#the thing is too is mel would feel bad for making cass upset

[highlifeboat]

ok going back to old post about how cass is the one who originally wanted kids... angst for her. she wants kids but knows melon doesnt and that with her anger issues she's aware she shouldnt raise kids anyway.

Imagine, too, like she's excited about the idea because.... yeah, she thinks kids would be fun or something and being an aunt kind of has her brooding or whatever. And she just sort of assumes Mel feels the same way in the moment because she's really good with interacting with Fane when he's really little.

So she just brings up the idea during casual conversation one night, kind of expecting a yes, but Melon just kind of gives this look. She's clearly wanting to say no, but she doesn't have to for Cass to understand that. The ears dip down and obviously Cass is going to ask why, and Mel has to give a whole explanation of "Children are scary, and loud, and being a parent is so much responsibility, not to mention stressful. Between that, sleep deprivation, the idea of changing a diaper just in general, I don't think we can handle that." (And truthfully, she'd been under the assumption Cassandra didn't want kids anyway.)

And Cass has to admit she's a bit offended. Maybe a little mad, and they end up having a little back and forth about it. Not quite a full fight, but like Cass trying to get Mel to consider it more at the least, but Mel just keeps going "No, it would be too much for us."

And Cass "You won't even think about it!"

Eventually Melony gets tired of it, sighs, and says that she's made her choice. She's happy to be an aunt, she can handle looking after a kid for an hour or two, but actually being a parent is a terrifying thought, and she honestly doesn't think either of them are equipped for it. Or at the very least she knows she isn't.

And part of Cassandra knows Melony is right, but she's still kind of genuinely upset. So her only reply is "Fine." and maybe some mumbled hollow insult Melony chooses to ignore.

[noexit-ff]

47. Part 3

Staring at myself in the long mirror in my walk in closet, wearing an elegant soft pink mini dress, stitching detail down the sides and a modest neckline because I had to keep it modest for my son’ Christening. Moving to the side and staring at the side of me, my booty is popping in this dress, thank you Chanel “are you done staring at yourself? You look bomb, I mean I would have preferred more skin but I don’t think god would like that” Yusef did chose the dress and my boobs were popping but I need to act like a mother “but do I look good like this?” everyone rushed into the walk in closet “y’all” I sighed out saying “I said to wait downstairs, you making me shy now” I wanted to show them when I got downstairs “you look so beautiful, makes me so emotional how you always thinking about I am a mother now. I miss hoe Rihanna” waving Jen off “please, I am still that but on my day off from being a mother” I giggled to myself “look at my family, looking beautiful as fuck. We are on time right? I need to get Junior dressed while he’s asleep, that way he doesn’t fight me” walking by my family “awww look Milo, he is wearing a suit” I gasped “you giving me smiles too, god he is so adorable” touching his cheek “Majesty baby, thank you for watching Junior. You can stop now” she is being mother to him “my baby” she said slowly stroking his face “since when? Go back to your dolls girl” I am glad Junior slept and didn’t wake up, gave me a chance to get ready. Chris left to shave but his barber comes here so I don’t know where he has gone, he could have got Junior dressed for me but I did tell him to go but it’s fine, I am sure he will be back soon.

Closing the car door behind me “here you go nigga” Fresh held the white roses out to me “thank you, don’t we all look clean as fuck today” I thought I would pick up the boys while I was out, I got dressed at Mijo’ place and have now come back “you know what, I need y’all to watch out for me. Any shit coming our way let me know, something always goes wrong” that is just my luck “look at you cass, wearing a suit” I patted his back “special occasion today” walking towards the door, Rich is also here but I wonder where Frank is. The home is so busy but I told the godparents and their family and also friends to meet us at the church, I didn’t want everyone here because it would be so hectic “awww look at you Christopher, you look like you are ready to take my daughter down the aisle again” Monica gushed, licking my lips laughing “I can clean up when I need too, is Robyn upstairs still?” I hope she is, I hate that she is upset with me. I am going to have to try my best and make it up to her, I got white roses for her because it will match and yeah, I just hope she can forgive me “yes she is upstairs, getting my grandbaby dressed. She told everyone to wait downstairs” I am glad she is upstairs still “ok” glaring at Mel as she walked down the stairs with Milo, can she just move out of the way so I can go upstairs.

I hate wearing these shoes, they hurting my damn feet and I feel like wearing some sneakers now. Sighing out, I hope Robyn doesn’t hate me and we can just make it up, I am stupid and I get it. I don’t mean it, I ain’t a bad nigga. I just can’t deal with fake people, that is not me and I can never just be normal with them. Pushing open the bedroom door “all done now, please don’t be sick on this suit” tilting my head to the side, Robyn’ ass looks so good in that dress. I whistled as I closed the door behind me, Robyn was quick to look behind her in shock but then realised it is just me “you look beautiful, you really do. I mean you always do but wow, I love it” Robyn didn’t really say anything and went back to dressing Maurice, I need to get to Robyn, I know I can break her down “you look nice yourself, I am glad you tidied up the face” I grinned “so you fancy me?” standing just behind Robyn, watching her pick up Maurice and turned around to me “not exactly, I just simply said you look nice. I didn’t say handsome” she playing, holding the white roses in front of me “for you, I don’t want to have no hard feelings today. My behaviour has been a little wack, I have been thinking of myself and what I want to do and not thinking of you. I am sorry” Robyn took the roses from me “there is no hard feelings” Robyn said before walking off, Robyn looks so good. My woman is walking in heels, holding Maurice and then the roses. She is so bad, I want her to be so rough to me in bed “you haven’t complimented our son” she placed the roses down on the vanity table, I am so lost with Robyn “uhhh well I mean his mother has got me all tongue tied, he always looks good. I mean come on, he is half of me” Robyn licked her top lip laughing “right, we need to thank Chanel for his outfit. Look at it, it is a perfect fit and everything. Take him” she said to me, I didn’t even have to think twice before taking him.

I am more interested in how Robyn got her ass in that dress “did Chanel make your dress and his suit?” I asked, Robyn picked up Maurice’ changing bag “yes, Chanel did well. I thought they may have made it too big for him but no, look at him” nodding my head “I am looking at her” Robyn side eyed “I did read what my dad said, if you didn’t know already. And if you didn’t know already Rorrey also wrote a little post on Instagram, nothing worthy of reading anyways. I just want today to go well, for us and for him. And I am a little late on my period, doesn’t mean much but you never know” that is a lot of information “I also want today to go well, I get what I did was wrong. When I am in that moment I don’t think but I don’t want us to fall out, I don’t want you to hate me either” Robyn reached up fixing Maurice’ bowtie “I don’t hate you, if I actually hated you I wouldn’t always try and cover things up. Its just getting to me, I rode for you during that shit with Sinko. I could have kicked off and walked off, he was in the house, with us on events but I tolerated it and waited until you saw it for yourself. My family is not perfect but I married you, they accepted and make the effort now. I just want you to see your wrongs is hurting me, when Junior grows up and we are going to Barbados or any event with my family around and he asks why is my dad not coming, am I supposed to say he doesn’t like them. Just like you need me, I also need you. Just let’s get this done and then we can just relax” I swallowed hard, she is not wrong because my son will grow up and he will see it “but you’re going, what about the missing period? I mean the late one?” Robyn shrugged “I don’t know, see what happens. The only first sign I have seen” Robyn kissed my cheek “let’s go down” I guess she is still going of course “so you forgive me?” I need to know “not exactly, I am still pissed off but you know what Chris. I can’t be angry because today is about our son, one day you will learn the way” so she is still not happy with me.

Robyn held out Maurice’ pacifier to me “keep him quiet, he has been fed so he should be ok but you never know. His demanding self” placing the pacifier in his mouth “it’s that Brown gene, we like to be fed lots. Growing boys, tell her son” Maurice stared at me in awe and smiled at me, his pacifier falling out but I caught it “what was that for? You ain’t finna smile soon, not when they put some holy water on you” Maurice opened his mouth and breathed out gurgling “I think it’s really romantic how he is looking at me” I said to Robyn “romantic? You’re weird but he is very loving now, he loves when you talk to him. He gets so happy, ok let’s go down now” letting out on oh “you showing me love? Well I love you more, our audience awaits” placing the pacifier back in his mouth as I walked behind Robyn, I don’t mind walking behind Robyn because her booty is looking so good. Walking down the steps side by side with Robyn, I didn’t think we would have had an audience but it looks like people was awaiting on us to come down “awww oh my god, you both look so beautiful” Robyn’ friend said, my smile soon changed seeing my dad, his wife and his kids in my home.

Robyn grabbed my free hand and pulled me along with her “mommy, can you tell everyone to start getting in the cars and go, please Frank gather the people out. Tell them all to start leaving so we can lock up the home” Robyn didn’t let go of my hand as she made her way to the kitchen “god girl, leave him alone” Jen said walking by us “whatever bitch, wait behind for us. You are coming with us!” Robyn spat, I knew something like that would have happened. On my son’ day my dad really flew out here to upset me, I don’t fuck with them like that. My dad looks so ill though, I am so annoyed already “well you didn’t tell me that?” Robyn turned around saying, placing the changing bag on the side “but I didn’t know, I knew my dad was coming. My mom was picking him up but I didn’t know this, you know I don’t fuck with them like that. I like to keep my family shit private, he bought them bastards in my home. I am so angry right now, they don’t belong Robyn. I am throwing them out, fuck them. This is my family day” shaking my head rubbing my eyes “you can’t do that, Chris this is going to be hard but we just have to get on with it. Remember when I said slap on a smile, you need to do it. Nothing can ruin today, I am here for you like always” them kids really here in my home, I am about to blow.

Car seats are such a pain, I hate them “you got Jen with you son, lucky you” moving back closing the Rolls Royce door “boss, we will be in the Range behind you” Cass said, nodding my head dapping him “my son is looking so handsome, you know what Chris. You should be so happy and proud, you have one beautiful family” my mom gushed, she has come to me at the wrong time “you lied to me mom, you told me dad was coming on his own and he came with his family. I hate his family” Robyn touched my arm “I didn’t lie to you baby, they are your siblings” she is making me so angry “you are so stupid, fuck. The guy left you, he left me and he is there for her” why is my mom such a fool “Christopher, come on now. Let’s drive please” Robyn opened the car door behind me “please, not now. Auntie everything is fine, you can go” Robyn said to her auntie, turning around and getting into my car.

I need to calm down, I can’t let it get to me. Not on this day “Chris, you may not want to hear it but I think you are doing so well. Don’t let one person ruin today, you all look so good today” Jen said in the back “thanks, I am trying Jen. I don’t know how many times I can tell my so called dad I don’t want to know, I would never do what he done, I am better than him” I just need to stay away from my dad and that white bitch “and you are Chris” Robyn said “you said I was never there for Maurice though?” I ain’t forget “I said it out of anger Chris, come on. If you was a bad father I wouldn’t stay with you, I wouldn’t want that for my child. Let me be angry with you sometimes, just don’t argue with anyone Chris. You are better than that, all eyes are always on us. We already have two people that wish shit on us, my own flesh and blood but we don’t need anything going wrong” nodding my head “I got you, I am going to make you proud” I am going to keep my cool.

Shaking the Pastors hand “where is Chris Brown Junior?” he said “hopefully awake in the car” Jen is getting him out of the car, the paparazzi have figured out where we are having this “everyone is waiting for you” Jen got Maurice out, he squinted his eyes because of the sun “there he is, may I” the Pastor pointed at Maurice, stepping back “of course” the pastor held Maurice, I hope he is ok with him. Robyn stood at the side of me “the place is decorated so nicely” Robyn looks impressed “I am glad I drove slow, it made everyone go inside” the pastor passed me my son “welcome, come in” The pastor gestured for us to go in, Cass is trying to rush us into the building now because of the people “I was thinking, we could be parents again. Doesn’t that make you nervous?” I questioned Robyn, walking up the steps “I feel at ease, I was panicking more because we was having so much sex but nothing was happening. I just feel like time is not on my side, I don’t know. It could be nothing but either way, gold blessed us with our little man” walking into the church, I am actually taken aback by the turn out “wow, these people are all here for you” I didn’t think we invited that many people. Finally reaching the front and hugging Trey “look at my godson, wearing Chanel already” Trey said taking him from me “nephew, glad you could make it” hugging Snoop “you know how it is, I am here now” sitting down next to Robyn and the godparents.

I couldn’t help but lowkey laugh at Maurice crying because of the holy water, rubbing the side of my face trying not to laugh. Looking over everyone and seeing my sister, she shook her head at me. She knows me “I baptise you in the name of the Father, Son and of the Holy Spirit, Amen” the pastor said, Maurice is not happy at all he is crying out. Robyn took Maurice from the pastor, my poor son is not here for the pastor at all. Robyn was quick to put the pacifier in his mouth to calm him down, Maurice’ face is all red now as Robyn rocked him to calm down “welcome to the house of god” shuffling closer to Robyn as Dennis took pictures of us with the godparents, catching my dad staring over at us and he smiled at me but I looked away because I don’t want to know.

I am so glad that is done with, now we can not do a family event for a while. I just need to get over the party, the place where we are having the party is around the block. We wanted to keep it close, I am just waiting for Robyn to come out so I was quick to come out and have a cigarette as people left the church to make their way to the place where we are having the party “that was beautiful bro, the prayers and hymns. Loved it” Lo complimented “thank you, part one done. Next is part two” flicking my cigarette as Robyn made her way to the car “I’ll sit in the back, I want to feed him” Robyn said, opening the back door for her to get in “I guess you’re my bonnie, sitting in the front with me” I winked at Jen “if only winking gets you pregnant” I busted out laughing shutting the door “is it true that you have Kendrick performing? At a christening party?” nodding my head “why not? This is adult turn up time, forget everything else” Kendrick wanted to come out and perform, I don’t mind it. Maurice party is lit and my son doesn’t even know it.

Parking outside the place, the valet guy rushed over to us opening the car door for me “thank you” getting out of the car. Rich opened the door for Robyn “you want me to take him?” I asked, Robyn held Maurice out to me “Rich bring his car seat with you, he is going to fall asleep any moment now. We can just put him in there” smiling at Maurice “you just like me, I hate people at times. I know that upset you and ruined your mood” he is not happy about the water still “he gets the stubborn part from you” Robyn said, I smiled feeling ever so proud of that title “you both do know how to take your time, the guests are sat down” Frank said “that is because she was feeding him in the back seat so I drove around” pulling Maurice’ shirt down as we walked into the place “did you do this?” I pointed up “Robyn and I worked hard for this, we did it all” Jen said, Robyn did really work hard for it. I really didn’t help at all, I just kept saying no to everything. Frank and Cass opened the double doors for us, the huge dining hall with a stage set at the back. The place themed in cream and blue, each table accompanied with balloons. My smile grew seeing Maurice’ cake and pictures of him surrounding the display “Chris Junior Christening” I read aloud as we walked down the red carpet that lead down the rows of tables “You king!” Diddy half shouted stepping in front of us “he don’t remember me performing for him, I know you heard my voice. Beautiful set up” he dapped me, let me continue to walk.

Maurice has so many gifts in the corner “I can’t wait to spend so much time with my godson Chris, you need to bring him to uncle Snoop’ place. I got him a little gift, something he can keep forever. Thank you for the blessing you gave me Chris, he is a very blessed child. He has us three to protect him” taking the box from Snoop “you ain’t need to buy him anything, people been coming out with gifts. He is too spoilt” opening the box and seeing the diamond encrusted cross “that is so dope, he will wear this when he grows up a little more” getting up from my seat “thank you” hugging Snoop “anything for you nephew and Rihanna, I love you both so much” Snoop walked around me to hug Robyn, catching one of my dad’ kid stood staring at me “Cass” I waved him over “move the kid away from this table” Cass nodded his head and moved to him, I don’t give a fuck. I ain’t their brother, I ain’t shit to them. Sitting back down in the seat “what did you do?” Robyn asked, watching Cass walk the child back to where he came from and my dad was quick to get up to see why “you really had too” Robyn said sighing out, here comes my dad. Cass is walking right behind him “that is my son so I can walk to where I want!” my dad half shouted, I need a reason to kick his ass out “he is a child that wants to know his brother, you are evil. You are all my kids, stop pushing us away” my dad is talking to the wrong guy “why ain’t you dead yet bruh? Why are you here?” looking over at my dad “when I am dead don’t come to my funeral!” he pointed, I snorted laughing “who else going to bury you? You think trailer trash going to do it huh? Now you either sit your ass down or get kicked out” Robyn hit my leg “Mr Brown please sit down” Robyn is being nice to him for what.

Luckily nobody is really paying attention because of the food “stop being harsh” Robyn said “harsh? He ain’t do shit for me but he can do shit for them, be a father to them. Nah” shaking my head “let’s just forget him and enjoy the party” smiling watching Lionel making his way over to us “I got you a special seat” pulling the chair back “why are you sitting down there for?” Lionel sat down “get some Whiskey for this man” I shouted out at the server “I couldn’t help but notice the trouble with your dad, I started making my way here a while ago. Slow walker I say” nodding my head laughing “it’s a shame both fathers are no example, but you know what Chris. The party must go on, I got a tear in my eye just watching my great grandchild, the praises of god just for him. I loved it here, you not coming to Barbados? We can continue the celebration?” shaking my head “not this time” looking over at Robyn, her still being annoyed with me still gets to me but I have a lot of making up to do.

[noexit-ff]

30. part 2

Robyn is crazy, sending me the picture. She looks so perfect pregnant, she needs to accept it. I can’t wait to show off Robyn pregnant, I was going to set it as my lock screen picture but I don’t want nobody seeing my wife’ body. Smiling wide looking down at he picture again, I am in love with Robyn so much. Locking my phone as I got to the lobby, the elevator doors opened. Stepping off the elevator, my team are waiting for me “finally” Ant said, little does he know I was busy with my dick “I was talking to my wife, my bad. We ain’t even late, you look tired Yinka. My friends tiring you out?” I said as I laughed looking at Sinko “no, I mean they are something else. I feel a little high still” I knew it, the weed got to her “welcome to the team” I said pointing at the camera “I am playing, it’s not all about getting high. They smoke it more than me, I just be in my own corner” licking my lips looking away “Lo been trying his luck” Sinko whispered to me “for real?” taking my snapback off my head “she declined him in the nicest way possible, it was so polite” busting out laughing “come here” Ant waved me over “yes boss man” dapping him “try and not get too drunk, we need to fly out to Miami tonight” nodding my head “I won’t, you know how the free drinks are” dragging my eyes away from Ant, Yinka changed her clothes. She is wearing a tight skirt, that was quick. Ant looked at where I was looking at “she ain’t wear that with Rihanna, you wife would have smacked her all the way back to London” nodding my head in agreement “she playing with fire but I ain’t playing, single Chris would but she late on that” I shrugged.

Rubbing my chin letting Yinka get into the SUV first but that wasn’t the best decision, she eventually pulled down her skirt. Looking behind me all wide eyed “black thong, I saw it” Sinko spat, that was all in my face. I am questioning her intentions because she has really switched up her look “you want to to get in before me?” I said to the dude with the camera “actually, have you been recording everything?” I asked, I am holding up everyone “yes, I will edit things out and show you first” letting out an oh “you can go in next” I think I want to sit away from her, she has bad intentions and I feel it. She only wanted to hang with me, I know it. She is using this interview shit as a cover up, getting into the SUV. Sitting next to the window, I wasn’t about to sit in the back. Ant bought his head closer to me “that chick is bad, I mean in the way of doing what she is doing. She goes to Lo, you’re not my type. Lo goes who is then? Light skin niggas with tattoos? She goes maybe and smiled, Sinko says what about married men? Nigga, her face dropped but then quickly said, I don’t find them attractive, bullshit right?” shaking my head “she can flash whatever she want with me, I got a wife. I am happy, unless she finna drug me. I ain’t doing shit” it takes two to cheat, but I ain’t with it.

Sipping my water after finishing preforming my album in Drais nightclub, now I can just do my own thing in the place “that was so amazing” Yinka said to me “thank you, is this the first time you seeing me perform?” placing my water down “my second but I get amazed every time I see you” Ant waved me over “Rihanna is so lucky to have you” brushing by Yinka, ignoring what she is saying to me. I think the free drinks are getting to her, feeling her hand touch mine but I am glad Ant called me away. He placed his arms around me “getting you out that” he said in my ear, looking at him “appreciate it, we go to VIP now?” seeing Cass and Frank waiting to walk me “dope show bro, your album is amazing” the DJ shouted at me with his hand out, shaking his hand “thank you” walking down off the stage, I loving that the album is doing so well.

Taking my hoodie off, I am getting hot in this club. Catching Ferg waving at me from across VIP, nodding my head at him. This place is packed today, throwing my hoodie on the couch behind me. It fell on one of the girls lap, I don’t know who these females are, they came with the boys. She just moved it to the side, that was my bad. Turning back around to face the crowd, seeing the bottle service girls coming over to us with bottles upon bottles. I won’t be drinking, not as much “lets give it up for badgalriri” my ears perked up, is she here “it’s only right we put on some Rihanna” that DJ got me there, I thought she was here. The DJ played Pour It up, looking to the side of me seeing Yinka walk towards me. Rubbing the top of my head, lowering my head down “will the club let us video here?” she said in my ear, her hand on my arm. Nodding my head moving away from Yinka “Strip clubs and dollar bills” I sang along to Robyn’ song.

I listened to Ant, I didn’t drink. I mean I had a glass but I am here in the lobby ready to leave for the Jet, I am the only nigga waiting here. If they all drunk and asleep I am leaving by myself. I am trying to ditch Yinka, I know her ass is wondering where I am. I think she is still at the club anyways, sitting down in the lobby. Looking down at my phone, I did text Robyn just to tell her that I am done and going to Miami like I promised “imagine seeing you here” looking up from my phone “I could say the same to you Jessica, I saw you in the crowd” locking my phone “didn’t think you would be here without your wife, Vegas of all places” placing my phone in my pocket “I am leaving, just waiting for my manager” she made her way to the seating area “I don’t bite, I mean you should know that” she sat next to me “Rihanna actually trusts you? That’s cute” where is Ant when I need him “why are you here? Sat with me? I told you to fuck off, I used you but you’re back still. You knew I would be here, it’s weird. Stalkerish shit Jessica” she is very into me “because I do feel like if Rihanna didn’t want you back, I would have been the one. You liked me more than you like to say” rubbing my face “you fine as hell, I liked you but I didn’t love you aight? Let’s get that straight” I said half laughing turning my face to her, Jessica kissed my lips out of nowhere. Pushing Jessica back, jumping up off the couch “the fuck you doing!? Why did you do that!?” I shouted, wiping my lips “what is wrong with you bitches, fuck! Leave me alone” wiping my lips vigorously.

I keep wiping my lips, she kissed me out of nowhere. I knew she was too close to me, what if she set me up “what happened?” Ant asked me, looking around me. The boys are talking amongst themselves “Jessica came up to me, out of nowhere. You probably won’t believe it, she was talking to me. You came down to the lobby and saw Jess right?” he nodded “well she kissed me out of nowhere, I don’t know where it came from. I don’t know why she did that, I feel set up but I don’t know what to do. I did nothing, I am upset about this man” Ant stared at me all shocked “you had Yinka popping ass in ya face and Jessica doing that, god is testing you. Did you see anyone else there?” shaking my head “it’s not that, hotel have cameras. What if they leak something, if I tell Robyn this she will not hear me out. She is dramatic, I know her” hitting the table with my hand “better to tell Chris” shaking my head, what made that bitch do that to me.

The smell of food is making me gag, maybe it’s because Jen is cooking “can I just have some toast, I don’t want the egg. Bacon is making me gag” my eyes still half closed “ok little miss don’t want no meat” Jen said while looking at Mel “so I woke up half way through the night, one of you hoes were snoring. I am sorry Robz, you was bad” eye-balling Mel “I don’t fucking snore, fuck you. Lying bitch ass” Mel laughed “oh my god, you was. I thought it was Jen but it wasn’t, you had your double chin going on and you was snoring. Mouth wide open, I could fit my whole foot in your mouth. I poked your side and then you shut up” staring at Mel in shock “it’s not a bad thing, I mean you didn’t snore as bad before. It’s just weight gain” she shrugged “wait, was I that bad?” looking at Jen “I said for Mel to not say anything but Mel is Mel, you was snoring for the gods. I suppose you may have a blocked nose” I don’t believe these bitches “Chris would have said something, liars” Chris would, he wouldn’t drop such a thing, he would tease me about it “maybe Chris is being sensitive to you, caring for your feelings?” waving Mel off “he loves you, even if you did he wouldn’t say anything. Look, you have always slept like a dog with your mouth open” touching my chin, I don’t have a double chin “how can you hoes say I look good but I am not? I am confused” I hate being picked on “because you are, we like to tease you. Last time I snored you recorded me, I didn’t do it” Mel pointed, she got a point because I did do that.

Placing my plate in the sink “so Jay Z is in LA and he wants to see you, either he comes here or you meet him” Jen didn’t wait to tell me such news “I said I was going to call, he can wait” waving my hand at her “I don’t want him to come here, I think we should go to him. If you want to hide the pregnancy for longer then you don’t need surprises” placing my hands on the kitchen counter “so what do you suppose I do? Go and say what to him exactly? He knows what the fuck I said” she is right because I don’t want him at my home “fine, I will meet him at Giorgio Baldi” I am not happy about this at all “I will be with you” which is a lie, Jay will just tell her to go “just tell Jay, you’re on a year break. That is what I want. Don’t say anything about the baby, let him find out with the rest. He wants to play dirty then we can too, I think he needs to hear it from you” she got a point, I have been hiding behind Jen and make her do everything.

I am wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt again, I am wearing Chris’ clothes which fit perfectly, getting a little too perfect “you really need to get maternity clothing now, this is not good” Mel said “you should have bought me yours but the clothing exposes the stomach, I mean it’s not bad is it? Can you notice anything?” twirling around “nothing, just looks like the clothing is too big for you. You look so cute though, you shining just as bright as your wedding ring, that shit is beautiful” Mel said “thank you, did you see and read anything about Chris?” my spies better have done their job “nothing boss, he was in the club with the girl you don’t like. He was singing your song, laughing and joking. That is it, I mean there is a picture of her touching his arm and saying something in his ear but it’s harmless” smiling at Jen, she is good to me “can you ring his number for me, I want to say morning to him” fixing my earring in “I will” he even text me like I asked, I need to leave him to it now. He is faithful to me, he is happy so I am also happy.

Running over to Jen, hearing Chris’ voice “morning baby” I said down the phone and taking it off loud speaker “hey” just to hear his voice makes me so happy “everything good with you?” he asked “yeah, just getting ready to see Jay. He wants to see me, that is all though. What about you?” picking my bag up from the side and placing it on my bed “uhm, just going to sleep. I haven’t slept. A little tired, I will call you when I wake up I am just going to go to sleep” letting out an oh “that is fine, get some rest. Love you” I trailed off “love you too” he seems a little off, disconnecting the call “that was short” Jen said, placing my phone in my bag “yeah, he was tired. Maybe we could look at some stores, pretend to buy the things for Mel. We can use Mel and go baby shopping, I am not going to buy, just to check things” I think I will do that after the meet up with Jay.

The last person I wanted to see but I will put my fake smile on and do this “Rihanna, so good to see you” hugging Jay “likewise” I said before moving back, pulling my chair back “we will be ok here Jen” Jay said, see I knew he would do that. Looking behind me at Jen walking off, shuffling the chair in “I got you wine” he pointed, of course he did “thanks but I feel like I want some water” fixing the sweatshirt, I feel like the top went tighter on me “sure” he waved over the waiter “water for Rihanna please” shuffling the chair in more “how is everything with you? Married life has kept you quiet” letting out a light chuckle “well, it’s still fresh. Honeymoon period, I want to spend the most time I can. Things kept us apart for so long but not anymore” Jay didn’t even flinch, he just stared at me “I get it, it’s a beautiful thing. Married and in love, then kids come along” nodding my head in agreement “how is Bey and Blue?” the waiter placed my water down “doing great thank you, they stayed behind. I came here to see you, see where you are at with things. I like to know everyone is happy” picking up the water “Adam seems to be causing some issues” sipping my water, I knew this would come up “he is, but I don’t care” placing the water down “I made mistakes in my life, one of them was listening to other people. I could have been married at twenty, probably on my third child now, but no. We don’t all get what we want, do we? This is one of them, I chose my marriage over money” Jay loves money, this wont go down well “shame your husband is not here to defend such things. Would be nice to catch up with him, he has such wise words. You have been hanging around with him, sounding like him too. You’re not hard done by, you’re letting feelings affect business. That business was going to make millions but instead in the first month you ditched it, you then ditch a tour, you then bring an album out and go missing to get married, and then you let Chris fire Jay Brown. See this pattern here, I always tried to pull you away from that man but you end up back with him, now you’re stuck with Jen, she doesn’t know what to do. You have legal matters with Adam, you have a business that flopped, you owe the record label money. I mean you could pay it all off and still be profitable but I know you Rihanna, you are all about making money” I can’t even look at Jay, I am so angry.

“Was, you’re all about making money off me and that shit didn’t flop I ended it! You’re more upset why I am doing things on my own, I did that the Puma deal without you knowing, I did it with Chris and that annoys you. It’s ok for you to go home and be with your loved ones, what did you want me to do? Be with Adam? I didn’t love the guy, I am the most happiest I have been, let me be. You want me to make money for you? Fine, it’s on my terms. I am not doing anything this year or the next. Remember Jay, I made Roc Nation, you need me. If I leave then I will leave to be with Chris, I will be under him in the bedroom and also in the music business. You can pass on threats then so can I, you called me here to disrespect Chris when he is the same guy that made me work, that told me he would tour for me so you fuckers can have your money back. Why make enemies of me?” I am so angry, Jay put his hands up “I was just pointing out facts” I chuckled “I will point out another fact for you Shawn, I am pregnant with Chris’ baby. The next time you will see me is with a baby, his baby” getting up from the chair “please sit down” Jay said, I don’t want to hear it. I am done and I am walking away from this situation.

I am over it, done and over it. They will never get rid of me, they need me because I make money. They are more upset I am quiet for once, I want to be at home and be a mother and a wife so fuck everyone “did it go that bad?” Jen asked me again “he riled me up and I said, the next time you see me I will be with a baby, his baby” I wasn’t supposed to tell about the baby but he got me angry, I wanted to get back at him “no wonder he looked shook when you got up, I bet he about to run to Bey and tell. Who else can he tell?” I shrugged not caring “seems like a Carter problem, not mine. He was just placing the blame on Chris, acting like shit is bad for me when it’s not. Adam can die, he won’t get nothing out of me. I promise you now Jen we will make money, without Jay. I am doing this without the record label being involved, I am that angry. I am going to make sure it is under Chris” Mel looked at me all wide, I started giggling to myself “I said to Jay as a threat, I will leave the record label and be under Chris in the bedroom and in the music business” laughing to myself “oh Robz, what are you like” Jen said laughing, I am so stupid when angry.

I am not even going to think of the meeting, I will say to Chris though when he is awake. I feel all excited about being in this store, I remember I came here for Majesty but I am here for me, using Mel of course “which bedroom have you both chosen?” Jen said whispering to me “well the bedroom right next to ours, it has it’s own walk in closet and I want that to be done up for the baby. With it’s diapers and everything, I am just needing Chris back. We need to start” I gasped seeing the Gucci slides with a bow “how adorable is this for you Mel” I have just clocked the worker “no bitch” Mel retorted “I aint boujee like you” side eyeing Mel “I want to wait it out, till I know the gender which is soon” I am in love with the clothes already, walking along slowly. I stopped in my tracks seeing a camo BAPE body suit, my smile grew. I can already picture it in my mind. Chris with a son, they would be matching every day. He would get everything, it is something I want to witness with Chris.

[noexit-ff]

31. Part 4

Walking out of the changing rooms, seeing Frank talking to the security that have come and police. Why is life like this for me, I just want a easy life. I done cried about having a easy life and look at this, I have a wife that doesn’t listen and does her own thing. If Jessica wants to press charges then she can and has proof, Robyn is so stupid “fuck” I breathed out “Chris Brown” the officer walked over to me, why me “yes” looking at him “the incident that happened here, the lady that got hit. Look sir, I need take you in” looking at the officer dumbfounded “you what?” I am confused, what is happening “can we just walk out of here without arresting you, the lady is saying you attacked her” my mouth fell open “what!? I ain’t do shit” looking at Robyn “I mean you will see from…” I went silent, with my record who is going to hear me and then on the cameras it shows Robyn and I don’t want that for her “I ain’t-” I paused “you know what take me, I guess you want to question me about the club incident too” Cass rushed over to me “what is happening?” they were after me, I am so over this shit and I don’t want to be arrested for anything “they taking me in, I apparently hit Jessica” Cass looked at me crazy “no, he didn’t do anything I can tell you that” shaking my head “well we are taking the tapes so we will find out, the lady Jessica is saying you hit her in the face after confronting you about sleeping with her” this shit is fucked up “alright, ok. Can we go now?” walking by the officer “we are taking him” the officer said to his colleague “hold up, you ain’t taking him!?” Sinko shouted “fucking drop it, just stop” I don’t need him screaming about anything, I don’t want my wife being in a place like that “no, no, no what is this!? You can’t take him” Robyn rushed ahead of me “it’s me you want, he didn’t do anything” she said to the officer “Robyn, just leave it yeah. Let’s go” walking around Robyn, I don’t know what I am going to do because they will see the footage.

Not a place I wanted to see again, sitting in the interview room but it’s whatever. I don’t want Robyn here and she is pregnant, stupid and pregnant. I am innocent but I am doing this for my wife, I can’t deal with her being here. The door opened, some movement. I have been here for a while now, I am sure it’s been two hours “Chris” the guy walked in with a female “I am Wade, this my colleague Anita. We are looking over the file and have just spoken to Jessica. You’re not under any arrest, we just want to speak on what happened, we are going through the footage now” nodding my head “so what happened?” I shrugged “you will see yourself” I ain’t saying shit “you right, we will but she is saying you attacked her. Something you don’t want on your file now is it?” looking away from them both “you both was together?” I chuckled shaking my head “look, I live a life where I have women come and go. She is one of them, she is obsessed with me, she is following me. Yes we had sex, that was it. She chose to come to my home and have sex with me and now she is wanting more, I am married to my wife and that is who I want” Wade looked at his colleague “so did you get angry when she came up to you and your wife?” Anita asked, shaking my head “I was more scared for my wife, she seems a little unstable mentally. I didn’t do anything” I shrugged saying “then who did” good question, who did.

What have I even done, they need to know it was me. Why did he even walk off with them “you need to go back to the hotel, we are not taking you to the station” Rich said, I refuse to leave this SUV “I hit the bitch, that should be me so why is he there!?” I shouted “because she blamed him and he accepted it, nothing more I can say” Cass said in annoyance “please get out of the SUV” I am not leaving “I will phone the police myself and tell them, I did it. Oh my god, Jen please tell them. I want my husband, I want him now why did he do this!” covering my face with my hands “Rihanna, he won’t want you there. I think he is taking the blame but it won’t work out, they will see who did it” shaking my head “take me there now” I don’t care what they say, I am going “I don’t get why he is taking the blame, I told you to leave it. It is a public place so of course people will see, stubborn ass wouldn’t drop it. You been angry since we left” Mel scolded me “I was angry with Chris but I didn’t want him to do this, oh god” I feel so bad, I am going to that station.

Rushing to the receptionist “my husband, Chris Brown. Where is he!?” I spat, the lady looked at me like I was crazy “ma’am, he is sat right there” she pointed, looking behind me “oh my god Chris” running around the seating area, sitting next to him “are you ok?” kissing his cheek “I am fine, they let me go. She decided to drop the charges quickly, they saw it was you but she doesn’t want to press charges” poking my lips out, my poor baby “I am so sorry Chris, why did you do that? It was me” he licked his lips sighing out “because when you love someone you will do anything for them, if that means taking the blame then so be it. I didn’t want you here, you’re having my child and I don’t want that. I just want to go now” he got up from the seat “I am sorry you know” he walked off “least you’re ok” hearing Mel say, getting up from the seat “you’re stupid” Mel spat “you need Monica to slap some sense into you” I said I am sorry, I just felt like I didn’t want sex and I felt like I wanted an argument, I just be doing this at times. Everyone is angry at me now.

I feel so bad, he took the blame and now he is so quiet with me “you know what, I know it isn’t the time to say things because things are bad but, the news is Rihanna is a free agent which needs to be verified but, I love you Chris but I got an email. I don’t get why people are trying it, Drake said and I quote. I would text Rihanna but she has changed her number, I would love her to be on OVO” Mel snorted laughing, I groaned out “tell him to fuck off, I am not signing with anyone” I don’t want to hear it right now, I have other things going on “tell that Jewish fuck I will break his face, actually Jen put in the message ask her husband” Chris turned in his seat looking at Jen “tell him ask her husband, why are people playing me. I am done” Jen looked at me “put it, say what he said” I mumbled, Chris is not happy and I have added to that. I came to support him but I caused trouble and upset him more, I am not much of a support when I am upsetting him.

I didn’t think Chris would have come back to the room but he is, I am ever so quiet. I am just staying behind him, holding the door in case he just let it close behind him but he didn’t. He held the door open for me, walking around Chris “I am sorry Chris, I don’t want you being angry with me” taking my blazer off “I am not angry, more upset. I don’t give a fuck about what happened, I am used to getting interviewed in stations but when my wife is ranting and raving about our sex life then I got a problem, when you shouting with my friends around you make me look stupid. That fucking gets me angry, I am not a nigga I am your husband so when you speak to me you don’t speak to me like a nigga you are fucking on the low, you give me some respect. They already think you run me, I let you. I adore you, I would do anything for you but at times I don’t know with you. You know what got me, you hit me again why? Why do you hit me, you need to learn some respect” putting my head down “I said I am sorry Chris” Chris walked off “you’re always sorry but you still trying to hit me, I swear Robyn. You don’t deserve me, it’s never the other way around. It’s not what the media believe because they are so blind seeing the sweet angel, they don’t see this. It’s like you want an audience, you thrive on people being around so you can act out. We have the same fucking conversation and you still do it! This is not about sex anymore, it’s about you not respecting me” I flinched when Chris banged the door shut.

I am so sad, I didn’t mean to upset Chris this much. Dragging the door open for Jen “I heard the bang of the door” walking back into the room “I am guessing he is not happy?” shaking my head “he is angry with me, he says I don’t respect him. I don’t deserve him, maybe he is right that I don’t deserve him but I adore him so much. He’s been in the bathroom for so long, I think he is having a shower” I can hear the shower running, it’s been running for so long though “he is very tense, maybe you need to take him away. Take him away from things, just take him away on holiday. Things have been a little rocky, some you and him time” he has the thing with his dad and then me, I am stressing him “you right but he won’t want to know, he says I don’t respect him?” Jen cringed a little “you did hit him in the face and then hit his chest, I even heard about the sex shit” I am such a bad person.

Robyn can have Jen to keep her warm, seeing as the friends are always together and shit. Clasping my Rolex around my wrist, I am going out and I don’t know where yet but it will be somewhere local, might see my stalker though. Turning around walking out of the bathroom “shit” turning back into the bathroom, gathering my clothes up from the floor. Seeing as my wife is rude as fuck and don’t respect shit I will clean my own clothes, walking out of the bathroom “Drake replied Chris” Jen said, throwing my clothes at the side of the cases “he did” opening my jewellery box “he said, that is a no then. I’ll pass” he is wise, he knows I will beat his ass. Placing my chains around my neck “good, but then again she might want to be on that label” closing my box “no I don’t” Robyn spoke up “nigga?” I said “that is what I am to you, a nigga. I am out, you might as well get Mel to join you” pulling the charging cable out from my phone “where are you going? Why are you running away, can’t we just talk it out?” talk it out, she is funny “to fix your attitude? Ok, have a good night” Robyn is funny and stupid, I ain’t going to sit and explain how to act.

Robyn is calling my phone, turning my phone face down. I am out eating with my boys, I never see some of these niggas from New Jersey “shit is different now, I would be coming to LA and staying at your Crib. Now I be sleeping on Lo’ couch” TJ said, sitting back in my chair laughing “what can I say my nigga, life comes at you fast and now I am married. I can’t have nigga parties anymore” there is someone missing here “where did Sinko leave too?” I asked Ant, he shrugged “Lo, where did he say he was going too?” Ant shouted over the table at Lo “oh he said he needed to go back to LA. Home shit popping off, he had to go” that was random, he didn’t even say anything to me “I am still thinking how she knows, how did Jessica know I was at those places. I be checking everywhere, I am scared she is coming at me now” Ant shook his head “what did you do to her? She is stuck on you, mentally stuck on you” I shrugged “I had sex with her, when I was at my low points in my life. She was there, you know. She would listen to me, I would be high as shit and I might have made her think we was more, I don’t know. She really think I am hers though, I am wondering though. Why does everyone know where I am, is someone watching me? I know I did things when I was in that part of my life but I feel insecure” my circle is small now, I don’t get it “I honestly don’t know” Ant said “probably hear your wife’ mouth and they find you” Hood spat “nigga, I heard you ain’t getting pussy from your wife?” TJ said laughing “there is always hoes around my nigga” TJ is a dumbass that needs to grow up “why are you listening to shit?” I said to Hood “we all heard, Chris be getting bullied in the bedroom, I know he gets his ass beat for being out” the boys laughed “alright, alright shut up now” Ant spoke up.

Dapping TJ “meet up again family” I said, he smiled at me “can’t wait to meet breezy junior my nigga, you boring as shit now though” he shouted walking off, turning my phone around. Robyn has called me three times, I am not calling her back. Placing my phone down on the table, grabbing my whiskey and drinking the last of the contents “another one” I said to the waiter “niggas gone, don’t have too many now” Ant said, I think I need it “shall we go to the strip club?” Ant stared at me all wide eyed “why?” he questioned “I feel like it” Ant sighed out “I think you need to go back to the hotel and just be with your wife” I knew he would say that “and look like a little bitch, my niggas are going there so why shouldn’t I go? They laugh in my face and then Robyn does me like that” the waiter placed my whiskey on the table “them you say, they are single, you have a wife and a child on the way. I am all for laughs, I would go but I wouldn’t go when in my heart I am doing it to upset my wife” rolling my eyes drinking my whiskey “what happened? I know about the beating but what upset you? You was happy as shit your wife was coming along” placing my drink down “she don’t respect me, I do so much for Robyn. It’s not a sex thing, ok I got angry she didn’t want sex but then the way she speaks to me, she was calling me nigga, being so rude to me and then hit me when I told her to not hit Jessica, then she hit me again on my chest when I stopped her. Then she shouted about our sex life in the car and then in the store. It’s more then just hormones because she has done it before” I am so annoyed “you know I am here for you, in the best way. Your friends intentions are wrong, as a married man myself. It’s something you’re going to sort out, I see it Chris. You spoil Rihanna a lot, for a woman that has everything you spoil her. You give her your all, no matter what and I see it myself. If she is not respecting you then you don’t need to go out your way to go to a strip club, then you are making yourself look bad. At this moment in time she is feeling bad. I can’t say what you’re feeling, I have never had the issue but Rihanna herself she is high maintenance. I don’t think I could deal with her but she does love you, I don’t want you to do something stupid like going with them. What I would do, go back to your room. Cold shoulder, she needs to understand how this is making you feel and you need to let Rihanna know that you love her but I am your husband and you ain’t about to let her do you like that. You told me you didn’t want a child, well not yet and look at this? You didn’t want to move but you did, you been making sacrifices and all you ask is respect, deal with it but in an adult way” Ant pointed at me “if I hear you and Rihanna have had an argument because you went to the strip club with them then you deserve the abuse” I wish my actual dad was like this.

Ant and I have been so silent, it’s mostly me. I am just in my own thoughts “you know, my dad got Leukemia” Ant looked at me in shock “why didn’t you say? I am sorry” waving him off “my dad met up with me in VA, bought this family along. Told me and expected me to look after his kids, like he didn’t let me suffer. My mom wants me to help him but I won’t, then I feel bad. My mom called me a week ago, she was like Leukemia can be inherited. I am scared, what if you get it. You know how mom’s be, I told her to stop looking at things like that. I don’t know Ant, my life is a little messy right now. I have a stalker, a wife that don’t respect me, a baby, my dad is dying, being attacked in the club. I should keep my ass at home” rubbing my head laughing “shit nigga, why didn’t you tell me? I am honestly so sorry to know about your dad, does your dad have anything with money? Like, do you give him money?” shaking my head “you know what, to put yourself at ease. Give him money, you feel bad” I don’t think he deserves money but I do feel bad.

Walking the hotel lobby ever so slowly, I did come back to the hotel. Ant is right “we flying out tomorrow?” Ant said behind me “uh yeah, I need to go back to LA” some normality back in my life, tapping the elevator button “do you think Rihanna is ok with the tour thing?” stepping on the elevator “honestly, I don’t think she is. She mentioned it when arguing with me but I want to do it, I want to tour” Ant tapped the top floor “women for you nigga, you will learn. I did” getting my phone out of my pocket again, I didn’t really check the message she left. Unlocking my phone and opening the message, she should be asleep by now “shawty sent me a message, this how crazy she can be. I know you’re friends are at the strip club, if I see you there then I am done with you. You can have those nasty ass hoes, crying over sex to me, fuck you” locking my phone “I ain’t even go there but yet she assumes, she is crazy and annoying. I should have went” placing my phone in my pocket “you didn’t go, you’re innocent. Don’t argue and just go to sleep, sleep off the drink” dapping Ant “see you in the morning” dragging my feet to the room, the hotel room I have us in is small as fuck. I should have got a bigger room, Jen and Mel are right next to us so they hear everything. The hotel room door unlocked, pushing it open. It’s dark in this room so she is asleep, crazy ass. The door closed and now I can’t see shit, walking ever so slowly. Getting my phone out from my pocket, let me put my phone light on or some shit. Putting the light on my phone, shining it on the bed. Robyn is asleep, and has taken all of the pillows too with her petty ass.