#the good thing is this does not apply to sam. haha just kidding but also

[allexteriordark]

oh there are just so many factors. it's a long fucking show with different writers and their different visions so of course but besides that, too.. you've got the big sibling and little sibling roles that people could relate to, that could make them feel much closer to one brother than the other but i'm a big sister and i always felt like i could relate to sam (and very rarely to dean. only in certain moments). i'll say why a bit later.... i was often mad at dean, even, for being a shitty big brother while i was watching the show lol like i was personally offended every time the narrative suggested dean's,, always doing things for sam's benefit and his ideas are always right while sam's have to be shut down etc, sam gets punished and dean gets rewarded narratively and i think if someone doesn't see how unfair dean is and how unfair the show is to sam, that's... probably not good, not saying very good things about that someone?.. :( you know? like you can love dean to death but you've gotta admit there's an imbalance in their dynamic, you could say in power. my whole childhood and adolescence i had to watch my father abuse my mother and i was her only friend and confidante and so i'm.. i feel like that's why i'm very sensitive to abusive behavior and always drawn to characters that are family members and also an abuser and a victim. this part of their dynamic is integral to my enjoyment. and i can't help but feel a connection with and affection for the character that gets beaten down

there's others things of course that sam has going for him lol like the demon blood/psychic powers/vessel of lucifer thing; as a kid i hated myself deeply, powerfully, i always felt like i'm just broken or defected or rotten inside and i can't be fixed, that i can try to do the right things but my nature will show and it'll steer my life. you see how that would translate to relating to sam and his struggles. also, while i love the sam-dean relationship the most and i'm most compelled by the two of them together, in my opinion the best things about dean are sam and john while sam's.. interesting on his own... because of his relationship with religion and with his own nature and his humanity. and i like sam more on a surface level too, liked him from the first moment. he's softer, better with people in certain aspects (like emotions.. he's more empathetic ig, or communicates better, and i really appreciate that in men because i didn't see much of it in my life haha). sam knows nuance when it comes to the supernatural, dean barely, although they're both hunters and i shan't elaborate but that's already not so good. lol! just saying that so as not to give too much credit to sam. i just appreciate that 'kills supernatural beings with a consciousness indiscriminately' applies to him less lol.... plus i just don't find dean funny or endearing 😔 sorry, part of it is definitely me having something against jensen ackles's acting but i'm kind of digressing

hmm so yeah these are the first things i thought of, i see sam as a better person than dean, i understand his motivations as less selfish, the unfair treatment he's subjected to increases my sympathy and compassion for him, while dean as a character disappoints me many times throughout the story (i don't see many of these positive characteristics dean girls describe tbh. i still love dean but jesus does he make it hard 🥴). sam's the antichrist, the tragic hero, the battered wife later on, he's very interesting to me

[mummer]

ppl who unconditionally think tyrion and dany and even jon are gonna have unexamined pure heroic arcs ending in happiness family and self love, and that for them NOT to have this would be some sort of unexpected insult to the characters...... guys..... like......... im so sorry...........

[hopefullystillatheatrestudent]

this might be a weird thought but the way jensen performs masculinity (and i KNOW it’s a performance cause like, have you SEEN the mockumentary?) is just.... so inherently queer to me lmao

ok. okokokokokok. you asked for this. i have a LOT of thoughts on this. it’s gonna be under a cut because i’m gonna be annoying and psychoanalyse a celebrity i’ve never met(and hope i never do) but trust and believe when i tell you i know what i’m talking about so

you want my opinion? here goes. there is absolutely no way jensen ackles is straight. i hear you, ‘how do you know that he’s bi? that’s invasive and creepy’ but may i counter that point by saying how do you know he’s straight???? why is the default for everyone heterosexual? that’s a toxic mentality to have; ‘oh you don’t know for sure so just treat him like he’s 100% straight just in case’ like....what? heteronormativity drives me wild i’m sorry

and also, um, just to, um, prove my point that this man is decidedly not straight™(i really don’t want to do this but like it has to be said) we KNOW he’s not straight because his d*ck has spoken for itself around misha, like, four times. I HATE SAYING IT!!!!!!! but, um, straight men don’t get aroused by men. ...do i really need to explain myself further???? that’s what i thought(and don’t give me the ‘it could have been for unrelated reasons’ or ‘that wasn’t a boner!’ crap because um good lord yes it was and misha caused every single one so no it wasn’t a coincidence i’m gonna move on before i collapse into myself like a dying star)

anyway, on to the topic at hand which is jensen and his performative masculinity. and it’s a juicy one.

after the unconscious amount of hours i’ve put into watching and subconsciously judging jackles, i have come to the conclusion that like, 90% of how he presents himself and talks and even moves is an act. it’s a facade. it’s a shield. he is not that person. it actually seems exhausting, because he tries to compose himself in this macho, manly, confident and effortlessly cool way, but he’s not that person he desperately wishes he was and wants to be perceived as. he’s on guard every second, even the slightest tilt of his head is like, pre-meditated in some way? if i’m going FULL body language analyst mode, i’ve noticed he has a certain posture he always shifts himself into, and it’s very ‘pursed lips, stoic faced, gruff voiced, square-shoulder, broad and manly’ but, not to be rude jensen, it kind of reads as a little kid imitating the adults he thinks are cool? oof i am going IN huh(it’s out of love though i promise)

he is trying to be this person at every second:

because that’s who he wishes he was, because that’s how he gets validation from the people around him that he looks up to; straight white guys. but to me, who he presents himself to be at conventions is just as much of a performance as this whole eye of the tiger bit is.

oh i should mention i know his body language isn’t naturally like that because how he naturally carries himself is actually pretty flamboyant? like he seriously must be toning himself down HARD

examples:

there’s no tension in his body here as opposed to the eye of the tiger gif. i’d describe it as...generally loose and free? he’s at ease when he moves like that and you can see it.

oh and dude!!! DUDE!!!! how could i not mention the fucking SPECTACLE that is his voice??? jensen. i watched season one. i know where your voice naturally sits. THAT IS NOT WHAT YOU SOUND LIKE. and there have been so many accounts of fans visiting jensen in his trailer and being surprised that his real voice is two octaves higher. again, his performance of masculinity is all encompassing. he can’t even talk normally because, in his mind, that’s a chink in his armour.

and, like you said, anon, this whole smokes-and-mirrors gong show of ‘i am the cool texan man’ is inherently queer. who are you trying to impress??? guys??? that’s pretty gay dude.(btw: gay[honorary])

i feel like i’ve already read this man for filth but i have to keep going bc i have so much to say

ok next thing i’m gonna talk about is how jensen says one thing but everything else about him tells us the exact opposite. another HUGE element of performative masculinity, ONE THAT DEAN WINCHESTER IS A MASTER OF. have i mentioned how dean and jensen are like mirrors of each other when it comes to their sexuality and queer identity??? because it is fascinating how everything i say about jensen also directly applies to dean.

allow me to introduce the grumpy face™. as in, the face he glues on when he’s enjoying doing something but doesn’t want to let anyone know it. and it’s ALWAYS when he’s doing something that could be seen as unmanly in any way. (and when i say manly i mean the ‘ideal’ version of manhood that doesn’t really exist but that jensen seems to be striving for[and dean too])

prime example is this video he did with daneel. the grumpy face™ doesn’t budge the whole time as he’s like,,,,playing an instrument and acting like he doesn’t want to bc i guess that’s too girly??? but i also find this video fascinating because the joke IN it is kind of that they’re both poking fun at him for being so insecure about playing a freaking flute. because, i mean, he gets into it, but he wants you to think he is not.

also this picture.

what is this. i hate them. jensen is smushing himself into misha’s forehead but noooo his face is telling us ‘i hate this’ because CLEARLY he does. also misha’s so happy ew gross

he does that face in photo ops with misha ALL THE TIME but how many times has he also literally asked the con goers if he can also have those photos on his phone too? because of course he actually loves touching misha and is actually a sentimental fool but he tries so hard to hide it and fails so spectacularly.

oh and this. and of COURSE this. actually let’s talk about the hitch kiss for a hot minute because it’s a perfect example of exactly what i’m talking about

(he is so transparent guys. he tries so hard but he’s so obvious.)

1. misha was never supposed to be onstage with him. so it’s a boldface LIE and OBVIOUS PLOY TO GET MISHA TO KISS HIM when he says ‘they’d like us to make out now’. but of course the way he says it is ‘oh my god can you believe what these crazy panel people are making us do haha but i mean what they say goes amirite’. same energy as ‘oh my god did you just dare us to kiss rn???’ ‘....no i didn’t’ ‘oh my god i can’t believe you’d ask that haha but i can’t say no to a dare lol’ it’s the SAME THING

2. the fact that he was in the worst mood before misha came onstage and FAKE KISSING HIM made him feel...SO?? much better? like not just a little better a lot better like, again, that says a lot, because if they weren’t dating he would not be in a better mood if misha kissed his cheek unprompted. bc that cheek kiss wasn’t a joke it was a genuine sign of affection and AHHHH

3. after the kiss happens. you know, the one that jensen actively leans into and is smiling like an idiot the whole time through and is quite clearly having the time of his life during....he says ‘well, that was uncomfortable’. .......my guy. um. i don’t know how to tell you that i do in fact have eyes and you are NOT pulling the fast one you think you are

like i’m so sorry jensen but i have you pegged. it’s literally no use.

god there’s so many instances of him doing this with misha specifically. the whole ‘ew gross lol’ but then everything about him tells us the exact opposite. like this(i hate this. how dare he say ‘he has though, hasn’t he?’ LIKE THAT?????)

so yeah my point with that is he really wants us to think he is one thing when he is the antithesis of what he’s trying to be. he really likes those things that he talks down about, and everything he’s loudly projecting is all to hide how he really feels. he went to a gay bar with daneel, for crying out loud. he wants to play a role in drag. he’s queer and he likes it. pov: you’re jensen ackles train of thought: ‘ok so i really like this thing that people might make fun of me for or call me gay for liking so if i just say ‘lol as if’ and make a grossed-out face they will be FOOLED. i am a genius. hey misha wanna blow on my ear lol i meAN GROSS EW’

i have two more things i want to talk about when it comes to this topic so PLEASE bear with me anon this is why you took so long to answer clearly lmao

ok so we’re now going to go over my favorite hot take of all time. which is ‘how do we know dean’s performing masculinity? because sam isn’t.’ only replace dean with jensen and sam with jared and oh my god do we ever have a case

jared is as STRAIGHT as they come. he is secure in that knowledge. and that’s why he is perfectly comfortable treating misha like this:

and not try to scream ‘i am not enjoying doing this!!!!!!’ at us. because he doesn’t care what we think of his sexuality like jensen does(because he has nothing to hide whereas jensen DOES)

something i found the other day that no one has brought up but i SCREAMED upon finding it is this one clip THAT I CAN’T FIND OH GOD but i promise i’m not making it up. i can’t believe i can’t find it guys it is gold. i need need NEED to talk about it. and if anyone knows what i’m referencing and can apply links in any way i will love you forever but here’s what happens off the top of my head:

ok so i’m a bit too braindead to explain it perfectly but um basically it’s a j2 panel and someone brings up magic mike and i think jared says ‘yeah i didn’t watch it’ and then jensen says ‘all the way through’. stupid joke. whatever. the joke is that jared is gay for watching magic mike.

and then i literally kid you not. jared gets this like ‘jesus christ ok dude? lol’ look on his face and then goes ‘projecting much, mr. ackles?’ and jensen gets a guilty look on his face and walks away. and jared did not say it as a joke. he was being dead pan and earnest. and jensen knew it too, he knew he was projecting. i wish i could show you guys the clip i promise if i ever find it i’ll link it but IS THAT NOT SO DAMNING FOR JENSEN????? like come ON. also proves my point that when you compare how they feel about watching magic mike. jared doesn’t care bc watching it just doesn’t interest him, but he also thinks that just watching it in itself doesn’t make you gay. jensen however.......has a different mindset, clearly.

‘projecting much, mr. ackles?’ is actually a great title for my next and FINAL section(we’re almost there folks) which is how jensen projects his insecurites about his own sexuality and relationship with misha onto misha.

i hope by now we’ve all seen this video of jensen impersonating cas. it is a blatant microaggression on his part. and like obviously homophobic. it’s like in his mind if he makes fun of them for being gay it makes them both less gay somehow??? it’s self-deprecation in a way??? let’s just tell it like it is: that impression was just jensen’s overt internalized homophobia rearing it’s ugly head. he does it a LOT too when it comes to misha.

i mean:

and that whole mess where he’s making fun of misha for being a bottom in their panel in 2016? ‘so you’re saying, like with football terms, there’s a handler and there’s a receiver heheheehe’ jensen you’re not exempt from being gay just because you know football terms lmao

oh and his OTHER impression of misha where he mocks him for...bicycling...because it’s not a manly enough sport??? jensen NO ONE else has ever thought this hard in their lives about what constitutes as masculine enough to be a sport before. that’s all you bud. we don’t find those jokes nearly as funny as you do. you are reaching, sir

the good news is that misha thinks it’s hilarious and knows it’s projecting on jensen’s part and will tease him endlessly for it. many stories come to mind, like that one photo op story where they’re literally dressed in rainbow banners and pride stickers but when misha goes to hold his hand jensen said something like ‘no way’ and then misha stepped back, put his hands on his hips and went ‘that’s the part that’s too gay for you???’ and jensen LOST it

or when that whole underwear thing happened(messy messY MESSY BTW) and then a fan asked a question about what dean and cas would do in rome and misha just said ‘when in rome’ and jensen makes a face like ‘are you serious’ and then misha says ‘you can’t look at me like that anymore, because of what you did!!!!!!’

OH and that whole story about when misha suggested they put jensen in the closet for that cat video....yeah um

and then when jensen was asked to do bisexual finger guns for a photo op and the con goer said ‘he looks bisexual here’ and misha literally said ‘oh he definitely looks bisexual here. i would say he’s actually closer to the gay side of the spectrum’ so..um...make with that as you will

OH MY GOD i’m finally done. wow. WOW. that was a lot. i hope i’ve blown your minds. ty anon i really wanted to talk about this and i hope you’re happy with the outcome!!!!!!

[incarnateirony]

Hey min, I just read your last post and I was wondering you could do one on the meta-narrative hostility (that most of fandom calls queer coding) of pre-dabb era? I’m a young queer who’s new to all this and doesn’t have the same experience or knowledge as older queer people (obviously) when it comes to these things. Only if you want to/and are able to though, it’s something I’d really like to read and educate myself on, thanks :)

Sure! I’ll get on that, I think @curioussubjects and I held a brief discourse over that recently, but I’m sure we could get into it deeper. I may even try to peel @thecoffeebrain-blog out of her fandom ban to talk about it too. Unfortunately it’s like 2something AM right now and I do not have the brain function to write up a whole-assed thesis on it.

But in short (which will probably still be about a page long)? I kind of want to flip a table any time I read “Dean Winchester has always been written as bisexual.” – and like. I even have friends that say that. Friends I adore. And I still want to flip tables. Because. Like. No.

Yes, Dean Winchester was based on a repressed bisexual, Dean Moriarty. The thing is knowing that about Dean Moriarty requires reading the late release manuscript, not the original. In, perhaps, an ironic statement on our current show, the widely spread original version was sanitized of queer content. But if anyone thinks Kripke was, back in S1-5, trying to make some sort of statement about repressed and sanitized queer culture, I really don’t know what to tell them beyond like. No? 

I’d need to go digging – hence not having the time right now – for a full list of early season “bi Dean” moments. A great deal of them are actively homophobic as fuck things, like in Playthings taking a shot at Dean being butch over overcompensating, or whatever else. They used the statements as an insult, something to target, and aggress, and make a joke at a character’s expense – because being gay was immasculating and funny, haha, right?

Others included things like clothing choices, food choices, or other things that like… fandom swore up and down was queer coding and like– again– generally, no? Hopefully I don’t have to explain why in most scenarios those things are problematic.

Like you’ve seen me bang on about the menthols thing for example as queer coding – and yes! It is! Because that’s actually a queer culture thing. And like, ask any gay dude, literally, if he sees another, WHITE dude pull out a pack of menthols he knows who he’s going to try to flirt up tonight. There’s all kinds of reasons that was genuine coding written from a gay man that’s even a recovered smoker to the point his colleagues made light of it. Hell of an introduction, hell of a point, and something actually relevant to the represented demographic’s culture. (this actually does not apply the same to other ethnicities, it literally only applies to white dudes, and I could stat out the very real reasons about it some time, but not in this post)

We gays DO have our own language. As my friend Kris put it, “Whenever I see a woman has a purse I give up, cuz she’s either straight or at least in that ballpark where I’m gonna have to be the husband and hahahaha no.” – unshockingly, I don’t have a purse either. My wife does. I on the other hand am fine with being metaphorical husband role. She’s a femme, I’m not, it tracks.

But someone wearing a certain color, or eating a burrito is not a judge. Someone choking on a sausage for a punch line alongside a taco is– questionable on if even intended but again, guess what, a punch line at the receiving character’s expense.

A great WEALTH of early “bi Dean” moments are like this, even if we remove Destiel. And it’s a MESS. I give some leans of “not offensive but surrounded by enough offensive content in its immediate era that I don’t give it good faith” to moments like Dr Sexy. Sure. Those lay good potential groundwork.

Are there moments where Dean turned and looked at someone in a WAY? Yeah, sure. Was that scripted? Uh, generally no. Let’s face it. Jensen could have chemistry with a decommissioned droid if they were put on screen together.

Now, do those moments, that last section there – give early room for bi Dean being evolved into? Yes. Those moments do. Because evolving with chemistry and story is part of how it works. It’s the other shit we need to flush to the pits of hell, bathe in some glitter and chant some YMCAs to cleanse ourselves from or some shit.

Hell, let’s even look at season 7 with Dean flirting with the guard. Despite bobbing and weaving around most old bi Dean content for being flagrantly offensive when I made my Coming Out video, I kept that one. But even THAT runs a line. Why? Because Sam, later painted as an educated ally, starts laughing at Dean at the sheer idea of Dean doing it. Dean tells him to shut up which blows Charlie’s cover. Is that something actual bi people might have to deal with? Sure. Hence my choice to be willing to include the clip. But it was still. A punchline. At the queer content’s expense.

If you go and re-watch, I’d say, S1-7 and stop trying the “DIG FOR PROOF IN RETROSPECT TO PROVE DEAN HAS ALWAYS BEEN BI” dance, and watch – really, REALLY watch – the way any kind of queer mention was handled. Is. Gross.

By season 8 Carver seemed to be dabbling in it – enough that Phil Sgriccia and Ben Edlund, exec producers, started leaving commentary on the season 8 DVD, such as how Jensen played it, and the potential it created for love in all places, that he and Aaron could have had a life together. Still, Carver had a LOT of shit he was fixing from holding Gamble’s burning bag. And yeah, Gamble queerbaited. She fucked over a demographic, realized the demographic she picked was wrong, tried to bait back that demographic without intent to follow through on it, then was gone. (And hell, go look at The Magicians now and her Dances With Avoiding Calling Her Characters LGBT).

Season 8 was a tipping point. Did Aaron slap down the idea of having a moment with Dean? Sure. But… guess what? It was Dean being offended by not having a moment. Not Dean being offended being accused of having a moment. This is a very subtle tone change.

Watch forward after that. There might have been a few moments. But it wasn’t until S9 they onboarded a new LGBT author. An open one. An activist. And yeah, menthols and “play it like a jilted lover” showrunner directions began. It’s like looking back, they had the idea and realized what was taking shape, but didn’t know what to do with it. And Bobo was still the new kid on block that year. That was the same year they almost made Metatron’s heaven for Castiel be covered in naked Dean pictures. Some people lament the loss of that. I do not. Because guess what. That made it a joke again. A shot at Castiel’s expense, if one more personal than the old shots. It was painted for absurdity, not authenticity. But, unlike prior eras… they had the sense to change that and paint the absurdity in other ways with dangly cheap hearts and other silliness.

Good.

As you look forward, from there, the question is after season 9– when was the last “LOL GAAAAAAAAAAAAY” joke you heard? When was the last time you heard it be framed in such a way that the audience was designated to laugh at the arrangement? Was Colette… framed as funny when Bobo wrote it? Was the heart connection… written as funny? Were the hunter husbands… written as a punch line or joke?

Sure, Lily Sunder had some funny bits, bit it’s not Funny Cuz It’s Gay, it’s funny and gay, and this is an important distinction. If that were a het couple bickering in the car that episode, we’d laugh all the same. This, also, written by a queer activist. Was the mixtape funny? No. In fact, if we’re to take, say, modern Dean and Cas as the central manifestation of the bi Dean narrative all these years later, their funny moments aren’t funny because of their gender. Their funny moments are funny because of who they are, like any given couple on TV, not in expense to their sexuality.

Even “attached at the everything” is more a fandom problem. There was no cue for that to be a laugh track. There was no recoil, no denial, no flinch, no nothing. It was just a barb of a demon in the know of the nature and depth of their bond needling where it hurt like any other relationship. It’s the fandom that chose to put a laugh track on it.

Beyond this though, I’d need to take the time to go and pick through the different individual moments and break them down and really pick apart WHY they were problematic in the old days. Hopefully this summary is a nice start.

[officialthiamlibrary]

Meet The Mods - iftheskyisthelimit

We’ve had a few requests to do something similar to our “Behind The Screens” features in order to introduce ourselves, and we felt that after around a year of running this blog, and having another few people come on board along the way that now would probably be a good time to do it! 

The idea is that we’ll each take a turn at filling out and posting one of these so that you guys can to know us all a little better including our own personal tastes/preferences and get a little bit more of an idea of how we all work and what we each bring to the team etc…

About You

Username/Name: 

iftheskyisthelimit / Lisa

AO3/Tumblr: 

https://archiveofourown.org/users/iftheskyisthelimit / http://iftheskyisthelimit.tumblr.com/ 

How did you find your way to the Thiam fandom? What about them drew you in? 

I’d lurked in the Teen Wolf fandom for a while on Tumblr, and became really interested in Theo’s character and his story since he’d shown up in Season 5 (okay at first it was his looks that got me interested… let’s be honest), which evolved into being interested in his backstory when we found out a bit more about him. It wasn’t until his return in Season 6 that I enjoyed watching their characters together and their interactions and started looking around more on Tumblr for their characters that I discovered it wasn’t just me... then I randomly came across the Thiam ship through seeing some fics on Tumblr and found the Official Thiam Library as result of that... 

Using a sentence, where the word count is either equal to or less than the number of letters in your two favorite Teen Wolf episode names, tell us about yourself. (ex, Motel California + Werewolves of London = 33 ; Raving + Galvanize =15)

Memory Found + Apotheosis = 21 - I’m slightly quirky but serious, love music, reading and travelling... kinda funny and always overly organised. Can’t ever cut something short...

What’s one thing about you or your life that we’d be surprised to know about?

Do you want serious, interesting or fun facts? I’ll do both as they might surprise people. Serious/boring: I have at least 3 chronic illnesses which tend to floor me, hence my long absences between writing & updating what I’m working on. Interesting: I can speak/read/understand around 5 languages and I’m a bit of a different cultures & sociology nerd.

One other thing I guess is when I get interested in a topic I get interested and have to know aallllll the ins and outs of it and thoroughly research it, so I’m probably full of boring random facts about a bunch of things that come in handy on general knowledge quizzes, but which no-one has any interest in knowing...

Other Shows/Movies You Follow:

Does too many to mention count as an answer? No? Okay… In no particular order *deep breath* 

Shows: The Handmaids Tale, Animal Kingdom, The 100, Vikings, Stranger Things, All American, Riverdale, Scream, Supernatural, Parks and Rec, Vampire Diaries, Big Bang Theory, Modern Family, Twelve Monkeys, Shadow Hunters, Game Of Thrones, Reign, American Horror Story, Buffy… There are literally a ton more but I really can’t think on them at the moment….

Movies: I can’t really say that I follow movies per-se… if I had to choose I’d say Marvel movies though if that counts as an answer? Umm… genre wise I like a wide range but mainly gravitate towards comedy, action and thriller movies. Or something with a good twist in the story where it either throws what you thought you were watching on its head, or you get an “aaahhhhh that’s was happening” moment. To watch a horror, it has to have that something that makes me want to watch it or get invested in it… whether it’s a character I really relate to or can get invested in, or a really good story. My favourite horror is probably Haunting In Connecticut, and I saw Midsommar recently and thought it was really amazingly done!

Other Fandoms You Follow:

I don’t really follow a lot of fandoms if I’m honest. I would probably say after Teen Wolf I follow the Marvel, The 100 and Supernatural fandoms more. Mainly the Captain America/Steve/Bucky fandoms. I love a good discussion about Animal Kingdom too!

Other Favourite Characters from shows/movies?

Uuuuhhhh…. Okay you asked for it, I was going to explain my reasons for why I love each but I’d be here all day and this part alone would end up turning into an essay.

Steve Harrington (Stranger Things), April Ludgate (Parks and Rec) , Sam Winchester (Supernatural), Craig Middlebrooks (Parks and Rec), Mickey Milkovich (Shameless US), Bucky Barnes (Marvel), James Cole (Twelve Monkeys), Jack Kline (Supernatural), Michael Langon (American Horror Story), Catherine de Medici (Reign), Constance Langdon (American Horror Story), Dean Winchester (Supernatural), Alec Lightwood (Shadow Hunters), Anya Jenkins (Buffy), Raphael Santiago (Shadow Hunters), Stephane Narcisse (Reign), Kai Parker (Vampire Diaries), John Murphy (The 100) 

What do you like to create (writing/art/videos)? 

I’d really love to be creative enough to make art or videos, but I’m really not! I’m far more comfortable with writing… I find it a lot easier to plan a story, or just to start writing and let the words flow that way and see where it goes. It’s a good way for me to express myself and to work through feelings or to just switch off for a while and create words on a page.

Do you only create for Teen Wolf/Thiam?

I have written for Supernatural in the past and I’m planning to write a Raphael fic for Shadow Hunters at some point and maybe a John Murphy one because I’ve not found many for him that cater to my angsty tastes when there’s so much that can be explored... But at the moment yes it’s only for Teen Wolf. I’ve also posted one Sceo fic which I would like to continue as well!

Which genres do you prefer reading and creating for?

Angst, angst, angst… did I mention angst?? It just feels right to me to write angstier fics, the words and ideas just seem to flow really well, which is a surprise as I’m not really an angsty person in life. It’s just what I’ve always gravitated towards writing and I find a lot better to express myself in that way. I have a humour/angst WIP which I decided to attempt a while ago and I did quite enjoy writing something a little different from what I normally do and people seemed to enjoy it.

If your creative process was a person, what type would they be? What would they do? Wear? Listen to? How do they handle conflict?

Quite probably the most disorganised messiest person alive… No not really… just sorta… kinda… maybe… In all seriousness, they’d be half organised and half “ lets see where this road takes us”. They would probably wear all black all day every day, and be a half emo kid who listens to punk pop and emo music from their teens with a healthy mix of dance and sad songs. Handling conflict? We don’t do that here… we bottle up our feelings and hide them away until they come out in the wrong ways. No really… I think they’d express themselves pretty clearly with 1000 words instead of 100.

Official Thiam Library

How did you find the Official Thiam Library?

I found the Official Thiam Library through searching the Theo Raeken tags on Tumblr and seen the page name pop up a few times, I had a look at the page not long after and followed pretty quickly, I needed my Theo/Thiam fix and this page covered it very well!

First impressions?

“Woah, they’re on the ball!” and then when I saw a few of the events the page done I was really impressed at how often they posted recommendations and how they could organise it all.

How did you come to be involved on the mod team?

I filled in the form for Beta Readers and Helpers for the Thiam Big Bang, I’d have loved to have participated but I didn’t know if I’d have been able to commit to having such a large work completed on a deadline, so I thought I’d offer to help in another way, having helped to run the Supernatural SummerGen for a few years. Tiffany got back to me pretty quickly about it and I came on board at that point.

What do you feel that you bring to the team?

Uuuhhh… I hate these types of questions haha! I really feel like I mostly bring my organisational skills, along with the way that like to try and help out where I can in the background with writing/explaining things or getting back to people with asks/emails etc... With the Big Bang I brought my experience of things I’d learned from the Supernatural events I’d worked on too which I think/hope was of use?

How do you help out?

Mainly what I’ve answered above applies to this question too I think?

What would you like to see for the Official Thiam Library over the next year?

I’d really love to see the page continue… continue on as is, doing a few more fandom events, grow as a page and fandom... also to help keeping the fandom going which is important right now I think… we’ve managed it so far though! We were just speaking about how thrilled we are that the fandom is still going strong. I also think it’s important to give older and newer fandom creators the recognition & cheer that they deserve too, which can be done through reblogging/recommendations and different events too. 

 Cute BTS Questions

Let’s imagine you’ve landed in a Zombie apocalypse, Walking Dead/Zombieland style. You’re among seven survivors–yourself and six characters from Teen Wolf. Which five would be your first choice for survival, entertainment, etc? And who would be the sixth character, the one you’d willingly push in front of a rage-filled zombie mob given the first chance? 

I can’t help but feel that my choice for the last part will be unpopular but here goes:

Theo and Chris for survival… they seem like they’d both be good to have around in this sort of situation, Stiles for entertainment because he had his funny moments and would keep everyone going I think. Melissa because we all need a mother figure who knows when to be tough but can also provide you with the loving support you need. Scott because… well… he’s a the alpha and we’d need someone to lead our small group and take charge when needed. 

Who would I willingly throw to the zombie mob given the first chance? Allison and Kira are both a tie here. Can’t I throw them both?? I never really liked Allison as a character… I don’t even really know why I just never gelled with her as a character I would like or could even get behind. Kira… ugh… just ugh… I feel like she was quite a forced character, they tried too hard to make her this cooky/funny character who could also kick ass and it just came off wrong to me… I never really warmed to her as she just felt forced. 

If you could read only 5 fanfictions for an entire year, which would you choose? Thiam or another fandom, if not Thiam, which fandom? 

In no order at all because I never tire of reading any of them:

1 - Airplanes by Captainmintyfresh - Teen Wolf - Thiam fanfiction

2 - Despite The Threatening Sky And Shuddering Earth (They Remained) by praximeter (Zimario)  - Captain America - Steve/Bucky fanfiction

3 - The Call by DemonzDust - Teen Wolf - Sceo fanfiction

4 - The Crow On The Cradle by Refur - Supernatural fanfiction

5 - Gotta Have Faith by arxiver - Captain America - Steve/Bucky fanfiction

You are our sensei and us your pupils, can you impart any life/writing wisdom? 

Life wisdom: Don’t sweat the small stuff... seriously… it wastes so much time and energy that you could be using for other things. If you can’t control it or you don’t feel it’ll be bothering you this time next year, then don’t let it bog you down.    People will come and go, that’s a part of life, take the lessons that they taught you from their time in your life (whether positively or negatively) and use them wisely. 

Writing wisdom: Don’t force yourself. If you’re having an hour, a day, or a week where the words or ideas won’t come then don’t force it to happen, you’ll only feel worse. Step back, put on some music which suits the tone of whatever you’re writing and try to get in the mood of your story that way, it’s amazing the words that can come or the complete change in direction you can go from doing that. 

Finally, what’s next for you?

Hopefully getting back into the swing of things with the Official Thiam Library and writing more again, getting ready for the Reverse Big Bang, and planning a few things in my personal life, like a few trips, my wedding and a house move (yes… I’m becoming a boring adult and it’s a scary new world!)

[dannitan]

84 Questions

Put your music player of choice on shuffle and list the first 10 songs. When We Were Young - London Grammar; Do I Wanna Know? (cover) - CHVRCHES; 18 - 5 Seconds of Summer; Penny Lane - The Beatles; Night Changes - One Direction; Everglow - Coldplay; Dancing Queen - ABBA; The Motherlode - The Staves; After the Afterparty (feat. Lil’ Yachty) - Charli XCX; Sad - Maroon 5

If you could spend a week anywhere in the world, where would it be and why? Would you take anyone with you? KOREA. So I could enjoy the culture, sights, and food again. I have never been there so it would be awesome to visit. I’d take my family or good friends along.

What is your preferred writing implement? (eg. Blue pen, pencil, green pen) Black ballpen.

Favourite month and why? January or February because it’s still cool.

Do you have connections to any celebrities (even minor)? List them. My dad’s side (by way of the Nubla clan) is distantly related to Coney Reyes (actress).

Name 3 items you could pick up from where you are. a) a mug with coffee; b) black ballpen; c) colored pencils

What brand logo is closest to you currently? Resorts World Manila

Do you ever play board games or other non-computer games? Got any favourites? Sometimes. I like Game of Life, UNO, Monopoly Deal.

A musical artist you love that isn’t well known Astrid S

A musical artist you love that is well known Coldplay

What is your desktop background currently? Kate Spade striped wallpaper

Last person you talked to, and through what you talked to them My yaya (nanny). We talked to each other in person.

First colour name you can think of that isn’t in the rainbow Black (does it count?)

What timekeeping devices are in the room you are currently in? My iPhone.

What kind of headphones do you use? JBL

What musical artists have you seen perform live? Most recently, Sam Smith. He was AMAZING live and looked real good. <3

Does virginity matter to you? Yes! Absolutely.

What gaming consoles do you or your family own? We have a Wii and GameCube that are long unused and broken.

What pets do you have? What are their names? 2 dogs :) a Yorkie named Chili and a toy poodle called Chip

What’s the best job you’ve ever had? Being a behavior technician at ABC Center Philippines. I would not change it for anything else, good or bad.

What’s the worst job you’ve ever had? None but does an internship count?

What magazines do you read, if any? Preview, travel magazines. Not so much into magazines compared to before. :P

Inspiration behind your URL? my nickname from secondary school + surname

Inspiration behind your blog title? N/A

Favourite item of clothing? My Anello backpack.

Are you friends with any exes? Never had a boyfriend yet!

Name at least one book you loved as a child. The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle

What’s your native language? If that language has distinct regional variations, which variation? (eg. AU English, US English) Philippine English. NOTE: I also speak Filipino but not super good at it. :\ I regret not taking Chinese (both Hokien and Mandarin) when I was younger.

What email service do you use? Gmail.

Is there anything hanging on the walls of the room you are currently in? A board with some Polaroids and positive quotes on it.

What’s your favourite number, and why? 5. It it not too big or too small in amount!

Earliest moment in your life you can remember? Watching VHS tapes at my grandparents’ (dad’s house) house during the weekends. I miss being a kid. :(

What did you have for dinner yesterday? Korean food from Kogi Promenade.

How often do you brush your teeth? Twice a day.

What’s your favourite candy/chocolate? Kitkat. Hershey’s Cookies & Cream. Milka Triolade.

Have you had other blogs on Tumblr? Do you have any other blogs currently? None. Just this one.

If you were suddenly really hungry, what would you choose to eat? RICE.

What fandoms would you consider yourself a part of? Probably a fangirl of Benedict Cumberbatch and Eddie Redmayne. <3 <3

If you could study anything, what would it be? Applied Behavior Analysis. Fashion Design. Abnormal or Clinical Psychology. Sociology.

Do you use anything on your lips? (eg. Chapstick, gloss, balm, lipstick) Lipbalm. On special occasions, lipstick.

How would you describe your sense of humour? I like satirical and dark humor.

What things annoy you more than anything else? Tardiness, rude people, stupidity, traffic, extreme weather.

What kind of position are you in at the moment? Happier. :)

Do you wear much jewellery? Not so much anymore! Just studded earrings sometimes.

Who is the leader of your country, currently? Any other levels of government with leaders? (State, region, province, county, district, municipality, etc) President- Rody Dutertre -__-

Last 3 blogs on your dashboard, not including any of your own I can’t see them as of now.

What do you carry your money in? Wallet.

Do you enjoy driving? Why or why not? I don’t drive.

Longest drive you have ever been on? A car ride to Baguio.

Furthest away from home you have ever been? USA with the family.

How many times have you moved house? Twice. Once when I was a baby and then when I was 10.

What is on the floor of the room you’re currently in, not including furniture? My laptop bag.

How many devices do you own which can access the internet? 4.

Is there is anything that is guaranteed to always make you happy? My dogs. Chocolate. Good reading material. Shopping. My loved ones. Travel.

Is there anything that always makes you sad? Remembering my grandfather and his condition before.

What programs do you currently have open? uTorrent, Google Chrome, Spotify, iTunes.

What do you associate the colour red with? Good luck (Chinese tradition).

Last strong smell you can remember smelling? Smoke from the area next to our center.

Last healthy thing you ate? Kimchi.

Do you drink tea or coffee, and how much per day? Both but coffee much more often! I drink it at least twice a day.

What do you associate the colour blue with? Calmness and my college alma mater, Ateneo. :)

How long is the closest ruler you can find? None?

What colour pants/skirt/etc are you currently wearing? Maroon.

When was the last time you drank water? 2 hours ago.

How often do you clear your browser history? Every month.

Do you believe nude photos can be artistic, rather than erotic? It depends.

Ever written fanfiction for anything? Nope.

Last formal event you attended My cousin’s wedding.

If you had to move your birthday to another date, which one would you choose and why? January 1, so that my birthday will be on the start of the new year!

Would you prefer to be at a beach or in the countryside? Countryside!

Roughly how many people live in your town? Too many to count.

Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you? My godfather’s sister.

Favourite place to shop? Can be a certain store or a place where there are multiple stores H&M, Zara, Dorothy Perkins, Plains & Prints.

Do you have a smartphone? What kind? If you don’t, do you want one? yup I do! I have an iPhone 6S.

What is your least favourite colour, and why? Can’t really choose haha.

How do you spell grey/gray? Grey.

Go to your dashboard and describe the image shown in the radar section (below the “Find blogs” link) I think it’s a video clip!

What difference is there between how many followers you have, and the number of blogs you follow? Huge!

How many posts do you have? More than a thousand!

How many posts have you liked? Same as above.

Do you post mainly reblogs, or your own content? Reblogs.

Do you track any tags? Nope.

What time is it currently? 12:09 PM Manila Time.

Is there anything you should be doing right now? Taking a bath!

[unfamiliarties-a]

canon divergencies in characters.

i'll try and keep these as short as i can, but basically if you want to know where any timelines or portrayals differ from general canon then here's a master list for everyone. i'll update this for any muses i add or remove from here. any additional questions then just drop me a line. there will be spoilers for various fandoms. if any muses i have don't appear on this list then either there's no canon divergency to consider or i'm still in the process of deciding these things, again, feel free to just ask about it.

general.

tracy mcconnell. this one is kind of obvious but basically my tracy did not die at the end of the series and by extention ted did not wind up with robin after this, regardless of how much time had passed. ted and tracy both ended up together, had two beautiful kids penny and luke, and tracy was there for her daughter's wedding.

luke skywalker. i'm fine with everything that happened in the last jedi. i know a lot of other people weren't, but i'm cool with it. i didn't want luke to die particularly, but i'm okay with the fact that he did. i'm happy to write things with luke as a force ghost or luke if he had survived the finale fight.

elena gilbert. this is less a divergence of elena herself but more the general direction of the show that i didn't really enjoy. so with that everything after season three is considered to be divergent from the show. my particular peeves were plec's lack of care about elena's career goals from this point (aka the doctor thing) and her absence from the show after season six (aka why would you get rid of the main character of your show you dumb fucks). i'm fine with elena waking up as a vampire at the end of season three and the reveal of her and damon meeting before she met stefan.

loki laufeyson. no real canon divergency here. loki's death was heartbreaking and i definitely didn't want it to happen but i'm okay that it did and how well it was done. i will say here though that i do believe that loki was under some partial influence from the scepter during the attack on new york, but i'm not condoning anything either. that's just my five cents on the matter.

jess mariano. ooh, boy okay. so .. the kyle's bedroom thing. i wanna make it clear that jess, or my jess, or just how i saw things personally, was not going to rape rory. yes he was pushy and his behaviour that night was all around shitty and i do not excuse it for a moment, but he never would have gone all the way forcing her. and the first thing he did after the fight was apologise to her when he saw her next. that's just the tea for me. everything with a year in the life was cool with me i just wish there had been more scenes of him haha.

tony stark. the 'zuccini' comment just did not happen. k. thanks. bye.

natasha romanoff. i have my own bio for nat which you can read here. it's really the best guide for what i consider to be natasha's story, which is basically my own accumulation of natasha's appearances and history in the films and comics, so it would be nice also if no one stole what i wrote. also just a smol thing that the natasha and bruce trash romance did not happen here.

extended.

damon salvatore. similar to above that i have little to complain about with damon himself but with what way the show went after season three. i do think that damon's motivations and relationships with particular characters weren't put across properly to the audience, so i'll be here to clear up those instances. i'm okay with the damon and caroline thing, i don't ship them or i don't agree with what he did but i won't label it as rape. i'm not a survivor myself so i'm not telling anyone how to feel about it, to me i just think that caroline did want to sleep with him in the beginning but not after he attacked her and they didn't sleep together after that fact. the compulsion applied to damon getting her to help with with things in the town and feeding on her, but i don't think he compelled her for sex, so i treat it in that context. however i won't be explicitly writing this side of their relationship and my damon did apologize to her. i'm happy to keep the enzo and damon backstory but not them running off to kill people etc. the sibyl stuff however did not happen, nor the stuff with lily etc.

peter parker. i've seen a lot of the discussions about peter being transgender, i'm not against it in anyway, i actually think its kind of neat. i'm lgbt myself so its awesome to see some representation like that and i fully support all the trans peter's out there. personally for me however, i see peter as still figuring things out in all aspects of his life, including who he is as himself and being a friendly neighbourhood spiderman. so i'm not against exploring a trans peter in the near future, or atleast figuring that out, but for now i just think peter is too all over the place to put a label on himself either way, so he won't refer to himself as trans or otherwise, or who he's interested in sexually or romantically. it's all just one big figuring things out schtick, so be patient with him.

rory gilmore. okay so i liked the reunion series aka a year in the life but i didn't personally think that rory's arc was the best so i'm going to negate it entirely and do my own thing with it, whatever that will be. my biggest peeves really was her attitude to certain job prospects and her falling back into a crappy relationship with logan - which i never really cared for in the original series anyway. i can acknowledge that rory and logan were a thing back then, it actually lends to rory's conclusion at the end of that season but i won't write shippy things for them going forward, and i'm not even that keen in writing past shippy stuff for them. i'm a hardcore rory and jess shipper, so while she didn't wait around for him either, i'm totally down for them getting together. 

sam winchester. the whole becky rosen debacle did not happen. this includes them meeting, the love potion and the mess that was their 'marriage’. it just did not happen. becky rosen does not exist here. sam did not kill emma. if dean were to have a daughter then sam would not just kill her, monster or not, he would try to help first and probably to a fault, like he did with jack. there was never a romantic attachment with ruby. they were work partners of circumstance, they both used each other and slept together and ruby did manipulate him. sam has all his memories of the cage, due to the immense torture he went under during that time, a good portion of his 'memory’ is down to sensation, sight, sound, feeling, ect. from this its hard for him to say whether or not he was sexually abused / raped by lucifer in the cage. he was most definitely tortured and he retains the feelings of being violated in every way imaginable, but he doesn’t have a solid picture in his head of what exactly happened or atleast the whole of what happened.

dean winchester. though the show isn’t explicit with dean’s sexuality, my dean is considered to be a closeted bisexual. he has an interest in men and at times doesn’t hide it well and is very in denial about it. he’s never gotten a chance to even experiment it or entertain the idea due to the kind of life he lives, i.e. being a hunter. he will be very concerned about getting into a relationship or even a romantic entanglement with another guy, but it’s not to say its something he doesn’t want with the right person. dean was a demon for a lot longer than the show portrayed, we’re talking months and not weeks. dean loved being a demon, not looking back on it now, it makes him feel unclean whenever he thinks about it, but as a demon dean was as dangerous as they come and it took several botched attempts to bring him down by sam and castiel before they were eventually able to catch him.

john winchester. sam and dean were never beaten by john or harmed physically by him, who never would have raised a hand to his kids over anything. he wasn’t a perfect dad, he was a man grieving his wife and he made mistakes, he made his boys grow up too soon bc he couldn’t stand the idea of them not being ready someone or something tried to hurt them. no john winchester hate will be accepted here. john did tell dean to kill sam if he went evil. not because he didn’t believe in sam or hated him for anything. they had both made their peace with each other before john died. john just didn’t want his son to be corrupted or become something he wasn’t, he didn’t want azazael’s plan for sam to ever come to fruition. he wanted sam safe and himself always.

mary winchester. sleeping with ketch did not happen. bc good god, no. she was grieving her husband, john was the one. she would not jump into bed with a shit like ketch. that is all. mary did abandon the boys for the british men of letters. she was dealing with coming back to life, being a mother to two grown boys, grieving a dead husband and now living in a time and place completely different to her own time. she was adjusting to her new situation and granted she did not deal with that very well. i won’t make excuses for her in that respect but she didn’t do it out of spite or dislike for her sons.