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#the red comet girls
damonalbarnsgf · 1 year
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getting weepy and weirdly ecstatic thinking about how well amyp clara and martha coincide with the red comet girls. if you get it . you get it!
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dylanlila · 1 year
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INTRODUCING: ☆RED COMET GIRLS☆
@thehoax @jonismitchell @clarasamelia are a genre-free band science club (because same thing right?)
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jonismitchell · 2 months
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the selection of characters red comet girls assigned me... holly golightly... meg ryan in a nora ephron romcom... cameron of house m.d.... dani clayton... annie edison... céline from before sunrise... it's just so perfect
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wiswa09 · 1 month
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I'm thrilled to have "Red Comet: The Short Life and Blazing Art of Sylvia Plath" by Heather Clark in my hands. This monumental biography, spanning over 1,000 pages, offers a detailed and comprehensive reappraisal of Plath’s life and work. Through deep analysis and unprecedented access to unpublished letters and archives, Clark paints a nuanced portrait of Plath, highlighting her brilliance and the complexity of her life beyond the tragic myths that often surround her. I can't wait to dive into this read and discover new facets of one of the most important, iconic and enigmatic poets of the 20th century.
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New Crusaders: Rise of the Heroes #1: Ashes to Ashes (Part 1): Reunions
Cover Credits
Regular Cover Art: Ben Bates
Variant Cover Pencils/Inks: Ryan Jampole
Variant Cover Colors: Matt Herms
Blue Ribbon Comics Hero Variant Cover Art: Ben Bates
Story Credits
Writer: Ian Flynn
Pencils: Ben Bates
Inks: Gary Martin
Colors: Matt Herms
Letters: John Workman
Editorial Team
Editor/Line Editor: Paul Kaminski
Assistant Editor: Vincent Lovallo
RED CIRCLE Braintrust: Ian Flynn, Paul Kaminski, Alex Segura, & Mike Pellerito
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blueflannelsuit · 2 years
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One thing about sex. I hate comfortable rituals. I like all sorts of positions at a lot of odd times of day, & really feel terrific and made new from every cell when I am done. I actually wondered at one point if Ted was sick. Well, of course, how can one keep up that intensity & variety every day & night for over 6 years. A biological and psychological impossibility I would think. And I have my pride. I mean, I was not schooled with love for 2 years by my French lover for nothing. I have in me a good tart
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But I must say, I get a terrific sensual pleasure in being light & slender & fucking as well...What I don't want to be is an unfucked wife. I get bitter then, & cross. And I feel wasted. And I don't just mean the token American what-is-it twice a week, front to front, "thank you darling' either.
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Even as SP's work continues wrongly to be subjected to superficial analysis and as she is reductively labeled the Patron Saint of Sad Girls, let us praise Heather Clark for including these ^^^ journal passages and not letting us forget that Sylvia Plath fucked. Who else was doing it like her? I'll wait.
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Also, SP's Platinum Summer was the blueprint for Hot Girl Summer. Megan Thee Stallion, who? Chet Hanks, who? Your faves are shaking rn and their wigs are snatched. Sorry bout it.
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atthebell-moved · 2 years
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really feeling my side icon atm
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kindledspiritsbooks · 2 years
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My Month in Books: January 2023
Red Comet: The Short and Blazing Art of Sylvia Plath by Heather Clark Many would ask how it is possible to write a 1300 page biography about a woman who only lived for thirty years. Those people clearly don’t understand just how much incredible and ground-breaking writing Sylvia Plath managed to produce in such a tragically short period of time. Clark paints a vivid and human portrait of a…
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mumms-the-word · 5 months
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I like to think each of the BG3 companions makes a little change in their appearance/outfit after the game ends, if they’ve been persuaded to distance themselves from their abusers gods and masters
like Gale stops wearing the Mystra earring for something else, something he feels more connected to (something related to his partner, perhaps)
Wyll replaces his sending stone eye with a different prosthetic eye. maybe he has a collection! maybe they’re magical in different ways!
Shadowheart throws her Sharran circlet away to experiment with other jewelry (she already changes her hair to white, so why not go a teeny step further?)
Astarion doesn’t really wear any trappings of Cazador but I like to think a spawn version of him would be interested in wearing more colorful ensembles, rather than the tired black and red (even though he looks good in black and red)
Lae’zel begins incorporating more comet motifs if she’s fighting against Vlaakith, or wearing more non-gith clothing if she’s hanging out in the Sword Coast
Karlach, at last, after finally escaping the hells for good and forever, starts dressing in something other than protective/fire-resistant leather. Nothing wrong with leather, but a girl wants to wear something soft every now and again and it’s good to know she can wear something like cotton or linen without setting it on fire
Halsin finally laying down his druidic armor and…well, we know he’d just go without clothing entirely if he could, but getting comfortable with wearing casual, non-armor outfits all the time, getting comfortable with the fact that he doesn’t have to don symbols and medallions showing his leadership role and allegiance to a specific grove (and probably very relieved to finally set those down and never pick them up again)
Minthara contemplating having someone retattoo the symbol on her neck to obscure the connections to House Baenre or adding another tattoo elsewhere to memorialize her allegiance to either herself or her romanced partner
I just like the idea of the companions acknowledging the little ways they’ve reinvented or adjusted their identities by making little cosmetic changes
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starlightdelrey · 5 months
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the view between villages
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platonic ! f1 grid x reader
summary: f1 is a dangerous sport - it's common knowledge. but accidents - bad accidents - aren't as common. seeing the youngest (and only female) driver crash and not immediately respond is something the boys never thought they'd have to experience, and the rest of the world is just as devestated.
cw: major accident, graphic descriptions of injury and vehicular damage, graphic descriptions of car accident, mentions of death, blood and gore, negative emotions such as sadness and regret, angst, mentions of religion,
song pairing is "the view betwen villages" by noah kahan
(not based on any particular race)
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today's race felt off to begin with. When y/n had attempted to leave her aging yorkie, comet, in her hotel room - like she had done for the past couple months - he began to whine.
"poor baby," she mocked, but turned the small TV on and switched it to the channel that would be broadcasting the race live. "look, com. watch me on the tv."
the dog had complied and jumped onto the un-made bed, but when she left and closed the door, he had whined once or twice before calming down.
she made a mental note to get him checked out at the vet, but got distracted when she showed up to the paddock and got a look at the track.
"the weather wasn't as shit yesterday during quali," she said off-handedly to max verstappen, who was chatting to the engineers.
"are you worried?" y/n was a good racer, it was clear - but whenever max saw how small she looked in comparison to everyone else on the team he had a small sense of dread. it wasn't new, just annoying.
"nah." she grinned at him, her hair already pulled back into a french braid for ease during the race.
---
"lights out.... and away we go!"
the lights blink out and y/n is already gunning it, attempting to bypass the boys from mclaren.
she discovered early on that locking up would be her main issue today, and she made it clear on her radio.
"i keep locking up."
her voice was calm but shook a little as she struggled to steer, and she spoke only in short sentences to prevent stuttering.
"copy."
finally, she worked out a system to braking that prevented the struggle, but in speeding up, found that she'd made her way into a mass of cars.
"watch out, y/n. keep out of trouble - wait until everybody else has moved out of each others way."
"ok. pulling back-" the radio crackled and then went silent as a car careened into the side of her.
---
the audiences at home got to watch a replay of the impact.
somewhere in australia, a family consisting of two parents, a teenaged boy and a little girl are watching the race.
the boy reacts first, jolting. "was that logan sargeant and y/n y/ln?"
"yeah... turn up the volume?"
the mother grabs the remote and obliges, terse.
"was that the girl driver?" the barely 5 year old asks, brows furrowed.
"baby, go play in the other room." her father dismisses her, and when she slowly shuffles out, eyes trained on the screen as the commentators relay the details, her dad huffs.
"now. and don't look at the screen anymore."
she squeals and runs out, and the boy starts to jiggle his knee up and down as they wait for more information.
across the world, houses go silent.
---
"and it looks like logan sargeant attempts to pull away from the crowd but misjudges the distance between himself and y/ln. we can see him here slam right into the right side of the body of her car, and she goes spinning out, right into barricades. oh! and if we slow it down, you can see that the force of her chassis hitting the barricades not only forces the car to lift fully off of the ground, but it also tips - the top of the vehicle flips up into the barricade until it falls back into place. that is a nasty hit for rookie red bull driver y/n y/ln."
the commentators keep talking, thinking nothing of the accident, until the cameras switch to the red bull team, who are trying to get into contact with the girl.
"y/n, are you okay?"
silence.
"can you respond? y/n we need a vocal response. anything, okay kid? even if you can just hold down on the radio button so we know you're there."
no response.
the commentators continue.
"and it looks like we're getting no response from red bull driver y/n, who has just crashed."
---
his whole body jerks on the impact, and he spins out off the track, coming to a shaky stop.
"shit, shit, shit!" his voice cracks.
"are you okay, mate?" the radio crackles at him as he's fighting back tears.
"yeah - was that y/n i hit?"
"yes, we can confirm the crash involved both you and y/ln. we are receiving word that it is a red flag crash."
"is she okay?" he doesn't get a response at first, so he tries again. "is y/n okay?"
"no word yet. sorry, logan."
"fuck! i'm so sorry - i really thought it was clear, i just... fuck."
"calm down, sargeant. wait for pick-up and keep yourself collected. we'll tell you as soon as we find anything out, okay mate?"
"sure."
he lifts himself from the smoking chassis and the world watches as he kicks it out of frustration before letting his head lower.
there's a sickening feeling in his stomach as he sees the girls unmoving vehicle.
he pictures her inside, and the fact that she's so much smaller than the older men cause his mind to unravel with pictures of her limp and unconscious.
---
inside the car, y/n blinks her eyes open, groaning.
her ears are ringing and her head hurts, and the body of her car is so warped that it's vacuum sealed her into the vehicle.
in the back of her mind, y/n feels the pain in her right thigh and left ankle, and her right shoulder feels dislocated.
"kid, we need an answer." the radio's muted and crackling, and when y/n tries to respond, she realizes that something on her end is fucked because they're still begging for an answer.
she goes to climb out of the car, but a sob tears out of her chest at the immense pain that suddenly blooms throughout her whole body.
she falls heavily back onto the seat and pants, closing her eyes.
she feels slight relief from the pain when she fully relaxes and closes her eyes, and nestles into her seat a little to get comfortable.
the need to sleep takes over her and she obeys, nodding off.
---
inside her hotel room, comet's ears pull back in concern as he hears his owners name being called out repeatedly from the television.
---
"red flag, max. we need to restart the race."
verstappen stills, his ears suddenly ringing. he has a bad feeling about the red flag but just can't place it.
"what's happened?"
"there was a crash between a williams and y/n. to the pit lanes, please." the voice on the other end seems calm, but there's a waver to it.
"fuck, are you joking? are they both okay?"
"the williams driver... logan sargeant, we're hearing, is up and out of his chassis. we've heard nothing from y/n yet."
he'd fight them, ask for more information, but knows that red bull would be the first to hear anything.
"tell me if you find anything out."
"copy."
as he drives to the pit lane, max replays her grin at him as she reassures the dutchman.
"nah." her nose is scrunched and hair pulled out of her face.
he thinks about how bulky the helmet looked on her, the barely 20 year old driver somehow never managing to put on any muscle, no matter how hard she tried.
he prays to jesus, zeus, allah, and even the virgin mary - surely she'd have sympathy to max's prayers, as she's lost someone dear to her before. any deity he can think of is immediately begged to ensure the safety of his partner.
---
a whining noise pulls y/n back into consciousness, and she furrows her brows.
"i'm trying to sleep, com. shut up." when she opens her eyes and sees the battered cockpit in front of her, she realizes that she's not hearing her dog cry, it's just the ringing in her ears that are back.
and then suddenly all she can see is comet waiting for her. comet, waiting in a hotel room that she'll never re-enter. what's gonna happen to the mutt if she dies? her parents are over-seas, she has no boyfriend to look after him. comet would be all alone.
and then all the guys on the grid are flashing through her head. she knows, vacantly, that logan crashed into her. he'd never forgive himself if she died. verstappens win streak would be fucked if he was grieving over his teammate. even lewis hamilton, who was the first driver to openly back her as the only woman on the grid.
she screws her eyes shut and lets out a heavy sob, steeling herself.
---
the commentators are no longer focused on the race.
"and i think i can speak for all of us when i ask, where is the goddamn safety car and ambulance? young driver y/n y/ln has been stuck in the wreck for about a minute and a half now, and there has still been no aid for her. which is a cause for concern about the overall safety of f1, as- oh my god!"
---
charles is already on his way back to the pit lanes, muttering manifestations under his breath for y/n to be okay.
he's shaking, filled with lead and a lump in his throat. he and y/n aren't super close, due to their team differences, but every time he spoke to her she had a certain gleam in her eye that one only had when they weren't afraid of death.
this worried him. racing was her life - would she succumb easily? it was a known fact that many drivers drove as if they had nothing to lose.
the idea of her choking on mortality in her chassis scared him more. maybe her body was broken, and the pain was all she could feel as the life drained from her? he worried for those that would have to witness the blood and bruises when she was pulled from her car.
"we've got an update on y/n."
he was pulled out of his mind. "tell me. please."
"she's getting herself out. the paramedics were taking too long, so she took it upon herself, apparently." a startled laugh falls out of charles' lips as he cheers back.
---
muscles screaming, y/n forces herself to lift out of the cockpit, allowing her body the only relief of rest once her upper half is slung over the halo. for about five seconds she stops, before she forces herself to continue.
the safety car and paramedics are here now, and camera crew for the live footage plus the netflix crew are close behind.
people are shouting at her to stop, but she continues to claw her way out of the wreckage.
she's crying and praying to a god she never knew she believed in as she forces her broken legs out of the car, sliding over the side to the ground.
she stands and looks around at the medical crew who are advancing towards her and tries to take her helmet off. she can't, and they're reassuring her that they'll do it for her.
y/n looks out at the audience and raises one arm to greet them. she's met with immediate raucous applause and, swaying for a few seconds, she falls.
---
"you would never believe it. this lady is pulling herself out of her car. as the camera zooms, you can really see the absolute strength this is taking her - hold on, we're getting audio now."
the world watches with bated breath as the coverage of her climbing out of the car begins to play. you can hear the agonised screams she lets out as she forces herself to exit, and just how broken some of her limbs look. her left ankle hangs limply, and she has to use both arms to force her right leg out of the cockpit.
"what a magnificent scene. y/n y/ln has kissed death, and still lives to tell the tale. we see her now, standing on the track as the medical staff come to her aid, and she falls. a very fair response to what she has just gone through. a round of applause to y/n y/ln, the girl who kissed death!"
---
"so lando, congratulations on p4. obviously, the whole crash between logan and y/n caused a damper on the overall race. how do you feel about it?" the interviewer pushed a mic at his face.
"the crash? yeah, it was terrifying not knowing if she was okay or not. i'm not surprised she ended up climbing out of the chassis herself," he laughs softly. "i've never known her for being patient."
"how do you feel about her new nickname?"
"nickname?"
"people are calling her 'the girl who kissed death'."
lando can't stop a high-pitched laugh from escaping. "girl who kissed death? that's stupid. oh god, i can't wait for her to find out about that. she'll be proper pissed off."
"right, well, thanks lando. have fun celebrating!" the interviewer bids him farewell.
---
a few months later:
over the healing process, y/n was forced to give multiple statements, post social media posts, and even a quick video from the hospital bed, but when she sees comet, her resolve finally fails.
she begins to tear up as the scruffy dog barks at her, jumping up and down.
"someone's excited to see you," lewis hamilton, the temporary guardian of the dog, grins.
roscoe stomps his feet and licks y/n, panting at her.
"awe, little babies. i was so scared of dying and leaving comet all alone, but i think he would've been fine."
lewis glances down at the kneeling girl in front of him and tsks, nudging her with his foot. "don't say that, y/n. nobody would've been fine."
"yeah?"
"yeah. have you seen all the tiktok edits of your crash? people were terrified. i was terrified."
y/n doesn't say anything, but stands to hug the british man.
he holds her back, before clearing his throat. "save that love for death. heard you've kissed it before."
"fuck off."
--- la fin ---
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princewhowaspromised · 2 months
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GEORGE R. R. MARTIN’S STATEMENTS AND HOUSE OF THE DRAGON INDICATING THAT DAENERYS TARGARYEN IS THE PROPHESIED HERO OF A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE
George R. R. Martin: *associates Daenerys with the founder of the Targaryen dynasty who intended to unite Westeros in preparation for the War for the Dawn - she’s literally called “Aegon the Conqueror with teats”*
*has Daenerys dream about burning white walkers with dragonfire* 
*makes it clear that Daenerys is Azor Ahai/Princess That Was Promised* (“Azor Ahai shall […] wake dragons out of stone”/“No one ever looked for a girl. […] Daenerys is the one. […] The dragons prove it.”)
*confirms that Daenerys and her dragons are the Fire - which, according to his own description, symbolizes “love”, “passion” and “sexual ardor” in contrast to Ice representing “betrayal”, “revenge” and “cold inhumanity” - of A Song of Ice and Fire*
House of the Dragon (note that GRRM had more influence on that show than on Game of Thrones): *plays a song called “The Prince That Was Promised” - which was inspired by Daenerys’ theme songs - during the reveal of Aegon I’s prophetic dream (which came from GRRM himself)*
*has Aegon I name his dream ‘the song of ice and fire’ - which, as the GRRM himself already confirmed, refers to the Others and Daenerys Targaryen and her dragons*
*reveals that Aegon I’s dream (aka the song of ice and fire) is about a Targaryen king or queen - most likely Daenerys Targaryen - uniting humanity against the Others*
*has Daemon see the red comet (aka the herald of Azor Ahai) before it cuts to Daenerys (aka Aegon the Conqueror with teats, Azor Ahai Returned/Prince That Was Promised, the Fire of ASOIAF) and her dragons (aka Lightbringer) in his prophetic dream*
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damonalbarnsgf · 3 months
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uquizzes are back!
which member of our friend group/band(red comet) are you?
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(you can picture us as the above image for reference)
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dylanlila · 3 months
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if i dissappear do not worry, it means i have successfully followed my gut and destroyed my phone forever
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jonismitchell · 2 months
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i need @amypondsun and @damonalbarnsgf to hear this
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sunboki · 5 months
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— THE ALCHEMIST. a Lee Minho fiction
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Lee Minho x f. reader
TROPE. historical! au, set in 1940’s Korea, alchemist! au, friends to lovers, fluff, angst
WARNINGS. abusive behavior toward women, impoverished communities, overall sexist beliefs of the time, reader dresses as a man, mentions of death & disease, smoking (not reader or minho), war conflict, making out??
WORD COUNT. 9.6k words
AUG'S NOTES. although it was a bit out of the blue, i had such a great time writing and shaping this universe, thank you to all the love and support thus far<3 also, huge thanks to @comet-falls for instilling the peaky blinders/historical! minho vision in my head with how incredible tooth and claw was, i truly owe it to you :)
SYNOPSIS. Cities stricken with poverty, the lack of male presence in your home while surviving in a male-dominated society leaves meager food on the table and a piling debt. Left no choice but to make a risky decision, you decide that, if biology wanted to fail you, you’d simply try another approach.
alternatively :
In which deception introduces you into an entirely new reality, and The Alchemist.
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It’s one thing surviving with the knowledge you can change something, whatever it may be that’s wrong. 
It’s another when that problem isn’t merely changeable, but biological. 
Your problem? You’re a woman. 
Not as easy to fix, right?
.
.
.
With your father lost in the war, fruitlessly straining to support a family of girls, the household is left helpless.
Representation is nonexistent, and merely walking outside frets harassment and laughter struck in your face at the mention of working. 
A woman, working? Hilarious. 
Or, apparently to the men in pubs it certainly is.
Some things you can’t change, yes, but there are always alternatives. And as for now, you’re helplessly searching high and low for that alternative, whatever it may be. 
Selling yourself is possible, though the inability to remain connected to your family eliminates that option. 
When you get so desperate, there’s no incentive in guarding your pride. Because being called derogatory names isn’t as bad as losing them, the people you call home.
October welcomes little warmth, biting your fingertips and sending a tremor of chills cascading down your spine. Minimal sunlight peers through dense clouds, shrouding the atmosphere in a depressing haze. 
You’re on your way to the apothecary, but not to purchase anything. The pennies in your pocket won’t amount to anything in the face of medicinal prices, which happens to be one of your many alternatives. 
Since day one, you’ve had a rock to rely on.
Medicine. 
Lack of money meant improper living conditions, entailing sickness. 
Constantly.
Whether it was your mother, your younger sister, yourself, an infection of some sort occupied your respiratory system, wreaking havoc for wallets and mental health altogether. 
Purchasing necessary medication became impossible the further you drowned in your debt, to the point drastic measures needed to be taken in order to prevent death from infesting itself in the household as well.
Then came the question. If you couldn’t purchase the medicine itself, why not collect the ingredients?
Alternatives.
Behind the apothecary you discovered mint hedges that, if mixed with wormwood and balm, could aid in curing Sun-ja’s current sickness, colic. 
Although, you’d have to be swift in your efforts, ensuring the shop owner didn’t notice your presence.
Too many times had you nearly been caught, risking a good beating from the red-haired, burly man regarded as Mr. Myeong.
Fiery red hair complimented an equally unruly personality you aimed not to cross by. Ever.
Yet, unlike Mr. Myeong, his wife was the polar opposite, an ideal magnet. She was petite and soft-spoken, but out of her appealing traits, you found her resilience to be most attractive.
Mrs. Myeong is stubborn. She’s strong in what she believes, sporting an unquestionably vocal opinion that can’t be quenched.
The woman is, likely, the only woman capable of sealing her husband’s mouth shut.  
Hidden between thorn ridden weeds sits your desired leaves, abundant in supply.
You clutch your satchel closer, plucking as quickly as possible whilst crouched to the ground, maneuvering through tickling grasses and itchy reeds. 
Your mission remains successful, until the wretched sound of a doorknob rips your head upward, the red-haired man in question standing nonplussed, arms crossed. 
He wears a cocked brow, examining what you’re desperately trying to veil away.
Your heart leaps into your throat.
“Stealing, are we?” Black boot clad frame thumping closer, you immediately prepare to run, hair standing on end like an agitated feline.
Instead, his huge hand swoops down to grab your collar, other evidently ready to land a harsh slap to your face.
Instinctively cringing, you brace for the stinging impact.
That is, before a saccharine, lullaby-worthy voice rings from the cracked doorway, belonging to none other than Mrs. Myeong.
“Honey! Have you seen the new envelope that came in?” 
Heels clicking whilst padding over cobblestone to where you two stand, her husband fixates you with a stern, threatening glare. 
Finally dropping your frame to the ground, you slump forward, pulse pounding loud enough you fear your chest may implode. 
Mrs. Myeong, though wearing a taut expression, ushers him off, delivering a curt nod your way, intentional brows furrowed in place. 
‘Thank you’ You wish to say, but hold your tongue, watching them disappear inside.
Another time.
Walking home was rather uneventful (much to your delight), left to enjoy the crisp, cool air sifting through your lungs in steady rhythm, the lazy billows of cigar smoke dwindling from gaping doorways.
Calm. 
Nothing calm ever lasts long.
Stashing the house key back into your decrepit leather draw bag, your footsteps still upon entering, struck terror-filled.
Your mother, strawn across the floor, hacks amongst her rampant coughs, body convulsing in desperate shivers, skin drenched a ghastly blue.
Sprinting to her side, you kneel down, rolling the woman over to find her face utterly battered, new black eye beginning to swell, cheek bruised a mawkish purple against hollowed cheekbones. 
Sharks.
To your left Sun-ja hides in the corner, rags for a blanket pulled to her chest, shielded between the wall and a tipped cabinet. 
Over and over they’ve begun visiting, to the point your mother became recognizable by her continuous black eye, her torn clothing and stooped posture. 
Exhausted, she was exhausted. 
Yet, she took the beatings. The torturous punches. Jarring slaps, traumatic insults, tarnishing. Your mother took it so you wouldn’t, so you and Sun-ja could live.
And it’s at that moment you make up your mind, discover this occasion’s alternative. 
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“Cut it off.” 
“Cut.. Cut it off?” Hyunjin gapes, fingers stalling their descent down a strand of your hair. 
You smile, grimacing the longer consideration poises.
No point in thinking too much.
“Yep. Give me the most boy-ish haircut you can.” You emphasize, gesturing toward his scissors expectantly. 
Hyunjin, your personally appointed hairstylist, doesn’t seem too convinced. He’s debating, expertly reading your features.
Currently, you’re holed up in his room, a miniature apartment located near the furthest section of town, close to the coast.
In wee hours of morning you boarded the train here, inhaling salty, ocean-smelling breeze. Back in your old residence you met him, your neighbor Hwang Hyunjin. It’s a miracle you still stayed in contact, bond aging like the finest of wines over countless years. 
Enough to where you trusted him to help you enact this alternative of yours. 
Starting with a haircut.
The man stares at you through the mirror, dark, inky hair matting the longer he runs his hands through it. 
Thoughtfully trying to figure out your reasoning, he evidently catches on the moment you witness his eyes roll, releasing a heaving sigh.
“You cannot be serious.”
A torrential truth keeps you from responding, gaze directed at your feet. 
“Y/n,” He uttered, eyes filling with a concern you avoid meeting, avoid regarding in a whole. “You don’t have to do this, the war is going to end soon and your father will come ba—“
“He’s dead.”
Silence engulfs the room.
Collecting yourself, you scorn his frown.
“He’s dead and gone. Now I need to protect them, provide for them.“ 
You deny the shakiness of your voice.
“So, Hyunjin. Cut off my hair.”
Accordingly, he does without another word. Snip by snip, tress by tress falling below, scattering the tile floor in endless strands.
By the time you see yourself, it’s hard to recognize the person in the reflection. Never had you considered your hair a viable source of identity, but now that it’s so sparse, the effect is eminent. 
Failing to see yourself in your own reflection beckons a different kind of sadness. For the person you’ve introduced yourself as reigns no more. She’s been replaced.
Hyunjin pulls you into his arms, embrace just as comforting as you remembered. His hand reaches to caress your cropped hair, rocking back and forth on his heels, chin resting on your head. 
“Be careful, okay?”
Nodding into his shoulder, you wipe salty streaks from your cheeks. 
Hurts.
“And if you need a place to take shelter, I’ll be here.”
Steadying in his hug again, you pull back, cherishing his kindness with a chaste kiss to the cheek. 
“Thank you, really.”
Shaking his head at your gratitude, urging you out and lingering by the doorway till your figure retreats in the distance.
Next stop, Mrs. Myeong. 
If anyone has any idea how to source the clothing you’re needing, your best chance would be thanks to her. 
An hour later you arrive in familiar avenues, creeping out of sight into the apothecary in hopes the woman you’re looking for is working the counter. 
Much to your pleasure, after a few unsuccessful attempts do you grasp her attention, edging forward under the guise of a regular hoping to converse. 
“I need your help.”
Initially, she carries that sternness, wordlessly lifting your hooded head a bit to notice the latest adjustment. Shock written over her face, Mrs. Myeong drags you along with her, closing the door to a back room.   
“My child, what is going on?” She whispers, tone urgent. You can’t help but feel fond of the affectionate nickname.
“I need male clothing and,” You hesitate, teeth nipping at your bottom lip. “something to bind my chest with.”
Similar to Hyunjin, she steps back, assessing the situation at hand. Spending a brief few seconds roaming your figure, the woman works hastily toward fetching a petticoat, meticulously fitting each article atop your stock-still frame.
“You’re conceited,” she grumbles. “And foolish.” Carefully peeling off your upper-wear, she’s managed to cut a piece of thick cloth to use as a make-shift binder, assembling the fabric over your breast. 
The experience, although strange, wasn’t as painful as anticipated.
“But be careful, and stay in contact.”
Your response is hushed.
“Breathe in,” The older woman instructs, securing her creation with a threaded pin before moving onto other aspects, like a proper coat and pants. 
Mr. Myeong’s trousers, though having to be sewn to fit, make do, and you’re reminded to return tomorrow for shoes. Otherwise, the attire is completed, paired with a curved hat to finish. 
Sure, the entire male concept is foreign, but given time, you’ll gradually acclimate.
Oh, right. 
Your alternative?
Since medicine is what you know, you’ll stick with that. Difference being medicine is a men’s occupation, and so, if you can’t be a female working in the field, why not become male? 
Well, somewhat become male.
It’s a risky wager, easily placing your life on the line in the process. 
For your mother and Sun-ja, however, it’s your turn to take the beating. Your turn to endure.
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Observation is a virtue. It can save and preserve, heed to oncoming danger, and simultaneously (and discreetly) supply useful information.
Today, seated on a bench in Daegu Station, your first observation is the abundance of people scurrying like mice.
Some tall, some short. Distinct moles, eyes. Upturned and downturned lips. Mustaches, beards. Much to see.
Your legs cross and uncross, Mr. Myeong’s oversized heeled shoes beginning to sink at your ankles. Hat strung low enough to peer out without attracting attention, your gaze is magnetically drawn to a magazine held on the adjacent side of the train tracks, title on display.   
Prized Alchemist Lee Minho suspected of being the lone survivor of the Red Plagu—
Ignorant to your surroundings, your senses posed numb to the incoming train, blocking off the last few words of the title from view the moment it soars past—nearly sweeping the fedora off your head. 
By the time the last few train cars passed, the man honing said magazine had disappeared, and you were left wondering if the experience was merely a figment of your imagination.  
Although, you did have one lead. A name.
Lee Minho. 
Where you’d find him remained unknown, deciding to rely on a magazine parlor first and foremost for more intel.  
To no surprise, nearly every magazine rack lay lined with haughty opinions regarding the war and its evident cruelty.
Many onlookers of both Americans, Koreans, and foreigners alike chatter amongst themselves about their own take between gossiping hands and fumes of tobacco.
In this town, located far off in the business district by a ship port, people are everywhere.
Wives of sailors, families of soldiers off at war. Women honing gleaning parasols and ivory gloves reaching to their elbows.
Languages you’ve never heard before utter their enunciated syllables, vocabulary petulant with accent—all shrouded in dismay.   
Roaming the store endlessly to no avail, you prepare to adventure back through dusty streets and battered wooden stall-shops before a peculiar name pauses your footsteps. 
His name, The Alchemist, Lee Minho.
“Bring ‘em home I tell ‘ya,” An aged man by the deepened grooves of his face, hollow cheekbones and bunched wrinkles grumbles.
A fat cigar hangs loosely from thin lips, pale baker boy cap adorning a bald head. 
Some sentences estranged, you identify his sentences as French, heavy in dialect, throaty and broad.
And although your fluency stay patchy, exposure from French immigrants who’ve relocated near home allow minimal understanding as to what they’re talking about.
“Say, did you hear that Lee Minho chap was a Red Plague?” His counterpart offered past his own leering cigar, foot tapping incessantly.
The other hacks his bewilderment, feeble fist pounding on an equally feeble chest.
“The Alchemist?” 
The man’s astonishment returned with a nod, you lean closer, pretending to be consumed in an article. 
“Said he was only nineteen when it happened. Shipped ‘em off only for disease to kill them all. One survived, now people are speculatin’ it’s him.”
Either of them sigh out long drags.
“Well I’ll be damned.” Is all the other huffs in disbelief, and upon recognizing the conversation approaching an end, you stir to action, willing your voice to deepen an octave.
Attempting to appeal in your broken French, you stall the two, cautiously claiming you’re in need of his whereabouts for an esteemed business transaction to which, through confused stares, you’re given loose directions.
Loose, but feasible.
80 Kent Avenue, dark blue doors.
Directions that, according to the sudden blank of streetlights, would have to wait until tomorrow. As for now, the world beckoned you to rest, and any progress would prove futile and rather impossible in the dark.
Luckily, a run-down Inn gifted good few hours of shut-eye before dawn peered through the windowsills and you were begrudgingly forced to your feet. 
Fitting the binder snug across your body and fastening your trench coat through minuscule belt loops, you’re taught with much haste the stark difference of men’s prestige entitlement. 
First access to everything, the ability to have their way with a woman whether she willingly obliges or not, and just about ten billion other things someone of your hidden status couldn’t fathom.
A man’s world is a world only possible through disguise. Yours just happens to be a last resort.
Charming the mistress at the front desk was unexpectedly effortless, not to mention how easily she spilled the details as to where Kent Avenue would be located.
Another noticeable attribute of your new appearance, no one asked as to where you were going nor your intentions, they merely dipped their heads and wished you off.
Adjustments.
Adjustments that, if you’d been born different, would be normal.
Kent Avenue lay twisted in shadows. The surrounding area brims in barely flickering labels and creaking doorways leading to who knows where. Quaint isn’t the word for it. More ancient, all-knowing. 
This place has been here for centuries with many stories to tell, most just haven’t heard them yet.
Significantly dark blue doors make the Alchemist’s residence easily noticeable, starkly contrasting with wooded architecture. Massive doorknobs engraved with lions, windows shielded by moth-eaten curtains. Grand, in its own form.
You swore each door stood eight feet tall, the left in particular left slightly ajar.
Wait, ajar?
Doing a double take to ensure your vision wasn’t playing tricks on you, you inch forward, widening the dark gap exponentially until all you faced was a black abyss—apart from the miniature lamp beaming yellow light in a far corner.
Carefully tiptoeing into said black abyss, the further you explore, the greater the visibility increases. Leather cushioned furniture, clean, polished desks. The desk the lone lamp rests upon is a chestnut wooden, ink feathers residing in the upper corner.
Somehow, the matter grants envy, resentment grating your nerves. This man lives comfortably while other’s are beaten for possessing nothing. Maybe it’s a petty, unnecessary thought; and maybe you’re foolish, but all odds are against you, your disposition seems righteous.
Getting too lost in your head turned out foolish as well.
“What’s this?” A voice behind you whispers, voice ghosting chills tickling your neck at an alarming pace. 
Whipping around, eyes struck wide in shock, the person responsible for the remark comes into view, his stature opposing the tone muttered in your ear seconds ago.     
Not a plump business man like you imagined, not adorning a spectacle, no pipe in sight. Instead, one lone button right below the chest fits snug white sleeves cuffed by his elbows, black vest hugging a slim torso.
Conniving, cat-like eyes analyze your expressions while dark brown hair parts to the side, loose strands covering his right eyebrow. And when he reaches up to brush a few frayed tresses to the side you note sleek gloves covering long, pale fingers. 
If anything, this man is more similar to a Vampire.
“Trespassing, are we?”
Collect yourself. This is your opportunity.
Swiftly brushing off your clothes, you clear your throat.
“I have an offer.”
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“An offer?” A smile belonging to that of a Cheshire cat adorns his lips, one leg propping itself over the other, fingers intertwining in front of him.
Ensuring your voice is clear and concise (while keeping the deeper, male-ish tone), you state your claim, despising how utterly debilitating it feels being caught under his observative stare. 
Like he sees through you.
“I would be a valuable asset to your studies in alchemy. I know about herbs and their uses better than anyone else, and where they’re located.”
Sure, the bargain might’ve sounded arrogant, but you were technically cosplaying as a man when most men of your time couldn’t shut up about themselves, arrogance was the least of your problems. 
Gnawing at his cheek as you spoke, he pauses a moment, then laughs.
Amused. 
Dark lashes dust above equally dark eyes, nearly black as they study you.
“You want to be my apprentice? Is that it?”
You remain close-lipped.
“I’ll tell you one thing, kid. This world is all about money,” He raises a cane from where he reclined, using the end to tip your chin up and meet his eyes. 
“No?” 
To which you simply stare back at him, refusing to avert eye-contact. 
“I’m sure that’s what you’re here for anyways.” Rising from his place, he sighs heartily. “But see, I’m a greedy man, not a good man.” 
Abruptly, his countenance falls flat. 
“And my job isn’t fun, so you’re out of luck.” 
Immediately, you’re frantic, trying your hardest to ignore his obvious statement to leave. The last thing you need is to run out of luck, run out of options.
And so, you hastily wrack your mind for a solution, an excuse, whatever keeps you in this dimly lit room.
“You- You were part of the Red Plague, weren’t you?” Spitting out words from the depths of your racing mind, The Alchemist stops, fixing you with an unreadable look.
Red Plague as in, the group of young men enlisted during the war that all died of a deadly disease but one. One who, many speculate is the man before you.
Breathe in.
“I may not know much about you, but I know what it’s like to want to save somebody.”
Breathe out.
Now it was his turn to stand there, and for a second you swore you saw a flash of sympathy cross his face.
You wet your lips. “I’ll run your errands and wash your clothing, I’ll clean this place spotless. Plus, it’s not like I’m a woman asking for a job, so please, give me a chance.” 
Slowly, The Alchemist raises a brow, laugh disbelieving.
“Since when did being a woman have anything to do with this?” 
Huh?
How.. odd.
If anything, the majority would wholeheartedly agree, likely hiring you on the spot with how impalpable such a jest seemed.
He would’ve laughed, maybe slapped your back. Would’ve wrapped an arm around your shoulders, proclaimed you his friend.
Yet, you almost feel flattered. Flattered in a strange, unrealistic manner. 
Basking in a deplorable quietness, The Alchemist sighs, combing a gloved hand through silken strands. 
“I have a spare room around that corner.” He points, leather gloves narrowly highlighted by orange lighting.  “Make yourself useful, hm?”
And like that, even if it was a long shot, you landed it. More specifically, landed a job. 
How preposterous. 
How exciting. 
Yet, it began hesitantly. As if he was initially testing your usefulness. Sending you on runs to the nearby gardens, having you make sure a concoction didn’t derange itself while he fetched better flasks. Easy things.
However, you didn’t complain. A boring job was better than no job, and as long as a few coins were emptied into your pocket afterward, you’d continue to work without whining.  
Burdock, oregano. Motherwort that would erupt billows of chemically-infused air when added to oils or sugars.  
Then you noticed The Alchemist. His quirks, his  characteristics. 
He shifts between a long trench coat or tight vests, his hair is always styled a certain way, though some days, when he just wakes up, he has this tiny bird nest of hair atop his head, it’s charming. 
He yawns a lot. 
He wears heeled shoes, maybe from his shorter height, maybe preference. 
And rather peculiarly, the longer you stay in his lair, the greater you notice the many scars littering his forearms, collarbones. Miniature cuts and imprints left on porcelain skin. 
Those observations, conjoined with his reactions, make for a truly interesting character. 
Reactions being his dislike toward loud noises, the matter in which his shoulders scrunch at a loud clap outside, eyes blown wide, fearful. 
The longer you stay in his lair, the more you notice him, nonetheless his fears. Whether suspicion clarifies anything in specific, there’s no denying he’s a man of war. 
Lee Minho has secrets, and as badly as your nosiness itches to uncover them, you, as you had promised earlier, will keep your lips sealed. 
And it makes you wonder, what’s life like on your side of the street? What throng of unfairness left you awash, left you both suffering? 
You wonder about your oppositions and similarities in different points of each other’s lives. Minutes, decades before you ever met.
Certain stones shall stay unturned, but you hope, maybe one day, those questions will be answered.  
Interestingly enough, he never asked about your name; not even when you gingerly introduced yourself as your last name, a rather awkward fit.
Likewise, you don’t complain. There’s only two of you in the house after all.
A week in, you’re finally introduced to something new. 
The Alchemist plans to have you tag along with him to Port Nova, a docking station located on the outskirts of Busan.
Business thrives in ship ports, the sole source of connectivity for a growing country like Korea. Each day, millions of shipments come in from countries you can’t name, so you’re not surprised in the slightest he’s headed there for a transaction. 
You are surprised he decided to have you tag along.
Even more so that, as you hop off the transit, hurriedly tailing his left, he veers off a sharp turn, approaching a worn Burlesque Club, glittering sign halfway dangling from its perch on a scarlet red awning. 
English letters spell out Nova Burlesque, a few missing letters left astray to the side, electrical bulbs spasming with sporadic lighting on the dusty ground below.
In the daylight, the place appears ordinary, blending in with its crumbling, desolate surroundings. 
Although, you have no doubt this place utterly delights in the eve, pink-neon inviting enough to lure unaware foreigners upon first arrival. 
“Mr. Lee,” You utter, returned with a short scoff from the man who insisted you refer to him by his name, Minho. 
“Where are we going?”
It’s hesitant, unsure of whether to intervene, but Minho only smirks, whispering a not-very-assuring “You’ll see” you begrudgingly go along with. 
Inside is the last of what you anticipated. 
Oh dear.
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You’ve only been to minimal Burlesque Clubs, but the ornery perspective of faux jewelry, a glittery, hallucinatory stage, and the constant rendition of Why Don’t You Do Right whirling on scratchy records isn’t present here. 
Alternatively, there’s stools scattered around a marginally illuminated clearing, some upturned, others occupied by burly men with equally burly beards. 
And in the middle, a boxing ring is situated. The stench of sweat and blood soaks the air in a metallic, pungent aroma.
A brisk realization crosses your mind, a conclusion of a sort.
Play a fool’s game, earn a fool’s reward.
Only you, Hyunjin, and Ms. Myeong know the lengths you’re willing to go to secure your family's well-being, and now, at odds you can’t compromise, you have to do everything in your power to maintain your act.
This is a test.
Sifting behind you, he murmurs a hushed: “Cover your ears.” That you begrudgingly oblige to, cupping either hand over your ears as Minho clutches his leather holster, concealed within the confines of a frequently worn coat.
In a split second, a gunshot is fired to the ceiling, the bullet's shell casing dropping atop the welt of his pointed shoe.
Stunned silence ensues.
Arm still extending the revolver in the air, you haphazardly remove your hands, dragging the hat further over your face as more eyes focus on the both of you. 
“I’m looking for Reiner and Manfred.”
The longer the tension rises, the further you grow self conscious.
“Already?” A man bellows from inside the ring, breaking the awestruck spell whilst gripping his opponent by the collar, fist poised and ready to strike. 
Unusually, they seem to know each other.
Minho merely exhales a loud sigh through his nose, practically two times smaller than his apparent acquaintance. 
Said acquaintances grumbles. 
“Leave it to our champion to interrupt the show.” 
And with that, he hooks the contender in the jaw, sending him pummeling down to the tarnished mat where hoards either cheer or groan, hustling money left and right over the victor.
Champion of the show? You’re adding that to your collection of never ending questions that’ll likely stay unanswered.
From the crowd arises two men. The victor from the ring and another from the crowd, dressed lavishly opposed to his white tank top-wearing counterpart. 
Reiner and Manfred, you assume. 
Serving as a mere shadow in The Alchemist’s wake, the four of you hustle outside, met with a nonplussed Minho and two, mildly confused (and enormously tall) men. 
Foreigners, certainly.
“..Care to introduce the pipsqueak?” Reiner presumably more talkative, piques, beady eyes scouring your figure enough to where you scorn the beads of sweat collecting upon your temple. 
Pipsqueak my foot. 
You stave down the retort, inhabiting Minho’s shadow as the three discuss matters of a hospital transaction. Almost like you weren’t there at all, as it’s always been.
If it weren’t for the technicalities, you would’ve interjected, made your presence known. Except, other than herbal instances, you’re a novice in the business department. You’ll leave that up to your current mentor to arrange.
Again, lips sealed.
Minho, ignorant to the previous victor’s question, continues to sign legal documents supplied by the calmer individual, Manfred. You internally thank the gesture.
Well, before Reiner’s sordid gaze becomes too stifling to brush off.
“I’m Mr. Lee’s apprentice, L/N. Nice to meet you,” You initiate, fearlessly reaching out a hand he heartily shakes, features graced with amusement, massive hand practically engulfing yours. 
Pardoning a gruff “Likewise”, he nearly sends you flying from the timbre of his voice alone.
“Say,” Reiner mutters, finally completing the last of the package transfers. “Don’t you think this one seems a bit feminine?”
Your jaw ticks, nervousness shrouding your being like an unrelenting fog. Minho’s fingers close around your elbow, pulling you closer, brows knit.
“Perhaps you need your eyes checked, Reiner,” He offers, tone nonchalant opposed to the vice-like grip latched to your arm.
Heftily chortling, the man only pats your back, causing your entire body to surge forward upon impact.
“Well regardless, it’s a cute little thing ain’t it?”
Manfred simply grunts his acknowledgment while you bite your tongue, coveting your retaliation when he referred to you as “it”.
No use growing angered. The feeling is futile.
Luckily, your irritable arrangement comes to a hasty close, more than gleeful to have an understandably annoyed Minho steer you from Port Nova onto a short train back to Kent Avenue, to your newly established home.
A home, but not really a home. Semi-permanent, unofficial.
Either way, you wouldn’t complain. Despite the constant efforts in diminishing your past identity, you didn’t feel as conscious when around Minho. 
Safer.
As if, in an alternative reality, you could tell him. Your truths, your burdens.
No. You won’t jeopardize this opportunity. You can’t.
At least, not yet.
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“I’ll be back Mr. Lee!” You shout, wielding a briefcase bag to your person, nudging the ghoulish door open using your hip.
As usual, you’re headed off on a restocking trip.
Except on this occasion, the restocking consists of hunting down a peculiar herb: Chinese Chrysanthemum. It’s an appealing plant with fluorescent leaves and a constant need for sunlight. 
It’s no surprise he’s sent you to fetch such goods. After two months, you soared in and out of the residence routinely, scouring Korea while Minho hunched over a wildly diverse array of vials and flasks, glasses propped on his slightly hooked nose, hands firmly resting on a wooden exam table.
Studious. He is very studious. 
However, a catch diverts itself from eye view. A catch you hadn’t considered until your two feet stepped from squealing train tracks.
Somehow, although unusually intentional, you wound up in a rather peculiar area. An area you never imagined paying a visit to in your wildest dreams.
In the midst of economic outrage and warring circumstances, you’re standing in one of Korea’s most unstable, informal districts. A place that, according to your overhearing ear, was where your precious Chrysanthemum lodged.
This district had an infamous name. 
The Den.
A fitting name in actuality, where a person didn’t realize they were stuck till it was too late, unable to see where they’re going, living in belief there’s an incentive to the finish line in a race run in circles. 
Also, a place the Sharks who torment your family report to.
You can hear your heart thrumming in your ears, nearly ricocheting out of your chest with its horrid cacophony. 
Calm down. 
Calm down. Think of the goal. 
All you have to do is find a flower. 
Grounding yourself, you pinpoint some viable resources. 
Fertile soil, maybe even sandy, likely in the inner portion of The Den.
Plus, you’re dressed as a man, you might as well act outrageously boisterous.
But you’re not, you’re afraid. Perhaps not external, but inside, your lungs feel as if they’re being violently crushed, sinking deeper in an unsteady submersible to the very bottom of the ocean. And for a second, you truly contemplate going back, telling Minho you’re incapable of the task.
Yet, what would you say? You’re haunted by a vision that hasn’t happened? Fearful for a future event with no guarantee? If you had ever done something so horrid, they would’ve found you ages ago.
This time, you’re in their domain, invading what’s theirs as they’ve done to you. 
Greater. You aren’t who you used to be, in more ways than one.
Genuinely, what is there to lose?
That’s it. You’ll complete the mission and return. No run-ins, no fear barricading your job.
In and out.
Initially, you scout out your surroundings, regarding the faint sound of voices funneling in the distance, the smell of mixtures you hate being able to identify, far off machinery croaking before smoke spurs from rusted screws and bolts.
Amongst the chatter of street vendors and the many, notorious gang members patrolling in and out of abandoned shops, you roam avidly, keeping as low a profile as possible.
Number one priority is to not be noticed. Drawing attention to yourself is a one way ticket to failure, and the last thing you need is to arrive back to Minho empty-handed.
However, through the blinding clouds of smoke billowing from exhaust pipes, a specific building, shrouded in the shadows of charcoal residue, douses your peripheral.
A Greenhouse. 
Bingo.
Quickly looking around, you shrink low to the ground, racing forward to carefully creak open glass double doors and slip inside. 
It feels as if you’re enclosed in a furnace. Mere seconds in and sweat already begins gathering upon your temples.
Though that becomes the least of your concerns after assessing what lies inside. 
Hundreds, maybe even thousands of flowers and herbs. Rare species, some critically endangered, just sitting here.
It’s strange. 
Why would, in the case such an abundance existed, not be used? Why hadn’t this Greenhouse been raptured from the inside out for such valuable items? 
It’s not until a commotion stirs ahead of you that you understand the answer to the question. 
With about five plucked Chinese Chrysanthemums expertly sealed into their coordinating bags, a piercing hiss followed by multiple shouts and hollers cause you to shrink back, gazing around haphazardly.
A hiss?
From your perspective nearly kissing the dirt, your vision allows a minuscule glimpse of multiple backs turned, boisterously amused men gathering around something in the front of the Greenhouse.
You feel the need to know more.
Inching forward tip-toe by tip-toe, amidst the roaring crowd, you spare a look between the sea of legs to find an utterly deplorable sight.
A cat. 
No, not just a cat, cat fighting. They’re watching cats maul each other for the fun of it. As if they aren’t living creatures, but toys for their entertainment. 
And perhaps it’s a foolish decision, perhaps laughable being worried, being angered, but you are and you refuse to leave knowing you could’ve done something to help them.
Hastily scouring the floors, a can of Spam discarded below Foxglove stems proves useful enough, tossing it as far as possible where it whacks against the glass wall, immediately averting their attention. 
This is your chance. 
As dark clouds and incoming rain thunder outside, you don’t waste the opportunity, sprinting forward while the men make toward the direction of the sound and hoisting the first cat you see into your arms. 
Sprinting past narrow pathways and dimly lit streets, you force your eardrums numb to the threats they call after you, mind trained on one thing besides getting as far as possible from here.
To Minho to Minho to Minho.
A hand grabbing your shoulder causes you to shriek, swiftly dragged off where you swear your last breaths will be taken, the feline in your arms scrambling with panic.
“What are you doing?” Your captor furiously whispers, hidden in the low lighting of an apparent alleyway.
Wait. You recognize that voice. 
“Hyunjin?”
How does he recognize you?
Just then does a breeze swipe past your head, sending chills trickling down your rain-soaked neck. 
Your hat is gone. Must’ve fell off while you were running. 
“Wh.. what are you doing?” Slipping from his grasp after the men’s hushed conversation becomes inaudible, you regard the man with an incredulous stare.
“Answer my question first,” He reprimands, and as the cat resounds a pained meow do you assess the dire nature of the situation.
You need to get this cat to Minho, and fast. 
“Can’t- Can’t talk right now I’ve got to go—“
“Wait!”
Though, as your footsteps breach the security of the alley, the placating cry of crows mock your left, hurried footsteps belonging to those occupying the Greenhouse heading toward you in rampant haste.
Hyunjin’s hand holding your wrist, you grace a tight-lipped smile his way. 
 “Let’s not see each other like this again, okay?”
He returns a miniature grin, teeming with mischief.
“Agreed.”
Upon letting go, you race off, attempting to speedily navigate back to the train station whilst torrents of streaming droplets cascade down your face. 
“Good luck!” 
“Thanks, I’ll need it!” You respond back, voice permeated against the rain, eyes frantically searching for a place to evade. 
Finally, a crowd appears, swarming amongst diners and flickering street lights.
Your perfect hideaway. 
Swimming through the hive of people, you catapult yourself into the nearest phone booth in sight, fumbling through deep pockets before cashing a coin into the metal slot and jarring your index over slippery metal numbers.
Praying the combination is correct as you hold the wired telephone to your ear, you’re consumed with utmost relief upon hearing The Alchemist’s voice answer on the other side of the crackling line.
Amidst roaring rainfall drowning the booth, you differentiate shouting a ways off, likely belonging to the men from earlier. 
“Mr- Mr. Lee?”
“Yes? Where are you?”
“Are you.. Are you allergic to cats?”
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Never in your life did you think you would be so overjoyed seeing blue doors. 
Clambering inside—the rather upset cat in your arms hissing their dismay—you’re overwhelmed with an unexplainable happiness seeing Minho’s face peer from the guest room. 
Relief.
“L/N wha..” 
Words dying in his throat as he gives you a speechless once over, your urge to hug him dissipates instantly, beckoning a new set of garments upon realizing how utterly drenched your precious disguise is.
Simultaneously shoving the cat his way before rushing to your room, you thankfully strip of your fretfully cold attire, welcomed in the comforting embrace of clean clothing.
A mere five minutes later you exit, greeted by Minho’s stockstill frame. Hand half-raised, evidently about to knock.
You forcefully clear your throat, praying the momentary awkward tension is alleviated.
Luckily, The Alchemist takes it upon himself to break the spell, eyes dancing across the floorboards in order to avoid your own.
“Well, she’s stable. Her vitals are fine, nothing too critical apart from a few cuts here and there. Just shaken up.”
Your stare of astonishment earns a confused tip of his head.
“That fast?”
Said (apparently female) cat rubbing her body along your calf with an obviously delighted purr, you appear nearly concussed, crouching down to pat the soft, striped fur lining her back.
Minho snorts.
“What can I say, I get work done.”
Maybe he is a vampire after all.
Mirroring your crouch, he watches your interaction, similarly feline-like inspection unnoticed till glancing up.
And for a swift moment, you swear he saw through you. Lips parted, eyes scrutinizing. Piecing together the building blocks to a wavering structure you’d strived so hard to build, to protect.
No. You’re overthinking. He couldn’t possibly know.
You failed to notice the forlorn look on his face, one that ushers to ask if you’re okay, fetch a hot beverage to warm your evidently cold hands.
“Might I ask how you ended up bringing this one home?”
Leave it to him to take the title as your greatest ally and worst enemy at the same time.
Ah. Right.
“Y’know I was about to get to that-” 
You pause, deriding the high pitch of your voice into something more appropriate. He cocks a brow.
“As I was saying, it wasn’t my intention to bring her back, but the place she was trapped at, the place with the men- the plants..”
According to his expression, you’ve grown two heads.
“Go on.”
“Look, the place I found the Chrysanthemum was having cat fights. Do you remember hearing about the dog fights in Gangwon? It’s the same thing. We can’t just sit still while they’re torturing innocent animals.”
“I don’t know what you got yourself into, but I’m an Alchemist, not a hero,” He sighs, and your hand stalls its petting, face falling while the cat in your lap flicks her tail back and forth expectantly.
He has a point. You got yourself into this, you went into the Greenhouse. It’s not his duty to clean up after your messes, but perhaps you can convince him, even by a small margin.
Play a fools game, earn a fools reward.
You’ll mop the floor of your own mess.
“Minho, please. Just this once and I won’t rope you into anything ever again, okay?” 
Stifling silence making an additional appearance, you nervously await the verdict, perched rather hilariously outside of your bedroom door.
Chewing the skin of his cheek, he scolds himself for falling so susceptible to you, though you won’t ever know that.
“Fine, but you’d better have a plan.”
Ah. Great.
You don’t.
At dawn’s arrival you’re swept upward, fixing a hasty bout of tea and toast prior to dressing in the privacy of your appreciated quarters. 
You don a much-needed hat, hopping aboard the first train of the day with a well-dressed Minho in tow.
Retracing your steps turns out easier than you anticipated, The Alchemist tailing you as you had done him at Port Nova.
Though, just when the task seemed a cake walk, you manage a meager detour, regarding your unimpressed mentor.
“From what I can remember, it’s around here somewhere. But I might be wrong, I stumbled upon it by accident and it looks a bit scary but I think—“
“Stop! Stop- Stop talking. Please.”
You quickly shut your mouth, allowing the man to lead instead till the sight of familiar landmarks becomes a gradual reassurance of your location.
Perhaps now it’s safe to talk.
“Mr. Lee, what did Reiner mean by calling you a champion-“
Shoved against the brick wall, your sentence dies instantly, panickedly glancing in all directions assessing the all too familiar pistol Minho‘s drawn, conspicuous in close proximity. 
“Wouldn’t you like to know,” He enunciates, tone unusually gruff whilst scanning your surroundings.
Your face warms an involuntary pink you clamber to ward off, drawn to the sight of his tense jaw and the feather-like arrangement of long lashes, focused on something elsewhere.
Your retort dies not only from his beauty, but upon the familiar Greenhouse coming into view.
“Looks like we found where your little friends are playing.”
Though, as the man begins forward, you grab him by the sleeve.
“Wait! We can’t just waltz in.”
His hand, slipping from the warmth of his pocket, cups your chin, unbearably close to your face to the point you can feel his breath on your nose. 
Curse the butterflies.
“Well there’s no need for an introduction, so let’s listen this time, shall we?”
Left at a loss for words either from your slack mouth or the concerning amount of sweat building upon your palms, you don’t argue back, lingering right outside the door, craning to hear voices. 
By the sound of it, at least four people are inside at the moment, and the longer you stay out here, the more ample time becomes for additional threats to show up. 
As if reading your mind, he slips through the rugged door, gesturing for you to follow while silently navigating through dense, humid underbrush and overgrown foliage.
However, your quiet voyage is quelled when a twig, unbeknownst to the two of you, cracks under the pressure of his foot. 
“Shit,” He mutters, cringing back at the immediate quietness that ensued.
The Alchemist curses as well.
Interesting.
Amidst the men bearing closer, Minho turns to you, tone urgent. 
“When I get up, you run and free the cats. Don’t look back, just go.”
Nodding hastily, you reacquaint yourself with the area, ensuring a dead set beeline to where the cats were held without interruptions. 
Minho, a split second before you can ask a question, whips the gun from his coat pocket, the sound of bullets whipping through the air enough indication it’s time you go.
Finnicking hands make it hard to unscrew the wired cages, surges of adrenaline helping speed up the rescue as you double check every feline has escaped.
Heeding to instruction, you don’t look for The Alchemist, solely driven to freeing the cats and fleeing the scene. No more problems. 
Almost an exact replica to your last visit here, a hand drags you off right as you exit the Greenhouse doors, back pressed against his (whom you realized was Minho, not Hyunjin, thanks to the leather gloves) front. 
And perhaps from running, perhaps from something else, you can feel his heartbeat, oscillating in a nonstop orchestra that sends your own heart pounding from the confines of your rib cage. 
Stifling a shaky inhale you’d held in as the last of the perpetrators scattered elsewhere, you instantly step back, denying every urge to coddle him like a child, fretfully check him for injury. 
A certain fondness lay reserved for Lee Minho, a fondness you can’t discern of at the moment. 
“C’mon, quick, Soonie might get scared if we’re gone for too long,” He ushers, crashing your tunneling train of thought right off its rails in the process. 
“Yeah-“
You stop.
“Soonie?”
“Yeah, Soonie.”
“You named her?”
“..Yes.”
It’s a genuine struggle hiding your laugh.
“I didn’t find you the type to take in cats.”
“Today you’ve been proven wrong, apparently.”
A sort of giddiness you never experienced fills your chest, wishing nothing more than to look back at the man and swoon. 
How could you not? He was very much dexterous, and attractive without a doubt, that much was known to anyone who laid eyes on The Alchemist.  
Your trek home proved relatively easy, able to skillfully get to the station away from prying eyes and trod along a mixture of gravel and dusty roads without issue.
Silently celebrating your success, you nudge your counterpart's hip, the unimpressed side-eye he grants doing little to dull your happiness.
“Aren’t you an Alchemist? How come you’re oddly good with a gun?”
He clicks his tongue.
“Aren’t you my apprentice? How come you’re getting yourself into trouble when your only instruction was to fetch herbs?”
You conceal a smile he obviously catches, glare failing to quiet your bubbling laughter, his own lips tugging upward.
“It was necessary Mr. Lee! And you know you love Soonie.”
“Unfortunately.”
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Nearly a month into her residence, and Soonie has become an effervescent force to be reckoned with. Although initially sassy and wary, she’s transformed into the most affectionate cat you’d ever met.
You have to give it to her, she’s grown on the both of you, a lot.
Plus, you might just have to thank her for unleashing Minho’s tender side, whether that’s the two of them cuddling on the couch while he naps or him picking her up and treating her like a baby while you watch from afar. 
Over the course of the five months you’ve been here, you’ve sent countless checks back home—enough to where dues could finally be paid and the hope for a good life came into view.
Everything seems right, seems ideal. 
But of course, on an equally ideal Thursday evening, a thousand pounds of bricks drops right on top of your head. 
“How long were you planning to keep it from me?” 
He, Lee Minho, The Alchemist, voices.
Simultaneously, your stomach plummets to your feet, peeking over your shoulder to find his back facing you, hunched over a straus flask. 
Then the bomb drops.
“You being a woman, that is.” 
Abruptly pausing, you don’t reply, worried you’d say the wrong thing, unintentionally summon the catalyst to this arising catastrophe. 
Yet, you can’t stay quiet for too long. And a fear lingered inside, a fear that if he looked at you, you would break.
“Forever.” 
Doing just what you dreaded, he turns to you, wearing a horribly serious expression. 
You avoid eye-contact. 
“Because you thought I would fire you?”
A nod. 
“And that’s why you said that, when you first came to me? That you weren’t a woman asking for a job?” 
Another nod. 
He sighs, pulling glasses from atop a hooked nose. You remain staring at the floor.
“I don’t decide who to hire based on what they are. If you can do your job and do it well, you’re worthy enough to work.”
Minho spoke softly, the dim, orange lighting of his lamplight doing little to shake how overwhelming the occasion is, how it feels as if your disguise is wearing, thinning to an impossible degree. 
Except, your world isn’t ending like you thought it would if someone found out, so why do you feel so heartbroken? So overstimulated with realization?
“How did you..” you trail off, raging tears longing to spill. 
No, you can’t afford to cry now. You’ve held out so far, it will stay that way. 
Should stay that way.
Minho dips his head lower in order to fully see you in all your lip-chewing, anxiety-ridden glory. The ghost of a smile rests upon his lips. 
“It was impossible not to tell. You’re unusually tiny, those shoes are massive, and, um, I do the laundry.” 
Watching his once bemused expression dissipate, you mark this as the first time you’ve ever seen him genuinely flustered—and, upon realizing he’d likely seen more than necessary as well, you’re also diminished to a bright red. 
The room wilts in stillness before he exhales, stepping a bit closer to where you linger by the bookshelf, your heels tapping against the frame. 
Tone minimizing itself terribly gentle, The Alchemist carefully collects your cheeks in his hands, urging you to see him, see those terribly thoughtful brown eyes granting a terribly kind disposition. 
“It’s been scary, hasn’t it?” 
Well, you had held out thus far.
Cracking into pieces, you melt like droplets of honey in his fingertips. He perfectly catches them in the jar. 
Out of anyone in this world, you can’t help but be grateful he was the one who found out, found you.
Chest bubbling with breaking sobs, Minho’s thumbs caress your under eyes, swiping away the many salty droplets in their continuous descent. 
Own hands shakily reaching up to hold his resting on your face, you stand there, soaking in his wooded, earthy scent and the soft hums he occasionally emits as if a reminder he’s still there, listening to your cries without intent to leave.
“Mr.. Mr. Lee… It was so scary, I’m so tired Mr. Lee,” You hiccup, mentally berating the endlessly freefalling tears, how your once staved emotions reduced your strong, dutiful voice into nothing but a stuttering mess.
Carefully swiping drool from your chin, he leans forward, planting a kiss on your forehead.
“I don’t know why you did it, but I promise it’ll be okay, we’ll be okay.”
Then another kiss to your forehead, staying there until your sniffling and breathing calms.
Gathering yourself if only slightly, you wrap your arms around his waist, pulling him into a warm hug he gradually accepts after a beat of shock. 
“Thank you, Minho.” 
And just when he thought the shock faded, he’s struck again from the sound of his name leaving your mouth.
Minho. 
Mr. Lee had been charming, but Minho, it was different. A good kind of different. 
He particularly favored the way it sounded falling off your lips, two syllables he’d replay over and over, savoring each a little bit more than the last.
More so, he wished to substitute his nagging thoughts with you, have you narrate the phrases bouncing inside his skull.
Perhaps then everything wouldn’t be so loud, if he had your voice to nullify the battlefield.
Unfortunately forced to separate, Minho adjusts his tie, clearing his throat in a manner you can’t help but feel nervous about. 
You like this flustered Minho.
“I’ll.. I’ll run you a bath.” 
You wince at the rawness of your skin when your face wrinkles in a chuckle.
“Do I smell?” 
Minho, frantically scrambling for an excuse, rubs his temples, exasperation evident in the grooves of his face, the curve and dip of prominent cheekbones portraying a mature visage.
“No I-“ He grumbles. “It helps calm you down.” 
Merely able to halfway staunch your irrevocable glee, you call his name as he begins stepping out, ears an adorable pink.
“Y/N. My name is Y/N. L/N is my last name.”
Not allowing you view of his front-side, you listen to his whispering with delight, testing the newly discovered title on his tongue as if to memorize it.
Ah, you’re falling in love.
Or maybe you’ve already fallen.
Hastily closing the door behind himself and letting you get situated in the bath, it’s not long into your relaxing that you notice a shadow seeping through the door’s crack, a figure standing there, debating.
“Minho?” You announce amusedly, watching the shadow jump and causing you to bite your frothing laugh whilst choosing what to say next. 
“Would you like to join me?”
The Alchemist audibly chokes on his saliva outside the door. 
Sparing a few seconds for him to collect his oxygen, you hadn’t been prepared for when he replies a quiet: “Another time”.
Your eyebrows shoot up with surprise. 
Daring. 
Then his shadow, after furious shuffling, disappears, serving as a reminder of your extended time spent bathing. 
Assembling the copper drain and pulling foreign nightwear over dampened skin, opposed to your usual rush to your room, you allow the chilling air to grant its harsh greeting, leaving the steamy room in its wake.
No more secrets. What a breath of fresh air.
Minho, still cooped up at his desk like routine, barely moves when you place your hands on his shoulders, adorning those charismatic glasses, lips pursed thoughtfully.
“You should go get some rest Mr– Minho,” You beckon, response a sleepy blink of his eyes, obviously exhausted.
“...I really wanted to kiss you.”
The remark drifting off as a murmur, you crane to hear him, wondering if your mind was playing tricks on you. 
“Hm?” Humming, you lightly push his back toward his quarters, the man begrudgingly following your inaudible orders. 
At least he’s cooperating.
Abruptly, he turns around, evading your hands that ease his back forward, sporting a pout adorable enough you might just lose your mind.
How unfair that someone could behave like this and expect you to not go insane.
“When you started crying.” His eyes flicker to your lips, if only for a moment. “I really wanted to kiss you.”
A portion of your stock-still frame wants to blame his tiredness, but another so badly wants it to be true, wants those words to be irrevocably real.
Fighting the urge to scream with how stupidly childish he’s making you feel, you reject every ounce of sensibility, looping one arm around his neck, using your other hand’s index to tug him closer by the belt loop. 
Trust, the feeling is mutual.
Why waste the opportunity?
“What’s stopping you?” 
The utterance barely graces air, and in milliseconds he’s crashing into your lips, a wordless confession it is real, not a mere figment of your imagination.
Stumbling to loosen his tie whilst keeping your faces impossibly connected, you fall deeper and deeper into the manner he tilts his head, expertly diminishing you into puddy in his touch. 
Back and forth, memorizing your taste on his tongue. 
Clumsy footsteps lead to his sofa, your fingers tangled in his dark strands, his kneading your waist.  
And it’s not until your lungs cry for oxygen that you pull apart, Minho’s bottom lip tugged and bitten, yours swollen with his feverish kisses. 
Both of you avidly messy, you can’t bring yourself to care, too busy enjoying the afterglow, his dazed smile.
“Whoever you want to save,” He starts, carefully smoothing over your skin with his thumb . “I will save them, deal?”
Returning that same lazy smile he directs at you, the both of you lean back on the couch, a twine of legs and limbs flailing in every direction.
Close, closer. 
A part of you aches at the thought, blinking up at such a stunning tragedy. Aches knowing you can’t return the favor, can’t say the same, promise him that same promise. 
Because according to the Red Plague, he’s lost that person, those people. So you remain silent, merely hoping one day they’ll receive proper eternal rest. 
That's something you might be able to promise.
Tipping your chin up to where it sits right above his heart, those brilliant eyes of yours blinking up at him do little for his well-being. 
Has anyone told you you’re beautiful? Because he thinks you are, he knows you are. 
Just this once and I won’t rope you into anything ever again, okay?
Minho grins deeper, brows creasing, expression doused in unadulterated adoration. 
“And yet, you rope me into something else,” He whispers to himself. 
“What was that?”  
“Nothing, let’s run another bath. I’ll join you this time, hm?”
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FIC TAGLIST. @linocz @foxinnie8 @wonniesverse
sunboki, may 2022 ©
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New Crusaders: Rise of the Heroes: Halloween Comic Fest 2012: Cover
Cover Credits
Pencils/Inks: Mike Norton
Colors: Matt Herms
Editorial Team
Editor/Line Editor: Paul Kaminski
Assistant Editor: Vincent Lovallo
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