#the way he treats hawke is gross the way he treats fenris is gross

[todderwodders]

Why is Anders like, on paper, very dedicated to his beliefs and wanting to help people but gale, whose a considerably worse person, is just funnier nicer smarter cuter prettier—-

[high-dragon-bait]

Hi You have infected me with Eshanna thoughts, and I was thinking about like, before her magic manifests, if they're living in Kirkwall (and she's spending summers in Antiva with her cool uncle), HOW MANY cool aunt/uncles she probably has in that town?

Cool aunt Merrill (though Fenris doubtless has strong opinions about his daughter spending any time with little miss blood is magic (affectionate)) showing little Eshanna all the best places in town to get sweet treats and where the best walled gardens are and how to sneak into them

Cool auntie Isabela (who would hate being called that) sailing in from doing pirate shit every now and then to flirt with Eshanna's dad (gross) and shower her in presents like the childless wealthy bisexual disaster she is

Cool (if grumpy) aunt Aveline sorta affectionately letting Eshanna get away with everything because she reminds her of her mother, and Hawkes get to do what they want in this town

Cool uncle Donnic scooping her up on his shoulders while he's on patrol in the safer parts of town, telling her very watered down funny stories about her dad from before she was born

Cool uncle Carver swinging by between duty cycles to pat her awkwardly on her little head and then, when she's older, teach her some martial skills because that's the only way he's confident he knows how to interact with people

Cool(?) Uncle Sebastian (when he calms down) coming by to take her and Fenris to church every now and then, when the chantry is rebuilt, and to talk in his gentle voice about the love of the Maker and for a little while she feels almost at peace

(I know Anders isn't welcome and doesn't see Eshanna for YEARS but consider: an orange kitten with a blue ribbon tied around its neck shows up on their doorstep in a basket one day and Eshanna is OVER THE MOON and sh can't work out why her dad is so suspicious of the adorable little beastie)

And of course, coolest uncle Varric, who's the fuckin Viscount, and can and will pull any strings he wants in order to make sure her childhood is as idyllic as Kirkwall can possibly make it

(which ofc means the Coterie falls in line and treats her like their little darling because if they don't Varric will feed them their own feet and if they do he will give them lots of money)

Anyways my overall point is: does this child EVER suffer a single consequence (other than dad's grumpy face and maybe some mild* chewing out) for her actions prior to her decision to up and run away? I mean everyone in her life misses her mom so much and feels so bad about her being gone, they probs let this kid run roughshod over the whole gotdang city lmao

*mild by Fenris's standards bc he's trying so hard to be nice but he has NO (zip zero none) context for what a reasonable amount of discipline is

I just need to say it makes me OVERJOYED to see so much written about a character that for the most part is completely divorced from the official canon and is JUST my OC like. Thank you so much for taking the time to type all this out!!!

I’m gonna go through each point and tell you what I have in mind for each dynamic if anything at all, some of these I definitely haven’t thought about lmao

Some context for Eshana's story for anyone who's confused, and the rest of this will be under a readmore to avoid eating people's dashes

Merrill

Avis and Merrill weren't actually that close! They weren't not friends, but they were the friends that don't really hang out on their own. If they're left alone together it's small talk until the rest of the crew shows up. No one's fault, they just don't have a whole lot in common and Avis' closeness with both Fenris and Anders definitely made things a little awkward.

BUT Merrill is Merrill, and regardless of how close she and Avis were, you're still right. Merrill would absolutely sneak Eshana all the sweets she could, bonus points if they're made with Dalish recipes (usually baked pastries such as pies and rolls with berries and honey in them) and show her all the beautiful things about Kirkwall. Fenris. Would not appreciate if Merrill took Eshana to the alienage, but she probably has more than once. They're her people too, Fenris, she should know.

Isabela

You’re on the money with this one. Eshana LOVES Isabela and Isabela is definitely the one who tells her stories she’s probably way too young to hear, with the justification of “she’s going to learn about it one day!” to Fenris. Eshana doesn’t care, she adores them.

And yes, she showers Esha with gifts. I like to think when Fenris would pick her up from her uncle at the end of the summers, he would have a little bag of gifts for her. He brings her dolls, painted wooden toys, necklaces, bracelets, earrings and other trinkets. (I’ve got a secret mental scene of Vaea catching Fenris buying a doll in a marketplace and that’s how she finds out he has a daughter back home. I don’t imagine he tells people about her much while he’s Blue Wraith-ing)

Eshana loves these gifts from her father, honestly, she does. But Isabela’s bringing things a little more exciting. Isabela will bring her full sized daggers, complete with a gory story of how she won it in a tavern brawl. Is it true? You have her word as a captain it is.

Aveline and Donnic

Combining these two into one for brevity’s sake. Your on the right track here, but Aveline doesn’t let her get away with absolutely everything exactly. She has given her extensive lectures about rules and law in Kirkwall, and that her name only grants her so much. Lectures Eshana… endured. But the moment the tears start flowing start flowing it’s all over. That’s when Donnic swoops in and takes her off for a little while. Eshana grows up with a healthy amount of love… and a little bit of fear for Aveline.

I will say, Aveline is the one that smacks Fenris upside the head when he needs it. When Eshana vanishes, obviously the first thing he does is go to the captain of the city guard to find her. Aveline talks him down from his panic-fueled fearful rage, and tells him that she’ll look, but she’s not going to drag her back to him kicking and screaming. She’ll be gone again within a week if she does that. Throughout the whole ordeal she tries to be the voice of reason when Fenris can’t, and she does play a huge part in keeping him sane.

Carver

Okay. This is where things get kind of awkward. In the true canon, my friend and I have changed some events up, some to make the combination of our playthroughs a bit more smooth and some just for the hell of it. This is one just for the hell of it. Point is: The Grey Warden that falls into the Fade with Avis, is Carver, and Avery does not fall in with them

Avis dies when Carver tries to play the hero and run off and distract the nightmare, she pulls him away and forces him up the stairs but then she has to take over keeping the spider back. She did not intend to sacrifice herself in that moment, but that is what happens. Carver of course blames himself, and tells everyone that he killed Avis, and this includes Fenris. Even after Fenris knows the full story, he blames him. They never got along, and now it's worse.

So, with all that said... Carver and Eshana don't see each other much. Fenris does try. He doesn't want to alienate his daughter from her mother's family and he does know deep down that the Maker himself could not have stopped Avis from pulling Carver out of the Nightmare's grip. So he tries. Carver does not.

Carver thinks he is not worthy to see his niece because he killed her mother, he can't look Fenris in the eye and know he hates him and know he deserves it. So he stays away, because it's better for everyone. Eshana has seen him only a handful of times, and it was always when a visit from him to Avery overlapped with one of Eshana's summer visits to Avery.

That was. Cheery. Anyway

Sebastian -

I am. I am so sorry. I hate Sebastian. I cannot bring myself to answer this. What you wrote is adorable I just cannot dedicate braincells to this man. I wish the tone could get brighter but unfortunately next is Anders

Anders

Your idea of Anders silently watching over her is so SO cute and I want so badly to tell you that you're correct but unfortunately. Anders is not. Fond of Eshana

See, in my version of the Fenris/Anders/Hawke mess, Anders copes with my Hawke choosing Fenris over him by inventing the narrative that Fenris doesn't really love her. Fenris is too much of a "wild dog" to love anyone, and one day, she'll realize this and come back to him. He convinces himself he's right because Fenris doesn't act like he loves her. He's never heard Fenris say it, he's never seen him call her "my love," he's never seen him prove that he loves her, at least not in his book

But then Avis gets pregnant, it's Fenris', she wants to keep it and Anders is devastated. She's now going to have the child of a man who cannot love her and she refuses to listen to him when he tries to tell her the hard truth. Still, Anders keeps with his initial belief, and accepts that when Avis comes to him she'll do so with a baby, and he'll help her raise it still

But. When the birth starts to go wrong and Fenris comes to him to save them, this narrative falls apart. Fenris' love, care, and concern for Avis is so in his face that he can't invent a narrative to pretend its not there anymore. He saw Fenris run to him in his clinic, desperate, begging him to save them. He saw how he stayed at her side until Anders was finally able to deliver the baby, and he saw him sit vigil at her bed, their child in his arms until she finally woke up after the whole ordeal was over. He could not pretend he didn't love her after all that

So. Eshana basically becomes a walking reminder to him of the fact that he was wrong. His fantasy was false. Avis was never going to come back to him. That's painful. And listen, Anders is very aware that this grudge is not fair to her. It's not Eshana's fault that she was born, but he feels what he feels, so he in general just avoids her.

The fact that she's Fenris' spitting image doesn't help either.

Varric

FINALLY some levity. Yes, Varric is the one letting her get away with everything as Viscount when Aveline won’t do it as guard captain. And you bet your ASS he’s paying to keep the carta and every other dangerous group MILES away from her. I won’t say they dote on her, mostly just stay away from her and that effectively makes them stay away from Kirkwall. If she’s caught in any crossfire it’ll still be hell to pay.

He’ll let her use his office as a playground. She can stamp things, sometimes open letters. He’s more than once been tempted to let her reply to letters but has yet to actually go through with it.

He calls her “Eyas” by the way. Which is what Hawke chicks are called.

So, to answer your final question of if she faced consequences before she ran away: Sort of. It’s less that she didn’t face consequences and more that due to her father, Aveline, and Varric’s efforts she’s grown up in a much safer world than they have. She hasn’t known the danger there really is out there because she hasn’t seen it. They’ve told her about it of course, and she isn’t stupid, but she’s definitely ignorant of the cold hard realities of how cruel the world can be.

She believes she just knows enough to make it through in one piece. That she can do it alone, not aware of the things the people around her have done to keep her safe all her life, and now she’ll be entirely without them for the first time ever. It goes about as well as you’d expect!

There you go! Sorry it took a little while to answer this I just wanted to do it justice. So here’s a long answer to a long ask! Thank you again!!

[misscricket]

Your Mouth Makes The Prettiest Noises (When You're Pissing Me Off)

Fandom: Dragon Age

Pairing: Canders (Carver Hawke / Anders)

Rating: R for Smut

Prompt: @dankou ‘You’re Hot When You’re Mad’.

Request: You can request a pairing here for Carver smut prompts.

AO3 Link HERE

Your Mouth Makes The Prettiest Noises (When You're Pissing Me Off)

The doors to the Hanged Man crashed open.

Instantly everyone in the tavern looked up, and took in the sight of the dark haired man standing in the double doorway, arms still outstretched and a grin on his handsome face. Most of the patrons recognised him as Garrett Hawke and looked away again, some rolling their eyes at the man’s drama.

Behind him, another dark haired man followed, sighing as he did.

“Must you do that?”

“Course I do, little brother,” Garrett grinned back at him as they made their way across the common room floor and up the stairs to Varric’s private suite, “Hello darlings!” he caroled as he crossed the threshold, spreading his arms again, “Daddy’s home! And look what the mabari dragged in!”

Carver pulled a horrified face behind his back, and slowly slipped into the room behind him.

“Carver!” Isabela waved at him with a wink, “My, my, the Wardens have done wonders with you.”

Beside her Varric chuckled, but nearby Fenris stood up abruptly, “Good,” he barked, voice sharp with annoyance, and for a moment Carver felt disappointment stab through him. Fenris had never seemed to like him, despite his best efforts. He’d hoped things might change, now that he was coming back as a Warden. But then the elf continued, “You can talk to him .”

There was a world of venom in his voice when he spat that word, and Carver blinked, before stepping further into the room to take in the shape of Anders sitting across the table from the irate elf.

“Oh Maker, do I have to?”

A corner of Fenris’ lips quirked up, “Yes. It is your punishment for making your brother worry about you. Sit.”

Carver elected to ignore the comment about his brother, who was currently tapping his fingers on Merrill’s shoulders, while she grinned up at him, and slowly made his way over to take Fenris’ place across the table.

Anders looked older than the last time he’d seen him, more cares worn into his face, and his golden eyes seemed to have lost some of their brightness. He also looked thinner, and Carver shot a glare at his brother. Surely he must have noticed…

“Let me guess.” he turned back to Anders, and smirked faintly, “You were talking about Mages.”

“Of course we were!” Anders scowled at him, “He can’t see how the situation of the Mages here is akin to slavery.”

Carver rolled his eyes, “Except...it isn’t.”

Anders’ eyes locked onto him, and there was a bit more life in his face, and his eyes.

“Andraste’s arse, are you still so bitter about your brother that you can’t look at the reality of the situation!”

Carver felt the old irritation flare, but instead he leaned back in his seat.

“No, I just think you have a terrible habit of using gross simplification to try and emotionally manipulate people into feeling pity for you.”

Anders’ feathers seemed to bristle with profound rage, and nearby, Carver saw Fenris shoot him a thoughtful look.

“How can you-?” Anders spluttered.

“Easily,” Carver leaned forward, “Look I don’t think the Circle is perfect. And the Templar Order is definitely not. And change does need to happen, you’re right about that much at least. But the fact of the matter is that just chucking the Mages out on their own, or treating them as everyone else is...well its stupid.”

“Your brother…”

“Was trained by my father.” Carver interrupted, firmly, “Who was Circle trained and knew exactly what to expect from young children discovering their magic.”

And they had me, he thought silently, the old anxiety clutching his chest before he pushed it ruthlessly away. He was a Warden now, he was no longer the one tasked with that...burden.

“The Templars could have dragged your father and your siblings to the tower.” Anders insisted, “You never would have seen them again. They might have been made Tranquil.”

“It’s not perfect.” Carver leaned back, “But the Templar order is something that in essence is needed. They are supposed to protect the mages...and protect from them as well. But with everything...it can so easily be corrupted by men with their own ideas. Men will always abuse high ideals to get what they want. But that doesn’t make the ideal wrong.”

Anders spluttered at him, and Isabela whistled softly, “Look who’s all grown up…” She leaned in with a wicked grin, “Who knew debating Mage theology could be so….stimulating.”

Carver shook his head at her, and turned back to Anders, who launched into his counter argument. Which Carver zoned out to after a single second because...sodding hell…

There was something about Anders. He wasn’t conventionally handsome, which was already something that Carver liked. He wasn’t pretty, he wasn’t cute...he was however...rather attractive. Especially with his golden eyes flaring with passion, and his lips slowly reddening from the agitated swipes of his tongue.

Something about him had always gotten under Carver’s skin.

At first it had been irritation at how quick Anders started fawning over his bloody brother. Then it had been rage at his casual references to Bethany...focusing only on the part of her that interested him. Her magic. She had been so much more...and he’d...well he’d reacted poorly.

So there was no love lost between them, but still...

It was unfair how attractive he found him. He liked the glimpses of a man behind his mission of Mage freedom, liked the cheeky humour and the flashing grins.

He was sodding gorgeous, and that always made Carver uncomfortable, because he didn’t have Garrett’s easy charm. He couldn’t say something witty and make it sound dashing. He was clumsy and awkward...and despite his friends in the Wardens helping him with it...he still found himself floundering more often than he could like.

So he’d resigned himself to staying quiet about it.

And he opened his mouth to give Anders a rebuttal.

But what came out of his mouth was,

“You’re kind of gorgeous when you’re mad.”

Anders spluttered to a stop and gaped at him. Fenris choked on his wine and Isabella yelped, tumbling off her chair.

Oh Maker…

Internally he felt the panic rising, and so he quickly stood and scooped up his tankard. “I’d better get another drink.”

“Hey!” Varric yelled after him as he beat a quick retreat out of the door, “That’s mine! Junior! Sodding hells…”

He thunked the tankard onto the counter and sighed softly, before gesturing for another one, “Fill both of them up please…”

“What the hell did you mean by that?”

Carver whipped around and gaped at Anders, who stood behind him, arms folded and a frown on his handsome face, “Anders…”

“What did you mean?” Anders growled, “Did you actually mean it or were you...being cruel?”

“Cruel?” Carver blinked at him in surprise, “Maker’s hairy ballsack why would I be cruel?”

“You...oh...you meant it then?”

Carver gave him a disbelieving look, “Yeah, I meant it...Didn’t mean to say it...but the contents...yeah that I meant.”

Anders’ tongue swiped out over his lips again, “So...I’m gorgeous when I’m mad?”

“You’re gorgeous all the time...well all the time you take care of yourself.” He plucked at the other’s coat, “Like, what the hell is this? You’re all skin and bones, Magey.”

Anders’ batted his hands away with a huff, “I’m not skin and bones,”

“You like hunted.” Carver informed him bluntly, “I know what that looks like now. And I also know how much food a Warden needs to eat in order to stay healthy. You are not eating enough.”

“Maker’s breath you fuss as much as Hawke does. Is that how you lot share affection? Fussing someone to death?”

Carver shot Anders a deadpan look and slowly dragged his eyes up the other man’s body, enjoying the flush that sprung up on his pale cheeks.

“Looks more like our fussing is stopping you from dying…” He shot the other a smug smirk, “Magey.”

“Stop that,” Anders scowled, and folded his arms, “We’re getting off track. You think I’m gorgeous.”

“When you’re mad.” Carver agreed, scooping up the new tankard and gulping down a mouthful before the taste hit him and he nearly gagged, “Holy balls of fire thats…” he caught Norah’s eye and wilted, “...good stuff.”

Anders laughed, and Carver turned back to look at him, “You’ve grown up a lot...but you’re still you. I’m glad to see the Wardens haven’t squashed the good parts of you yet.”

Carver frowned and shook his head, “See I don’t get it. You speak of them...with such bitterness. But when I ask them about you…”

Anders’ face crumpled slightly and for a second a painful vulnerability shone through, “They pity me, or hate me for betraying them.”

Carver stared at him, “You’re kidding right? Fucksakes Anders…”

“What?” the blond man blinked at him, “What?”

“They miss you.” Carver said firmly, and clearly, so the man couldn’t misunderstand a word, “They get this sad look, and they talk about you with such fondness. Cousland said she almost had a mutiny on her hands when you left. The others wanted to go after you, bring you back, make sure you were okay and safe. But she insisted they weren’t the Templar order, she didn’t want you caged. ‘If Anders needs us’” he quoted, “‘We’ll be there. He’ll always have a place with the Wardens.”

Anders’ face did something complicated, “You...really?”

Carver nodded and Anders looked away, and the pair of them lapsed into silence, not looking at each other as Carver drank again, fingering Varric’s tankard.

“I should um…-”

“Come back to the clinic with me.”

Carver blinked owlishly at the other man, “You what?”

Anders scowled but folded his arms, “Come back to the clinic. With me. And get naked.” When Carver simply blinked again, Anders rolled his eyes so hard he was surprised they didn’t pop loose, “With. Me.”

“Oh!” Carver put down his tankard and flushed darkly at the offer and the implication, “Oh...you want to...with me?”

“You are hopeless at this.” Anders informed him, before curling a hand into Carver’s black tunic, yanking him close with a grunt, “Andraste’s ninnyknickers…”

“Ninnyknickers?” Carver snickered, “I think you just like making those up to scandalise people, you and Isabela both.”

Anders’ eyes crinkled in the corners.

“I admit nothing. Now...are you coming with me?”

Carver nodded and pushed his tankard to the side. Anders’ smile brightened even more, and for a moment Carver amused himself with the thought that Anders looked like the cat that had gotten the milk, or bird, he’d wanted.

Together they hurried out of the Hanged Man, neither of them hearing Varric’s outraged splutter as he had to come down to the bar to retrieve his tankard.

~*~

No sooner had they made it back to the clinic than Anders had Carver pressed against the door, golden eyes smouldering.

“This wasn’t how I thought tonight was going to go,” the Mage informed him, and Carver barked a nervous laugh.

“You think this was in my plans Magey?”

Anders’ white teeth flashed in the torchlight and then he leaned in. Carver held his breath in anticipation but just a breath away from his lips, Anders paused.

“Something wrong?” Carver whispered, suddenly struck with insecurity, “I um...if this isn’t what you want…”

“Shut up, Carver,” Anders chuckled softly, and his hand lifted to gently brush along Carver’s jaw, “I was just...thinking.”

“About what?” Carver asked, confused and edging towards insulted.

“How gorgeous you are, here in my clinic, looking at me like that.”

The insulted feeling melted away instantly and Carver, ducked his head in embarrassment.

Unfortunately he did it at the exact moment Anders leaned in to kiss him.

“OW!” Anders yelped and Carver’s head snapped up, having felt the sharp bonk of his forehead against Anders’ nose, and saw the healer pinching the offending appendage, “Bwudy hell, Barva.”

“Sorry, shit….sorry!” Carver quickly snagged the bandage he always carried in his pocket and wadded it gently against Anders’ nose, stemming the bleeding, “Fucksakes….”

Anders burst into nasal laughter and a moment later he batted Carver’s hands away as pale blue magic misted over his nose, fixing it instantly, “You are a disaster.”

“That is what they tell me.” Carver sighed, “I’ll show myself out.”

“Carver…” Anders’ hand gently pushed his shoulder, sending his back thudding softly against the wood of the clinic door once more, “I want this. I don’t know how much clearer I can be that I want this…”

“Still?” Carver licked his lips and groaned softly as Anders’ golden eyes locked onto that movement hungrily, “Oh, okay...yeah...still…”

The blond leaned in, fingers slowly undoing the laces on Carver’s breeches.

“Also...clarification,” Anders murmured, lips a breath away from his once more, “I enjoy a quick tumble...but this...oh I’m going to savour you.”

Carver groaned, and next moment he was kissing Anders.

His hands lifted to gently cradle the Mage’s head, thumbs lightly caressing his jaw as he tilted the other’s chin up, deepening the kiss.

Inexperienced he was, but kissing...oh he’d done a bit of kissing. One of his warden associates had even called them toe-curling. And Anders definitely seemed to approve, because he moaned into Carver’s mouth, and leaned into him, warm and wanting.

“You’re full of surprises, Warden Hawke.” Anders purred against his lips as the kiss broke, and Carver groaned, kissing his way down the other’s neck, wrestling with the coat and tunic underneath, “Pity you’re such a little shit...that mouth of yours is magic otherwise.”

Carver laughed against his neck and bit sharply, enjoying the yelp it elicited, “Like you can talk Anders.”

“True...we should form a...club.” there was a note of wistfulness in his voice, a longing deeper than what they were doing, and Carver pulled back slightly to look at his face.

Anders looked a little unsettled, unsure, and so Carver gently brushed his cheek with the back of his hand, and then sank to his knees, “Want me to use my bratty mouth in a more useful way, Magey?”

Instantly, hunger ignited in Anders’ golden eyes once more, and his long, deft, elfroot stained hands, gently carded through Carver’s black hair.

“Maker, yes.”

Carver grinned, and undid Anders’ breeches, considerably less deftly than the Mage had done with his, and tugged the mage free of his small clothes, enjoying the sound that the action drew from the man above him.

He’d done this before, twice, and had enjoyed it, but there was something about this time, something about Anders, that made Carver extra determined to make him go weak at the knees.

So he leaned in and slowly ran his lips along him, feathering his tongue against the warm, soft skin, while he also grasped the mage with his other hand. Anders wasn’t the largest man he’d been with, but he was quite long, and Carver’s hand wrapped around him in a way that was profoundly satisfying.

Apparently it was also satisfying to the blond man above him, as the action earned a truly wanton sound. It made Carver grin against him, and then take Anders deep into his mouth, fingers peeling away as he bobbed, smirking at the noises the actions elicited.

“Carver…”

He’d never get tired of hearing his name on Anders’ lips, especially with that little hitch of breath, the catch of pleasure in his voice.

Carver turned all his considerable focus onto Anders, determined to make the man melt, and it didn’t take long, by Warden standards anyway, for Anders to begin shivering against him, those long elegant fingers tugging at his hair.

“Carver...Maker...I’m…please…”

Carver smirked, thrilled to having reduced the mouthy mage to a few spluttered, moaned words, and sucked sharply.

Instantly Anders’ knees gave way, and Carver held him up, with his strong arms wrapped snugly around his thighs.

“Carver!” Anders’ voice was a wail of pleasure, and the young Grey Warden smiled as he felt the mage reach the edge and tumble over it. Carefully he swallowed around him, until Anders’ noises became discomforted ones, too sensitive for him to continue his ministrations. Gently he lifted the mage and staggered them over to Anders’ private room, small and dark and windowless and musty. But it had a bed, and that was what he tumbled them onto, in a great sprawl of limbs.

Instantly Anders wrapped himself around Carver, nosing at his neck sleepily, “You haven’t...I need to.”

Carver looked down at the mage, and saw the exhaustion in every line of his body, the way his eyelids could barely even crack open, and how utterly boneless he was. Although he was hard as a rock, he smiled, and gently carded his fingers through Anders’ fine blond hair.

“That’s okay Magey, you get some sleep.”

“S’bad sex manners.” Anders mumbled, already halfway to the Fade.

Carver chuckled and kissed his lips softly, “I’m sure we’ll do this again. You can make it up to me then.”

“Stay…” Anders breathed, before he drifted off into sleep, a smile on his lips.

Leaving Carver, aching, but with a deep, warm feeling of satisfaction simmering in his chest.

“I’ll stay.” he whispered, wrapping his arms around Anders’ feeling the too thin knobbles of his spine, “Someone has to look after you Magey.”

And he determinedly did not think about the packet of orders waiting for him in his room back at the manor. He could take a week or two here in Kirkwall surely…

...after that…

Well…

Who knew.

[therealdragonnerdagain]

To the people who wanna talk shit about this blog in the forums . . .

Couple years ago, I said that Mass Effect 3 would have been perfect if not for that shitty ending.

I said that because I would have been willing to overlook the garbage that was in the rest of the game if the ending hadn't been such shit.

But anyone who actually read most of my Mass Effect 3 posts here would know that I complained A LOT about the whole of Mass Effect 3 -- specifically Shep's auto-dialogue, the botched Mass Effect 2 romances, and Kai Fucking Leng.

Mass Effect 3 also had some really gross stuff in it, like FemShep taking advantage of her rank to basically rape Vega (because I guess the writers thought male rape was funny) and all this other shit.

Yeah. Mass Effect 3 had its fair share of problems. The Ending was just the icing on an already sour cake.

Also, I understand what a "protagonist" is, asswipes who love talking shit about this blog.

I didn't mean that Solas was actually the protagonist. I meant that he stole so much of the story, he might as well have been the protagonist.

This was done to the point that Corypheus wasn't our enemy, he was Solas' enemy -- we and Corypheus just didn't fucking know it.

This was done to the point that it was never our Inquisition -- it was Solas' Inquisition. This is something the Inquisitor can even SAY during Tresspasser "Was it ever MY Inquisition?" Of course, Solas denies that he was ever really in charge, but he was in the background pulling a lot of strings, even if he didn't have the final say.

Also, people are saying Solas won't even be important in DA4, so we Solasmancers should stop bitching.

Well, if Solas isn't important, then why weren't we given the option to deal with him in Trespasser and end his story there?

We are given the option to murder knife, join, or spare Morrigan and Anders (the other "evil" apostates) but we are not given the option to deal with Solas in a similar fashion? That's bullshit.

And if Solas isn't that important, it will just be a symptom of yet more sloppiness on Bioware's part.

See, all this happened because

1) Bioware did not have a plan from the beginning. They didn't plan for this series to be more than one game, then couldn't decide whether or not to bring the Warden back -- because some people had a dead Warden (myself included).

They got around this by inventing Hawke, who was then supposed to pick up the rest of the series as the main protagonist, leading the Inquisition and so forth.

But things changed AGAIN. Probably because lots of fans didn't like being forced to play a predefined, human character. Dragon Age 2 was nothing like the first game we all loved. Dragon Age 2 was basically Pseudo Final Fantasy, with it's own Cloud (Fenris) and everything.

So Bioware tried to go back to its roots with Inquisition, scrapping Hawke as the protagonist and inventing the Inquisitor, yet ANOTHER human noble character.

People didn't like being forced to play another human noble. Most of us (myself included) got into this series because we loved choosing who we were. I have always identified with oppressed outsiders (because I am an oppressed outsider) so I always play elves. I did not wnat to play a human again.

Bioware listened and added multiple races, but by then it was too late: the series had become a butchered clusterfuck, a thin shadow of what it had been.

2) The second reason all this happened? EA thought it would be great to take an rpg with depth and maturity and water it down into some streamlined mess. Somehow, they equated butchering a story with appealing to a wider audience and gaining more money.

So we have this MESS before us today that is Dragon Age (god, I fucking HATE EA), where every protagonist after the Warden has a clusterfuck story where they never defeat their own arch-nemesis and instead pass them off to some other hero.

I'm sorry, but Solas DOES belong to the Inquisitor as a villian. Just as Corypheus *really* belonged to Hawke (because Inquisition was originally a continuation of Hawke's story).

Just as we would have been pissed had Hawke stepped in at the last minute to kill the archdemon, thus stealing the Warden's enemy (who we worked so HARD to defeat) from them.

The Inquisitor is *not* coming back as a protagonist. Bioware has denied the arm has anything to do with it (they don't want to look ableist but being anti-indigenous is fine and dandy!) but no matter the reason, the Inquisitor's story is over and they are not going to be the protagonist anymore.

This means I don't get to end Solas' story as the Inquisitor.

That SUCKS.

That's like . . . ending Morrigan's story as Hawke, even though I romanced Morrigan in the game before and had history with her (and I did on two playthroughs romance Morrigan, so I waited for Witch Hunt just like everyone else).

That's like . . . ending Anders' story as the Inquisitor, even though Hawke had personal history (including betrayal) with him.

Remember what it was like after DA2 dropped? Remember all the gamers who HATED Anders and were foaming at the mouth about his betrayal? Imagine for one SECOND if they were not given the option to deal with Anders as Hawke and he instead carried over to Inquisition? As will Nerd Rage, the outrage would have been perpetual and unending.

And yet, I, a Solasmancer, am expected to just accept the way the story was handled, without criticizing it or even lamenting it. I, a Solasmacer, am expected to just . . . quietly accept something I don't like.

I suppose Nerd Rage is purely reserved for straight white homophobic dudes who want to kill Anders because he hit on them once.

Why are Solasmancers ridiculed and mocked for wanting to end Solas' story AS Lavellan? Why in FUCK is that such a god-awful thing?

It pisses me off because I already decided -- long before Trespasser was released -- that I would no longer be buying anymore Dragon Age games. Their anti-indigenous hate-screed (on top of the over-all sad dumbing down of the game into an MMORPG) had already convinced me to quit the series. So learning that my character would not get a proper ending to her story until the next game was beyond annoying.

But whatever. Go on mocking me on fextralife and bsn and whatever forum you like.

What I can't understand is why people even pay attention to my blog. I am just one fan ranting bitterly to myself about how a video game disappointed me.

I'm just one fan. I'm not hurting anyone.

And I'm allowed to have whatever fucking reaction I want to these games.

I'm allowed to have an opinion.

Hard to wrap your head around, I know.

EDIT: And to Steel Can.

I have watched for years as you behaved on the forums like a racist asshat about people of color, hiding behind your hatred of the Dalish to justify it. I wish you’d just shut the living fuck UP.

NO. The Dalish don't expect nor force city elves to worship their gods when they join them. Play a Dalish in Origins sometime. You might actually learn something -- not that you care to learn that you’re wrong. 

You're trying so DESPERATELY to justify the religious oppression of the elves. You're trying so DESPERATELY to justify the shitty way Lavellan was treated for her beliefs by everyone in the game -- even her friends -- by building false equivalences (the white man’s favorite passtime) and pretending the elves are just as bad as the humans.

But they're not. This is something Manifest Destiny, racist white men, would have you believe. They need you to believe it in order to justify history’s crimes. They need you to believe that indigenous people were violent savages who warred upon each other, so this made it “okay” and even “good for them” to be invaded, enslaved, and oppressed. 

I mean, it’s not like white people didn’t treat the Irish and the Scottish like garbage or anything. White people were always good to each other. They never tortured each other in dungeons and beheaded each other over loaves of bread . . .

Dalish elves were not forcing anyone to their religion when they joined their camps. Pol never gets vallalsin in the ten years he’s with the Dalish. Because he doesn’t have to. When you meet him in Origins. he is being taught to hunt and survive. The Dalish Warden tells him to just make himself useful, and he is welcome. No religious conversion required. He is not forced into elven religion.

And even if Pol was forced:

Nothing can justify what was done to the elves. 

Nothing can justify imperialism, invasion, genocide, cultural genocide, and slavery.

Just as nothing can justify what was done to real indigenous people. 

I bet you hated the Thalmor in Skyrim and sided with the Stormcloaks to protect their religion even while hating the Dalish -- a people facing religious oppression -- in Dragon Age. Because only white men are allowed to have cultural, religious freedom, and any culture that’s not white isn’t worthy of respect, right?

But why am I wasting my time, Steel Can? Your sorry racist ass will never understand. You enjoy shitting on real indigenous people and using Dragon Age to justify it. Because Bioware's racism gave you the tools to do so.

That does not make you or Bioware right.

Also, Red Crossing started when two HUMANS killed an elven woman while trespassing on Dalish land.

[ramblinganthropologist]

Inktober Day 30 - Candy is dandy

Summary: Why is Moses pouting? Avery figures it out with a bit of help from a pirate and a kitty cat. I love you? I know.  Word count: 1303

---

“Thanks, lady!”

“Don't get eaten on the way home, kid.”

Avery sighed in relief as she closed the door. The last trick or treater had left at last, meaning she was free to go back to being a foul mouthed asshole. It had only been a few hours, but they had been some of the longest of her life.

Turning off the light was almost a guilty pleasure as she turned to go back into the house. The bowl she brought with her was a quarter full still, more than enough candy to sustain her for the next few days. Well, if she didn't eat the whole thing that night away.

“Next year you're on door duty.”

“You lost the bet, blame yourself.”

Moses was still on the couch, Dog at his side. Even if he hadn't been the one to go out and give candy, he was dressed up. Most people wouldn't have thought a 7 foot man could pull off Princess Leia, but he did it with such a style that even she was a little jealous.

It was the shoes; had to be the shoes.

“Yeah, yeah, you're doing it next year.” Avery flopped down on the couch with her bowl of candy. Chewy settled in at her feet, also tired from handing out. “You should've seen the kids, though. They all wanted to pet Chewy.”

“She's a mountain of fluff. Kids like that.”

They also like daring adventurers with a shitty ship and plenty of sarcasm. Han Solo was Avery's standard costume, even with Bethany so far away. Besides, she already had her Chewbacca, and she saw no reason to bend the tradition, especially when she had a Leia at her side.

Still, the asshole could've handed out candy.

Moses eyed her candy bowl as he flipped channels on TV in order to find something to watch. He eventually settled in on a Law and Order: Orzammar Unit marathon. It wasn't either of their favorite, but it was good.

“Did you give any of that to the kids?”

Avery snorted as she peeled the wrapper off a small Kit-Kat and threw the whole thing into her mouth with a crunch. After she chewed through it, she snarked back. “It's not full, is it?”

“Don't talk with your mouth full, you'll summon Leandra's ghost.”

Well, wouldn't that put the fright into Halloween. That definitely got her to finish chewing quietly, glancing over her shoulder just in case the last Amell did pop up to chastise her from beyond the grave. With blood magic, anything was possible.

Luckily, she didn't show up. Good.

“I saved some Twix for Fenris and Anders. They're in the two bags on the counter. Fenris gets the green one, and Anders the blue.” Color-coding saved so much problem with their boyfriends; plus, they were getting the same amount. It was some great irony of the universe that such discordant allies liked the same candy, but they could reflect on that later.

Probably at the Hanged Man to tease them. That would be part of the fun, after all.

Much to Avery's surprise, though, Moses seemed to deflate a little. He didn't say anything though, just kept staring at the TV. Still, she was sure she had seen just the slightest hint of a frown cross his face, though it could have been a trick of the light.

What got his goat?

She would have asked, but a sudden knocking at the door changed her train of thought. The siblings did exchange looks, with a silent question of whether they should ignore it or not passed through. When the knock sounded a second, then a third time, well, that just meant someone had to go get it.

“You lost the bet.”

“I hate you.” Avery grumbled as she stood and brought the bowl to the door. Chewy followed her, tail wagging. She put on the best fake smile she could to hide her annoyance, and then opened the door for the last minute trick or treaters.

Instead, she got an asshole and a sweetheart.

“Trick or treat, Hawke!” Isabela was a pirate. Well, she was always a pirate, but now she looked like one, big hat and all. She was positively beaming as a matter of fact. “Now, give us some candy so we don't play a trick.”

Merrill was next to her, giggling. She had cat ears on, and her fake tail was close to dragging on the floor. Clearly, she was some type of dog. “Are we really going to play a trick on her?”

“It's part of the fun, Kitten.” The pirate was still grinning as she turned to face her friend. “Well, space pirate? Going to give us any?”

Avery responded by closing the door and turning to go back to the living room. She reopened it, of course, when she heard Isabela shouting a curse at her on the other side. Both of them got some candy, though the pirate got it thrown at her.

“You are 10 years too old to do this and you know it so I hate you.” A pause, before. “You're perfect just the way you are, Merrill so I can't hate you.”

Isabela pouted, but she accepted her candy anyway. “You're turning into an old woman too early, Hawke.”

Still, she peered past her to try and spot Moses. Still sitting on the couch, the mage gave her a half wave before turning back to the TV show. That was about as friendly as he was getting that night, apparently.

Merrill frowned as she watched. “Did something upset him?”

“Maybe he didn't get the right candy.” Isabela shook her head as they backed away from the door. “Anyway, we're going to go bother Aveline next. Do you want photos?”

“Hell yes I do.” And then Avery closed the door for real that time. However, Isabela's words gave her pause. Then, she applied her palm to her forehead with a surprising amount of force. “No fucking shit! Maker, I'm dumb!”

Moses was unaware of any of this, of course. He was still in the living room, watching his dwarf detectives solve a case of murder in the Proving. Still, he was definitely sulking a little. It would've been adorable if he wasn't 7 feet tall and she had to live with him.

She had something to fix that, though.

“Don't think I forgot you, bro.” A small wrapped bag was placed in his lap. “I had it in the kitchen where you couldn't find it.”

Ok, maybe she had forgotten about it, but it wasn't like his candy of choice went bad. For some reason, Moses just loved the gross strawberry candies that old ladies gave out when you visited their house. Maybe it was a blood mage thing. Hell if she knew.

That brightened his mood for sure as he went for one almost immediately. “Where did you hide it?”

“In the cabinet under the microwave since you can't reach it.” Avery snickered as she settled in next to him with another piece of candy. “Ooh, I love this one. Isn't it the episode where it's actually the warrior's daughter who killed him by seducing his opponent and poisoning his blade?”

“Spoilers.”

And that's how they spent the rest of their evening, waiting for the pictures that would come from their friends harassing another and talking shit on the fake blood magic in Law and Order episodes. This was done with plenty of candy and some good company.

All in all, it was a great way to spend the night. Maybe next year they would just save all the candy for themselves and pretend  they didn't exist.

[njadastonearm]

1, 2, 4, 21, 27 for the valentine ask meme :D

1. Your favourite non-canon ship?

THERE ARE SO MANY GOOD ONES TO CHOOSE FROM. I do love my non-canon NPC/NPC rarepairs, though. I think Vilkas/Ria still owns my heart, on some level. Also love my OC/OC and OC/NPC pairs, but it’s harder to pick a fave there.

Also gonna give a shout-out to Luna/Neville from HP. They were always canon in my heart and in that one scene in the last movie, and that’s all that matters.

2. Is there a ship you didn’t like at first but ultimately started shipping?

It took a while for Courier/Swank to grow on me (honestly, I just didn’t fucking know who he was for a while and I kept seeing his name pop up on the FOKM and it just confused me), but now, well…. I love it.

4. Name a popular ship you don’t get the appeal of.

Are you sure you wanna open this can of worms

There are plenty that are just flat-out gross that I won’t touch on here (I am staring directly at 90% of Bioshock ships, though), but in terms of “not bad per se but also not my thing”…. there are still a lot, most of which involve characters I don’t really like. The one that comes to mind first is Ha/nders- I mean, I get that he’s a canon romance and I know why a lot of people like him, but many of his interactions in DA2 really rubbed me the wrong way (I was waaaay uncomfortable with how he treats a Hawke who’s romancing Fenris or Merrill instead of him). It’s just something that put me off from that ship permanently.

21. Favourite thing you’ve ever created for a ship?

Hoo boy. That’s a good one. Idk what my favorite one is exactly, but the one I’m most proud of is for the pair I mentioned above- Vilkas/Ria, if you’re into the Companions in Skyrim. This fic right here is the longest complete fic I’ve written, and while it’s not long by most standards (only about 23k words over 30 chapters), it did require a solid two months of writing and editing every day and I’m still pleased with how it came out. Plus, there aren’t a whole lot of fics for that pairing, so I felt like I contributed something that all three people who care about that pairing would like to read. I wouldn’t say it’s the best fic I’ve ever written (or even necessarily the best ship-centric fic I’ve ever written), but it holds a special place in my heart.

(Also gonna put in a plug for Ria’s backstory fic, which, while not ship-centric, does have a relationship nobody would think to ship, including myself. Given the unlikelihood of that ship, which kinda just happened while I was writing it, I’d say I did an okay job of making it convincing and potentially heartwrenching. Fair warning- the fic itself is not happy overall, and the ship is no exception. Things don’t end well.)

27. Name a ship that deserved better in the end.

listen to me Subject Delta and Augustus Sinclair both survived and made it topside and retired to that private island Sinclair was yammering on about and nothing you say can convince me otherwise.

[jitterydebonair]

Dragon age for the favorite character thing?

>:3canon u didn’t say which game specifically so I’m gonna go with dragon age 2 since it’s what I’ve been playing for the past few monthsThe first character I first fell in love with: Well I thought Aveline was hot? Lmao but fell in love with... I think Merrill first. I thought she was so adorable and still do!!The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: Fenris! And all he had to do was speak... it’s hard liking him tho cause he’s....not nice lmaohe can be really harsh esp towards my mage companions (and especially especially towards merrill!!!) but when you’re friends with him/romance him...i love this angsty porcupine ok The character everyone else loves that I don’t: Anders? He’s just okay, he kind of reminds me of Alistair lite in terms of appearance and parts of his personality (except I love Alistair)I condone his love of cats tho, A+ good tasteThe character I love that everyone else hates: Isabela is a really big dork, i think she’s cute! She reminds me of sera in a way, who is also a character i like that a lot of ppl hate.And while ppl love shipping fenris with the dude default hawke they treat him rlly bad at the same time so I’m counting him tooThe character I used to love but don’t any longer: Aveline cause of her intense slut shaming towards Isabela and her quest to set her up with donnic pissed me off. I was blinded by her muscles and voice at first but now the haze has cleared and frankly im unimpressed The character I would totally smooch: Merrill! With her cute face and cute voiceThe character I’d want to be like: Varric cause he’s chill and likeable and has a questionable relationship with his crossbowThe character I’d slap: aveline. tho my hand would probably break on her strong faceAnd also knight commander Meredith cause she looks like that blonde parks and rec lady who’s last name i can’t spellA pairing that I love: (my) hawke/fenris :3and i think that merrill/isabela is cute!! I’m afraid to see how the fandom portrays it tho for obvious reasons so I don’t go into the tagA pairing that I despise: umm any white hawke/fenris or isabela cause i don’t trust white ppl with brown characters and I’ve already seen how they characterize fenris. no way.anders/fenris squicks me out bc the things they say to each other??? Are really gross!!! (Esp anders about fen being a slave. wtf dude)Also I’m not a fan of Aveline/Donnic even tho it’s canon. Came out of nowhere in my humble onion n aveline should have a gf (not me tho cause im about tired of her shenanigans)

[ramblinganthropologist]

The dumbest thing I ever wrote

I’m not tagging this.

Summary: all he wanted to do was drink his coffee

You know... Fenris was really more of a cat person.

“Neither of you can have dairy.”

Really, it was more Chewy that was doing the begging, but Dog wasn't too far behind. The Hawke household's pair of mabaris were in fine form that morning as he held his mug high above where they could reach on four paws. If they went up on two, it was game over – but they were too well trained for that. Instead he just got a lethal case of puppy eyes as he made his way from the kitchen, coffee in hand.

He just wanted to drink his coffee without a morning parade of furry friends. How did Fereldens put up with it?

“No. Sit. Stay.”

The magic words caused both dogs to sit on their haunches and stop moving. Fenris breathed a sigh of relief as he slipped away, heading upstairs and careful not to spill a drop. The spell would be broken soon enough, usually by Chewy first. She was as impulsive as her mistress – it was why they made such a good team. Problem was... he really wanted his coffee.

The elf sighed in relief as he reached the bathroom and closed the door behind him. Inside it was dog free and quiet. After checking to make sure the seat was down, he sat on the toilet with mug in hand. Best of all, his coffee was still warm.

Really... Fereldens were a special people to live with mabari.

“Finally.”

His first sip of coffee made the entire day look brighter. Fenris felt his mood lifting as he sat back, enjoying the quiet. Every time he stayed over, there was something... interesting in the morning. This was just one of those things he was learning to live with. Deal with Hawke, deal with dogs, or so the saying went. He may have made it up, but it was a good one.

Speaking of... Chewy was definitely at the door, whimpering softly in the hopes she might be able to squeeze her massive frame under the small gap in order to reach him. For some reason, the furry mountain was enamored with him. He chalked it up to how her mistress treated him and it was something like transference of feelings. Or maybe it was the ears. She liked to lick her owner's when she got the chance.

Dogs were weird like that.

“You're too big to fit, Chewy.” Fenris found a soft chuckle escaping his lips as he watched the poor creature try to slip a paw under the door. She had probably learned that from Anders' cat. Unlike Pounce, she was far too big for it and just managed to nudge her paw against the door. In a sad way, it was adorable.

Poor thing didn't realize how big she actually was.

He continued to sip his coffee, quietly enjoying the morning save for the whimpering dog on the other side of the door. No, not Dog – Dog was quiet. He was a good boy, almost as quiet as his master some days. But he was there too, either because Chewy was there or because he wanted to be with Fenris as well. With that one, it was hard to tell.

“Hey, there's nobody dead behind there, is it? Better not be Moses or Anders, or we're all kinds of fucked.”

A voice cut through the dog whimpers, and footsteps approached the door. There was two of them, so it was probably a human. The doorknob rattled, and then the person swore softly as they realized it was locked. Fenris had learned that one the hard way.

“If I was dead, would I be able to answer?”

Avery Hawke's voice carried through the wood. “In Kirkwall? Who knows – down girl, leave the man alone. Go find Sandal, he'll play with you.”

Chewy barked, and then Fenris listened as the sound of paws padded against wood at a high rate of speed. There went the mountain mabari, her constant companion at her heels as they sought out their other favorite playmate. For the moment, it was just sentient beings.

Just the way he liked his mornings.

Fenris got up from the toilet and walked over to the door, mug still in hand. “Your dog wanted some of my coffee.”

“I hope you didn't give her any, she's wired as it is.” Avery chuckled softly as the doorknob rattled. “Going to let me in, or am I locked out too?”

The locked clicked softly as he turned it. On the other side of the door stood one of his favorite people in Kirkwall, looking as though she had just finished getting dressed for the day. Judging from the lack of activity, they were the only two awake.

Because of course the mages were sleeping in. Who didn't see that one coming?

“Thanks. I needed to brush my teeth before heading down to grab something to eat.” Right, a dragon had to take care of her fangs. Fenris moved to the side to allow her access to the sink. Up on the step stool she went. “Why you in here anyway? You don't look like you took a shower or anything.”

Fenris raised his mug of half finished coffee as she worked on keeping her sharp teeth in check. “Your dog is persistent in her desires.”

It took her a few seconds to answer, given her mouth was full of a purple toothbrush and a lot of foam. He was probably saved from whatever snappy comeback had come to her lightning fast brain. Instead, she focused on getting the taste of mint out of her mouth. For some reason, she couldn't stand the taste. Blood and lyrium were no problem, but mint? Forget about it.

Again, Fereldens – he would never understand them.

“So you're drinking your coffee in the bathroom?”

She cocked her eyebrow as he took another sip of the mentioned beverage. Fenris met her gaze with his own, brain night quite vibing on her level. In his mind, it was safer than out in the open at that time of day. Desperate times, desperate measures and all that.

“Yes?”

Avery snorted as she wiped her mouth off. “Gross.”

Fenris shook his head, already feeling like this was something he shouldn't ask. Curiosity and the cat, he supposed. “And why is that?”

He watched as the half elf hopped off her stool and approached him. On flat feet, she came up to his shoulder, but that was plenty of area to work with when it wasn't early in the morning and he had a mug full of coffee he very much wanted to drink. Well, half full – it had been a busy morning after all.

“Cause it's the bathroom. I dunno, a dick could wind up in it or something.”

…

Fenris' eyebrow met his hairline. “A dick. In my coffee.”

“Yeah. Dicks are out in the bathroom my dude.” Her tone was matter of fact. “Kind of the place for it after all.”

This was the logic that led to someone drinking dragon's blood, no doubt.

Still, Fenris couldn't help but chuckle as he tried to work through her leaps in thought. Maybe that was why he sat back down on the covered toilet, coffee still in hand. “I think it may be worth the risk. No doubt I would notice a rogue phallus heading towards my drink.”

In hindsight, he realized he probably shouldn't have said that. In his defense, it was early and the coffee wasn't working perfectly yet. Maybe if it had, he would have noticed the look in Avery's eyes or how they quickly darted down to the zipper of her distressed jeans.

“That so?”

Fenris knew that tone. “Avery-”

But there was the grin, and down went the zipper. And then... well, he couldn't say he didn't commit to her routines. When she had a plan, she stuck with it to the bitter end.

But still... really? In his coffee?

His eyebrow stayed by his hairline. “You're lucky that wasn't hot.”

“Oh, come on. You know fire doesn't kill a dragon.” Avery sounded quite proud of herself, all things considered. Fenris suppressed a groan, knowing full well she had been storing that line for ages, just waiting for it. Maybe he was lucky he was the only one to hear it. Had others been around, it might have only encouraged her further.

You know, besides the circumstance he currently found himself in. It could be worse.

Avery was still chuckling as she dried off and zipped her jeans back up. However, she let out a sudden squeak and almost doubled over, face turning red. Fenris winced, one eye closing, as he watched her struggle through it.

Fire might not have killed a dragon, but metal teeth just might.

“Are you-”

“I need healing.”

Her voice came out as a strangled squeak. Fenris got to watch as she stumbled out of the bathroom, no doubt making a route for her other lover to fix it. After all... there were just things you didn't ask your brother to do. At least Avery had the sense to close the door behind her so the dogs couldn't get in.

Thanks to that, he was alone with his altered drink. Fenris stared down at it, contemplating if it was still worth drinking. He could go get another cup, one that hadn't been... well, he could get another one. But that was in the kitchen, and it meant going through the wall of muscle and fur that would be waiting for him.

So he took another sip. After all... it wasn't like he hadn't ever had her in his mouth before. This was more of a transitive process anyway.

Was it weird he had almost thought it would taste like nuts?

…

Yeah, probably. But Fenris didn't care as he continued drinking his coffee in silence. Eventually, he was going to have to leave the bathroom and face the day. Until then, however... it was just him and his mug with the only source of sanity in the Hawke household.

He really did have strange taste in women. But it could be worse. At least she closed the door for him.