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#I have many thoughts and none of them are important
princessfbi · 2 days
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bucktommy + “come here”
Bucktommy
"Come here."
No matter how many times Tommy did it, Buck didn't think he'd ever get used to the slight thrill that rushed through him when Tommy's fingers tucked under his chin and lifted his head.
He just wished it was under different circumstances. The wide worry in the cobalt blue that Buck could've sworn were one eyelash bat away from sweeping him up like a hurricane turned icy and hard in an instant. Fury rippled through Tommy's expression as his movements turned stilted and uncompromising, shifting Buck's chin further up and to the side so he could get a better view of the bruises. The same bruises he'd been hoping to put off from showing his boyfriend for as long as possible.
But after three months of going slow before becoming official, there wasn't much Buck could hide from his boyfriend these days.
It was usually something he loved. Tommy made him feel seen in a way he didn't know he wanted to be seen until one night in his kitchen during quiet confessions and a similar instance of Tommy's fingers tucked under his chin.
Tommy wasn't kissing him then though. In fact, besides the firm weight of his fingers, he looked almost... devastated. Resigned.
"He did this to you?" It was a question even if Tommy didn't say it like it was. Buck pulled away from the prop of Tommy's fingers and ducked his chin down as he cut his eyes to the floor.
"It's not a big deal." He tried to step back so the lie wouldn't land on Tommy and stain him too. But Tommy's hands, his big beautiful hands, curled over his waist and pulled him back to him.
"Evan!" Tommy's eyes flashed with something Buck couldn't quite catch but that was probably because he was still too busy being starstruck by the way Tommy said his name.
He loved how Tommy said his name. Like it mattered. Like it was important. The only other people who ever managed to handle the weight of his name without the normal strain had been Maddie and Eddie and they had witnessed to all the ways life had added more pressure to the load.
Tommy said his name like it was effortless.
Still, Tommy sounded upset and that was the last thing he wanted to do so he shook his head and met his gaze again.
"It's really nothing. I should've been watching where the hose line was."
Tommy's brow arched and Buck could see he didn't believe him. "The hose line? Seriously?"
Buck leaned into Tommy's hold and settled his hands on his chest, rubbing up and down so Tommy knew that Buck was fine. Really. He was fine.
"I clipped my face on an open compartment door. Hen checked me out. Nothing's broken. I promise that I'm fine. It's just a little bruise. It's nothing I can't handle."
Anger flared in Tommy's expression again as his jaw ticked. "You shouldn't have to."
And no, he shouldn't. Buck should have been coming home from a shift where his muscles were sore but his heart and stomach were full from another shift in the greatest job he'd ever had where Bobby was his captain and they had family dinners that didn't feel like hostage situations.
But everything would get fixed. Bobby would figure how to get back to his team and they would be waiting for him. He had to believe that.
Buck thought about pretending like he didn't see exactly what had taken root in Tommy's worry. But Tommy wasn't the only one who could see things other's couldn't.
"Baby," Buck said as he cupped his cheek. "You got out."
"He's doing this to you because of me." Tommy bit out.
"He's doing this because we aren't scared of him." Buck corrected. "None of us are."
They'd all been practically daring Gerrard to suspend them. Hen had been the first to point out how it wouldn't be so easy to get rid of them now that the chief had made a media frenzy of their crew. Gerrard may have been in charge but they didn't bend like they used to under the sharp oppression of his command. They clashed into a bruising, straining stalemate that didn't have an end date anytime soon.
But the team would hold. It's what Bobby would've wanted.
That didn't mean Gerrard didn't make their life a living hell.
Tommy frowned as he let out a long breath from his nose, his hands coming up to circle Buck's wrists so he could kiss the bolt of his palms.
"Ice," Tommy said decisively. "You need ice so I can kiss you properly."
Buck grinned despite the pain that pulsed along his cheek where he was sure the purpling bruise looked worse than it was.
Gerrard could say or do whatever he wanted to Buck. It wouldn't change the fact that, at the end of the day, Buck had Tommy to come home to and could kiss wherever he wanted. And Buck would do whatever it took to keep Tommy away from the dark cloud that was his former boss. The same boss who made him so afraid to be seen that he'd hid for years.
Buck would take a million bruises to the face before he ever let that happen.
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ariel26c · 3 days
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Hey…I’ve been having some trouble, I’ve become frustrated with these issues and I need some help.
My first problem is robotic affirming, I’ve robotic affirmed all day every day for at least a month now, I’ve played subliminals and affirmation tapes consistently for hours a day for at least a month now, and I see everyone say “just affirm and persist” well let me tell you I’ve been doing that, every single time I wavered I brought myself back and flipped thoughts. I even felt calm and told myself that I’m gonna wake up in the void and it still hasn’t happened, I know I sound pathetic and I’ve manifested things so easily in seconds or minutes or even days just by saying affirmations a couple times and visualizing and living in the end but I do it with the void and nothing comes, I’m not the type of person to have negative thoughts, I don’t really ever doubt what I’m manifest won’t come even now as I’m typing this I’m not doubting that I’m going to wake up in the void but I’m just so frustrated, I’ve lived in the end for weeks and nothing so I don’t know what to do. It went to the point I was saying my affirmation so much that i would just automatically start saying it in my head with even intentioning to but still nothing, I don’t even think I’ve just been there just not aware I just don’t know anymore.
The second thing is subliminals, I’ve listened to so many void subliminals and I think I started listening to the ones I listen to every day at least a month ago as I said, but there’s subliminals I’ve just added because I wanted that thing like a early package subliminals and that came so quick but not the void ones, I added a beauty subliminal and a hair subliminal and I’ve gotten results from both but none of the void ones. I used void subs and affirmation tapes over night and still nothing, I’ve been being positive and pushing away negative thoughts by not giving them the time of day or flipping them but still nothing, I’m so tired of nothing, I’m so tired of manifesting other stuff in minutes and then doing the exact same thing for the void and it doesn’t work, this is so tiring.
The third thing is hypnosis and my neck, so I had begun to listen to this hypothesis for a sleep trigger being put in my mind, the first two times I tried it I liked it and it worked well I didn’t know if the sleep trigger thing was working but I was relaxed when listening to the video so I decided that if reprogram my mind along with it so I go to do it today, and I’ve always had a problem with my neck, it’s like whenever i lay on my back to do meditations or what ever it will start feeling weird, it’s like the feeling of there’s something around it and the first two times I’d didn’t feel it much but what made me break down today was that it was overwhelmingly clear and I just couldn’t continue the hypnosis, so I don’t know what to do because when I tried it on my side I didn’t feel the affect nearly as much as on my back. So I don’t know what to do.
My final things are that I don’t know what to do anymore, I feel lost now because I keep getting angel numbers like 444, 888, 999, 222, 333, 777, and 111 but I don’t know what to do. I’m feeling lost and need help, is there any advice you have for me?
Here’s the thing, you’re too focused on how long it’s taking to enter the void. Time isn’t important and it will never matter because in the end it is yours. You will enter the void no matter what and if you know that, then you wouldn’t be so focused on how long it’s been. You are doing good so keep going but if it’s the approach that’s making you feel frustrated since you’re doing so much then try something different.
You don’t need to do so many different things. Affirming is enough but if you want to do more like listening to subliminals then do that. You need to be stubborn and stop caring about how long it’s been. Focusing on time will only continue to create frustration and stress. You may saturate your mind with affirmations but what does it matter if you focus on time? It’s gonna feel like an eternal cycle.
You can listen to as many subliminal audios as you want and they are always going to work because they help reprogram your mind the more you listen to them. Reprogramming your mind isn’t necessary but it can help. Even if you don’t feel any changes doesn’t mean that change isn’t there. There is change and just because you haven’t entered the void doesn’t mean that everything is still the same. If you been persisting and affirming then the change is there, I promise.
Manifesting things is on the same level as entering the void. Entering the void isn’t more difficult than simply manifesting. Matter of a fact you don’t need the void to manifest, it’s completely optional. The void is literally you. You are the void. It’s not separate from you and it’s not a physical place you have to travel to.
Take it easy and please take a break if you need to. Prioritize your wellbeing.
Seeing those synchronicity’s is not a coincidence. Although you don’t need to see signs. Even if you didn’t see a single angel number you would still enter the void. Entering the void is inevitable if you’ve been persisting.
As for hypnosis I don’t really listen to hypnosis but I can tell you that you don’t need to do them if you don’t want to. If listening to them makes things feel stressed then don’t do them. Do what makes you feel comfortable and don’t force yourself to do things that cause frustration.
So take a break if you need to and if you feel frustrated from doing certain things do something different. Try doing less.
Let me know if you have more questions 💕
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superbattrash · 1 year
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Hi, I watched the first episode of sandy aka The Sandman and here are my many, many thoughts
Sandy ep 1
Oh okay much more magical intro that I was expecting. He’s got a really nice narrator voice, I approve
“Father likes to be called magus” ok so father is insane, gotcha
OH MY GOD IS THAT THE FATHER? Can’t remember the actor’s name but I feel like he’s good as far as old white men actors go. Wait he’s in game of thrones isn’t he? This will annoy me
Off Jutland? Wait I live in Jutland!!! If it’s yaknow. The Danish Jutland.
Jesus Christ okay so he’s insane and an asshole, good to know. “Randall was my greatest joy” THE KID IS RIGHT THERE
Oh no, are you serious? You can’t make death do anything. Have you not seen Puss in Boots 2? That never ends well
THAT GOTTA BE THE TEEF GUY HELLO TEEF MAN oh you’re not good :( “my lord”, damn that’s hot
[Dream groaning] and it just sounds like a dying bee
Even Father is surprised this is working. Oh no, this won’t do any good, you’ll fuck someone up, I just know it. Oh is, he slammed into the floor hard, didn’t he? Poor sandy, he’s not even conscious
Is he gonna sacrifice his son??? Oh no, he’s just using him to do the dangerous stuff just in case, okay, that seems fair 🙄
YOU CANT JUST TAKE THAT, YOU LUNATIC!!!!! Thief!!!!! Oh my god he’s naked….. DON’T TOUCH HIM?????? What the FUCK
I TOLD YOU SO, YOU RUINED THE SLEEP, YOU PSYCHO!!!! TEEF MAN, EAT HIM!!!!! Oh no of course not, why would it be that easy
Oh they’re all D’s, that’s pretty cool
This honestly looks like some kind of renaissance painting, all naked and in glass, poor sandy :(
You’re doing this because you want your dead son back from the dead? Grieving would be better for everybody, you idiot. Humans are the most selfish things ever, dear god
He won’t give you shit, old man, fuck off
Alex is not like other boys, Alex reads gasp gasp. And he attracts older pretty ladies, that’s nice. Too nice. She’s too good to be true, isn’t she? Hmmmm
Oh no, don’t leave the kid alone with him. Or wait maybe do?? I’m not sure who do root for yet except the naked man in the glass bubble because he has a nice voice. You’re presenting yourself??? Oh no, poor boy
Angry little sandy doing the >:c face
OH SHIT DADDY CAUGHT YOU!!!! Was he about to beat his own son with a cane? He’s paranoid and insane oh my god if YOU can’t shoot the bird, how’s Alex supposed to??
Ethel, aw. That’s a nice name
Do you sense your birb is here, sandy? BE CAREFUL, BIRDIE!!!! Oh daddy’s a Hunter huh? No wonder I don’t like him
Are you seriously gonna burn the house down? Impressive, actually. Oh birdie, you found him 🥺 look at that face, he’s almost smiling
The bird’s gonna die, isn’t it? OH MY G O D, I TOLD YOU SO THAT IS HORRIBLE HOW FUCKING COULD YOU?!?!?! 😭😭😭 THAT WAS HIS FRIEND!!! You better fucking bury it right, you little shit.
Oh god, not sleeping at all?? You can die from that, can’t you???
…are they gay? They could totally be gay. It sounded like flirting
Oh noooo, Ethel, why are you crying? :( a baby? Oh dear. Papa doesn’t like that, does he? Of course he doesn’t. Shithead. PLEASE RUN AWAY ETHEL oh or grab a taxi, that’s great too. AND you robbed him??? I’m kinda impressed by you, E
He CANT FUCKING RAISE THE DEAD YOU ABSOLUTELY MORON, he can’t just give you whatever your tiny mind wants
Oh THANK GOD, someone finally stood up to him. Oh no, did you kill your own dad? That’s gonna give you ALL the issues, you idiot
Look at him. He’s waiting for you to free him, you’re ALLOWED NOW, you’re the master of the- oh wow he really is naked, huh??? 😳
His father would beat him senseless, what does it matter what he would say? Jesus these people are all so moronic
Oh it’s the gay boy again!!!
WHAT THE SHIT HES ACTUALLY GAY???? Oh my god I feel so weird, this never happens
Is Ethel important or is baby Johnny? Or both? I feel like they’re both involved a lot, even without the stealing
Gay boy wanting him to let sandy out, please please please. Oh his name is Paul, hi Paul. I like Paul, Paul seems good
You didn’t, did you? Oh could not, right, of course. Oh man, how many years went by? THEY GOT MARRIED? Awwwww. Like, a tentative aww but still, I never get to see happy gay endings
Paul, don’t say anything. Paul, don’t do it. Paul. Good good good, good boy, man, good Paul
Lord, that is an intense stare, little sandy
Nicely placed hand there, kiddo, wouldn’t want us to see your actual everything, huh? You are. So very thin, my boy
Oh god no is he gonna kill Alex? At least don’t kill Paul, he helped!!! Oh it’s a dream, sorry, my bad
FUCK ME HE LOOKS SCARY
Of course he doesn’t understand, nobody told him, sandy, you’re punishing Paul too :/ although, okay, I get it, it makes sense
Oh ew, teef man, you really. Those are some. There are teef on you, man
Aww look at him, that’s actually a smile, isn’t it? Poor little sandy, finally home with his sand <333 Oh god he can’t get in, can he? Not without his things??? Please omg no
Oh thank god, at least the doors open for him. Everything looks so awful :( oh he’s so sad, his home is all broken
Aw there’s some sad backstory there, huh? Which of the Endless jumped ship before? Death, Desire, one of the other Ds?
Okay okay okay, that was good, lots to absorb. Still waiting for the plot plot I think, is he gonna go around chasing the dreams and nightmares? That sounds fun
I won’t grade it because it’s like 7/10 did capture me enough to watch another episode but not like I was running to go watch it because I needed to actually listen and follow along which is tough with depression brain
Narrator is 100/10 though, absolutely the main reason I’ll be watching this show, very nice
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aeoris4lovers · 1 year
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matt mercer as essek thelyss & laura bailey as jester lavorre + the last days of judas iscariot
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autumnhobbit · 5 months
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I’m gonna be real with you guys, I kind of dread the idea of trying to raise any future kids in this church
#and it’s not because i don’t believe the faith. obvs i do#but like in practice i’m either going to be going by myself or with my mom & siblings or whoever#i don’t have any friends my age so idk how i’m gonna find good friends for future kids#and obvs i want them to have good friends#i do believe in the virtues of friendship and believe it’s an important thing for people to experience and work at#but also i’ve had a lot of heartbreak in friendship and have a complicated relationship with it#and when i think back on my own childhood in churches it was always so turbulent#both because my family didn’t gel with the cultures/ideals of so many parishes#and because my dad made enemies everywhere we went (for obvious reasons but still)#that wasn’t us kids’ fault#but it didn’t matter#i thought i had adults to look up to in faith#but i have literally none i have a close relationship with#and even the ones i respect that doesn’t mean they’re good around kids#or would like hanging out with me#and i don’t want just any random person thinking because they’ve talked to me a couple times#that they get say in the close intimate decisions or issues i have with my spouse or children#the whole thing is strange tbh#like i don’t even want to have a close relationship with some priests even if i respect them or like them#and too many priests think that just cause they see you once a week they know you and should have a say in things they know nothing about#idk man catholicism in america and maybe the world is just. so hard nowadays.
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indiiglow · 2 years
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(Okay just because I can't fucking shut up about this for five minutes)
So you know how the first time we see Allu in Space it's not the first time they're seeing us? That's what our meeting with Dark in Date is
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noxious-fennec · 1 year
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PLEASEEEE tell me about the symbolism in your drawing Oh i am dying to know
HII why thank you for asking!! I'll try my best to answer concisely but Tl;dr I'm not normal about either cwilbur or flower symbolism :) it also must be noted that a lot of my decisions are entirely based on my personal cultural experience so I hope if anything you find it interesting.
For an overview, The peice is inspired by art nouveau, namely alphonse mucha and henri privat livemont, and is mostly based on this hamlet production poster by the former. The composition however is not based on said illustration, and is slightly inspired in part by stained glass and fences of the movement. The clothing cwilbur is wearing is from the edwardian period, if I've got my references correct it's earlier in the period, though not any year in particular. It differs drastically in the fact that the colors are very vibrant (I can't help putting cwil in shades of red, ho16 permanently changed my brain chemistry), and that the Cape part of the inverness cape is entirely too short. Otherwise I've attempted to keep the general silhouette accurate.
Now the plant symbolism:
First: Arabian jasmine (which fun fact are not actually the same as the 4 petal vine yasmine, has a different name, Full (فل), and they grow on shrubs) and the Damascus rose go together because of two reasons: 1) i didn't know other flowers to put there and 2) they're very closely tied in my brain. If you try to find their symbolism you'll find a lot of things about beauty and purity, as is common with any white flower or rose, but my reasoning differs. Without going into too much detail, I intended for them to symbolise community and belonging.
Daffodils (the ones depicted are the ones most common in my region, they may not resemble the expectations but they are indeed daffodils) mean death rebirth and hope, its a flower i generally associate with cwil. Same meaning goes for the white lilies. And poppies have a heavy association with war and generally symbolise remeberance and hope for peace, and thus, l'manberg association.
The next five are flowers that represnt certain characters strictly based on cwilbur's preception of them, but they can be applied to others as well, i just thought these were most important:
Freesia: especially when yellow, usually means thoughtfulness, trust and friendship. represents cranboo.
Orange/tiger lilly: pride, hatred, status, tenacity.  Cquackity
Lilly of the valley: cmon we all know this one, ctommy
Boat orchid: virtue and morality, a gesture of respect and friendship. Ctubbo
Gladiolus: diminutive of gladius(sword); strength of character, moral integrity and rememberance. ctechno
pomegranate tree and fruit: pomegranates have a very different connotation in Western media, from what I can glean, as opposed to what I'm used to them being perceived as (I won't derail this but I can elaborate if needed). In short, I've chosen to take advantage of this double meaning and so its here to represent life death and resurrection while the tree is for family and home.
On a side note, I was originally going to do night blooming jasmine (مسك الليل) but it wasn't working, the symbolism of it however still stand: its a flower many love and think smells amazing, but rarely do they actually want the burden of having it in their own yards because of how deathly strong it smells. I was intending on using it to symbolise the complicated nature of cwilbur's relationship with the important people in his life.
And finally, the olive tree: aside from its meanings of peace and friendship, olive trees also mean olive oil which is a product with many healing properties that is not too easy to make and requires a lot of work. i chose it to mean healing and the process thereof.
So yeah that's it, hope it's up to expectation and thanks for the interest means a lot to me <33
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mazojo · 1 year
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Guys I finished the supernatural aliens not aliens demogorgons dnd something something show !
#so many thots so many head empty i am quite literally dealing !!!#as you can see characters are ranked in a scale of whether they are Will Byers or not and as most of the cast is not will Byers they can't#be as cool important relevant funny and interesting as S tier rip#ALL JOKES ASIDE I AM CRYING SCREAMING AND THROWING UP ALL AT ONCE S4 FINALE HELLO???#(also no one get offended okay this is me being funny dont take me seriously)#but yes objectively Joyce is the best character in the show but Will makes me emo because he needs a hug and therapy and aha pls someone#help him and by someone I mean Mike Wheeler helLO STOP BEING DUMB REACT DO SOMETHING#every time mike says does or literally appears on my screen is constant go girl give us nothing it irks my blood#I still love them all but goD did they decide to make Mike annoying !#plot wise s1 is the best imo but emotionally devastating wise s4 because none of them made me cry except the last one in the lumax scene#loved s3 aesthetic tho and s2 Noah's acting is amazing#ship wise only canon ships I care about is Joyce and hopper & Lucas and max#(hopefully robin next season please ??? girlfriend???)#non canon obviously Will x mike soulmates and it hurts haha but also love me my max x el and steddie was also nice#I thought I would care about Eddie more and while I dont hate him or anything he was just kinda there and I wish he had more moments to shin#because that final scene with dustin was devastating#anyways sorry I needed to rant I have feelings#stranger things
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psalmsofpsychosis · 2 years
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🔥 hell-sautéd wip wednesday 🔥
childhood enemies to lovers PazDin? in my house?
i mean yeah, they literally live in my house i'm housing them for the entire winter
also i'm sorry about force inserting tangerines into gffa but anyway
Din keeps a vibroblade in in his left pouch. The blade has not been honed in 10 years; he knows it's been 10 years and he knows that he's counting 10 days less.
Pas dropped it after cutting a yet unripe orange off the nearest tree for him, they were both child soldiers and nobody was allowed near the trees. Paz ran, Din didn't; it was 10 days after his punishment labour that he snuck out and stole the vibroblade from the main hall's lost and found locked cabinet. That'd make his first hunting job, if he lined out 10 days of being haunted by the sight of Paz's fingers curling too tight around the handle of the blade; 10 days of hunting for the aftertaste of bitter tangerine on his tongue.
He counts 10 days less off a 10 years old mistake, his first hunting job. It was a job after all; everything is an order and a duty around here, he was ordered to work under Paz's command at 13, he follows the man around as his puny shadow now that he's 23. It's an order to not sleep without any weapons on you, and Din tells himself that it's a part of that same order that he keeps Paz's stolen blade on him when he sleeps at nights. Maybe a different part.
Paz is right-handed, din found out the first time Paz punched him in the gut at 17. Paz wants to kill him, and din keeps the stolen blade on a side that'll be easier to reach for when Paz eventually comes for him one night. End the hunt with what you started it with, Din thinks.
It's part of the same order.
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miyeosin · 2 years
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🫠
i do wish soyeon would shuffle the order in which members sing for the title tracks. they usually change things up a bit on the bsides but i wish she would do it for the songs they actually get to promote. it’s just a little annoying that miyeon is pretty much always just singing part of the chorus (or pre chorus). and i can really only use rv as an example of what i mean bc they’re the only other gg that i stan so i know their songs well enough to remember the orders, but in queendom and fmr each member had a part that wasn’t part of the chorus or singing the same exact line twice. and idle has their own sound right i don’t want that to change i’m not saying they need to change that much but i just wish soyeon would mix it up. and i love her i really do but sometimes it really does feel like ‘soyeon and friends’ when she has a significant part of the first verse, and then a rap (which is usually a significant part of the song as well). tomboy and nxde are pretty similar so based off that it just feels like a bit of a waste to have soyeon singing part of the first verse when there are 2 members who could being singing something other than the chorus. and the places where she would usually put soojin just feel like they’ve just become part of whoever was singing before then (minnie usually, and/or soyeon) yuqi’s been getting an extra line in between minnie and soyeon in the first verse but she also tends to be delegated to just the chorus. even shuhua has had verses outside of the chorus. and truly truly truly this is no shade to any of them, i’m miyeon biased yes but i really do love soyeon so much, i just want some variety in the title track structure. let yuqi open the song! let miyeon do more of those little bits (adlibs?) that are sprinkled throughout songs! put a bridge that’s not just instrumental or non-lexical vocables (yes i looked up the term for it) back in the songs! let her sing something other than the chorus. tomboy and nxde are on the shorter side so make them a little longer to let the vocalists sing!
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musical-chick-13 · 2 years
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...That...sure was a reveal wasn’t it.
#Idk I feel like this example of 'mental illness plaguing my mind so it inspires me to hurt others because I see life as inherent suffering'#was done a lot better and a lot less overtly ableist than most examples#kind of like...it wasn't saying that having The Brain Disease is inherently Evil™ but more...lending context to the character's worldview?#I think it helps that as soon as he realizes that he's not changing anything and that there's a flaw in his logic he gets better#like he backtracks and apologizes and tries to help people in earnest#but I'm also just kind of...Idk do we really NEED another story where a mentally ill person is harming people because of their illness?#is that in and of itself an ableist trope?? I don't know!!! I am conflicted in this Chili's tonight!!!!! and by Chili's I mean my room with#a giant tub of ice cream I had delivered to me!!!!!!!!!#mc13 watches anime#but then again I don't consider my icon aka best character of all time to be an ableist stereotype for the reason of 'mental illness is not#why she's bad. she's bad because she chooses to be' and 'it makes her sympathetic and isn't some 'Inherent Reason Why She's Evil'#so obviously it can be done. and I think it's counterproductive to say that we can never write villains with mental illness at all#I also think. in this case. it's important to note that EVERYONE is a pretty bad person and none of the OTHER bad people are called 'crazy'#or referenced as being mentally ill in any way. it's literally this one person and he's the most fleshed out out of all of them?#so it's like. is my discomfort because I'm tired of seeing mentally ill Bad People in fiction due to Personal Issues or is this particular#instance an actual example of the 'demonization' problem#MANY THOUGHTS HEAD FULL (distressed)#the real horror was the ableism we found along the way
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oyasleepy · 4 months
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i miss deviantart so so so so so fucking bad rn
#oyaspeaky#like . i dont miss the niche drama stuff#but i DO miss being able to generally easily sell designs n comms & the ability to just... Be Around other artists#without having to fucking hunt for them constantly on every new social media i join .#i miss passing around the same $30 between a circle of like 5 artists comming each other...#before it went to shit deviantart was probably the most comfortable ive ever been on a “social media” type site#and tbh! while there r many alternatives trying to fill the void! none of em hit right for me ):#none of the ones ive tried anyway!#it's not worth trying to go back now though bc the site itself scrapes everything posted for ai (unless u opt out. ig)#and theres tons of people just posting ai “adoptables.” with the site's . Built In ai feature. <3#love that. thanks#being an Artist on Social Media outside of deviantart feels a lot more . like . pressured?#it feels more like even hobbyists get treated as Content Machines and not . like. someone just drawing bc they want to...#idk! im rambling . i just have a lot of thoughts abt it... i miss what deviantart used to be#even though i met some of the worst ppl ive ever met over there. i also met some of the most important ppl in my life#thats just how itd be on any site ever i think.........#the real bottom line here is i have got to get more comfortable posting abt ocs in public i feel like a shaken bottle of soda#<- thats related. i promise . im just very tired and im not gonna explain the mental link . haha byebye#if u read all of this . i give u a BEEG forehead kiss. thank u
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heritageposts · 2 years
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i saw the trailer for the new feel-good “anti-racist” US war movie about the carpet bombing of North Korea and started writing up something for this blog, partially inspired by the absolute shit storm i got for sharing that post i made with pictures of everyday life outside pyongyang
and then i gave up, because what’s the point? westerners can’t even handle a single picture of a north korean not looking miserable without screaming propaganda
meanwhile, there are no stories about the horrors of life in the ‘hermit kingdom’ that are deemed too outlandish to be believable. i can’t remember who said it, but it’s like the entire country has taken up permanent residence in the western imaginary as some silly little cartoon villain, where the leaders of the country does evil things for no discernible reason. they’re just silly and evil like that, and the citizens, of course, are silly, too. silly and brainwashed.
i watched a video recently of a tourists visiting an auto dealership in pyongyang, and the entire time he was just gawking at the employees and costumers, shoving his phone in their face, and confidently explaining to his youtube audience that everyone he’s interacting with are actually actors.
what level of dehumanization do you have to reach for that thought to even cross your mind? to think that the people you see before you are actors? that entire cities and shops are erected with to sole purpose that you, a western, will see them and be impressed?
what frustrates me the most is the casual cruelty that seeps into any mention of north korea, no matter how small. if north koreans are not being evil, they’re being silly.
a north korean newspaper reports that a group of archeologists in pyongyang have discovered an old rock carving with the words ‘unicorn lair’ (mistranslated), and the western press reports that north koreans now believe in unicorns.
a tourist at a hotel in hamhung is told by the receptionist to be careful at the beach: the waves can get high. that day the tourists goes to the beach, and there are no waves. she retells the story to her instagram followers, explaining that the poor woman at the hotel could never have seen real waves before because north koreans are probably never allowed to travel.
she adds a little teary-eyed emoji.
one of the cities i included in the post was sariwon, a densely populated city to the south of pyongyang. below are some pictures from its “folk customs street”, which was built to showcase old korean traditions and customs
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here’s all wikipedia has to say about it
Built to display an ideal picture of ancient Korea, it includes buildings in the "historical style" and a collection of ancient Korean cannons. Although it is considered an inaccurate romanticized recreation of an ancient Korean street, it is frequently used as a destination for foreigners on official government tours. Many older style Korean buildings exist in the city.
it’s just north koreans being silly again. there’s no mention of what might motivate them to build a street like that — why the preservation of old customs, culture and architecture might somehow be important for the city
could it perhaps have something to do with how the U.S. air force dropped 635,000 tons of bombs, including 32,557 tons of napalm, over the korean peninsula during the war? the carpet bombings, which are now the topic of an upcoming hollywood movie about overcoming racism through warcrimes, destroyed an estimate of 85% of all buildings in north korea. some cities were entirely wiped off the map.
in sariwon they missed a few buildings, but not many — after an intense firebombing campaign the U.S. military estimated the destruction of sariwon to be at 95%.
none of this is mentioned on the wikipedia page for sariwon.
we destroyed entire cities. memory-holed the entire thing, called it the forgotten war. and now, 70 years later, we’re convincing ourselves that the people living in the ruins are actors.
and somehow the north koreans are the brainwashed ones
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tarjapearce · 8 months
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El Diablo Wears Prada
Mafia Boss! Miguel O'Hara x Reader
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WARNINGS: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. Cucking, Forced Voyeurism, A bit of Dark Miguel, Dom! Miguel, P in V, Oral (F receiving) Face sitting, manhandling, mild knife play, criminal undertones, Implied mild exhibitionism, emotional distress, mentions of cheating, Dubious morals, implicit non-con oral at the end (M receiving). No proofread.
Summary: Tired of warnings and dialogues with your stubborn and corrupt husband, The Devil shows up at your home.
A/N: Had to get it out of me. jsksj. Finally. Enjoy (?) ❤️✨.
Pt. 2
From the many times people tried to persuade you from marrying your current husband, none of them were successful.
Massimo Bianchi. An important lawyer that had swooped you off your feet with his smile and Italian charisma.
People often told you that he wasn't good. None had to be a genius to know the man was in shady business as his main job was to defend the top dogs of  corporate world. He didn't have to mingle with underworld criminals to know how they worked cause he was one.
Corrupt lawyer that always came out successful in his cases. But you remained on the shadows, blissfully ignorant of your husband's doings to the world. All you knew was that he was the head of his firm and that alone earned him a good chunk of money.
You thought him good, though your marriage had been cold for the last few years. Even though he spoiled you with things, you didn't want materialistic rewards. You wanted him.
A true fool. Your friends called you. Sometimes you truly wondered if it
was love or just that attachment that had grown over time? The kind that makes one so used to a person that their absence feels odd yet expected? You didn't know nor cared. As long as he kept coming home at night, things would be right. Everything would be fine and the fake illusion of a perfect marriage would keep playing in the background.
And it was. Until death threats kept coming into your mail. All of them saying the same.
Stay away.
Confrontations weren't really your thing, but the tension had turned so dense that arguments were the main course of everyday. Massimo refused to spill the beans as dread only kept growing inside your already rattled mind. Just like the death threats. All of them signed by El Diablo.
"Amore, he is none. Just a petty criminal that is pissed I'm locking up his associates."
Lies, lies and more lies.
A petty criminal wouldn't put you on edge, wouldn't make you feel watched. Cause in truth, wherever you went the feeling of being observed remained etched in every step you took.
"That's exactly what they want you to believe, cara mía. That's a tactic for scum like them to scare decent people like us."
You didn't pressed any further, rather save your breath. He was as closed as an hermetic safe box.
-----
To relax your nerves you decided to go shopping, and returned home with an idea that you were certain would rekindle the cold flame in your marriage. Massimo seemed way too busy in his work to make an approach, and when you wanted to initiate things, he'd just push you away with the excuse that he was exhausted.
And you were tired of toys and your hand. So, you took a bath, lathered your body in rich and delicious smelling oils, and slipped into an emerald green silk and velvet lingerie set you just bought.
You hid it all underneath a skin tight black dress that enhanced your body shape. Hair done in a messy yet sultry look, a subtle fem fatale makeup with a gorgeous shade of burgundy lips.
The sound of your husband's car breaking violently snapped your attention at the front door. Massimo bursted out through the door and you smiled.
"Hey, darling!"
"Pack your shit. We're leaving."
You frowned in confusion at his sudden panicky and antsy state. But most importantly his tone. Urgent, demanding and scared.
"W-What? Where are-"
"There is no time for questions! Just do as I tell you! Now!"
He grabbed you by the arm and dragged you to the bedroom.
"Massimo, you're scarying me. What's going on?!"
Bianchi groaned as he threw you on the bed, nose flaring in anger at your reluctance.
"Non hai sentito, stupida stronza? Fai quello che ti dico, cazzo!" (Didn't you hear, dumb bitch? Do as I fucking tell you!)
Your teary eyes widened at him, frantic and fumbling with the suitcases. Filling them with papers and valuable objects. Not even clothes, just things you were sure he treasured more than your marriage.
"MOVE IT!" He roared and you blinked away your tears, scrambling out of his sight. He muttered things you didn't understand much as he shoved more papers inside. You grabbed the first suitcase you found and filled in with the necessary.
The sound of cars breaking and revving into the pebbled porch of your luxurious  home made Massimo to pull out a gun, you gasped and he ushered you to come closer. You kneeled next to him as he spoke in hushed whispers.
"No matter what happens, you remain silent okay?"
Your trembling hands clung to him as fear begun numbing your judgment. There was a collective round of car's doors slapping shut and footsteps that approached almost in scary synchronization.
"Go through the pool entrance, take this with you and leave. I'll see you in the other apartment"
"N-No, Massi-"
He kissed you, as he pushed a stack of documents further in your hands.
"No matter what, don't let them get this, ok?" His hushed whispers didn't help soothing your already fried nerves
"Massimo!"
"Go!"
He dispatched you with an angry growl, shaking legs scrambled once more ducking down the windows. You removed the heels as you crossed the manor, tears momentarily blurring your sight as you reached the pool. A shot in the air made you still, before you ran back inside.
A few shots and screaming voices followed you. The pained screams of your husband along some grunts made you whimper in fear. You hid behind the kitchen's large breakfast island as steps echoed ominously close. No matter in what direction you tried to go, the men, clad in black and red were there. Awaiting for their prey. Anything that moved.
The paper crumpled under your tight grip, and you covered your mouth, to remain as quiet as possible. Heavy steps retired from your area, and you exhaled in mild relief. Heart pumped hard with every passing beat, you snuck past the island to go back to the main entrance.
And just as you were about to taste freedom, the largest man you had ever seen, clad in a rich black suit and polished shoes, blocked your entrance with a stoic gaze that shifted into a shameless smirk upon seeing you.
Big, strong and long limbs trapped you against him as you cried and thrashed in a meek attempt to free yourself.
"Shh, shhh shh"
His nose nuzzled your neck and you stilled, tears rolled down your cheeks as he pointed a gun to your head. The cold metal against your temple made your breathings erratic.
"Tranquila, corazón. I'm not gonna hurt you." (Relax, sweetheart)
He dragged you to one of the many spare rooms in the house. A tall black woman with a frondous afro was finishing tying Massimo on the ground to then wipe away the blood caked in her brassed knuckles. 
His handsome face littered in bruises, a blooming dark eye on his left, a busted lip and his broken nose was all that remained after the bravado he often boasted up. Your heart couldn't help but sink in further at the sight.
You tried to go to his side, but the man only tightened his grip on you.
"Mr. Bianchi."
The man holding you spoke, to then aim his gun to him.
"S-Stop! Please!"
He kissed you deeply as his hands handcuffed your hands back. The kiss was so fast you barely had time to digest it, just like everything that was happening around you.
"You really need to shut your pretty mouth for a bit, cariño."
"Hei! Lasciala!" (Hey! Leave her)
A blonde man kneed him in the stomach, knocking all the air out of Massimo as he doubled in pain.
"Stop!" You squealed in between hiccups. Fat tears rolled down your cheeks, ruining your makeup. The papers you were given were long gone from your hands.
The woman with the afro smirked upon reading them.
"We got it, Miguel."
Massimo gulped at the name. Miguel O'Hara, one of the major criminal Don's in the underworld, El Diablo himself had came to his home to collect his reaps.
"I tried to be a reasonable man with you, Mr. Bianchi, but given your stubborn nature to cooperate and pay what's rightfully mine, I must take drastic measures for you to understand that I don't like being lied to."
Miguel made a sign for everyone to leave.
"M-Massi? What... What is he talking about?"
"You lie to your lovely wife?" His face turned one of disgust and his large feet pushed Massimo's head on the ground, his swollen cheek flattening against the expensive Prada shoes adorning Miguel's feet.
You only looked away as your husband groaned in pain despite Miguel holding back from hurting him seriously.
" You see, cariño. Your doting husband right here, has been fucking around with my associates."
He removed the outer layer of his suit and carefully laid it on a nearby chair.
"People that have worked hard for what they have and have come to me in dire need of protection against this... greedy coward."
Your eyes snapped back to Massimo as he kept folded in pain, his eyes adverted from you.
"Bribing the judges, increasing taxes, charging extra fees to those who need him? And not enough, this cabrón tiene los huevos para pedir dinero en mi nombre." (This fucker has the guts to collect money in my name.)
His meaty mouth clicked in disapproval. 
"Is that true?"
He remained quiet, blood caking on his lips and chin.
"Massimo, look at me. Is that true?!"
"I'm really sorry you have to find out this way, preciosa. But don't you worry. I know he will pay."
Dread sunk in further at his words. If there was something you were so sure of, that if your life depended on it you wouldn't fear in risking it, is the little fact that your husband never really had the intention of paying debts.
A habit that stuck with him in your dating stage, something he never grew out of. And now the fatal consequences were only added in his karma balance.
"The hell I am!" Bianchi spat at his shoes, and Miguel, unbuttoned his shirt to then pull out a cigarette. He took a long drag. Cherry scent filled in your lungs as he blew the smoke in his direction.
"I'll put you behind bars, O'Hara!"
Miguel chuckled, showing his canines. One of the reasons of his nickname.
He pulled the cigarette out of his mouth and crushed the ablaze end on your husband's forehead. A new groan of pain along a few Italian curses filled in the room.
You looked away, too scared and stunned to actually do something. What help could you possibly be? You were handcuffed, barefooted and emotionally all over the place. The many warnings about him finally weighing on your shoulders.
Your name was called between breathless and pained yelps, but you refused to acknowledge him.
"Let her go, please." You heard him, speak, but no words or pleas seemed to move Miguel. He just stared at Massimo with a bored expression as he crouched to meet his eyes.
"Hope you have told her that you cheated her with one of my favorite colleagues."
His words were the last stab you could handle, you broke in tears.
"I should kill you for that alone, but that would be too merciful of me."
Miguel stood up and prowled over you, his hands reached for your face and wiped away your tears carefully.
"I am a firm believer of 'An eye for an eye', Mr. Bianchi."
He removed the shirt, leaving his torso bare before you, eyes couldn't help but wander before retreating away, Miguel smirked.
"Are you?"
Massimo glared at him, heaving through the pain as he pulled a pocket knife and approached you.
"I'll have to make you a believer, then."
The sharp of the blade slid down your dress, enough to tear through the fabric covering your breasts. His lips pursed to give an appreciating whistle upon seeing your mounds clad in the velvety and silky texture of your lingerie.
" Con permiso, cariño." (Excuse me, darling)
Big hands took each a piece of fabric to tear the dress in half as you gasped and tried to scurry away from him. A hand grope your nape and you stilled.
One of his hands was big enough to pull you before your husband as the other one rested on the dip of your waist.
"Look at that. Por Dios... Was this a surprise for him?"
Upon your silence he squeezed your nape a bit tighter and you yelped.
"Y-Yes!"
"Too fucking bad he doesn't deserves it, right preciosa?"
"Don't you dare to touch her!"
Miguel nearly cackled at his measly threats. He took a couch and placed it before him. The coolness in the room made your skin crawl, but when he kissed your neck, an involuntary gasp left your lips.
"How long has been since this man touched you?"
His hands roamed your body, fingertips grazed your silky covered nipples as his other hand ghosted over your velvet clad pussy.
Another tiny whimper as he sat down on the couch, you were placed ontop of him, your thighs stretched, making to meet the width of his well sculpted ones, clad in fine wool. Hot and moist tongue caressed the upper part of your earlobe.
"M-Months"
You gulped and his touches stopped.
"You steal, you cheat and are a con man, yet you refuse to touch your wife? And me thinking I was the monster here."
He sat you in one of his thighs and pinched the bridge of his nose, an annoyed and incredulous look on his face.
"Lucky for you I'm in a good mood right now. Vamos a arreglar eso." (Let's fix that)
His hand cupped your chin and pulled you in for a kiss. Upon feeling his tongue invading your mouth, you recoiled but this only enticed him to snake his tongue around yours, sucking it and savoring you. The oils in your skin tickled his nose, a sweet and delicious scent that he'd often gift to his most prominent conquers.
But the way you had so dotingly prepared yourself for the cheating of a man you had for a husband, stirred something within him. You groaned as you demanded for air.
A thin dribble of his saliva connecting your mouths as hot pants fanned on eachother's lips.
He kneeled behind you and rolled your silk and velvet panties down your hips and knees. He tossed them away and bent you over, earning a yelp from you as your face was inches away from your alarmed husband.
"Don't" He shook his head and whispered. It came out like a silent plea that you ignored as Miguel sunk his face between your thighs from behind with a groan. Tongue teasing your mound, caressing softly at your clit.
You trembled and clenched your jaw to avoid moaning too loud. Shame spurted over your face in the shape of a bright red flush and a heavy feeling on your stomach. Big tanned thumbs spreaded your cheeks, to push himself deeper. His tongue lapped and teased; learning your skin's taste and texture that felt wonderful on his tongue and taste buds.
Wet and sloshing slurps made you pant and choke a moan as his hands grabbed your hips, exhorting them to use his handsome face as a seat. His tongue dribbled up and down your shivering and soaked flesh.
You groaned.
"Oh my god!" You mewled as you rode his face softly, "I-I'm so sorry!"
You spoke in between breathless pants as Miguel just moved your hips faster. Your mouth went slack and your needy breath fanned over your husband.
"Cara mía?" He'd whisper with pleading eyes but you were too enraptured in your brewing bliss. By instinct your hips seeked the movements of his tongue, chasing that relief only his mouth seemed to provide.
Legs quivered as they stood in their tip toes that curled in everytime he toyed with your clit. The smoothenes of his ministrations and the unceasing wet slurps he gave in your flesh, inched you closer and closer to the dangerous precipice of corruption and pleasure.
Another man was devouring you with such hunger you didn't think possible, as your lawful husband was forced to watch as you came right before him. It made your knees weak.
Eyes drooped before they clamped shut and your mouth hissed through panting and erratic breaths a needy Yes!
The guards outside the closed door were unfazed at Miguel’s antics. But the smirk on their faces were full of pride. El Diablo, their boss was someone people often had the misfortune of underestimate, until they were no longer laughing and rather plea for mercy or death, whichever came first.
Your hands behind your back slowly tingled as numbness spreaded upwards your arms.
Miguel separated himself and wiped his chin off your delicious slick and pulled the couch closer, he unzipped his pants and spreaded your thighs above his once more. Your chest heaved as you nested against his torso, fire licking your skin at the contact. The pocket knife was brought to your skin as he locked eyes with a disturbed yet aroused Massimo.
The tip of the sharp blades ran down up your torso, leaving a faint pink trail on it's wake, your breath hitching at the sensation until it reached the elastic lower band of your bra that held the cups together.
You didn't expected the quality elastic to give in so easily under the sharpness of a frail looking knife. Your breast spilled from the velvety green confinements and Miguel groaned while he hissed in delight at the sight.
He slapped your husband's face with a serious scowl
"Watch and learn how to treat a woman, cabrón."
Miguel fumbled with his pants and cotton briefs before releasing his aching and hard cock free. Bianchi adverted his eyes, embarrassed as defeat washed over him.
Miguel slapped the tip against your drenched folds, a cue for you to move your hips and smear more of your slick all over him before sinking in balls deep.
The intrusion felt delightful and painfully tight. Inner muscles clamped around him, making his head be thrown back, relishing not only at how hot and delicious you felt, but also at the feeling of your tightness trembling around him.
"Maldita sea preciosa, me estás matando". (Goddammit beautiful . You're killing me)
His hands hooked underneath the back of your knees, making you lean against him completely. Firm and cinnamon skin toned pecs supported your arching back.
Massimo couldn't help but peek under his disheveled hair and he nearly gasped at the sight. You were completely full and stretched at the size of his hefty cock. He could see your lower belly bulging a bit as his shaft rested within you. Bianchi was unable to look away, as emasculated as he felt.
A firm slap of his hips and it sent you curling your toes. Hips accommodated further in the single couch as his lips kissed your neck, canines grazing at your sensitive skin.
"So fucking tight f'me" He plunged you deeper, finally letting your walls meld to his size to then begin his slow thrusting. As much as he was dying to raw you silly, he had enough self control to be careful and not ruin you. That would come later.
It had been a long long time since he actually enjoyed having this kind of revenge. His eyes gave a quick glance to his beaten enemy and smirked in satisfaction when he noticed the bulge in between his imitation pants. Your hands fisted behind you, letting him to stretch you completely.
Your hips gave a soft rut, snapping his attention back to you, surprised you'd seek more of him.
His hands pushed your hips down onto him and your breast bounced. His eyes stalked yours, to assert his control, but you gave in so easily. Months of being untouched had made you a needy and sodden mess.
You were tired of your toys, and now that you had the real deal, it felt too good to let it slip. Things with your husband were surely done for anyways as fucked up as the situation was.
He'd probably be killed either way.
"Eyes on me, cariño" And just then, a sinful symphony of wet and merciless thrust fell upon you. Everytime he slid in made your pussy drool at his punishment. You cooed and stared at him with such a lovely and needy expression Miguel engraved in his mind.
Tears bit at the corner of your eyes as they drooped, taking your mind in this continuous trance of being torn between getting absolutely fucked out and coherent enough to give him a vocal reply like a moan or a praise and apologies to your voyeur.
"Cara mía, Don't do this to me" Bianchi shook his head in denial, but that only enticed Miguel to make it rougher.
Shy moans turned into shameless mewls and implorings that enticed him to ruin you at his contempt. The con man wished to cover his ears, but it was too delicious and forbidden to not indulge. Unavoidable too. Your pleas turned into lewd wailings and howlings. The tears and mascara long caked and dried on your cheeks.
Despite three years deep in marriage your husband would never care enough to leave you satisfied. It was everything about him, not really minding if you finished yourself by whatever means you found or thought right.
But this, this was pure torture. Sure, he didn't do anything to please you, but the thought of you being with another man always made him kick enough with the right amount of jealousy that would keep you satisfied for at least a couple of months while he kept ruining lives.
The slaps and Miguel's grunts turned desperate.
"Just like that! Yes!" You sobbed as his sac slapped against your clit, serving a good amount of punishment to your sensitive nub of nerves.
Your skin shook, breast bounced as you squirmed and twitched in absolute enjoyment.
"Like that, princesa?"
You nodded in between blown breaths, the pressure coiled tightly in the pit of your stomach. Menacing to snap at any second.
The sex and his Oud Wood by Tom Ford undertoned sweat made a puddle of your mind. Mouth gaped and shallow breaths came clenching through gritted teeth but he stopped just when you were about to greet God to release your hands from the back.
He pushed you on the floor on all your trembling fours, wool pants discarded completely, just as his CK briefs. Everything of him exuded with luxury. Even his rutting felt like an exotic meal you've tasted for the first time and you'd never go back to settle for anything less delicious and mind blowing than this.
But poor Massimo Bianchi was a reminder of your golden band that was wrapped around your ring finger.
Miguel's hand held tightly around the base of your neck, both hands melded at the size of your frail joint. both his feet planted on each side of you, caging you between his hips, and he sheathed once more in your already puffed and beaten pussy, making you yelp at the fullness and depth.
"Miguel!" You cried as your hands held on your husband's crossed legs. Your body lurched forward, meeting his cock in a merciless pace it had you bubbling like a total fool.
"I'm... Im sorry" A choked whimper, "Oh god, I'm so sorry Massi" Your mouth mumbled before Miguel squeezed your neck to keep you from apologizing to him, choking words in your gaping mouth.
He didn't deserve your regret, he deserved nothing. He wouldn't give him that much satisfaction.
"But it feels so good!"
You rasped and Miguel smiled darkly.
"Why don't you give him a farewell kiss, cariño?"
You shook your head and he frowned.
"No? Should I stop then?"
A whimper. Eyes twinkled in amusement as you reached for your husband and forced a kiss on him while El Diablo plowed remorselessly into you.
Bianchi could only whimper in pain as you bit his busted lip and kissed him, with a rough motion Miguel pulled you away from him. Your head far too gone into a place only he could reach. His panting and mumblings had turned borderline animalistic. He had praised you through it all and you were more than willing to comply.
Your body went taut, spent walls milked and creamed him as he cradled you against his torso. Body convulsed in bliss as he spilled his hot, sticky and big load inside your spasming walls. He laughed at your husband and at your dumb-bitch gone look.
He gave you a deep smooch before laying you on the couch. He slicked his hair back and caught his breath for a couple of minutes to then put on back his boxers. His eyes darted to an expectant Massimo.
Eyes wide. Still deciding between feeling horrified and happy for having such a twisted fantasy come true. A sick fuck through and through.
"I expect my payment within a month. More than enough time for you to collect what you owe me, Max."
Miguel purposely butchered his name as he threw his thousand dollars shirt you way.
"Put that on. We're taking a ride."
----
His men had escorted you back to his car. An armored black Bulletproof Lincoln Navigator SUV. House slippers was the only thing he had allowed you to get on your feet. The cold seemed to not affect his naked torso as he waltzed out your now wrecked home.
The cologne in his shirt stronger, as it covered your naked body from prying eyes.
"Get inside"
"N-No"
Miguel's nostrils flared in anger, despite the dazing and scrumptious raw fucking he put you through some moments ago, you knew he was a dangerous man.
"Why wouldn't you just-"
"-Ta madre, que entres al puto carro, mujer!" (Fucking shit, get into the fucking car, woman!)
His booming voice made you still with a frown. His temper switching surely made you confused. Tears welled up in your eyes, and seeing the sluggishness you took to get in, made him drag you inside himself, and sat beside you and sighed.
His sour mood was thanks to one of his men, Peter. He had the most awful timing to deliver news. One of his younger recruits had been shot. Not fatally shot, but surely would cost him a great chunk of money. Bribing judges to prevent him from sending him to prison, and medics through thirds would take some resources he was planning to use in another mission.
Miles G. Morales.
The name made his patience even shorter, and it didn't helped you were sniffling as your hands rubbed your ring despite the sore wrists.
After all he did to you you still thought about that cheating cuck?
No. He wouldn't allow it. Not when he has already found a perfect use for you.
As the ride begun he pulled up the middle window, blocking his sight from Ben as he drove. He made a couple of calls, you were recoiling away from him at every chance he tried to wipe your tears. Reject was something he was used to, that didn't mean it set right in his heart. And it showed as he unzipped his pants and pulled out his cock once more.
The calls ended and he tossed the phone back to the inner pocket of his suit and pulled out his gun to rest it on your temple.
Your eyes widened as he spoke.
"Clean it."
Fear clung to you as a new wave of tears rolled down your cheeks. But your mouth beat you to voice your true desires.
"No."
His brow quirked and smiled darkly once more. He grabbed your hair and pulled you down on your knees before him. Legs still recovered from the previous cucking session, not that he cared anyways. The SUV cabin was spacious enough for him to pull the stunt.
"Funny you think you have a saying, cariño. Now be a good girl and clean my fucking cock. You made a mess out it."
The gun was pressed further, the click of his safety removal made you gulp.
Was this the life that you'd get from now on? It couldn't be. Part of your brain refused to acknowledge him as your owner, but the other part was terrified and intrigued to see how all of this would unfold for you. You won't make things easy for him as he was already making it a living hell for you.
You mouth begun to work him as he pulled another cigarette and blew the smoke in your direction.
The Devil seemed pleased. For now.
4K notes · View notes
milkykotek · 2 months
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success story: celebrity crush turned boyfriend
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First off, I'm aware people may not believe me. However, that's completely fine! I simply don't care, because it happened, and I wanted to share. I will not be sharing explicit details due to privacy reasons for both me and my boyfriend, especially since he is a popular actor.
It took me a few weeks because I didn't want to jump into dating immediately. However, you can immediately manifest anything and quantum jump! I chose to do it step by step.
"Dp" is a term used in the LOA (Law of Affirmation, Assumption and/or Attraction) community to describe your desired person. It can be anyone. 3D is the 3d dimension, the world you see in front of you. 4D is your thoughts and the reality where everything you want is accomplished.
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It happened, but... what did?
I manifested my celebrity crush! I've been interested in him for some time now (due to personal reasons me and my now ex boyfriend – whom I manifested, too – have broken up). It was quite a wild ride, to be completely honest, and as always, I turned out successful!
There seems to be a blockage many face while manifesting celebrities, or otherwise famous/popular people. They're putting them on a pedestal, and so shifting the focus from actually manifesting to idolizing them. Of course, if you're manifesting a celebrity sp, you're most likely a fan of them already – that's not the point.
You're god, you're on top of the universe, you're the most important person there is. I don't care, and neither should you, about your circumstances. They're nothing but that – a circumstance in the 3D. As we all know, the 3D reflects our beliefs, assumptions, and the things we attract by engaging them. We engage them by giving them attention and reacting. An example can be someone giving you a dirty look – "Oh my god, they hate me!," you could think, and that is your assumption. You're not sure if they were even looking at you, because they could've been looking behind you, or simply have a resting b*tch face. And so, you thinking they frowned at you is an assumption. It's quite easy to create one.
And it's also easy to change that! The LOA (Law of Attraction, Assumption and/or Affirmation) community likes to overcomplicate manifesting by claiming it is hard to change your beliefs. It really is not. Every time you encounter a negative thought (thoughts create assumptions, assumptions show up in the 3D), simply change it. It's as easy as it seems. "I feel so sad", you can change that by saying, "I'm so happy and relaxed". Don't accept things you don't want to experience. Something happened that upset you? No, it didn't. Instead of dwelling on it, ignore it or affirm "It never happened", create a new story, "(something else) happened".
how did you manifest a celebrity dp?
You manifest a celebrity just like you manifest anyone else. They're human, and I don't believe in free will – anything I don't want, I change. It may sound weird, but is there even such thing as normal when it comes to manifesting and all the possibilities the universe offers?
The only thing you must do is take them off the pedestal and regain your power and control. It's not about them – it's about you. They're the obsessed one, they're the one manifesting you, you're on their mind.
If you're searching for a recipe, there is none. However, I can share a few ingredients – things that helped me:
— affirming. Affirming is nothing more than repeating what you want to happen, ex. "My dp loves me."
— persisting. You really don't want to give up until you see results. Of course, it doesn't mean you have to manifest 24/7, but then again, we think all the time, and so we manifest all the time, too.
— living in the end. Living in the end is living as if you already had your desire. How would you feel? How would you act, what would you do? Surely you wouldn't be stressing over results and whatever it is you're manifesting, because you'd already have it. Belief isn't necessary as long as you affirm and persist, but it sure does help.
— having someone to talk to. Having someone you can talk to about your manifestation journey and being supported was really important to me. I want to thank my best friends Star and Aurora, for always supporting and believing in me ❤️. Others would've called me delusional but you guys stood by my side.
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proof:
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Just breathe. For this part, I wanted to share some affirmations I used.
"Everything I want is mine. Everything I want, I get. I want it, I've got it. I'm a master manifestor. I always manifest whatever I desire and want."
"My dp (insert their name) loves me. My dp wants me. My dp is obsessed with me. My dp constantly texts me. My dp is texting me right now. My dp misses me. I am constantly on my dp's mind. My dp is constantly thinking about me. My dp is my boyfriend (or girlfriend, partner, anything you desire). I am my dp's best friend and soulmate."
Good luck ❤️. 222
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mrsparrasblog · 28 days
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POLY 141 reaction to when they are the biological father
poly 141 with pregnant reader if they are not the Dad
Price: He never thought he would be the dad. The doctors told him many years ago that he would never be able to have kids, so when you got pregnant, he was there for you but knew he would never be the biological father, and he was okay with it. When the baby was born and was hairy as a bear and had a dot on his nose just like John, he didn't believe it. He didn't want to raise his hopes. "It is Soap's, definitely." After a week, the paternity test came back, stating he is the father. John couldn't stop crying; he was the biological dad despite all the odds. He was the happiest man on earth.
Kyle: He held your hand while you gave birth, so concentrated on you that he didn't even look at the boy when he came out. When the nurse placed his boy on your chest with the remark "prettiest baby they have ever seen," he looked at the boy who looked like an exact copy of him, with beautiful amber eyes, his skin color, and already forming a charming smirk. It was over. "Just a pretty boy like his dad." The baby turned out to be like Kyle, and you were so proud of him. Gaz was such a wonderful father, treating every one of your kids, whether it's Simons, Johnnys, or Johns, as his own.
Soap: He knew it from the beginning. MacTavish genes are so strong, so he was always sure he was the dad. To cut him some slack, you and he had the most biological children together, three copies of Johnny, who made you rethink all of your life choices. It was a bad birth since the baby weighed already 10 pounds, a typical MacTavish baby. He started to cry when he saw the striking blue eyes. "You did such a good job, Bonnie, gave me a perfect bairn," he kissed you and the baby all over, apologizing to you about the birth, and overall became the perfect dad. And all the kids loved him, whether biological or not, so bad that you had four boys with mohawks all the time.
Ghost: He was more afraid to be the father than anything else. "What if I turn out just like my dad?" He didn't. He was one of the best dads you could ever imagine. When he looked the first time at the girl, he was 100% sure it was his. Blonde hair, pale skin, and already way too big, it was a Riley. He always held the baby on his bare chest, a thing he learned in all the books he read. Skin-to-skin is so important. He became the international best girl dad. This bulky man wore her pink backpack, made tea parties with your daughter, and overall was smitten. He loved all your children equally, but still, his little girl was his world.
Author's Note: All of them treat the children equally, whether they're biological or not, but it's still somehow something so deep for them when they see their mini-mes. You, on the other hand, are pissed how none of the children turn out to look like you despite being in labor for hours. "Not fair." "No more sex." "Go away, Johnny, with your fertile genes." "Mhm, Kyle and John can stay."
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