#the irony of me saying the meme is dead and then this post blowing up is not lost on me

[moths-in-hats]

The Muppets as Goncharov (1973)

the only goncharov remake I want is a muppets version

[Image description: Gifs of the muppets with edited captions.

1 - Kermit, wearing a suit, says, "Yes, I am Goncharov."

2 - Several ticking clocks on a wall

3 - Miss Piggy and Kermit kiss, while Miss Piggy says, "Of course, we're in love; that's why I tried to shoot you."]

[kareenvorbarra]

Stealing an excellent prompt from Vardas - top 5 edain quotes!

OKAY GONNA ANSWER THESE LAST FEW ANCIENT MEME PROMPTS

i’m gonna do it the same way you did, with actual lines of dialogue spoken by Edain characters. honestly it was a struggle not to fill this list completely with CoH quotes but I did my best. 

Predictably this got long so quotes and explanatory yelling are under the cut

1. Beren

To Felagund then Beren said: ”Twere little loss if I were dead,and I am minded all to tell, and thus, perchance, from this dark hell thy life to loose. I set thee free from thine old oath, for more for me hast thou endured than e’er was earned.’

The Lay of Leithian, Canto X

OUCH. let me cry at you about how little Beren values his own life, how much guilt he feels at outliving almost everyone he ever cared about, how he recovered some of his will to live after spending a few months in the forest with Luthien but after watching his new friends get eaten in werewolf jail he’s pretty much right back to square one x_x save him

2. Hurin and Morwen

‘And if we gain our ends, then the Elven-kings are resolved to restore all the fief’s of Beor’s house to his heir; and that is you, Morwen daughter of Baragund. Wide lordships we should then wield, and a high inheritance come to our son. Without the malice in the North he should come to great wealth, and be a king among Men.’

‘Hurin Thalion,’ said Morwen, ‘this I judge truer to say: that you look high, but I fear to fall low.’

The Children of Hurin, Chapter 1

Hurin/Morwen is the best-written Tolkien ship and that is the hill i will die on. all their conversations in the CoH are so good and shippy and full of awful foreshadowing and dramatic irony. you can feel their devotion to one another and how much they trust each other even though they have such different personalities and ways of looking at the world. Hurin’s been through a lot but he’s so determinedly hopeful, and Morwen wants to believe things will be alright (and in Hurin’s company it’s almost easy to believe) but she can’t quite bring herself to do it after everything she’s seen. 

my favorite thing about THIS quote in particular is that apparently, at some point in the planning stages of the Nirnaeth, Hurin and Fingon and maybe Maedhros sat down and discussed what they were going to do once they took back Ladros, and Hurin was like “that land belongs to humans, specifically my wife” and the elves were like “yeah you’re right”….god idk just something about Hurin recognizing her as the heir to the house of Beor, that that position still holds weight in his eyes and the eyes of the elves, gives me a lot of feelings 

3. Turin

‘All this I have answered,’ said Túrin. 'Valiant defence of the borders and hard blows ere the enemy gathers; in that course lies the best hope of your long abiding together. And do those that you speak of love such skulkers in the woods, hunting strays like a wolf, better than one who puts on his helm and figured shield, and drives away the foe, be they far greater than all his host? At least the women of the Edain do not. They did not hold back the men from the Nirnaeth Arnoediad.’

The Children of Hurin, Chapter 10

okay i fucking HATE this quote kjghjlhgfjaksdgh along with the whole exchange between Turin and Gwindor that comes before it. i love it, but god does it hurt me. this is one of those moments when it’s so painfully obvious how out-of-touch Turin truly is, how little he knows about his own people. he was a child during the Nirnaeth, and sheltered from the worst of its aftermath in Dor-lomin, and it’s like he still views it through a child’s eyes - the men who went to the battle and never returned are heroes, and to behave any other way would be cowardly.

i love him, i love this speech, i totally understand how he ended up feeling this way, but GOD Turin you don’t know what you’re talking about!!!! i’m so mad!!!!!!!! “they did not hold back the men from the Nirnaeth Arnoedied” as if that means anything! as if that means none of them tried, or wanted to try but didn’t because it would have been useless! also this quote makes me think of Rian because you KNOW she didn’t want them to go, she’d been married for TWO MONTHS and she hated war and literally all her other male relatives had died in combat, and Morwen had major reservations about the whole thing too but Turin didn’t know about that because he was a little kid!!!!!!!! anyway i’m really upset about this family, why couldn’t they all stay together and be happy and get to know each other properly!!!!!!

4. Tuor

‘Gurth an Glamhoth!’ Tuor muttered. ‘Now the sword shall come from under the cloak. I will risk death for mastery of that fire, and even the meat of Orcs would be a prize.’

Unfinished Tales, Of Tuor and His Coming To Gondolin

Okay this one’s short but i LOVE all the lines where dangerous outlaw Tuor comes through, because he’s the same person as beautiful cinnamon roll Tuor, and kind, sweet characters with a violent streak are my WEAKNESS (see also: Tuor wrecking Maeglin’s shit with his bare hands in BoLT). so here’s my son snarling death threats in Sindarin, ready to kill the shit out of some Orcs. and possibly eat them afterwards, who knows (Voronwe: *whispers* what the fuck)

5. Aerin

'He speaks with the truth of death,’ said Aerin. 'You have learned what you would. Now go swiftly! But go first to Morwen and comfort her, or I will hold all the wrack you have wrought here hard to forgive. For ill though my life was, you have brought death to me with your violence. The Incomers will avenge this night on all that were here. Rash are your deeds, son of Hurin, as if you were still but the child that I knew.’

The Children of Hurin, Chapter 

ugh okay sorry that 2/5 of this post is me getting upset about things Turin says about Edain women, i actually love Turin a lot thanks ju but god….he’s so….oblivious sometimes and it’s not really his fault but i still want to shake him and yell “you have the NERVE to insult this woman who helped and protected your mother and sister for years and endured decades of horrifying abuse the likes of which you’ve never experienced, all of which you should KNOW because SADOR JUST TOLD YOU.” 

enough about Turin. Aerin is one of the most important Tolkien characters to me - she has such a presence even though she only appears in the story briefly, and everything she says and does carries so much weight and i’m impressed that Tolkien managed to create a character of such depth with just a few pages and a handful of earlier references. i don’t think Tolkien wrote enough women, but when he did, he tended to do a good job with them (better than some later fantasy writers tbqh). and the Children of Hurin is very special i think because it has maybe the highest density of female characters in anything Tolkien ever wrote (Morwen, Finduilas, Aerin, Nienor), and they’re all different and they actually say things and we get insight into their lives and thoughts and motivations. 

Aerin is very specifically portrayed as strong in a way that Turin doesn’t recognize as strength - quiet, enduring, pragmatic - and she’s bitter and miserable and victimized but she still uses what little power she has to help others. Tolkien recognizes that, and he makes it clear that Turin is wrong about her. My other favorite Aerin-related line that didn’t quite make this list is when Asgon, one of the thralls who escapes with Turin, tells him that he thinks Aerin was the one who set the hall on fire, then says, “Many a man of arms misreads patience and quiet. She did much good among us at much cost. Her heart was not faint, and patience will break at the last.” i love that Aerin is this respected figure among her people, that everyone from elderly homeless Sador to young strong restless Asgon loves Aerin and recognizes that just living her life the way she does requires strength and bravery. so i’d like to non-sarcastically thank Tolkien for giving us Aerin, and for leaving her fate ambiguous even though every Tolkien reference site/blog on this damn internet seems determined to pretend that her death is canon i’m looking at you askmiddlearth