#the height and the massive shoulders are extremely useful when weird men try anything. i just stand up and end their careers

[fingertipsmp3]

Like okay. I’m glad I’m my father’s daughter but also do I have to, on every level, be my father’s daughter

[blueluneacy]

Otome Game

The first place fic for @pezahut ! It’s just a La Squadra/Reader!

Yes I’m naming it Otome Game because that’s all it is

3k words

Warnings: non con touching

You wondered if this really was your best purpose on La Squadra. While you couldn’t complain, exactly, I mean you weren’t exactly sure if you could really kill people, but when you were assigned here, this wasn’t exactly what you were planning on doing. Maybe cleaning countertops was easier than doing the dirty work the men of the team specialized in. Maybe it was better this way, just to clean. You had become quite good at getting blood out of fabric, though you were still working through what you only hoped was a hunk of mold in the bathroom. Yes, you probably got off a lot better than most people who had the misfortune of dealing with Passione.

Though estranged for years, a family member had used you as collateral and wracked up massive amounts of debts with Passione, before finally kicking the bucket through what you could only assume was mafia justice. Of course, that death apparently wasn’t even enough, and you were collected to repay the debt. With little choice, you ended up here, working with la Squadra for what could only be considered meager wages. But hey, it wasn’t all bad. What you assumed were going to be rough mafiosos were… Well, still rough mafiosos, but they weren’t all bad. They seemed nice enough, even if they were all weird. So, you continued to clean the countertops, hoping that you at least were doing that well enough. This base was always so busy, with people coming and going and eyes on you. 

Currently, you could feel Sorbet and Gelato’s eyes poring into you, the way they always seemed to look at other people the way a cat would taunt their prey. It was creepy, but you took at least a little solace in knowing they weren’t after you. They were lovers after all, and you weren’t going to get in the way of that. Of course… There was the time that Gelato seemed to get a little too close, touching your hair and commenting on it.

“It’s so soft, bella. You should let us tug on it more often~” He commented, leaving you to quickly back away while Gelato laughed like some sort of hyena. Sorbet just stared at you, his eyes practically bearing into your soul. He rarely ever said anything, and when he did, his voice was low, gruff. He only ever said sweet words to Gelato. You assumed that Gelato was just the teasing type, the type to enjoy watching someone squirm and try to wrangle themselves in from their own fear. They worked well together that way, both of them unnerving you in different ways. Occasionally, Sorbet would ask something of you, pressing his hand on your shoulder and speaking almost directly into your ear.

“The meeting is soon. Bring tea.” You sometimes noticed that when you shuddered from how close he was to you, Sorbet would smirk just the slightest bit. But you supposed they were nice enough, just trying to compliment you. Just trying to be nice in their own, weird way.

Then there was Formaggio. He seemed nice, but overly so. He was rough around the edges, for sure, but he seemed to work hard and be good at what he does. 

“What are we doing today, carina?” His voice was always a bit of a purr, and he tended to speak to you as if you were some sort of small animal. He tended to enjoy coming behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist, resting his head on your shoulder. The first time you squirmed and tried to get out his grasp, Formaggio pouted like a child.

“Come on, sweetie, I’m just trying to love on you a little bit. You’re so uptight sometimes.” He would complain, but your protests never deterred him much. Formaggio was certainly affectionate, but you assumed it was just a cultural thing. Italians tend to be a lot more touchy, after all. Formaggio seemed to have some weird inferiority thing, from the way you saw him interact with the others, so maybe he just felt powerful startling you the way he always did. You could never really tell.

Illuso seemed… Oddly curious of you. You swore, he always showed up the weirdest of times. You quickly had become aware of Illuso’s voyeuristic tendencies, from an incident when you were brushing your teeth. He just popped out of the mirror like some sort of ghost, but you hadn’t even said his name three times. When you scrambled back from him, shocked and honestly a little straight, he just laughed at you. 

“Oh, don’t be like that. Am I not allowed to visit now?  It’s not like you’re busy. But if you insist, I could visit you in your room. You know, you look so peaceful when you sleep…”

“You watched me sleep?!” 

“I was just checking up on you! After all, you’re part of La Squadra now? You should be thankful, the way I’m caring for you because you can’t pull your own height and protect yourself. I only want to make sure our resident sapling doesn’t get crushed.” He would always laugh at your discomfort, as if it were some sort of game. You supposed that Illuso did care, it was just in his own odd way. You did your best not to take it seriously. Though occasionally, you noticed his face next to your reflection, or him peeking out of a drinking glass. You decided just to turn the mirror in your room when you slept. Just in case.

Pesci liked to try and help cook dinner, but he wasn’t ever very good at it. You had quickly learned to keep a first aid kit in the kitchen, because god was this guy clumsy. But he was always so earnest about it, you couldn’t help but like him. You remember when he burnt his hand on a pot, forgetting about the pot holders you had put out. You just sighed, watching the way Pesci held his hand to his chest, taking it and looking at the burn.

“Thankfully, it isn’t that bad. Go run it under some cool water, but don’t wrap it up. It’ll keep in the heat.” 

“You… You’re not mad?” 

“Why would I be? It was an accident. I’m just glad you’re okay.” You turned and smiled at the man, not noticing how his face heated up. He was rather quiet for the rest of the time the two of you spent together cooking. You figured that Pesci was just a bit shy and less than confident with himself, the way he seemed to get bullied by the other members of La Squadra. You went out of your way to be nice to him, hoping that it would at least lift his spirits. Whenever he could, he still tried to help you cook dinner. Pesci had told you that one day, he wanted to cook for you by himself. You just smiled and told him that you were looking forward to it.

Prosciutto seemed to regard you at an arm's length. He was probably the most professional out of those in La Squadra, for better or for worse. Apparently, he believed that you shouldn’t be in the base at all, that it was too dangerous for you, a person without a stand. You didn’t exactly understand what a stand was, but apparently they were important, and made a person strong. You supposed that your weakness would be a pretty good reason for the entirety of the group to fuss over you the way that they did, but Prosciutto really wasn’t the type to fuss. He seemed to just regard you kindly, but he was also harsh, often criticizing your work cleaning.

“This is still a mess. These spices aren’t organized at all.” He once told you, looking over your cabinets after a day of going through and getting rid of all the expired stuff, putting together a true grocery list.

“Well, it’s the best way for me to know where all of them are. It may look a little chaotic, but those spices are the ones that I use the most, so they need to be up front. To have them any other way, it would just be a mess every time I needed to cook.” You explained, but Prosciutto just crossed his arms, looking down at you.

“That’s not really good enough. If anyone saw this, what would they think? What would our reputation be?” Ah, reputation. Prosciutto was always concerned with how he and the others appeared to the outside, his reputation as a mafioso meaning the most out of everything. Honestly, you didn’t really care. Although you were technically a mafioso, you barely acted like one, and you weren’t going to change yourself any time soon just for something as silly as fulfilling a stereotype.

“I think they would see that we use a lot of cilantro. Besides, I’m the only one who ever opens this cabinet. You guys are too busy with missions, so I doubt anyone but you would notice.” You replied sharply. While Pesci always seemed to bend to Prosciutto’s will, your tongue was quick. Prosciutto would stare at you for a moment, hoping that you would break, but to no avail. So, he would just pull at his collar, shaking his head.

“You don’t act proper in the slightest.”

“I was never trying to.” You never noticed the way your fire seemed to make Prosciutto’s face heat up. You always assumed that he was just mad at you.

Melone was extremely interested the moment he heard that woman was joining La Squadra. According to Formaggio, he had suggested to Risotto that you were assigned with him so that he would always have a mother for Babyface on hand. The thought actually… Disturbed you a little bit. He didn’t ever make a good impression on you either. He was definitely the loosest and most touchy of La Squadra too, the way he would drape himself off of you and the way he would look at you like a man starved. You could tell that maybe his intentions with you weren’t all that innocent, but you pushed the thought away. After all, he was your coworker! Nothing like that could ever happen between the two of you. 

“Oh, (Y/n)~! What’s on the agenda today, bella? Are you busy?” He would ask you almost every morning, his voice ringing out like a bell. You had gotten used to it at this point, Melone’s weirdness simply being just the way you started your day now. If anything, it would feel weird if he wasn’t there and he didn’t call you like that.

“The usual. Cleaning. Are you ever going to let me into that bathroom of yours so I can clean it, or are you still trying to scrape all the lipstick off the walls?” You found it easy to have a banter with Melone. The two of you bounced off each other easily, and you could find it easy to really just talk with him. Even if he was flirtatious, it all felt laid on way too thick to be truly serious. In all honesty, you weren’t even sure if Melone was into women.

“It’s not ready, I haven’t moved everything. Though, if you do want to help me, I just have the tiniest little request, just the tiniest thing that would barely take half an hour, if you would just be so kind-”

“No Babyface. Remember what Risotto said. I’m not supposed to go out on missions, remember?” You replied, easily seeing through Melone’s tricks. He wasn’t really good at fooling you, or maybe you had just gotten a lot better at seeing through his tricks. Either way, you saying that easily made him pout, leaving him to cross his arms just a little bit.

“You’re no fun. And who’s to say I want it for a mission? Maybe I just believe that we would make beautiful children together, is all.” He replied, leaving you just to laugh.

“Yeah, right. I’m not really looking to become a mother quite yet, thank you though.”

“Mmm. I’ll seduce you yet, (Y/n).” He told you, before slinking off. You never took it seriously, after all, that was just the way Melone was. You shook your head and chuckled.

“I look forward to it.” 

Ghiaccio was basically a ticking time bomb. You had gotten pretty good at figuring out when he was going to explode, but you didn’t really make much of an effort to avoid him when it happened anymore. He was basically all bark with no bite, and the littlest things tended to set him off. Apparently, he’s pretty much always been like this. Screamy, I mean. Like that one time he caught you reading a crummy romance novel late at night, and Ghiaccio had to let you know exactly how he felt in your taste in literature. 

“It’s not only unrealistic, but it puts up this standard for people that makes things absolutely unattainable, not to mention-!” He went on. It had been probably about 10 minutes now, with you half listening as you turned the page in your book. You were surprised someone else didn’t come in and tell him to shut up yet. Ghiaccio really didn’t have any in between volume, rather, he was usually a low grumble, or screaming. You were at the point where you had figured out how to listen to both. However, you were getting a little bit tired, and you wanted to go to bed sooner rather than later. This lecture was probably going to last another hour if you didn’t cut in soon enough, you were going to be here forever.

“I.. I get it, Ghiaccio, really. Thank you for your… Helpful advice.” You did your best to smile, but Ghiaccio only scowled. 

“Were you even listening to me about all this?! It’s important, you know!” He snapped back, but you sighed, crossing your arms.

“I was. But I don’t agree.” You held your ground fairly well against him, leaving Ghiaccio to be taken aback a bit, silent only for a moment. You took the opportunity to make your point, lest Ghiaccio fall back into his tangential rant.

“I mean, maybe it’s not entirely realistic all the time, but romance also makes people want to fall in love, and to be loved. I think it gives people a bit of a goal to strive towards. Yeah, maybe I’m not going to find a knight in shining armor, but I don’t expect that. All I want is to find someone I’m happy with.” You explained, leaving Ghiaccio a tad speechless. 

“Well… I still don’t like it. You should read something that’s actually realistic.” He told you, leaving you to sigh.

“Well, how about this? Why don’t you pick out a book for me to read, and I’ll read it and let you know what I think?” You smiled warmly, leaving Ghiaccio to sputter just a bit.

“I-I… Y-Yeah! If it’ll show you what real literature is like, then sure! I’ll make sure to pick something out that’ll blow you away!” Ghiaccio told you, leaving you just to laugh and smile. Even if he was loud and occasionally obnoxious, you could tell he had a good heart. And in the end, isn’t that all that really mattered?

Risotto was… Well, you couldn’t really put your thumb on it. You would call him cold, but that really wasn’t the right word. Stoic, maybe. The two of you really didn’t spend much time together, but he always seemed to be around, watching over you, and occasionally butting in when he felt like you were in over your head. You remembered the first time you met him, sitting across from him, recoiling in your chair. You felt like you were face to face with death itself, those red eyes bearing into you in a way that almost made you vomit. 

“So, no combat experience? No stand? No skills of any kind?” He asked you, leaving you to shiver just a little bit.

“No… B-But uh… Well, I don’t know, really. I’m not sure why I was assigned here, really, b-but… W-Well, I promise to work really hard at whatever you assign me to do! I know I’m not really strong, or brave, or cunning like a lot of other people, but I really want to try by best at everything that I do. I promise you that no matter what, I’m going to at least do my best, even if it isn’t good enough.” You told him. The way you spoke seemed to make Risotto’s eyes light up a bit. Even if you were scared and small and weak, you still wanted to at least work hard. This burden was put upon you when you didn’t deserve it, and yet you took it in stride. There was a small pang in Risotto’s chest, a thumping of his heart. He looked over his papers.

“Well… We need someone to take care of the base. Someone always has to be here, after all. It’ll be easy to make sure everything is in order with you here, so… Just take care of the place. That’ll be your duty. If anyone needs help, help them within reason.” He told you, leaving you to gasp a bit. Risotto… He seemed like he was cruel and unforgiving, but he really was a kind person. You smiled at him, nodding a bit.

“I promise I’ll work hard then, Mr. Nero! I won’t disappoint you!” You told him, leaving the man just to smile a bit. He reached over as you stood up, taking your hand and pressing his lips against it. 

“I know you won’t. Welcome to La Squadra, and feel free to call me Risotto.”

Yes, the men of La Squadra really were weird, weren’t they? And yet, you found yourself caring about all of them, wanting what’s best for all of them. While you didn’t really understand their weird ways of interacting with you, different from how they interacted with the others of the team, you had noticed, they all seemed to care about you greatly. You smiled as you finished up cleaning the counter, moving to get started on cooking for all of them. Soon, all of your boys would be home, and plenty hungry. While it may be difficult to navigate what fate had put forward for you, you decided to take it all in stride and see what would happen next. After all, who knows? There’s always twists and turns in every romance novel. Maybe all of that would bleed into real life too.