#the true crackheads are miraculers

[wannajointhecrabcult]

Adrichat Craziness plus Miraculous/Batfam Crossover

In light of this new trend I had an urge to do this. This is a Miraculous/Batfam crossover. I'm sorry.

Imagine Damian, Marinette, and Adrien are friends.

How they met and all that backstory stuff is up to you.

Maybe Damian was sent in on a League mission or maybe it was an exchange program.

Maybe Adrien went to a gala with his father or Marinette's parents was catering a party in Gotham or something.

The important part is that they know eachother.

They could all be in a poly, just friends, cult members, secret relatives, a couple and a third wheeler, whatever.

Oh! And they know eachother's identities.

That's important too.

The great thing about this relationship is that no one knows about it except for the tree of them.

It's been hard hiding it from their family and other friends but they already have secret identities.

Lying and making excuses is easy for them.

They have weekly video chats, online movie nights, group chats, revenge plans, black mail, all that good stuff.

They know eachother better then they know themselves at this point.

So one day Damian is at Gotham Academy just scrolling through Tumblr when he finds this gem on #1 trending.

Adrichat.

There are adrichat memes, adrichat fanfics, adrichat comics, ADRICHAT.

The reaction is instant.

He bursts out in laughter, scaring everyone in the vicinity.

The Ice Prince LAUGHING?!?

Either the world is ending or it's the Joker.

Cue the panic and screaming.

Everyone is either running out, looking for places to hide, frozen in fear, or something else along those lines.

After a bit everyone has calmed down a bit and their has masks on they start to notice things.

Wait, where's the henchmen? The rumbling ground? The crazed laughter?

The only laughing that can be heard is Damian's.

Now as they look around they realize that there's no gas seeping out from the windows, under the doors, or through the walls either.

What is happening??

The Batfam arrives and observes from the shadows for a bit.

The cafeteria is full of people but non of them are really reacting like they normally do in some sort of villain attack.

Wait, why is everything just standing around awkward? Where's the henchmen, the guns, the JOKER?!

After a few minutes they come out and start questioning people.

The students and staff just sorta point to a corner of the cafeteria where they are greeted at the sight of a hysterical Damian on the floor.

After the shock of seeing Damian LAUGHING wore off, Nightwing instantly went into panicking mother hen mode and gave him the Joker laugh gas antidote.

It didn't work.

He's still laughing.

WHY IS HE STILL LAUGHING!?!??

At this point the rest of the fam snaps out of it and tries to figure out why the antidote isn't working while panicking. (Well they weren't outwardly showing it so that the civilians could see but they were.)

Through his laughter and tears-wait. TEARS?! Damian tells them to get his phone and call someone called Angel?

Confused Red Robin picked up his phone from off the floor (he dropped and kicked it away during his fit) and looks through Damian's contacts.

As he scrolls through he sees them, Jon, and someone called 'Banana Sunshine Boi' before coming across "Scary Pastry Angel".

He calls them, puts them on speaker, and is surprised when he hears a accented tired female voice say "Dove? *groan* Why in the kwami are you calling me in 2 in the flipping morning?"

From where he is on the floor clutching his stomach, he makes a grabbing motion with one of his hands.

Once the phone is passed to him and he brings it to his ear he wheezes out "M-Mari."

Now panicked Marinette says "Omg are you crying?! Or are you laughing? It's hard to tell?"

"It's b-both actually. But t-that's not what's imp-portant here. Have you *wheeze* c-checked tumblr y-yet?"

"No? I literally just woke up. Wait, Lemme jussstttt......."

After that there was a long pause.

They thought maybe he accidentally hung up when the mystery person whispers through the phone.

"I... I can't... is this for real?"

"Yep."

"........... Heh.... Hhehe. Ehheeheheh. HehEHWHHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAH!"

Slowly the voice on the other side delves into uncontrollable laughter, triggering Damian to laugh harder as well.

He drops the phone again only for it to be caught by Red Hood before it hit the ground.

"What the hell are we supposed to do now? What even HaPpEnEd?!" Asked the anti-hero as he turned to his brothers.

They all just sorta look at eachother before Damian tells them to add Banana to the call.

"Excuse me. WHO?!?" Asked Jason before the phone was snatched out of his hand by Tim.

He does as Damian tells him to and after a few rings another tired accented but now male voice is heard.

"Guys why are mew calling me so early?What's happeting? Mew know I have a furto shoot in the meowning."

'Even half asleep he's still punning.' thinks Damian as Marinette answers his question.

"We c-called because ppttt C-can you check t-tumblr please. I-It's important."

"Umm. Okay?" Was the reply.

They all waited for a few moments before Adrien's voice was heard again.

"Is this real?"

"Correct."

"So I'm actually trending on Tumblr?"

"*wheeze* y-yeah?"

"And hundreds of people are writing fanfics, making memes, and drawing comics about me dating myself?"

"Yep."

"........."

"........."

"Dang. I never though about me and Chat like that but I guess we do make a cute couple. After all, the dashing royal and the smooth knight has always been one of my favorite tropes."

"bwahahWHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAHAH!"

[uwusenpaiuwu]

Sleepovers At The Baji Household feat. A Fed-Up Chifuyu

Summary: Chifuyu just wants to sleep, man, but Baji wants to be a jealous crackhead at 2 AM.

Pairing: Sano Manjiro | Mikey x Male Reader

Note(s): I had a little free time and wrote this. So, please enjoy! ALSO, to the anon that sent me a request a few days ago, I saw it and have it filed on my to-do list!!! I will definitely get to it as soon as I get a break in my schedule :)

"Chifuyu, ya wanna see some real discrimination?"

No. No, Chifuyu does not want to see what Baji means by 'real discrimination.'

Does he tell him that, though?

Yes, actually, because it's 2 in the fucking morning and, as much as he respects the other boy, he wouldn't put it past himself to smother him with a pillow after having his dream of cuddling with a sea of puppies suddenly destroyed.

Unfortunately for his sanity, Baji either doesn't hear him or, more likely than not, doesn't give a fuck, because he's already flopping onto his belly and whipping out his phone to do God knows what.

The dial tone that sounds from the speaker a few seconds later makes Chifuyu cringe, especially since it's only ever been a calm silence fit for a good night's sleep prior to Baji bulldozing through it with his absurd question. (At the very least, he's thankful that the latter has half a mind to keep the brightness on the lowest setting, otherwise, Chifuyu would have had to fight.)

On the far end of the row of carefully-laid futons, you shift in your sleep, eyebrows furrowing together at the noise. Rotating onto your side, you unconsciously reach for Baji, and just when he thinks you're being cute and trying to cuddle him, you smack him in the head.

Baji doesn't flinch, instead, takes his pillow and shoves it in your grasp to keep your unconscious self occupied, so that he can focus on getting through to the person who reuses to pick up (understandably so).

Releasing a frustrated groan after being redirected to voice mail for the fifth time, he dials the number again, muttering an impatient, "Pick up already."

Chifuyu feels sorry for the poor soul on the other end. He would've blocked someone following the first call, because again, it's-

The blond has to squint his eyes up at the digital clock on Baji's nightstand, which confirms that it's already 2:22 A.M, further solidifying the fact that he shouldn't be awake right now. And this also applies to the ever persistent first division captain, who insists on bothering who Chifuyu soon discovers is Mikey from the contact ID that flashes across the screen.

Why Baji is so keen on bothering him is a question he doesn't have the mental capacity to ponder over. The most energy he'll expend is to listen in when the call miraculously connects.

"What...?" comes a muffled voice from the receiver, tone laced in an irked grogginess birthed from a slumber rudely interrupted.

There's an absurdly loud, almost angry, roar of Mikey's name, one that has Chifuyu curling in on himself in a futile attempt to escape a sound that should be illegal at this hour.

But you know what else should be illegal?

The fucking whiplash Chifuyu gets when Baji's deep voice takes an abrupt 180°, switching from its normal gruffness to a squeaky, ear-piercing shrill as he screams, "I love you, love you, love you! Do you love me, too, Mikey-kyun~♡?!"

The room is dead silent.

Not a word. Not a murmur. Not a breath.

Just pure, unadulterated silence as both Chifuyu and Mikey process the words that hang in the air, permeating it with a goosebumps-inducing eeriness from having heard such a...a girly, overtly cutesy screech from Baji.

Then-

"What the fuck? He hung on me!"

Chifuyu opens his mouth, thinks better of reacting to the cursed scene he had the misfortune of bearing witness to, and promptly closes it.

Other people may have sleep paralysis demons.

But Chifuyu?

Chifuyu has Baji.

With both hands partially raised in prayer, he begs for the shenanigans to be over and done with.

They are not.

While his eyes remain closed in a last ditch effort to convince himself that it's all a bad dream, he hears a lot of grumbling happening on your side of the room, courtesy of Baji, who's scrambling around in search of...something. One quick peek reveals him fiddling with a phone - yours, to be exact, as evidenced by the distinctive phone charm of your favorite anime character hanging from it.

"(Y/n), wake up for a second," he hears him whisper. It takes a bit of prompting, until he's able to successfully rouse you enough from sleep to elicit any kind of response, which is, essentially, nothing short of an incoherent, slurred mess. Although, Chifuyu is pretty damn certain he heard you call Baji a 'dickhead' for the trouble.

Unperturbed, he continues shaking your limp form, coaxing you into wakefulness with, "Repeat what I tell you, and I'll let you go back to asleep. Deal?"

You squint your eyes at him, only able to make out a vague outline of his visage in the lightless room. "Promise?"

"Cross my heart, hope to die," he automatically responds with the same phrase he's become accustomed to saying whenever you two made a promise, something done purely out of habit, formed when the two of you were just kids and he wanted to get you to do something absolutely ridiculous either for him or with him. And just 'cause he knows you're more susceptible to complying if he does it, he also interlocks his pinky with yours.

"...Fine."

The approval is his cue to proceed, and it's as he's putting the phone on speaker that he turns back to a regretfully wide awake Chifuyu, mouthing a wordless, 'Watch.'

The phone rings, loud and clear, precisely once and only once.

"(Y/n), what's wrong?" It's important to note that even though Mikey still sounds tired as hell, his tone is much lighter, much happier really, than when it was Baji, which is an offense in itself to the said teen that's off to the side, attentively listening to the conversation unfold.

Then, it strikes Chifuyu, what Baji is trying to do, and fuck does it give him an instant headache.

Meanwhile, your mouth morphs into the dopiest of smiles with the pleasant surprise of hearing your boyfriend's voice, chest instantly overtaken by a warm fuzziness that never fails to make an appearance whenever he's involved. Sappy, you know, but it's true!

A light but firm nudge to your shoulder reminds you of your mission. It's too bad that, teetering along the edge of sleep as you are, the words Baji whispers are barely repeated correctly.

The initial phrase from before, the one Baji greeted Mikey with, is shortened to a simple, "You wuv I...?"

But, without missing a beat, you receive Mikey's confident reply of, "Mhm... I wuv you a lot."

There's a sleepy giggle then - a fucking giggle - before your voices drop to sweet whispers that the third and fourth wheels can't fully comprehend from where they are.

"Where the fuck was my 'I wuv you,' huh?!" Baji whisper-shouts, considerate of your conversation even when ranting and raving. "Shit, I would've taken a simple 'I love you,' too! I've known that bastard way longer than (Y/n), and this is what I get?!"

Okay. Toman's president answers his boyfriend's late night calls faster than he does anyone else's and openly expresses his love for him. So what? Chifuyu wouldn't exactly call it 'discrimination,' per se. 'Favoritism,' maybe if you wanna stretch it, but using as strong a word as discrimination, especially taking into account you two are dating; it's normal? Nah.

"You wanna say 'bye' to them? Mm. Baji and Chifuyu." A pause. "Fuyu, Mikey says 'bye.'"

"Bye, Mikey-kun."

The other person in the room waits, and waits, and waits, and when it's clear that there is no intention to address his presence whatsoever, Baji turns to Chifuyu with an almost scandalized expression, making wild gesticulations with his hands, clearly distressed. "See?!"

Blank blue eyes stare back at him, unblinking. Honestly, it's a common occurrence - Baji spiraling in a nonsensical rage - so it's easy for Chifuyu to block out the muted, jealousy-driven temper tantrum as he takes his pillow in both hands, raises it as high as he can, and-

Sigh.

-lets it flop right back onto his face.

He can't suffocate Baji. Shouldn't. Wouldn't. Couldn't. After all, they're best buds, meaning he has an obligation to put up with shit like this once in a while. (Plus, he'd probably get his ass kicked before he succeeds anyway. Totally not worth the beating.)

"Did you hear? Mikey said he wuvs me," he hears you drawl dreamily as soon as you hang up, sounding very close to clocking back out for the night.

"Yeah, yeah. Cute shit. Happy for ya, dude," Baji huffs. Thankfully, he sounds like he's in a similar state to yours, if the yawn that follows his sarcastic comment is anything to go by.

"...He soooo ignored you."

That warrants a punishing punch to the arm, dulled only slightly by the combination of the thick quilt you're swaddled in and the raven-haired boy's fatigue.

"I'll fucking throw you out right now, (Y/n). Don't test me."

"You won't."

"I will."

"Won't."

"Will."

The conversation gradually dies down shortly after, the exhaustion that took its sweet time getting to both of you having reached its peak with the help of the childish bickering. It takes 10 minutes, maybe 15, before two sets of light snores fill the room.

Finally.

Let it be known that there is a lesson to be learned from tonight's events. Really, there is. Y'know, something along the lines of 'Don't agree to a sleepover with Baji, if you plan on actually sleeping,' or whatever.

Alas, Chifuyu's consciousness fades before he realizes what it is.

~~~

"Mikey, be honest. Who do you love more? Me or-?"

"(Y/n)."

"But-"

(Y/n)."

"I-"

"(Y/n)."

Baji is only momentarily discouraged, sharp eyes glaring at the blond that lays his head on your lap after hi-fiving you. He didn't want to do this, but he's left with no choice.

"(Y/n) or Babu?"

From the way Mikey stiffens up, refusing to look at either him or you in the eyes, Baji knows he has him right where he wants him, has him torn between a cute face or a sweet ride.

"Oi! Don't pretend to be asleep! Answer the damn question! OI!"

(After hours of serious contemplation - even though you told him it doesn't particularly matter - it's revealed that, of course, Mikey loves you more. Babu just happens to trail behind as a very close second.)

[nostalthicc]

hives | jeff wittek

jeff wittek x reader, zane hijazi x reader[PLATONIC]

summary: delayed allergic reactions are the worst, especially when they happened off a steep slip n’ slide. this is bad summary. im sorry. im supppperr bad at them.

warnings: fluff, slight angst, cursing, allergic reaction

1.9k words

lower case intended ` not my gif

y/n would usually jump on the idea of being in a video with two of her best friends- jeff and zane -but she had a photoshoot she needed to get over with because she has been pushing it back for ages. the last video they all did together was one of the most viewed videos on y/n’s channel. everyone said their chaotic and crackhead energy all evened out with one another. which they all knew was true, their jokes always bounced off each other. that's all y/n and jeff heard that all the time before they started dating, that they were a perfect match and continue to hear it to this day. 

she decided to pick wraps from hat favorite shop near jeff's apartment. y/n had just finished her shoot and was heading over to her boyfriend’s to hang out with him and zane before they all went to david's for the night. when she to jeff's they were still finishing up the video for his channel.

“oh wow, look who decided to show up.” jeff said, pointing to y/n. reggie turned the camera towards the girl, who just scowled and threw her middle fingers before walking to the kitchen to put the food in the fridge. “and she brought food!” 

zane turned around in the chair to face y/n. “y/n/n, baby! help me, please, look what he did to me, he's making my hairline recede even more than it already was!” he shouted, thrashing around in the chair causing jeff to have to pause on fixing certain stops. y/n laughed as the two started bickering about zane’s whining. soon getting bored with their fussing, she made her way to jeff's room to change into something cozier than the outfit she had to wear for the shoot, she felt as though the material was stabbing her skin and could feel herself already growing extremely itchy. 

david had texted the groupchat to come early and bring a swimsuit which never led to anything good or safe but no one ever seemed to question and y/n would not be the first. the three of them all headed to david's, zane was driving but y/n and jeff were in a very intense game of cup pong. the winner got to choose dinner and the loser had to pay.

when they arrived at david’s house everyone was there except alex and nick. inside they were many drinks scattered around- as usual -and a few people y/n didn't recognize, she figured they were here to set up david's miraculous plan. everyone was supposed to carpool to motley lake because they were going to be using the giant hill for a slip n’ slide. y/n loved the water, this was probably one of the first of david's idea she wasn't hesitant about, which says a lot for all the ideas that come from him. 

the set up was perfect, the huge line of tarp expanded down the hill, the sunset, and the water. jeff, y/n, zane, heath, and mariah stopped by the store to get floaties, oils, and soaps. the floaties were zane and y/n’s idea. 

everyone was now gathered at motley with the proper essentials, they were ready to start the video. y/n wore one of the new bikinis she got with carly, erin, and suzy a few weeks ago on their monthly shopping trip. she hadn't had the chance to wear it yet and it was probably the sturdiest swimsuit owned.

“baby! get in the donut with me!” zane shouted at y/n, who was talking to erin and mariah. she had no intentions of going first and the entire slide somehow collapsing in on itself- that was zanes thing. but despite her doubt, she hopped on the back of the tube, letting todd and heath push them over the edge. the anticipation of getting down the slide was worse than coming in contact with the lake, even though y/n completely flew out of the floaty into the air as they reached the bottom. 

jeff ran over to y/n as she got closer to the top of the hill. “are you okay?” he asked, a concerned look on his face, he scanned her entire body to check for any injuries and her bikini straps before throwing a towel around her shoulders. he always worried about her when she did all the crazy stuff with zane or for david's vlog because she is the clumsiest and most oblivious person he's ever met. she will basically do anything anyone asked of her because of her kind and reckless nature. 

“did you see that!” y/n flung her arms around in the air, she had a huge rush of adrenaline from the slide but the longer she had both of her feet planted on the ground the faster she was starting to crash from that same rush. “actually i think i need to sit down,” she said, allowing jeff to lead her to the peak of the hill and set her down next to david who had his camera pointed straight at them. y/n’s heavy breathing attracted the attention of Jason and Josh- the parents of the group. josh plucked the towel off of her shoulders to inspect her back to see a dark red, raging rash along her upper back. he then moved around back to her front, he gently grabbed her chin to look at her eyes before instructing y/n to open her mouth. her tongue was swollen. “y/n, you’re having an allergic reaction.” Josh said calmly. “what are you allergic to?” she tried to speak but couldn’t from the coughing and heavy breathing. by now the entire group as circled around them trying to see what was wrong with their friend. 

natalie pushed past the crowd to get next to jeff. “she’s allergic to bees,” she burst out, watching as jeff and zane share a look but natalie decided to ignore it to focus on y/n. “we should take her to the hospital unless someone has an epipen.” after a few seconds in the silence jeff picked up his girlfriend, hurrying to carry her to his car. he explained the prank he pulled on zane for his video that he didn’t know she had a bee allergy. 

david, jason, josh, natalie, todd, and zane all piled into jeff’s car to travel with y/n to the ER. jason constantly told jeff he was an idiot the entire ride there. y/n was in between natalie and todd in the backseat, she had started wheezing soon after they got in the car, only adding to the coughing and heavy breathing. 

jeff didn’t even park the car before getting out to take y/n in the hospital, as soon as he stepped foot in the building he was shouting to nurses to get the sick girl help. they acted quickly, helping jeff get her into a room before they immediately started getting her on oxygen and got her an epi-shot. everyone was forced out of the room so they had room to treat on y/n. 

“jeff, calm down. the doctor said we got her here in time, she’s going to be okay.” natalie told a frantic jeff who hadn’t stopped pacing since they got kicked out. she has been trying to calm him down for about thirty minutes but nothing has helped. he can’t help but like this entire situation was his fault, even though he didn’t know. he was completely shaken by events of the day. 

when they were finally allowed back in, y/n was asleep due to the sedative they gave her to stabilize her body down from the shock. she looked absolutely pitiful hooked up to all the machines, even though they were only for vitals and to watch her heart and lungs. natalie, jason, and david were quick to excuse themselves to find food and water for everyone when y/n woke up- they were really trying to let jeff and y/n have space, zane and todd didn’t get the memo. 

“did you know she was allergic to bees?” jeff question his two friends left in the room with him. he needed to know to ease his mind that he wasn’t the only clueless moron who didn’t know she was allergic to freaking bees. 

zane and todd shook their heads no. “she never told me anything.” todd replied. 

running his fingers through his hair, a long, heavy sigh escaped jeff’s lips. “fuck, i just feel so stuid. it’s really messing me up, man. y/n could have died and it would’ve been my fault, the one person i can’t live without could have died on my hands.” he paused, looking at all the equipment attached to her. “i’ve seen and heard a lot of shit but this really fucks me up, you know.” todd put a comforting hand on jeff’s shoulder, he felt for him, jeff wasn’t one to show much emotion so to see him this shaken up makes him upset. 

“it was all of us, jeff. we all agreed on the prank, we didn’t know but i don’t think she blames you,” zane told his friend, his eyes trailing to an awake y/n behind him. jeff followed his gaze to his girlfriend who had tears building in her eyes. his mind immediately went to bad reasons of why she was upset but he was so, so wrong. zane and todd hurriedly gave y/n a hug before making their way out the room to let the couple talk. 

jeff opened his mouth to speak but y/n cut him off before he could ramble out a ton of apologies. “first off, i’m not mad, i could never be mad at something so innocent. i mean, i didn’t even tell you- or anyone for that matter. which now i see was stupid but i never thought i would run into many bees in LA. secondly, what you said- that was so fucking sweet, like really fucking sweet. no one in my life has cared about me the way you do and i couldn’t say thank you enough.” she bit her lip to try and conceal her sob but it came out anyway. “and i- i really love you for it, for everything. god, i probably will never be mad at you so anything. i would end up in a million hospitals just to hear you say those things again.” everything she said was true, y/n loved him and what better time to tell him than in the ER. his silence was setting a bad feeling in the pit of her chest though, many doubtful thoughts rushing through her head. had she said the wrong thing? was it too soon? did he hate her for not telling him about the allergy? “please say something or do something- just anything. p-please.” 

“you love me?” he asked.

“yeah, i really fucking love you,” she exclaimed, another sob leaving her lips. the twinkle in jeff’s eye could be seen from a mile away. he swiftly made his way to the bed, bringing y/n in for an embrace, he maintained the urge to squeeze and never let go ever again. they held each other for ages, they were the people in the building- in the world right now.

jeff lifted his head from the crook of her neck. “i really fucking love you too.” he said before bringing her into a long, passionate kiss which was interrupted by their friends joining them in the room once again. 

[msiopao]

The One with the Flying Chicken

pairing: taehyung x nobi

summary: it’s all fun and games until jimin calls jin, screaming that taehyung and nobi accidentally caught the kitchen on fire and chickens are flying

endlessly scrolling through delicious-looking food in Pinterest made nobi have the sudden urge to cook or bake something. albeit, not being the best at cooking, she’s always been fascinated at the process of it all, treating it like a science experiment. and with the quarantine limiting their activities, their schedules have miraculously freed up and it was another vacation all over again.

sitting up from her bed, nobi was about to ask jungkook to cook with her until she saw his passed out form, softly snoring with the covers hanging off the side of the bed. instead, she just walked over and pulled the sheets over his body to make sure he was warm and comfortable as he slept.

as she walked out from the room, the entire dorm was terribly quiet.

eerily quiet.

ever since they moved in, it has been filled with loud screams from jin since namjoon broke something again or jimin yelling at taehyung as they played mario kart. but now, it was so quiet, she could hear the ac running.

hoseok and yoongi were at their studios, probably making new songs, while namjoon and jin were at the company, probably deciding what to do with their concert being cancelled.

that left the maknae line by themselves.

what was jin thinking?

she walked towards jimin and hobi’s room, only to find him not there, so she wandered over to taehyung’s room where she found the 2 of them. taehyung was playing overwatch while jimin was sifting through the clothes in taehyung’s closet.

“yah, what are you doing?” nobi asked from the door that was slightly ajar.

taehyung obviously didn’t hear her as he had his headphones on but jimin jumped at the sound of her voice. he turned from the jackets to her and gave her a grin before beckoning her over.

“c’mere. i’m thinking of having a fashion show over tae’s clothes,” he answered. nobi walked to him and inspected the clothing, not surprised at the amount of Gucci that occupied the space.

she raised a hand to her chin and tapped her cheek with her index finger as the other pushed away other clothing. “hm, he has an old man style so it’s quite hard to style your type of look.”

jimin looked at her confused before asking, “what?”

“you see, a lot of tae-hyung’s clothes are neutral colored. you have a youthful and baby-ish type of face so in order for your looks to stand out, you should wear extravagant and bright colors. i mean, that’s just my opinion.”

by now, taehyung had his headphones off. he placed them on the desk and looked at the other two, watching jimin pull out a striped button down and holding it to his body.

“how about this?” he asked while nobi just shook her head.

“no,” she disagreed.

“get the yellow long-sleeve,” tae advised.

nobi flinched at his deep voice but nodded at him. “that would probably work.”

taehyung got up from his chair and walked to them before wrapping an arm around her shoulder. “what are you doing here, squirt?”

due to his tall height, nobi had to crane her head to properly look at him. “you see, i’m craving for food but jin-hyung isn’t here. i came to see if you wanted to cook with me.”

“is jungkook sleeping?” jimin asked while nobi nodded, sadly. “hm, that kid has been pushing himself too hard lately.”

“tell me about it. he’s been coming home late every night and sleeping throughout the day,” she quietly complained.

“what do you want to make, bibi?” tae asked causing her to happily smile.

“chicken! i want chicken!” she excitedly answered so the two boys followed her out of the room and into the kitchen.

jimin settled himself at the island while nobi grabbed two aprons from the closet. one was jin’s while the other was an extra.

“here,” she handed the pink apron to taehyung,

he cringed at the color before putting it on. “how come i get jin-hyung’s?”

“because pink looks good on you,” she patted his cheek.

jimin pulled up the recipe and listed out the ingredients for them to use so the two went around the kitchen, grabbing meat and spices and pans.

“it says here, to fry the chicken twice,” jimin said.

nobi stopped and looked at him with an eyebrow raised. “twice? why twice?”

“it’s to make sure it’s crispy,” tae answered from the fridge.

nobi measured out the flour and the liquids for the sauce while taehyung cut the chicken in pieces and pour oil into the pan. 

“is this enough oil?” taehyung asked and squeezed the empty bottle.

nobi looked over and nodded. “i think so.”

“it says here to wait until the oil gets hot so you can fry it,” jimin read.

“so let’s wait while i cut the chicken,” tae told her and nobi agreed.

nobi was quietly measuring out flours while taehyung carefully sliced the chicken breasts into little tenders. jimin’s role was to tell them the process while nobi and taehyung did the actual cooking. to be honest, jimin should’ve been the one behind the apron since taehyung can’t cook for anything.

and that was proven true.

next thing they knew, there was a slight sizzle and the pan was suddenly on fire.

“fire!” jimin screamed causing them to turn and also scream in fright.

the chicken taehyung was holding flew out of his hand as he screamed which landed on nobi’s hair and she screamed louder as she felt the cold slimy texture on her scalp. her hand swatted it away and once again, it flew up in the air.

fumbling for his phone, jimin called the first number on his recently called list and it was jin.

“hello?” the calm voice of the oldest member was overpowered by the chaos happening in front of him.

“HYUNG! THE KITCHEN IS ON FIRE! THE PAN IS ON FIRE!” jimin yelled and let out a high-pitch yelp at the feeling of raw meat hitting his leg. “AND THE CHICKENS ARE FLYING!”

“WHAT?! PARK JIMIN, WHAT?! WHY IS IT ON FIRE?! FLYING CHICKENS?! WHAT DID YOU DO?!” jin worriedly yelled and caught the attention of namjoon who was standing next to him as they were getting drinks from the vending machine.

“WATER! WATER!” nobi yelled and taehyung grabbed a cup full of water and threw it to the pan. but it just got stronger

“AH! IT GOT BIGGER!” taehyung screamed and nobi ran to open the windows and fanned it with a binder while trying to figure out how to turn off the smoke alarm. jimin held the phone tightly at his hands and sprinted.

“HYUNG WHAT DO WE DO?!” he asked as he ran all over the house, looking for a fire extinguisher.

“listen to me, park jimin.” his nerves were slightly decreased at the voice of their leader. “there is an extinguisher by the front door and in the storage closet. give it to them. whatever you do, do NOT throw water. that is probably a grease fire and you need to put it out immediately.”

“Okay!” he said and sprinted to the closet by the front door and found the familiar looking object before sighing in relief.

jimin went back to the kitchen and saw taehyung and nobi throwing water and there was also a chicken tender throw in as well.

“YAH! NO WATER! WATER MAKES IT STRONGER!” jimin screamed.

“SEE! I TOLD YOU WE SHOULDN’T DO THAT!” taehyung looked at her with wide eyes.

“EXTINGUISHER!” jimin handed her the can and she hastily read the instructions and pulled the trigger, blasting it to the fire.

the fire was gone, the detector stopped, and the kitchen went dead silent again. 

nobi looked surprised while jimin looked relieved. he mumbled an apologetic thanks to the phone before hanging up and running his hands through his hair. they walked to the living room, far away from the kitchen and slumped on the couch.

nobi was still shaking from the fright causing jimin to pull her to his side. taehyung threw his head back on the couch and massaged his head.

“well, that was a disaster,” jimin mumbled.

“please,,, don’t talk about it.”

nobi’s quiet whine made the trio go silent as they were silently preparing themselves for the lecture that jin was about to give them.

and all of this happened and ended with jungkook still snoring on his bed.

bonus:

yoongi messed with the keys on his keyboard until he suddenly froze. there was this weird feeling inside that he just stopped everything he was doing and stared into the wall. the ring from his phone made him snap out of the daze and he saw hoseok’s name.

“hm?” he answered, dazed.

“hyung, i have this weird feeling and i don’t know what it is.”

yoongi focused as hobi must be feeling the same thing. “i am too. i think something’s happening but i don’t know what.”

hoseok was about to talk when yoongi’s hand accidentally hit his keyboard and played the song, ‘Fire’, right at the part where they yelled, ‘FIRE! OH WEH OH!’

they didn’t talk until hoseok laughed. “well, it just went away. i think i was just feeling nostalgic. after all, i was scrolling through my pictures and found our group photo in front of that car.”

it also went away from him. “hm, i guess so. it just faded from me too.”

hoseok asked him a few more things until he hung up to finish another track. even though the feeling was gone, yoongi still couldn’t shake off that weird sensation of dread and fear from his mind.

‘hm, i think i’m just hungry. chicken sounds nice right now.’

a/n: just crackhead things with crackheads during quarantine

[dolphin-enthusiast]

Any unpopular opinions with any jojo characters?

HmMmmMmM the t e a

Ok so controversial most likely but imo joseph isn't THAT great of a jojo as in i dont think hes THE best jojo. Sure hes fuckin hilarious and also smart in all of his crackheadness but i kinda dislike him bc of the whole cheating thing and yes i know it was neccesary for the plot but still that wasnt very cash money of him (at least we got shoeske.)

I also think diavolo wasnt the best villain and that part 5 wasn't THAT miraculous bc i expected smth else tbh but nonetheless i enjoyed tf outta it like dont get me wrong i totally like part 5, it's just that it didn't really surprise me that much like part 3 or 4 did for example.

And it also lowkey annoys me that we literally cant get rid of dio like STAY DEAD BITCH S T A Y D E A D next thing u know the mf is fuckin ascending heaven like??? GO BACK TO SLEEP AND S T A R V E sksnsn if anything this is most likely bc i hate dio w a passion but oh well.

Last one and idk if its unpopular or not but imo best villain in the entirety of jojo is kira all bc hes so "normal" compared to the others and doesnt dress like a gay evil lord yknow and besides hes more realistic and oop this might be my true crime fascinated ass speaking🤡👊