#the prompt was 'veil' by the way! it's not mentioned in this snippet so i cant tag the microfics blog yet but. it's in the other 500 words

[jmagnabo92]

It’s almost the end of Sirius and Harry Saturday, but thanks for keeping it alive!

I have a short prompt/hc question, and I don’t know if you’ve written anything similar - do you think Sirius found out about Harry living in a cupboard, or what Harry’s first letter was addressed to? I would like to think they had some bonding moments in OOTP, but I’m forever bitter we didn’t have more of those! Harry seemed to have more interaction with Sirius in GoF when he was hiding out in a cave, than when they’re sharing the same house.

Thanks! I really love Harry and Sirius, so I definitely wanted to keep it alive once it was out there!

As far as canonically, I want to say that IF Sirius found out, he would've killed them. I think that Harry (although he confides alot in him) wouldn't have mentioned it due to subtle training. I doubt the Dursleys let him out of the house without making it plainly clear that he's never to mention the cupboard based on the reaction to the first letter.

The only way I could see it would be if Harry let's it slip or the twins mention it when they notice something was off regarding getting his things from the cupboard before 2nd year.

I would love for it to be mentioned in OOTP or even GOF, and we definitely robbed of proper bonding moments between the two. 

It is something that feels like it should and would be an interesting to see. Hence why I typically find some way to bring it up.

On that note, I actually do have moments in various fics that it's discovered - one in particular is a Drabble called "Spider Friends", probably the first thing I shared on Tumblr.

In Return from the Veil (which isn't officially anywhere, except in snippets), Sirius hears it when Harry let's slip to Dumbledore in their confrontation after the DOM, and again, when a discussion of their past comes up later on in the fic (which isn't posted). In the snippet, “Wet”, Harry understands Sirius’ need to be outdoors and thinks about the cupboard as a reason why he likes being outside, but doesn’t actually talk to Sirius about it.

In the Traveling Back Series - it’s mentioned ever so often, usually in thoughts like Sirius thinking that the reason that Harry likes being outside and to fly is due to the cupboard, but they don’t typically discuss it.  

In "Rescuing His Son", that's where he finds him and is obviously upset.

In the Home Series, "Harry's first Room" mentions it, but it's not fully like an anger reaction because by the time it's mentioned, Harry's had his own place for years.

In the Bonding Series, he discovers alot about Harry's life after "Death Can't Stop Us Now" but I don't think I specifically mention the cupboard. Although I do want to address it. I just haven't written it yet.

I did post a snippet of Sirius giving Harry his own room from that series, but it didn’t mention the cupboard.

Now that I think about it - I think it would be a great idea for the cupboard to be the sole focus of drabble.

Thanks for the ask - sorry it was so long.

[radioactivepeasant]

Fic Prompts: Final Fantasy Friday

(Some backstory for last week's snippet, and how Ardyn escaped Angelgard)

Spoilers for XIII 2 and Lightning Returns, so be forewarned

It was always silent in the chamber. In what was meant to be his tomb. The only sound was the soft rattle of the chains on those rare occasions when he tried to move. Even his screams had lost their strength over time. What use was there in screams, in pleading or tears, when there was no one to hear?

In this Astrals-forsaken place, there was not even a glimmer of light. Nothing but the darkness and the silence in any direction -- not that he bothered trying to look around after the first ten years. That was more agony than it was worth.

Memories of sunlight, and wind on his face, and the feeling of grass under his feet, were all so far away they seemed like fantasies. Had that life been a dream? No, he could never have dreamed up anything so wonderful as trees and water, and Aera.

Aera.

He'd no more tears to cry, but his eyes burned all the same.

That world outside- it was still there, somewhere. Everything he remembered was real -- it had to be, or he wouldn't be chained here, would he? Because he was the Adagium now.

No. No, that was not his name. That would never be his name.

He was-

Was-

"Ardyn."

The name crawled out of his lips and slipped away into nothingness.

He tried to raise his head, to ease the pain in his back, his arms- it didn't help, it never did. Pain was his constant companion. His only companion.

"Ardyn."

His own name, parroted back. But this time, in the voice of a young girl.

Slowly, painfully, Ardyn forced his eyes open. He knew what he would see: nothing. Nobody knew where he was, maybe nobody even knew who he was.

Do I even know that anymore?

Through dry, watery eyes, he almost thought he saw a shape. He dismissed it as a creation of his loneliness and blinked to be rid of it.

But the figure remained.

Floating before his face was a child -- certainly no older than thirteen or fourteen -- with silver blue hair cut short and a ceremonial veil covering her mouth. The child's eyes were haunted in a way that Ardyn recognized.

He blinked again, and yet she remained. The girl held out her hand to the side and another girl, identical save for the length of her hair, floated into Ardyn's field of vision to clasp the first girl's hand. Twins?

At the corners of his eyes, Ardyn thought he saw many more of the girls with the same face. Ah, so they were illusions after all.

"We are not creations of your mind, Ardyn Lucis Caelum."

The girls spoke in unison.

"We are Paddra Nsu Yeul: avatar of Etro."

Etro?!

The Stygian? The lost goddess of death? The original patron of the House of Caelum before Bahamut chose a king? Ardyn had never heard of any myths mentioning avatars. The Messengers, when they had spoken of her, described her as living crystal, sleeping in the very heart of The Crystal itself.

"H-ow?" Ardyn croaked. He had not the strength to say more.

"Do not be afraid, lost king. We have come to aid you." the girls said in their soft, whispery voices.

Help him?

The Adagium? Help? Now I know they are not real.

Ardyn closed his eyes again.

"Do not doubt Etro," a stern voice interrupted his thoughts.

Ardyn felt a hand touch his face and opened his eyes.

He stared into the fiery eyes of a man of indeterminate age with a hard face.

Who was this? Who would touch him?

Was this real?

"Is this the one you spoke of, sister?"

"Yes, Caius. Save this one and bring him to our Etro self in Valhalla. To leave him would open the timeline to fractures again."

Caius nodded sharply and looked up at Ardyn.

"You balance on a wire," the man said, "the precipice between life and death. You have taken on the Scourge for others, and so they do not call you living. But you have been prevented from dying by the Mother Crystal."

As if Ardyn wasn't keenly aware of that.

The identical girls rose up to surround the long-haired man and Ardyn, each placing cool hands on his burning skin.

"Poor Lucis Caelum. Bahamut is thoughtless and cold, playing all sides against each other. To create more illness in order to cure it? No. He does not wish to heal. But you are not forgotten by the Astrals."

Not forgotten? Ardyn tried to ask the strangers how they had learned of him. What the Stygian wanted with the man rejected by the Crystal. Why they had called him king when the throne sat only his brother.

Nevertheless, they seemed to know what he meant to say.

"We are the children of Etro," the man declared. "Each Yeul has succeeded her, and jointly perform her duties to the dead. I stand as her High Messenger."

"You have always had Etro's favor, Prince," one of the Yeuls remarked. "Because you have known our brother's pain, as we have known the pain of Aera."

"Aera?" Ardyn gasped weakly.

"She speaks of you often," the short-haired Yeul remarked with a sad smile. "She will be happy, I think, to see you again."

The man -- the Messenger? -- drew an elaborate blade and slashed through each of the chains. With a ragged cry, Ardyn dropped. The arms of the children caught him long before he'd reached the floor.

"Bahamut forgets himself," Caius Ballad announced. "He has lost touch with both humanity and reality, creating tragedies to battle monsters he made himself. And humanity needs a champion while the Chosen King remains unborn. Will you accept?"

Ardyn knew the answer before he even understood the question.

[thisweekingundamwing]

This Week in Gundam Wing August 30 - 12 September 2020

Here’s this week’s roundup! Aug 30 - 12 Sep!

Remember to give your content creators some love! And join in on the events at the bottom!

~Mod Hel

Fanfiction/Snippets/AU Ideas:

@angelselene​

Stand Without Flinching (Ch. 20) https://archiveofourown.org/works/22763293/chapters/63998467

Gundam Wing, Marvel Cinematic Universe

F/F, F/M, M/M, Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy, Chang Wufei/Sally Po, Trowa Barton/Quatre Raberba Winner, Wanda Maximoff/Vision, Duo Maxwell/OMC, Heero Yuy/OFC, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark

Duo Maxwell, Tony Stark, Quatre Raberba Winner, Trowa Barton, Sally Po, Lady Une, Steve Rogers, Bruce Banner, Wanda Maximoff, Vision (Marvel), Clint Barton, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Heero Yuy, Relena Peacecraft, Shinigami - Character, James "Bucky" Barnes

Mature, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Civil War Fix-It, Canon Divergence - Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Real Family, Not Gundam Wing: Frozen Teardrop Compliant, Enhanced Gundam Pilots, Preventers (Gundam Wing), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Ambiguous Morality, Morally Ambiguous Character, undecided ships to come, Family Reunification Act, Parent Tony Stark, Slow Burn, Found Family

For Duo Maxwell, family are the people he has loved and lost and whose names he bears.

For Tony Stark, family has always been blood and a name and Howard's shadow looming over him.

@bobo-is-tha-bomb​

Twenty Kisses (Ch. 12) https://archiveofourown.org/works/24038704/chapters/63863065

F/M, Heero Yuy/Reader

Heero Yuy, Reader

Romance, Kissing, Drabble Collection, Reader-Insert

Prompt: a hoarse whisper “kiss me”.

Deadly Intent (Ch. 3) https://archiveofourown.org/works/25576657/chapters/64129522#workskin

F/M, Heero/Reader, ???/Reader

Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell, Wufei Chang, Lady Une, Relena Peacecraft, Reader

Mature, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Reader Insert, Drama, Angst, Romance, Violence, Lime

Eleven years is a long time for a ghost to come back and haunt him. But Heero Yuy finds himself unable to dodge or outrun it. It’s the start of a dangerous cat and mouse game between one of the most powerful organizations in the world and a loner who has every intention of dragging him down with her. After all, she has come with deadly intent.

Twenty Kisses (Ch. 13) https://archiveofourown.org/works/24038704/chapters/64158358

F/M, Heero Yuy/Reader

Heero Yuy, Reader

Romance, Kissing, Drabble Collection, Reader-Insert

Prompt: following the kiss with a series of kisses down the neck.

@coffeetailor​

Touched by the Stars (Ch. 3&4) https://archiveofourown.org/works/26314657/chapters/64358008

M/M, Chang Wufei/Duo Maxwell, Chang Wufei/Heero Yuy, Trowa Barton/Chang Wufei, Chang Wufei/Quatre Raberba Winner

Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell, Trowa Barton, Quatre Raberba Winner, Chang Wufei

Explicit, thar be porn, Dubious Consent, Aliens, Alien Abduction, Alternate Universe, mention of MPREG, everyone takes a turn with Wufei, alien anatomy and interesting dicks, Tentacles, Monster Boys, Slime, Double Cocks, Cum Inflation, Knotting, Oral, multiple dicks, Xeno, Spitroasting

University instructor Chang Wufei didn't even believe in aliens, much less intentionally attract their attention. But that doesn't mean much when they decided he'd be the ideal final mate for their group and scoop him off of the planet to take home to their queen. Enjoying him on the trip there, of course.

@duointherain​

Beneath: Leprechauns and Clovers (Ch. 12) https://duointherain.tumblr.com/post/627927154018205696/beneath-leprechauns-and-clovers-1212

“Goddamn SON of a Bitch!” Duo screamed, staring at the place that Martha had been. Rage sparked around his head, amethyst lightening dancing around hair that just didn’t want to be constrained. He held out his left hand and his favorite scythe appeared. It was the one that Heero had given him on that first mission where Relena had been included. It sparked to life with a green fiery rage. “I have been trying to be so good! I have been trying to be friendly and peaceful and civilian! I look at the people at school and mom’s nice polite house and I have tried SO fucking hard!

TheManwell

The Silencer and the Sicarian (Ch. 7&8) https://archiveofourown.org/works/25478938/chapters/61806169

M/M, Trowa Barton/Duo Maxwell, Chang Wufei/Solo

Duo Maxwell, Trowa Barton, Chang Wufei, Solo (Gundam Wing), Hilde Schbeiker, Catherine Bloom, Kyouju H | Instructor H, Middie Une, Sister Helen (Gundam Wing), Heero Yuy, Professor G (Gundam Wing), Doctor J (Gundam Wing), Quatre Raberba Winner, Rashid Kurama, Abdul (Gundam Wing), Roushi O | Master O, Doktor S (Gundam Wing)

Explicit, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Wufei POV, Duo POV, Trowa POV, Solo POV

It was just one vow. A simple but necessary promise to respect life -- both human and fey -- but can Duo hold to it when his resolve is put to the ultimate test?

@tziganecaffiends

In the Bleak Midwinter https://archiveofourown.org/works/26219125/chapters/63812077

M/M, Chang Wufei/Treize Khushrenada

Chang Wufei, Treize Khushrenada, Mariemaia Khushrenada

Explicit, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Trauma, Childhood Trauma, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Torture, Enemies to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Sleepy Cuddles, Prisoner of War, Eye Trauma, Angst with a Happy Ending, random cameos, Post-War, Character Death Fix, Fix-It of Sorts, Parent/Child Incest, Frozen Teardrop has a lot to answer for, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Mecha, Battle, Multiverse, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Health Issues, Everyone Needs Therapy, Treize gets a dog, Garbage cat, Drinking

Something that had happened down in the office had been bothering him, wanting to come out. The veil of pretending had been pulled down, perhaps, and there was an unspeakable relief in having it said out loud, in having argued with Treize. Someone that smart shouldn't be that much of an idiot. As if there would only be one right way to end things? ZERO was fucked up and weirdly layered. It gave battle statistics, yes, but it also had a limited future function if someone fiddled with it long enough, and Wufei had.

Wufei had looked. Treize had apparently been happy to end with everyone goes on but me. And whatever had driven him to stop looking in ZERO was still in his head. Whatever it was that made a man just tap out hadn't magically resolved itself, which was a shame because Treize was carrying on as if it had. He couldn't fix that. Didn't know where to start unpicking that rats' nest in the man's skull, and it wasn't his responsibility.

Fanart/Crafts/Photo Manips:

@bobo-is-tha-bomb​

https://bobo-is-tha-bomb.tumblr.com/post/628530984276639744/its-here-cue-last-impression

Wing Zero, gunpla

@gundammeta​

https://gundammeta.tumblr.com/post/628112239191293952

Tallgeese and the Goose™, fanart

@gwfrozentears​

https://gwfrozentears.tumblr.com/post/628482816007634944/al-fin-terminado-me-decidi-usar-stickers-en-lugar

Duo Maxwell, fanart

@silkytea-art​

https://silkytea-art.tumblr.com/post/628646956308348928/was-anyone-elses-childhood-spent-pining-for-the

Heero Yuy, fanart

@the-efaf-draws​

https://the-efaf-draws.tumblr.com/post/628475380147322880/long

WuFei Chang, fanart

Photosets/Gifsets/Screenshots/Manga Pages:

@janaverse​

https://janaverse.tumblr.com/post/628542891987435520/all-together-now-despite-the-five-of-them

5 pilots together, Sims

Quotes:

@incorrectgundamwingquotes​

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/628011527357808640/heero-look-i-know-that-from-the-outside-it-seems

Heero & Trowa

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/628540026505052160/trowa-practicing-pick-up-lines-i-can-take-you-to

Trowa & Heero

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/628929354629513216/duo-so-whats-for-dinner-heero-staring-at-the

Duo & Heero

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/628991226010632192

Quatre cat cry

@disturbed02girl​

Calendar Events:

@gwcocktailfriday​

Cocktail Fridays!

Post responses on Friday, during Happy Hour between 3 & 5 pm in your own timezone.

Here’s the prompt for Friday, September 18th! https://gwcocktailfriday.tumblr.com/post/629061052992225280/cocktail-friday-post-responses-on-friday

In need of WINTER/SPRING prompts!

@gwoc-october​

GW OC October 2020!

Calendar and Prompt list will be posted up on September 17th! Watch for it!

@thisweekingundamevents

Events Calendar https://thisweekingundamevents.tumblr.com/post/624053314842230784/event-calendar-update

GW Holiday Gift Exchange 2020

Information: https://thisweekingundamevents.tumblr.com/post/627952774875906048/gw-holiday-gift-exchange-2020

Sign-up Form: https://thisweekingundamevents.tumblr.com/post/628041703013662720/gw-holiday-gift-exchange-2020-sign-ups

If you are hosting an event currently, or are planning on one, hit us up with links and dates! We’ll add them to the Calendar and reblog your notices to get the word out! 

There may potentially be something, happening somewhere, for Halloween spookiness!

[vegetacide]

Whump prompt #4 - part II

Veg-notables - As I mentioned before I shouldn’t be allowed to look at prompts. This is a continuation of the snippet found HERE. Only proofed by me so any mistakes are purely my own

Likes, shares and comments are my motivational fuel.

Rating:  M for suggestions of torture.  

Characters: Scott, Kayo  and Virgil (he is around ..somewhere)

Prompt snippet -  no title cause I am lazy and haven't thought of one

Enjoy…. 

oOo

Kayo was - to put it lightly - irate in a scary calm, calculating and head for the hills kind of way. Later when all was said and done, she would look back on the numbness that had overtaken her and analyze it.  Letting the doubt and fear along with it finally take root and she would allow herself a private moment, in a locked room to express what was pent up. 

She had various bolt holes on the island that only Virgil was privy to and she would go to one and let the emotions past the deadly stillness she was projecting but for now,  cool and controlled was the name of the game.  

Setting down Shadow on the lea side of the mountain beside the silent, large green craft that so personified its pilot,  she allowed herself a moment to breath. Clenching her fists as she noticed the shake in them that belayed the mask she had cemented into place. Her stress levels must be skyrocketing as the physiological effects of it were being broadcasted in her fine motor skills but the panic that she knew she should feel even behind her plastered on facade was curiously absent.  Her brow cocked up at the odd blankness of other feelings for the only things coming through the still veil  was the raging hellfire that was her anger. 

Shaking her head away from the random torrent of her thoughts,  she looked up at the blue expanse of the sky.   The odd juxtaposition it presented considering their circumstanced irked her.  It should be raining down acid not sunny and warm.  

As Thunderbird One came into view over a large outcropping dusted with evergreens,  Kay cracked the seal on Shadows canopy and jumped down.  The dry tufts of grass,  crunching beneath the soles of her boots and sending a small, fluffy tailed critter scurrying into the underbrush.  

Shielding her eyes from the dust kicked up from One, she made her way across the rough, cut clearing and up the incline to where Two rested amongst the remains of an old miners camp.  The rotten and lichen covered outbuildings creating an eerie back drop for the large transport.  

As her eyes scanned over the decaying refuse of the condemned colliery, she absently admired the skill in which Virgil had situated the massive craft.  In the confined space allocated to the abandoned plot of land, he’d set the craft down without disturbing any of the rusted out machinery or structures. He’d even managed to somehow avoid flattening what looked to be a picnic table that had seen better days.  Its brick red paint cracked and flaking, leaving a puzzle like assortment of debris around it in a halo of disuse.  

The man was a truly gifted pilot, there was no doubt about that. No one could maneuver the Herculean flying boat around like he could.  Turning her face up towards the underside of the silent ‘bird, a hint of something flashed across her expression.  The giant seemed lifeless without the skilled operator and it didn’t sit right with her.  Like a soul had been snatched away and a carcass left behind, barren and wasting.

Pulling her mind back from her dark musings,  she redirected herself back to the task at hand.  Her shrewd eyes narrowed as she scrutinized the derelict site. Searching and cataloguing anything and everything that seemed out of place in the otherwise undisturbed landscape.  

Virgil had been called out here to rescue a trapped hiker, a standard run for the well trained troop and nothing outside of their regular wheelhouse.  It wasn’t the first time that they’d had to sweep in to pluck some backwoods walker from some precariousness or another and it surely wouldn’t be the last.  

Virgil had been exceedingly chipper considering the early hour as he left the comms room for his chute that morning. He’d even paused long enough to drop a kiss on her forehead as he passed before disappearing down the long slide to the awaiting craft. It had been a rather quiet week for them,  an oddity given that the world seems unable to resist getting into stupid and avoidable danger, and the dark haired man had been eager for some action.  

Kayo kept replaying the scene over and over in her mind, but no matter how many times she revisited the call and the frightened voice that John had projected across the comms,  she could detect no duplicity. There had been no prickle of caution that would cause her to halt her lover’s plan of action so she’d continued on with sipping at her coffee and tucking her legs up under her,  getting comfortable. 

In hindsight,  she wished she’d paid more attention or perhaps even tagged along for the ride.

At the sound of hurried feet at her six, she held up a hand a non-verbal urging for Scott to cease his approach.  

“Kayo?”  Came his inquiry over the dedicated comms line.  He was some fifty feet away to her left, having landed One down below on what remained of an old loggers road, luckily just wide enough for the lithe craft to make use of.  “Did you find anything?”

Kayo backed out from under Two making sure to retrace her steps and took a circuitous route over to where the anxious commander stood, shoulders so tense for his brother that Kayo could make out the fine tremors racking through them as he tried to keep own distraught anger contained. 

Drawing near she indicated over to the scene behind her, the humid air stirring and playing with the ends of her long ebony hair.  The mugginess that was typical for the Canadian summer causing the ends to curl up and the loose wisps around her face to stick to her tawny skin. “Two’s on emergency lock down just like John said.   I did a preliminary scan on approach to the DZ,  there’s nothing.” Her report was direct and concise.  Her blunt delivery a coping mechanism in itself.  

Scott cursed harshly,  hands clenched into tight fists at his side with frustration. After a moment; his own eyes sweeping over the area,  he took a step towards Two.  “Show me.”  The order in his voice evident and proof that he’d only just managed to rein himself in.  

Kayo took the lead and pointed to a few areas of disturbed ground in various spots up the rise.  “Here and here.. There was a struggle.” Kneeling, she touched the rocky ground and brought her gloved hand up for a closer look.  Her thumb sliding across the pads of her fingers as she inspected something.  Her brows twitched as a brief glimmer of her upset peeking through her control but she quickly stowed it away.  

“Blood. Someone went down hard.”  The who wasn’t necessary, there was only one option. Scott squatted down on his haunches beside her, gravel crunching under his thick soles and reached out his own gloved fingers to inspected the tacky, dark substance. 

“Couple hour tops, with this humidity”  He commented,  taking in the consistency of what was smeared across his fingers. 

Kayo nodded her agreement at his assessment and straightened, eyes once more scanning about. “On foot they couldn’t have gone far, especial with 180lbs of dead weight…”  She considered, glancing off towards the tree line some two hundred feet to the West, “ Must have had transport of some kind..”  

“I’ll have John scan the area again maybe he can pick something up even with the iron deposits here playing havoc with our sensors..worth a shot though.“

"Anything is better than what we have..” Kayo said as she stepped past him.  “I’m going to see if I can find any signs of a transport.  If they had one maybe I can pick up a trail or get an idea of what direction they took.”

The urge to reassure Scott that they would find the missing pilot was an unnecessary platitude and a promise she was scared to admit that she wasn’t able to make. With little to no clues as to how, what or why anyone would have taken Virgil the real fear that they might not find him was a thought that right now she couldn’t bare to  look at too hard.  

The hand that caught her wrist as she slipped by caught her briefly by surprise, the hard blue eyes that was swimming with worry and a glimmer of fear that met her own had her looking away before her own inner doubts could take any further root. 

Pulling free with a gentle tug, she refused to meet his gaze.  There was no way she was going to allow herself to go down that rabbit hole and she shook her head. “It’s getting dark, I’ll contact the GDF to lock the area down while I check the perimeter.”

Scott returning nod was all the acknowledgement she needed.  The worried sound of his voice following her as he reported through to 5 some 22 000 km away.  His form becoming obscured in the waning shadow of Two as the distance between them grew with each step she took towards the treeline.

TBC - HERE

[chaoskirin]

Up until this point, I have resisted from commenting on what's been going on, save for within a blog that's followed by a handful of people.

Unfortunately, it's come to a point where the harassment has gotten to be too much, and I feel it's best that more people are aware of what's going on.

Earlier this year, I had a medical issue which caused my medication to stop metabolizing, causing the worst symptoms of BPD to manifest. Unfortunately, this causes "splitting." Without going into detail about what that means, I will say that I was quite harsh, and that's putting it lightly. I was suicidal and leaned too heavily on two people I had come to trust, and while one of them suggested the suicide lifeline, I resisted talking to anyone for a long time. As I explained to her, in the past I was the subject of forced hospitalization, and I feared contacting the lifeline would cause me to be institutionalized again.

I made a mistake. I accept full responsibility for dumping my problems on them. It wasn’t fair. It was painful and no apology I make will ever be enough. They ultimately made the decision to cut ties with me, which I had a hard time accepting, but ultimately realized it had to be done for their own health. I respect that.

However, within a couple days, one of them posted a cryptic post aimed at me that essentially accused me of being abusive to minors. Please note that the people I was leaning on were not minors.

I had not posted anything publicly until that point, however, I did feel the need to defend myself against that. In order to get away from these people, I had moved to a new blog, followed at that point by 19 people. I knew my response would not be far-reaching, but admittedly I did hope that the one who made the post directed at me would see it. I felt it was my right to defend myself, and so I responded accordingly, in public, rather than try to circumvent the block.

Notably, one tactic bullies use to claim their innocence is to state that the person defending themselves is actually the one doing the bullying. This actually happened within the last couple days, but I still maintain that anyone being harassed or bullied should absolutely take a stand. Ignoring bullies does not make them go away. And I want to stress that up until that point, I only responded in my blog when one of them made a post directed at me. They weren't content to block me and leave it alone. They continued to instigate.

In the following week's therapy section, my therapist encouraged me that instead of responding directly, I should instead write small snippets of prose (since I'd told her I enjoyed writing) focusing on how I felt instead of on the people involved. I ended up writing two of them, each around 300 words. The first involved sound sensitivity, and the second was about how I was trying to find a new way to dig myself out of the hole I'd dug myself into. The second one was especially important to me because we'd been discussing new pathways of thinking, and I thought the metaphor was clever.

Neither prose piece was about the other people involved, nor did they make any mention of them.

The next day, two people posted long, public letters containing half truths about their version of what happened. They released incredibly private information with which I'd trusted them, and the letters were extremely abusive. The posts used language usually reserved for speaking about r*pe and p*d*philia, contained internet buzzwords regarding abuse and manipulation, and one person backed up their posts with "a friend told me this is manipulative."

Not only were these letters fairly hyperbolic, but they never once gave any reason behind my actions. They didn't state that I was sick, that I was struggling, that I was in treatment, that I had already apologized for my part, nor that the past couple weeks before they blocked me (and after I started treatment) had been much improved--some of which was directly because of their intervention. They painted me as a purposely manipulative, abusive person, and allowed the many followers who read them to form the worst conclusions possible. These letters were both reblogged by the third person.

The shorter of the two letters contained a fairly clear threat.

As a result of this, I got several messages to both my blogs. Some were from people who didn't know the whole story and didn't bother to get my side, and others were anonymous. One friend told me never to contact her again. Prior to that, we'd been on good terms. One of the anons told me to kill myself, and another contained a thinly-veiled threat on my person. As a result, I have been using a proxy on the internet to prevent people from finding me. I have been blocked by people who I'd previously had no problems with.

I stopped posting to my main blog (this one) and password-locked the other one.

Several weeks later, I created a new blog in which to post for myself and for other people with BPD. This blog's purpose was to help me work through the fear and trauma, and so I could discuss with my therapist what I was thinking and what I was working through. In this blog, I addressed the false statements made in the abusive posts as well as acknowledging my part and my intent to improve. This was the only method I had to defend myself. Because many of the posts were BPD related and I thought my research would be helpful, I eventually un-password protected the blog. At this point, I see no reason to hide it. You can find it here: @boredliondisorder

The people I intended to get away from found the new blog, which I had not advertised, and started posting responses to it in their own blogs. These responses were cryptic and unhelpful and accusatory. When such posts were made, I would often get abusive anonymous messages, which would prompt me to look at the other blogs to see what they had posted.

On a personal, somewhat emotional note, I'm not sure why these people believed they had the right to post those letters and subsequent attacks with absolutely no response from me. Of course I was going to address them. I didn't block these people; they blocked me. I respected that by not contacting them directly, while maintaining my right to defend myself. They made it clear that they wanted no more contact with me while at the same time making sure to read everything I posted. Their directed posts seemed to be made in the spirit of hoping I would see them and reply.

Because I installed an IP tracker on my blogs to deal with anonymous messages, I also noticed they were checking my blog daily.

Constantly checking up on me and trying to keep tabs on what I'm doing when I'm trying to work through trauma and move on is crossing a line.

This has continued for a while.

Recently, one of them posted that if I didn't want them watching my blog, I should delete it and create a new url. Please note again that I had already done that several weeks before, but they followed me to the new blog. I'm still not sure how they managed that outside a tag search for BPD-related topics. Which would mean they were constantly searching certain tags to see if I'd created a new blog.

I'm not sure why I should allow myself to be harassed into deleting my blog and re-making it every time they choose to search out and find me. I have left them alone; the onus is now on them to do the same.

An important note: People have been attacked, doxed, killed, and have been forced to move from their homes and into hiding due to internet-based harassment. Most notably in the video game industry, Anita Sarkeesian was targeted by an online video game-centered group. And because this harassment campaign was posted in a popular location, many people saw it, and many people responded to it to the point where even the people standing up to defend her were getting threats of being r*ped or killed. Places where Sarkeesian was scheduled to speak received bomb threats and she had to cancel.

Three people had a problem with me and decided to make it public. It should have been handled privately. Not because of my ego or pride, but because one of the people involved has over 5000 followers and some of them have more militant ideals of how to handle things. It hasn't just become a post here or a post there--one of this person's followers, or multiple followers, has taken it upon themselves to attack me. Because of this, I have to use a VPN. My family have had to deal with the fallout from this as well.

I have been afraid up until this point to defend myself, because these people crafted those letters almost perfectly. They ensured through omission of fact that no one would stand up for me. I am not asking people to stand up for me now, but I AM asking everyone to stop harassing me over this, because you are operating on half a story. It needs to stop.

I don't think you are bad people, but I honestly don't think that you realize how far-reaching your actions have been. To quote one of the letters, "Do you know what you've done to me? Do you actually get it?" Because I don't think you do. You had to deal with someone severely mentally unstable, and that wasn't fair to you. But in contrast, I am living in fear for my life, and this will affect me for years to come.

I did not want to post this. But the harassment has to stop. It is going to stop.

To anyone reading this, don't destroy the message by sending anonymous hate. If you know who these people are, remember that this post is only one side of the story. Take their side into consideration as well and draw your own conclusions. This cycle of abuse has to end.

[mbcorvo-author]

Works in Progress Masterpost

Sci Fi Wip: Otherverse

This is my longest work in progress ever, also it’s my joy and my damnation in many ways. And the fact that my writer’s block started while I was working on this, made everything more painful. The only thing I haven’t changed in all these years is the title.

I started working on this WiP around the end of 2012 and first months of 2013 as a setting for an homebrew sci-fi/cyberpunk rpg. Project that was set aside after realizing that it’s not that simple making a role-playing game.I liked the general idea I gave to the setting, so around 2014 I took that project and I started to edit it so it could fit a novel and I continued gathering lots of resources to write it and I started the first chapter around 2016. Then, I completely changed it during summer 2017. I wanted to keep the far future sci-fi part of the idea, but I wanted that the technology and such used in the story were something plausible, so I needed to fix some plot holes and rewrite a bunch of things. I was happy with the edits and the new plot and I started drafting the prologue and the generic route that the story should follow to reach the ending I planned. This lead to this year, 2018, where I noticed a really big bad plot hole. Fixing that plot hole (thank you Interstellar to make me notice it) sadly made all the new story planned the year before completely nonsense. It collapsed on its own. I’m really sad about this but I’m even more determined to complete this novel. It’s like my little kid…a rather rebellious kid that doesn’t want to do what I want. But I love it. If nothing will work, it already have its backstory jotted down and I could fall back to that. I’m not sure, though.

TL;DR version: My oldest wip that is also a pain in the butt working on it, but one day I’ll be able to fix it. Far future sci-fi with plausible technology and completely new worlds.

I made a post for this wip to group all the links about it and also in case I'll return working on it! You can find it here

The WiP in few points:

Sci-Fi with some cyberpunk shades

Far future setting

Plausibile technology (I’m researching a lot for this)

Hard science kind of sci-fi

Realistic feel of the worlds: climate, flora&fauna, aliens, whatever are thought in detail. (other intense researches)

Urban Fantasy WiP: Beyond the Veil

After struggling a lot with my sci-fi, I decided that maybe I should try writing something different from it so my mind would have some time to rest a bit and let all the ideas soak for some time. So I thought about returning to the “origins” and go for something fantasy. Except that I didn’t want something like classic high fantasy and the likes, so I decided to go for an urban fantasy that was different from the urban fantasy I’m used to see in bookstores (here all the shelf are filled with Twilight-styles novels. Nothing against them, but I feel that the love triangle with supernatural beings is a tad bit overused).

The characters are born before the plot. Like, they literally spawned in my mind while reading some writing prompts and because of that, this wip is more like a weird blob of scenes without a fixed plot to connect them.

After thinking for some time, I think that I may have found the plot that “clicks” and that is simple and perfect to connect all the scenes and ideas that I have for this story.

I’ll send you to my wip page at this link where you’ll find a sythetic plot, something about the characters and links to the excerpts/snippets I shared here.

What I’m planning for this WiP:

A nice blend of creatures and other things from different mythologies and folklores (well, at least I’ll try)

Lots of LGBT+ and poc characters

Genies/Djinns

Faeries

Sirens (not merfolk, but something that looks like classic greek sirens)

Supernatural beings mixed with humans (well, most of them)

A revisitation of witches/wizards

Werebeasts. Not your common werewolves.

Wip 3 - Collection of shorts stories

In these years I found a bunch of scenes, ideas for some stories and similar things set aside in a folder in my laptop or in a notebook in my room. I liked some of them so I thought that I could rewrite the ones I liked and shape them into short stories that I could put togheter in a single collection.

At the moment, I have the first short story on in its third draft and it’s going through the latest edits before completion while the others are still in their “embryonic” phase.

Biblical Horror - In the Pits of Hell

It was quite some time since I had this idea in the backburner, since when the staff in the rpg I was playing started to ruin nice plots to show off their over powered characters and ruining the game for the other players...or maybe even before that, since I found old notes about a horror-themed story with devils, fallen angels, Hell and other things like that.

So, in the end, I decided to start jotting down something and trying to find the right plot that works between the ideas I have floating in my mind.

You can find this wip's page with the links to excerpts/snippets/ect here

What I'd like to put in this WiP:

Biblical stuff like angels, fallen angels, devils/demons, Hell, Heaven, and so on

Horror stuff, so there will be some blood&gore I think. But not too much because I personally dislike gratuitous gore.

War between Heaven and Hell

A plot

One of the ideas had something about the Apocalypse, but I still have to see how to make it work with the other ideas.

Another idea was to try to make the plot fit at least few parts of the plots used for some quests that got ruined in the already mentioned rpg.

Not sure if the title will stay there or not, but as for now it fits.

If I'll change the title, this one will be used as chapter title.

[Italian version under the cut! / Versione in italiano a seguire!]

Sci-Fi WiP: Oltreverso

Questo è il più lungo dei miei work in progress, inoltre è anche la mia gioia e dannazione in svariati modi. E il fatto che il mio blocco dello scrittore è iniziato mentre stavo lavorando a questo progetto, mi ha causato un po’ di sofferenza. L'unica cosa che non gli ho cambiato in tutti questi anni è il titolo.

Ho iniziato a lavorare a questo progetto attorno alla fine del 2012 e i primi mesi del 2013 come ambientazione per un GdR di fantascienza/cyberpunk che volevo realizzare. Progetto che poi accantonai quando mi resi conto che non è poi così semplice realizzare un gioco di ruolo. Mi piaceva l'idea generale che avevo messo dietro quell'ambientazione, così nel 2014 ripresi il progetto e iniziai a modificarlo così che si potesse adattare a un romanzo e da allora continuai a raccogliere informazioni e risorse varie per poterlo scrivere e scrissi la bozza del primo capitolo nel 2016. Poi lo cambiai completamente nell'estate del 2017. Volevo mantenere la parte del “fantascienza ambientata in un futuro lontano”, ma volevo che la tecnologia e quant'altro presenti nella storia fossero qualcosa di plausibile e realistico, così ho dovuto correggere alcuni buchi nella trama e riscrivere un po’ di cose. Ero felice delle modifiche e della nuova trama e scrissi anche la bozza del prologo così come il percorso che in generale avrebbe dovuto seguire la storia per raggiungere la conclusione che avevo ideato. Questo ci conduce a quest'anno, 2018, in cui ho notato un un brutto grosso buco nella trama. Sistemata quella falla (grazie Interstellar per avermelo fatto notare) purtroppo tutta la storia che avevo progettato l'anno prima ha perso senso. È collassata su sé stessa. Sono molto dispiaciuto per questo, ma sono anche molto determinato a completare questo romanzo. È come se fosse il mio bambino…un bambino piuttosto ribelle che non vuole fare quello che voglio io. Ma lo amo comunque. Se niente funzionerà, ho la storia precedente ai fatti del romanzo appuntata e potrei provare a ripiegare su quello. Non ne sono sicuro però.

Riassumendo: Il mio progetto più vecchio che è una spina al fianco lavorarci, ma un giorno sarò in grado di sistemarlo. Fantascientifico ambientato in un lontano futuro, con tecnologia plausibile e mondi completamente nuovi.

Ho creato un post dedicato a questo progetto per raggruppare tutti i link a riguardo e anche in caso io decidessi di tornare a lavorarci! Potete trovarlo qui

Il progetto in pochi punti:

Fantascientifico con qualche sfumatura cyberpunk

Ambientazione in un futuro lontano

Tecnologia plausibile (sto facendo molte ricerche per questo)

Mondi dall'aria realistica: clima, flora&fauna, alieni e che altro sono tutti studiati nel dettaglio. (anche qua svariate intense ricerche)

Urban Fantasy WiP: Oltre il Velo

Dopo aver avuto difficoltà con il romanzo di fantascienza, ho deciso che forse avrei dovuto provare a scrivere qualcosa di differente così che la mia mente avesse il tempo di riposare un po’ e lasciare le idee a “macerare” per qualche tempo. Pensai così di tornare alle origini e puntare su di un'ambientazione fantasy. Dato che non volevo un'ambientazione classica high-fantasy (es. il Signore degli Anelli), ho deciso di provare a puntare su un'ambientazione moderna urban fantasy seppur diversa da quelle in cui mi è capitato di incappare svariate volte nelle librerie (dalle mie parti gli scaffali delle librerie sono zeppi di romanzi con storie stile Twilight. Non ho nulla contro di loro, ma trovo che il triangolo amoroso con creature sovrannaturali sia un tantino troppo usato).

Sono nati prima i personaggi della trama. Sono tipo letteralmente comparsi all'improvviso nella mia mente mentre leggevo alcuni writing prompts qui su Tumblr. Forse è per questo che al momento il progetto è più simile a un informe ammasso di scene senza una precisa trama a collegarle.

Dopo qualche tempo di riflessione, finalmente credo di essere riuscito a “ingranare” una trama semplice e adatta a collegare insieme le scene che avevo già abbozzato così come le idee che avevo già in mente. Vi rimando alla pagina wip che potete trovare a questo link per avere un'idea migliore riguardo la trama, i personaggi e trovare i link agli estratti e frammenti che ho condiviso qua.

Cosa sto pianificando per questo progetto:

Un piacevole miscela di creature e altre cose provenienti da diverse mitologie e folklori (beh, almeno ci proverò a ottenere un bel risultato)

Molti personaggi LGBT+ e POC

Geni/Djinni

Fate

Sirene (ma non quelle che vi immaginate, bensì qualcosa di più simile alle sirene della mitologia greca)

Creature sovrannaturali mescolate tra gli umani (almeno, la maggior parte di loro)

Una rivisitazione di streghe e stregoni

Mannari. Non i soliti comuni lupi mannari.

WiP 3 - Raccolta di Racconti

In questi anni ho trovato un mucchio di scene, idee per storie e cose simili messe da parte in una cartella del mio portatile o in un quaderno dimenticato in camera mia. Alcune di loro mi piacevano e così ho pensato che potrei riscrivere sotto forma di racconto breve quelle che mi piacevano di più, così da raccoglierle tutte insieme in un'unica raccolta.

Al momento, ho il primo racconto breve alla terza scrittura e vi sto facendo le - spero - ultime correzioni prima del completamento definitivo mentre gli altri racconti sono ancora in “fase embrionale”.

Horror Biblico - Nelle Profondità dell'Inferno

Era ormai un po' di tempo che avevo questa idea che mi ronzava in testa, da quando nel gdr dove giocavo lo staff aveva iniziato a rovinare le belle trame per sfoggiare i loro personaggi overpowered e rovinando il gioco agli altri giocatori...or forse anche da prima, dato che ho trovato vecchi appunti per una storia dell'orrore con diavoli, angeli caduti, Inferno e altre cose affini.

Quindi, allafine, ho deciso di iniziare ad abbozzare qualcosa e provare a cercare la giusta trama che funzioni tra tutte le idee che mi svolazzano per la mente.

A questo link trovate il post dedicato a questo progetto, con i link di tutti gli estratti e i frammenti che ho condiviso nel mio blog.

Cosa mi piacerebbe inserire in questo progetto:

Roba biblica come angeli, angeli caduti, diavoli/demoni, Inferno, Paradiso, e così via.

Cose horror, quindi ci sarà un po' di sangue e gore credo. Non sarà esagerato, anche perché io personalmente disprezzo il gore gratuito.

Guerra tra Paradiso e Inferno

Una trama

Una delle idee riguardava l'Apocalisse, ma devo ancora vedere come farlo funzionare con le altre idee.

Un'altra idea era di provare a cercare di inserire nella trama almeno qualche piccola parte delle trame che usarono in alcune quest e che furono rovinate nel sopracitato gdr.

Non sono sicuro se il titolo rimarrà così o meno, ma per ora ci azzecca. Anche se preferisco la versione inglese!

Se cambierò il titolo, questo lo utilizzerò come titolo di uno dei capitoli

[shift-shaping]

Surana and Cole interacting for prompts please? :)

Glimpses: Cole Banter

Rating: G

Genre: General

Verse: The Lion and the Wolf

Pairing: Solas x Surana (mentioned)

Warnings: None

Snippets of banter from Surana and Cole.

Cole: Its paw was so soft when you took its hand, but the smile was all wrong.

Surana: Oh, good. My turn.

Cole: ‘I will help you -if you help me.’ A deal but not a contract: ‘I will lead you through the woods.’ You think about it sometimes, and the name still feels so alien on your lips. It’s Elvhen. Did you know?

Surana: I- no, I did not. Do you know what it means?

Cole: Yes, but so do you.

Surana: I… suppose I do.

—

Cole: To them, you look blue. Bright and bold, like a clear sky on a late summer day. You are shining, silverite badge gleaming in the sun -a hero, a Warden. But inside there’s so much red, and the blue bleeds out to black.

Surana: That’s the Blight. We’re all like this.

Cole: No. You’re different, you’re- it’s hard to see past it.

Surana: Then perhaps you should stop trying?

Cole: Yes. Sorry.

—

Surana: You’re a spirit taken human shape, Cole. How does that feel?

Cole: Like… me?

Surana: Er, no, I mean, what is it like? Being from another world?

Cole: The walls are so strong, real, forever. They are binding for you and me, but feel right for everyone else. You ask me, but you know. Another world- another world so far away, where the birds always sing.

Surana: The Fade.

Cole: You sleep to escape. It’s so much quieter there. The song is different.

—

Surana: I noticed you changed the subject last time, Cole. Do you not wish to speak about crossing the Veil?

Cole: It’s like water. Cold and constantly moving, but also… controlled. Organized.

Surana: Did it hurt?

Cole: Why would it hurt?

Surana: It just… seems painful. 

Cole: It was loud. Screaming, pleading, ‘let me out, ‘let me out.’ Reaching for a hand in the dark and then grasping it, firm, strong. Never let go. 

Surana: I… I see.

—

Cole: The cats are comforting to you. Independent, but also sweet and kind when you are good to them.

Cole: You are a cat, Eirwen.

Surana: Sometimes, yes.

Cole: You don’t feel as much that way. Everything is quieter. The song goes quiet.

Surana: And I have very soft fur.

—

Surana: When you read my mind, you said you couldn’t see around something. What did you mean by that?

Cole: What is there is you, but not you. Something is covering it. Not the Blight though. This doesn’t sing. It festers and eats at you, like maggots breaking out of a corpse.

Surana: What the shit does that mean?

Cole: If the pain is not cut free, you will die like the others.

—

(if Solas and Surana are both unromanced)

Cole: You know you are beautiful. He likes that about you.

Surana: The cat?

Cole: He doesn’t want me to tell you.

Solas: (if present) What a talkative cat…

Surana: Evidently.

—

Cole: You don’t have to keep carrying it, Eirwen. The weight is too heavy, and he would want you to let it go.

Surana: *sighs* I appreciate the effort, Cole, but I’ve heard it all before. I don’t think this is a pain you can heal so easily.

Cole: Then why do you try?

Surana: What do you mean?

Cole: You want a simple fix for the pain, but you won’t find it in your flask.

Surana: On the contrary, I usually do. Without much difficulty, I might add.

Cole: You don’t mind the burning. It reminds you that healing can hurt.

Surana: That is… quite accurate.

—

(After ‘Last of Her Name’)

Cole: You feel different now.

Surana: Good different?

Cole: …No.

Surana: Figures.

if you enjoyed this work, please hit the reblog button on this post. comments are cool but not necessary -you can leave no tags, a keysmash, or even just 'nice' if you'd like! thanks for your support -arden

[jmagnabo92]

Flying

Return from the Veil Snippet.  

Harry’s enjoying visiting the Tonks’ house with Sirius, which includes flying for Harry.  This prompts Sirius to confess he was present for the tasks to see his flying.

***

Harry loved living at the cottage.  It felt warm and loving and just…like home.  He loved that he finally felt like he had home. It helped, of course, that he had someone who wanted to be around him, who cared about what he did, and who genuinely seemed to love him.  After they talked about life at the Dursleys and everything they’d been through, he felt that much more at ease with Sirius.  He knows that he can tell him and talk to him about anything and it’s a good feeling.  He couldn’t be happier than he is this summer.

He typically woke up earlier than Sirius, and cooked breakfast.  He didn’t mind cooking breakfast for the two of them the way that he didn’t enjoy it when he cooked for the Dursley’s all those years ago.  

         After breakfast, they went to the Tonkes, for some training for Harry while Sirius worked with Remus and Andromeda on the bullet holes plan.  It was early afternoon when Tonks and Harry went flying.

     Harry was currently flying around the yard with Tonks, who’s not nearly as skilled on a broom.  Although that didn’t matter.  To Harry, all that mattered was that he was in the air, flying again, after a year of being banned, it was amazing to be on his firebolt again.  Especially when Sirius let the practice snitch go, and he caught it within a minute.  He let it go and caught it again, repeatedly.  Tonks tried to beat him to it, but he was just too good.

         “Well, it’s a good thing you’ll be captain,” Sirius states as he lands.

         Harry laughs, “Well, I’m surprised it’s not Katie since we’ve been on the team for the same amount of time, and she’s technically older…and you know…wasn’t given a lifetime ban.”

         “You know it wasn’t actually legal what Umbridge did, right?  She can ban you from playing for the house team, but if you wanted to play professionally it was never going to stick, and stealing your firebolt…”

         “Like the ministry would care that she was doing illegal things.”

         Sirius frowns, since he knows about Umbridge’s attacks on Harry (having seen the scars and attempting to heal them to no avail), but he just throws an arm about Harry’s shoulder, and ignores the mention of her.  “Well, regardless, you’re an amazing flier.  Well, I knew that …I watched you your third year, and even fourth year against the dragon…but seriously, you were doing circles around Tonks, you caught the snitch a dozen times in an hour…you definitely deserve captain.”

         “Thanks for the vote of confidence…” Harry starts.  “Wait, you watched me at the first task?”

         “Of course I did.  I was already back in the country and living in that cave…I wasn’t going to wait for a letter…that’s too late to do anything, so I …snuck on the grounds and watched as Padfoot,” Sirius states.

         Harry smiles, “I wish I had known that.  Just knowing that I had more than Hermione in the stands…would have…made a lot of difference.”

         “I should’ve told you…I just…you were dealing with enough, that’s why I didn’t see you on the trips into Hogsmeade…until March.”

         Harry nods.  “It’s nice to reflect on it, now.”

         “Just another reason you’re a wonderful godfather, Padfoot,” Remus states.

         “Yeah…not everyone thinks that way…” Sirius trails off, and Harry knows he’s talking about the order and Mrs. Weasley.  Well, Harry didn’t care what anyone else thought, Sirius was a wonderfully amazing godfather.  The only adult that had ever truly been there for him.  The only adult Harry truly trusted from the beginning, and he wasn’t going to let the order’s or the Weasley parents’ opinions cause Sirius to doubt himself.

         “I do,” Harry says.  “And as your godson, I’m the only one that matters.”

         Sirius smiles, obviously happy that Harry thought so much of him.  

         “He’s right, Padfoot.  Only one hell of a godfather does what you did that year,” Remus states.  “And I have to apologize, Harry, I should have been there for you as well.”

         Harry nods, stiffly.  He’s trying to forgive and trust Remus, but it’s hard.  “It’s nice for you to apologize, but uh, well, it’s a little…pointless now.”  Although it helped.  After talking to Sirius and realizing his issues, Harry knew that he needed the acknowledgment that it wasn’t okay.

         Remus nods, “Well, since Sirius will be with you this year, I could write you instead…”

         “Me too!  Me too!” Tonks insists as she runs back from putting her broom in the shed.  She links her left arm with Harry’s right.  “I can be the big sister you never wanted.”

         Harry snorts, “How about you could be the big sister I always wanted?”

         She smirks, and her hair flashes a few different colors, “Even better!”

         Harry smiles, “And I would like that, Remus.  Hedwig might actually like me again if I start writing more. Sometimes, I think she gets affronted by my lack of using her.”

         “I agree.  Although we wouldn’t be able to share sensitive information… unless we encoded them like we were joking about the other night,” Harry offers.  

         “Or we can always use the mirrors that Prongslet forgot about…” Sirius says, trailing off, reminding Harry about the mess that could have been avoided had he known about the mirrors.  Harry frowns, upset at the reminder and a bit upset that he’s giving his mirror to Remus, but he could understand that it doesn’t make sense for Sirius to keep his when he’ll be at Harry’s side for the foreseeable future.

         “It wasn’t my fault!  You weren’t very clear, and I was worried that you’d so something reckless like barge into the castle and get yourself arrested or killed…I couldn’t lose you, so I… no matter how badly I wanted to talk to you…I just…didn’t …” Harry says, suddenly upset.  

         “Oh, kid, look at me,” Sirius says.  Stopping them in their tracks and looking directly Harry.  Harry looks up at him.  “I’m sorry that I made you think I would’ve done something stupid…and I’m sorry that you thought – that in a way – you lost me.  But I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere, okay?”

         Harry nods.  Even after weeks of having Sirius by his side, he still dreamt of losing him, still worried he’d wake up one day and Sirius would be gone, still worried that somehow this was a dream.  Sirius often had to remind him that no matter what happened in the past, he would never leave him, again, but his fears were real.  He couldn’t shake those thoughts; those worries and he’s trying so hard to move on.

         “I want to hear you say it.”

         “I know you’re not going to leave me,” Harry says, automatically.  It was something he ended up saying nearly every day, at Sirius’ instance whenever he begins worrying again.  

         “Good.”  Sirius gives him a hug, and as odd as it is, Remus and Tonks join in.  

         Somehow, somehow, he knew it was true.  Despite his fears, Sirius wasn’t going anywhere, at least not without a fight.