#the neanderthal opens the door to the universe

[no-more-nightingales]

i’m reading an amazing book and there’s a character that is unknown (like ‘A’ in pretty little liars) and it’s sooo obvious who it is and it has been for like 180 pages jesus fucking christ i just want to grab the main characters by their collars and shake some sense into them because THE CHARACTER IS LITERALLY ONE OF TGEIR CLOSE FRIENDS AND ITS SO OBVIOUS MY GODS

[mieczyhale]

"We're on a mission from God, bitches."

-"Neanderthal Opens the Door to the Universe" by Preston Morton

[unmotivater]

A Review of Neanthadral Opens The Door to the Universe

Mild Spoiler Warning & Trigger Warning for Discussion of Suicide & Abuse

Can you believe it? I literally finished it under 24 hours, like all four hundred pages under a damn day (well technically, I started it yesterday at like seven pm and finished it at four pm today). That was how addictive it was, I just kept reading through it. Flipping through it. I couldn't believe I thought my sister was ridiculous for buying this.

Unlike most YA novels I've read, our protagonist (Cliff Hubbard, AKA the titular Neanderthral) narration is entertaining. He's self deprecating, but he isn't pathetic. He doesn't really put himself down for attention, he's just shaped that way.

Before the story started, his brother, Shane, committed suicide and that pretty much made his life worse. Then, his life took a turn for the... greater weirder when one of the school's assholes Aaron Zimmerman got a concussion and told Cliff God came to him with a list. A list on how to fix the school.

I was never one for religious books, or books with religious themes. I'm just not interested. But this one handled it well! (And most of the supporting cast are err... atheists, so that's also unique. One of the main characters turns agnostic by the end, no elaboration on that.)

Cliff is huge, as in GIANT huge (that's where his cruel nickname comes from), but don't let that fool you. No matter how much his dad tells him to join the football team, he's basically a nerd at heart. (Although he can beat an asshole up easily. I'm not sure if he needs the football team as much as the football teams needed him).

I didn't really get most of the references, but I was so invested in Aaron's and Cliff's bromance. Their friendship went from 'Yeah, I only went along with his List for the jokies' to 'I would DIE for Aaron (well he never said that, but you can assume that)'.

They act like straight teenage guys, you know, ass, boobs and girls, but they also got a lot of chemistry together. Honestly, they're one of the few bromances I don't find myself shipping romantically. I just love them.

I forgot to elaborate on his list, but they were basically pointers on how to make their school better;

Put an end to Niko (one of the bullies obviously)'s bullying

Call the JTs (group of crazy Christian teens) to repentance

Remind Mr. Spinelli (an asshole teacher of theirs) why he chose to teach.

Show Frankie's gang (notorious gang of drug dealers) a better way

Find and stop HAL (a hacker)

Yes sir, I busted the book out!

Of course, it's left ambiguous on if Aaron did see God. Weirdly, the book also implies that Shane had a hand in transporting the message to him? The book does lean towards it being the result of his brain damage, but personally I liked to think there was a God sending him a message. Not a traditional God in our religions, no, I think a God.

Granted, I am an atheist so I don't have a horse in this race.

But seriously. Aaron got the best character development in this book. He went from a handsome, sexist douchebag to a well... handsome, loveable douchebag. Seriously. It wasn't just the concussion changing him, he really does change for the better. Albeit, he's still a teenager so he got a far way to go in terms of change but this is still better than nothing.

And did I mentioned Tegan, Cliff's girlfriend? I was worried she'd be those girlfriend characters that are only used to further the protagonist's development, but she has her own arc, personality, and hurts.

If I was a straight man, I'd fall for her. That's a queen.

But this topic does touch on some heavy topics. They may be hard to read through. For one example, Cliff has flashbacks to Shane's graphic suicide a few times. So, it might be triggering for any readers sensitive to that.

Cliff's dad also physically abuses him a lot, so that's also another sensitive topic the book touches on. But don't worry, his life gets better from here. A lot better. Everything I discussed in this post is just a tip of the iceberg, the four hundred page novel is a LOT more than that.

Overall, this is one of the few books I'd give a five star. Captivating, emotional, fun story, fun characters, beautiful themes. I adore everything about it. I wish I had read it earlier, but better now than never, right?

Please check it out if you love a YA novel that isn't centered around a romance. It's beautiful, fun, amusing.

And that was all that unmotivater wrote.

[cluuny]

Do you have a favourite book or other media type thing ^_^?

my fave book is neanderthal opens the door to the universe!!!! it's soooo good you neeed to read it right neow. im also obsessed with the play who's afraid of virginia woolf.

[hermitcraft-8]

hey what's your favorite book, movie, flower, color and animal? do you like "favorite" kind of questions, do you think they tell you anything about someone? do you really have favorites, do they change often? ok that's it

neanderthal opens the door to the universe, teenage mutant ninja turtles (1990), alstromeria, peach, bearded vulture. i like them, but i don't think they tell you anything about people without prompting. maybe that's why i like them. i don't really have favorites for most things, they do actually change too much for that

[count-a-w-k]

By A.W. Kerrison

Prologue

In the beginning, as humans slowly began to evolve and set out on a journey to an unknown future, they had no idea that they were being watched over by unknown beings, observing them from afar. These beings decided to help guide humanity to a righteous path, lest they be doomed to extinction.

On a cold evening in the middle of a desert, two transparent figures stand on top of a rock formation. They are looking down on a large group of cavemen, examining them dancing around a campfire. These transparent figures resemble a human in shape, but their bodies have no features on them. Something suggests they don’t belong to this universe. One of them starts talking to the other.

 “Well Dinon, I see the humans have finally discovered fire. Is this the start of their technological development?”

“Of course, Sikan. It really makes me wonder if any the other races of humans which have arisen on distant worlds have reached this stage yet.”

“Yeah, well we knew it would come to this. But will these humans ever meet the others out there in this ever-expanding universe?”

“Maybe one day they will, but then maybe they won’t. Remember, we have seen many possible futures for these humans. But that will be decided once these have evolved more,” replies Dinon. “Only time will tell.”

“Ah yes, the different possible futures. But they didn’t have any Guzilumans watching over them, in those futures.”

“Well Sikan, they will have them now. Shall we pick a human who will bear the first Guziluman then?”

“Of course. Which one do you have in mind?” says Sikan looking down at the group of humans dancing around the fire.

Dinon points out a female, sitting alone off to one side.

“Her, the one with the dark hair sitting alone,” explains Dinon. “She will bear the first of the Guziluman race.”

“Are you sure Dinon? She looks a bit weak to me…”

“She may look weak Sikan, but appearances can be deceiving. She will never even know how she became pregnant.”

“OK Dinon. It’s your choice. But in a thousand years when we return, I get to choose who will bear the next Guziluman.”

Dinon looks up at the night sky and a small bright light comes down, like a star that has left the heavens. One of the humans notices it and warns his fellows that the starry sky is about to rain down on them. They begin to panic and run off in different directions, while the small bright light targets the dark-haired woman and is absorbed into her stomach. The others notice what has happened to this poor woman, so they approach her, looking at her strangely. Then a male begins to beat her with his club. He is almost immediately followed by others, only stopping when the woman is dead. Dinon and Sikan look at each other in shock at what they have just witnessed.

“Oh dear Dinon, I never expected that to happen!”

“I forgot Sikan, they are Neanderthals!” Sikan places its face into the palm of its left hand, realising they are in the wrong era!

New York City, August 31st, 1988.

An ambulance has just left a car park in downtown Manhattan, heading for the local mortuary. Inside lies a black body bag on top of a trolley. The ambulance travels along the streets of Manhattan with the lit streetlamps shining down as it passes them, eventually stopping outside a building within viewing distance of the Hudson River. The two paramedics get out from the front of the vehicle and proceed towards the rear doors, open them, and pull out the body-bag laden trolley. They push the stretcher through the front entrance of the building, down a dimly lit corridor, through a set of double doors and straight into an autopsy suite. One of them manoeuvres the trolley next to an autopsy table, onto which they move the body bag. A morgue attendant walks towards the table and unzips the bag, opening it up to reveal the face of a clean-shaven white human male with a bald head. He is strikingly good looking, with no facial scars, but he has a massive six-inch hole in the middle of his chest.

 “Poor guy,” he mutters to himself, then turns to the paramedics “let’s get him out of the bag and ready for processing.”

Two hours later, the body is under a white sheet on a metal autopsy table. It is yet to be seen by one of the medical examiners.

In walks a tall woman wearing green scrubs. 5’11, she has brunette hair, brown eyes and a beautiful warm look to her face. Walking over to the desk in the corner of the room, she puts on a pair of spectacles, picks up a clipboard and carefully reads through the paperwork. Putting the clipboard down on the desk, she turns around and walks over to the autopsy table. She pulls back the white sheet, takes a long, careful look at the man then pulls out a Dictaphone from her left pocket and presses the record button.

“It is precisely 1:04 a.m. and the date is September 1st, 1988. This is Doctor Helen Walters reporting. Subject is a white male, late thirties, or early forties, identified as John Doe on his paperwork. The only visible trauma is a hole approximately” she measures the wound “six inches across, in the middle of his chest which goes completely through the torso. However, his spine appears to be perfectly intact.” she says into the Dictaphone. “From the report the paramedics gave, time of death was at 10:30pm precisely. Two and half hours ago, on 31st of August.”

From the corner of her eye, she notices a scalpel on the table start to vibrate. She looks down at it and suddenly the entire room begins to shake, as if an earthquake has hit the room. She falls to the floor, dropping the Dictaphone which breaks on impact.

“Damn it, I hope they haven’t started subway works already at this time of night!” she mutters to herself. She notices the Dictaphone has broken, picks it up and gets to her feet. Staring at the autopsy table, Helen notices the John Doe’s body begins to twitch slowly. Then a white aura starts to surround the entirety of the man’s body. Startled, Helen steps away from the table, looking at the body in horror. She sees the hole in man’s chest heal up as if it had never existed. Then the aura disappears and the man’s eyes open wide as he bolts upright, breathing in a gasp of air. It is as if she has seen Frankenstein’s monster risen before her. The man looks around and notices Helen standing there frightened out of her life. He looks down at his chest and sees that the hole has disappeared, then looks up and stares around the room, as if wondering how he got there. Looking at Helen, he starts speaking to her in an English accent.

“Greetings! My name is Hawken. Sorry if I've just scared you to death, but I would like to know - where on terra am I?”

Helen stares at him, with her eyes wide open. She then starts speaking to him slowly. “You were dead a minute ago, how in God’s name did you come back to life and what the hell are you?”

“I am a Guziluman” Hawken replies calmly to her.

“A what?” says Helen confused.

“Guziluman. I am one of a group of seven people who have a life span of four thousand years!” he says to her calmly.

“That is impossible, no one can live for four thousand years!” she argues, looking at him with shock.

“Well, my race can. You see we have these godlike powers, but they are really called Guzilkion. It is a part of what you would call our DNA. But we can’t live past our four thousand year life span.”

“Wait a minute, you’re telling me that you can live up to four thousand years? Also you can’t cheat your life span. Why are you telling me this?” she responds, understandably having difficulty taking this information in.

“Well you are the first human to witness me come back to life,” he explains, “but my life will end in the next twelve years anyway.”

“Oh right. So what you are saying is that you come to the end soon?”

“Yes. But at the moment I’m just trying to witness what I can in the time I have left before I depart this world.”

“Tell me, how did you end up in that car park?” she asks.

“Well, all I can remember is watching a fight between two drunk men outside a bar from across the street, when someone tapped me on my shoulder. As I turned around it went dark and I awoke in this room!” The man, Hawken, relates the story with a curious expression on his face.

 “So, you don’t know who or what put a hole in your chest?” Helen clarifies.

“I have no idea, but I will find out in due course!”

Getting up off the table, he looks around the room. “I would like to know where my clothes are?” he asks.

“They are with the forensics team, at the moment. I don’t have access to them.” she says, gazing at his naked body.

“Oh dear, lucky I left my wallet at home.” He replies. “Oh well, might as well find some clothes in this building then.”

“Well, I can get some spare scrubs for you from the storage room,” She says to him, “But when I get back, I want to know how you came to be, starting from the beginning.”

“Of course, I will tell you about my life from the beginning. By the way what is your name,” he politely asks her.

“My name is Helen Walters; however you can call me Helen,” she replies before leaving the room.

He watches her leave the room, then starts talking to himself. “Well, who ever tried to kill me is going to be very sorry! They picked on the wrong person to mess with, plus they will regret it if Zilstarr ever shows up and gets hold of them!”

[nevthereader]

books that fundamentally changed me that I'll talk about someday:

Neanderthal Opens the Doors to the Universe

The One Memory of Flora Banks

The Poisonwood Bible

The Raven Cycle (series)

The Catcher in the Rye

The Memory Keeper's Daughter

[butterpuffed]

hey did you know that Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started, wait The earth began to cool, the autotrophs began to drool Neanderthals developed tools We built a wall (we built the pyramids) Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries That all started with the big bang (bang)

Since the dawn of man is really not that long As every galaxy was formed in less time than it takes to sing this song A fraction of a second and the elements were made The bipeds stood up straight, the dinosaurs all met their fate They tried to leap but they were late And they all died (they froze their asses off) The oceans and Pangea, see ya wouldn't wanna be ya Set in motion by the same big bang It all started with the big bang

It's expanding ever outward but one day It will pause and start to go the other way Collapsing ever inward, we won't be here, it won't be heard Our best and brightest figure that it'll make an even bigger bang

Australopithecus would really have been sick of us Debating how we're here, they're catching deer (we're catching viruses) Religion or astronomy (Descartes or Deuteronomy) It all started with the big bang

Music and mythology, Einstein and astrology It all started with the big bang It all started with the big bang

No, but did you know Whoooooaaaa - oh - oh - oh - oh - oh - oh - oh -oh - oh

Story of Undertale.

I fell from the light.

Talk or should I fight?

Monster genocide.

This my Undertale.

I fell through a cave on Mount Ebott,

I faced an evil, talking' flower in a pot,

Explains the plot,

Wants me dead, wants me to rot.

Toriel saves me, takes me to her home,

And hooks me up with a brand new monster phone,

Leaves me alone,

But I escape and meet some bones.

Should I be a pacifist?

Or should I use my fists?

I'm feeling evil, think I'll kill them all.

I'm homicidal, and I've got a taste,

I want to wipe out the Monster race.

I've got no patience, got no resolve,

I will slaughter, screw the dialogue.

I fell from the light.

Talk or Should I fight?

Monster genocide.

This my Undertale.

I'll slaughter Undyne, I'll waste who I choose.

Find more lyrics at ※ Mojim.com

With all this EXP there's no way that I'll lose.

Now watch me move,

I won't stop I'm feelin' rude.

Asgore is shaking, he hears my approach,

I'll slaughter Sans and squash his bro like a roach,

Chara's my coach,

All these monsters I will poach.

Screw being pacifist.

I think I'll use my fists.

I'm feeling evil, think I'll kill them all.

I'm homicidal, and I've got a taste,

I want to wipe out the Monster race.

I've got no patience, got no resolve,

I will slaughter, screw the dialogue.

Burnt pan, toy knife, use a stick to take your life.

Tough glove, ballet shoes, epic fight like front page news.

King Asgore wants to collect human souls,

Seven of them, is his ultimate goal.

Open the door, to humanity's realm,

Start a new war, humans overwhelm.

I'm homicidal, and I've got a taste,

I want to wipe out the Monster race.

I've got no patience, got no resolve,

I will slaughter, screw the dialogue

[piratespencil]

2, 3, 4, 17 for the book ask!

2. Did you reread anything? What?

Several things, actually! I reread two of my favourite childhood French books, Amos Daragon: Porteur de masques by Bryan Perro and À cheval les filles! by Stéphanie Ledu, which were both super nostalgic.

I also reread two of Preston Norton's books, Where I End & You Begin (one of my favourite books of all time!) and Neanderthal Opens the Door to the Universe. Also This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone (fantastic book), the Chaos Walking series by Patrick Ness (INCREDIBLE series), Nimona by N.D. Stevenson (iconic), the All for the Game series by Nora Sakavic (also super nostalgic), The Less than Epic Adventures of TJ and Amal comic by E.K. Weaver (ALSO incredibly nostalgic), AND on top of all that I started rereading both One Piece and Scott Pilgrim towards the end of the year.

This is wild actually because I don't think of myself as someone who rereads books a lot but when I looked at everything I'd read this year I was like huh... I did reread a lot of stuff. Anyways all of these were good enough to make me want to reread them, so check 'em out!

(Putting the rest under a read more so this doesn't get too long!)

3. What were your top five books of the year?

Ooh this is always such a tough question. Let's see...

5) The Last True Poets of the Sea by Julia Drake: Really loved this book. Romancy YA contemporary is not usually my genre but this one is just so beautifully written and interesting. It rewired my brain a little bit.

4) The Thief by Megan Whalen Turner: I read most of this series this year and I liked it a lot! The first book is by far my favourite, though. Love Gen's voice, love the plot twists, love that it's lowkey a fantasy roadtrip. Highly recommend.

3) Dungeon Meshi by Ryoko Kui: I started reading Dungeon Meshi this year and I'm loving it so much! Definitely the best new manga series I've gotten into in a long time.

2) Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir: Very cool scifi! I love Rocky so much. There's some apocalyptic stuff happening in this book but it ends up being a surprisingly wholesome story about friendship beyond the stars...

1) To Be Taught If Fortunate by Becky Chambers: Speaking of apocalyptic but oddly wholesome scifi... This book is kind of in a similar vein to Project Hail Mary, but more about human friendship than alien friendship. It's a weird little novella about making impossible choices in difficult situations but I loved it so so much. One of my top two Becky Chambers books, and I love all her books.

(I chose not to include rereads on this list, but if i did then Where I End & You Begin, This Is How You Lose the Time War, Chaos Walking, and TJ and Amal would absolutely have to be on this list, too.)

4. Did you discover any new authors that you love this year?

Hm, I didn't really dig deep into any new authors this year... Though I enjoyed Project Hail Mary so much that I'll definitely be checking out Andy Weir's other books.

17. Did any books surprise you with how good they were?

Project Hail Mary surprised me! I'd watched The Martian and enjoyed it, so I always thought maybe I'd check out the book, but I've only recently gotten into scifi and I wasn't sure if it was the kind of scifi I'd enjoy reading, you know? But multiple friends told me Project Hail Mary was really good and I'd really enjoy it, so I gave it a try, even though it wasn't something I think I would have picked up on my own. But I really loved it! Scifi in general is a genre that has surprised me with how much I enjoy it, actually.

[mieczyhale]

"I was crying. I was crying for the whole world to see, but I didn't care. Because when you want to die, it doesn't matter who sees anything."

-"Neanderthal Opens the Door to the Universe" by Preston Norton

[queer-and-dear-books]

Title: Neanderthal Opens The Door To The Universe

Author: Preston Norton

Genre: YA Fiction | Romance | Friendship | Drama | Mystery

Content Warnings: Homophobia | Suicide | Bullying

Overall Rating: 9.4/10

Personal Opinion: Hilarious, enrapturing, and thrilling. Every page of this book makes you want to read more. Cliff is an ordinary high schooler, as ordinary as the fat guy whose brother killed himself can be anyway. He goes through life at Happy Valley High School with his head down but that all changes when the most popular guy at school, Aaron, enlists his help for changing the school for the better as invoked by God. Yeah, it sounds weird so you’ll just have to read it to understand it. I promise you will love this book.

Do I Own This Book? Honestly, I kind of want to. This was a fantastic read.

Spoilers Below For My Likes & Dislikes:

Likes:

- I’m sort of rendered speechless. I enjoyed this book a lot, as evident by how I just couldn’t put it down and had to know what happened next. In this book, we are set with two mysteries at once. The first is, “Why did Shane kill himself?” I didn’t even realize it was a big mystery until halfway through though because it didn’t seem to be prevalent to the events that were currently taking place which is stupid because duh, of course it was! The second mystery occurred after the List was shown. Who is HAL? After all, prior to the List, Cliff went through all the other horrible people at HVHS. We saw Niko steal Jack’s 3DS, Spinelli not giving a fuck about teaching, the JTs shutting down the possibility of a GSA being an actual club, and Frankie’s gang dealing weed and harassing people. So we were more than well-aware of how terrible they all were. But we had no idea who HAL was until after Aaron showed us the List. However, when Cliff mentioned the wild pranks HAL pulled, it should have been obvious because one thing was revealed prior to this… Shane’s pranks. So it was already a hint. Shane’s sense of humor would obviously align with his brother who was his best friend so of course all of HAL’s pranks would be seen as awesome to Cliff. All of this was set up so well and the pay off was honestly brilliant. The fact that Cliff was the catalyst for all of these people actually changing was so well thought out too. It’s because Cliff  apologized to Niko, because he got Tegan to talk about her feelings concerning Frankie’s drug dealing, because he went to Spinelli and spoke with him candidly about life, because he delivered that heart-wrenching speech during the Sermon Showdown, and because he sent that video link to HAL that all these changes happened. A king. An empathetic, big-hearted king. He’s the reason Happy Valley High School has become a better place and it’s honestly so heartwarming that a single person can enact so much change. Of course, not without the help of people like Aaron and Tegan too. His best friend and his girlfriend.

- Fuck, dude, I said all that in the first bullet point and I don’t really know how to continue from there. I think I’ll start with Shane’s suicide. There were a lot of hints leading up to it. To start, his dad is a homophobe. But why put so much emphasis on the homophobic rants that his dad gives to Cliff who is a straight guy, as confirmed by his attraction to Lacey, Tegan, and even Esther? It’s because Shane was the one who was actually queer. And this one’s a big one, Shane only interacted with two characters as Cliff had told us. Those people were Spinelli (obviously not the love interest) and Noah (who is, of course, openly gay and was Shane’s tutor, therefore they inevitably became close). Then comes Shane’s journal. From how he wrote, it was clear that being attracted to “Haley” filled him with shame. He later calls himself a liar because he says he hasn’t told the journal shit AKA, he was misgendering Hal because he was afraid that his dad or brother would find the journal and think less of him. All the hints were there. And even the hints for Noah being HAL. He’s obviously smart as he was a tutor. He walked out of the Sermon Showdown and HAL had given Cliff a video to use against Esther. His sister. It would be easy for him to get dirt on her as he lived with her. I wasn’t completely sure for a long time but the pieces were all there. They fit into place so perfectly but I was afraid  I was wrong because the name “Haley” was the only thing that threw me off. Where did Shane get that name? And then Noah’s middle initial appeared in that textbook, the one Cliff had assumed belonged to Shane. It was the one missing piece that I couldn’t find and it was because Norton withheld it until the very end! Once we got it, all the other pieces easily fell into place and perfected the puzzle. It solved both massive mysteries and gave us the full picture and it was one hell of a payoff. Especially when they thought Noah was going to kill himself like Shane. I can’t even blame Cliff for thinking that. I mean, when Noah asked him, “What would you tell Shane if you could see him right now?” it’s hard to imagine he wasn’t going to kill himself. I’m so glad they were wrong and I’m glad Esther realized how wrong she had been because she’d almost lost her brother. She claims to love him and Cliff is right, she has a funny way of showing it.

- Cliff grew up to be a really amazing man despite his poor upbringing and his deadbeat, abusive, alcoholic dad. And I think it’s because of Shane and his mom. They taught him to be kind and to stand up for what he believes in. His mom made mistakes. It was because she never tried to stop her husband from saying all those nasty things that Shane ended up with so much self-loathing. She didn’t know that but she had suspicions. It shattered her heart and it was because Cliff brought up the fact that Shane might’ve hated her that she realized she had to fight to amend those errors. She’s a funny and kind-hearted woman and it’s so evident from the way she loves people and interacts with her son. She’s a badass too. When she broke a plate and held a shard to her husband when he grabbed Cliff by the collar, it was some queen shit. Then she shattered his beers, pointed a broken bottle at him, almost destroyed his precious TV, and straight-up ignored his whole existence. She was probably hoping that he’d take this as a sign to change and clean up his act but never did. So she had enough and she left with Cliff. As she should! I’m glad that son of a bitch got what he deserved and she learned to be a better mom.

- Speaking more on Cliff’s A+ upbringing. He feared his own violent side for one thing. But I think, much more significantly, was the way he interacted with others. When Tegan reminded him not to forget about “the people” on the List instead of focusing so much on simply accomplishing everything on the List, it resulted in him going to people and considering their feelings. He apologized to so many people and he even did Spinelli’s overgrown lawn for him! Cliff was already kind but because of Tegan’s words, he became even more empathetic toward the people that needed it most. And they changed for real because of it.

- Tegan is awesome. I wasn’t so sure about her because she seemed like she was sexually harassing Cliff but I did figure she genuinely liked him. The fact that she admitted she was bad at flirting and mimicked the way her brother talked to girls was very enlightening. Most importantly though, she said sorry for treating Cliff as a sex object. And for possibly making him uncomfortable. She had no idea how he felt about it, he never brought it up, and he was even dating her! But she took accountability for those unsavory actions and I love and appreciate it so much. And Cliff didn’t tell her it was okay either. He just said he forgave her. And I’m glad because that is the correct response. The big theme in this book is that people can do better. They can BE better. And empathy is so important. And in this book, they were so consistent with it. With Zeke apologizing to Robin for his homophobia, with Niko confessing that he was afraid of everything so he made others afraid instead to pretend he was tougher than he actually was, and Frankie crying to the whole school as he apologized to Tegan. That Sermon Showdown was truly something else. Jack started a bit of his own revolution when he went up to the podium, after they lost the video, and said he had never seen people care as much as Cliff and Aaron did. It was obvious that everyone had seen it too. Aaron was a total douchebag (evidence courtesy of Esther’s slanderous video) before the List. He shamed so many women for their bodies and sexually harassed multiple people. “Consent applies to people who aren’t irresistible” is the most disgusting thing I have ever read. But actions speak louder than words and he proved he changed. And everyone noticed it. They saw how he had changed after he got the List. And Cliff was just Neanderthal to everyone. He was the fat kid. The one whose brother killed himself. The guy who ignored everyone. But he was up on that podium and he read Shane’s letter in front of the whole school. A letter that was about caring for others. And Cliff added his very own eloquent interpretation that just had my heart swelling. It just felt so important. The lesson of empathy. And I think Cliff and Aaron and everyone in that hellhole of a school learned it well. I have so much respect for that. Because oh my god, all these people were so shitty before the List. Every single one of them. But they changed and I love that. Character development.

- Have I mentioned that Tegan is awesome? She beat up her own brother for selling heroin because as she said, it was because of dangerous and addictive drugs like that that their mother walked out on the family. That bitch is even the one who gave Shane the gun that killed him. He was under eighteen! She should’ve never sold it to him but she did to get cocaine. If Shane never had access to a gun, then he would have had more time. Maybe, just maybe, Noah would’ve been able to break through and convince him to get help. I went off on a wild tangent. Uh, Tegan. She beat up Frankie, a ripped, inked drug dealer and convinced him to stop dealing the dangerous stuff. She went off in Esther’s face and told her that Cliff was going to destroy the JTs with his sermon. She is so supportive and hilarious with her comments. She even called Aaron “A-Aaron” lmfao! A queen fit for her king.

- Listen, the comedy in this book is insane to me. Like it’s so good. Cliff is one hell of a wild narrator. The way he tried to act innocent after texting Lacey to come over by staring at the breasts on a poster! Or whenever he paraphrased shit like the HOA letter or the JTs “protests.” But I love that Cliff is more than just comedic. He is so intelligent which seems contrary to his appearance but he is! He knows words that I’ve never known. He’s well-spoken despite fearing public speaking and he considers others a lot. I love him as the protagonist so much.

- I almost forgot to say it, Lacey is a surprise MVP. If she hadn’t returned Cliff’s “lucky” hoodie when she did, he would have lost the Sermon Showdown. If she hadn’t ripped such a massive hole inside of that pocket, he might have never found Shane’s birthday note! It was such an epic turn of events and the fact that it was all because Cliff tried to do something nice for Aaron and Lacey. Empathy and kindness are truly the kings of themes in this novel and I appreciate it so goddamn much.

Dislikes:

- Aaron, pre-List, is vomit-worthy in every sense of the word like holy shit. The body-shaming is one thing but he fucking cheated on Lacey! And he cheated on her on her birthday! With her best friend Heather! She walked in on them! They never talked about it again! Obviously, Aaron was already going through the throes of development because he told everyone they were all assholes for talking shit about Cliff but when the accident put him in a coma and he woke up with the List, he did a full 180. Do not get me wrong, I still think he is a piece of shit. But the theme of this story is “change.” Humans are capable of changing and he changed. He knew what he did was shitty. And he realized that he was shitty. He loathed himself despite his immense popularity. And I appreciate that. But again, let me reiterate, pre-List Aaron? Revolting. Truly.

- I wonder if Niko changed way too easily. But I guess no one’s ever stood up to him like that and then fucking apologized for it too. And then Cliff welcomed him to their table easily with a simple question of “which superhero is superior? Superman, Batman, or Spider-Man?” Also, respect to his answer of Wolverine. And when he walked up to the podium and corrected Esther for calling him black when he’s Polynesian. I mean, his last name is fucking Kaleoikaikalani which is like three whole Polynesian surnames in one! I don’t know, I respect him a lot too and again, one of the big themes in this book is change. It would be wrong of me to accept the change in one person while dismissing another. Same with Esther even though she’s a total bitch. She’s a work in progress though so that’s different. Plus, the catalyst for her change was not really Cliff. I mean, it was very much partly him because he told her off for the way she treated her gay brother. But the true thing that caused her to change was the realization that she almost was the reason Noah committed suicide. She almost lost someone she loved because of the hate she spewed. And now, she’s in the process of learning.

- Did we have to lose a MLM for this story to take place? I had a feeling Shane was queer but I want to know more about his relationship with Noah! I mean, I might not have liked Shane too much if I saw more of his POV considering he banged 13 girls and didn’t care for any of them. But he loved Noah. Like, he admitted it! He was in love with Noah. Wow. It’s kind of hard for me to say I hate that he killed himself though because he was surrounded by the JTs and his dad. And he never liked boys before so obviously, he was very conflicted. Noah dealt with the hate his whole life. He knew how to deal with it. Shane didn’t. But god, I hate that we lost a MLM.

- Speaking on that! Who the fuck was the other dude in the stall with Noah? Apparently Noah was giving him a coming-out pep talk and according to Cliff, they were both dudes so it couldn’t have been Robin. Unless Robin’s trans and was using the incorrect toilet to talk to Noah. But nah, probably not, because this author doesn’t seem the type to misgender a trans person even by accident. Plus, it only said that Robin came out. It didn’t say she was trans. So who was Noah talking to? I guess it’s not relevant to the story but it does mean there’s another MLM at their school and I am so curious as to whomst.

- Why is there so much sex? Is this how straight people think? I just don’t get it. Esther’s whole personality would’ve been such a turn-off for me but here’s Cliff out here calling her a babe. And then we have Aaron’s room covered in posters with swimsuit models! It just seems so gross to me but maybe that’s because I’m gay, who knows. Oh, there’s also the gross implication that Shane just used girls for sex and Frankie hit on women by treating them like sex objects. Again, they changed for the better, I assume so like, whatever. Aaron should really consider redecorating though.

- Esther and the JTs are disgusting. They cheated in the Sermon Showdown because they were afraid of losing that much? And she tried to drag both Aaron and Cliff in that disgusting video after they both changed. It was after Cliff and Aaron decided against using revenge porn on Esther too! Which I respect. If they did that to her and Zeke, I’d have lost all my respect for them. I can’t believe Noah sent that to them. Actually, considering what the JTs did to the GSA, I can.

[cluuny]

📚 for the ask game?

📚 book

NEANDERTHAL OPENS THE DOOR TO THE UNIVERSE BY PRESTON NORTON RAHHHHHHH

[hermitcraft-8]

11 and 25 for the pride asks?

Favorite (or just one you love) piece of LGBT media?

can i count 'neanderthal opens the door to the universe' by preston newton? if not then. idk fucking empires smp

and i already answered 25

[fizzychocolatemilk]

This is set up like a fic rec, but this time I’m recommending an actual book. I finished it today actually, and it was one of the best books I’ve ever read. The book is Neanderthal Opens the Door to the Universe by Preston Norton and it is AMAZING. It follows the story of Cliff Hubbard, who is this broad-built high school loser that everyone calls “Neanderthal”, as he eventually finds meaning in his life with the help of one of his bullies (eventually friend), after his brother (who was his only friend) committed suicide.

The story is complex and diverse in a way that I feel like it would hold the attention of and resonate with almost anyone. The major theme is finding meaning in life, and to convey this theme, the author included many different narratives and situations while still managing to keep the book from becoming too info-loaded.  This book is inclusive in a good way; it represents several minority groups (and their struggles) without being overt and obvious. Those people are just there, and are significant for reasons other than the fact that they’re gay or they aren’t white. The plot is complex enough to be surprising and interesting, without being confusing, it builds to the climax very well, and the action leading to the conclusion is meaningful and satisfying.

I really like how most of the characters are dynamic without being overwhelming. They have flaws and are noticeably human, which just adds to the secondary theme that we can be better than we are right now. The author commandeers several character arcs with an amazing precision that makes all of the characters likable (even the ones that started out horrible) and their motivations and stories understood.

Not to mention the author managed to include many heavy topics (including grief, bullying, suicide, homophobia, domestic abuse, drug abuse, sexual harassment, body shaming, etc) within the story and pull them all together under one moniker — the human experience. And while all of these are bad things and make humanity seem lost and broken and horrible, the author also managed to convey that humanity is good, that we have the ability to love, forgive, atone, support, and heal.

This is just a really amazing book. It made me laugh, it made me cry, it made me think. And I just think that it’s kind of timeless. It’s happy, and sad, and frustrating, and bittersweet — but that’s life. And that’s really freaking cool.

[thighridingsamu]

i finished this book last night and WOW, it’s the best i’ve read so far in 2021. genuinely loved the plot and i’ve never read anything like it. and the humor is amazing, it talks about realistic-ish, it is a bit dramatized bc its a work of fiction but thats besides the point issues, and the lgbtq representation made me happy. i found out the author himself is bisexual and genderqueer, and has written at least one other lgbtq book which im totally gonna read soon eeeeeee

[formerly-evil]

Welp

The tradition is kept alive

Fifth year in a row

This year’s star: Not my problem

Kinda cool

But I swear i am so not getting another political book next year