#the only thing i understand about dnd is the dm. the rest scares me

[naturaltalent-a]

from what i know about D&D which is nothing,  i feel like coraline would be an insane dungeons master  -   she gets very involved in her own writing and super hyped, and putting work in an adventure and this sort of thing and getting the energy back would be a huge confidence boost and be a really good stepping stone for sharing her work, especially in such an interactive way that keeps her mind focused.  it’d go from “i have no idea whats going on” to “what do i have to do to sit there *points at head of the table* i want that job” SIDOFHSOHFSODF

[your-turn-to-role]

This is coming from a place of genuine confusion....but why does a sect of the fandom dislike Marisha so much?? Like, I haven't seen it for ANY of the other players. Is it a "wife/girlfriend of the DM" complex, because I've seen that before. Idk, I don't get it, and no amount of googling has made me understand lol.

yeahhhhhhh

okay, to preface, i absolutely disagree with all of the marisha hate, i think she's a great player and is really unfairly treated

but a couple reasons why this tends to be a thing:

1) just plain old regular misogyny, yeah. all the girls on cr get it to an extent, but it's stronger with marisha - the idea that dnd is inherently a man's game and therefore no woman could be good at it is pervasive even in this fandom, not outright, but in subtle things, like how people give the guys a lot more leeway to do dumb shit than the girls, and on dnd posts in the past i've seen comments like "this reads like how laura and marisha would describe dnd while their husbands facepalm in the background", which like... isn't really harmful on the surface, but i have a hard time imagining matt and especially travis ever facepalming at their wives genuine ideas? like if it's obviously meant to be something ridiculous and not taken seriously, sure, but otherwise, that subtle implication that they see travis as a better player than laura is just way off. (and matt has more dnd experience than marisha but like... she's still a very good player)

2) the keyleth instinct. so here's the thing about campaign one and the characters they chose to play - the majority of the cast played within their comfort zone. they branched out a lot for c2, and obviously they as people aren't identical to their vox machina counterparts, but they're not too far away either. liam's stated he irl would be a rogue, taliesin likes playing intelligent edgy teenage assholes bc he was one, laura is a bit more goofy than vex but she still thinks a lot the same, scanlan is very sam, travis is obviously a lot smarter than grog but he still fell very in line with the kind of character travis is comfortable playing and the things he wants to explore.

but marisha chose a character in campaign one who was completely the opposite of her natural self. marisha is confident and very take no shit and a natural leader, keyleth is awkward and shy and doubts herself and overthinks things and has really bad luck in basically everything she ever tries. and people watched campaign one and assumed all of those traits were just the way marisha was. if you aren't drawn to keyleth as a character, it's relatively easy to find ways to hate her (which again circles back to the misogyny a bit). they see keyleth constantly fuck up due to awkwardness and think "marisha doesn't know how to play the game". they see keyleth be a mess of a person socially and think "wow marisha's not a very good actor if she can't handle this", completely ignoring the fact that she is acting very well and it's proven by the fact that they think keyleth is marisha

(and while she still gets hate as either character, the keyleth hate was far worse than the beau hate)

3) people just, not getting what she's doing. i wasn't in the fandom for the early days of cr2, but i have friends who were, and they've said there were circles of the fandom where everything marisha did was in question, even people not believing beau was a lesbian when it's made obvious in episode one, because what if she's doing it on purpose as a scam? and like, to broaden that a bit, i think marisha's characters and their decisions get misread a lot. i personally happen to find both beau and keyleth very relatable, so i usually get where they're coming from (mostly, bowlgate i was more on caleb's side there, but i still don't think she deserves hate for it), but to people who don't, or just haven't put effort into trying to understand marisha's characters, then between keyleth's awkwardness and beau's abrasiveness i think the majority of what they pick up from marisha's characters is negative

which is a shame, because they're both really good, well thought out, interesting characters.

4) this is going into my own meta for a bit, but, something i've found about marisha's characters is they're quite down to earth and very easily the viewpoint character of the group, in a way? like obviously it's an ensemble cast, but like... let's take keyleth. campaign one starts and ends with her. the very first adventure is triggered by her leaving home for the first time, to start her aramente. she's led a sheltered life up to this point, she doesn't know the world she's walking into - so we learn about this fantasy world at the same time she does. she has the most linear and easy to follow development, her aramente spans most of the story, and once it's done things only get more centered on her. she's now a leader of her people, she's fulfilled her destiny, but that means she lives so long all her worst fears are coming true - that she'll have to spend the rest of her life alone. how did we learn this was her biggest fear? because she's been scared since the start of losing vax, but the reason she has him at all is she resolved to not let that fear control her. and then as the endgame comes in, she suddenly has to face that head on. vax has a week left to live. barely two days after, they run into sprigg - someone who lived so long after all his friends died that he's lost himself, forgotten them, become a hermit of a person who's just living because he's got nothing better to do - everything keyleth believes she will become, and fears so much. but he proves she can still choose to remember them, and choose to live in their absence, not just survive. keyleth is the one who seals away vecna, who's grown so much in her power since that little scared druid girl, she can banish a god. and our story ends with her, and her father, and a raven - she's moving on, she's living, she's thriving, but she'll never forget.

if i was gonna write out vox machina's story as a novel, there is no character who would better suit being the protagonist than her

it's a bit less strong with beau, but she's still one of the more relatable characters, she's a human, who had a rebellious teenage years because of shitty overbearing parents, she's not a magic user, she's from the country we start in (and doesn't have a dark dangerous mystical secret like caleb and veth), a lot of the big turning points in the story have had her take the lead, it's the relative mundanity that gives a contrast to and lifts up the others, while still being a highly interesting character in her own right. beau is a grounding force of the mighty nein.

i personally like those kinds of characters, but i've noticed in almost all fandoms with a main character and then a group of side characters, the main character is rarely anyone's fave, overlooked in favour more (subjectively) interesting side characters, but then because the story puts the focus on the main character, people get sick of them and start to hate them? and in this form of storytelling, there is no main character, but people sorta do that to those kinds of characters anyway. and in addition to all the other marisha stuff, that probably contributes

[emmettspeakz]

Gotta Love DnD, Victor

Love Victor fanfic

Summary: It’s a week after Victor has come out to his family and a few friends, but they haven’t really acknowledged it one way or another. Desperate to help get his friend’s mind off of his family’s reaction (or lack of a reaction) to his coming out, Felix designs a DnD campaign that Victor, Bram, and Simon can play, with Felix as the DM. Fun and crazy stuff ensues. 

Hope y’all enjoy <3

“So how do we do this? All I got are dice.” Bram asks through Felix’s computer screen, holding lime-green crystal dice up to the camera. He and Simon are sitting on the couch in the middle of their apartment, with no space between them. Victor couldn’t help but feel like they were the perfect couple, and hoped that one day Benji and him could be the same way.

It was the weekend after Victor had come out to his family and they had started acting like he hadn’t said anything at all. Victor felt like right now that was for the best, as he didn’t really wanna talk about it anymore either. Things were weird with Mia and Lake, because although she had declared her love for Felix, Lake wasn’t talking to Victor at all, in solidarity and die-hard friendship fashion for Mia. Benji had sent him sweet text messages this week like “hang in there” or “hair looks great today bud” and that would help a bit, but also Victor couldn’t shake the feelings of regret and pain away. That’s how this weekend had happened. Felix had insisted they play DnD to get his mind off things. But because Victor and Felix couldn’t afford to go back to New York, they were somehow trying to do DnD through Skype. It wasn’t working all that well, but god damn it if Felix wasn’t gonna let Victor mope around his house anymore.

“It’s not that difficult now that you guys told me what classes you wanted to be. I think you all should give your characters names though. It’s not creative if you’re just Victor and Bram and Simon.”

Simon gave Felix a look through the webcam, raising his eyebrows.

“No offense.” Felix replied, awkwardly. Felix had moved all the newspapers his mother had collected into the supply closet to make room on the coffee table for DnD, but the closet had reached capacity and Victor worried it would comically burst open like their lives were a part of a cartoon.

“Nice to meet you two by the way. You guys...are—”

While Felix was talking, the couple maintained eye contact with him as Simon rested his head on Bram’s shoulder.

“Right, okay.”

“Felix! You know they’re boyfriends!” Victor called out, sounding more like his teasing self than he has all week.

“I still can’t believe that you never told me you went to New York! The Big Apple? Times Square? You know how much I love Broadway!”

“Well you guys will just have to come visit us again sometime.” Bram suggested, putting his arm around his boyfriend affectionately.

“Alright so let’s start.” Victor said, not wanting to be reminded of the trip that made him lie to his then-girlfriend.

“Okay, so Bram you’re a paladin—” Felix began before he was cut off.

“Paladin? I’m definitely not just brawns!” Bram protested.

“You picked your character!” Victor laughed.

“I know but I think I’m a bit more of a—”

“No, no, no, no. I sent you a character sheet, you filled it out and sent it back to me and then I added the modifiers and all the technical stuff and sent it back to you, so it’s finalized!” Felix said, all his words jumbled together in a long string, sounding hyperactive as usual. “Now,” Felix continued, grabbing a D20 die from on top of his brown coffee table. “Let’s do this.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I don’t know much about DnD, but I do know that the DM can’t play too.” Victor said, grabbing Felix’s hand tightly.

“Oh c’mon, let me play Victor! I need this! I haven’t seen Lake in—”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t remind me. Just roll dice when you’re supposed to, DM Felix.”

“Fine, fine, fine, fine,” Felix said, moving a hand through his hair. “Let’s start with this.”

He had four plastic figures, three of them representing Bram, Simon, Victor, and then one representing a figure that Felix started to describe as the Demigorgon before Victor told him to pick something else ‘cause that was “too Stranger Things”.

“Wait, wait, wait. Which character am I again?” Simon interjected before playing had even begun.

“You’re the warlock, the one with a staff, represented by the purple figure on the table.” Felix explained briskly so they could move onto actual gameplay. Simon nodded in understanding and sat back on the couch, letting Felix do his thing.

“Anyway, this big—” Felix met Victor’s gaze “—monster straight out of the movie Alien—”

Victor couldn’t help but laugh, not about Felix’s uncreativeness or lack of forethought about monsters, but the fact that he was the only straight boy in this group and he happened to somehow be the nerdiest one of all four of them.

“You mean gay out of the movie alien?” Simon asked, thinking the same thing Victor was. Victor, Bram, and Simon burst into laughter and all Felix could do was bite his lip awkwardly at the joke.

“Okay so Boris the Brave, Seamus the Strong, and Vladimir the Valiant—”

“Wait, those are our names?” Bram asked, chuckling.

“You guys didn’t pick your names so I made something up on the spot. Now stop interrupting!”

Simon and Bram put their hands up defensively, almost at the same time and Victor chuckled at that. Watching them over the call, Victor was just in awe by them. He guessed that when you were in a relationship for 2+ years, you started acting like the other person. It was weirdly sweet and Victor couldn’t get enough of it. This was what it was supposed to be like to love someone like he did. Maybe one day him and Benji would be that close, would be so love that they were in total sync. It sucked that he was jealous of them, but he was.

“So you guys are traveling through this cave and this big monster thing that looks like it’s from Alien jumps out and lunges at you. Bram, your action.”

“Uh, can I throw Simon at it?”

“Hey!”

“You can if you’d like.” Felix responds. But Bram is shaking his head.

“Can I sing to it?” Victor jokes, smiling brighter than he has in days, his cheeks burning. And when Felix glares at him he simply responds, “What? Isn’t that all that Bards can do in battle?”

“Y’know what, roll for that.”

“For what?”

“Performance! C’mon, you know this! I went over it with you every single day this week during lunch!”

Victor chuckles as Felix puts his blue die into his hand. Victor gives it a good shake before he throws it onto the table.

“10.”

Fellix then takes his own die and rolls his own number.

“I got 15, so that did not hit. The Alien is still awake, and none of its stats have been altered.”

“Nice try Victor!” Simon said encouragingly, before turning to his boyfriend. “Maybe this is a job for a paladin?”

“Okay, I’ll try. Um, I’m going to attack the Alien with my sword.”

“Okay, roll for strength, then add your modifier from your character sheet.” Felix said.

Bram ironically cracked his knuckles before taking his die and rolling, which both Victor and Simon found amusing.

“Uh, 14. Plus my strength modifier which is +2.”

“Okay, you definitely hit it. Now roll for damage given.”

Bram looked blankly at Felix.

“Just, roll the die again to see how much damage you deal on the Alien.”

“Oh, gotcha.”

Bram rolls again.

“Uh, 9. Is that with the modifier still or no?”

“Not this time, but you’ve dealt 9d sword damage to the Alien, which means you’ve been spotted and Simon’s character can’t use his stealth to get away anymore.”

“What? We could’ve snuck around it?” Bram grumbled, throwing his hands up in the air.

“It’s an open-world kind of game, man. You gotta think outside of the box.” Felix replied pointedly. Bram sighed and handed the die to Simon, who chose to roll for dexterity, to run away from the alien.

“Isn’t Bram the athlete?” Victor teases him.

“Yeah! But you’re just gonna run away from the alien and leave us to die from it?”

“No! If this works, I’m gonna go find the next village and see if there’s anyone who can help us.”

“Alright, roll for that.” Felix says.

Simon shakes the die like Bram did, but with a bit more vigor and then throws it down on his coffee table.

“Uh…it’s a nat 20!” Simon cheers, but he looks nervous.

“I’m trusting you here!” Felix reminds him. “I can’t actually see your die, but you better be honest with me!”

“It’s a one.” Bram informs his DM, looking scared at what outcome this will yield as he grabs Simon’s arm and squeezes it tightly toward his body.

“Bram!”

“Simon, they’re our friends! We can’t lie to them!”

“Fine,” Simon grumbles. “I just hope we’re not screwed now.”

“So Simon, since you got rolled a 1, you’re getting the energy to run away and then slip and fall and yell, ‘fuck!’ just as loudly as you can, so now the Alien has turned on you.”

“Oh shit!” Simon yells, almost proving Felix’s point.

It takes a little while before anyone knows what to do to stop the monster, and since it’s the afternoon and the boys haven’t eaten anything, they take a break for some pizza delivery before going back to the game.

“I’m gonna try to hit it again.” Bram says when they sit back down to it. It’s been hours since they started the game and all they’ve done is fight this one monster, but Victor doesn’t care. He hasn’t thought a bit about what going back to his house is gonna be like and frankly he doesn’t care. He’s enjoying this nerdy time with his friends and wish it could never stop.

“Roll for strength.”

Bram does.

“Ugh, 3!”

“Is that with or without the modifier?” Felix asks. Luckily it’s without.

“So 5? That does not hit. Now you’ve made the Alien all angry though.”

“Ugh, what now?”

“Victor, your turn again.” Felix tells him, handing him his blue die. “What’s your action?”

“I’m gonna see if maybe I can appeal to a nearby animal for help.” Victor says, sounding just like a bard. Felix can’t help but laugh, but it’s a sound strategy, as nothing else has worked out for them yet.

“Roll for performance.” Felix says.

Victor shakes the die and then drops it onto the table. It moves around and around like a spinning top. It’s moving so fast, but at one point it looks like it’s gonna be a nat 20 before it tips the opposite direction. Victor sighs in disappointment before he realizes it has landed on 18.

“What, no way!” Victor cries out, holding his hands up high towards the ceiling. “That’s a nat 20 right?”

“Well, it is a 20, but not a natural 20. You definitely got some animal’s attention. A wolf-bat hybrid creature comes out of its den in the cave and you ask it to help you and your friends get out of the cave. And it’s happy you asked it for help, so it starts leading you out of the cave and away from the alien. Just then—”

“What? Just then, nothing. I rolled a 20, you can’t have something happen to us now!” Victor cries out.

“It’s my game, I can do whatever I want.” Felix replies his voice light and teasing.

“There’s a sudden earthquake and huge rocks start falling down upon all of you. All of you roll for dexterity to get out of the way of the falling rocks and catch up with the wolf-bat hybrid to get to safety.”

Simon rolls, then Bram and Victor roll simultaneously. Simon rolls a 7, Bram a 13, and Victor gets an 11.

“Since Bram made it above 12, he has to help Simon out of the cave after he gets hit on the back of the head once with a rock. Victor leads the group to safety with the help of the wolf-bat hybrid and it’s on to the next village. End of game 1.”

“Wow! What an awesome game Felix!” Bram remarks.

“This was really fun you guys,” Simon agrees, speaking into the webcam as if he was meeting Felix and Victor’s gazes directly. “Hopefully we can do it again next time when we’re in Atlanta.”

“Wait, you mean, you guys are coming to visit US?” Victor asks, incredulous. He can’t believe his ears.

“Yeah, you came to visit us, it’s only fair we do the same thing. Besides, Bram wants to get some pointers from the coach about how to coach middle school kids.”

“Might wanna choose a different gym teacher to learn from,” Felix tells him, smiling.

“Whatever, we wanna see you guys, and introduce you to our friends Leah and Abby too. We’re all coming back for a homecoming type thing, even our friend Nick is gonna be there. It’s not for at least a month, but we’ll be up there soon, I promise. And as always, we’re here if you need anything, Victor.”

“Thanks you guys. I can’t wait to see you guys in person again.” Victor says, and he’s definitely gushing. They used to be strangers to him, but now he can’t imagine life without their support. They’re like his fairy gay fathers or something. Victor laughs at that prospect, but it’s an accurate name for them.

“Nice meeting you Felix! Great game! Talk to you guys soon!” Bram says, and the call goes out.

“They’re really great.” Felix says, almost absentmindedly.

“Yeah,” Victor says, fully registering how he feels towards all the new friends he’s made in the last few weeks, and a warm, welcoming feeling filling up his stomach, almost like the butterflies that welled up in his chest when he kissed Benji. Only this was different. This was purely platonic. Victor’s family life might not be what he’d like it to be right now, but his social life was better than it ever was in Texas. What’s more, he was finally living his true life, his gay self, and he felt better than he had in days.

“Yeah, they’re pretty great.”

[bluejaytaco]

More DND with Jay

(Because Jay has a problem)

After the “Death” of Ticket Master, his sword popped out a new god; Task Master. He’s basically a really whiny Mr. Poopybutthole and is super jazzed to be promoted into this position. Apparently, it’s the position he wanted.

Because of the situation we were in, he marked us all with a bracelet so he could keep track of all of us. With the exception of Koejin, who was able to move in time to keep the bracelet off her. When Koejin refused to put it on, Hennessy was able to convince him that Koejin would be a loyal follower. Task Master kinda shrugged it off and just stated he would be able to see through her eyes when she lied anyway.

Task Master then opened up two portals back to the mortal world; one from where we left off and the second to where we were heading. Where we were heading was being demolished by a giant worm (General Purple) and Mrs. Red.

But there was still unfinished business in the tunnels. Wreybar’s entire family was down there and so was Art’s sister. We ended up splitting the party.

Hennessy, who went into the tunnels with us, wasn’t happy when he found out (he headed through first)

Hennessy: (angry sputtering)

Art: Hennessy, it’s okay. Just... stay calm. We’ll see them when we get out of here.

Art’s hand: (Forms a mouth and speaks in Ticket Master’s voice) Yes, Hennessy, stay calm.

Art: (Stares at his hand) The fuck?! How?! What?!?!

Ticket Master: Well, I needed a way to communicate with you. So, I accessed your hand as it... what’s that?

Art: What’s what?

Ticket Master: That! On your wrist! Take it off!

Art: (Tries to take off the bracelet only to have it stay right where it was) yeah, no can do, bud.

Ticket Master: No, you have to remove it! Hennessy! Do something! Use magic! Get rid of it!

Hennessy: uhhh...(studies the bracelet for a moment) um...(pulls out a cloth and ties it around Art’s hand, gagging Ticket Master)

Ticket Master: Mmmphh!

Art: (fake innocent look at the hand) Is that better?

Hennessy: I just... don’t have the energy to deal with him right now....

-

(Later, further in the dungeon)

DM: So you guys come to a door that’s slightly ajar.

Me: Okay, I peak my head in all stealthy-like. (Pretty high Stealth roll)

DM: Alright, Art. So you look in and see a large, dim room with a chest in the center. Sitting on top is a goblin who hasn’t noticed you yet. On the far side is a glass room with another opening only big enough for Wreybar.

Me: Is the room bright enough for Hennessy to see?

DM: Yeah, no need for darkvision.

Art: (Relays this info to the rest of the group.)

Everyone: (Walks in and alerts the goblin to their presence.)

Goblin: (Starts shouting at them. Only Hennessy understands him)

Hennessy starts talking to the goblin and finds out his name is Robert Lin. He’s sitting on the chest because something in it tried to bite his hand off. Hector was the reason for him being stuck there. (Hector’s been trying to lead us into situations that would kill us for a while now.)

Art: Hey, wouldn’t it be funny if there was a little mimic inside the chest?

Alabaster: Seems rather redundant.

Art: Just saying it be funny.

Wreybar goes into the room and finds a book of monsters. Hennessy looks inside it and finds some pages are worn, along side a bookmark that says “this is what is in the chest.” We come down to three different creatures. Blue slime, tiny blue dragons, and water.

Chest: (speaking draconic)

Everyone: Yep, dragons. Definitely dragons...

Hector: We could just leave him here and keep going. You know, there’s a really cool statue in the other room with glowing red eyes. We should check it out. Any takers?

Everyone: (Silently glaring at him)

Hector: Guess not.

Hennessy: Maybe you should tell us about why you left our friend here on a chest and we might consider listening to you.

Hector: I don’t need to tell you anything. You don’t have that skeleton with you anymore. (Note: Skelly went with the other team.)

Art, fed up and pissed off now: Alright, look. You have managed to piss off everyone here in one way or another. Now, what you’re going to do is shut your mouth until we speak to you and answer all of our questions, or I’m going to make you wish it was Skelly here!

Hector: (Begins to do a mocking impression of Art)

Art: (Rolls extremely high on intimidation)

DM:  Art, as you’re shouting at Hector, the air around you begins to heat up and crackle. You begin to glow a little and, as Hector looks up at you, he is struck by fear. The black eyed glare, the horns, the heat, it’s all a perfect terrifying picture. He’s so scared, in fact, that he passes out from fear.

Art:....shit. (smacks him a few times in attempt to wake him up. he doesn’t move.) uhhh, whoops.... hm...

(Art then proceeds to move Hector to safe places and make sure he doesn’t die. After that, he agrees to the idea of their new goblin buddy dragging him around with a rope. No one else cares about whether Hector lives or dies. Art’s motives and mind confuse even me sometimes...)

-

(Next room has an old mining type rail with a curtain leading into a long, dark, void-like hallway. The void is described to be something very Ticket Master-y.)

Art: (takes the wrapping off his hand.)

Ticket Master: Bleh! Ugh! Hennessy! What is that, your dirty laundry?! Ugh... Hello...

Art: Hey, uh, just a quick question. Do you know anything about this room?

Ticket Master:..... I’ll need to have a better look. Put your hand out.

Art: (does that)

Ticket Master: ....Okay, now bring me back.

Art: (does that too.)

Ticket Master: Art, do you see any eyes here?! I have no idea what fucking room you’re talking about!

(DM: Ticket Master isn’t at all his cool self. You can hear the frustration in his tone which is completely new to you.

Me: Yeah. Honestly it’s kinda nice.)

Art, sighing: Okay. It’s a room with a mining rail. Ring any bells? Figured you’d know considering you were down here before us.

Ticket Master: Oh you figured as much? Well, I still have no idea....

Art: Ah, okay. It was worth a shot. So on goes the gag again.

Ticket Master: No, wait! (Art reapplies the cloth) Mrrrph!

- 

(We go down the rails and see that it’s a presentation talking about the generals, all of it hosted by Mrs. Red. It fast forwards at certain points, but then stops towards the end to play about Purple.)

Red: And then we have my good friend, Purple. He can turn into literally anything and use its abilities to his full advantage. He’s unstoppable. So, my suggestion to you? Jump into the void. There, you can be brought back to your lives with no memories of this. Simple, easy, quick.

Hennessy: Clearly, this is some pre-recorded message.

Art: Has to be.

Red: Oh, Hennessy, is it so clear? And it ‘has to be,’ Art?

Alabaster: How is this possible? We saw you on the back of the giant worm in Althori!

Hennessy: After being stabbed by Eltbalm.

DM: Hennessy, (After rolling Arcana) you remember reading about this type of magic. It’s a projection of a person’s mind. So, that really is Red in front of you.

Red: Yes, thank you for that. Speaking of which, could you tell me how that’s possible?

Art: We could.

Red:.... (impatiently waiting for an explanation Art won’t deliver. ((Art is soooo dead when she gets her hands on him.)))

Alabaster: ....It was a gift.... for you...

Hennessy: Either way, we must move on, for now. Time to continue on our quest to stop you. (climbs out of the car.)

Art: See you soon, Red. (follows after Hennessy and Alabaster)

Red: One more thing. Tell that tentacle monstrosity you call Ticket Master that I’m coming for him. And I’ll take great pleasure in killing him.

Art: Yeah... good luck with that one... 

(Everyone heads out of the room.)

-

(We all head into a new room with a new puzzle having to do with statues of Mrs. Red. But then, a large projection plays on the wall and shows Koejin looking at us in confusion. On her end, it’s a random floating rock. A homebrew move Alabaster has is Pelor Message. It works like Message but with no distance limit. However, he can only message poeple who are either followers of Pelor or supporters of the belief. Koejin’s a supporter.)

Alabaster: Hello, Koejin! We seem to be able to see you!

Koejin: Wait. Are you guys in the floating rock?! (pokes it)

Art: Hey, do me a favor and yell at her for poking strange magical objects. (for context: Koejin has stopped Art from poking at magical items about three times already. She’s literally kept him alive in most cases.)

Alabaster: Art would like to chasitise you for touching unknown magical artifacts.

Koejin: Psh, it’s fiiiiiine. But, Alabaster! Look who we ran into! (Koejin pulls an elf over into view and points at him. It’s Alabaster’s brother.)

Alabaster: (overjoyed rambling)

Art, leaning over to Hennessy: Not to be racist but.... doesn’t that guy look an awful lot like Alabaster? (Koejin’s player: That’s what I said!!)

Ticket Master: Mrph frph! 

Art: (taking off the cloth again) Yeah, what’s up?

Ticket Master: Ugh, that thing’s disgusting!

Art:...Did you just want to be able to speak?

Ticket Master: Is that such a crime?

Alabaster:... Oh, yes... A new development; Ticket Master is also still around. Art’s hand has formed a mouth.

Koejin: Ugh.... really?

(It was around here that our side ran out of time and we transitioned into what was going on with the giant worm destroying the town. Also had to end early because my connection kept fucking up....)

[svtskneecaps]

sometimes it feels like all the stories i can tell are someone else's.

my cousin got paid a hundred dollars to get punched. my sister was the queen of a statewide organization. another cousin held that position too, and she's the most confident person i know. she was the first cousin to get a tattoo and faced the judgement of our grandmother on her own. i was too young to understand. i didn't know how scathing our grandmother could get, back then.

my cousin, the one who got punched, likes spicy foods. he got a thing of ghost pepper powder as a christmas gift and even that wasn't hot enough. he has a bottle of the hottest man made spice in existence and even that isn’t hot enough. he makes a mean pan of enchiladas (they have to have a mild pan, too) and drowns his mashed potatoes in pepper.

my cousin in arizona loves fudge. every time she comes up for christmas she makes a pan and eats most of it herself. she got offered a scholarship to play golf in college, and there's a tan line on her ankles from spending time on the course. she did girl scouts, and when we were younger she loved going through our grandmother's closet to play dress up with her old clothes and jewelry.

my younger sister formed deeper, quicker, closer friendships than i would have dreamed. she goes over to their houses, and they ride their bikes around the neighborhood. they get ice cream at the dairy queen and play pokemon go, or mario kart wii. in the summer i hardly see her. she leaves when she wakes and comes home after dark. my mom almost wants to pitch a fit, except neither of her older daughters had such close friends at that age.

my cousin, the one who got punched, put his preferred name on a university document as "dragon slayer" while screwing around with his sister, the first to get tattoos. they put it in the form and forgot to delete it. he was famous among the group leaders during his new student enrollment and put the moniker on the whiteboard in his dorm. he tells me stories of the relationships he built with the people on his floor (the doors in my hallway stayed closed).

a friend went to the basement of our high school and spoke to ghosts. he told me some live in his house, too, and they talk to him. a friend is writing the script to a play. a friend took exams when they should've been in the hospital. a friend decided to wake the theater at six am with the shittyflute of my heart will go on (i may have been there but it played out without me). a classmate got the highest, most unattainable score on an international exam. a friend has learned five languages in two years and speaks them openly and without fear to native speakers.

my cousin, the first to get tattoos, visits a big city a half day away with friends, on some weekends. she built a friendship in high school that lasted for years. her friend shares our christmas, and easter, and family reunions. our grandmother considers her a grandchild. we question her absence more than her presence.

my cousin, the dragon slayer, once dug a pit in his yard, knee deep, and spent the summer having bonfires with a friend down the street. he spends some fourth of julys attempting to start a fire with the scrap cardboard from roman candles and artillery shells by setting off firecrackers. sometimes it even works.

my cousin, in missouri, once rolled a four wheeler while out on a joyride. he would let a dog bite him and not even flinch. we went fishing once at the family reunion and he caught twenty fish for every five someone else managed. his family raises chickens. chickens are evil. he is not scared of chickens. he and his sister are musical prodigies and boast skills the likes of which i could never in my life match. if it were their passions they could go professional, but their interests lie elsewhere.

my cousin, in alaska, goes to wild parties. i’m sure he’s drank alcohol before. he threw a party once while his parents were away, in a true movie high school fashion. he got busted, i think. he’ll be a frat boy when he gets to college, i bet.

my aunt was the second in the family to get a tattoo, and the only one in her step of the generational ladder. she got a smily face made from the initials of her children, the dragon slayer and the queen, in their handwriting. she joked that her mother, my grandmother, would ground her for the rest of her life.

my cousin, the dragon slayer, was the third to get a tattoo, a large emblem on his shoulder. he finds odd board games and has the family play them. secret hitler is a good game for christmas. once, over christmas, he told us about the hitler sitcom which filmed eleven episodes and aired one. he plays dnd and dms and creates fun characters, like a magical character who uses a gun for a wand, and a character whose name is a play on madonna. he got me a set of die i have yet to use.

my parents met in college, at the college i currently attend. she was a "little sister" to his fraternity, or so i'm told. she almost didn't marry him, but he started designing a house (the house i grew up in) and she told me, "i realized that was the thing we were supposed to do together." she stopped doubting, and a while later she had my older sister, then me. four years later my other sister hopped out.

my sister, the queen, has insane luck with raffles. she won a mountain bike, a gaming console, an apple watch, a gift card, and a signed book from her favorite author. she gave me the rubber ducks from the silly prize bundles she won when we were kids. i read the first hunger games novel from one of those bundles, after she was done with it. middle school, she had a sleepover with all her friends. to them, i was “mini”-sister (i didn’t mind it then). they played hide and seek around my neighborhood. one of her friends hid in a garbage can, and another in a stack of tires.

i was the third to get a tattoo. i have never been punched. i have never been queen. i have never won a raffle, or been to a party. i never held a sleepover, or a get together. the only time i invited anyone to my home was my senior grad party. i spent both my freshman years in near perfect silence. my notes are filled with quotes from just watching. everything plays out around me. i absorb stories like a sponge but none of them are my own. i am a parrot singing everyone else’s songs. what are my songs? when will i sing something of my own?

i have no songs. i have no stories. my words are not my own; they have been said by hundreds and experienced by others. i am a black hole. i contain multitudes. none of it is me. none of it is mine.