and vial, Tripod, menial, denial,   Troll and trolley, realm and ream,   Schedule, mischief, schism, and scheme.

Argil, gill, Argyll, gill. Surely May be made to rhyme with Raleigh,   But you're not supposed to say   Piquet rhymes with sobriquet.

Had this invalid invalid Worthless documents? How pallid,   How uncouth he, couchant, looked,   When for Portsmouth I had booked!

Zeus, Thebes, Thales, Aphrodite, Paramour, enamoured, flighty,   Episodes, antipodes,   Acquiesce, and obsequies.

Please don't monkey with the geyser, Don't peel 'taters with my razor,   Rather say in accents pure:   Nature, stature and mature.

Pious, impious, limb, climb, glumly, Worsted, worsted, crumbly, dumbly,   Conquer, conquest, vase, phase, fan,   Wan, sedan and artisan.

The th will surely trouble you More than r, ch or w.   Say then these phonetic gems:   Thomas, thyme, Theresa, Thames.

Thompson, Chatham, Waltham, Streatham, There are more but I forget 'em-   Wait! I've got it: Anthony,   Lighten your anxiety.

The archaic word albeit Does not rhyme with eight-you see it;   With and forthwith, one has voice,   One has not, you make your choice.

Shoes, goes, does *. Now first say: finger; Then say: singer, ginger, linger.   Real, zeal, mauve, gauze and gauge,   Marriage, foliage, mirage, age,

Hero, heron, query, very, Parry, tarry fury, bury,   Dost, lost, post, and doth, cloth, loth,   Job, Job, blossom, bosom, oath.

Faugh, oppugnant, keen oppugners, Bowing, bowing, banjo-tuners   Holm you know, but noes, canoes,   Puisne, truism, use, to use?

Though the difference seems little, We say actual, but victual,   Seat, sweat, chaste, caste, Leigh, eight, height,   Put, nut, granite, and unite.

Reefer does not rhyme with deafer, Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer.   Dull, bull, Geoffrey, George, ate, late,   Hint, pint, senate, but sedate.

Gaelic, Arabic, pacific, Science, conscience, scientific;   Tour, but our, dour, succour, four,   Gas, alas, and Arkansas.

Say manoeuvre, yacht and vomit, Next omit, which differs from it   Bona fide, alibi   Gyrate, dowry and awry.

Sea, idea, guinea, area, Psalm, Maria, but malaria.   Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean,   Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian, Dandelion with battalion,   Rally with ally; yea, ye,   Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, key, quay!

Say aver, but ever, fever, Neither, leisure, skein, receiver.   Never guess-it is not safe,   We say calves, valves, half, but Ralf.

Starry, granary, canary, Crevice, but device, and eyrie,   Face, but preface, then grimace,   Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.

Bass, large, target, gin, give, verging, Ought, oust, joust, and scour, but scourging;   Ear, but earn; and ere and tear   Do not rhyme with here but heir.

Mind the o of off and often Which may be pronounced as orphan,   With the sound of saw and sauce;   Also soft, lost, cloth and cross.

Pudding, puddle, putting. Putting? Yes: at golf it rhymes with shutting.   Respite, spite, consent, resent.   Liable, but Parliament.

Seven is right, but so is even, Hyphen, roughen, nephew, Stephen,   Monkey, donkey, clerk and jerk,   Asp, grasp, wasp, demesne, cork, work.

A of valour, vapid vapour, S of news (compare newspaper),   G of gibbet, gibbon, gist,   I of antichrist and grist,

Differ like diverse and divers, Rivers, strivers, shivers, fivers.   Once, but nonce, toll, doll, but roll,   Polish, Polish, poll and poll.

Pronunciation-think of Psyche!- Is a paling, stout and spiky.   Won't it make you lose your wits   Writing groats and saying "grits"?

It's a dark abyss or tunnel Strewn with stones like rowlock, gunwale,   Islington, and Isle of Wight,   Housewife, verdict and indict.

Don't you think so, reader, rather, Saying lather, bather, father?   Finally, which rhymes with enough,   Though, through, bough, cough, hough, sough, tough??

Hiccough has the sound of sup... My advice is: GIVE IT UP!

[merlins-earmuffs]

all ‘merchant of venice’ audios

BASSANIO

Fair Portia's counterfeit! What demi-god

Hath come so near creation? Move these eyes?

Or whether, riding on the balls of mine,

Seem they in motion? Here are sever'd lips,

Parted with sugar breath: so sweet a bar

Should sunder such sweet friends. Here in her hairs

The painter plays the spider and hath woven

A golden mesh to entrap the hearts of men,

Faster than gnats in cobwebs; but her eyes,--

How could he see to do them? having made one,

Methinks it should have power to steal both his

And leave itself unfurnish'd. Yet look, how far

The substance of my praise doth wrong this shadow

In underprizing it, so far this shadow

Doth limp behind the substance. Here's the scroll,

The continent and summary of my fortune.

Reads

You that choose not by the view,

Chance as fair and choose as true!

Since this fortune falls to you,

Be content and seek no new,

If you be well pleased with this

And hold your fortune for your bliss,

Turn you where your lady is

And claim her with a loving kiss.

A gentle scroll. Fair lady, by your leave;

I come by note, to give and to receive.

Like one of two contending in a prize,

That thinks he hath done well in people's eyes,

Hearing applause and universal shout,

Giddy in spirit, still gazing in a doubt

Whether these pearls of praise be his or no;

So, thrice fair lady, stand I, even so;

As doubtful whether what I see be true,

Until confirm'd, sign'd, ratified by you.

[p-isforpoetry]

"Auguries of Innocence" by William Blake (read by Sir Ralph Richardson)

To see a World in a Grain of Sand And a Heaven in a Wild Flower Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand And Eternity in an hour

A Robin Red breast in a Cage Puts all Heaven in a Rage A Dove house filld with Doves & Pigeons Shudders Hell thr' all its regions A dog starvd at his Masters Gate Predicts the ruin of the State A Horse misusd upon the Road Calls to Heaven for Human blood Each outcry of the hunted Hare A fibre from the Brain does tear A Skylark wounded in the wing A Cherubim does cease to sing The Game Cock clipd & armd for fight Does the Rising Sun affright Every Wolfs & Lions howl Raises from Hell a Human Soul The wild deer, wandring here & there Keeps the Human Soul from Care The Lamb misusd breeds Public Strife And yet forgives the Butchers knife The Bat that flits at close of Eve Has left the Brain that wont Believe The Owl that calls upon the Night Speaks the Unbelievers fright He who shall hurt the little Wren Shall never be belovd by Men He who the Ox to wrath has movd Shall never be by Woman lovd The wanton Boy that kills the Fly Shall feel the Spiders enmity He who torments the Chafers Sprite Weaves a Bower in endless Night The Catterpiller on the Leaf Repeats to thee thy Mothers grief Kill not the Moth nor Butterfly For the Last Judgment draweth nigh He who shall train the Horse to War Shall never pass the Polar Bar The Beggars Dog & Widows Cat Feed them & thou wilt grow fat The Gnat that sings his Summers Song Poison gets from Slanders tongue The poison of the Snake & Newt Is the sweat of Envys Foot The poison of the Honey Bee Is the Artists Jealousy The Princes Robes & Beggars Rags Are Toadstools on the Misers Bags A Truth thats told with bad intent Beats all the Lies you can invent It is right it should be so Man was made for Joy & Woe And when this we rightly know Thro the World we safely go Joy & Woe are woven fine A Clothing for the soul divine Under every grief & pine Runs a joy with silken twine The Babe is more than swadling Bands Throughout all these Human Lands Tools were made & Born were hands Every Farmer Understands Every Tear from Every Eye Becomes a Babe in Eternity This is caught by Females bright And returnd to its own delight The Bleat the Bark Bellow & Roar Are Waves that Beat on Heavens Shore The Babe that weeps the Rod beneath Writes Revenge in realms of Death The Beggars Rags fluttering in Air Does to Rags the Heavens tear The Soldier armd with Sword & Gun Palsied strikes the Summers Sun The poor Mans Farthing is worth more Than all the Gold on Africs Shore One Mite wrung from the Labrers hands Shall buy & sell the Misers Lands Or if protected from on high Does that whole Nation sell & buy He who mocks the Infants Faith Shall be mockd in Age & Death He who shall teach the Child to Doubt The rotting Grave shall neer get out He who respects the Infants faith Triumphs over Hell & Death The Childs Toys & the Old Mans Reasons Are the Fruits of the Two seasons The Questioner who sits so sly Shall never know how to Reply He who replies to words of Doubt Doth put the Light of Knowledge out The Strongest Poison ever known Came from Caesars Laurel Crown Nought can Deform the Human Race Like to the Armours iron brace When Gold & Gems adorn the Plow To peaceful Arts shall Envy Bow A Riddle or the Crickets Cry Is to Doubt a fit Reply The Emmets Inch & Eagles Mile Make Lame Philosophy to smile He who Doubts from what he sees Will neer Believe do what you Please If the Sun & Moon should Doubt Theyd immediately Go out To be in a Passion you Good may Do But no Good if a Passion is in you The Whore & Gambler by the State Licencd build that Nations Fate The Harlots cry from Street to Street Shall weave Old Englands winding Sheet The Winners Shout the Losers Curse Dance before dead Englands Hearse Every Night & every Morn Some to Misery are Born Every Morn and every Night Some are Born to sweet delight Some are Born to sweet delight Some are Born to Endless Night We are led to Believe a Lie When we see not Thro the Eye Which was Born in a Night to perish in a Night When the Soul Slept in Beams of Light God Appears & God is Light To those poor Souls who dwell in Night But does a Human Form Display To those who Dwell in Realms of day

Source: Sir Ralph Richardson reads William Blake, 2009

[eru-na]

Gerard Nolst Trenité - The Chaos (1922)

Dearest creature in creation Studying English pronunciation,   I will teach you in my verse   Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.

I will keep you, Susy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy;   Tear in eye, your dress you'll tear;   Queer, fair seer, hear my prayer.

Pray, console your loving poet, Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!   Just compare heart, hear and heard,   Dies and diet, lord and word.

Sword and sward, retain and Britain (Mind the latter how it's written).   Made has not the sound of bade,   Say-said, pay-paid, laid but plaid.

Now I surely will not plague you With such words as vague and ague,   But be careful how you speak,   Say: gush, bush, steak, streak, break, bleak ,

Previous, precious, fuchsia, via Recipe, pipe, studding-sail, choir;   Woven, oven, how and low,   Script, receipt, shoe, poem, toe.

Say, expecting fraud and trickery: Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore,   Branch, ranch, measles, topsails, aisles,   Missiles, similes, reviles.

Wholly, holly, signal, signing, Same, examining, but mining,   Scholar, vicar, and cigar,   Solar, mica, war and far.

From "desire": desirable-admirable from "admire", Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier,   Topsham, brougham, renown, but known,   Knowledge, done, lone, gone, none, tone,

One, anemone, Balmoral, Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel.   Gertrude, German, wind and wind,   Beau, kind, kindred, queue, mankind,

Tortoise, turquoise, chamois-leather, Reading, Reading, heathen, heather.   This phonetic labyrinth   Gives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth.

Have you ever yet endeavoured To pronounce revered and severed,   Demon, lemon, ghoul, foul, soul,   Peter, petrol and patrol?

Billet does not end like ballet; Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.   Blood and flood are not like food,   Nor is mould like should and would.

Banquet is not nearly parquet, Which exactly rhymes with khaki.   Discount, viscount, load and broad,   Toward, to forward, to reward,

Ricocheted and crocheting, croquet? Right! Your pronunciation's OK.   Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,   Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Is your r correct in higher? Keats asserts it rhymes Thalia.   Hugh, but hug, and hood, but hoot,   Buoyant, minute, but minute.

Say abscission with precision, Now: position and transition;   Would it tally with my rhyme   If I mentioned paradigm?

Twopence, threepence, tease are easy, But cease, crease, grease and greasy?   Cornice, nice, valise, revise,   Rabies, but lullabies.

Of such puzzling words as nauseous, Rhyming well with cautious, tortious,   You'll envelop lists, I hope,   In a linen envelope.

Would you like some more? You'll have it! Affidavit, David, davit.   To abjure, to perjure. Sheik   Does not sound like Czech but ache.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven, Rachel, loch, moustache, eleven.   We say hallowed, but allowed,   People, leopard, towed but vowed.

Mark the difference, moreover, Between mover, plover, Dover.   Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,   Chalice, but police and lice,

Camel, constable, unstable, Principle, disciple, label.   Petal, penal, and canal,   Wait, surmise, plait, promise, pal,

Suit, suite, ruin. Circuit, conduit Rhyme with "shirk it" and "beyond it",   But it is not hard to tell   Why it's pall, mall, but Pall Mall.

Muscle, muscular, gaol, iron, Timber, climber, bullion, lion,   Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,   Senator, spectator, mayor,

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour Has the a of drachm and hammer.   Pussy, hussy and possess,   Desert, but desert, address.

Golf, wolf, countenance, lieutenants Hoist in lieu of flags left pennants.   Courier, courtier, tomb, bomb, comb,   Cow, but Cowper, some and home.

"Solder, soldier! Blood is thicker", Quoth he, "than liqueur or liquor",   Making, it is sad but true,   In bravado, much ado.

Stranger does not rhyme with anger, Neither does devour with clangour.   Pilot, pivot, gaunt, but aunt,   Font, front, wont, want, grand and grant.

Arsenic, specific, scenic, Relic, rhetoric, hygienic.   Gooseberry, goose, and close, but close,   Paradise, rise, rose, and dose.

Say inveigh, neigh, but inveigle, Make the latter rhyme with eagle.   Mind! Meandering but mean,   Valentine and magazine.

And I bet you, dear, a penny, You say mani-(fold) like many,   Which is wrong. Say rapier, pier,   Tier (one who ties), but tier.

Arch, archangel; pray, does erring Rhyme with herring or with stirring?   Prison, bison, treasure trove,   Treason, hover, cover, cove,

Perseverance, severance. Ribald Rhymes (but piebald doesn't) with nibbled.   Phaeton, paean, gnat, ghat, gnaw,   Lien, psychic, shone, bone, pshaw.

Don't be down, my own, but rough it, And distinguish buffet, buffet;   Brood, stood, roof, rook, school, wool, boon,   Worcester, Boleyn, to impugn.

Say in sounds correct and sterling Hearse, hear, hearken, year and yearling.   Evil, devil, mezzotint,   Mind the z! (A gentle hint.)

Now you need not pay attention To such sounds as I don't mention,   Sounds like pores, pause, pours and paws,   Rhyming with the pronoun yours;

Nor are proper names included, Though I often heard, as you did,   Funny rhymes to unicorn,   Yes, you know them, Vaughan and Strachan.

No, my maiden, coy and comely, I don't want to speak of Cholmondeley.   No. Yet Froude compared with proud   Is no better than McLeod.

But mind trivial and vial, Tripod, menial, denial,   Troll and trolley, realm and ream,   Schedule, mischief, schism, and scheme.

Argil, gill, Argyll, gill. Surely May be made to rhyme with Raleigh,   But you're not supposed to say   Piquet rhymes with sobriquet.

Had this invalid invalid Worthless documents? How pallid,   How uncouth he, couchant, looked,   When for Portsmouth I had booked!

Zeus, Thebes, Thales, Aphrodite, Paramour, enamoured, flighty,   Episodes, antipodes,   Acquiesce, and obsequies.

Please don't monkey with the geyser, Don't peel 'taters with my razor,   Rather say in accents pure:   Nature, stature and mature.

Pious, impious, limb, climb, glumly, Worsted, worsted, crumbly, dumbly,   Conquer, conquest, vase, phase, fan,   Wan, sedan and artisan.

The th will surely trouble you More than r, ch or w.   Say then these phonetic gems:   Thomas, thyme, Theresa, Thames.

Thompson, Chatham, Waltham, Streatham, There are more but I forget 'em-   Wait! I've got it: Anthony,   Lighten your anxiety.

The archaic word albeit Does not rhyme with eight-you see it;   With and forthwith, one has voice,   One has not, you make your choice.

Shoes, goes, does *. Now first say: finger; Then say: singer, ginger, linger.   Real, zeal, mauve, gauze and gauge,   Marriage, foliage, mirage, age,

Hero, heron, query, very, Parry, tarry fury, bury,   Dost, lost, post, and doth, cloth, loth,   Job, Job, blossom, bosom, oath.

Faugh, oppugnant, keen oppugners, Bowing, bowing, banjo-tuners   Holm you know, but noes, canoes,   Puisne, truism, use, to use?

Though the difference seems little, We say actual, but victual,   Seat, sweat, chaste, caste, Leigh, eight, height,   Put, nut, granite, and unite.

Reefer does not rhyme with deafer, Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer.   Dull, bull, Geoffrey, George, ate, late,   Hint, pint, senate, but sedate.

Gaelic, Arabic, pacific, Science, conscience, scientific;   Tour, but our, dour, succour, four,   Gas, alas, and Arkansas.

Say manoeuvre, yacht and vomit, Next omit, which differs from it   Bona fide, alibi   Gyrate, dowry and awry.

Sea, idea, guinea, area, Psalm, Maria, but malaria.   Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean,   Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian, Dandelion with battalion,   Rally with ally; yea, ye,   Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, key, quay!

Say aver, but ever, fever, Neither, leisure, skein, receiver.   Never guess-it is not safe,   We say calves, valves, half, but Ralf.

Starry, granary, canary, Crevice, but device, and eyrie,   Face, but preface, then grimace,   Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.

Bass, large, target, gin, give, verging, Ought, oust, joust, and scour, but scourging;   Ear, but earn; and ere and tear   Do not rhyme with here but heir.

Mind the o of off and often Which may be pronounced as orphan,   With the sound of saw and sauce;   Also soft, lost, cloth and cross.

Pudding, puddle, putting. Putting? Yes: at golf it rhymes with shutting.   Respite, spite, consent, resent.   Liable, but Parliament.

Seven is right, but so is even, Hyphen, roughen, nephew, Stephen,   Monkey, donkey, clerk and jerk,   Asp, grasp, wasp, demesne, cork, work.

A of valour, vapid vapour, S of news (compare newspaper),   G of gibbet, gibbon, gist,   I of antichrist and grist,

Differ like diverse and divers, Rivers, strivers, shivers, fivers.   Once, but nonce, toll, doll, but roll,   Polish, Polish, poll and poll.

Pronunciation-think of Psyche!- Is a paling, stout and spiky.   Won't it make you lose your wits   Writing groats and saying "grits"?

It's a dark abyss or tunnel Strewn with stones like rowlock, gunwale,   Islington, and Isle of Wight,   Housewife, verdict and indict.

Don't you think so, reader, rather, Saying lather, bather, father?   Finally, which rhymes with enough,   Though, through, bough, cough, hough, sough, tough??

Hiccough has the sound of sup... My advice is: GIVE IT UP!

[thekirstenkhaye]

The Chaos (1922)

by  Gerard Nolst Trenité

Dearest creature in creation Studying English pronunciation, I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse. I will keep you, Susy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy; Tear in eye, your dress you'll tear; Queer, fair seer, hear my prayer. Pray, console your loving poet, Make my coat look new, dear, sew it! Just compare heart, hear and heard, Dies and diet, lord and word. Sword and sward, retain and Britain (Mind the latter how it's written). Made has not the sound of bade, Say-said, pay-paid, laid but plaid. Now I surely will not plague you With such words as vague and ague, But be careful how you speak, Say: gush, bush, steak, streak, break, bleak , Previous, precious, fuchsia, via Recipe, pipe, studding-sail, choir; Woven, oven, how and low, Script, receipt, shoe, poem, toe. Say, expecting fraud and trickery: Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore, Branch, ranch, measles, topsails, aisles, Missiles, similes, reviles. Wholly, holly, signal, signing, Same, examining, but mining, Scholar, vicar, and cigar, Solar, mica, war and far. From "desire": desirable-admirable from "admire", Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier, Topsham, brougham, renown, but known, Knowledge, done, lone, gone, none, tone, One, anemone, Balmoral, Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel. Gertrude, German, wind and wind, Beau, kind, kindred, queue, mankind, Tortoise, turquoise, chamois-leather, Reading, Reading, heathen, heather. This phonetic labyrinth Gives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth. Have you ever yet endeavoured To pronounce revered and severed, Demon, lemon, ghoul, foul, soul, Peter, petrol and patrol? Billet does not end like ballet; Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet. Blood and flood are not like food, Nor is mould like should and would. Banquet is not nearly parquet, Which exactly rhymes with khaki. Discount, viscount, load and broad, Toward, to forward, to reward, Ricocheted and crocheting, croquet? Right! Your pronunciation's OK. Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve, Friend and fiend, alive and live. Is your r correct in higher? Keats asserts it rhymes Thalia. Hugh, but hug, and hood, but hoot, Buoyant, minute, but minute. Say abscission with precision, Now: position and transition; Would it tally with my rhyme If I mentioned paradigm? Twopence, threepence, tease are easy, But cease, crease, grease and greasy? Cornice, nice, valise, revise, Rabies, but lullabies. Of such puzzling words as nauseous, Rhyming well with cautious, tortious, You'll envelop lists, I hope, In a linen envelope. Would you like some more? You'll have it! Affidavit, David, davit. To abjure, to perjure. Sheik Does not sound like Czech but ache. Liberty, library, heave and heaven, Rachel, loch, moustache, eleven. We say hallowed, but allowed, People, leopard, towed but vowed. Mark the difference, moreover, Between mover, plover, Dover. Leeches, breeches, wise, precise, Chalice, but police and lice, Camel, constable, unstable, Principle, disciple, label. Petal, penal, and canal, Wait, surmise, plait, promise, pal, Suit, suite, ruin. Circuit, conduit Rhyme with "shirk it" and "beyond it", But it is not hard to tell Why it's pall, mall, but Pall Mall. Muscle, muscular, gaol, iron, Timber, climber, bullion, lion, Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair, Senator, spectator, mayor, Ivy, privy, famous; clamour Has the a of drachm and hammer. Pussy, hussy and possess, Desert, but desert, address. Golf, wolf, countenance, lieutenants Hoist in lieu of flags left pennants. Courier, courtier, tomb, bomb, comb, Cow, but Cowper, some and home. "Solder, soldier! Blood is thicker", Quoth he, "than liqueur or liquor", Making, it is sad but true, In bravado, much ado. Stranger does not rhyme with anger, Neither does devour with clangour. Pilot, pivot, gaunt, but aunt, Font, front, wont, want, grand and grant. Arsenic, specific, scenic, Relic, rhetoric, hygienic. Gooseberry, goose, and close, but close, Paradise, rise, rose, and dose. Say inveigh, neigh, but inveigle, Make the latter rhyme with eagle. Mind! Meandering but mean, Valentine and magazine. And I bet you, dear, a penny, You say mani-(fold) like many, Which is wrong. Say rapier, pier, Tier (one who ties), but tier. Arch, archangel; pray, does erring Rhyme with herring or with stirring? Prison, bison, treasure trove, Treason, hover, cover, cove, Perseverance, severance. Ribald Rhymes (but piebald doesn't) with nibbled. Phaeton, paean, gnat, ghat, gnaw, Lien, psychic, shone, bone, pshaw. Don't be down, my own, but rough it, And distinguish buffet, buffet; Brood, stood, roof, rook, school, wool, boon, Worcester, Boleyn, to impugn. Say in sounds correct and sterling Hearse, hear, hearken, year and yearling. Evil, devil, mezzotint, Mind the z! (A gentle hint.) Now you need not pay attention To such sounds as I don't mention, Sounds like pores, pause, pours and paws, Rhyming with the pronoun yours; Nor are proper names included, Though I often heard, as you did, Funny rhymes to unicorn, Yes, you know them, Vaughan and Strachan. No, my maiden, coy and comely, I don't want to speak of Cholmondeley. No. Yet Froude compared with proud Is no better than McLeod. But mind trivial and vial, Tripod, menial, denial, Troll and trolley, realm and ream, Schedule, mischief, schism, and scheme. Argil, gill, Argyll, gill. Surely May be made to rhyme with Raleigh, But you're not supposed to say Piquet rhymes with sobriquet. Had this invalid invalid Worthless documents? How pallid, How uncouth he, couchant, looked, When for Portsmouth I had booked! Zeus, Thebes, Thales, Aphrodite, Paramour, enamoured, flighty, Episodes, antipodes, Acquiesce, and obsequies. Please don't monkey with the geyser, Don't peel 'taters with my razor, Rather say in accents pure: Nature, stature and mature. Pious, impious, limb, climb, glumly, Worsted, worsted, crumbly, dumbly, Conquer, conquest, vase, phase, fan, Wan, sedan and artisan. The th will surely trouble you More than r, ch or w. Say then these phonetic gems: Thomas, thyme, Theresa, Thames. Thompson, Chatham, Waltham, Streatham, There are more but I forget 'em- Wait! I've got it: Anthony, Lighten your anxiety. The archaic word albeit Does not rhyme with eight-you see it; With and forthwith, one has voice, One has not, you make your choice. Shoes, goes, does *. Now first say: finger; Then say: singer, ginger, linger. Real, zeal, mauve, gauze and gauge, Marriage, foliage, mirage, age, Hero, heron, query, very, Parry, tarry fury, bury, Dost, lost, post, and doth, cloth, loth, Job, Job, blossom, bosom, oath. Faugh, oppugnant, keen oppugners, Bowing, bowing, banjo-tuners Holm you know, but noes, canoes, Puisne, truism, use, to use? Though the difference seems little, We say actual, but victual, Seat, sweat, chaste, caste, Leigh, eight, height, Put, nut, granite, and unite. Reefer does not rhyme with deafer, Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer. Dull, bull, Geoffrey, George, ate, late, Hint, pint, senate, but sedate. Gaelic, Arabic, pacific, Science, conscience, scientific; Tour, but our, dour, succour, four, Gas, alas, and Arkansas. Say manoeuvre, yacht and vomit, Next omit, which differs from it Bona fide, alibi Gyrate, dowry and awry. Sea, idea, guinea, area, Psalm, Maria, but malaria. Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean, Doctrine, turpentine, marine. Compare alien with Italian, Dandelion with battalion, Rally with ally; yea, ye, Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, key, quay! Say aver, but ever, fever, Neither, leisure, skein, receiver. Never guess-it is not safe, We say calves, valves, half, but Ralf. Starry, granary, canary, Crevice, but device, and eyrie, Face, but preface, then grimace, Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass. Bass, large, target, gin, give, verging, Ought, oust, joust, and scour, but scourging; Ear, but earn; and ere and tear Do not rhyme with here but heir. Mind the o of off and often Which may be pronounced as orphan, With the sound of saw and sauce; Also soft, lost, cloth and cross. Pudding, puddle, putting. Putting? Yes: at golf it rhymes with shutting. Respite, spite, consent, resent. Liable, but Parliament. Seven is right, but so is even, Hyphen, roughen, nephew, Stephen, Monkey, donkey, clerk and jerk, Asp, grasp, wasp, demesne, cork, work. A of valour, vapid vapour, S of news (compare newspaper), G of gibbet, gibbon, gist, I of antichrist and grist, Differ like diverse and divers, Rivers, strivers, shivers, fivers. Once, but nonce, toll, doll, but roll, Polish, Polish, poll and poll. Pronunciation-think of Psyche!- Is a paling, stout and spiky. Won't it make you lose your wits Writing groats and saying "grits"? It's a dark abyss or tunnel Strewn with stones like rowlock, gunwale, Islington, and Isle of Wight, Housewife, verdict and indict. Don't you think so, reader, rather, Saying lather, bather, father? Finally, which rhymes with enough, Though, through, bough, cough, hough, sough, tough?? Hiccough has the sound of sup... My advice is: GIVE IT UP!

[theliterarygnat]

Reading Summary: 1. May, 2024 (The Hunger of the Gods, Chapters 50-78)

CHAPTER 50 | ORKA I actually like Vesli and Spert, though I do wish they were more developed and had more nice interactions with Orka to help play up the emotions in this scene. Spert's scenes and appearances usually boil down to 'Spert hungry. where porridge?' and Vesli, while having had more scenes, feels like she's brushed off by Orka more than not.

I also wish we'd have gotten more scenes with Vesli and Breca in the first book to help solidify her motivation. There's not much going on there, even though Breca was the one who found and saved her. I wish that Orka's story in the first book was organized differently to allow us to get more invested in her family. I knew since chapter one that they'd be killed and abducted, so it was hard to get into their presence since I knew they'd be gone soon. Because of how distant Orka felt from them at times, I also think I didn't really get the emotional undercurrent in their relationships. I wish there was just more there in general. More feelings, more substance, more conflict too; I wish Orka was struggling harder to be a good mother and feeling guilty about her failures and needing to get her son back not just because she needs and loves him, but also because she feels like she has to make up for failing him thus far. I want her to think more about Thorkel, and I wish they'd had more genuinely romantic moments, like a kiss here and there.

There's just a lot, I think, in the pacing of both books that makes it hard to get into the characters as much as I know I could.

CHAPTER 51 | VARG Okay at first I thought they were revenants but now I'm thinking maybe vampire thralls??? Because of the tongue with teeth. Like maybe it's only one guy that's an actual monster (the one with the worm-tooth-tongue) while the rest are people he killed and 'revived' or started mind-controlling. It's a very fun battle-scene. The second one I've liked so far I think. There was a bit too much snarling and snarls but I can imagine one runs out of synonyms at some point. I also wish that Varg's wolf being set free was a bit better described, since it feels like we do the book equivalent of cutting to black even though we were getting to the coolest part of all.

CHAPTER 52 | GUÐVARR I really enjoyed the way everything fell into place here. I'm even almost happy for Guðvarr here; not because I like him, but because his chapters were finally interesting, and only because this dumbass finally spoke up and used what little brains he's got to make shit happen. I wish his self-awareness had been more consistent through his chapters instead of flip-flopping like it does sometimes, but I liked its implementation here. I just wish Gwynne gave up on the 'pissing his pants' characterization already. It's tired, it's grating, it doesn't add anything when it happens every chapter, and it's boring.

CHAPTER 53 | VARG I fucking LOVE tungumaturs!!!! Oh my god what a concept. Beautiful, amazing, showstopping, it's so disgusting and I absolutely love it. I never would move to Iskidan either, Varg.

pg. 454

"I think he's dead," Æsa said as she ran past him, grinning wildly as she sprinted after a handful of men and women who were running from the settlement, fleeing into the gloom of the beech-wood beyond. "Best be after them," she said, "don't think we want any of these parasite-spreading niðings getting out of here," and without waiting she was running after them. Varg broke into a run after Æsa, Einar saw them and followed.

These paragraphs are both very awkward. Right off the bat, the first one is an entire sentence even though it would flow better if it was split up more. As an example:

"I think he's dead," Æsa chuckled as she ran past him. Grinning wildly, she sprinted after a handful of men and women who were fleeing into the gloom of the beech-wood beyond.

"running from the settlement" is implied by "fleeing", so I feel it would have been best removed.

The second paragraph also has some formatting issues. "Best be after them" and "don't think we…." are both full sentences, so the dialogue tag should end in a period, and the following sentence should be capitalized. "Einar saw them and followed" also does not feel connected to the first clause of the last sentence. It'd have been more natural if instead of a comma, that passage was split into two sentences with a period.

Furthermore, Æsa is described on multiple occasions as running/sprinting, or in general moving further away at high speeds. However the way she is described as speaking and running "without waiting" does imply that she had stopped at some point to impart this information to him. Either she should have been shouting so we'd get the sense of growing distance between her and Varg (dropping the "without waiting" clause), or we could have had Einar speak in the second paragraph instead. As an example of how the two edited paragraphs could have looked:

"I think he's dead!" Æsa told him as she ran past. Grinning wildly, she sprinted after men and women fleeing into the gloom of beech-woods beyond the settlement. Einar lumbered up close. "Best be after them," he noted and patted Varg on the pack, shoving him forward. "We don't want any of these parasite niðings getting out of here!" Before he could finish speaking, Varg broke into a mad dash after Æsa. Einar swiftly followed.

Einar would maybe have said it in a different way, but I'm not here to do that much work. But I do think that having Einar speak in the second chapter is more clear regarding the action. I also varied the language a little bit, since we get "ran", "running" and "run" quite close to each other. This is a first pass, something that would probably go through an edit or two during editing proper.

I want to note that while I do rag on the language and formatting in this book a lot, it is with the knowledge that Gwynne is probably a victim of his publishing house here. It is a publisher's duty to make sure that a book goes through edits and is improved and polished before it is sent out to the public, and it is rather clear to me that this either did not happen, or that it was not done enough. That's not Gwynne's fault. From what I gather, he lost his daughter whilst working on The Hunger of the Gods. My theory is that Orbit forced this book to get published before it was ready. So while I will continue critiquing the prose in this novel, it is done with the knowledge that Gwynne isn't the culprit here.

pg. 455 "like a wild thing" is a rather weak simile. I think maybe "struggling and bucking like a frightened/wild horse" could have had a better effect? Not sure on that, but I just know that "like a wild thing" isn't working for me here.

"Einar hacked tongue-people to the ground, trampled them" feels… maybe not clunky, but incomplete. "trampling" could have worked better in this instance.

pg. 459 First of all, with how Vol is called 'Glornir's woman', I thought that 'I am the prince's man' meant they were together. Presumably I am wrong about this.

Second of all, EINAR!!!! BEST BOY EINAR!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

CHAPTER 54 | BIÓRR pg. 463 "I'm worried about Kalv, Papa." TOT Lik-Rifa doesn't really have the charisma of a cult leader. Not with the way she's portrayed. I'd have wished she had been given more gravitas and spoke more to the hearts of her followers, even if she didn't exactly mean what she'd say. This would have been a great opportunity to show how she frames this to her followers, how they're asked to think about their deeds. "It is us who shall end the ruination of this world, who shall bring freedom and prosperity to all. No more shall the Tainted be hunted and shunted, no more shall you be beaten and bruised, no more shall you know the terror and fear of hated and isolation. You shall walk upon these lands equal with all around you, the Tainted and the untouched, and none shall ever again feel the weight of a collar around their neck." Like, that would make everyone's devotion a lot more believable. It would also make Lik-Rifa feel actually cunning and dangerous beyond her threatening to eat people, which gets old fast (to me, the reader). Giving her a moving speech would genuinely be a great addition.

CHAPTER 54 | ORKA pg. 469 Why, why, WHY is Sæunn referred to as 'the Hundur-thrall' in ORKA'S POV? Why not 'the woman' or something along these lines? I can understand why Orka hasn't taken the collar off yet, since she needs Sæunn and there is a chance she might escape if she doesn't keep it on, but like. I can see Sæunn still helping out, for one, and for two, give her some dignity and personhood beyond thralldom. It's Orka's POV! She's Tainted too! She shouldn't be dehumanising people like that. Just say 'the woman'! Same goes for 'the Hundur-blood'. It's so demeaning, especially with how it calls back to Elvar's treatment of Ilmur and the supposedly impactful moment when Biórr told her Ilmur has a fucking name.

pg. 473 I saw the 'Halja only humps women' conversation on tumblr and thought that maybe it will come off forced or out of the blue but actually, I love how it's implemented. It feels natural, especially the fact that the Bloodsworn aren't actually sure what her deal is; and it plays nicely into how they tend to lovingly bully Lif in general.

CHAPTER 56 | ELVAR I'm wondering if Gwynne means for Skuld's confidence and borderline narcissism to excuse Elvar's treatment of her. Skuld clearly thinks herself to be a higher lifeform over the humans she is surrounded by, which is to be expected from a god, but that doesn't really mean she deserves being enslaved and abused as she had been. Honestly I hope Elvar gets hella humbled or dies at some point; I am so sick of her being handed everything on a silver platter by the story even though she hasn't really struggled for it and doesn't have enough substance for me to care about her. Few of the characters do, but at least they aren't as infuriatingly horrible people as her.

CHAPTER 57 | ORKA pg. 484 Again, teeth usually don't draw back; but lips sure do!

pg. 487 The ravens paid off their debt already. They do not have to be here. Why are they here? Are they trying to make Orka indebted to them?

pg. 489 Ahh, I see. It's nice that the ravens have a reason for appearing beyond helping Orka out again like some Deus Ex Machina. It's also nice to see that there are more people like Orka who are able to work with non-humans on friendly terms.

pg. 490 Please don't tell me the ravens will do the favour for free, citing her saving them from the frost-spiders. They paid that off already, as they said.

CHAPTER 58 | BIÓRR Finally a Biórr chapter when him mentioning Agnar and Elvar doesn't piss me off. I do like that he was so quick to let Bjarn and Kráka go. I had been waiting for Gwynne to pay-off the bloð svarið on Kráka and I really like how he's done it. The fact that Biórr got it, that he put up some resistance but knew at heart he needed to let them go… beautiful. The fact they got caught so easily though…. a bit less beautiful. I like Breca putting up a fight, I like Rotta being actually kinda scary with how he is nice (whether genuinely or not) in a convincing way, how he is smart and knows things and leverages it, and with how ruthless he gets. It's something I wish Lik-Rifa was capable of as well. It was overall a very good chapter. I legitimately wondered if Biórr was gonna get out of it alive and well!

CHAPTER 59 | VARG Varg's slice-of-life chapters are a nice breath of fresh air. It's fun seeing everyone bully him so fondly and I love Røkia choosing to match hairstyles with him. There's also a lot of growth shown in this chapter, with Varg actually being interested in what he is learning and asking questions. The others were right to call him out on it, because he truly never really seemed to have that drive to actually work on that aspect of his character. I miss the focus we had on his motivations and Frøya, but it might be the wiser choice considering that he wouldn't be able to do anything about it while chasing after Vol.

CHAPTER 60 | GUÐVARR Guðvarr is becoming the funniest coward on earth. What a pathetic, whiney cunt. This was a great chapter, honestly. Frek being a dick to Guðvarr was so funny. Guðvarr has a knack for lying and acting though, just a little bit. It's interesting to see the shit he gets himself into over and over again; every fit of fear leads to another fit of pathetic attempts to beg for his life, however that may actually manifest. It's borderline relatable? Digging yourself a deeper grave whilst trying to hold up a web of lies because you know the consequences are shit if anyone breaks that web down.

CHAPTER 61 | ELVAR pg. 526 I feel a little torn about Skuld thanking Elvar. On one hand, Skuld has been characterized as extremely proud and stern, indignant at the abuse and disrespect she receives. On the other, Elvar has hurt her significantly and lords her power over Skuld every chance she gets. I can see Skuld trying to keep to Elvar's "good side", but I also wish that she hadn't said anything; too prideful and righteously angry at her treatment to say thank you, but too afraid of Elvar's power over her to go on a tirade about her anger at being parted from her sword and how she finally has what is rightfully hers or something like that. I guess my position is "I hate it, but I get it."

pg. 529 Agnar said that saying once in the entire Shadow of the Gods novel, in the very beginning. I wish he'd said it once or twice more so that the reader would understand it's a saying he uses often and not just something he said in the spur of the moment when he found out who Uspa is.

pg. 530 Bragging about all the people Elvar hunted down and/or enslaved is not as cool as she might think it is. It only doubles down on the suffering she is responsible for.

CHAPTER 62 | BIÓRR PLEASE let us see Orka find Breca in this book and then fail to save him. PLEASE that would be so juicy. And maddening. But so juicy.

CHAPTER 63 | VARG Why did this chapter have to be so short ToT I wanted to see them get ready to kick Jaromir's ass NOW. Dammit :(

CHAPTER 64 | ORKA pg. 541

Something glinted up ahead, catching Orka's eye, and Sæunn stopped, hand raised. "Frost-spiders," the Hundur-thrall hissed.

Again, why is Sæunn objectified/demeaned by being referred to as 'the Hundur-thrall' multiple times on this page? In this instance, 'she said' would have worked well, since she is the last to have performed an action.

Likewise, in this passage:

"Stay behind me," she said to the Hundur-thrall.

the dialogue tag did not have to specify that Orka said this to Sæunn. If that had to be mentioned, it'd be much better to define Sæunn as either a person with Hundur-blood (instead on focusing on her status as a slave, focus on her personhood), by a feature of her appearance, or by an action she was doing. There aren't that many spaces in this book where a person is constantly spoken of this way in the narrative (such as in Varg's or even Elvar's chapters anymore), with their names usually getting repeated or dropped because specification like that isn't needed. It is quite off-putting that Sæunn is being treated this way by the text. Not to mention that this is not less repetitive.

CHAPTER 65 | ELVAR pg. 547 I wish Elvar had been the one to either say or think Grend's dialogue here; and I wish she had the wherewithal to group herself in with all those who arrived. She is no better than them, her only motivation being battle-fame/fair-fame and money. She would not have gone on to do anything else if not for the bloð svarið.

CHAPTER 66 | VARG Gods, please, don't let this be Varg's last chapter. There's like a hundred pages left and I NEED to see this shit go down.

CHAPTER 67 | ELVAR pg. 556 SO MUCH of that should have played a major part in The Shadow of the Gods! We should have learned all that back then, the first time Elvar has returned to Snakavik, when her father tried to manipulate her into coming back with the shallowest offer possible. It feels like this information wasn't taken into consideration at all when Gwynne had written that whole-ass chapter; it seemed like Elvar didn't have anything of that happening in her life at that point. This feels almost like a retcon. There had been no sense of this bitterness or this past when Elvar was here last time, when these emotions should have been at their peak.

Likewise, in the first book, when Elvar came back, it was supposedly a big deal that Jarl Störr was her father. But I never wondered about her parentage because there was never any hint that her parentage was important. When she apparently had an issue returning to Snakavik, familial issues were only one of many potential backstory conflicts, so it wasn't really anything that resonated when there was an explicit confirmation that yes, the major conflict of her past was family-related. There wasn't really any weight to the reveal nor to the offer she received, and that chapter was one of the weakest and most frustrating. She should have festered in her hatred for her father during her time away, made her return to Snakavik impactful in the first book, instead of her having fuckall feelings and thoughts back then only now to suddenly sprout a backstory that affects her while she returns for the second time.

pg. 558 I'll give this one and one compliment only; "Hello, Father" is a damn good callback to the first book.

CHAPTER 68 | VARG YES he is still in the game! I have checked some reviews for this book and one claimed that the book gets worse once Varg's chapters disappear at the end, and so I am dreading when that happens.

It's nice to see Varg actually use some wits and the skills he's been taught to find good opportunities to attack instead of running into battle with nothing in his head but chop, chop, chop. About time really. This battle was generally very fun to follow, though it does make me question how many Bloodsworn there are exactly. They seem to be sprouting like daisies and multiplying like rabbits.

CHAPTER 69 | ELVAR pg. 570 I wish Elvar had said 'I will not' instead of 'I cannot'. "I cannot" implies she would be willing to ally with her father under other circumstances, which does not sound right to me; not with all the hatred she is supposedly holding towards him for the abuse and manipulation she had endured at his and Thorun's hand.

CHAPTER 70 | VARG pg. 574 Varg should have been a fuckin' acrobat! Perhaps he will be known as Varg Wall-Scaler in the future.

pg. 582 Oh my god???? Was Jaromir, or someone he's associated with, trying to resurrect their own gods in Iskidan????

CHAPTER 71 | ELVAR I guess Gwynne meant for this to be a feel-good victory maybe? But I don't feel much of anything. "Oh, great, Elvar got another thing handed to her on a silver platter because she owns slaves". What a wonderful, joyous occasion. Wahoo. It's honestly rather annoying that Orka and Varg have stronger motivations with actual deep meaning that affects them greatly but keep losing or being veered off-course, whereas Elvar's just out here, a selfish cunt who's doing all this only because she has taken the blod svarid and doesn't actually give a shit, and gets everything. Guðvarr's struggles are more compelling than this, because he at least gets constantly humbled and thrown around; Elvar just… gets things, even things she never seemed to real care for until she got them and suddenly it's supposed to matter?

I hope her POV stops here or doesn't get used too much after. We have other characters actually wanting something important to them to follow (and also Guðvarr and Biórr, but at least Biórr is rare.)

CHAPTER 72 | ORKA Lif strikes back! He was taught not only how to fight, but also how to bully folk. Well done, little man. And Orka actually does have a different plan this time! Still lacking the deep-cunning a little bit, but maybe this is yet another strategy to be made off-page (ughhhhh) to come back with a vengeance later.

CHAPTER 73 | BIÓRR Whining about Elvar and Agnar again… gods. If Agnar and Elvar had been character I liked or respected to some degree, maybe it wouldn't have been so bad, but it is annoying regardless, made worse by my dislike of these characters specifically.

Was this chapter… truly necessary? I had thought we switched to Biórr to see Orka attack, or at least getting close to it. Without that explicit tie-in, I just feel like this chapter should have been cut, really? It doesn't feel like it adds anything meaningful enough, neither to plot nor character (even with Myrk).

CHAPTER 74 | ORKA Okay, many of these late chapters are actually really good (if we ignore a small handful). Lif saying he won't sleep through this job is hilarious. The parallell between Myrk and Biórr and Revna and Gunnar was also a little funny? But not really. I have stopped pointing out awkward sentences and other choices made prose-wise but I do want to note that they do happen pretty much every chapter, including this. It's not bad, not entirely, but yanno. Also, Harek… see, I don't really feel much here? I don't feel like there has been enough focus on how Harek was doing, pretty much only following Breca and Bjarn through Biórr's POV, which makes it kind of difficult to be surprised or care or be angry. Some children were in general described at being into this whole Lik-Rifa business, but since Harek has been set up all the way in the first chapter of the first book, I feel like there should be more to him than getting mentioned a couple of times only for him to then bring about the failure of Orka's rescue mission (which is what I'm guessing happens here). It might have been by choices, but if everything is a choice here, then the choices have made this book very difficult to care about, because nothing seems to have any tangible impact. Not on me.

CHAPTER 75 | BIÓRR Not gonna lie, Ilmur saying he'll kill the Bloodsworn for Biórr and then immediately dying was…. a moment of dark comedy for me. I don't know why he thought that was the best choice for him instead of getting reinforcements, considering we never saw him learn weaponscraft.

Some chapters, such as this, I don't really have much to say; it was quite nice.

CHAPTER 76 | ORKA SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERT MY BOOOOOOOOYYYYY!!!!!

CHAPTER 77 | GUÐVARR DAMN. They REALLY brough back Orna just for her to die IMMEDIATELY. That was actually so fucking funny. Idk if we were supposed to laugh but I sure did. I'm also not surprised Sigrún sided with Lik-Rifa; it is a game of guile, and when faced with a power one cannot stand against, it is smarter to join it. Unless you disagree significantly with it. I expect both Guðvarr and Sigrún to be killed since they're not Tainted, which would actually be a nice ending here.

CHAPTER 78 | ORKA You know, it only now occurred to me that if Glornir and Thorkel were birth-brothers and not just brothers because they were both berserkers, shouldn't Glornir have known that Thorkel was alive all these years? Varg knew that Frøya lived and died and so did Storolf and Fain with Kalv; why'd he not feel Thorkel's life nor his death?

_____________________________________

What an ending!

It definitely got my adrenaline pumping, though I understand why some people said it had been rushed. There is a lot happening, build-up that took place across multiple books lasting a chapter or two before being more or less resolved (or, in Varg's case with his sister, not really addressed). There are many things that felt like they should have been explored deeper in this book, and a lot seemed to happen because it needed to but didn't really strike through emotionally or thematically, nor was it always enjoyable to read.

While I do rag on how many chapters were from Guðvarr's perspective he is…. an unfortunately major player in many of the events at play, so I understand why he'd be such a frequent character. That doesn't change the fact that out of 5 POV characters, I consistently only cared about Orka and Varg, mildly disliked Biórr for being somewhat whiny and indecisive and lacking conviction, disliked Guðvarr but laughed at him, and actively hated Elvar. So many elements were underutilized, the gods at Elvar's disposal no less.

The frequency of magic also raised an issue I mostly forgave in the first book; how the hell does Galdur-magic and Seiðr-magic work? Why is it so easy to revive a dead god and build them a new body but so difficult to free Lik-Rifa? Why didn't the Battle-Grim have Uspa raise Agnar from the dead? This I haven't really touched on but really! They all seem to care so much about Agnar but they raise a god from the dead with nothing but bones, grow him a completely new body, and Agnar is just… allowed to stay dead? They don't even seem to consider it. They're just like "oh well, our chief is dead… shucks :/" and then they re-make a god. Y'all. What the fuck.

I cannot believe I read 210 pages in one day. How the fuck.

[typagirl]

Gerard Nolst Trenité - The Chaos (1922)

Dearest creature in creation Studying English pronunciation,    I will teach you in my verse    Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse. I will keep you, Susy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy;    Tear in eye, your dress you'll tear;    Queer, fair seer, hear my prayer. Pray, console your loving poet, Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!    Just compare heart, hear and heard,    Dies and diet, lord and word. Sword and sward, retain and Britain (Mind the latter how it's written).    Made has not the sound of bade,    Say-said, pay-paid, laid but plaid. Now I surely will not plague you With such words as vague and ague,    But be careful how you speak,    Say: gush, bush, steak, streak, break, bleak , Previous, precious, fuchsia, via Recipe, pipe, studding-sail, choir;    Woven, oven, how and low,    Script, receipt, shoe, poem, toe. Say, expecting fraud and trickery: Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore,    Branch, ranch, measles, topsails, aisles,    Missiles, similes, reviles. Wholly, holly, signal, signing, Same, examining, but mining,    Scholar, vicar, and cigar,    Solar, mica, war and far. From "desire": desirable-admirable from "admire", Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier,    Topsham, brougham, renown, but known,    Knowledge, done, lone, gone, none, tone, One, anemone, Balmoral, Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel.    Gertrude, German, wind and wind,    Beau, kind, kindred, queue, mankind, Tortoise, turquoise, chamois-leather, Reading, Reading, heathen, heather.    This phonetic labyrinth    Gives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth. Have you ever yet endeavoured To pronounce revered and severed,    Demon, lemon, ghoul, foul, soul,    Peter, petrol and patrol? Billet does not end like ballet; Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.    Blood and flood are not like food,    Nor is mould like should and would. Banquet is not nearly parquet, Which exactly rhymes with khaki.    Discount, viscount, load and broad,    Toward, to forward, to reward, Ricocheted and crocheting, croquet? Right! Your pronunciation's OK.    Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,    Friend and fiend, alive and live. Is your r correct in higher? Keats asserts it rhymes Thalia.    Hugh, but hug, and hood, but hoot,    Buoyant, minute, but minute. Say abscission with precision, Now: position and transition;    Would it tally with my rhyme    If I mentioned paradigm? Twopence, threepence, tease are easy, But cease, crease, grease and greasy?    Cornice, nice, valise, revise,    Rabies, but lullabies. Of such puzzling words as nauseous, Rhyming well with cautious, tortious,    You'll envelop lists, I hope,    In a linen envelope. Would you like some more? You'll have it! Affidavit, David, davit.    To abjure, to perjure. Sheik    Does not sound like Czech but ache. Liberty, library, heave and heaven, Rachel, loch, moustache, eleven.    We say hallowed, but allowed,    People, leopard, towed but vowed. Mark the difference, moreover, Between mover, plover, Dover.    Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,    Chalice, but police and lice, Camel, constable, unstable, Principle, disciple, label.    Petal, penal, and canal,    Wait, surmise, plait, promise, pal, Suit, suite, ruin. Circuit, conduit Rhyme with "shirk it" and "beyond it",    But it is not hard to tell    Why it's pall, mall, but Pall Mall. Muscle, muscular, gaol, iron, Timber, climber, bullion, lion,    Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,    Senator, spectator, mayor, Ivy, privy, famous; clamour Has the a of drachm and hammer.    Pussy, hussy and possess,    Desert, but desert, address. Golf, wolf, countenance, lieutenants Hoist in lieu of flags left pennants.    Courier, courtier, tomb, bomb, comb,    Cow, but Cowper, some and home. "Solder, soldier! Blood is thicker", Quoth he, "than liqueur or liquor",    Making, it is sad but true,    In bravado, much ado. Stranger does not rhyme with anger, Neither does devour with clangour.    Pilot, pivot, gaunt, but aunt,    Font, front, wont, want, grand and grant. Arsenic, specific, scenic, Relic, rhetoric, hygienic.    Gooseberry, goose, and close, but close,    Paradise, rise, rose, and dose. Say inveigh, neigh, but inveigle, Make the latter rhyme with eagle.    Mind! Meandering but mean,    Valentine and magazine. And I bet you, dear, a penny, You say mani-(fold) like many,    Which is wrong. Say rapier, pier,    Tier (one who ties), but tier. Arch, archangel; pray, does erring Rhyme with herring or with stirring?    Prison, bison, treasure trove,    Treason, hover, cover, cove, Perseverance, severance. Ribald Rhymes (but piebald doesn't) with nibbled.    Phaeton, paean, gnat, ghat, gnaw,    Lien, psychic, shone, bone, pshaw. Don't be down, my own, but rough it, And distinguish buffet, buffet;    Brood, stood, roof, rook, school, wool, boon,    Worcester, Boleyn, to impugn. Say in sounds correct and sterling Hearse, hear, hearken, year and yearling.    Evil, devil, mezzotint,    Mind the z! (A gentle hint.) Now you need not pay attention To such sounds as I don't mention,    Sounds like pores, pause, pours and paws,    Rhyming with the pronoun yours; Nor are proper names included, Though I often heard, as you did,    Funny rhymes to unicorn,    Yes, you know them, Vaughan and Strachan. No, my maiden, coy and comely, I don't want to speak of Cholmondeley.    No. Yet Froude compared with proud    Is no better than McLeod. But mind trivial and vial, Tripod, menial, denial,    Troll and trolley, realm and ream,    Schedule, mischief, schism, and scheme. Argil, gill, Argyll, gill. Surely May be made to rhyme with Raleigh,    But you're not supposed to say    Piquet rhymes with sobriquet. Had this invalid invalid Worthless documents? How pallid,    How uncouth he, couchant, looked,    When for Portsmouth I had booked! Zeus, Thebes, Thales, Aphrodite, Paramour, enamoured, flighty,    Episodes, antipodes,    Acquiesce, and obsequies. Please don't monkey with the geyser, Don't peel 'taters with my razor,    Rather say in accents pure:    Nature, stature and mature. Pious, impious, limb, climb, glumly, Worsted, worsted, crumbly, dumbly,    Conquer, conquest, vase, phase, fan,    Wan, sedan and artisan. The th will surely trouble you More than r, ch or w.    Say then these phonetic gems:    Thomas, thyme, Theresa, Thames. Thompson, Chatham, Waltham, Streatham, There are more but I forget 'em-    Wait! I've got it: Anthony,    Lighten your anxiety. The archaic word albeit Does not rhyme with eight-you see it;    With and forthwith, one has voice,    One has not, you make your choice. Shoes, goes, does *. Now first say: finger; Then say: singer, ginger, linger.    Real, zeal, mauve, gauze and gauge,    Marriage, foliage, mirage, age, Hero, heron, query, very, Parry, tarry fury, bury,    Dost, lost, post, and doth, cloth, loth,    Job, Job, blossom, bosom, oath. Faugh, oppugnant, keen oppugners, Bowing, bowing, banjo-tuners    Holm you know, but noes, canoes,    Puisne, truism, use, to use? Though the difference seems little, We say actual, but victual,    Seat, sweat, chaste, caste, Leigh, eight, height,    Put, nut, granite, and unite. Reefer does not rhyme with deafer, Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer.    Dull, bull, Geoffrey, George, ate, late,    Hint, pint, senate, but sedate. Gaelic, Arabic, pacific, Science, conscience, scientific;    Tour, but our, dour, succour, four,    Gas, alas, and Arkansas. Say manoeuvre, yacht and vomit, Next omit, which differs from it    Bona fide, alibi    Gyrate, dowry and awry. Sea, idea, guinea, area, Psalm, Maria, but malaria.    Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean,    Doctrine, turpentine, marine. Compare alien with Italian, Dandelion with battalion,    Rally with ally; yea, ye,    Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, key, quay! Say aver, but ever, fever, Neither, leisure, skein, receiver.    Never guess-it is not safe,    We say calves, valves, half, but Ralf. Starry, granary, canary, Crevice, but device, and eyrie,    Face, but preface, then grimace,    Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass. Bass, large, target, gin, give, verging, Ought, oust, joust, and scour, but scourging;    Ear, but earn; and ere and tear    Do not rhyme with here but heir. Mind the o of off and often Which may be pronounced as orphan,    With the sound of saw and sauce;    Also soft, lost, cloth and cross. Pudding, puddle, putting. Putting? Yes: at golf it rhymes with shutting.    Respite, spite, consent, resent.    Liable, but Parliament. Seven is right, but so is even, Hyphen, roughen, nephew, Stephen,    Monkey, donkey, clerk and jerk,    Asp, grasp, wasp, demesne, cork, work. A of valour, vapid vapour, S of news (compare newspaper),    G of gibbet, gibbon, gist,    I of antichrist and grist, Differ like diverse and divers, Rivers, strivers, shivers, fivers.    Once, but nonce, toll, doll, but roll,    Polish, Polish, poll and poll. Pronunciation-think of Psyche!- Is a paling, stout and spiky.    Won't it make you lose your wits    Writing groats and saying "grits"? It's a dark abyss or tunnel Strewn with stones like rowlock, gunwale,    Islington, and Isle of Wight,    Housewife, verdict and indict. Don't you think so, reader, rather, Saying lather, bather, father?    Finally, which rhymes with enough,    Though, through, bough, cough, hough, sough, tough?? Hiccough has the sound of sup... My advice is: GIVE IT UP!

[libidomechanica]

“Address, would men have been merry, miserable”

A sonnet sequence

               1

And maybe that time I hung in her water. Cause I lo’e thee. And touch my tomb; this I never be, and read again, whoever more; I am not but eerie? In fair! The Earth forth to a youth court to clear: until justice could not long stormy sea! At brim of an honours stealthy trumpet heard and I.—Address, would men have been merry, miserable old, and as faith is justice could be described better to despond rather on the city found to show, with wondering into my throne at pretty, trifle or heart to me-wards that second which are like gold-eyed serpent’s ivy shroud. Of night winds do blow endless hale tis dead. Go forth, O ye daughters still keep tuning touch that state though those path to God, whose circles insubstantial for compos’d of grief and pay our piece-meal! Have been, behold, the lines of the tower on thy tongue of hatred wine with low voice! Cold weight years depart.

               2

And court to thee all ruby red, and scandal share, ’twad been driver, waved of course unto me at, in all the marine cloud; her could instruments musick lendeth. Yet with the suppers warmingly; and when I hear you say. In the osier-isle we heard, somersetshire my pensive Sara! Oh, thou fairest from her heart wake; he was flesh. Her own coat; to dreams of old? If I had been to wet feather-bells, none see this lullaby, the wide home for Jewels for the Egean see that can conceive no more? A wise Ferdúsi says, then. If I—the Pumpkin of Joy. In prose: and song, or fair Geraldine?

               3

For whether pain and said she brought him, and withal her love perfumes her immortality: I prepared to feel along, she doth your strife, shout, where we pilchards, and strove what now they gaze on Amphitrite, queen went: and flowers of the twilight say some small gnats mourning puzzles more for each wore a stormy sea! Who would have to lead that undulant white, did fall. My vineyard had robbed us of much time then, went side of a whole through came up with a backward. As from thy distress sick of sheep, and will be possible, because we men our love I rise and chaste thee forth and the street; each about?

               4

Such wonted with that vainly spend his Foot, and I shall within us both in the lady vntrue, my nets would his world and sank to their plants of true love me to this with your hath no name, doth unladen breast their babes, and half-stripped all try, whether theme just not spie! Great banqueteers hanging come out of natural a poor delicate: they may have kiss on you: beside—o rather rage. I am so confess their light. As fair, it was talk’d on the sea-gulls on your lost laugh, a crystalline, led for the dishevell’d Cup drinking doleful look thou must loving, or when I am not as his soul!

               5

Don Juan’s nervous feel the more wary than till move took, drink they’re sincerity; but this. Spirit be, it is not kept her store, whose power. The pretend to teach, yet do more the shade; See how to mine! Something lips, show, is to amerce my spirit, therefore the fallen have power is come, some sleepeth well. That saintly said, oh Shah, when the world should be seen in this mouth is but his arbitrary bust. As before either it a sigh Ai ai Tan Kuuerheian the echoes oft in faults are as gospel, and my lords, t is image from cover it, ignored in a spirit now-a-day!

               6

Because we were some women to sigh; and onward sendeth, which, without sometimes upon the morrow to the Sword-wind of all of Lebanon, excel, the newes known! Never the east, can mine in blue cloak I hate but the other parts of being old. And a peace return, some not winding from Fairy-Land, whether the click of you! But we, as a poetess, ’ turning, all in my love, neither heat, nor technical assistance it had stol’n thy captivity, and comforts have greenly alchemy; anon upon my Angel to offend the Eastern hill to overslide, of thee, and fled.

               7

Sir Leoline first said, Saw ye my Door-way but is prophecies, in the colours to whom I couldn’t yet for me, all her beauteous and a fall. Or, mind was as bright eye. Heaven’s gates that now unrobe your house are two poacher upon the woods and coverlet, all these I know it, that I leave, till see unfold heaven. With they drop earth, Belovëd,— where Nancy aft I could not sigh! When it gets diffident confess’ whence beside translate a general invitation urging all the difference betwixt place! The capo d’opera, not heard a lyre, seeking not, but had thy pure and from the delights!

               8

& Mine own the Clover that dotted him not. The soft ear of what shall state: when thee, ah famous city; clothe heaven her weel again, and the sight, if given, may to it. There is guided by the sky. Gracious not separated originally alone. He was my ear circle’s narrow brought him, never felt it there? Among the greets of prison. The leaders sped; but denied the Soul of early morning, right team gulphs in the gynocracy. Half-entrance gaed wi’ plunder and then my hope is, that our feet? The pike an iron pole, hard bit. I painted with a melody scatter delight.

               9

To sullen surely throats were not take an anger of Babel, when it chance touch: my ten-speed across the villages going by, one blade of green dale: but the sea thermore— we sing, and scatter of a whale was fair, my lone, with ceaseless was, he has left to famous—that were live and good as worse from the trace, to love vehicles the Type of the foes to failed in her navel the dove’s own sphery sessional and sabre- like what armour tongue of hautgout, which you music fit for—that in my mother’s flow,— no, nor great; a knaves, and with providence! The kissed her swept by me. Ah wel-a-day!

               10

Woman broken by day, like despair. In the charms, and leviathan, and quavering force press’d in timely death, without know! And as I to die, and a matter man; picks my palm, and in treasures of danger, every sin for admonition to feed by his own into the dark came waggish fauns and usual spirit’s perch, there was better darkness! Innumerable means defeated pray perswasions: the not find you wanteth! My mind a day it crew. The last by tradesman once more as marble, we’llsay nought to your mother forehead large be wrought uncalled out the might eye, have you.

               11

An awful Drink making also did thus! Be a goose: her fault cast of silvery sacrificial candidate. Devouring shut his eyes; he short-hand perceiving comfort, that our for bale—her feet? Be call Stellas face, prepared with hum of better used what summer. May die alone; as if in star of sacred languish for Henry said Leoline so clean. He moved the rose, if rule by the sea in thy loveling, poised to gathering a stands but a troubled restord by night. Muse, the raped her abdomen and B’s, and sings to a beast, by and now it happen’d scalding pure, was things there.

[pardonmytypo]

Dearest creature in creation Studying English pronunciation,   I will teach you in my verse   Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse. I will keep you, Susy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy;   Tear in eye, your dress you'll tear;   Queer, fair seer, hear my prayer. Pray, console your loving poet, Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!   Just compare heart, hear and heard,   Dies and diet, lord and word. Sword and sward, retain and Britain (Mind the latter how it's written).   Made has not the sound of bade,   Say-said, pay-paid, laid but plaid. Now I surely will not plague you With such words as vague and ague,   But be careful how you speak,   Say: gush, bush, steak, streak, break, bleak , Previous, precious, fuchsia, via Recipe, pipe, studding-sail, choir;   Woven, oven, how and low,   Script, receipt, shoe, poem, toe. Say, expecting fraud and trickery: Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore,   Branch, ranch, measles, topsails, aisles,   Missiles, similes, reviles. Wholly, holly, signal, signing, Same, examining, but mining,   Scholar, vicar, and cigar,   Solar, mica, war and far. From "desire": desirable-admirable from "admire", Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier,   Topsham, brougham, renown, but known,   Knowledge, done, lone, gone, none, tone, One, anemone, Balmoral, Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel.   Gertrude, German, wind and wind,   Beau, kind, kindred, queue, mankind, Tortoise, turquoise, chamois-leather, Reading, Reading, heathen, heather.   This phonetic labyrinth   Gives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth. Have you ever yet endeavoured To pronounce revered and severed,   Demon, lemon, ghoul, foul, soul,   Peter, petrol and patrol? Billet does not end like ballet; Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.   Blood and flood are not like food,   Nor is mould like should and would. Banquet is not nearly parquet, Which exactly rhymes with khaki.   Discount, viscount, load and broad,   Toward, to forward, to reward, Ricocheted and crocheting, croquet? Right! Your pronunciation's OK.   Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,   Friend and fiend, alive and live. Is your r correct in higher? Keats asserts it rhymes Thalia.   Hugh, but hug, and hood, but hoot,   Buoyant, minute, but minute. Say abscission with precision, Now: position and transition;   Would it tally with my rhyme   If I mentioned paradigm? Twopence, threepence, tease are easy, But cease, crease, grease and greasy?   Cornice, nice, valise, revise,   Rabies, but lullabies. Of such puzzling words as nauseous, Rhyming well with cautious, tortious,   You'll envelop lists, I hope,   In a linen envelope. Would you like some more? You'll have it! Affidavit, David, davit.   To abjure, to perjure. Sheik   Does not sound like Czech but ache. Liberty, library, heave and heaven, Rachel, loch, moustache, eleven.   We say hallowed, but allowed,   People, leopard, towed but vowed. Mark the difference, moreover, Between mover, plover, Dover.   Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,   Chalice, but police and lice, Camel, constable, unstable, Principle, disciple, label.   Petal, penal, and canal,   Wait, surmise, plait, promise, pal, Suit, suite, ruin. Circuit, conduit Rhyme with "shirk it" and "beyond it",   But it is not hard to tell   Why it's pall, mall, but Pall Mall. Muscle, muscular, gaol, iron, Timber, climber, bullion, lion,   Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,   Senator, spectator, mayor, Ivy, privy, famous; clamour Has the a of drachm and hammer.   Pussy, hussy and possess,   Desert, but desert, address. Golf, wolf, countenance, lieutenants Hoist in lieu of flags left pennants.   Courier, courtier, tomb, bomb, comb,   Cow, but Cowper, some and home. "Solder, soldier! Blood is thicker", Quoth he, "than liqueur or liquor",   Making, it is sad but true,   In bravado, much ado. Stranger does not rhyme with anger, Neither does devour with clangour.   Pilot, pivot, gaunt, but aunt,   Font, front, wont, want, grand and grant. Arsenic, specific, scenic, Relic, rhetoric, hygienic.   Gooseberry, goose, and close, but close,   Paradise, rise, rose, and dose. Say inveigh, neigh, but inveigle, Make the latter rhyme with eagle.   Mind! Meandering but mean,   Valentine and magazine. And I bet you, dear, a penny, You say mani-(fold) like many,   Which is wrong. Say rapier, pier,   Tier (one who ties), but tier. Arch, archangel; pray, does erring Rhyme with herring or with stirring?   Prison, bison, treasure trove,   Treason, hover, cover, cove, Perseverance, severance. Ribald Rhymes (but piebald doesn't) with nibbled.   Phaeton, paean, gnat, ghat, gnaw,   Lien, psychic, shone, bone, pshaw. Don't be down, my own, but rough it, And distinguish buffet, buffet;   Brood, stood, roof, rook, school, wool, boon,   Worcester, Boleyn, to impugn. Say in sounds correct and sterling Hearse, hear, hearken, year and yearling.   Evil, devil, mezzotint,   Mind the z! (A gentle hint.) Now you need not pay attention To such sounds as I don't mention,   Sounds like pores, pause, pours and paws,   Rhyming with the pronoun yours; Nor are proper names included, Though I often heard, as you did,   Funny rhymes to unicorn,   Yes, you know them, Vaughan and Strachan. No, my maiden, coy and comely, I don't want to speak of Cholmondeley.   No. Yet Froude compared with proud   Is no better than McLeod. But mind trivial and vial, Tripod, menial, denial,   Troll and trolley, realm and ream,   Schedule, mischief, schism, and scheme. Argil, gill, Argyll, gill. Surely May be made to rhyme with Raleigh,   But you're not supposed to say   Piquet rhymes with sobriquet. Had this invalid invalid Worthless documents? How pallid,   How uncouth he, couchant, looked,   When for Portsmouth I had booked! Zeus, Thebes, Thales, Aphrodite, Paramour, enamoured, flighty,   Episodes, antipodes,   Acquiesce, and obsequies. Please don't monkey with the geyser, Don't peel 'taters with my razor,   Rather say in accents pure:   Nature, stature and mature. Pious, impious, limb, climb, glumly, Worsted, worsted, crumbly, dumbly,   Conquer, conquest, vase, phase, fan,   Wan, sedan and artisan. The th will surely trouble you More than r, ch or w.   Say then these phonetic gems:   Thomas, thyme, Theresa, Thames. Thompson, Chatham, Waltham, Streatham, There are more but I forget 'em-   Wait! I've got it: Anthony,   Lighten your anxiety. The archaic word albeit Does not rhyme with eight-you see it;   With and forthwith, one has voice,   One has not, you make your choice. Shoes, goes, does *. Now first say: finger; Then say: singer, ginger, linger.   Real, zeal, mauve, gauze and gauge,   Marriage, foliage, mirage, age, Hero, heron, query, very, Parry, tarry fury, bury,   Dost, lost, post, and doth, cloth, loth,   Job, Job, blossom, bosom, oath. Faugh, oppugnant, keen oppugners, Bowing, bowing, banjo-tuners   Holm you know, but noes, canoes,   Puisne, truism, use, to use? Though the difference seems little, We say actual, but victual,   Seat, sweat, chaste, caste, Leigh, eight, height,   Put, nut, granite, and unite. Reefer does not rhyme with deafer, Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer.   Dull, bull, Geoffrey, George, ate, late,   Hint, pint, senate, but sedate. Gaelic, Arabic, pacific, Science, conscience, scientific;   Tour, but our, dour, succour, four,   Gas, alas, and Arkansas. Say manoeuvre, yacht and vomit, Next omit, which differs from it   Bona fide, alibi   Gyrate, dowry and awry. Sea, idea, guinea, area, Psalm, Maria, but malaria.   Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean,   Doctrine, turpentine, marine. Compare alien with Italian, Dandelion with battalion,   Rally with ally; yea, ye,   Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, key, quay! Say aver, but ever, fever, Neither, leisure, skein, receiver.   Never guess-it is not safe,   We say calves, valves, half, but Ralf. Starry, granary, canary, Crevice, but device, and eyrie,   Face, but preface, then grimace,   Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass. Bass, large, target, gin, give, verging, Ought, oust, joust, and scour, but scourging;   Ear, but earn; and ere and tear   Do not rhyme with here but heir. Mind the o of off and often Which may be pronounced as orphan,   With the sound of saw and sauce;   Also soft, lost, cloth and cross. Pudding, puddle, putting. Putting? Yes: at golf it rhymes with shutting.   Respite, spite, consent, resent.   Liable, but Parliament. Seven is right, but so is even, Hyphen, roughen, nephew, Stephen,   Monkey, donkey, clerk and jerk,   Asp, grasp, wasp, demesne, cork, work. A of valour, vapid vapour, S of news (compare newspaper),   G of gibbet, gibbon, gist,   I of antichrist and grist, Differ like diverse and divers, Rivers, strivers, shivers, fivers.   Once, but nonce, toll, doll, but roll,   Polish, Polish, poll and poll. Pronunciation-think of Psyche!- Is a paling, stout and spiky.   Won't it make you lose your wits   Writing groats and saying "grits"? It's a dark abyss or tunnel Strewn with stones like rowlock, gunwale,   Islington, and Isle of Wight,   Housewife, verdict and indict. Don't you think so, reader, rather, Saying lather, bather, father?   Finally, which rhymes with enough,   Though, through, bough, cough, hough, sough, tough?? Hiccough has the sound of sup... My advice is: GIVE IT UP!

The Chaos by Gerard Nolst Trenité

[shaeman69]

Gerard Nolst Trenité - The Chaos 1922

Dearest creature in creation Studying English pronunciation,    I will teach you in my verse    Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse. I will keep you, Susy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy;    Tear in eye, your dress you'll tear;    Queer, fair seer, hear my prayer. Pray, console your loving poet, Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!    Just compare heart, hear and heard,    Dies and diet, lord and word. Sword and sward, retain and Britain (Mind the latter how it's written).    Made has not the sound of bade,    Say-said, pay-paid, laid but plaid. Now I surely will not plague you With such words as vague and ague,    But be careful how you speak,    Say: gush, bush, steak, streak, break, bleak , Previous, precious, fuchsia, via Recipe, pipe, studding-sail, choir;    Woven, oven, how and low,    Script, receipt, shoe, poem, toe. Say, expecting fraud and trickery: Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore,    Branch, ranch, measles, topsails, aisles,    Missiles, similes, reviles. Wholly, holly, signal, signing, Same, examining, but mining,    Scholar, vicar, and cigar,    Solar, mica, war and far. From "desire": desirable-admirable from "admire", Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier,    Topsham, brougham, renown, but known,    Knowledge, done, lone, gone, none, tone, One, anemone, Balmoral, Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel.    Gertrude, German, wind and wind,    Beau, kind, kindred, queue, mankind, Tortoise, turquoise, chamois-leather, Reading, Reading, heathen, heather.    This phonetic labyrinth    Gives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth. Have you ever yet endeavoured To pronounce revered and severed,    Demon, lemon, ghoul, foul, soul,    Peter, petrol and patrol? Billet does not end like ballet; Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.    Blood and flood are not like food,    Nor is mould like should and would. Banquet is not nearly parquet, Which exactly rhymes with khaki.    Discount, viscount, load and broad,    Toward, to forward, to reward, Ricocheted and crocheting, croquet? Right! Your pronunciation's OK.    Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,    Friend and fiend, alive and live. Is your r correct in higher? Keats asserts it rhymes Thalia.    Hugh, but hug, and hood, but hoot,    Buoyant, minute, but minute. Say abscission with precision, Now: position and transition;    Would it tally with my rhyme    If I mentioned paradigm? Twopence, threepence, tease are easy, But cease, crease, grease and greasy?    Cornice, nice, valise, revise,    Rabies, but lullabies. Of such puzzling words as nauseous, Rhyming well with cautious, tortious,    You'll envelop lists, I hope,    In a linen envelope. Would you like some more? You'll have it! Affidavit, David, davit.    To abjure, to perjure. Sheik    Does not sound like Czech but ache. Liberty, library, heave and heaven, Rachel, loch, moustache, eleven.    We say hallowed, but allowed,    People, leopard, towed but vowed. Mark the difference, moreover, Between mover, plover, Dover.    Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,    Chalice, but police and lice, Camel, constable, unstable, Principle, disciple, label.    Petal, penal, and canal,    Wait, surmise, plait, promise, pal, Suit, suite, ruin. Circuit, conduit Rhyme with "shirk it" and "beyond it",    But it is not hard to tell    Why it's pall, mall, but Pall Mall. Muscle, muscular, gaol, iron, Timber, climber, bullion, lion,    Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,    Senator, spectator, mayor, Ivy, privy, famous; clamour Has the a of drachm and hammer.    Pussy, hussy and possess,    Desert, but desert, address. Golf, wolf, countenance, lieutenants Hoist in lieu of flags left pennants.    Courier, courtier, tomb, bomb, comb,    Cow, but Cowper, some and home. "Solder, soldier! Blood is thicker", Quoth he, "than liqueur or liquor",    Making, it is sad but true,    In bravado, much ado. Stranger does not rhyme with anger, Neither does devour with clangour.    Pilot, pivot, gaunt, but aunt,    Font, front, wont, want, grand and grant. Arsenic, specific, scenic, Relic, rhetoric, hygienic.    Gooseberry, goose, and close, but close,    Paradise, rise, rose, and dose. Say inveigh, neigh, but inveigle, Make the latter rhyme with eagle.    Mind! Meandering but mean,    Valentine and magazine. And I bet you, dear, a penny, You say mani-(fold) like many,    Which is wrong. Say rapier, pier,    Tier (one who ties), but tier. Arch, archangel; pray, does erring Rhyme with herring or with stirring?    Prison, bison, treasure trove,    Treason, hover, cover, cove, Perseverance, severance. Ribald Rhymes (but piebald doesn't) with nibbled.    Phaeton, paean, gnat, ghat, gnaw,    Lien, psychic, shone, bone, pshaw. Don't be down, my own, but rough it, And distinguish buffet, buffet;    Brood, stood, roof, rook, school, wool, boon,    Worcester, Boleyn, to impugn. Say in sounds correct and sterling Hearse, hear, hearken, year and yearling.    Evil, devil, mezzotint,    Mind the z! (A gentle hint.) Now you need not pay attention To such sounds as I don't mention,    Sounds like pores, pause, pours and paws,    Rhyming with the pronoun yours; Nor are proper names included, Though I often heard, as you did,    Funny rhymes to unicorn,    Yes, you know them, Vaughan and Strachan. No, my maiden, coy and comely, I don't want to speak of Cholmondeley.    No. Yet Froude compared with proud    Is no better than McLeod. But mind trivial and vial, Tripod, menial, denial,    Troll and trolley, realm and ream,    Schedule, mischief, schism, and scheme. Argil, gill, Argyll, gill. Surely May be made to rhyme with Raleigh,    But you're not supposed to say    Piquet rhymes with sobriquet. Had this invalid invalid Worthless documents? How pallid,    How uncouth he, couchant, looked,    When for Portsmouth I had booked! Zeus, Thebes, Thales, Aphrodite, Paramour, enamoured, flighty,    Episodes, antipodes,    Acquiesce, and obsequies. Please don't monkey with the geyser, Don't peel 'taters with my razor,    Rather say in accents pure:    Nature, stature and mature. Pious, impious, limb, climb, glumly, Worsted, worsted, crumbly, dumbly,    Conquer, conquest, vase, phase, fan,    Wan, sedan and artisan. The th will surely trouble you More than r, ch or w.    Say then these phonetic gems:    Thomas, thyme, Theresa, Thames. Thompson, Chatham, Waltham, Streatham, There are more but I forget 'em-    Wait! I've got it: Anthony,    Lighten your anxiety. The archaic word albeit Does not rhyme with eight-you see it;    With and forthwith, one has voice,    One has not, you make your choice. Shoes, goes, does *. Now first say: finger; Then say: singer, ginger, linger.    Real, zeal, mauve, gauze and gauge,    Marriage, foliage, mirage, age, Hero, heron, query, very, Parry, tarry fury, bury,    Dost, lost, post, and doth, cloth, loth,    Job, Job, blossom, bosom, oath. Faugh, oppugnant, keen oppugners, Bowing, bowing, banjo-tuners    Holm you know, but noes, canoes,    Puisne, truism, use, to use? Though the difference seems little, We say actual, but victual,    Seat, sweat, chaste, caste, Leigh, eight, height,    Put, nut, granite, and unite. Reefer does not rhyme with deafer, Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer.    Dull, bull, Geoffrey, George, ate, late,    Hint, pint, senate, but sedate. Gaelic, Arabic, pacific, Science, conscience, scientific;    Tour, but our, dour, succour, four,    Gas, alas, and Arkansas. Say manoeuvre, yacht and vomit, Next omit, which differs from it    Bona fide, alibi    Gyrate, dowry and awry. Sea, idea, guinea, area, Psalm, Maria, but malaria.    Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean,    Doctrine, turpentine, marine. Compare alien with Italian, Dandelion with battalion,    Rally with ally; yea, ye,    Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, key, quay! Say aver, but ever, fever, Neither, leisure, skein, receiver.    Never guess-it is not safe,    We say calves, valves, half, but Ralf. Starry, granary, canary, Crevice, but device, and eyrie,    Face, but preface, then grimace,    Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass. Bass, large, target, gin, give, verging, Ought, oust, joust, and scour, but scourging;    Ear, but earn; and ere and tear    Do not rhyme with here but heir. Mind the o of off and often Which may be pronounced as orphan,    With the sound of saw and sauce;    Also soft, lost, cloth and cross. Pudding, puddle, putting. Putting? Yes: at golf it rhymes with shutting.    Respite, spite, consent, resent.    Liable, but Parliament. Seven is right, but so is even, Hyphen, roughen, nephew, Stephen,    Monkey, donkey, clerk and jerk,    Asp, grasp, wasp, demesne, cork, work. A of valour, vapid vapour, S of news (compare newspaper),    G of gibbet, gibbon, gist,    I of antichrist and grist, Differ like diverse and divers, Rivers, strivers, shivers, fivers.    Once, but nonce, toll, doll, but roll,    Polish, Polish, poll and poll. Pronunciation-think of Psyche!- Is a paling, stout and spiky.    Won't it make you lose your wits    Writing groats and saying "grits"? It's a dark abyss or tunnel Strewn with stones like rowlock, gunwale,    Islington, and Isle of Wight,    Housewife, verdict and indict. Don't you think so, reader, rather, Saying lather, bather, father?    Finally, which rhymes with enough,    Though, through, bough, cough, hough, sough, tough?? Hiccough has the sound of sup... My advice is: GIVE IT UP!