#the sandman lb

[vampiremotif]

for the love of god what camera does the sandman use. the lens distortion is driving me crazy

[politedemon]

is the implication here that orpheus is morpheus' son. that morpheus named his son orpheus.

[superbattrash]

Hi, I watched the first episode of sandy aka The Sandman and here are my many, many thoughts

Sandy ep 1

Oh okay much more magical intro that I was expecting. He’s got a really nice narrator voice, I approve

“Father likes to be called magus” ok so father is insane, gotcha

OH MY GOD IS THAT THE FATHER? Can’t remember the actor’s name but I feel like he’s good as far as old white men actors go. Wait he’s in game of thrones isn’t he? This will annoy me

Off Jutland? Wait I live in Jutland!!! If it’s yaknow. The Danish Jutland.

Jesus Christ okay so he’s insane and an asshole, good to know. “Randall was my greatest joy” THE KID IS RIGHT THERE

Oh no, are you serious? You can’t make death do anything. Have you not seen Puss in Boots 2? That never ends well

THAT GOTTA BE THE TEEF GUY HELLO TEEF MAN oh you’re not good :( “my lord”, damn that’s hot

[Dream groaning] and it just sounds like a dying bee

Even Father is surprised this is working. Oh no, this won’t do any good, you’ll fuck someone up, I just know it. Oh is, he slammed into the floor hard, didn’t he? Poor sandy, he’s not even conscious

Is he gonna sacrifice his son??? Oh no, he’s just using him to do the dangerous stuff just in case, okay, that seems fair 🙄

YOU CANT JUST TAKE THAT, YOU LUNATIC!!!!! Thief!!!!! Oh my god he’s naked….. DON’T TOUCH HIM?????? What the FUCK

I TOLD YOU SO, YOU RUINED THE SLEEP, YOU PSYCHO!!!! TEEF MAN, EAT HIM!!!!! Oh no of course not, why would it be that easy

Oh they’re all D’s, that’s pretty cool

This honestly looks like some kind of renaissance painting, all naked and in glass, poor sandy :(

You’re doing this because you want your dead son back from the dead? Grieving would be better for everybody, you idiot. Humans are the most selfish things ever, dear god

He won’t give you shit, old man, fuck off

Alex is not like other boys, Alex reads gasp gasp. And he attracts older pretty ladies, that’s nice. Too nice. She’s too good to be true, isn’t she? Hmmmm

Oh no, don’t leave the kid alone with him. Or wait maybe do?? I’m not sure who do root for yet except the naked man in the glass bubble because he has a nice voice. You’re presenting yourself??? Oh no, poor boy

Angry little sandy doing the >:c face

OH SHIT DADDY CAUGHT YOU!!!! Was he about to beat his own son with a cane? He’s paranoid and insane oh my god if YOU can’t shoot the bird, how’s Alex supposed to??

Ethel, aw. That’s a nice name

Do you sense your birb is here, sandy? BE CAREFUL, BIRDIE!!!! Oh daddy’s a Hunter huh? No wonder I don’t like him

Are you seriously gonna burn the house down? Impressive, actually. Oh birdie, you found him 🥺 look at that face, he’s almost smiling

The bird’s gonna die, isn’t it? OH MY G O D, I TOLD YOU SO THAT IS HORRIBLE HOW FUCKING COULD YOU?!?!?! 😭😭😭 THAT WAS HIS FRIEND!!! You better fucking bury it right, you little shit.

Oh god, not sleeping at all?? You can die from that, can’t you???

…are they gay? They could totally be gay. It sounded like flirting

Oh noooo, Ethel, why are you crying? :( a baby? Oh dear. Papa doesn’t like that, does he? Of course he doesn’t. Shithead. PLEASE RUN AWAY ETHEL oh or grab a taxi, that’s great too. AND you robbed him??? I’m kinda impressed by you, E

He CANT FUCKING RAISE THE DEAD YOU ABSOLUTELY MORON, he can’t just give you whatever your tiny mind wants

Oh THANK GOD, someone finally stood up to him. Oh no, did you kill your own dad? That’s gonna give you ALL the issues, you idiot

Look at him. He’s waiting for you to free him, you’re ALLOWED NOW, you’re the master of the- oh wow he really is naked, huh??? 😳

His father would beat him senseless, what does it matter what he would say? Jesus these people are all so moronic

Oh it’s the gay boy again!!!

WHAT THE SHIT HES ACTUALLY GAY???? Oh my god I feel so weird, this never happens

Is Ethel important or is baby Johnny? Or both? I feel like they’re both involved a lot, even without the stealing

Gay boy wanting him to let sandy out, please please please. Oh his name is Paul, hi Paul. I like Paul, Paul seems good

You didn’t, did you? Oh could not, right, of course. Oh man, how many years went by? THEY GOT MARRIED? Awwwww. Like, a tentative aww but still, I never get to see happy gay endings

Paul, don’t say anything. Paul, don’t do it. Paul. Good good good, good boy, man, good Paul

Lord, that is an intense stare, little sandy

Nicely placed hand there, kiddo, wouldn’t want us to see your actual everything, huh? You are. So very thin, my boy

Oh god no is he gonna kill Alex? At least don’t kill Paul, he helped!!! Oh it’s a dream, sorry, my bad

FUCK ME HE LOOKS SCARY

Of course he doesn’t understand, nobody told him, sandy, you’re punishing Paul too :/ although, okay, I get it, it makes sense

Oh ew, teef man, you really. Those are some. There are teef on you, man

Aww look at him, that’s actually a smile, isn’t it? Poor little sandy, finally home with his sand <333 Oh god he can’t get in, can he? Not without his things??? Please omg no

Oh thank god, at least the doors open for him. Everything looks so awful :( oh he’s so sad, his home is all broken

Aw there’s some sad backstory there, huh? Which of the Endless jumped ship before? Death, Desire, one of the other Ds?

Okay okay okay, that was good, lots to absorb. Still waiting for the plot plot I think, is he gonna go around chasing the dreams and nightmares? That sounds fun

I won’t grade it because it’s like 7/10 did capture me enough to watch another episode but not like I was running to go watch it because I needed to actually listen and follow along which is tough with depression brain

Narrator is 100/10 though, absolutely the main reason I’ll be watching this show, very nice

[crosswordgf]

THIS IS SO FUNNY he did this experiment on a guy and made him immortal just to see how long a human would stand living and they meet up every 100 years and finally the human guy was like actually i think u meet up with me cause youre lonely and want friends and the sandman gets furious and a little teary eyed and says HOW DARE YOU INSINUATE THAT I NEED THE COMPANIONSHIP OF SOMEONE SUCH AS YOU. and storms off. i am delighted.

[mogmediarecords]

im sorry i just can't take dream seriously when he literally looks like the front man of an emo band

[bookersebastien]

dream growing increasingly baffled as hob still wants to live is so funny, he looks like a disgruntled kitten

[rememberingthesugden-dingles]

wait jenna coleman's gay in this too? 😮

thank u god

[cchaoticc]

is that the encephalitis lethargica?? when ppl choose to stay in their dreams like lyta says shes gonna do

[dykebush]

i do feel like everyone in the show is giving everything acting wise meanwhile morpheus is just kind of there to look emo and or hot. literally walking around looking like he was in an emo boyband 10 years ago sorry not sorry

[padfootprongslet]

not at me shipping alex/dream.

[milfheim]

john you MESSY BITCH

[vampiremotif]

johanna constantine 🤩

[politedemon]

in love with literally any character played by asim chaudhry

[crosswordgf]

i love this dumb emo weirdo he’s soooooooo funny actually

[chiefnooniensingh]

"I do tend to regard myself as a feminist writer" i hope dream fucking tears you apart, you smug piece of wet toilet paper

[vamprisms]

behold: dream of the endless