And so it seems I must always write you letters that I can never send.
Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath
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I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in my life. And I am horribly limited.
— Sylvia Plath
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Please don't always expect me to be good and and kind and loving. there are times when I will be cold and thoughtless and hard to understand.
Sylvia Plath
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“I am too pure for you or anyone.”
― Sylvia Plath, from “The Collected Poems” (1981)
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The Fig Tree Analogy *.✧
I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story.
From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out.
I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.
From, "The Bell Jar" by Sylvia Plath, 1963.
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No, please, God, not another day beginning.
-The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath, c. July 1950
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I feel occasionally my skull will crack, fatigue is continuous - I only go from less exhausted to more exhausted & back again.
Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath
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I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my eyes and all is born again.
- Sylvia Plath
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