#the think im in a good christian cishet marriage

[weapon-ish]

okay so i think maybe catholics are insane. BUT today at in-law christmas. one of my aunts-in-law BROUGHT UP good omens, talking about how she loved it and that season two was devastating and how she's so excited for season three. actually literally said "i need it to end HAPPY!"

i felt like i was caught in a real life version of an old obviously fake superwholock tumblr post. this 40-something straight catholic woman loves the gay sacrilege show. girl what? i wouldn't have believed it if my wife wasn't there to confirm. i was so excited actually......... i recommended she watch wilde and bright young things bc she loooooves michael and i love that for her, i want her to see his twinkiest roles, LIVE FREE KELLY,,,

if we ever come out as not a cishet couple to that family i swearrrrr im telling her first. she would clap for us i think

[coelakanths]

I'm so curious— my mom almost converted us to mormonism back when I was in elementary school because of her really nice coworker... If you would like to tell me things I will listen.

of course!

fair warning that this is my personal experience with mormonism and people are different in every ward! also this is all over the place and long bc im angry and very VERY glad that you didnt join lmao

i was born into mormonism- my parents grew up in it and both went on missions and were overall two very religious people. im not being hyperbolic or exaggerating when i say that mormonism is a cult. there are plenty of red flags from everything to controlling the inner parts of your life (the word of wisdom and modesty laws- more on those later) to making you pay to get into heaven (tithing).

i dont know too much about other religions/sects of christianity but im pretty sure that tithing, while it is a thing elsewhere, isnt as heavily enforced as it is in mormonism. the basic premise that they explained to me was that god gave you everything, so you can afford to give a little back (which is! super guilt trippy!!) and therefore you need to give ten percent of all the money you get to the church. they often say this goes to helping the homeless/building temples, and although it does, they also use it on giant malls and have about 2 billion in the bank. 

you need to be a full tithe payer if you want a temple reccomend and you need a temple reccomend to get married in the temple and you need to get married in the temple (a good cishet marriage, mind you) to get into what mormons think is the highest part of heaven, the celestial kingdom.

there is a lot i could go into from here. a LOT. but i think one of the biggest and most disgusting things to me is the rampant racism in it. 

there are many scriptures demonizing dark skin. i will let these speak for themselves. when we went over one such scripture during family home evening (an event happening on sundays or mondays most frequently to read scriptures as a family) my grandparents brushed it off by saying “..but thats obviously just a metaphor.” the racism is never mentioned. nobody ever acknowledges it, or the fact that black people were first allowed in the temple in the 1960s DUE TO SOCIAL PRESSURE. cannot make this shit up.

lets go onto sexism shall we! 

modesty is a big thing in mormonism. young girls are taught (i was taught) that you need to cover up because boys cannot control themselves and need to keep their bodies pure so they can hold the priesthood. we were literally taught at ages as young as 8 that boys could not stop themselves from looking at our bodies. 

some things that girls arent allowed to wear include: things without sleeves, things that show your midriff, and shorts that go above your knee (this one isnt enforced too much but is still a source of guilt). for eight year olds. 

also! women are not allowed to hold the priesthood. priesthood is an essential part of mormonism. also also!! young women (12-18) meet together every wednesday for activities, same goes for young men. young men are taught life skills and camping tips, older boys go on things called high adventures where they get to go somewhere as a group and do a bunch of cool shit. young women sit inside and make crafts and are told about how to be good wives.

for lgbt issues, literally just look up elder oakes. i hate him with a passion. he deserves to rot. hes also extremely abelist and minimizes problems because “your body will be perfect in heaven.” 

i could also get into how missionaries often prey on people in bad situations (recovering from addiction, after the lost of a loved one, etc) because theyre vulnerable and looking for safety and closure that they cannot get but thats a topic for another day. 

and in less serious matters, the word of wisdom sucks. you cant have coffee or tea (even uncaffeinated tea is frowned upon, including most sodas. i have had coca cola once in my life and it was at a nevermo’s birthday party. felt guilty for weeks.) or alcohol. you also cant swear, get married if youre gay, be transgender, or break gender norms without being ostracized.

also! when youre eight you get locked in a room with a usually 40+ man who asks you questions about your sexuality, including invasive questions such as “have you been raped” and, if so, “did you enjoy it?” eight year olds. a man who spoke out against these questions was excommunicated.

so! tl;dr mormonism is much worse than people think it is and i am literally traumatized from growing up with this shit. it is sexist, racist, and extremely homophobic. run by old white pieces of shit. i hate it and you should too!

[heterophobiclesbean]

I feel bad for people who get involved in the ace/inclusionist community before they find out that they’re not ace. I thought I was ace after I came out just because of internalized homophobia but I very much was not and the whole community just shames people for liking sex and I’m still ashamed for having sex because of it. It’s just bad.

100% agree. i thought I was ace for about 6 months in high school because while i knew i didnt want to be with men, i also had so much internalized homophobia and shame, so I thought I also didn’t want to be with women. It was so much easier for me to call myself ace rather than analyze what was actually going on with me

and thats not to say there aren’t any gay ace people, or that everyone who thinks they are ace actually arent ace, or that all ace people have internalized shit to deal with. but the ace community on here pushes REALLY HARD for people to ID as ace, or at least on the ace-spectrum (the concept of an ace spectrum is an issue for a whole other time, but its really not a spectrum - either you are ace, or you are not). And for so many young kids who grew up getting told over and over again that being gay is wrong and dirty and sinful and what have you and that gay sex is a sin and all that, they repress the hell out of that. I definitely did. and so I felt ace because all of my friends were hooking up with guys and going on dates and shit and i was like??? soooo not into that. but i didnt want to be into women, either, because that would mean that i was a lesbian and i didnt want to be a lesbian. i didnt want to deal with all that shit. so my brain said i was ace because i couldnt be a lesbian because i have long hair or whatever bullshit and that was that

it would be less of an issue if like. a key aspect of homophobia didnt include hypersexualizing gay people and demonizing them for it, because thats what makes young gay people repress. i didnt think i was a lesbian because the idea of going down on a girl or a girl going down on me freaked me out and made me uncomfortable. that had so much more to do with the fact that 1. womens sexuality is taboo 2. oral sex is taboo 3. gay sex is taboo 4. i had never seen any positive, healthy portrayals of lesbian relationships before 5. i was taught growing up to never look at my vagina and to wait until marriage to have good christian missionary sex with my heterosexual husband. of course eating pussy was out of the question for me! not because i wasnt a lesbian but because that shit was so demonized for me and i was young and scared and impressionable!

thats the main reason im in this discourse anymore. because i know im not really gonna change anyones minds about whether cishet aces are “queer enough” or whatever bullshit. its because i know there is probably some other kid out there, who is young, in an unsupportive home, who has learned all kinds of false stereotypes about gay people and is still working on dispelling them. because that kid is going to see posts like “ahaha aces are so QWIRKY because we can get WORK DONE without thinking about THE SEX THING LOL!!!!!” and think they must be ace because every survival instinct in their body is shutting all of their gay shit down.

im not saying ace people dont have self-actualization issues related to being ace. im not saying nobody struggles with that. but the mentality much of the ace community has demonizes gay people in a way that masks itself as liberal and revolutionary when its really just classic homophobia, and dolled-up homophobia in all kinds of laces and bows is the LAST thing closeted LGBT kids need to help them come to terms with themselves.