#the radio is so nice i cant believe i ever decided i hated it

[cavefairy]

anyways i re-experienced the joys of the radio when i left the house earlier (phone was being icky so i had to use the radio instead of spotify for music)

i think its nice that i landed on a classic rock station, probably wouldnt have left it on if i hadnt. i missed 3 doors down, i missed daughtry, i missed five finger death punch. i set all my lil station preset buttons and flipped around for the entire hour drive to and from where i had to go tonight. even after my phone stopped acting up, i kept the radio on.

in conclusion, pleasepleasePLEASE use the radio every now and then. its just really nice. plus it hits different, hearing a song on the radio by pure chance rather than on a playlist you know you put it on, yknow

[early2000smovieimagines]

Meeting and Dating Henry Creedlow

(My gif/it’s really hard to find clips of this movie)(requested by anonymous)

(Sorry for the long wait!)

- You met Henry while working at the Bruiser magazine company. You didn't exactly work “together” but you worked in the same building and sometimes on the same tasks at different times. Often, the only times you actually saw him were during company meetings and the little breaks you had before and after them, or during lunch.

- Part of you pitied him from the moment you met him. He was walked all over and ignored for... well, no reason at all. You rooted for him any moment you could and yet he could never prevail. Maybe that was why you tried to be as nice as you could to him.

- And your kindness didn't go unnoticed. Sometimes talking to you about pointless things for two minutes was the highlight of his day. You were pretty much the only person he could stand to be around and really looked forward to seeing everyday.

- Soon those feelings of admiration and respect morphed into something beyond what he intended. He grew to develop feelings for you, real romantic feelings that had him yearning for you every time you graced his eyes.

- Yet nothing ever happened between you two since he was married, granted it was to a cheating bitch but still, married nonetheless.

- Then came that fateful day when his world and your own was turned upside down. You spent half the day glued to a television screen and your telephone to listen to the news of everything that was happening. You couldn't believe it and yet you had to. Because later that day you’d meet your former coworker face to face and see for yourself everything that had happened.

- It was late in the evening, you were getting ready for your bosses awful costume party when all of a sudden there was a knock at your window. At first you figured it was a bird or branch but when it persisted and grew what could only be considered frantic you hesitantly decided you needed to check it out.

- You grabbed a shoe for self defense and made your way to the window. When you pulled back the curtain there was nothing. Growing more confident, you opened the window... and shrieked as a figure popped into view.

- You threw the shoe in your hand at it and moved back to grab whatever else you could find before you recognized the familiar chuckle and voice.

“A shoe? Really? You really are too good for this shitty town y/n.” You slowly made your way over as he crawled in through your open window.

- You couldn’t keep your eyes off the “mask” on his face and he took notice, explaining everything that had happened and why he was there. He needed your help but more than anything else he wanted you to go away with him once he’d completed what he set out to do.

- It took you a few minutes to decide what you wanted to do. He knew he was asking for a lot but he held on hope... and for good reason because after a deep breath you agreed.

- After helping him evade the police one last time, the two of you were on your way to a new town, ready to start a new life together.  

- The two of you shared your first kiss a few days later. You were both sat in the darkness of your hotel room, the moon peeking through the curtains providing you with a faint light. It was late but neither of you were all that tired, instead you were thinking about all that had happened and what was going to happen.

“I’m so glad that you came with me.” He interrupted the silence and you smiled at him warmly.

“I’d follow you anywhere.” You said softly.

- The both of you watched each other for a long moment before he rose, walking over to where you were sitting and taking your face in his hands. Your eyes closed as his face neared yours, his lips brushing against your own before finally claiming them.

- Fate sealed by a kiss. You weren’t going to turn back now and you certainly didn’t want to.

- We can all agree that the hippie/stoner thing was not a good look for him. You persuade him to go for better, much more flattering disguise.

- He’s a fan of getting and giving nicknames. It makes him feel important when you call him something sweet or special.

- Innocent pda. He doesn't care for full blown making out in public but he likes quick kisses, hand holding, and having his arm around you.  

- He gives a lot of compliments, ones that every woman dreams of hearing.

“I see a beautiful woman with great value.”

- I feel like even though Henry’s gone through a lot he hasn’t really changed too much? Like he’s still kinda awkward and sweet and a romantic at heart.

- The two of you have a lot of long conversations about nothing in particular. You usually jump from topic to topic, oftentimes pointless ones. He really just loves being able to talk to someone no matter what it is he’s talking about.  

- Watching him exercise in the morning and struggling not to pull him back into bed with you.

- Getting kisses blown at you. What else can I say, he’s an adorable man.

- He likes pressing his forehead against yours after he kisses you or while you’re dancing together in your kitchen.

- Remembering things for him, whether it be where he last left his keys or a meeting he’d forgotten about.

- Even though he has a dodgy memory he never forgets your birthday or anniversary, they’re just too important to him.

- He loves listening to your stories and the hearing about your interests. He never gets tired of learning things about you.

- You’re the only person he lets himself be a pushover for. He doesn’t mind giving into you just to see the smile on your face.

- Wearing his dress shirts. You make it very hard for him to focus on anything else whenever you do.

- The two of you have movie marathons almost every week. You never fail to fall asleep halfway through one of them and always feel kinda bad for snoozing on him. But he doesn’t mind, he likes carrying you to bed; it’s a strange comfort of his.

- He prefers quiet evenings with you rather than any party or event. Dates are usually at a nice restaurant or some place where the two of you can relax or have a little innocent fun.

- He kind of lets you do whatever you want to him as long as it’s harmless. Want to put makeup on him? A face mask? Paint his nails? Whatever makes you happy darling.

- Praising him any chance you get because he damn well deserves it. He always gives you this shy smile when you do and tries to humbly brush off your compliments as he blushes.

- Sometimes he likes to pull you close and recite different rhymes or poems to you as you relax against him.

- The way you cuddle depends on you. He isn’t particular, he’s just happy to have you near him.

- Being woken up to him whispering your name and pressing kisses to your skin.

- Giving him rides to work, you both enjoy having the company during your tiresome commutes.

- Stopping him from listening to those awful radio shows in the morning.

- Recording an answering machine message together.

- Shoulder kisses while he hugs you from behind.

- Sitting on his lap. 

- He’s a little clingy. He just really loves being around and touching you.

- He’s never afraid to tell you he loves you but other than that he struggles to put into words how much you men to him. Oftentimes he’ll settle on how “he cant live without you” or how you’re “the best thing that’s ever happened to him”.

- I feel like he tries to hide it for as long as he can whenever he gets sick or hurt. You usually notice it yourself pretty quickly and force him to let you take care of him. He has to admit that it feels nice having someone fuss over and care about him.

- Kinda likes being called sir...and being begged.

- Hand kisses.

- He’s probably stolen your sunglasses more than once.

- He likes surprising you with gifts, anything from flowers to a diamond necklace. 

- He always tries to help you with whatever he can no matter how big or how small.

- He’s extremely protective of you, the very thought of losing you or having you hurt tears him apart. Remember that he’s capable of murder, depending on the situation... things may get messy.

- Learning to like, or ignore, the taste of blood.

- Sometimes listening to his morbid stories and the things he thinks about. He doesn’t tell you about them often but occasionally you’ll get a glimpse inside his head.

- Henry is definitely a jealous guy. He doesn’t like any guy coming near or even looking at you unless there’s an actual reason for it. He thinks the worst of people and doesn’t them around you. He’ll interject and lead you away from them unless they’re family or what he deems harmless.

- For the most part, he trusts you... but he also trusted Janine and she cheated on him. It may take him a little while to fully believe that you would never do the same, just don’t take it personally.

- Fights never really escalate beyond the bickering stage and are usually about more serious topics so they happen rarely. Often times the two of you have a short argument that’s resolved just as quickly as it began.

- Trying your best to make him a little less pessimistic. He admits that you brighten up his day when things go sour.

- He always tries his best to comfort you when you’re stressed or upset. He hates seeing you anything but happy because he thinks that’s what you deserve to be for the rest of your life, perfectly content.

- Supporting each other through thick and thin. He’s always there for you no matter what and you make sure to return the favor.

- Henry’s a smart guy so I feel like he wouldn't have trouble getting a pretty good job once he’s able to sort out his new life and forge some documents, especially if you decide to settle into a small town together.

- He’s happy to create new memories with you and forget about the past.

- The world may be an awful place but he’s happy to have found the one good person within it.

[sunlitroom]

Gotham – s5e05 – Pena Dura

 As I watched it, and some random observations here and there.

Previously on Gotham:

Selina went stab stabbity stab. Alfred told Bruce he can’t save Selina from herself.  Ed woke up on a rooftop.  Jim gave speech #357 on the value of hope. Then Haven exploded, proving that hope can only do so much against an RPG. Jim’s been promised help for weeks!  He also won’t stop until he finds who’s responsible for Haven.  Ed was responsible for Haven, albeit in a weird trance-like state.  Jim stared at the charred remains of Haven.

As always, long post will be long.  There are likely to be rambling digressions. Gobblepot might appear (although I welcome all shippers and non-shippers alike :)).  There will be naked favouritism and naked not-favouritism.  Broader comments at the end on plotlines and parallels and general direction.

In a church, a man is watching an old black and white film.  From what I can figure out from the actors involved and the character names, it’s a George Brent film called Tangier Incident.  It’s not a particularly interesting film.  He is, however, in a good creepy film called The Spiral Staircase, which I recommend.

Anyway

Jim and Harvey approach him, guns drawn, and ask him turn around.  Apparently, he’s the one who sold the RPGs.  He seems pretty unimpressed by them, and rather insolently asks if they’re going to arrest him.

Jim says he wants a name. Old film guy addresses some unseen minions

What do you say boys?  You wanna show the lawman how we feel about uninvited guests?

No-one is backing down. The stand-off is broken up by the arrival of lots of large people dropping through the stained-glass ceiling, who promptly take the thugs out.

While this is happening, Jim wrestles the weapons dealer/film enthusiast.  He still wants a name.  The fight is pretty even until the old guy is shot in the head.

We now get a slow-motion shot of shiny army boots approaching to some foreboding music.  Jim rises, frowning in confusion as shiny boots man removes the mask covering his face.

Eduardo?

Nice shot right?

We get the military music we last had with Barnes to let us know that Jim likely met this man in the army. His men are still pointing guns, one at Harvey, so he tells them stand down.

Jim asks Eduardo what he’s doing here.  He tells Jim he last saw him running through sniper fire to save him from a burning truck.

Jim claims he had the old guy where he wanted him – but he’s glad he’s here. Eduardo says he is too

 They wander through the church chatting. Jim tells Harvey they hated each other in boot camp. Jim thought Eduardo did things too fast, while Eduardo thought Jim was too careful.

A sarcastic Harvey says that Jim’s taught him a thing or two about being careful.  

Jim and Eduardo lapse into military jargon – talking about the mission plan. Eduardo says that they’re helping Walker (the woman Jim’s been talking to on the radio). They’ve to make this hellhole safe.

Jim, disgruntled, comments that all it apparently took for them to be sent help was the murder of hundreds.  Eduardo says they’ve to remove all criminal elements and make the city safe.  He introduces his second in command, who hands Jim a ledger they’ve found.  On it – we see Ed’s name against two RPGs.

Jim turns to Harvey. He and Eduardo will go after Ed. Harvey is to set up a command centre at GCPD.  Harvey protests.

I’m not as fast as I used to be, but I still got some fight in me. I’m not some desk jockey – I’m a street guy

Jim says Harvey’s the best cop he knows.  Ed tends to think ahead.  If this goes sideways, Harvey will need to take over.

I need your help buddy

Harvey nods.

GCPD where Bruce runs into Alfred.  Alfred tells him Jim isn’t there – they’ve got a strong lead in the Haven bombing. He asks Bruce what’s wrong.

Bruce tells him worriedly that he can’t find Selina anywhere. Alfred replies that Selina is capable of looking after herself.  Bruce says that she’s not herself, though.   Alfred pulls a face and tells him that Jeremiah deserved to die.  A resentful and upset Bruce says that Jeremiah made Selina a murderer – just like Ra’s did him.

(An aside.  Much like Alfred, I don’t really have a problem with Selina stabbing Jeremiah.  But this is only one of many times this episode will get a bit forgetful.  Selina was a murderer before she killed Jeremiah, Bruce.   You were there when she shoved that guy out the window.  Not that I really have any time for Alfred’s ex-army friend who stabbed him and robbed you – but Jeremiah wasn’t the first time she’s killed)

Alfred quibbles this, claiming that Ra’s goaded Bruce into murder, but Selina did what she did with open eyes

And you’ve got to learn to respect that son

Bruce wants to find her, though, and leaves – as Alfred watches.

(An aside - Eh.  On one hand, yes – Selina can make her own decisions.  She has autonomy.  On the other hand – Selina did what she did while still struggling to cope with the trauma of Jeremiah shooting her.   Alfred excusing Bruce but condemning Selina – even though he agrees Jeremiah needed to be removed – doesn’t really sit well with me.  On top of all that – Selina’s endangered herself for Bruce on a number of occasions, gone out of her way to help him, in fact.  She’s clearly not coping now – and leaving her to her own devices seems off to me.)

In the library, we see Ed listening to his blackout recordings.  He howls with frustration, unable to establish a pattern.

It makes no sense!

He catches sight of himself in a nearby mirror

You're not a murderer, Ed.  Except Kristin Kringle, and Officer Doherty.

He goes on

But all those people.  And children. How could you do it?  Why?

He roars

It doesn't matter – it’s you - not me

(An aside.  This is really a bit of a mess.  So.  Am I to assume that Ed is being a massive hypocrite, and selectively editing his criminal record?  Or am I to assume that Ed differentiates between murders committed by Ed and those committed by The Riddler?  Maybe, that doesn’t really work here – since some of these were committed before he discovered that persona.  Besides – wasn’t one of the features of his ‘becoming’ his personalities becoming fused?  Or are the writers choosing to forget some of Ed’s other murders?  Who knows.)

Hearing a sound, he turns. It’s Jim and Eduardo – who have arrived to arrest him.  He holds his hands up defensively.

No - Jim - I can explain

Jim is taken aback.

Explain?  You son of a bitch - you actually did it?

(Interesting. Although Ed’s name was in the ledger, Jim doesn’t seem to have thought that Ed was truly responsible – or didn’t want to believe it might be true.)

Eduardo tells Ed to get on his knees.  That’s three Eds in this show now – not counting Ed’s many personalities.  For reference, if they’re all ever in the same scene, the dog is Ed1, the lanky green one is Ed2, and beardy army guy is Ed3.

Ed protests, and says he didn't – but he needs a little bit of time

Eduardo is still pointing his gun – and tells Jim to just say the word.

Ed pleads.  You know me, Jim.  People that I have...hurt - they hurt me first

(Eh? There are multiple gif sets going around which show how ridiculous this remark is.  Ed’s hurt plenty of people just because he wanted to.)

I didn't know a single person in Haven

Eduardo glances at Jim

Your call, buddy – he basically confessed

Ed watches carefully as Jim thinks and then decides,

Bring him in – he stands trial

We’re saying this again? What kind of court will this be? Who is the judge?  Lawyers?  Jury?

Ed isn’t enthused by this. He touches a book from the bookcase. Eduardo is apparently standing on pressure-plated ied.  One twitch, and he’ll repaint the room with his organs.  He smiles.  

Jim points his gun. But apparently Ed has also devised some sort of watch that monitors changes in Ed’s heart rate if it deviates by more than 10 bpm up or down, and can cause an explosion - if necessary - from as far as a mile away. Whatever. Apparently, in a fit of sexual frustration after his recent contact with Lucius, Ed sublimated his lustful stirrings into an inventing binge.

Ed and Jim try and stare each other out a bit.  Jim says Ed will be a target once news of his guilt gets out.  Eduardo says he thinks Ed’s threats are bluffs.  Jim says Ed doesn’t bluff.  Well – there was the time with all the cops and the poison gas that turned out just to be sleeping gas, but - hey.  This episode is having severe difficulties remembering details, storyline, characterisation….take your pick.

Jim lets Ed leave. Summarising because this recap is lengthy – Jim uses his cat-like reflexes to leap across the room and finds the right book to free Eduardo – whose whole take on the puzzle is that he’d like

to wring this nerd’s neck

Jim gives him a welcome to Gotham.  Wanting to wring Ed’s neck is just part and parcel of visiting. He adds that the city grows on you, before contacting Harvey and telling him to put the word out: Ed is wanted for the attack on Haven

Bruce strides into Sirens, looking for Selina.  A fairly happy-looking Barbara leads him towards a booth.   With a flourish, she tells the crowd to raise their glasses for the killer of Jeremiah Valeska.  The crowd parts, and we see Selina sitting in a booth with a group of girls.  Is this the booth of Bruce’s downward spiral?  Is this the ‘I am having a long dark night of the soul’ booth?  Do you have to book ahead?  

Selina raises her glass, but her smile is more ironic than anything else.

(An aside. Barbara seemed happy.  It's hard to say whether having the killer of Jeremiah Valeska at her club is bring extra cachet, whether her one-night stand with Jim brought her some closure and happiness, or whether she and Jim are still having sex and she’s pleased about this.)

In some abandoned building, we hear a radio send out the message about Ed being wanted by the police.

A tall skinny man wearing a green suit and eyeglasses

They left out his BritPop hair.

Outside an angry mob gathers and chants.  We see Ed hiding from them, before slipping off.

 At City Hall, Oswald stands, flanked by his henchmen, as a visitor opens a box for him.  Whatever it is seems to make him happy – and he pays the man 200 bullets in return – telling him to go have fun and keep up the good work.  

As the man leaves – Oswald is brought a message

He reads aloud

Edward Nygma is the monster responsible for killing the innocents of Haven

Oswald looks incredulous for a moment, and then worried – wondering aloud,

Ed…what have you done?

The mob from earlier runs past.  Ed hides – but is walloped on the side of the head.

GCPD.  Eduardo tells Jim they’re pushing uptown – but there’s still no Nygma. He’s confident they’ll get him though.  He then asks Jim to tell him about Scarecrow.  Jim says his guys would need gasmasks – but taking him down would be a big one.

We’re on a sort of rural street.  We pan up Ed’s body.  I own those boots.  He’s unconscious and tied to some kind of deck chair.

An older blonde woman leans in towards his face.

Time to wake up!

Forgive me – American readers.  I can only tell that she sounds Southern, which I know isn’t very specific.

She tells Ed she’s the woman who will carry out his execution, along with her two boys – two men, who are sitting in a truck parked facing Ed.

They’ve basically created a makeshift electric chair.  There’s a lot of whooping and laughing as they give Ed a tester jolt.  He yells in pain, gasping when they stop.

The woman tells him that was only a taste.  It’s fair that Ed should die to pay for JoJo, who was in Haven when Ed blew it up.

She holds up a photograph. Ed seems afraid to look at it – then bursts into laughter when he sees it’s a dog.  For good measure – he calls the woman an anthropomorphizing nincompoop when she claimed that JoJo was happy and smiled often.

They give him another burst of electricity.  Ed hallucinates – seeing a spiteful Oswald telling him

I'm going to fix you, Ed

Ed blinks – confused. They jolt him again.  This time he sees a sincere Oswald, repeating the same phrase.

Everything stops when there’s some kind of fault with the electricity.  Ed quickly spots a way to trick them and escape.  In doing so – one of the men’s legs catch fire. As Ed runs off, he declares that he’ll fix Oswald.

 At City Hall, we hear distant explosions.  One of Oswald’s henchmen tells him that the army has invaded and men are heading this way. Oswald asks him if Nygma has been located – to which the man replies he has feelers out.  Oswald tells him the first man to find him gets to live.

Turning, he tells his dog he is surrounded by morons.  If he didn’t have his empire – he’d go get Nygma himself

(An aside – it’s actually something that has been frustrating about Oswald in later seasons. Season One Oswald was very mobile. He moved around a lot: think of all the places we see him.  Fish’s club, Gertrud’s apartment, GCPD, Jim and Barbara’s place, Maroni’s weird lodge, Falcone’s mansion, Loeb’s house…. It helped give a sense of how he had a finger in every pie, but also how much he truly inhabited the city.  He was everywhere.   But after they have him empire building – he becomes much more static.  He’s usually stuck in a grand house or hall, and has to send other people out to do his bidding.)

He spots that the gun on his desk has gone. He turns – and now it’s pointing at his head

It’s Ed2

(Ed gets demoted if the dog is in the same scene)

Hello Oswald.  We have a great deal to talk about.  But first - did you name your dog after me?

(An aside.  You know – that dog is sweet, but the naming decision feels like self-indulgent fic territory.  Unpopular opinion, I know – but there it is.)

 At GCPD, Harvey says Nygma’s been seen at City Hall – he’s going after Oswald.  Eduardo says Oswald is at the top of their list – so this sounds like a twofer

Jim says Oswald has all the ammo in town – so they need shock and awe

Eduardo says that’s his default, and asks Jim if he’s ready to go.

Jim looks a little dubious, and tells him to take Harvey.  He’ll keep things locked down here

(An aside – it’s possible that Jim does this because he wants to salve Harvey’s bruised ego from earlier, although sending him to City Hall with Eduardo to face a heavily-armoured and very irritated Oswald would seem to be a bit of an over-correction of that earlier moment.  It is amusing to consider, though, that Jim did not want Eduardo to witness what would likely have happened at City Hall if Jim had gone instead – i.e. Oswald wheedling his way out of a visit to the precinct, Jim telling Oswald to please be good this time, and then some emotionally vulnerable and sexually charged staring.)

At Sirens, a flippant Selina tells a serious-faced Bruce he’s killing the buzz. Bruce tells her this isn’t her.  Selina smiles, and asks Bruce if he really thinks he knows her. He solemnly tells her better than she knows herself.

Selina smiles.  She tells Bruce that the night his parents were murdered she watched it all and did nothing.

Her eyes fill

She says she watched

That guy shoot your father and shoot your mother and through it all - I did nothing

She lets out a laugh that turns into a sob

I didn't call for help. I didn’t scream at him to stop

Bruce tells her it wasn’t her fault – she was a scared kid.  Selina tells Bruce he was the scared kid.

Bruce has teared up now too. She continues

We are not the same.  I didn't do anything because I was not willing to risk my neck - because I didn’t care.  That's who I was and that's who I am

A different song starts playing.  Selina puts on a faux-smile and says she loves this song.  A tearful Bruce watches her walk away.

 Back at City Hall, an irate Ed is questioning a confused Oswald.

What did you do?

What are you talking about?

Ed is insistent

You!  You are the reason I killed those people!  How could you?  You have made me some murderous puppet!

(Just a reminder here that when Ed found a seriously injured and traumatised Oswald in the woods, he took him home, injected him with God knows what, told him he had no option but to stay there, and rubbed his hands with glee when he figured out the best way to manipulate him to his own ends – which was through his grief for his murdered mother.  You know, just while the story is touching on stuff like taking away someone’s agency, and using them for your own selfish ends.)

Ed rants that he’s spent weeks waking up strange places - driving himself mad, thinking he’d gone mad - now he knows that it’s all been Oswald’s doing

Of everything that you have put me through - this is the most cruel

(Just another reminder that - you know, while we’re discussing cruelty – Ed tried to drive Oswald insane, dug up his father’s remains, humiliated him, attempted to demonstrate that he wasn’t capable of love (so – you know – tried to completely dehumanise him), and then shot him in the gut and pushed him off the end of the pier. Just, you know, in case we’re looking for some kind of gold standard for cruelty).

Oswald blinks in confusion, and tells Ed that he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.  Ed quotes the ‘I’ll fix you’ from his hallucination.  He goes on – telling Oswald he didn’t fix him: he broke him

Realisation dawns on Oswald’s face.

Wait - I said that to you on the night the bridges blew!

He tells Ed that he saved his life.  He found him and paid Hugo Strange to save him – but Hugo must have done something when he was patching him up.

Ed is incredulous. Oswald is indignant – asking him what he was supposed to do?  After Butch, Ed was his only friend.  Ed exclaims that he shot Butch, to which Oswald retorts that’s why he needed Ed alive.

Oswald is frustrated. He sighs and turns to him

Edward Nygma - if I wanted you to suffer, I would never do it in some backhanded way.  If we are ever at odds again, you will know without a doubt that I am your enemy.  I promise you that, as a friend.

(An aside.  I have made no bones about the fact I’ve found just about everything they’ve done with this relationship over the seasons to be utterly forced - clunky and leaden.  If anything ever exemplifies a lot of what I don’t like about it, it’s that moment just there.  Compare how natural and nuanced almost any other interaction in this episode was in comparison with this moment.  It’s self-indulgent and melodramatic in a manner usually reserved for bad fanfiction. Bear it in mind particularly when we get that lovely scene later with Bruce and Harvey, and compare the two.)

Ed considers him for a moment, then yells

What a mess!  I might have killed you, Oswald.  And if that day comes, I swear to you that I will stare you in the eye as I stab you in the heart.

We already saw that, Ed. Back when you shot him in the gut

Oswald nods tearfully

(An aside, something else I hate about what they’ve done with this – insta-woobie ooc Oswald)

Oswald tells him to look on the bright side.  If Strange messed with his head, then Ed’s not responsible for what happened.  Ed asks where to find Hugo – but the conversation is interrupted by an explosion.

One of Oswald’s men tells him that GCPD and the army have blown the gates

Oswald whispers to him

Grab Nygma - they want him, not me

(An aside – the speed with which Oswald is willing to sell Ed out is honestly hilarious)

Ed – however – has legged it, leaving a fulminating Oswald behind.

The doors to the main hall are blown open, and a smoke bomb is rolled on. Harvey and Eduardo enter.  Oswald waits amidst all the smoke – probably for the drama more than anything

Why hello Harvey!

He teases him about the ammo situation last time.  Harvey tells him they don’t want his territory. They want him to put down his weapons and hand over Ed Nygma.

The situation, I think, is now more about Oswald being pissed that his turf has been invaded than anything else. He tells them to leave by the time he counts to three, or he’ll shoot everyone.

Harvey stands his ground.

Oswald smiles

You’re not thinking clearly, Harvey.  Maybe call your boss - see what he thinks

(An aside – Oswald is so offended that he’s even having to look at someone from GCPD who isn’t Jim.  Ugh. This day just gets worse.  Funnier yet is his conviction that Jim will tell Harvey to come back to GCPD and stop bothering him)

There’s a staring match. Oswald’s men all wind up shot, and Oswald is taken in to GCPD. 

Ed is in Sirens - on his knees in front of Barbara.  She tells him all Gotham is looking for him

He replies that he needs information – your speciality

(An aside.  What?  Since, like - when?  When did information become Barbara’s speciality?  I know she likes power and money.  She’s also fond of violence and casual cruelty.  But information?  When was that supposed to have happened?)

Barbara says she’s going to cut his face into a jigsaw puzzle.  Ed urgently asks her if he’s dumb.  If – in all the years she’s known him – he’d ever done anything as brutally idiotic as this.  He didn’t kill those people.

Well…. not exactly.

Barbara dismisses her guards.  Ed tells her about Hugo Strange’s involvement, and how he suspects mind control. Whoever is responsible for the mind control killed those people, not him

Barbara says if by some miracle she believes him – why would she help?

Ed piques her curiosity by wondering what kind of powerful person would hire Strange and have Ed adapted in this way.  He says that Barbara must know where Hugo is, and when he finds out who was responsible for the chip – he’ll share the intel.  She’ll want to know, because, after all

Information is your lifeblood

Sure, whatever. 

Barbara doesn’t know precisely where Hugo is, but can direct him to his Igors.

 An interrogation room in GCPD.  Oswald lies on his front on the floor, his lip bleeding.  He looks up at Jim, who is apparently watching, and his face twists for a moment into a combination of pain and an appeal for help

For his part, Jim looks troubled.  He’s not enjoying this – in fact, I would go so far as to say it looks like he can’t stomach it – but he’s tolerating it.

Jim replies to his pained look

You’re protecting a mass murderer - don't look to me for sympathy

(An aside. Yes – I ship this, but even with shipper glasses off – it’s pretty much there in the text. Oswald knows that he can appeal to Jim for sympathy.  In responding to his look as he does, Jim is openly acknowledging that he would usually be a source of sympathy for Oswald.  It’s an admission from them both that there are dimensions to their relationship that go well beyond cop/gangster and – more than that – an admission that they’re both aware of that)

Oswald spits blood

Fine.  But not with that meat head around

Jim nods, and Eduardo leaves

Oswald laughs and rises from the floor

You know – they say you can judge man by the company he keeps

Jim retorts

This from a man who has no friends

(An aside – that sounds meaner than it actually played.  It’s delivered in that slightly schoolyard  tone Jim reserves for teasing Oswald – it’s not earnest or cruel.  Also – as we’ve seen this season, just saw in this scene, and will see again in a moment – it’s just not true.  Jim and Oswald have a relationship beyond work.

On top of that, you know – Jim – if not for the fact that Harvey is an extraordinarily forgiving man, your own friend list would have tumbleweeds blowing through it.)

Jim and Oswald take a moment to give each other a long, complicated look.  This scene is full of long complicated looks.  Neither of them particularly want to be in this situation, but their hands have been forced.

Oswald tells Jim that Nygma is a patsy, not a mass murderer.  He likes puzzles, games, killing – but killing hundreds of people – that’s not him, Jim knows this.

Jim asks who set him up

Oswald laughs, and leans back in his chair.

Jim - you want info, I want to go home

Jim grimaces.  

Eduardo’s not going to go for that.

Oswald smiles before pressing Jim’s button

I'm sorry – I thought you were in charge

Jim grimaces angrily and leans on the table

Even if I were to let you go – the army is going to come after you: things are changing in Gotham

I'll take my chances

Jim blinks.  He seems, to be honest, tired and uncertain.

Do you want Nygma or not?

Jim looks at him, and then glances sidelong at where Eduardo waits outside.

Jim leaves the interrogation room and talks to Eduardo

I know where Nygma’s going

Eduardo looks at him, then past him, nudging the door to let it swing open – revealing an empty room. He looks back at Jim

I trust you know what you’re doing?

They leave to go find Ed

(An aside. Quite a complicated little scene.  Neither Jim nor Oswald want to be in that room – but external forces have shoved them in there anyway.  

There’s a lot of history in the looks that are going back and forth.  Like I said, we have the explicit acknowledgment that Jim is likely to offer Oswald sympathy when others won’t.  We also have the open admittance that Jim knows Oswald sees him as a soft touch, and that he will likely give in anyway – just not in this particular circumstance, because the destruction of Haven was such a big deal.

Oswald also knows that pressing Jim’s buttons over control and power is likely to be effective.

Last up – we have Jim obliquely warning Oswald of the danger the army poses to him.  He’s not threatening him here, or trying to intimidate him.  If anything, his tone is almost pleading.  He doesn’t know how handle this situation.  He’s asked for help – and help has finally arrived – but Jim’s not actually sure what to do with it now it’s here.  Eduardo plainly told Jim that Oswald was at the top of their hit list.  Jim’s response?  Let him go, warn him that danger is coming.)

 In some lab facility somewhere, a body slides down a hatch.

It’s Hugo!

He’s complaining that the last body he was brought was gangrenous and completely unsuitable. When he turns, though, he sees Ed pointing a gun at him

Mr Nygma

Ed want to know how he control of his alter ego.  He’s rambling a little, talking about his Ed side.

A curious Hugo remarks that he is Ed Nygma.

Ed says he’s also the Riddler.

Hugo’s professional side makes a rare appearance

How interesting

He adds, though, that he knows nothing about all that.  He just tinkered and inserted a chip in his brain.  

Ed wants to know who requested this.  Hugo says he’ll write it down, so he can truthfully say that he didn’t tell Ed who was responsible.  His pen, though, contains knock-out gas – which he sprays at Ed.

Hugo says that he’s mystified as to how Ed regained any awareness – and that he’ll just have to open him up and take a look under the roof.  

 Bruce is at GCPD looking for Jim.  Instead, he finds Harvey, working at his desk

Sorry kid – it’s just me

He quickly takes in Bruce’s obvious distress, and takes his glasses off to regard him more carefully.

You all right?

Bruce says he’s fine – just looking for Jim. He remarks that he saw soldiers downstairs, trying to make some conversation – but still seeming distracted.  Harvey watches him, concerned.

Yeah, the Army's finally gotten off their asses and decided to help.  Jim's out with them now.  Are you sure you're all right?

A tearful Bruce says that he doesn’t know.  His usual careful defences crumble.

I see people losing their will to do good.  People I love.  What if we don't make it out of this?

Harvey looks at him. His face is sombre.

I'm not gonna lie, kid.  These past few months, I've wondered the same thing.  And when I don't know what to do, I come up here and I dig into these case files. I sit my ass down and I get to work.  I used to hate this kind of paperwork; now it's the only thing that keeps me going.  Why? Because the little things matter.  Act by act, deed by deed, it means something.  Even if no one notices or cares.

Bruce listens – taking in what he says

Thanks, Harvey.

He then does the classic Batman quick exit – leaving a slightly befuddled Harvey

(An aside - This scene between Bruce and Harvey was really lovely.  Bruce is tired, upset, and worried about Selina.  He's lost his conviction that things will work out, and everything looks hopeless to him right now.  Harvey doesn't have the answer to any of that - but he does have an honest way to go on with things: do the work.  It doesn't have to be showy and praised by all and sundry.  Do something useful - and know that the deed itself and the results are both worthwhile.

It was an understated scene that still got across some very big issues.

There’s the flagging of some key differences between Jim and Harvey – Jim’s need to be seen as a hero, and Harvey not sharing that same concern.  There’s also insight into how someone who is as fundamentally unhappy and alone as Harvey finds a meaningful way of living.  There’s also how much Harvey has changed since we first met him.

It's sweet, too, that Bruce confides in him.  They don't know each other well - but he's still been a constant.  Equally sweet is how Harvey talks to him.  He doesn’t coddle him, or just try to cheer him up in the way that Alfred or Jim might.  He’s simply honest.  No platitudes, and no inspirational speech.  He tells Bruce he’s just as scared as he is, and then offers him a way to deal with his fear.  

Now - compare that simple moment of compassion, all the subtleties and pathos, and all the meaning it holds with the yelling and stilted dialogue at City Hall with Ed and Oswald.  The difference is glaring.)

Hugo has top of Ed's skull off – pretty much like Hannibal tried to do to Will. According to Hugo, the gas he used on Ed immobilised him – but he can still feel pain.  A simple reboot will fix the problem, though.

 A City Hall, Oswald carries his dog along to a hatch in the floor.  He carefully descends a ladder, still carrying him, and turns on a light. It’s a massive vault – full of gold and money and shiny things.  

He smiles and tells the dog that the time has come for a change of scenery

I’ve said this for ages, sweetie.  You’ve got all that crime money.  Buy yourself a flat in Paris, another in Berlin.   Florence, Athens, Barcelona…. go for it.

 Back in the lab.  Hugo says the electric charge must have overloaded the chip – but he’d fixed it.  He will pass the good news to his handler.  His smiles disappears when he realises that a gun is being held to his head.

He protests.  He’s just helping a man who needs medical attention! Hugo is vile – but BD Wong is fantastic.

Jim walks round Hugo to look at Ed, whose eyes are open.  Hugo petulantly says he gave him biomedical anaesthesia – and brings him round.

Ed screams in pain and then immediately protests his innocence

I told you wasn't me!

Jim tells Hugo to talk. He says a contract came along, and developed a tool – gesturing to Ed, who is indignant.

How dare you

Eduardo contacts one of his men and tells him to escort Hugo out.  He leaves with a ta ta

He smirks at an incredulous Jim

Sorry pal - this part of the op is need to know

Apparently Walker – the woman Jim has been talking to one the radio – wants Ed taken out now.  

Jim is puzzled – asking if Walker is behind this - controlling Nygma

Eduardo shrugs that he hates the spooks crap.  He just follows orders

Jim mentions Haven – reeling from the idea that Walker might have been behind it.

Eduardo says Jim is to put a bullet in Ed's brain

Jim replies with a flat no

Eduardo tells him to call it proof of loyalty - what Walker needs to see from him before she implements the relief plan.  He tries to persuade him

Look at him.  He's a loon. A cop-killer.

(An aside – the strong feeling we’re getting from Jim at this point is ‘yeah – but he’s my loon’ – in the same way that this is his screwed-up home, and his tyrannical gangster.  I suspect this storyline might have lasted longer had the season not been truncated – and we’d have seen Jim gradually pull away from Eduardo, the man he thought was his friend, to acknowledge that he belongs to Gotham, and has emotional ties there that he’s not willing to break.)

Jim just wants the truth: did Walker destroy Haven?

Eduardo tells him ours is not to reason why – and says this is his chance to be part of the plan.

He adds that if Jim can’t pull the trigger on Ed – I’ll pull it on you

Jim stares

You’d kill me for some bureaucrat?

Eduardo is unperturbed. There’s really not one thought rattling around in that big beardy head of his

Mission comes first - you taught me that.  What's your answer?

Jim says he saved his life one too many times.  He feints putting his gun down, and then runs and escapes down the hatch in the wall we saw earlier.  Wheeee!

Eduardo presses a button, and orders EdBot to find Jim and kill him

EdBot immediately complies, and also goes wheeeeee down the chute.

Eduardo watches him go – secretly envious that his orders apparently don’t allow him to go wheeee too.

Aha – so this is where that absurdly beautiful image of Jeremiah came from. He’s lying down, eyes shut, in some kind of cave.  We see a rock pulled aside by Ecco

Boss - wake up

Jeremiah winces as he sits up.  Ecco asks sympathetically if the stitches are still sore, and tells him he should have worn the armour she made.

Jeremiah curls his lip contemptuously, and tells her the bullet is making her sentimental – she should gave it a shake.  Ecco obligingly does so – and nods excitedly when he asks her if that’s better.

He tells her he had to let Selina stab him once - verisimilitude trumps precautions.  Ecco nods – and says Bruce and Selina had to think he was dead.  Jeremiah rolls his eyes at her summary, and comments impatiently that he takes it she has news.  She replies that it’s all systems go, and they head out.

(I suppose this is essentially canon, but – wow, does Jeremiah treat his ‘girlfriend’ with contempt).

Is Jeremiah in Wayne Manor? He addresses a man in a white coat, telling the dr he’s hearing good things.  The doctor tells him his assistant thought he’d like to see the results.

Jeremiah is wide-eyed as he approaches two people we can only see from behind – who look, as best as memory serves, to be Bruce's parents.

Jeremiah laughs for a second, then opens his eyes wide – and tells them they look beautiful

I just love family reunions - don't you?

Jeremiah, confronted with the problem of what gift you can buy for your billionaire crush who likely has everything, has seemingly got very creative and cloned his dead parents.

General Observations

Jim is doing a classic Jim. He's been unhappy about the situation in the city for weeks – pleading for help.  But now that official help of a sort has shown up - the kind Jim should want, and should back, and should identify with - he's wobbling. He balks at the idea of shooting Ed.  He had no interest in arresting Oswald, let alone any qualms about letting him go, and looked downright unhappy in the interrogation room.  When push comes to shove, Jim has relationships with these people - whether he’ll acknowledge it or not

To analyse it more closely in terms of Jim's psychology - the army element plays a role too.  He might talk about his time there fondly - but, ultimately, he chose to leave. When Barnes - who was father figure and army past combined - showed up, Jim barely waited until the end of his first episode before disobeying him to going off to see Oswald – leaning on their special relationship and warning him about the new regime.

He repeats that pattern again here.  Jim might want to represent that kind of authority - but a part of him is always looking to buck it, too.  It's part of the reason, I think, that he and Oswald are more likely to squabble during Oswald's particularly tyrannical phases.

And all of that disquiet is even before we find out that Walker is likely corrupt and dreadful.

 The whole thing with Ed. Eh.  I know what they’re trying to do here. The problem, for me, is that it’s not really outside the bounds of possibility that Ed could knowingly have destroyed Haven.  Sure – the whole affair would have been showier, and Ed would have made some kind of speech beforehand – but still.  Ed - and Barbara – actually, both watched from a high window while Gotham tore itself apart under the Tetch virus.  Neither of them flinched at what they saw.

It’s weird – because you don’t need to downplay Ed’s capacity for sadistic violence in order to also entertain the notion that part of him might be horrified by it.  That, after all, is a crucial part of his characterisation: that he is frequently fractured, with various facets of his personality more or less dominant.  In season one, we saw that certain aspects of his personality were almost completely suppressed.  Later, we saw the season one version of him humiliated and berated by darker aspects of his personality, as well as horrified by what it had him do when it ‘took over’.  

So – you can have your cake and eat it really – you can have a character who is capable of dreadful things, as well as the tragedy that some drowned part of him is horrified and disgusted by what he has done, and simply endures it with no ability to speak up. That would work with Ed’s extreme rage and fear at the loss of control he’s been enduring.

What doesn’t work, though, is retconning him to be a better person than he is. I’ve watched Ed torture because he enjoyed it.  Kill because he felt like it.  I’m not entirely sure I buy that he’d be horrified by what happened to Haven.

Miscellaneous

I have no idea whether Selina knows about Tabitha yet.  She must – it makes no sense that she wouldn’t – but there was no indication of her reaction to that.

Similarly – I don’t really understand why no-one has said a word about Lee yet.  I’m guessing it’s because we’re simply not ‘there’ yet in the story – but it makes no logical sense.

Alfred said a lot that was true about respecting Selina’s decision, but – ultimately- his advice to leave Selina alone simply comes off as callous.

Lucius must have had a day off today.

[wildfangz]

@liliithvatore tagged me in that simself thing thats been goin around DAYS ago but here it finally is! also thank you for the tag this was fun :-]

I tag @slythersim @thelurgoyf @seoulchii @weicyn @solitasims @daisydezem @raha-plays-the-sims if they want to do it & anyone that just wants to do it in general! message me and I’ll even @ u directly if u want. 

anyway lets DO THIS shitload of questions under the cut u’ve been warned!!!

1. what is your name?

julian

2. what is your nickname?

jewel, jules

3. birthday?

oct 26th

4. what is your favorite book series?

percy jackson and the olympians will probably always own my heart & soul

5. do you believe in aliens or ghosts?

yes & yes. tho i do think a lot of alien sightings and conspiracy theories and what not are bullshit

6. who is your favorite author?

maggie stiefvater probably? also cornelia funke but its been years since ive read anything by her so i cant be sure BUT i loved inkheart & the thief lord so much

7. what is your favorite radio station?

ummm when i listen to the radio at all i kinda just switch between two rock stations and our popular music station.

8. what is your favorite flavor of anything?

blue raspberry !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tasty and i love a blue tongue

9. what word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful?

cool. or bitchin’.  i play it simple

10. what is your current favorite song?

hands like houses - revive

11. what is your favorite word?

roulette and inhibition which i never get to use either as much as i want !

12. what was the last song you listened to?

emarosa - givin’ up ! its a bop!

13. what tv show would you recommend for everybody to watch?

the new she-ra on netflix its so good. and gay

14. what is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down?

moana. its also like the only movie i dont have trouble getting thru despite how many times ive already seen it

15. do you play video games?

16. what is your biggest fear?

idk... being inherently unlovable i guess n ending up alone? also spiders !

17. what is your best quality, in your opinion?

im fairly open-minded and laid back. Unless someones being like, purposely nasty or something I generally don’t get defensive or aggressive. also a lot of little quirks that piss others off dont bother me im very u do u as long as its not actually harming anyone and ive had people tell me this makes it easier to open up to me so thats probably my best quality....

18. what is your worst quality, in your opinion?

....at the same time though i do get very sensitive when faced w/ criticism even if its of the fair variety when its not phrased really gently for various reasons and i dont like that. especially since I have a tendency to not even talk to people about it. I’ll just immediately start distancing myself. also other than that i think overall I have a really high tolerance lvl but if you cross that line I hold a grudge like a motherfucker

9. do you like cats or dogs better?

cats! dogs are good too but cats are a lot easier for me to handle...and quieter generally but even when they’re loud cat sounds dont get to me quite as much as barks do

20. what is your favorite season?

autumn but im starting to really like summer for some reason? wack :/

21. are you in a relationship?

nope

22. what is something you miss from your childhood?

the lack of responsibility, probably. that sounds real bad lmao but for me its like...I know I’ve grown in various ways over the years but I also feel like so many of my experiences, my trauma, my mental health has held me back and I don’t think I’m mentally where I should be for my age. so all the responsibility of adulthood is just..really overwhelming for me sometimes, even though ive been given a pass from certain aspects of it and the rest is pretty simple its the idea!!!!

23. who is your best friend?

my ex

24. what is your eye color?

25. what is your hair color?

26. who is someone you love?

my mom

27. who is someone you trust?

not really anyone rn unfortunately...would like 2 work on that

28. who is someone you think about often?

are my OCs a fair answer because i am always thinking about my babies.....

29. are you currently excited about/for something?

my favorite webcomic (that also has two of my all time favorite characters in it) just came back!! the artist disappeared back in 2015 like the day after I binge-read the whole fucking thing & i was so disappointed but its BACK and 2018 has been redeemed

30. what is your biggest obsession?

sims probably! i could talk about anything relating to it for hours

31. what was your favorite tv show as a child?

there were so damn many its hard to even think and figure out the most notable ones...i really, really liked teen titans though?

32. who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone?

my ex, again

33. are you superstitious?

not terribly so but somewhat. I take certain things as signs and I mean I do believe in astrology & such to a degree

34. do you have any unusual phobias?

i used to be afraid of mirrors but thats all i can think of and its not even a thing anymore...the only other thing is tornadoes but i dont think its unusual. but it definitely sucks for me ‘cause i live in tornado alley!

35. do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?

behind it....like taking pretty pictures and dont like ppl capturing my image 2 film

36. what is your favorite hobby?

sims.....also singing!!! and drawing!!!! video editing!!!!!!!!! the works

37. what was the last book you read?

The Dream Thieves....havent finished it though because last time i went to read it a spider was lying in wait and im traumatized

38. what was the last movie you watched?

coco i think???

39. what musical instruments do you play, if any?

drums, various other percussion instruments, and violin mainly

40. what is your favorite animal?

ferrets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

41. what are your top 5 favorite tumblr blogs that you follow?

uhhhhh @bratsims @liliithvatore @cabsim @wildlyminiaturesandwich @keysims pls dont feel bad if i didnt include u these were just the first to pop into my head and ive been following some of them since I first made my blog!! and have kept up with their stories completely and enjoy them etc check them OUT !

42. what superpower do you wish you had?

shapeshifting!!! dysphoria? gone. ugliness? gone. want to morph into a fucked up clown and scare people when they realize all the classic clown features are a real actual part of my face? possible!

43. when and where do you feel most at peace?

chillin’ at the pool in summer during the part of the day when no ones there.... swimming is always relaxing 2 me then i love just resting under the sun and drying off afterwards especially since we have a little pond nearby and i can hear the water! its nice

44. what makes you smile?

always and without fail? interacting with anyone i have a crush on. i’ll look like a dope the whole time

45. what sports do you play, if any?

i used 2 play basketball a lot. Like not seriously but it was a thing

46. what is your favorite drink?

dr pepper and monster energy (original flavor) pumps through my veins at this point. we love a carbonated beverage

47. when was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody?

two years ago for my ex and I’s first year anniversary... I never got it mailed but I did at least take a picture of it (with included caption because my handwriting is atrocious). i was very up front about being a romantic and see heres the PROOF

48. are you afraid of heights?

nope! very excited by them actually

49. what is your biggest pet peeve?

i cant stand passive aggressive behavior. my stance is either get over it or quit acting like a bitch because otherwise im just going to ignore you thats the scorpio way (in all seriousness I really, really do recommend not putting up with it and ignoring it until they decide to be up front with you. it can be exhausting constantly reading into conversations and its not healthy for you or them. if they have something to say they need to learn to talk about it properly, and that lack of social skills is not ever on you)

50. have you ever been to a concert?

yep! i think about....six or so? i love them...which is really funny im autistic and EVERYTHING about them should freak me out and they do in other circumstances but at a show i just live for it

51. are you vegan/vegetarian?

nope! ive thought before id like to go vegetarian...but i couldnt do it with my health problems. also i love shrimp too much

52. when you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?

ive always wanted to do something creative! when i was rlly young I thought a lot about singing and acting and writing in particular...all things im still interested in.... also i wanted to be a dictator ages 4-7 because i told my mom i wanted to be president of the world and make people do what i say and she said “honey thats a dictator not a president”. i then made that known at school and that turned into a situation!

53. what fictional world would you like to live in?

pokemon universe or bust. 

54. what is something you worry about?

never being able to do things i want to do or catching up with others because of my disabilities

55. are you scared of the dark?

yes but a reasonable amount i think

56. do you like to sing?

yes :]

57. have you ever skipped school?

yes i used to play sick a LOT and as my parents caught onto it id even go all out to convince them. i was good at school but i hated it so much

58. what is your favorite place on the planet?

dunno! malls maybe i love shopping and looking at material objects i wish to own

59. where would you like to live?

oregon! portland in particular thats been my dream for a few years now

60. do you have any pets?

a cat! he lives with my dad & grandma though...hes grown up there and likes going outside so I felt bad about taking him with me when i moved out but anyway this is him hes fat and stupid and i love him his name is coffee

61. are you more of an early bird or a night owl?

night owl because my rhythm is all fucked up but in my heart....an early bird...if i get a good nights sleep i’ll be up early yacking your ear off and so excited for the day

62. do you like sunrises or sunsets better?

sunsets are prettier...but sunrises feel more refreshing

63. do you know how to drive?

nope ! im gay !

64. do you prefer earbuds or headphones?

headphones. better sound quality also discourages people from talking to me slightly more

65. have you ever had braces?

nope! but i need them

66. what is your favorite genre of music?

post-hardcore maybe?

67. who is your hero?

every trans person living their truth and being open and loud about who they are past present & future. the worlds not particularly kind to us and our existence alone is considered a radical act, so its always given me hope to see others refusing to pretend to be someone they’re not in this environment and I’ll always have mad respect for that

68. do you read comic books?

i read manga and webcomics...ive always wanted to get into superhero comics but the amount of issues and different versions is ridiculous and makes it inaccessible 2 me 

69. what makes you the most angry?

i mean its hard to pinpoint what makes me angry the MOST...but a contender is definitely how some people feel free to treat others with cruelty and think its their god given right to deny or attack someones existence in some way, & how acts of kindness, even the most basic are branded as liberal bullshit or whatever....it goes against everything i was taught growing up

70. do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book?

real book! electronic device can be easier but....rough on the eyes after a while and nothing beats the real thing for me

71. what was your favorite subject in school?

language arts...at least when we did creative writing stuff

72. do you have any siblings?

two older sisters & an older brother that passed away years ago but. still my brother u kno

73. what was the last thing you bought?

mocha frappe baby!!!!!

74. how tall are you?

5′4″

75. can you cook?

a little bit....not as much as id like to though but im learning

76. what are three things that you love?

storms, cheesy breadsticks, and cat purrs

77. what are three things that you hate?

unnecessary rudeness, being talked down to or generally treated like im stupid, grapefruit which is the worst thing on this list

78. do you have more female friends or more male friends?

female i think?

79. what is your sexual orientation?

im the big bad promiscuous bisexual your parents warned you about

80. where do you currently live?

oklahoma. gofundme campaign to get me out

81. who was the last person you texted?

my friend jojo! just Now!

82. when was the last time you cried?

yesterday afternoon but im a changed man now thats behind me. i will cry about different things soon

83. who is your favorite youtuber?

the mcelroy brothers. also super best friends play. matt, pat & woolie are all great tbh

84. do you like to take selfies?

depends on whether i feel ugly or terribly dysphoric that day or not

85. what is your favorite app?

ummmm....love live school idol festival ive been playin for years its an addiction

86. what is your relationship with your parent(s) like?

dad = bad mom = okay. theres some issues that strain it but its not too bad

87. what is your favorite foreign accent?

i have no idea what the fuck australians are talking about half the time but i dig it anyway 

88. what is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit?

Italy, Greece, Germany, Japan, Mexico, various other states (ive only been out of state three times. twice to texas and then once to kansas. for five minutes)

89. what is your favorite number?

6!! 26 also

90. can you juggle?

ive always wanted to but alas.... :-[

91. are you religious?

i suppose...but im rlly not into organized religion

92. do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting?

space probably theres so fucking much of it man!

93. do you consider yourself to be a daredevil?

not to brag but sometimes i eat my mcdonalds hamburgers cold from the fridge so you can figure that one out yourself B)

94. are you allergic to anything?

pecans. not deathly allergic though so catch me eating turtle pie anyway! 

95. can you curl your tongue?

nope :[

96. can you wiggle your ears?

nope :[

97. how often do you admit that you were wrong about something?

usually as soon as i realize....unless someones being real smug and annoying then i might be stubborn about it

98. do you prefer the forest or the beach?

ive never been to the beach but i love her!!!

99. what is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you?

probably that you have to look at your accomplishments differently when you’re disabled or just struggling, to not be so down on yourself because its a fact that what might be a mole hill to someone else is a mountain to you and you have to judge yourself accordingly. Like maybe you weren’t able to clean the whole house, but washing the dishes and tidying your desk doesn’t usually get done but you did it. That that should be celebrated because while it would also feel good if you did more, you still did something and thats great all things considered.

100. are you a good liar?

sometimes, really depends what im lying about and if im like....into it at all. If my guts against it for whatever reason I’ll have trouble

101. what is your hogwarts house?

i always get slytherin or hufflepuff! usually with like 1 point difference

102. do you talk to yourself?

i am talking to myself right now as i fill this out

103. are you an introvert or an extrovert?

extrovert mainly! i used to think i was more introverted but now i think a lot of exhaustion when theres any comes from me just going the extra mile and actively trying to read people and pick up on social ques.... if I just chill im fine

104. do you keep a journal/diary?

nope...ive tried but i just cant keep up with it so i do the next best thing. shouting into the void on the internet to a bunch of strangers

105. do you believe in second chances?

depends on what you did the first time. Some people just don’t deserve taking that risk imo...but i can be a little guarded so maybe thats a bit too harsh

106. if you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do?

turn it in, unless there was no identifying things in it & it was found somewhere kinda random. Then I’d maybe hold onto it unless my gut challenged that

107. do you believe that people are capable of change?

absolutely. i mean thats all we do throughout our lives is change and evolve...that being said I think extremely drastic changes are maybe not entirely impossible, but extremely rare, and the residue of the former self usually sticks around in some form

108. are you ticklish?

yes, dangerously so

109. have you ever been on a plane?

nope

110. do you have any piercings?

one day hopefully!

111. what fictional character do you wish was real?

asra from the arcana.....even if he wasn’t my boyfriend thats just a dude u could chill and eat some pomegranates with u know. Before I downloaded the app my friends kept telling me he was made for me and he really was he ticks like everything on my Favorite Characters Feature List except villain but he has that particular allure & attitude i like so much in villains so thats not a single point off hes perfect

112. do you have any tattoos?

nope...one day! hopefully!

113. what is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far?

accepting my genderqueerness and bisexuality definitely. Self Love hasn’t been perfected just yet but that was such a huge step in the right direction

114. do you believe in karma?

yes! she doesn’t get shit done as much as id like however

115. do you wear glasses or contacts?

glasses. not contacts yet because my eye doctor is a bitch

116. do you want children?

I do....just not sure if id be a good parent. Its really important to me if I had a child itd be for the right reason and I could raise them well in a healthy environment & be able to take care of all their needs yknow

117. who is the smartest person you know?

probably my friend jojo

118. what is your most embarrassing memory?

one time i looked outside and the sunset was really pretty and i wanted to get a photo of it so i walked out.....and stood like right by the street so there weren’t trees in my way...and then i realized mid-pic 1) i am not wearing pants & my shirt is full of holes 2) id been depressed for days so my hair was a tangled mess. I tailed it back inside so i didnt even get a nice pic it was blurry!

119. have you ever pulled an all-nighter?

120. what colour are most of you clothes?

black i didnt even have to think about that one

121. do you like adventures?

they are pretty swell

122. have you ever been on tv?

a few times when i was little. always photobombing the news reporters 4 what i thought would eventually lead 2 fame & fortune

123. how old are you?

21

124. what is your favorite movie quote?

this is technically lyrics to that lil song in moana at the end but

“ They have stolen the heart from inside you. But this does not define you.”

hits me hard every time! emotional impact? i know her

125. sweet or savory?

sweet!!!!!!!! gotta balance out my bitter somehow

[suckitsurveys]

What is your favorite type of cat? Ramona, Saké, and Friday.

If you could delete any word from existence, which word would it be and why? Tr*mp. It makes my blood curdle when I hear that name.

What is your favorite swearword? Fuck.

What celebrity do you wish you looked more like? I’m okay.

If you had your way, what color(s) would you dye your hair? I do have my way and it’s currently blue and purple.

Do you support the LGBTQ community? If not, state your reasons. You are entitled to your opinions. It’s not an opinion if it’s diminishing an entire group of people--you’re just an asshole.

Do you like seafood? If so, what is your favorite? If not, what is your favorite type of food? I LOVE seafood. Crab is my favorite.

Have you ever gone vegan/vegetarian? Nope and I never will. I’m trying to cut back on my red meat intake though and stick to fish and poultry only.

Have you ever eaten a veggie burger? I have.

If you could master any sport, which one would you choose? Swimming.

If you could meet any major political figure, who would it be? What would you say to him/her? I’d like to line up every republican and punch each one in the face.

Do you play any unique instruments? No.

In school, did you take any classes to learn how to play any instruments? No.

Do you like applesauce? Sure.

Do you know any German words? Sure.

How about any Portuguese words? No.

Did you actually pay attention in Spanish class? Yeah.

If you drink Monster, what is your favorite flavor? If you don’t drink Monster, why not? I don’t like energy drinks. Do you think any of your family members voted for Mitt Romney? Did you/would you? I don’t know.

Do you have a reason to hate anyone at the moment? Yes.

Is it easier for you to forgive or to pretend it never happened? Depends.

Are you one of those people who remembers EVERYTHING? I remember a lot of really weird details about things.

Do you sometimes pretend you don’t remember something about someone? No? I can’t think of a reason I’d need to do this?

Do you own any Webkinz stuffed animals? If so, do you have a Webkinz online account? Do you still go on it? No.

If you had/have a Club Penguin account, how old were you when you got it? I never had one.

Do you own any Nintendo video game consoles/handhelds? I have a GBC and a DS laying around somewhere.

Do/did you ever own a Blackberry? Nope.

Do you know the band Noah & the Whale? Yes.

Do you listen to Ingrid Michaelson? I don’t not listen to her.

If you have a song stuck in your head, what’s the name of it & the artist? Imagine by Ariana Grande.

Do you know who Sue Lyons is? How about Dominique Swain? Nope.

Unpopular opinion time. Be honest. The Beatles - overrated or not? Both.

What religion were you raised in? Are you still that religion, if you had one? I wasn’t raised in any religion. We weren’t baptized. My mom was a very spiritual person and I am pretty sure she believed in God in one way or another, but she didn’t follow a religion. She had her own version of faith. My dad just didn’t care about that stuff at all, haha. They were both respectful of people who did follow religion and I felt like they would have been/would be cool with whatever paths my sister and I decided to lead.

What religion/spiritual path intrigues you the most, if any? I like the idea that people live on in spirit in nature, and that there are spirits that control nature and shit, whatever that would be called.

What ancient culture intrigues you the most, if any? Greek.

What was/is your favorite subject in school? Sociology.

What was the last name of your second grade teacher? Mrs. Yamanaka.

Who was your favorite teacher of all time? My Kindergarten teacher Mrs. Furuta. She taught us so much; not just basic kindergarten stuff. We learned about different cultures and she set up these “trips” where we’d pretend we were in an airplane and “fly” to the country we were learning about. She would set up these “shops” where we could “buy” food and trinkets from the country with fake money. We had an EPIC fort we build out of boxes. We celebrated the Chinese New Year and did a ton of origami. I remember her class vividly and fondly. She recently reached out to my sister (who also had her) and I which was a really nice surprise and showed how much she loved her students.

Were/are you a teacher’s pet? In that class ^ yes. I could already read by the time I started Kindergarten and she’d ask me to read to the class every once in a while, which I LOVED.

Do you like pink lemonade? I don’t mind it but it’s not my first choice.

Do you have a Spotify account? I do.

Firefox or Chrome? Firefox for work, Chrome for everything else.

Safari or Internet Explorer? Neither, thanks.

Windows or Mac? Windows.

Desktop or laptop? Either is fine. I’m on a desktop currently at work.

What’s your favorite U2 song, if you have one? Eh.

What’s your favorite song that’s playing on the radio, if you have one? Anything Ariana right now.

What’s a song that you remember from your childhood? Graceland by Paul Simon.

Are/were your parents hippies? Yup.

Would you ever consider getting dreadlocks? No because I am white.

If you had a baby girl right now, what would her middle name(s) be? I am never ever ever having kids, but if hell froze over and we did have a daughter, her middle name would be Kay because it’s my mom’s middle name and also Mark’s mom’s middle name.

What heritage does your last name imply? German/Czech.

How about your middle name? I just looked it up because I never knew but apparently it’s Roman?

And first? My first name is Hebrew.

What is your heritage, anyway? German, Czech, Jewish, Finnish, Swedish, some other shit.

Were your parents born in the United States? Most importantly, were you? If not, what country? Yes.

Name an American stereotype? Lol.

Name a stereotype from your country/culture? Nah.

Do you have any paint in your house? Is it wall paint, art paint, or something else? I have art paint.

Do you ever swing at the playground & listen to music? No.

What was your favorite age so far? I don’t know.

What was your least favorite age so far? I don’t know.

Were you/are you in a rush to grow up? Nah.

What’s your opinion on tattoos in the workforce? How about piercings? I see no issue with either.

Do women breastfeeding in public make you feel uncomfortable? Why or why not? Nope. Why should it?

Do you know the band The Last Place You Look? No.

If not, you should check them out. Do you like A Day To Remember? If not, they’re a lot like The Last Place You Look. Cool story.

What is the most annoying commercial you’ve seen/heard this past week? I saw this ad on a YouTube video the other day that was selling some menstrual cup thing and it kept saying how you can’t have sex on your period?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

What is your favorite holiday? Halloween and Christmas.

What holidays do you choose not to participate in, but others celebrate? I’m sure there are a few.

“Happy Holidays,” “Merry Christmas,” or “Merry X-Mas?’ Whatever.

Does it even matter to you which one people say? No.

Why is that every major Christian holiday adopts Pagan traditions in its celebrations? Uh.

[briteboy]

(circumstantial name by @earnoodle)

IT’S FINALLY TIME FOR THE POST YOU’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR (or maybe just that one anon)

there’s a LOT in here, newer questions are generally first so if you asked something a while ago and you’re only interested in that, scroll towards the bottom. also doing wcifs separately (errr i’m gonna try my hardest to ok don’t crucify me)

this mass anons post includes topics ranging from Very Sweet Things Said To Me That I Don’t Deserve, nitpicking stranger things, crying over ramona, lou theories, Cillian Is A Fucking Creep theories (true), and completely unhelpful reshade advice

let’s f0cking do this

You're right, apart from carrying his stupid brain, Santi's head didn't do anything to any of us. I apologize for anon.

I'm pretty sure I said that already but I love Rooney and Santi's relationship so much I literally have no words for it

ME TOO LIKE IT’S JUST SO PURE TWO NOT-KIDS SCARED OF THE ADULT WORLD TRYING TO FIGURE THINGS OUT WITH THEIR WEIRD BRAINS TOGETHER ;__; i love them

YO i didnt know u were a demigirl!! im a demiboy nb Buddies

hell fuckin yeah dude!! we are starting a demi club

Ok but like I really want werewolves. Like I know it sounds stupid but we have vampire and while yes I love my bat babes, I want a giant pupper friend. I have story written out and plans for a cabin to build. Now I’m waiting for EA to give me my big hairy babes.

DUDE i want more supernatural stuff too, mostly witches like I NEED MY WITCHES AGAIN!!! ts3 witches were so good. i didn’t like ts3 werewolves much but i feel like they’d be super cool in ts4, knowing how the vampires came out. i NEED it

hihi! i've been very quietly (??) following your blog for some time now and i just fawn over your characters way too much ?? anywho, i've been wanting to start my own little simblr story but ,, i'm not entirely sure where to even start? i have so many stories that i'd love to get out there, and i have the means.. butt, how did you go about starting out?? so sorry this is so long but i look up to you a whole ton!!! ty ily! :-)

i’m the (??) lmao that’s me always but ahdhghdfkshg thank you so much!!!!! i’m so glad you love them, it means the world to me ;-; and listen, that was me, i had no idea how i was going to do it because i’d only seen ts3 stories up to that point and i thought there was like a set Way to tell stories but i had no idea what i was doing so i was like y’know what...i’m just gonna do it how i feel comfortable doing it and i’m gonna figure it out as i go along. so honestly try to roughly plan out what your stor(ies) will entail and if you get stuck on planning and can’t figure it out, just jump right into it, try to make a few scenes or get the ball rolling somehow, even if it’s just random posts (i mean that’s all my blog was until i decided to commit to santi’s story.) it’s always gonna feel weird and awkward at first, but you’ll get comfortable the more you do it and it’ll figure itself out, trust me!

I read through most of your story posts the other day and now I’m rereading it again just to torture myself some more (and maybe catch up on some posts I may have missed). I honestly don’t think I’ve come across a sims story that’s so beautifully written & includes such evocative pictures as yours. I’m really at a loss for words, it’s all so stunning. & after a nearly two-month long creative block, it’s planted the smallest seed of inspiration in the back of my mind, so thank you for your art.

AHHHH AHSDHKGKDSJG WHAT!!!!! it’s always crazy hearing that 1) people actually care about my stuff, and 2) that it inspires them. like i really cannot believe that, stilL!! thank you so so much, i’m so happy you enjoyed it (as torturous as it was, lmao) it seriously warms my heart that you’re getting your groove back in the creative world, that means more to me than ANYTHING!! good luck with your art or whatever you decide to do with that inspiration!

 can i pls have your editing skill please and thank you

i owe most my editing at this point to reshade so honestly get reshade and u will probably become better than me

o added u on animal crossing and when you added me back i was so happy,, your little person is sooo adorable ((:

OMG!! thank you!! everyone’s person on there is adorable i cry i love them all so much i’m so mad tho it won’t let me add any more friends!!! it probably cuts off at like 100 friends or something STUPID

First of all, I love you. Secondly, I love your photos so much. I'm legit about to just ditch sims 3 for 4 now because of your amazing posts. 😖

LMFAO no but really THANK YOU I LOVE YOU!!! if you can manage playing both i admire u, i’ve invested too much time and effort into ts4 to ever fully go back to any other sims games tbh

The new patch made my game unplayable! I'm crying, I miss my doggos...

NOOOOO!!! hopefully by now you’ve found a fix, i’m prayin for u

long time listener, first time caller yoooo. i like everyone love your stories and your sim aesthetic so so so much and just tbh i was offended on your behalf about that ask from that person wanting to novelize your stories. like you were way too nice. this is your intellectual property and it's fucked up that someone would think it'd be okay to duplicate it as long as they used a different medium. this is prob a bad one to repost just wanted to you to know you're an awesome, singular voice

omfg lmao this is a radio show now *z100 voice* tellem why ya mad euhhh first of all i can’t believe someone even ASKED that, i’m in shock because like what this is so foreign to me. people want to write about MY characters WHAT! like that alone...takes a long time to process. and like i know i should say no but then i feel mean but they’re also my creations so like idk. it warms my heart that you feel so strongly and would stand up for me like that i’m cryin thank u for calling in i love u

I JUST FINISHED YOUR ENTIRE STORY AND I'M NOT OK WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE PUTTING ME THROUGH THAT SHIT IT'S AN EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER AND I FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE ABUSED MY (NON EXISTENT) INNOCENCE WOW

I’M SO SORRY U HAD TO GO THROUGH THAT ALSO I APOLOGIZE FOR STEALING YOUR INNOCENCE I NEVER MEANT FOR THIS TO HAPPEN OSDAFKJDSK BUT THANK YOU FOR READING I’M GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT EVEN IF IT HURT YOU!!!

I've been up all night and it's now 11am. I'm completely binging on your stories bc I am in LOVE and need a Molly in my game asap. Do you think you'll ever upload her?

omG my freaking story inciting insomnia i’m so sorry for ur sleep schedule first of all, but at least that makes you identify with santi even more omg tho ;___; (how many times will i say ‘omg’ i wonder) i don’t think so because she is so dear to me and makes my heart ache, she is just so special, i dunno if i could ever release her into the wild like that lmao. i haven’t even shared her with my friends (not that i really ever had a reason to) but like yeah. maybe in the future that’ll change but right now, no, i’m sorry <3

To change the topic: Idk if you watch stranger things but I only managed to get to episode 3 of season 2 before I stopped watching lmao it was so bad and Billy (a certified Cunt) ruined the whole show for me

YEAH I DID! omg. i have a LOT of issues with this season (mostly in how badly they tried to retcon nancy and everyone else not caring about barb’s death, how bad the writing was in the realm of nancy and steve breaking up and then her and jonathan getting together...holy fuck it was so uncomfortable with that 40 yr old conspiracy theorist guy i couldn’t even enjoy my ship getting together lmao) also ur right, max and billy honestly did not offer anything to the story...like i loved max too but what was the point...billy acted like their presence and the reason they had to move was so dramatic when it was really nothing...unless they’re saving that for season 3 but like. the whole situation with billy was so anticlimactic. he was like a walmart version of henry from IT. like boohoo ur dad’s an asshole and then he beat up steve. good character arc. i liked max standing up for herself but really...that whole thing was so lackluster, i didn’t care about it at all. ALSO I HATED THAT THEY DIDN’T LET MAX AND ELEVEN BE FRIENDS!! i’m sure it’ll happen in season 3 but like c’mon...that would’ve made the max character feel a little more important to the story. anyway yeah fuck billy and i don’t get why everyone is lusting after him or his actor they’re both ugly! thanks for listening

I just got the sims 4 + city living and I’m so excited! I was really inspired by your stories and style in general... I was wondering what packs do you have and also what are your favourite sims 4 hairs? I’m having trouble finding ones and I love your style!

YAY I’M EXCITED FOR YOU!!! omg aww it warms my heart so much when people say i inspire them because i never anticipated that kind of response, thank you so much <3 hmmm i think i have all of them except glamour stuff and fitness stuff. and pretty much all the hairs i download are here or here. (or the subsequent ‘tf’, ‘cf’, ‘tm’ and ‘cm’ tags as well, according to age)

UHM a 19 year old and a 13 year old? Poor baby Lou... Also youre a brilliant writer i cant

😬😬😬  stay tuned ajasdhjhjsahd thank you so much!!!

My stan levels for you have increased so much? like thanks for being a good ally, clAps for femmesim!

lmao thank you, i don’t really deserve praise tho i’m just passing on the knowledge of those patient enough to teach me. just trying to do what i can with my privilege u know. ily

How do you have teeth showing in so many of your pictures of Lou and Molly, do you PS them in?

i’ve gotten this question before and it’s usually just the poses used! i do have some lipsticks that have teeth on them but i mostly use them for just rooney.

Honestly, a fight between Santi and that new guy (srry, forgot his name while typing this) would be so hot. Like, I hope Santi would win but like just watching Santi fight him for Lou would make me happy!! Also, I live for your stories💞

omG i’m about to call up vince mcmahon they both need to fight on smackdown it’s gonna happen. they’ll both be shirtless too ok and THANK YOU ILY

boi poc can be PREJUDICED against white people but there is no such thing as reverse racIIIIIIiiiiIIIIIiiiIIIIsm

Lemme just say that you must be feeling so stressed rn. I love you and your simblr!!! Your posts light up my day!! <3333

OMg kind of. this week has taken A Lot out of me and i really just want to chill at home and play my freaking GAME but obligations. u know. here’s hoping i get a day off this week. i’m mad i’m probably gonna miss gianni’s birthday too (it’s on tuesday) and i wanted to do something for it!! i’ll probably do it late like i did last year too lmao i’m so sorry baby g ANYWAY u didn’t ask to hear about any of this...thank you for this sweet message i love you <3

why,,,, are people... coming to your blog to discuss race you are a fucking simblr WHAT

the real question is why do people go to you like its your job to educate them lmao like theres so many resources out there

SHAWDY u aint wrong reverse racism is literally a joke i am so sorry you have to go through all of this keep stepping on white feelings we deserve it

I was wondering would u consider Asians to be POC?

yes

I just finished Strange the Dreamer and it was fucking amazing. I cried so much and I laughed and I sat in absolute amazement at the world Laini Taylor has created. 100/10 would recommend

ahhhh i really need to read it apparently!! i’m like 10% away from being done with a dance with dragons (and then i have to wait for the next book like a peasant HURRY UP KING GEORGE) anyway this one is definitely on my list!

omgomg!! I just met this girl in my class who has eyes just like ramona's!!! But like instead of being brown w/ a little bit of blue, they were blue w/ a little bit of brown!!! Dude I was so shook I rlly didn't think ppl had eyes like that!

OMG!!!! that’s amazing! and yes heterochromia is a real thing haha. i’ve only met one person with it and he had the same color combo as ramona too, only his was full heterochromia, not sectoral.

*me in the background screaming* nO yOU LEAVE HER ALoNE baD-DAD-MaN!

ME TF TOO

every time i read some of your stories i get an ache in my heart that doesn't go away until i either cry or sleep so interpret that as you like

OMG ;_____; ok me too tho my heart literally hurts thinking about my characters sometimes...mostly santi...i hate him (no i don’t :{ )

hey uhh idk if you've answered something like this before but do you have a spotify or something bc your music taste is GOLD

THANK YOU!! you were the first person to ask about this haha and hopefully you saw my answer to the other question about it! i just made one and it’s here!

hi hi ! i’m seeing all the drama on da blog and i really want to read the whole story but i can’t get to it on mobile so i was wondering if you could link the beginning and tell me what the best order to read it in is ( i’m so confused because i’ve seen sm people y’all about a parallel story so idk if i’m being dumb !! ) i hope this isn’t any inconvenience also your sims are so beautiful sjajsjajs

hey on mobile the link is just: http://femmesim.tumblr.com/tagged/story/chrono i would honestly just recommend that order haha, it makes things simpler and it encompasses ALL story posts, or posts that give context. there are parallels in my story, lou’s is kind of a parallel of santi’s, only different...well...you’ll see. but yeah sorry this is so late! and thank you!!!

TU HISTORIA ES TAAAAAN BUENA POR DIOOOOS (YOURE STORY IS SOOOOO GOOD OMG) <3 <3 *OO* *cries in spanish*

MUCHAS GRACIAS ENCANTADORA PERSONAAAA <333

lou is wendy right? i mean, a wendy complex is someone who is overly mothering to partners, and lou is already a mother and ik that doesn't really count as foreshadowing but it seems like it could be a link to me. it'd make sense too, considering guys that go after younger girls (ew) are usually immature ie peter pan complex. it'd make the most sense that those two go together then.

heheheheh that is a VERY good observation...that’s all i’m gonna say!!

This has nothing to do with what's happening in the story rn, but whatever. I was wondering if you were going to mention lou's struggles with being a single mom and the stigma surrounding single motherhood? As a single mother myself I'd really enjoy seeing you take on the issue. Personally, my biggest problem was overcoming the generalizations people put on you when you're a single mom. People always assumed that I that I was stupid and uneducated because I had my son when I was 17.

yes! that will definitely come up. i will focus a lot on her struggles as a single mom. so far i’ve mostly just peppered in some stuff about money troubles, and that will come up again, and the issues you mention will be pretty central to her character as well. i’m sorry you have to endure that, it’s not fair. people don’t even realize how strong and dedicated single mothers are.

when you say Peter Pan, do you mean the Disney stuff or the og creepy stuff?

i mean the general themes of the story and how that translates into a peter pan complex: boy who never grows up, feels like he fits in more with younger people (haha...yikes), read the message above because that anon described the other half of the equation better than i could

Wait, hold up. That dude is cute but I feel like he’s coming onto Lou way too strong. I have a bad feeling.. Lou is like 13 there and he is 19 I mean I’ve seen bigger gaps between people, but she is not legal yet.. Where are you going with this? 🤨😅

yyyyyyep that feeling is warranted! i am going a way i don’t think you guys expect me to go...i think you’ll be very confused at the end of this part lmao. that being said, i’m not putting any of this in for shock value or to romanticize inappropriate relationships like this. (i’m probably going to be repeating that a LOT for this story but please just keep that in mind)

Hey mom wanna hear a fun as hell story? I just got back from the ER bc I fell on my razor after showering, and practically cut my nipple in half. (I am in so much pain hELP)

OMFG NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR POOR NIPPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’M SO SORRY I HOPE IT FEELS BETTER PLEASE UPDATE ME ON THE NIPPLE STATUS

U gotta watch sense8!!! Apart from the v awkward sex scenes it's v good, has a lot of representation and shit Just watch that shit show, u won't regret it (And if you do I cut your throat oops)

i’ve heard it’s good! i remember when it first came out and everyone was like Wow The Representation so honestly anything with diversity has already got me hooked pls don’t murder me.

I'm calling it now. He's Fi's dad. and he's a FUCKING CREEP!! Bitch you are 19!! LOU IS 13!! BACK THE FUCK OFF YOU PERV!!

no spoilers or anything but honestly i’m with you @ cillian die

Are they gonna fucc, o no

right now? no. that would be Very Bad

bABY ITS COLD OUTSIDE

oh same

Hi ! Your lastest edit (graveyard girl) is truly amazing, how did you make that bokeh behind her ? 😱😍

thank you so much!!! it’s reshade (with matso DOF)!

You've probably got this question a lot of times but i can't find the answer for it. What reshade do you use?

i gotta add this to my faq, it’s one i created myself but i started out with this one (it totally doesn’t resemble that one anymore but i think it’s a good starting point)

how do you make good looking male sims? mine always look the same and kinda girly..

hmmm longer faces, prominent chins and jaws, smaller eyes, bigger noses...generally yeah

What do you mean 9 + alt?

you gotta turn bb.moveobjects on and then press alt + 9 when an object is selected to move it upward. so what i did with those poses i made was, i selected a teleporter and pressed alt + 9 until it was at a spot i liked on the roof. that’s why releasing those poses would be tricky, ‘cause every build is different so there’s no set way to place them, you just kinda have to play around with them

You mentioned GoT so naturally, I have to chime in and express my love for Jon. Honestly, he won me over ever since the first season? I'm at season 5 now and people have already warned me so now i'm silently weeping, waiting for something to happen to my precious bby help

JONNY BOY!!!!!!!!!!! i loved his emo ass since the beginning but his arc with qorin halfhand (was he in the show??) was probably the best arc in book 2 and then his book 3 arc was just...SO GOOD, SO MUCH happens to him and i just felt like i was watching my son go through it all...i love that boy so much ;-; i’m almost at the end of the last book and i’m scared for him because of the one spoiler i know lmao and you’re at that point too so GET READY we’ll go through it together ok

So there's this game I'm playing where someone talking about another character says 'maybe you can break him from his ouroboros of self-fladulation' (I know I probably butchered those spellings but I'm not a bright egg and autocorrect isn't helping rip) and tbh it made me think of Santi. (Also I'mma scream of you get this reference jsyk)

OMG THE FACT THAT YOU THOUGHT OF HIM ;-; and it’s okay u are the brightest egg in the bunch to me. I’M SORRY I DON’T GET THIS REFERENCE BECAUSE I’M NOT A VIDEO GAME PERSON BUT I’LL PRETEND I DO KNOW WHAT UR TALKING ABOUT anyway yes santi is currently in the process of breaking his self-flagellation and embracing the oneness of the ouroboros (as opposed to letting the cycle repeat itself until he’s worn down to nothing)

do you have any favorite pose creators?

answered

do you have any tips for taking good screenshots in game? like how to get the good angles and good quality? i play on ultra but i think when i zoom in and then use the arrows on my keyboard to move around, the pictures gets less clear and looks kinda blurry. how should i do this?

well if you’re already using ultra, there’s not much you can do lmao. sims 4 is just bad with textures in general. it also depends on the objects as well, some are better quality than others. if i zoom in far on a sim’s face, i generally know there will be some pixelation and i can clean that up in photoshop with topaz clean and the smudge tool. i am very reliant on photoshop sometimes lmao. it sounds like you already have the basics of taking good screenshots, it’s just sometimes you have to fight and work with sims 4′s less-than-hd quality.

burn it down by daughter reminds me of santi & i'm in pain

ouroboros!!! death! birth! death again! birth again rinse repeat! also santi breaking the cycle because third time's the charm

The tattoo is an Ouroboros. It originated in Egyptian iconography, and it symbolizes recreation. My boy's recreating himself, I'm so proud.

ouroboros, the dragon eating its own tail. it's a sign of eternal renewal

i saw the post of child molly and just started BAWLING i miss her what the fuck she's my fave character i'M CRYING

ME TOO BICH!! ME FUCKIN TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i just read all of A Serious Case Of The Novembers so far and theres still tears on my face. some of the best stuff ive read in a while, great job on everything

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! ALSO I’M SORRY FOR MAKING YOU CRY

every time you write about molly and her in heaven it makes my heart swell, like the characters were answering asks and someone asked her what heaven was like and even though it was so small short lil answer it still pulls at the heart strings, basically what im trying to say is that your writing is so good! <3

omg ;_______; me too, i feel like she has such a simple way with words and although her descriptions of heaven are brief, they are also complex and beautiful, and even just writing it chokes me up ;-; thank you so much tho i’m so glad you like it!!

Molly: out Molly tatto: also out

why did this remind me of this post:

How did you edit in the fire in the last post? Looks cool

i searched things like “bonfire” and pasted parts of it that i wanted on the pic to make it look more realistic, then put a layer mask on the pasted pic and erased the edges and stuff to make it blend in better. the sparks and stuff i added by pasting it onto a new layer and changing the blending mode to screen! 

idk if you have every watched grey anatomy but Lou's backstory is starting to remind me of Jo (Jo is a character from the show) like Jo was in a abusive relationship and she is married to the guy but she cant get divorced or he will come and find her. So like if Lou didn't tell Fiona's dad he was a dad and Lou was married to him and cant escape the marriage (cause abuse), plus it would explain Lou's kink with being choked ;) full circle *god-like heaven music with tiniest violin is playing now*

ooh no i don’t but that’s interesting and i’m excited you even made a connection like that! i will say that it’s not lou who likes to be choked (the very opposite actually lmao) but otherwise the situation does kinda fit. i’m the violin

I have a freakin bio pre ap test tomorrow on photosynthesis and i have no idea what it is im going to fail save me

I’M ANSWERING THIS VERY LATE BUT I HOPE YOUR TEST WENT WELL!!!!!! *spongebob voice* photosynthesis

last time I installed reshade I couldn't get it to open the controls or shaders or anything in game :///// any tips?? I love they way reshade looks too!!

hmmmmm well i know the control panel opens when you press shift + f2, and then you check the boxes of the effects you want on them. i haven’t heard of this problem so i dunno what other advice to give i’m sorry :{ if it’s your first time installing it, you might have to wait a little to get it to load up.

Da puppy is so cute!!!

That dog and Romona are so adorable, I might cry

Ramona's cheeks are so big im in love

NAJKSDJGKJSD THANK YOU i love her and her chubby cheeks ;-;

OMG TOTORO IS SO BEAUTIFUL I LOVE GHIBLI UGH FKSJFJANFB

SAME!!!!!!! if i could only watch ghibli movies for the rest of my life i’d be totally fine with that

THE DOGGIE HAS EYES JUST LIKE RAMONAS IM GONNA FUCKIGN CRY

ME FUCKGN TOO!!!!!!!!!! it was fate (aka me creating the wolf pup to look just like her shh i am fate)

Hope I'm not bothering you but i wondered if you knew how to make Tamo sims eyebags work on a toddler? Do I just click in s4s to work for toddler on the "age and gender flags" when looking in My CC or do I have to do something a little more than that please? Thank you.

for any skin detail or makeup, you have to go into s4s and open the package up, go to one of the tabs (honestly i don’t remember which one because i don’t have it open rn lmao) and you’ll see the different age groups and you check the box for toddler. and then save it of course. (there’s probably a better guide on how to do this somewhere lmao)

Hey :) Sorry to take up your time, I was wondering if you use win7, win8 or win10? I'm trying to decide on one and people seem to have very strong feelings about it. Also what web browser do you use? I've used Firefox, but I had some problems on CC websites. Thanks<3

i use windows 10 because it came with my laptop lmao i honestly don’t know much about windows systems at all!! and i use google chrome because it’s never failed me (even though windows keeps pressuring me to use the new internet explorer called “edge”)

i just finished all of novembers in a sitting and 1. i'm Sobbing, 2. your music taste is bomb

THANK YOU!!! my music taste is like one part indie shit, one part rap and hip-hop, twelve parts emo middle school bands

what is the size of the original unedited screenshot?

1920x1080

For reshade when your first install and select the reshade you want to use do you have to edit the settings? Cause last time I tried to (I didn’t know what most of the things meant lmao) but it kept saying error or something so I couldn’t play the game so I ended up taking out reshade

do you mean the preset you want to use? i mean no you can just play with that preset, you don’t have to change anything about it. i’m not sure what you mean but i followed this guide for setting it up

Will you ever share your preset?? Or maybe a preset made be you??

i’ve answered this before but the answer is Maybe

Hi!!!! How do you make the rays of light you have in your photos?? THANK U BBY <3333

that’s actually in my editing tutorial but here you go <3

is reshade only available on windows + do we need to pay for it

yes and no

Hello love! I was wondering (and maybe it's a dumb question, idk) but what life span setting do you use? I would assume you turned off aging for your story but maybe I'm wrong ;w; Thank you!!

i do actually have aging off ‘cause i’m a coward lmao even in the ts3 days when i wasn’t doing story stuff and literally just playing i had it off for the most part and just aged sims up when i wanted because i like to be in control of Everything (aries)

I really just wanted to say that I’m new I your tumblr but your stories are amazing and I love them so much!!! Keep doing what you’re doing💞👏🏼

hey thank you!!! you are so kind and i’m glad you’re enjoying everything!!

In your reshade settings where have you set it to save your SS's to and which key please? I can't find mine after setting it to desktop/screenshots :(

i just set mine to ts4′s screenshots folder because it’s what i was used to and it works for me haha. hmmmmmm did you copy the exact address or whatever it’s called of your folder’s location and then paste it into the reshade box? try doing that with another location and see if it works. if anything you can do what i did ‘cause it worked for me 

ok SO i came across this music video for this like spanish/english speaking indie band called The Marías and the song was déjate llevar and literally everything about the music video reminded me of rooney and gianni

OMMMGGG i love this so much, i cry @ music suggestions and this is so them ;-; i think i’ve heard of this band before actually!!

a little life is going to fucking ruin you,,, just a warning

great! i look forward to it

can a steal ur talent

have it i don’t need it

What app are you using to make them cool edit things??

i tagged it but it was doodle face

omg Strange the Dreamer is so freaking amazing! It’s literally one of my favorite books of all time; You’ll love it. The writing is absolutely delightful

you guys are really singin the praises for this book!! i have so many dang books to read i swear